Marriage Builders
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Charlotte22's Thread - 10/25/07 01:01 PM
After 2 semi-confrontations: the first was when I had my suspicions confirmed about what was going on & it was still an EA then...as far as I know or could tell. That was back in June/July. We had another "talk" about 2 or 3 weeks ago but nothing much came out of that one.

So I decided to go ahead with the whole hog because I couldn't live this way anymore. I told him I knew about it and have known since the beginning. He kept asking to see my proof but I refused to show it to him. I told him that he knows what he is doing and so do I so I don't need to show him.

I wrote him a letter re: this. Everything was very calm; no shouting or anger. The only time I messed up was when he said he wanted to keep the letter and I grabbed it and threw it in the flowerbed. I apologized later and gave it back. He said he wanted to read it over some more times. I thought he probably wanted to talk it over with "her" and that's why I took it at first. And I told him why, too.

So I'm not sure what to do now...I know he talked to her last night and I'm sure he'll be talking to her plenty today. I told her H at the beginning of this but he was in major denial, even after I showed him correspondence. I'm sure he must have changed his mind by now since it has still been going on, but I'm not sure if I need to contact him again or what?

Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. Can someone please offer a little advice? This is the first time anything like this has happened to us, we USED to be exclusively exclusive & very tight.

I told him I didn't want there to be any lies between us anymore and if we were going to heal that there would have to be NC. He didn't reply to this, though.

Thanks in advance,

C
Charlotte

This is a journey now and here's the beginning.

Your WH:
Is having an A (either EA or PA or both)
He will lie
He will wonder how much you know
He will want to cake eat as long as possible
He is having needs met by both of you
As long as he is allowed to continue, he will

This is your part:
Time to expose the A to OWH again and any family member or friend that may have influence over him

Read this:

The Carrot and the Stick of Plan A

The carrot of Plan A


Meeting your wandering spouse's emotional needs.

Making "home" a warm and inviting place to be.

Placing emphasis on what has worked in the marriage.

Showing consistent self improvement in areas where previously lacking.

Stop lovebusting behaviors.

Communicating with a calm reassuring voice and relaxed body language, even in the center of a verbal storm created by the infidel.

Becoming the person any reasonable spouse would want to come home to.

Remaining open to the possibility of recovery.

Offering forgiveness and understanding.



The stick of Plan A


Exposing adultery where it matters most. Exposure that takes the form of a swift and sudden unexpected tsunami of truth.

Not appologizing for exposure or speaking the truth in a kind yet direct way.

Directly communicating the hurt and devastation that the affair has caused.

Not accepting blame for the infidel's choice to become adulterous.

Let the consequences of adultery and infidelity fall freely upon the heads of the adulterous.

Establishing boundaries that disallow the affair to effect children of the marriage, financal security of the marriage, and otherwise ruin innocent bystanders.

Standing up to infidelity as a beast that must be slayed for the good of the family.


Exposure is your strongest weapon against the A. Use it, and use it wisely. Do not tell him that you are going to do it, just do it. Expect more anger. Your M can survive his anger, but it cannot survive if he remains a WS.

Start a good plan A. If you can call the Harleys for advice. Read Surviving an Affair. You will learn the dynamics of affairs. They are all pretty much the same. The WS use the same script.

Your WH will try to rewrite history and put you in a bad light. He is trying to justify his actions to himself. He is probably addicted to the feelings of the A, not the OW. She could be anyone.

He has weaknesses that he did not protect. It is a slippery slope.

Keep coming here. Read, read, read.
Thank you, MicheleG. I have been reading a lot of different books and coming here a lot, trying to get some feel of what others are going through (not hard to do since the stories are nearly "cookie cutter" stories that vary in some details but the basic framework is the same.)

I have been trying really hard to detach somewhat so it wouldn't hurt so badly and also hoping his conscience might get to him before I had to bring out the "big guns," so to speak. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he either quit or I would have to go ahead with the rest of plan A. I have been doing the carrot part pretty good but not the stick part, except when I contacted the OWH.

I know he's not going to want to go NC with this person at this time so I'm trying to be really careful about who else needs to be told. Only 3 others know about what's going on, well, 4 if you cound a PI friend of mine but I haven't been in ongoing correspondence with him. The three that are actively updated are: my doctor (occasionally); my IC-weekly; and my sister-sporadically.

I am really scared. I know he still loves me in his own way and doesn't really want to leave because he needs me, even though he won't directly admit it. But the addiction is strong, as a lot are, and that's what's so scary.

Neither of us can really leave because of financial considerations...the only place he could maybe go would be to his brother's house. And he might decide to do that. I'M NOT leaving, however.

Deep down I think he knows that his situation with her is temporary but who knows what craziness he might resort to in the interim? He was basically unchallenged before, except for the two semi-confrontations and last night's big one.

I got the "talk" the first time I contacted the OWH...H threatened to walk out and I'd never see him again, etc. I also got the "it will hurt my feelings if you don't believe me" speech back then as well.

Also, someone from work called HR on them and I guess his boss talked to him & her boss talked to her. I was blamed for this, of course. At any rate they seem to be very lax about what goes on in that workplace since most of the time H spends with OW is at the office. I know they go places but it's so far been limited to during working hours and some late "working" hours & sometimes "working" on the weekend. (Yeah, and I'm the king of Siam. Or queen.)

Anyway, I'm sure there will be plenty of discussion about this between the two of them today at work. Makes me ill. And I have to go see a surgeon today to find out if I'll need surgery on an injury sustained when I was trying to help H a few months ago. He asked me to call when I find out what's what. Well, at least he still cares if I'm dead or alive.

Thanks again,

C
Welcome. Contact the OW's husband again, and offer more proof. Also expose the affair at work since it is continuing. Let hubby's friends and family know what he is up to.

Think of him as an addict who has to get his fix. He will do whatever he can to get it.

You can make changes in yourself, especially anything he complained about BEFORE the affair. Stay calm and cheerful.
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Also, someone from work called HR on them and I guess his boss talked to him & her boss talked to her.

This will be hard, but you should also call his boss. Nuclear exposure.And expect his anger. But calmly react to it, like in the carrot and the stick. You are not sorry for exposing.

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I am really scared.

We have all been here. What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Ending this A is your first priority.

Your WH will lie, play guilt trips on you, do anything and everything he can to get his fix and keep you in the wings. He will look you straight in the eye, with loving arms around you and LIE. Do not believe a word. You will need to let his angry words roll off your back and stick to your guns. Your goal is getting this A to end.
Welcome MichelleG,

I gave in to the fear and shame and did not expose. D was final 8/30/07.
Hi Bellevue,

Thank you for sharing that. I'm sorry things didn't work out for you. (((Bellevue))) I have no idea if things will work out for us or just me at this point but I am gaining courage each time I come here & see everyone's stories.

I didn't really expect the reaction I got last night. I thought either H or myself would end up leaving for the night to sleep elsewhere. I didn't want to do that myself, I thought that he might go, but he didn't.

He was talking about how I "blindsided" him with this information. It would be funny if it weren't so tragic. I blindsided HIM? Anyway, I guess we'll see what happens after he comes home from work tonight. If he's willing to talk about us.

I just don't want to screw this up now so I'm frightened about what's next. I plan on calling OWH tomorrow since I have to go see a surgeon today. I'm trying to think of what I need to say when I call H's boss, I'm not sure how to frame it.

As far as OWH, I'm going to tell him AGAIN & see if his reaction is any different this time. I will encourage him to come to this site, if he hasn't already done so. I suspect he might be in the same place I was before last night...waiting for the A to end.

Thanks again, Bellevue and if anyone can help me with the next step, please share your wisdom!

C.
Another question for anyone here:

Do I need to contact the OW again myself? The first time I did it I sent an email with just a few lines stating my position, etc. I did NOT use any profanity or anything like that. It was cordial. I'm sure that she made a big thing out of it like it was a threat or something, though. Also, H saw it because I let him read it at the time. I'm sure they had a lot of fun discussing that one & dissing me.

Anyway, do I do this? Or should I wait to see if he is open (or at least SAYS he is) to NC with a letter, etc.? This is tough since they work in the same building, but different sections.

Thanks,

C.
edited to add:

If you go the exposure route, here's what to remember:
Do not warn him ahead of time.
Organize your call list, your email list, and the mailing addresses of people with power at their job.
Organize your call list, your email list, of family members and anyone who came to your wedding who believes in fidelity. And also anyone who doesn't believe in fidelity.
Expose all at once.

Exposure message should read:

I know that WH is having an affair with OW. I am exposing their affair to end it. I love my H and I want to keep our marriage together. Affairs thrive in secrecy. If you have any influence with WH or with OW I ask that you let them know you disapprove of their behavior and urge them to end the affair and go home to reconcile their own marriages.


The effective tool you can use is to contact the HR dept at their job and expose the affair. people here have written suggested letters. Some companies have weak policies about fraternization; others are very strongly opposed to employees using company resources to further their affairs. With sex harrassment lawsuits in recent years, management can be skittish about what goes on in working hours.

Are you willing to go the route of informing H's supervisor and all the way up to the top of the company? And informing the OW's supervisor etc?

You know, don't you, that he will be angry if you expose and tell you that "Now you've done it, I can never trust you again! The marriage is over. You've hurt me and you have hurt an innocent woman (!) with your evil mind."

Or any variation of that,

such anger is to be expected.

A "pretty please" email to the OW will not work.

(((Charlotte22)))

Oh, I was also afraid of what could happen to my H's career, which is one reason I didn't expose. In hindsight, I believe his career would not have ended. He is so good at what he does that even had he been let go, headhunters would have been courting him.
Thank you, Bellevue. I was so unsure about what wording I should use. Do you think emails to superiors are better than speaking with them on the phone? I know his direct supervisor but I'm not sure of the ones above him since there was some revamping done in the company. I don't know her direct supervisor. The HR department is at another location but I'm sure I can find the right numbers to call. I know he will be p*ssed, he was really p*ssed the last time after I called the OWH and even after I returned a call to OWH after OWH called me but did not leave a message.

I guess I'll just have to grit my teeth and go for it.

C.
Charlotte

If you have a number for the boss, I'd call. That way they hear a SANE, CALM woman who is trying to save her M, not some crazy weirdo sending out mass emails. I think it will make it more personal to them.

I would basically say that WH is having an A with OW. That you want to try to recover your M and would appreciate any assistance from them to separate them in the workplace. You know for a fact that an A cannot end if there is continued contact...something along those lines. Try to stay logical and unemotional, at least not freaked.

