hubby's excuse about birthcontrol - Marriage Builders® Forums

I was just wondering what some of your hubby's excuse for not using birth control during the EMA were. My hubby knew the OW wasn't using any, she never lied about it. he says they used acondom the first couple of times but then they just got"carried" away and he thought he could "pull out" in time. i get so mad because i am not one of the women who can say the OW "tricked" him. he was thoughtless and now he has tp pay for the rest of his life.

This is a wonderful topic for me. My H always says I have "baby fever". I love being pregnant and having the babies (thank God for relatively smooth births!) Anyway, I saw the title of the post and laughed...My H response? "I was stupid and arrogant." then..."She lied and said she had a hard time getting pregnant." When I asked recently why he didn't catch on when she called him to get it on every 3-4 weeks he reverts back to the "I was stupid and arrogant." What really got to me was he was so determined to NOT get me pregnant while our marriage was not 100%, we would either use condoms, or he would pull out, or he would make sure it wasn't around that time of possible conception (and the few times we slipped up he actually got pissed at himself for "being so stupid" or upset with me if I got moody b/c I wasn't pregnant) It just amazes me that he was so careful with his wife, but so carefree with a person he only knew for 2 months. That hurt and i still don't understand it. To top it all off, he finds out she is pregnant and then agrees to try to have one more of our own, another mystery for me!

whatif, She was on the pill until about 1 month befor the fatal day or night which ever it was. She told me she had went off it because of med reasons but failed to inform stupido of this. I had my tubes tied because after our last we didnt want anymore. I never would have thought mine could be so dumb. with love flowerseed[This message has been edited by flowerseed (edited May 22, 2001).]

I hate this part. XOW was supposedly using diaphram... and he thought that was good enough?! (we'll never know if preg. was on purpose) Plus the potential STDs he put us at risk for...! I could scream.

My H said he thought she was on the pill.I blasted him for being so stupid.UGH......oh well....Love, Debi------------------ Imagine....

THe entire time they were together ,they used the rhythmn method. He thought he was safe with that because she was very opposed tochildren and marriage. She had also had 3 or 4 abortions with other men. So he thought if they slipped up she would just abort.Sick I know. Anyway the time when she got pregnant h was drunk and ow was drunk and high on something.Both admitted this to me.But i know she did it intentionally because she knew that h was going to move back home. Sick,sick ,sick!!!

They were caught up in the moment being drunk and all. When they woke up in the car, she told him that she was on the pill. Isn't amazing how one time, and just that time it didn't work. Ya, right I believe that. She also told me that she was on the pill. Isn't ironic that I have been on the pill for over 11 years. And I only got pregnant once, when I wanted to, I was off the pill then. babstr.

she was supposedly on the pill he supposedly used condoms too

I wasn't concerned about STD's because I trusted him. However, I did not want to get pregnant, so I was taking the pill. Finding out I was pregnant was an earth-shattering moment, considering I had just found out he was married and had ended my relationship with him. A short time ago, mom and I were having a conversation about this and she advised me that her last 2 pregnancies occurred while she was on the pill. It's not my mother's fault in any way, but this late notice really irritated me. It never dawned on her that this little tidbit of medical history was pertinent to MY medical care. I told my sister right away. Our OB/GYN's prescribed a stronger dose pill...something so simple had such a major impact.

I got the ever popular, "she told me she was on the pill". He tried to say the condom broke but I know he is lying. We were also told that she was tracking her days on the calender. (Apparently not too good, cuz she didn't know who the dadyd was) It pisses me off the most that during that time we were using them so I didn't get pregnant. Then he finds out about it and gets me pregnant.

His Excuse: to depressed, angry, and most importantly to drunk to realize what he had done, then next day she claimed didn't need to worry, because she just had period. Her excuse: got PG w/ 1st time so didn't have to worry with the 2 other times it happened. UGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!WHAT A S#@!. Also-OW didn't tell him she was PG until later. I to told him what an idiot he had been not only for risking his own life, but also mine and that of our own unborn child.Yes, I feel he needs me to hit him with hard cold reality even after the fact! ivc[This message has been edited by IVC (edited May 23, 2001).]

