Happy Birthday to me. It's over... - 06/08/04 01:49 AM
Hi group,
Well I turned 50 today and figured it was time I grew up and called her bluff. I have been out of the house since February, back and forth for the kids, to give her space to contemplate her desire for trying to get back together to work on our marriage. I pretty much got the answer I figured I would get. Everything I say to her now she takes as if I am accusing her of something. We talk but we don't communicate. She thinks I am going to be a big mean ugly monster and do all kinds of sneaky underhanded stuff to hurt her and try to take the kids away from her.
She told me she would not go to marriage counseling. Had not seen her counselor in over a month, ( was waiting for her to call to set up an appointment for her ) Ya right.. As we sat at the dinner table ( she invited me for a birthday dinner ) her look became more and more sour as the dinner progressed. After the kids left the table I asked her what was wrong and after 5 or 6 nothings, she admitted she wasn't comfortable sitting at the table with me. This was before our talk.. Well I guess you don't have to hit me more than once with that 2 x 4.
I then informed her that in light of the current situation I would be moving back in. That went over real well ;-)
Time for me to take the cow by the udders and turn this situation on a new course. I'm going to do the driving now.
This will of course will all be done with love and respect as well as possible. I am not going to make this a dirty fight. After all she is still the mother of my children. Albeit a confused mother and person.
Why did I do this ? I asked my counselor about her possibilities of turning things around given her current frame of mind and history. Simply put she was not "getting with the program" and without working through her own problems she would never have a healthy relationship with me and any other relationship she may have in the future was doomed to suffer the same fate.
This started in November, the bomb anyway, actually started in her childhood, but I am being made the scapegoat and can't escape my fate with her with me. So I must cut the strings and move on. "Twangggggg !" anybody remember my wrecking ball story ? That was the last strand breaking. With any luck I'll dodge the ball.........
I move back in Saturday. Hopefully without police presence. This is going to be a tough situation for us both. With any luck she will either get serious and go back to counseling or move out and see what life is like outside the comfy home I have provided.
Off to the lawyers to draft a divorce agreement in the next day or 2. NO sense in waiting any longer.
Good Night and God Bless
David A
Not the news I wanted but at least I know and can move forward. Please don't think I haven't considered the children in all this. They are the biggest reason I am moving back in. They have become embroiled in many typical teenage problems in my opinion to a very fast and hard degree. I have to step in and be the tough love daddy and and bring a renewed sense of morality to my house.
Well I turned 50 today and figured it was time I grew up and called her bluff. I have been out of the house since February, back and forth for the kids, to give her space to contemplate her desire for trying to get back together to work on our marriage. I pretty much got the answer I figured I would get. Everything I say to her now she takes as if I am accusing her of something. We talk but we don't communicate. She thinks I am going to be a big mean ugly monster and do all kinds of sneaky underhanded stuff to hurt her and try to take the kids away from her.
She told me she would not go to marriage counseling. Had not seen her counselor in over a month, ( was waiting for her to call to set up an appointment for her ) Ya right.. As we sat at the dinner table ( she invited me for a birthday dinner ) her look became more and more sour as the dinner progressed. After the kids left the table I asked her what was wrong and after 5 or 6 nothings, she admitted she wasn't comfortable sitting at the table with me. This was before our talk.. Well I guess you don't have to hit me more than once with that 2 x 4.
I then informed her that in light of the current situation I would be moving back in. That went over real well ;-)
Time for me to take the cow by the udders and turn this situation on a new course. I'm going to do the driving now.
This will of course will all be done with love and respect as well as possible. I am not going to make this a dirty fight. After all she is still the mother of my children. Albeit a confused mother and person.
Why did I do this ? I asked my counselor about her possibilities of turning things around given her current frame of mind and history. Simply put she was not "getting with the program" and without working through her own problems she would never have a healthy relationship with me and any other relationship she may have in the future was doomed to suffer the same fate.
This started in November, the bomb anyway, actually started in her childhood, but I am being made the scapegoat and can't escape my fate with her with me. So I must cut the strings and move on. "Twangggggg !" anybody remember my wrecking ball story ? That was the last strand breaking. With any luck I'll dodge the ball.........
I move back in Saturday. Hopefully without police presence. This is going to be a tough situation for us both. With any luck she will either get serious and go back to counseling or move out and see what life is like outside the comfy home I have provided.
Off to the lawyers to draft a divorce agreement in the next day or 2. NO sense in waiting any longer.
Good Night and God Bless
David A
Not the news I wanted but at least I know and can move forward. Please don't think I haven't considered the children in all this. They are the biggest reason I am moving back in. They have become embroiled in many typical teenage problems in my opinion to a very fast and hard degree. I have to step in and be the tough love daddy and and bring a renewed sense of morality to my house.