Bellevue, I'm not sure I would expose to everyone on her wedding list. Mainly people who have influence over him would be better. If or when the A ends and recovery begins, mass exposure like that can cause unnecessary trouble. Just my .02.

Charlotte,
Don't bother with the OW. She doesn't care about you. You are the enemy. Nothing good comes from talking with her. She will lie and tell truths so that they are painful to you. Don't waste your time.

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He was talking about how I "blindsided" him with this information

Don't pay any mind to what he says when he's trying to divert your attention. He is not your H right now, he's not your friend, he is a WS. You have a goal and you are calmly going to attain it. Steady.

Expose

Plan A
Please take this from someone in a very large corporation whose job it is to investigate allegations by or against company employees, including allegations that an employee is involved in an affair. Most employers will take the position that it is none of the employer's business and they will not get involved unless you can tie it directly to the workplace. What does that mean? If the WS and OP work together or for the same employer, you point out that the employer is at extremely high risk for a sexual harassment claim from other employees if it offends them and creates a hostile work environment or from your WS or the OP when one of them ends the A and the other does not want it to end. Regardless of whether the WS and OP work together, another way to get the employer's attention (and if they don't work together, make sure to notify both of their employers) is to point out that the two are using excessive amounts of company time and resources to carry on their A. This will cause the employer to investigate to protect their assets - you have to appeal to their bottom line and that bottom line is $$$$. Just telling them about the A probably won't.

Regards,

BB
BTW - letters are FAR more effective that phone calls unless the employer has a ethics and/or compliance/whistleblower hotline/helpline.
On that note Brit, I'd agree...a letter...in writing. It's documented.
Michelle, of course Charlotte knows best whom to expose to. The wedding list thing was a bit of a joke and an exaggeration, however, in our case there were only 16 guests at the wedding, wouldn't have been so nuclear.

Charlotte, read everything we post, especially when we disagree with each other, because you will get many intelligent points of view. Michelle's post counsels moderation, and she probably is right.

Where you do want tons of exposure is work.

Good luck.
Bellevue, agreed. I had over a hundred at my wedding. And to this day, my own family doesn't know. I am glad that they were not told. Most of them would have wanted me to kick him to the curb. They would not have supported my M had they found out. My step sister told our family when her H cheated and the R's have never been the same.

Just a thought Charlotte to keep in mind.
Well, my H will be home soon. I talked to him twice on the phone today & he sounded normal. I have no idea what he's going to say when he gets here or what I should say. I know I need to avoid any LB's and that is a big goal of mine.

Thanks to all of you for helping and if there's anything else anyone can add to help I'd appreciate it a whooooooole lot!

Thank you,

C.
Well, H won't discuss anything (re: our M, his A, the letter I wrote him) tonight. He says he needs to read the letter over again, etc.

I tried for a while, then I had to walk out & took a short drive. When I came back I apologized for being so pushy about it and said that I understood that he's had a hard day & needs to unwind, etc., but that we can't avoid the elephant in the room forever.

C.
Sounds like your WH is a fence-sitter. I don't think anything you do will work as long as he works w/ OW. I think the best thing to do if he refuses to find another job is to do a nuclear exposure to his family and everyone at work, so the two of them will feel ashamed to work together with all the disapproving eyes looking over them, so hopefully one of them leaves. If they don't leave, kick him out of the house and go to plan B. He'll b!tch and moan for a few months afterwards, but after several months of NC, he'll get over it as long as you are focused on meeting his ENs and avoiding LBs.
Well, I'm trying to work up the courage for more exposure. I won't be able to talk to his boss today because he will be at their location instead of the main location. I will have to shoot for Monday on that one unless I just leave him a voicemail.

Part of me is just so fed up that I feel like packing a bag and leaving him a "Dear John" letter, then going somewhere that he can't find me.

I'm trying to be strong and NOT do this. I know it would shake him up, though. I think I really did surprise him the other night even though I was flip about it in a previous post. I guess maybe he didn't think I had the nerve to confront him? Who knows?
Charlotte, I wouldn't concern myself so much with what HE SAYS right now or how you say your words. In order to understand the mentality of a person in an affair, you should liken him to a falling down drunk. So, it really doesn't matter what he SAYS, but what he DOES.

More importantly, he needs to hear what YOU SAY, because you are the aggrieved party.

I would suggest that you do as BritsBrat suggested and send a LETTER instead of calling. They can't ignore a letter with cc's on it, they can ignore a phone call and blow you off. I would send a letter to both their bosses, the head of Human Resources and the company Vice President. Carbon copy each person on the letter so they all know the other has read it.

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I guess maybe he didn't think I had the nerve to confront him? Who knows?

That is very odd. Why would he be surprised?

Secondly, I would suggest that you sit down and expose this affair to everyone so that you treat the infidels to a TSUNAMI instead of a spit bath. Afterwards, I would ask him again to end his affair by sending her a no contact letter and quitting his job immediately. Tell him this is the only way your marriage will survive, otherwise, you will need to seperate. If he doesn't, you should prepare to seperate and go into Plan B.

Targets for exposure should be his parents, your parents, siblings, her H, her parents, anyone else close to your family. I would do this on the same day as the workplace exposure.
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Well, I'm trying to work up the courage for more exposure

Feelings FOLLOW ACTIONS, not the other way around. Courage is a DECISION TO ACT, not a nebulous feeling that comes out of nowhere.
Hi MelodyLane,

Thanks for the advice. I'm trying to decide which people it would be best to expose this disgusting adultery to. Work for sure, OWH for sure...not sure about his dad & bro (his mom passed away a few years ago, but boy, wouldn't she be proud of him today?), my sister already knows...we don't see his side of the family very often except for the kid that lives in the same town as we do. Not sure it would be of any use to tell his dad since they have such a distant relationship. He has a better relationship with his bro but it's still not very close. However, if he walks out after the tsunami his bro is probably going to be the place he goes. His bro was extremely close to their mom & watched her suffer when their dad walked out on her some years ago...they got back together later so there were a few years she got to spend with the love of her life since she was pining away for him for so long. His dad had remarried but of course found out that W2 was not a very nice person & he finally left her & moved back to TX.

I know H wasn't happy about the situation either since he was so dyed-in-the-wool against cheating. Of course that was until he made the decision to go that route himself.

I often wonder if the two similarities ever surface in his mind.

I know that I MUST take these actions and am trying very hard to prepare. He hasn't been cruel except for the things he said way back in the beginning; i.e.-"You're crazy; That's crazy talk; If you call OWH again you'll never see me again", etc.

He is generally slow to anger but I'm aware that this could cause a nuclear meltdown of rage because I'm attempting to interfere with him and his favorite "toy". Well, not attempting...I AM. I just keep rehearsing the words over & over so I can say that I love him & I'm not trying to hurt him but I am trying to save our marriage, that it's not some form of revenge that I'm exposing the ADULTERY. As far as his boss & OWH, well, they already have been told so it's not like they don't know or at least have an inkling.

I'm also trying to prepare for him walking out. He can't stay with her and her H so that leaves his bro and possibly his dad. Even though he doesn't get along with his dad so great, there's still a possibility that he might go there. Until his dad drives him up the wall.

In a way, I guess that it could possibly be a good sign that he didn't leave already. I was sure at least one of us would be walking out the other night. I thought he might leave then. Well, whatever happens, I'm going to prepare as much as I can mentally. I'm trying to get really p.o'ed so I can be strong and do the exposure. The only way to do that is to think about them together and what's being said and what's been said about me between them. And I'm sure that they have plans to meet at some point today. Never miss an opportunity...yep.

I'll sign-off for now but please keep the words of wisdom coming, all you great folks here!

C.
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I'm trying to get really p.o'ed so I can be strong and do the exposure.

Charlotte, that is exactly when you SHOULD NOT do it! It should be done in a calm, strategic, decisive manner. It is a DECISION, not an emotional reaction. You are still waiting for a MAGICAL, mythical feeling of COURAGE to come attack you! That is not how it works! Courage is a DECISION, not a feeling! Do it because it is the right thing for your husband and for your marriage. It doesn't matter why he thinks you did it and you will not be able to reason with him so there is no use in even trying.

I would make a plan now to send that letter to your H's workplace and to make phone call exposures for the day it arrives. That way it all happens at once and is a huge surprise to the affairees.

I would also suggest that you speak to his father and his siblings. Ask his father to speak to him on your behalf. Ask for his advice. Just because they are not close does not matter.

I would also plan on calling the OW's parents. I think it is very noteworthy that your H has manipulated you into not calling the OWH - for GOOD REASON. He doesn't want the interference, no doubt.

But, it should not be done because you are ANGRY, but because you want to help your H. Make a DECISION, Charlotte!
Char,

I wouldn't be surprised if it was the OW's H who exposed at their work the first time around - even though he acted all nonchalant to you, you can bet he gave some thought to your call.

Give him a call - see what happens after that. Don't be shocked if your WH comes home again and says somebody called HR. Of course, you should also do your part in letting HR know. And the letter is the best way - they are hard to "hide" - documentation has a way of hanging around and haunting people, making them think about lawsuits. Phone calls, not so much.

Don't worry about making your husband angry. He will be angry either way - angry that he has to give up OW, angry that you know about his affair, angry that the OW is griping at him because you called her H. Your WH will feel like "you" messed up his life by calling him on his bad behavior - whether or not you expose.

But exposure does something all the talking in the world cannot do.

It sheds light on the secret.

And the secrecy is what keeps their "fantasy love" alive.

See, this whole idea of their relationship is that nobody understands them like they do each other, that no one else can know of their love, because this is the one true thing, and to let others in...well....that would just change the perfection of it. It works well because it belongs only to us, our secret, our love....PUKE.

Once you turn on those spotlights, baby, that whole crappaganza becomes too real.

No more "la-la-land". The consequences of their behavior starts to cave in on them, and their "true and secret love" becomes more of a burden, and they see each other as extra weight. It's often "every man (or OM/OW) for himself" and they jump ship and go home where they know they should have been all along. They go through withdrawals, and they come out of the fog.

So think of exposure as a giant spotlight, that will outshine their fantasy.

And get your plan in place, strike without warning, and when he comes home mad at you, be prepared with your answer.

I love you, and want our marriage to work. I had to ask for the help of my friends and family in this, because I know I can't do it alone. I'm working on ways to make myself and my approach to our relationship better, and I hope that I can do my part to make our marriage a better place for you. I know that if you and I work together, we can get through this, and come out the other end with a stronger marriage. I hope that once you're over your anger, you will see that I love you, and want us to work.