H said that ow was using the bc that the doctor put in the arm under the skin. ****STUPID STUPID STUPID****I had two abortions because we did could not afford more children.The 2nd time I did not ask, because I knew he was stupid and the time from her having the first oc 10/26/98 to her having the 2nd oc 9/7/99 of she was on bc there was not way that it was in the body effectively.I came to the conclusion that my H was senseless, spiralless, and stupid, but most inportant STUPID.G&P

Can we hear it just one more time please!!!!!!"She said she was on the pill..."Above and beyond that H was in his ever-popular self destruct mode and didnt care.*sigh*

My H used condom that she supplied except once she said she was safe, ya sure anyway since she supplied the condoms and she wanted to get pregnant gee I wonder if you would notice a tiny hole or of course there is always the old pick the condom out of the garbage can thing, and since it was wham bam and out the door for H that is also a real possibility, she is a skanky whore who is at this momemt probably screwing one of her friends boyfriends!!!!

my H is actually very naive about the whole BC thing. i have always been the one to take care of me not getting pregnant. he has no idea how any of that stuff works. i have since explained it, but too late. plus, the "last time" when she came looking for him after he had ended affair, etc. since she had never become pregnant before, he didn't even think about it. he now knows she knew she could get pregnant then, and actually wanted to. so basically, stupidity. wish i could claim she said she used BC. or that he was drunk. might make it a little easier. his excuse for the whole PA was that he wasn't getting sex at home, and she would spread her legs. UGH. happy_girl

H gave me the usual .." she told me she was on the pill ". When I screamed at him about the possiblity of STDs his reply was, " I didn't worry about that, she is not that kind of girl " OH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!jtigger

My H told me he just figured she was taking care of it????? He didn't even think about it. Then he admits that a year ago (when they were just "friends") she was talking about adoption. (OW is single, 38)So, again, how can they be so STUPID???!!!!!!UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh Jtigger! tell me about it...that was my comeback too..what about stds? he claimed he told me that she was in the army and they had to be checked like once a year or some crap and I was like "so" its not like they kick them out if they have something so had did he know. You know he actually tried to tell me he had seen her medical records? Puleez! He was really stretching it. Sick sick sick!

Broken Wings,Is the OW still in the military? You could get her in major trouble for adultry if it is within 2 years. At least that's the way it is in the Navy. That's one think I have found amazing, they can get in trouble if they are in the military, but not if they are the President! Oh well, just goes to show the morals of this country.Tigger

Jtigger, As far as I know she is, but we dont have anything to do with her. My H was also in the military and was her superior so I am not so sure I could do a whole lot except possibly get her kicked out. If that happens I am afraid she would feel forced to come after us. I think the army is the only way she can support both her kids. Neither one was born with a "daddy". Believe me I sure thought about it though.

My H tells me in the begining of the relationship he was using condoms, he got careless. He's naive when it comes to birthcontrol. OW was in her mid thirties didn't have children of her own. I guess her biological clock was ticking. Maybe she thought is was time to settle down, with a baby and married man. It didn't work that way.

My H told me that he knew OW didn't use BC since she TOLD HIM SHE DIDN'T! But he said that he figured once they started having sex that she would get on some sort of BC. Plus she had an abortion several years ago so he also thought she would most likely have another abortion if she got pregnant. It is just unreal what he presumed. The OW is 32 and single. She obviously wanted children and saw my H as the way to do that, plus secure financing for the whole deal. He was so careless with the future of our family. That hurts so much. Carolyn

Mine husband fell for the "it's under control" story too. She said she had the implants in her arm. I asked H, if he asked to feel them. He said he didn't know you should be able to feel them through the skin. Why are they sooooo naive.We have yet to have a DNA test either. She was living with her boyfriend at the time of conception, but "claims" to have been using condoms with him regularly. So she's using condoms with a man she has two kids by, but not wearing them with a man she's known a couple of months. Can you say TRAP!He said that she had three kids already and surely wouldn't want to add another to her broad. Well hello, obviously she had no qualms about having children out of wedlock, she proved that three time before. What made him think that he'd be the exception.ahhhhhh, they are such dumb creatures these men that think with testosterone.------------------ Zebra Baby ...Lord, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Zebra, Did I understand you right paterenty was never proven? Are you guys paying her anything? I think the next time you guys have this child I would go get some test done. I would think you could do it without her even knowing. Wow I'm shocked! with love flowerseed

Here's another one! The OW is 35, single, and "Says" she was on the pill. How pathetic that our H's didn't care enough about us to use a condom - to make sure the ##$$!! didn't give US an STD - at this point I could care less if H had one. ... . (i've only know about A and OC for a little over a month - so if you feel my anger, you know why [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]

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