Marriage Builders
Posted By: Stacia_Lee It's been forever! - 03/30/23 04:06 PM
Good Heavens! It seems like a lifetime since I dropped into this forum.

I was a regular back in the day, well 20 years ago!

I raised my husband's child from an affair. I ended up adopting her when she was 14 years old.
Honestly, she has always looked like me, so it really isn't obvious to anyone. I have 2 boys that
were born after my daughter and they all look similar, so when I talk about my pregnancies, that's
when people ask, "What about her?" "OH, that was the easiest one. I didn't actually have her."

I have close to 750 posts on here. Nearly all of them are on this board. I go back and read them and
really can see how I grew with the support of this community.

I did finally end up divorcing my WH. I have been divorced since November of 2020.
I now have a grandson that I love beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

I will start checking in more often. I will try to help anyone. I read a little and I see there are some that aren't
finding anyone to discuss the issues with. It was so helpful for me to have someone to talk to and find that
I truly wasn't crazy with how I felt.

You're going to find a way through this. I did, and if I can, Anyone can!
Don't hesitate to reach out. I'll update my profile to have my FB so you can connect offboard if need be.
Just be sure to mention MB when messaging!

Stacia Lee
Former BW 54
Divorced after 27 years.
DD/OC - 21 now, with a 2yr son of her own
DSs - 18 & 12
Posted By: BrainHurts Re: It's been forever! - 03/31/23 07:03 PM
Welcome back to MB. Why did you and your WH end up divorcing?
Posted By: Stacia_Lee Re: It's been forever! - 04/03/23 02:25 AM
Hi BH,
xH couldn't stop his affairs. He had one that nearly cost the life of our youngest son. We had separated and on one of his weekends, OW ran over my then 3-year-old son with her car, breaking his collarbone.
In another bad decision, we got back together for another 7 years, while I waited to be able to support myself and the kids. Also during that time, I managed to adopt my daughter.
He didn't want me working but I finally got a job and was able to move out with the kids.
Narcissism and controlling actions are difficult to break away from. We were married for 27 years.
Excuses are just that, excuses. As they say, Words are wind. It is actions that mean the most and I was finally able to see his lack of actions.

I have since met a wonderful man that is a polar opposite of my xH.
He is patient, hardworking and very loving. He looks at me the way that I always dreamed about. He puts US first. We met just before my divorce was finalized.

God knew I needed him, and he says that God knew he needed me.
I have never known anyone like him and I wouldn't change a thing!
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