Don't buy into his anger. Keep repeating that you want to save your marriage, that you asked for help from your friends. Make sure your exposure message involves a request for help, and that you want to save your marriage, so that you are consistent in your message to him.

And read up on Plan A - both the carrot and the stick, and hang in there.

SB
Hi Melody,

Thanks for your reply. I don't intend to be angry when I do the major exposure, I'm just trying to use it to psych myself up for the ordeal. I've been pretty good at staying calm & not having any outbursts when talking to H. I even surprised myself with that! I believe it surprised the heck out of him, too. He was probably expecting a reaction much like the one that happened at the very beginning. I'm stronger now, though & am getting stronger still...even though there are those moments when sadness sets in. I had to go to the doctor yesterday and one of the techs was so nice to me I started crying. Not that H has been mean or anything like that.

I'm determined to do this, I MUST do this...I know it's the best thing if our M has the best chance. I'm thankful for all of the support here...it's really keeping me focused and helping solidify the determination.

Thanks again & have a great weekend!

C.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine OK, next question... - 10/27/07 04:35 AM
I was on another site and mentioned what I was trying to do and boy....they were like a swarm of mosquitos near a stagnant pond. Why do you want to tell OWH & hurt someone else? What do you hope to gain? It's none of your business. Work on yourself. Your M is between you & your H...

and on and on.

This is not helping me any. Now I'm getting freaky about exposing...
Posted By: believer Re: OK, next question... - 10/27/07 04:47 AM
Charlotte -

I used to post on several sites, and mostly read here. In fact, I thought the folks here were sugar plucking insane! But over the months, I started noticing that the people on the other sites were still stuck in a rut, not recovering their marriages. Time after time, I saw the stuff here WORKING. That is when I started posting on MB.

Although I'm divorced now, I came very close to saving the marriage. In fact, my ex wanted to get back together, but I was DONE. The affair ended just 2 weeks after our divorce was final, and my ex is kicking himself now.

So give the plans here a try. While not guaranteed, the success rate here is very good.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: OK, next question... - 10/27/07 05:00 AM
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I was on another site and mentioned what I was trying to do and boy....they were like a swarm of mosquitos near a stagnant pond. Why do you want to tell OWH & hurt someone else? What do you hope to gain? It's none of your business. Work on yourself. Your M is between you & your H...

and on and on.

This is not helping me any. Now I'm getting freaky about exposing...

Charlotte...

You can visit as many sites as you would like...Ultimately this IS your decision of course...Allow me to tell you why I think you should listen to the advice that you are getting here at Marriage Builders...Back in May, Mr. W and I attended a Marriage Builders weekend and then had the privilege of having dinner with Dr. Harley, his wife Joyce and their son Steve Harley and his wife...We discussed many things that evening, and eventually the topic of other sites came up and the thing that Steve was able to point out to us about all of the others out there is that none of them seem to have a PLAN for Marital Recovery...Most other sites offer only commiseration-which, you know, only keeps you bound in misery with others...you know the old saying, "misery LOVES company"...See MB offers PLANS for not only busting up affairs, but also the recovery of stronger, better and more fulfilling marriages...Those plans are based on Dr. Harley's 35 years of experience as a trained psychologist...He has saved THOUSANDS of marriages...So basically Charlotte, what I am telling you is that Marriage Builders IS the fastest horse around, and while the fastest horse may not always win the race, it sure is the smartest one to bet on...Wouldn't you agree??? I know Mr. W and I sure do and we are a Marriage Builders success story...

Best,

Mrs. W

P.S. Out of curiosity, the site that you visited, was it even an infidelity forum?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: OK, next question... - 10/27/07 02:37 PM
Thank you, believer & Mrs. Wondering.

The site was one of the midlife crisis sites.

After this a.m. I know I must go through with exposure. H is planning on going to "work" as he informed me last night & we know what that means. He still denies everything. I got a little hot under the collar with him this morning but I tried to hold it together as best I could.

I even asked if I could go with him to work & help out. He of course didn't like the idea but he said I could if I didn't talk in the car on the way there. Talk about this nonsense or whatever words he used to that effect.

I could tell he was pissed but he managed to give me a kiss before leaving for the doctor's office...he is going to an urgent care clinic in our town (very small town.)

So should I just say nevermind and let him go to "work?" I'm sure if he doesn't go today he'll make up some excuse to go tomorrow.

I don't really want to go, just want to curl up into a little ball and disappear...but I'm unsure as to what to do. I'm trying so hard not to do any love busters but sometimes some slip out anyway.

Suggestions? Please?

C.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: OK, next question... - 10/27/07 02:54 PM
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I was on another site and mentioned what I was trying to do and boy....they were like a swarm of mosquitos near a stagnant pond. Why do you want to tell OWH & hurt someone else? What do you hope to gain? It's none of your business. Work on yourself. Your M is between you & your H...

It doesn't sound like they were very bright folks. Lets just think about what they said. Is the affair only between you and your H? Of course not. There is another marriage involved. It is between you, the other BS and the affairees.

Secondly, is the OWH hurt by the affair or is he hurt by the truth? If my bookkeeper was embezzling money from me and the police told me, should I get mad at the police for "hurting me" or should I be mad at my bookkeeper for stealing from me? Wouldn't that be silly to say that it was the POLICE who harmed me rather the real culprit?

I think the notion that it is "harmful" to tell someone they are a victim of adultery must have been invented by a wayward mind because it is such loony logic. Unfortunately, the non-thinking types have adopted this bumper sticker philosophy of life and persist in parroting it, thinking it makes them sound clever when they are actually fools.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 03:08 PM
Now I'm trying to decide what to do about H "working" today. Of course he said I could go (as I mentioned in an earlier post) but he also said he would stay if I leave the house for the day. I told him I'm not leaving the house. I know that even if I DO go along that he'll find some excuse to work tomorrow or something. But if I tell him to just go...am I condoning it because I know they are going to get together?

I don't know what to do...

I suppose I could let him go & call her H to expose yet again but I wouldn't be able to contact his boss today & it's advised that it should be done all at once, so I'm stuck there, too.

I wish her H would (dammit!) follow her and confront them himself. I met him before and he seems like a take charge kinda guy. Of course in these situations even those that seem the strongest turn into a mass of quivering blubber...when we find the one we love has been unfaithful.

C.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:13 PM
Wait, he said you can go to work today with him but he will stay home if you go? That doesn't make sense.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:18 PM
Quote
I wish her H would (dammit!) follow her and confront them himself. I met him before and he seems like a take charge kinda guy. Of course in these situations even those that seem the strongest turn into a mass of quivering blubber...when we find the one we love has been unfaithful.C.

Why not join the affairees and then call the OWH from the tryst site and inform him about the meeting? This is what I would do. Your H is amazingly BRAZEN with his affair and I suspect it is becuase you do nothing, Charlotte.

If my H was out with an OW I can't imagine going on an internet forum and chatting about it! I would BE RIGHT THERE!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:18 PM
COURAGE IS A DECISION. Make a DECISION to be COURAGEOUS. Stop choosing to be a DOORMAT and a WIMP.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:20 PM
Melody, wish I was like you....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:31 PM
No, he said I could go (reluctantly said, that is) but I could not talk about "this issue" in the car on the way there. I guess I can talk about trivial things (?)

If I go with him she is NOT going to show up. I'm sure that they'll file that away in their little arsenal to use against me and talk trash.

I decided to tell him to go ahead and go because I know that he will end up going tomorrow anyway. And I'll just stay here and fret until he gets home. I don't even feel like horseback riding today to take my mind away from this crap.

C.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:34 PM
And why wouldn't you go surprise the affairees, Charlotte?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:36 PM
Quote
No, he said I could go (reluctantly said, that is) but I could not talk about "this issue" in the car on the way there. I guess I can talk about trivial things (?)

Are you a child or a WOMAN? Why is your H telling a GROWN WOMAN what she can and can't say? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Why are you acting like a child who needs her poppa daddy's permission to do something?
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks Melody... - 10/27/07 04:38 PM
Charlotte...

I agree with Mel...Stop sitting there and taking it!!! Get your butt in the car, armed with the OWH's phone number and your cell phone...GO THERE...When you see that they are there together CALL the OWH and have him meet you there...The two of you bust in the door and put an end to this nonsense...Seriously...Use my favorite line from a movie even, when you walk in and bust them say, "I'm here to chew bubblegum and kick [censored], and I'm all outta bubblegum!" DON'T TAKE THIS LYING DOWN...FIGHT CHARLOTTE FIGHT!!!

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 04:55 PM
But the thing is, if I go with him we'll be in the same vehicle and OW will not show up because I know she'll be warned ahead of time...probably already has been.

I don't let people decide what I want to talk about-he didn't want to discuss his adultery in the car on the way there...oh how he hates it when I put it in the category in which it belongs: infidelity-adultery-affair...all of those things he used to be so vehemently opposed to.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 05:05 PM
Quote
But the thing is, if I go with him we'll be in the same vehicle and OW will not show up because I know she'll be warned ahead of time...probably already has been.

Can you think of another way to catch them in the act?
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 05:57 PM
Charlotte...

Call the OWH, tell him and then see if he will come and pick you up and the two of you go bust them together...The two of you can be very strong allies...JOIN FORCES and FIGHT THIS!!! PLEASE...

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 08:32 PM
I can't find my last post so here it goes again:

He finally left to go to "work." I called OWH and pretended to be someone else and of course she's not home! He offered to take my number for a return call but I thanked him and said I'd call back. I think he knew it was probably me. Poor guy sounded so sad. I wanted to talk to him about everything right then but I must wait until Monday.

Is there any way out of this ******?

There would be no point in me driving over there...I'm sure they probably won't stay in the area since I've already told him I know they have their trysts at the office much of the time.

Enterprise...please beam me up!

Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks to all of you who have given such good advice. I cried a lot this morning. I'm trying not to get into that mode so I can be strong when he gets back.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 08:40 PM
Charlotte...

While the all in one fell swoop idea is a good one, it does NOT mean that it all HAS to be done on the same day...You can and should call OWH back TODAY and tell him who you are and EXPOSE...JOIN FORCES...Your exposure on Monday will still have the same effect...Trust me, the affair can't recover from the damage between Saturday and Monday-That would still be considered "one fell swoop" in my book...Get the affair on the ropes NOW and then go in for the complete kill...

Mrs. W
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 09:19 PM
Mrs. W is correct. Call the OW's husband, and talk to him about the affair. You can expose to work Monday. But start EXPOSING it so it will die. You are just letting it get entrenched.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 09:25 PM
Quote
He finally left to go to "work." I called OWH and pretended to be someone else and of course she's not home! He offered to take my number for a return call but I thanked him and said I'd call back. I think he knew it was probably me. Poor guy sounded so sad. I wanted to talk to him about everything right then but I must wait until Monday.

No, you don't have to wait until Monday. Call the man back, tell him about the affair and offer to meet him over there to have a talk with the infidels. C'mon, Charlotte, lets get moving here! Stop with the conflict avoiding!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 09:51 PM
Well, I called H and told him I'd be there in an hour so I'm betting that OW has already left the premisis. I could try to call OWH back but if she's on the way back to their home then I may not have time to talk to him. I wanted to try and direct him to MB so he can study this site and read about some of the other "situations." I'm just hoping he doesn't fly off the handle because the first time I talked to him there was a veiled threat about violence. I don't know if he'd actually do it but I know they both carry weapons.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 09:59 PM
Charlotte...CALL OWH NOW!!! Stop impeding yourself and get this done!!!

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 10:23 PM
I would but it's too late to call him now.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 10:28 PM
Charlotte...

You can talk to him with OW there...Just ask to speak to him if she answers...Dial *67 before you call to disguise your number...There is no rule that says she can't be there when you speak to him...Stop doing this mindless conflict avoidance dance and call him!!!

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 10:35 PM
Thanks Mrs. Wondering. I would but I just can't do anymore today. I need to recharge before I take on this task.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 10:41 PM
Charlotte...I understand that this is a devastating situation to be in, but the longer you sit and wallow in inaction the more entrenched the affair will become...I want very much for you to take the control of your life back...Do this for yourself...I so want you to fight this Charlotte...Heck, I actually want to fight it for you, but alas I cannot and I am BEGGING you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and kill this affair...

Courage is in the doing Charlotte...

Mrs. W
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 11:10 PM
Quote
Well, I called H and told him I'd be there in an hour so I'm betting that OW has already left the premisis.

Why did you warn him? Why did you just blow this deal, Charlotte? You had a chance to bust him and just threw it away.

You're not serious at all about busting up this affair, are you?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/27/07 11:13 PM
Quote
Courage is in the doing Charlotte...

Mrs. W

She's not serious, MrsW. She is purposely sabatoging every opportunity so she won't have to deal with it.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 12:51 AM
Yes Mel, I fear that you are correct...

Charlotte...Did you even go to your husband's office or did you just call and say that in an effort to manipulate the affair? Because that will not work...The affair beast will continue to get stronger and stronger that way-you are simply playing the same game that the infidels are playing and feeding the drama of the affair...All while making yourself appear needy and desperate...Your ONLY hope in doing damage to the affair is EXPOSURE...What I'm not sure that you understand is that right now, you have LOST your husband...He is GONE...You have nothing to LOSE by exposing...Do you understand that?

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 04:10 AM
Thanks. I'm aware of all of the above and I understand that I cannot depend on the way we used to be when he was my loving spouse. I will be exposing but just as it is with a lot of things...sometimes you have to psych yourself up for it and prepare mentally, knowing that the onslaught of anger & blame will fall squarely on your head from a spouse's POV...not because it is all your fault.

As I type he is in his radio room talking to her. I'm sure that there's plenty of crap being hurled in my direction and I'm trying hard not to care even though it hurts so badly.

C.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 04:54 AM
Charlotte - I forgot - do you have children? Does the OW have children? How long have you been married?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:02 AM
Hi believer,

We have 3 but they are my stepchildren. We had been working on one of our own not long before the s*** hit the fan.

On November 22 it will be our 14 1/2 year anniversary. We were together a year or more before that, though.

Everything just seems so hopeless right now. I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst. And yet, I'm the scapegoat for two people trying to make themselves feel better about being adulterers.

What a world, what a world...
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:04 AM
What happened between his ex and he?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:16 AM
hi believer,

She's bi-polar but never sought any help for this and so isn't on meds to this day. After he left the kids took the brunt of her rages. He tried to help with CPS but they told him they couldn't do anything about it. And that was even with a teacher for corroboration (sp?)

C.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:26 AM
And he never cheated on her? And they were divorced before you met him?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:46 AM
No and yes. They'd been divorced for about 5 years before we got together.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 05:54 AM
I'm hopeful about your situation. I know you are miserable now. But hang in there. You still need to expose, and in the meantime do an excellent Plan A. That would include having a warm and welcoming home, looking good, being cheerful, and calm.

He is probably getting warmth, validation and admiration from the OW (the b*tch, too bad she can't do that for her sick husband), so that is what you will need to double up on. Also look at anything he complained about BEFORE the affair, and start working on changing it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 06:04 AM
Hi believer,

Thank you. I have been working on our home to make it a more relaxing and welcome place & I've been doing a lot of cooking & baking, two things I really enjoy that I'd gotten out of the habit of doing when I was going through my depression. I've been working on anything he complained about before, too. Of course he throws it up in my face if I try to talk to him about OW. I've been doing all of that for at least 5 or 6 months...hoping...as I'm sure many others do...that the affair would end on its own. So I've been doing the "carrot" really well. And it wasn't all for him, either. It was to make me feel better and work on things I could control since obviously I can't control this situation. I don't want to control HIM, just want the cheating to stop. Like everyone else here and elsewhere.

Thank you for having such hope for me. I talked to my sister today and she even felt that there was hope for us. I hope both of you are correct but the light at the end of the tunnel is very dim. I've been trying to stay positive and focus on the main goal but today was not so great. I guess exposure day will be even worse. I don't know how I'm going to hold it together if he walks out. I know this is a good possibility since he'll be superbly pissed.

C.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 06:12 AM
Don't worry about it. They all get superbly pissed. You just let them know that you will do what it takes to save the marriage.

Good that you are doing a great Plan A. That is essential in case you need to go to Plan B. So try to keep it up for another month or so. And don't forget the exposure.

I'm going to bed, so I'll see you tomorrow. Hang in there, and keep being strong. The odds are in your favor that he will come back to the marriage.

I WOULD let him know that it is hurtful to you when he chats with the OW from your home. Don't argue though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 06:16 AM
Thanks again, believer.

I'll keep it up...I just hope that he'll be here and not take off after the exposure tsunami but I know there are no guarantees.

Thank you so much for your support. It makes me all teary-eyed. I think I'm outta tears for today...probably not, though, since tears come from the endless well of pain.

Take care,

C.
Posted By: Miss M Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 07:01 AM
Charlotte,

You are doing an awesome job.

My only advice is that you not mention ow. If you must say something, just say that it really hurts you when WS talks to ow at your home, ask that he do it elsewhere, and say it calmly, without emotion. If WS reacts, do not respond.

As for exposure, just CALMLY state that you are trying to save your marriage, and enlisting help for it.

Remember, step back and think of what is healthiest for you, marriage, etc, BEFORE you respond to anything your WS says.

God Bless and you are the best. Prayers out for you Charlotte. Keep focused, do what these wonderful people tell you, and leave the rest up to God. You can't change your WS, you can only change yourself, and how you deal with this.

You are getting awesome help, believer and MelodyLane being two of the best here!

Bless you,

Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/28/07 02:27 PM
Charlotte, if you decide to stop enabling his affair and take some action here, give me a shout out and I will help you. But I won't help you contribute to your own demise. I won't come here and give you atta-girls for enabling your husbands affair. You want to save your marriage, you will have to do some work. And I don't mean sitting around crying.

Remember, courage is a DECISION, not a magic feeling that lands on some and not on others. We ALL have the ability to make a DECISION. I will be here when you are ready to do some real work.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Back again, sad but determined... - 10/28/07 03:55 PM
Thank you Miss M and Melody.

Exposure will commence tomorrow. If he leaves to go see AP today, then today I will be calling OWH again. And this time I will tell all. If he still wants to live with the way things are...well, that's his business. I'm not living in limbo any longer. I know everything seems so hopeless. I'm trying to stay positive & hope for the best. I know he's going to be pissed and I can't help that...I'll just try to make like a duck so anything he says slides off my back.

If he leaves after exposure do I need to change the locks?

M.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Back again, sad but determined... - 10/28/07 04:10 PM
Charlotte, in addition to calling the OWH, I would suggest following your H and confronting the affairees together. Ideally, the OWH could come with you.
Posted By: schoolbus Re: Back again, sad but determined... - 10/28/07 04:16 PM
Char,

If you change the locks, you basically are telling him he is not wanted in your home.

Is that what you want?

Or do you want to save your marriage?

Be sure that you expose because you want to save the marriage, not because you are angry. There is a difference.


Exposure is to stop the affair.
You expose because affairs thrive in secrecy.
You expose to ask other people to support you.
You expose to ask other people to put pressure on your WH to stop his behavior.

You don't expose because you think it is a weapon of anger. That will backfire.

Keep your message clear about exposure:

"I love you. Our marriage needs support. Your affair needs to stop, and I need the support of our family and friends to help us recover this marriage. You need to stop seeing the OW. The only way that can happen is if your affair is exposed to everyone who can help support our MARRIAGE. We need the love and support of people who support marriage, and the only way I can see to do that is to ask for help. I asked. We need help. Our marriage is in trouble, and we need help to save it. Who better to support us than our friends and family - people who love us?"

Keep it clear, Char. You don't expose for revenge. You expose for support, and because affairs don't do well in the light of day. Because the consequences are there. Because the judgement of others is there. And because the fantasy is NOT THERE.

And no, don't change the locks.
Thank you, schoolbus.

I'm not exposing for revenge but to let the light shine underneath the dark, dank rock where dangerous things grow. I was just unsure about that part and I don't want to screw things up. I don't care about the possessions, those can always be replaced, except for photos, etc. Thank you also for the script...there are a couple of others who contributed a script, too and every little bit will help. I'm good with words but when doing something like this I have a hard time thinking about the right words to say even though I know what they are supposed to be.

And Melody-I'll try to get OWH to do that but I don't know if he'll go for it. I'm sure he's been told all kinds of bs about me. Especially after the 1st time I called him. See, H tells AP things about me or us and she turns right around and tells her H everything. You'd think that H would wonder about that...but nope...fog's too thick. I'll do the best I can with OWH-I KNOW he KNOWS but like I said before, I think he's in the place I was just praying & hoping for it to end. I think, and this is only my opinion; that he is internalizing just like I was. I only hope that if that's the case that he doesn't decide to use those weapons that he & his wife covet.

Thanks again-keep it coming!!

I finally broke down & told my mom what was going on about an hour or so ago. I think she probably had an idea about it anyway, though.

C.
I told my mom this morning and she did already have some idea about what was up. She even knew who the AP is and offered some info I hadn't even thought about. She's been really supportive and today when she saw my H she was good as gold. I was ashamed to tell her and I told her so. I also told her how it is sometimes when the M works out and some family members treat the WS very badly. My sis told me that she wouldn't be that way after things work out between me & H (staying positive here)...I should have known but when you're in that state of mind you overlook a lot of stuff. My mom is very philosophical & smart as a whip. I probably should have told her right away but...well, you know how it is...the feelings of shame and failure, etc.

I also called my BIL after I walked out of a store and got into the car. It's like my subconscious was telling me to...it didn't take any effort at all to dial his number. I didn't know what to expect. He was so sweet and supportive that I could cry right now thinking about it. I told him I still love H and want to try and save our marriage. I also told him that I wasn't sure about telling their father and he offered to do so. He wanted to do it if it would help me and he said so. I waffled at first and then I told him to go ahead.

I feel like a lot of weight has been taken off of my shoulders and this has given me more confidence which I will need for tomorrow's revelations to OWH & to H's boss.

BTW-I warned my BIL that H might show up on his doorstep in the next couple of days but after I explained why, he said he didn't think that would happen. I'd love to believe that but there are no guarantees. If he does leave I'll just have to deal with it. Now my support group is getting a little bigger and there's also everyone here who've been so fantastic with advice.

I do have a question I'm not sure about. If he says he's going to leave and go to his brother's home, what should my response be? AMF? (kidding) I understand that you're upset but I'm fighting for our marriage?

Any advice would be most welcome.

Thanks to all & I eagerly await your advice.

C.
Quote
I feel like a lot of weight has been taken off of my shoulders and this has given me more confidence which I will need for tomorrow's revelations to OWH & to H's boss.

Charlotte, be sure and send a LETTER to Human Resources like Brits Brat told you to do and cc several key managers. Just calling his boss is not sufficient becuase his boss probably already knows and doesn't care. If any action is going to take place, it will happen as a result of notifying - officially - the RIGHT PEOPLE. And ccing several so that no one can give into the temptation to deep six your information, which often happens. Here is a link of a good letter that you could send. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0&fpart=2

Secondly, your mother should tell him she knows and tell him how disgusted she is. Your family has every right to be disgusted with him and should tell him. It will be up to him to make amends with them. They should not all play nice in order to protect him from the consequences of his affair.

My mother and sister were FURIOUS at my H when they found out. My sister said "I HATE THAT ******" and refused to allow him in her home. That was all a consequence of my H's affair that *HE* had to repair. So, don't try and protect him from the consequences of his affair, THAT IS NOT IN HIS BEST INTEREST.

Quote
. I also told him that I wasn't sure about telling their father and he offered to do so. He wanted to do it if it would help me and he said so. I waffled at first and then I told him to go ahead.

He needs to get a personal phone call from you to a) ensure he gets the truth, and b) so you can ask him for his advice and support.

Unfortunately, your BIL has probably already called your H and forewarned him.
I'm glad your BIL is supportive. But don't be surprised if he sides with your husband later on. That is what usually happens. Hubby will defend his sleazy affair by telling his family awful things about the marriage. Sometimes even the staunchest allies retreat from their support.

But stick to the MB plan whatever happens, letting folks know that you love your husband and your desire is to save your marriage.

I am not sure if it's a good idea to tell so many people so soon, because your husband might find out and prevent you from disclosing it to his job, OWH, etc. You need to disclose it early and quick to the rest of the people early tomorrow morning.
Thanks for the advice.

My BIL didn't call H as of yet...I don't think he will but of course I can't be 100% that he won't call him tomorrow. I think the fact that I called him out of the blue when I have rarely ever called, (maybe once or twice IF that and that would have been when H got his DWI shortly after getting involved with the AP), is something that will stick with my BIL. If he calls him tomorrow, well, so be it. As far as my mom goes...I was thinking more about the future when some family members still treat the infidels badly even after W & H have reconciled. I know there are no guarantees that this will happen for us but I'm staying positive. Besides, I needed H's help with one of the horses and I didn't want him to run off if she said anything to him!

As far as the letter goes...I can mail a letter but I still want to call his direct supervisor tomorrow. I hope this will be okay...it will have to be okay.

I am wondering what to say if I get an onslaught of profanity from H and he says he's going to go to his bro's. What would be the correct response?

Thanks again!

C.
Posted By: Resilient Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/29/07 01:41 AM
Believer asked Charlotte:
Quote
And he never cheated on her? And they were divorced before you met him?

And Charlotte responded:
Quote
No and yes. They'd been divorced for about 5 years before we got together.

Charlotte,

Regarding the ā€œNoā€ in your answer above. Did he cheat on his ex-wife?

Jo
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/29/07 03:12 AM
Hi Resilient,

My other post was lost somewhere so here I go again:

No. He did not cheat on his first wife.

I have yet another question: What happens if H loses his job due to the exposure? Not that I'd mind, I wish he WOULD quit and he has been making noises again about how unhappy he is there and asking about some of our family members' & friends' salaries that work in a certain company.

His immediate boss was already informed that there was something going on due to a coworker calling the HR department a few months ago. So I don't know for sure if he'd lose his job but there's always that possibility.

Any advice for this dilemma? I have to expose tomorrow, I am not waiting any longer.

Thanks in advance,

C.
Posted By: believer Re: Thanks you guys... - 10/29/07 05:32 AM
When he finds out and is FURIOUS, tell him you will do what it takes to save the marriage. Don't get into arguments.

The exposed WS usually says something like this is the last straw, I was going to work on the marriage, but now I'm filing for divorce, it was none of your business, you're crazy, how could you do this, you've done it now, we're just friends, how could you hurt the OP, and my personal favorite - I'll never trust you again. LOL.

So be prepared. You stay calm and let him know that you will continue doing what it takes to save the marriage.
I got some of that this morning, believer, after I tried to talk to him. I was real calm but then he started shouting at me and waving his arms around. I don't remember him ever shouting at me before in our marriage.

So now he says he can't trust me because I called the OWH after I said I wouldn't. He says he will talk to his brother and move in with him next month or at the end of December.

I am so low now. I told him I understand why he is hurting me and that I forgive him. I told him I know that he loves her and wants to be with her and that he has to make me as ugly as possible so it's easier for him to do so. Then he asks why I am shouting...and I don't think I was shouting, I may have raised my voice a bit; so I said, "well, you shouted at me, why don't we just talk instead? It doesn't have to be ugly between us."

So now what? I go ahead and expose to his boss & OWH today? Should I wait another day? What do I do? I can't call anyone right now until I calm down. And until I stop crying.

Someone out there please help......
Hi Charlotte22,

Believer was right on the money that your H would be furious... I think she even said that he will probably say that "He can't trust you..."

Your WH is following the script exactly, so my advice would be to continue with what Believer has already told you.

I don't have any personal experience with exposing, so I will defer to those that have lived through it...

I just wanted to let you know that I'd read your post and let you know that you WILL make it through this period... hang in there!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Thanks RIF.

I'm sure he'll be even more furious if & when he calls his brother to ask about moving in with him & his brother tells him that I called.

I'm a little calmer now. H acting the way he did this mornig helps me to accept what I have to do even though it hurts so very much.

He asked me a question...I don't remember the question but my answer was, "because I still love you and I want us to work it out." He didn't have a response to my statement.

C.
Hey Charlotte - You're getting great advice... it's pretty amazing how much most WS stick to the script. Believer called it exactly so even though it's hard, and it doesn't "feel" right, follow the advice you're getting here...

I sure wish that I'd had MB when I found out about Mrs. RIF's first A...

I'm glad that you're calmer now... just relax because you have a pretty good idea what your WH will do next (he will follow the WS script!)...

I'm sure that Believer and some of the others will be around shortly... and they'll have some more advice for you.

Semper Fi,

RIF
YES, you go ahead and expose to work and OWH TODAY!

Call the OWH. The fact that you're upset will show him that you are dead serious about this.

Send a letter to his work...fax it so it will get there today, and send the original by snail-mail, certified, with return receipt.
Thanks again, RIF!

I am trying my very best to follow the plan and keep my heart from ruling my head and controlling my tongue to make it say things it shouldn't like LB's.

I'm trying to think about the best time to call his boss today, as well as OWH. I know OWH keeps late nights often so I don't want to catch him asleep or just awakened when I call.

I'm going to do my best to keep my head when he comes home because I'm sure he'll be superbly po'ed, maybe even more than this morning. Or maybe he'll be so po'ed that he won't even come home. I'm doing my best to psych myself up for this...it's like being in a nightmare and you can't wake up.

Take care, RIF & have a great day,

C.
You really need to stop worrying yourself over his reaction.

You already KNOW he's going to be angry. But c'mon Chalotte, who is really entitled to anger here? Its not the cheating husband.

He's simply trying to manipulate you with his anger. He thinks he can stop you from embarrassing him by getting mad.
He has had all the power to prevent this -- by NOT HAVING AN AFFAIR!! He chose this path. Don't prevent him from experiencing the consequences!

You are overanalyzing all of this. Don't worry about "best" times to call -- JUST DO IT.

Take back your power!
Charlotte, thinking of you. Courage.
Thanks, Bellevue.

And Lexxxy, you are right. I am overanalyzing. I'm bad about that and worse since this thing started.

He always tries to throw things back at me to make me feel bad. Most especially when I was in a depression and I wasn't around sometimes when he was home or if I was home I was sleeping a lot. I was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder and I was not really doing that great. After they got my medicine regulated I was back to my normal self. But during that time, yes, I was absent even when I was home. At the time he was very loving and understanding about it. Of course now it makes me the bad one (NOT!) I told him I take responsibility for that and I apologized but I could hardly help it since my condition dictated my life at that time.
Your WH is a typical bully that is using his anger and your conflict avoidance to try and control you. Just stick to the plan. You know what he is going to do and say and you know why, so you can't let it get to you. The angrier he gets, the more damage you are doing to his affair. My WW was so mad when I exposed to her work she started calling up divorce attorney's immediately (it was all a show to try and hurt me). Well, I stuck to my guns and was moving forward with cutting her off and kicking her out of the house, and then it was her crying, asking me not to D her, and agreeing to NC (which she broke, but my actions took back control from her). Once your WH finds out that yelling and screaming at you no longer affects you, then he will stop doing it.
Thank you, jmcw95. It helps to hear the experiences of others (or I guess I should say read about them)-I'm hoping we can reach the point of recovery and I know that it will be very, very hard to go through the angry words and hurled accusations but I'm trying to be strong.

I just tried to call OWH but he didn't answer their phone. So I'm going to try every 15 mins. and hope that he answers and that he will talk to me or at the very least, listen to what I have to say.

What about your husband's work? Did you call them yet?
no, BA1 not yet. I'm going to try OWH again now...
If OWH won't answer the phone should I go ahead and send him an email?

Thanks.
H's boss is GFTD because of Dr. appts. & what-not. Should I leave a msg. in his VM to call me or should I just wait & call him in the am? That's when he's supposed to return.

Thanks!!
why aren't you following the recommendation of sending a letter? Fax it, then send certified -- directly to HR.
Hi Lexxxy,

I am sending a letter. I'm working on it right now.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 06:27 PM
I used the basic template from the link provided and just changed a few things. Please let me know if this is sufficient. I've called OWH 4x already & he won't answer his phone. Maybe he's busy or maybe he knows it's me. I used *67 but I'm sure he's figured it out by now.

Thanks, you guys!

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is to bring a matter to your attention that may be a violation of your Company's Code of Conduct and/or other policies, procedures and business ethics.

My H and OW are involved in an extramarital affair that is taking place, primarily, in the workplace. Aside from the potential sexual harassment claims this situation presents, it also involves the inappropriate use of company resources and assets. Mr. Smith and Ms. Doe are using company time and company resources to further their affair. If you check the call histories on their office and cell phones along with their workstation computers, you will find the two of them are spending an inordinate amount of what should be productive work time to further their sexual relationship.

If you have any questions, please call me at xxx. Otherwise, I will anticipate a response from you once you have investigated these concerns and taken appropriate corrective action.

Regards,
Posted By: Lexxxy Re: Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 06:49 PM
Excellent letter.
Send it.

Keep trying OWH. Consider driving to his house.
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 09:13 PM
ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT! I would suggest, with your permission, that we make your letter a post in and of itself for all BS who need to expose to the workplace.

ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!

Regards,

BB
Thanks BB. I'm afraid I can't take credit for the letter since I used a letter that was in a link provided and just changed a few things. I think that you may have been the one that provided the link.

In other news: I finally reached OWH and he is still in major denial. I told him that I called so he would have a chance to save his marriage and that I had evidence. I told him I'd show him if he wanted to meet me in a public place. He just flatly denies anything was going on and I know HE KNOWS.

I wasn't sure how to respond to his denials but I did the best I could. I also wished him luck and said I'd contact him if he really wanted to see the evidence, but that it was painful to look at.
Posted By: believer Re: Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 10:01 PM
Sounds like her husband is not ready to face the facts yet. Is he ill, or still working and independent? Do they have children?

I only remember a very few cases where the OP's spouse stayed in denial. But you have done what you can do.

Good job!
Hi believer,

Thank you. I was really nervous about calling him but I was very calm throughout as I stated the facts. Whether he'd truly be willing to meet with me and see the evidence remains to be seen.

He is ill with a degenerative disorder but I guess it is somewhat under control at this time. He does work because they have a sideline business together and he has another part-time job at night once or twice a week. They don't have any children.

I've been expecting H to call and be upset that I called OWH again. I told OWH that I know he will call his wife and she in turn will inform my H. I had to call my H because his doctor called looking for him and he didn't sound upset or anything so either OWH didn't call his wife or my H doesn't give a hoot that I called OWH. Or my H is just "playing it cool."
Posted By: believer Re: Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 10:20 PM
Oh, her hubby may be in shock and hasn't said anything yet. I'm sure your husband will get wind of it. Be sure to try to remember some of the things he responds with so I can add them to my list for future posters.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Letter drafted...opinions please!! - 10/29/07 10:36 PM
Good job Charlotte. I know this is hard. You did the right thing.
Thank you believer & Michele G.

I'll try to remember some of what he says. So far it's been pretty much by-the-book.

Thanks again to everybody for the advice & support. I'm trying to hold myself together.
It sounds like you're doing really well. Hang in there!
So, what kind of evidence do you have that you're about to show it to the OWH?
Hi BA1,

I have evidence that cannot be refuted or denied. It's both in written form and photographic. I don't know if I'll end up showing it to OWH...he wants me to drive to their town to show him and they are probably a good hour to hour 1/2 drive from where we are. And what if I call him and tell him I"m at McDonald's or some other public spot and he just doesn't show up because he's in such denial about it?

I don't have their physical address but it wouldn't be that hard to get...it's on Intelius if I choose to pay for the info. It came up when I did a reverse search on their phone number. I don't relish the idea of driving to their actual home with the evidence. What if he flips out and decides to take everyone out including himself? I had an uncle who was murdered because he was dating a female who was also dating his best friend and his best friend stabbed him and killed him. He didn't die right away...he lingered for 3 weeks or so. There was nothing else doctors could do for him because the damage from the knife was so extensive.

So I think about that...and that's something my mom is worried about as well...that someone will freak out and just take everybody out with themselves.

I just talked to H a few minutes ago. He's on his way home, late as usual and both of us were polite and cordial. Even though I know he was with her and not just working late. I'm not going to let him bait me tonight. I think tomorrow will be much worse though, since I sent the letter to HR w/overnight shipping.

C.
Charlotte, if the man doesn't want to know then he doesn't want to know, I guess. Does he know how to get in touch with you if he changes his mind? Or could you offer to mail it or email it to him? [scan it at Kinkos] The important thing is that it is available to him and he has a way to contact you.

On the day that HR is to receive your letter, I would plan to call his parents PERSONALLY, any other close siblings, friends, your parents, pastor, anyone else you can think of. Your FIL needs to hear from you personally because you will want to tell him about the affair and, very important ----> ask for his ADVICE. This may motivate him to speak to his son and support you. Is his mother alive?

Also, in this letter to Human Resources, you did give their names, right?
Hi Melody,

HR will receive the letter today. Should I still call his immediate supervisor? Yes, their names are in the letter.

OWH wants to see the evidence. I told him I would meet him in a public place so I guess I will call him and set it up.

H slept on the couch last night so I'm sure he talked to his AP. I was called a two-faced B because I was nice and normal and acted like nothing had transpired between us over the weekend. He doesn't know I heard. It hurt a lot. I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep so I went and told him that I had talked to OWH and I didn't want H to think I was keeping this from him. He asked me why and I told him that I'm sure that OWH loves his wife and he would want to save their marriage.

It was all calm and in low voices. Then I went back to bed. I woke up when he was getting ready for work. We didn't talk but he kissed me goodbye and I told him to have a good day.

I guess he'll want to leave our home before the day is over so I'm trying to prepare myself mentally for his walking out.

C.
Please if anyone has a minute...
Best Advisor,

Quote
So, what kind of evidence do you have that you're about to show it to the OWH?


I note that you are a relatively new member and, after reading your other posts which are not supportive of the MarriageBuilders principles, I am wondering why you are asking this question. The only two possible answers I can see are 1) you are a voyeaur who delights in drama, or 2) you are an OW or, even, Charlotte's OW and conducting reconnaissance.

BB
Charlotte, I'm here.
Charlotte? You okay?
I don't understand BB...I thought I was doing everything right. What am I doing wrong?

Bellevue, I was wondering if I still need to call H's boss. I need to call OWH to set up the meeting so he can see the evidence. I am just plain scared of what's going to happen today. I don't even know if I want to be here when he comes home. But I have to be here. I just want to know that I'm doing the right thing. From others who are helping me I'm being told I am but then BB says I'm not. What do I do? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Charlotte, BB was speaking to BestAdvisor, not to you! You are doing fine. (((Charlotte))))
Oh, I see now that I went back to read it again. Still scared and feeling very alone right now...
Charlotte, I don't get from BB's post that she thinks you are not doing the right thing. She was posting to another poster who has not been on the Boards very long, someone we know nothing about.

I wish I could be there to stand next to you and hold your hand. You are absolutely doing the right thing to save your marriage and fight for your man. How I admire your courage!

In your exposure letter to your H's employer, did you ask him to call you once he had read it?

As to whether you should call the employer, I will defer to Melody or other successful MB members. She knows the Plan inside out, and her recovery is successful.

You know my story .... I'm the one who didn't expose and now I'm divorced. I am a good hand holder though.

Oh, and Best Advisor is the new poster, the one who is unfamiliar to the Harley's concepts. Look to the older posters, I mean the ones who have been here longest, rather than to him/her.

(((((((((((((Charlotte))))))))))))))
Feel the fear, but act through it. Call OW'H and go meet him. Take charge. He needs to see the evidence.
Charlotte,

You ARE alone. The hardest things are done alone. Birth, dying, agony in the Garden.

And you ARE NOT alone. Your supporters in cyberspace are cheering for you, praying for you.

And God is with you as well. That is where your real strength comes from. God commanded man to love his wife, to cleave unto her. God hates adultery. He is on your side as you fight to restore your marriage.
Thanks Seeking Wife & Bellevue...I will try to keep your words in my head so I can stay strong. And as to your previous post, Bellevue...yes, I gave them my cell number because I have it with me all of the time.

And if Melody is around, please let me know about calling H's boss!

Seeking Wife-I am going to set up the meeting with OWH for Thursday. That's my next day off.
Is there no way you can do this today? I know you said he lives 1 1/2 hours away, but meet him half way and do it today. The sooner he has the full truth and has those images in HIS head that you already have in yours, the sooner he can help break up this affair.
I can try but I don't know if I should leave since HR will be getting my letter today. If they take any action & talk to my H or talk to his AP then he might come storming home and I feel I should really be here whenever he does get home.
I realize that he may not care one whit about me right now and he wants what he wants and will get it however he can. I'm trying to tell myself these things in hope that it might get a little easier for it to sink in. I've been trying to get it to sink in since the confirmation of the EA in July. It has gotten easier but it's still so hard. And he started connecting with me during this time and it makes it even harder. Now I think he is fairly p.o.'ed with me, though.
I think they might be planning to run off together, either temporarily or for good.
I wouldn't worry about that! In fact, it might be better if you AREN"T available when he first hears that you contacted HR.
Here's a cute little story about praying to God for help:

During Hurrican Katrina, Bubba sat on his front porch praying for God to get him out of N'awlins. Water rose up to the top step of his veranda. His neighbors rowed by and called out to him,
"Bubba, there's room for you in this hyar boat, come with us."
Bubba told them "NO, thanks, I'm trusting in the Lawd to save me. Y'all go on ahead, I'm awaitin' on the Lawd."

And Bubba stayed sitting on the veranda. When the water sloshed into the front parlor, he climbed the stairs to the second storey. He looked out the window and some rescuers slowed down to hail him.

"Friend, we'll pull up to your window, and y'all climb in. We're leaving N'awlins for safety."

But Bubba was waitin' on the Lawd, and trusting in the Lawd, and he would not accept their offer of rescue. He waved them on.

Finally, water filled the second storey. Bubba went upstairs into the attic, and lastly he climbed up on the roof, and clung to the chimney. Overhead a helicopter hovered, dropped a rope ladder for Bubba to climb to safety, but he waved the rope away. The copter went on to rescue more willing victims.

And quickly the high water swept Bubba away, and he was drowned. And as he approached the light, he saw the Lawd. And Bubba cried out "Lawd, I trusted in you, and I waited for you to save me, and now here I am, drowned and dead! Why didn't you answer my prayers, Lawd?"

And the Lord said to Bubba, "Son, I sent you a rowboat, and you refused to get in it. I sent you a motorboat, and you refused to get in it. And I sent you a helicopter, and you refused that escape too. I gave you three chances to save yourself; what did you expect, a choir of angels?"

Charlotte, you are in the boat! Good work.
Quote
I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't get back to sleep so I went and told him that I had talked to OWH and I didn't want H to think I was keeping this from him. He asked me why and I told him that I'm sure that OWH loves his wife and he would want to save their marriage.

I'm not so sure you should have told WH about this because now they have warning. But, what's done is done and you can only go from here.

As far as calling HR, I would follow-up just as you would on any other business matter. If nothing else, just to confirm that your letter was received, read and noted. But maybe Melody might have better input about that.

As for meeting OWH, I would do it yesterday. So what if you WH comes home and you're not there... you're taking care of business fighting for your marriage. Fighting with him about your exposure won't do anything at this point.

What makes you think they're planning to run away together? This is SURELY information that OWH needs.
Oh and Charlotte ((((Charlotte)))) don't be afraid. We're with you. God is with you.
Seeking, agree with you! Let him blow off ugly steam with the OW.
princess meggy,

Yes, that IS info that the OWH needs.

And Charlotte, if they DO run off together, where are they going to go? If they leave town, or leave the state, will they commute to work? If they stay in town and move in together, the affair becomes mundane and loses its glamour. Nuclear exposure will tarnish the shiny patina of a secret, special love that nobody in the ordinary world can understand.

Many runaway adulterers want to return home once reality creeps in on them.

If he "runsaway" with her, it is not a bad thing. It can put you in a position of power. He has to earn his way back into the marriage, he has to fight for you and re-conquer your heart. It's a very risky move; he may not be willing to go that far.

[pats Charlotte on the back several times]
Thanks, Bellevue...I had to go cry a little while and do some praying also. I'm starting to get really nervous now. I don't want to mess anything up and do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing.

princess meggy...things I have seen and things that are missing from around the house, just small things, but mostly because of the money that's missing out of our account...he pulled out the limit on the ATM card twice in a row last week, had some lie of an explanation... then put a little bit back in. I looked back further and saw dribs and drabs being taken out. I think he's squirreling it away or he opened another account either alone or with her. I was able to get the bills paid, though.
Thanks again, Bellevue. And princess meggy. And everybody who is helping me stay strong.

I don't want to fight with him and I won't fight with him. I guess I just want to see him one last time. If he is ugly to me even if I don't respond it will be easier for me to accept that he is leaving.
Quote
Thanks, Bellevue...I had to go cry a little while and do some praying also. I'm starting to get really nervous now. I don't want to mess anything up and do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing.

princess meggy...things I have seen and things that are missing from around the house, just small things, but mostly because of the money that's missing out of our account...he pulled out the limit on the ATM card twice in a row last week, had some lie of an explanation... then put a little bit back in. I looked back further and saw dribs and drabs being taken out. I think he's squirreling it away or he opened another account either alone or with her. I was able to get the bills paid, though.

Safeguard your money Charlotte.

Do you have joint savings accounts? Pull the money out and put it into a new account for safekeeping. He is an alien right now. When he returns to sanity, he will be glad that you kept your finances safe.

As for doing or saying the wrong thing, remember:

You love him. You don't do divorce; you only do marriage. You are fighting for your marriage.
Right now there's probably about 150.00 or so in there. We get paid Thursday @ midnight through automatic deposit. I guess I could pull that out Friday a.m. if I can get there first.

Should I talk to a lawyer at all about protecting finances?
I'm going to try & get in touch with OWH now if he will answer my call.
Charlotte...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm here too...Just completed reading all that has gone on with you in the past couple days...You are doing GREAT...I also wanted to remind you that fear is not from God...Don't forget to trust Him...(I forget that a lot myself <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />) ((((Charlotte))))

Mrs. W
Charlotte,

My post got lost in cyberspace - I think you are doing great! My post wasn't to you but to Best Advisor, who I believe has ulterior motives for being on this site. I am monitoring your situation and here to help it you need me...just hollar out to me and I will send you my e-mail address.

Regards,

BB
Talked to OWH, he wants to meet this afternoon near where they work instead of me driving all the way to where they live. I asked him if he could bring someone with him to drive him home because it is really going to hurt for him to have to see this but he said he would be okay. I also told him that I think they are planning to run away or take a trip together because of all of the money that is missing from our account. Am I doing okay?
Quote
Should I talk to a lawyer at all about protecting finances?

Yes...Call one today...Do you mind telling me what state you are in? Mr. W is an attorney here in Michigan-not divorce law, but he might be able to answer some questions for you...Brit's Brat is also an attorney and she is posting to you as well...You'll still need your own lawyer of course, just pointing out that you are in good hands here...

Mrs. W
Quote
Talked to OWH, he wants to meet this afternoon near where they work instead of me driving all the way to where they live. I asked him if he could bring someone with him to drive him home because it is really going to hurt for him to have to see this but he said he would be okay. I also told him that I think they are planning to run away or take a trip together because of all of the money that is missing from our account. Am I doing okay?

You are doing FANTASTIC!!!

Mrs. W

Thank you Mrs. W. and BB.

I am so nervous. I almost starting crying when I was talking to OWH but managed to hold on okay so I could talk to him. If H comes home and takes some stuff and leaves then I guess that will just have to be the way it is. If he doesn't have the courage and decency to face me and tell me he is leaving etc. then that is his weakness, not mine. I am going to do whatever I can to save our marriage and thanks again so much to everyone here who is helping me through this. I am going to start getting copies ready for OWH but I will be checking in often for everyone's great advice and support. Thank you all again. I know I couldn't do this without you all.
Thanks again Mrs. W. We are in Texas. I just called my mom to tell her I'd be meeting with OWH later this afternoon. She wants me to take someone with me but we don't have a large circle of friends so I can't think of a single person who can come with me. I asked her if she was afraid that he would shoot me and then go shoot them because both of them carry concealed weapons and are licensed to carry (I think). She said no. She asked me what if he brings his wife and I said I don't care I have hard evidence and if I don't do this to try and save OUR marriage that I would regret it the rest of my life.
I understand that the purpose of this meeting with the OWH is to give him the proof that you have, but at the same time, make sure you get as much information from him as you can. Think of a list of questions for him that you think he might know the answers to.
Ah Texas...We have lots of great folks here from Texas...MelodyLane, Brit's Brat & PrincessMeggy to name a few (maybe one of them could even recommend a good divorce lawyer for you-dunno)...You are gonna be A-Okay Charlotte...

Mrs. W
You are doing great. Of course you're scared. But you're going ahead.

I was scared. Scared of humiliation, public humilitation, and I did not take the course you are taking. I hid my face. You are fighting tears, and still going forward.

The OWH is your ally.

Your H may accuse you of all kinds of evil motives. He may call you low names. Do not take his cruelty to heart. He's not himself while he's in the affair.

Proof of the affair doesn't deserve consideration, or privacy, it shouldn't be protected.

If their love is meant to be, if it is wonderful, why would they not sing it to the rooftops? Why would they mind having photos or videos or transcripts of their true love being shown to those who are affected by it?

Why, if their love is so wonderful, once the betrayed spouses see the proof, they will experience the most wonderful epiphany in the world. They will see lovely, pure love, and out of love for the infidels, they will step aside, wave banners and throw flower petals, they will renounce their spouses in favor of the lovers.

They will proclaim the value and holiness of the True Love to the world, they will announce "Now I see what True Love is! And because I love my spouse, I will remove myself and do everything possible for the benefit of this heaven fated union!"

[hurl]
OWH may see it, read it and STILL be in denial. At least he will be well informed, though. I guess I should let him keep the copies? I decided I was going to do that, is that correct?

Thanks all of you great folks!

I'm still scared as heck but I'm not going to back down now.
You're right, Bellevue. Well said. I may not even see H today. Maybe he will hang around to see what is going to happen or maybe he will slink home and grab some belongings and leave. Neither H nor his AP believe that I have evidence. I have evidence that cannot be denied. If OWH can't accept it, maybe after he thinks about it and absorbs the images and words he will be able to accept it. It's an ugly thing. I had trouble accepting it and I am still trying to accept it. But I've been trying for quite some time now...trying to be the best I can be, working on myself and being a loving spouse to my H all the while he is sharing himself with someone else. I've been doing the carrot of plan A for a long while now, while praying for them to tire of each other and reconcile with the people who love them...myself and OWH.

I'm not trying to sound snooty or anything but I think a lesser person would have totally freaked, hit the roof and divorced. I have been keeping the faith and reading and learning and realized the right thing to do for our marriage. If it doesn't work out, at least I'll know I did everything possible to save us. H is a smart person...this is one of the reasons I was attracted to him to begin with. Maybe he will wake up and realize what devastation he has caused and is causing. If not, I will still know that I did everything possible to save our marriage and will be able to walk away with no regrets.
Maybe I should take his laptop with me when I go to meet OWH. There's a lot on there that H thinks he erased. I thought I would be so busted when I tampered with it since he is so computer savvy and all. But nope. I guess he was too blinded by lust. I'm not trying to be cocky here or anything...I'm just surprised is all.
I think if he calls today....don't answer the phone....let it go to voice mail.
That is great that they don't believe you have evidence. So now when you expose it to the OW'sH they will be totally knocked off balance.

You are doing great...keep it up.
10-4 on that. I think that is a good idea, too. I'm really nervous and jumpy right now and it would be a good idea to avoid contact. You're right on the money. And if he shows up with her to see the evidence, so be it. I don't know if that will happen but I guess that's a possibility since OWH is still so loyal to his cheating wife and tells her everything, including what I say to him. And then she discusses me in lovely, endearing terms with my own H.
Can you cancel his debit card? You definitely need to see an attorney if he's already draining money. You probably need to get a TRO in place to protect your finances and assets. Remember 1/2 of whatever he takes is yours. Keep a record. Can you go online and view your bank statement? Print out copies for safekeeping.

I'm in Texas and Texas is a community property state. Brit's Brat is an attorney in Texas and maybe she can give you a referral for an attorney. You probably need to let her know what town you're in.

Be careful when you meet with OWH, hopefully you're meeting in a public place with lots of people around. Please let us know how that goes.

Praying for you girl.
Well, of course let him keep the copies. Why not?

It's not a matter of snootiness, this decision to fight or end it. A very find woman, my friend of over 30 years, ended her marriage the day she confronted the OW at her place of work [beautifully, flamboyantly and publicly!] ending the affair AND ending her marriage [HER choice].

I wrote about that confrontation her on the Boards.

It's more a matter of what we can live with. I could have lived with the emotional affair, had my H ended it, admitted what he did, and really worked on marriage counseling.

Instead, he was on the phone with OW on the way to the MC sessions, he was on the phone with OW once we left, and ad nauseum. Still, I kept on.

It's more a matter of what each of can tolerate. The ones who come here after learning of cheating are willing to keep the marriage going, and the ones who aren't willing mostly don't even look up sites to repair broken marriages on the web.

I think you are a fine, strong and classy lady, you are brave, no matter whether you continue fighting for your marriage or just decide you are too fed up to continue.
Charlotte,
First let me state that although ALLLL of this is scary and Most Uncomfortable (while in the midst of doing it) .....You are doing a fine job of actually DOING something (to help yourself) and NOT letting the "fear" freeze you into InAction.
So although I know its hard, keep plowing forward .....its your Best Chance at Success.

Next,
I've read numerous posters telling you NOT to forewarn your WH or the OW of anything .....yet it keeps happening (even if sometimes in Smaller ways).
Please do your best to Cut That Out!
Yes, I KNOW that its sooooooooo Hard to NOT let your husband KNOW how your feeling and what his actions are doing to you ..........But telling him of what YOUR doing and whom your contacting is only hurting your chances.

Face it,
waywards thrive in the *information is power* game.
As a result,
for Sooo long They have had the advantage over you .....and guess what??? They want to keep it that way.
Let's make sure that we shift that advantage back over to you.

Keep in mind that You have a plan of action.
You know how to act, whom to contact, what to say, what to do, how to ReAct, ect.......
In contrast,
They are simply following a script that YOU already have the play by play too.
So if you can control the emotions involved (yes, I know harder than it reads) ...you CAN Succeed.
Cheaters Play hard .....so to beat them You have to Play Harder!
Sad but true.

So keep formulating your PLAN.
Decide how your going to react and handle each step,
Whether it be protecting your $$$$ OR just rehearsing what your going to say when your H Blows up at your actually wanting to stop his "fun".
You can always break down in a private moment OR in the company of a trusted alley or friend OR even on here if need be.

Just know,
that I have much respect for You and anyone willing to put themselves Out There to stop the destruction of their marriage.
Especially when it seems most everyone (in real life) is either fighting against you OR at the least, Neutral on the subject.
This is one reason UnFairs thrive sooooo frequently.
Secrecy, embarrassment & fear of "what if" are some of infidelities best friends.

But your staring the Beast right in the eyes .......and I say "Good For You"!

As to what Best Advisor said:
Yes indeed,
any eXtra info that the OWH can give you will be a bonus.
So by all means ......ask whatever you can think of. (Actually, write it down so you don't forget in the heat of the moment what you want to ask)
In fact,
Write down what you want to get across to him as well.
This is tooo important to get lost in all the emotion of the meeting [which is natural]--- (and then regret not saying while you calm down on the drive home).

Keep in mind
You only get once chance at this First Sit Down. (Especially since he seems kinda resistant to begin with, ya know)?

In addition,
do your best to get him to understand that the best alley you have, is Each Other.
Sharing information, 2 sets of (eyes, dates, times), support and of course a UNITED "Wedge" sworn to the destruction of this UnFair is in the best interest of Both of you.

I mean the impact of 2 separate spouses sending letters the workplace stating the same accusations, sure makes it a lot more difficult for a HR dept. to sweep under the rug.

In any case,
Keep it Up ........we're all Pulling for you.
Yep, its tough .......but worth it!!
{edit-sp}
Thank you, Seeking Wife. Yep, you shoulda heard what they were saying about lil' ol' 5'3" me! It hurt, though. I'm not gonna joke about that and shouldn't. It hurt A LOT. It took a lot out of me not to jump in and say, "BOO!" right then and there. But I was just so sad, I couldn't say anything. Until I woke up in the middle of the night and told H I talked to OWH. He already knew. He was keeping quiet and composed about it, is all. I'm really surprised he even kissed me goodbye this a.m. I didn't think he would since he slept on the couch. Normally he will sleep there if he is feeling bad with headache, etc. but I guess last night it was because I talked to OWH. I still had nightmares of them running away together after I was finally able to get back to sleep.
Hey top rope, nice to see you again!

Charlotte, I just had another thought.

Be careful with the laptop. I'd worry that the OWH might wrestle it away from me. BUt I'm a paranoid.....

You might offer to give him copies of what is on it. And store it in a safe place where your H can't get at it.
Thank you princess meggy, Bellevue and top rope. Now I am crying again. But I will not give up.
When I talked to OWH a while ago and told him that I thought they might be running away or leaving for some sort of getaway...he said his W is not going anywhere. Maybe my H was just going to leave me. I told him that maybe you are right, he did speak of moving in with his bro. I also told him I was glad he was able to communicate with his wife. I don't know how he is going to react to this info and I don't know why he wants to meet close to where they work. Maybe he plans on storming over there after he sees the evidence?

I feel bad for him because I know they are planning either a getaway or running away from the 2 of us, me & OWH.
Okay, Bellevue. I'm going to have to take it with me. The bulk of it is on the laptop. I have some of the evidence stored on an outside server, though. So I'll take his laptop along with mine. I will go ahead and make copies of the data. I know he'll want to go and show it to her and I will try to warn him about what will happen. This will be the end of any evidence that comes from that particular source. It's too bad, really. I was hoping to get a little more. I have enough, though. If I see any more I will vomit. It's going to be hard enough to get these copies done.
Should I direct OWH to this website? Or just show him the evidence and wait? Should I tell him to get the Surviving An Affair book AND direct him to this site?

I guess H is not going to try and contact me. I'm sure he knows about the meeting by now. And if anyone from HR or his boss called...well, he might know about the letters. I don't know what time the mail delivery is at the main headquarters. Sad thing: I sent the Halloween card I got for H to his work address yesterday. Just a card wishing him a Happy Halloween...Love, Me.

I wonder if he'll get that today. I wonder if he will enjoy the card. I wonder if he'll think about us.
If he beats you to the bank somehow on Thursday perhaps you can take a cash advance on any joint credit card you have before you cancel it. Sometimes cards even give you a cash advance check which you could use and deposit as seed money into your own new individual checking account.

Judges often hammer husbands (and wives) for leaving their spouses destitute. They will award attorney's fees and extra alimony as a punishment.

Make certain you make copies of all financial records (bank statements, tax returns, etc.) or just take and hide the originals. If he leaves...he may just grab all his/your business records which will make it that much harder for your attorney to do his/her job without such records.

Mr. Wondering
Quote
Should I direct OWH to this website? Or just show him the evidence and wait? Should I tell him to get the Surviving An Affair book AND direct him to this site?

Sure Charlotte send him here...That would be a very kind thing to do, AND if you've got two BSs onboard with MB plans all the better...

Mrs. W
Thank you, Mr. & Mrs. Wondering.
Quote
Should I direct OWH to this website? Or just show him the evidence and wait? Should I tell him to get the Surviving An Affair book AND direct him to this site?

I'd wait until you can be certain he is actually on your side and wants to work with you to bust up the affair.

BS fog sometimes runs thick and he could be on a fact finding mission on behalf of his wife because he's been convinced you are a crazy half-witted psychotic wife of her business associate and friend that is jeapardizing her career and their livlihood.

Only give him copies...originals should be NO WHERE in the vicinity.

Also...be careful he doesn't hit on you. It's uncommon but it has occurred. Some BS's think their best revenge will come from seducing and sleeping with the other BS. It only makes the situation much worse.

Mr. Wondering
LOL that Mr. W is contradicting me(from the next room no less)! Hmmph! Gonna have to give that boy a spankin'! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

But I think once OWH sees the evidence he will certainly not believe any lies being told about Charlotte...

Mrs. W
Thanks Bellevue! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Don't get on much .......but this situation caught my eye.

(Oh the Not so fond memories of the work place A ....complete with Sex on the clock ). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> [*gaaaag*]

Next,
let me Thank All of You that are supporting, encouraging and advising Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I mean that.
Your Advice and persistence is InValuable to her. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Your doing her a great service.

Charlotte,
All of us that have been where you are at ...we'll be holding your hand and gripping your shoulder <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> as you take these OH So Necessary Steps.

Next,
(others may differ on this) but perhaps keep your MBers info in your pocket until maybe the next time your in contact with the OWH.
(Be it phone, email, whatever)
For one,
he's not likely to be all that receptive today.
I mean its a tough time when we wake up out of denial.

Plus,
sadly he sounds kinda wishy washy to me. (Sorry but getting a bad vibe from his reactions).

With that said,
UNTIL he Proves that he's going to actually join you in fighting to destroy this A (and not simply be an enabler of it) .....I'd not want to clue his WW into your Safe Place Here.
But that's Your call.

The important part from this meeting is that he KNOWS what's going on.
There will be time after he's "on board" to decide what to do about it.

Lastly,
show Him the evidence, but do all you can to protect the source ( if possible).
That way you can still monitor and use it.
If not possible, so be it.

Wishing you Only Success in your journey! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
(edit-sp-again <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />)
I just talked to BIL and told him I was meeting with OWH. H has not been in contact with him. He doesn't see his family members often and since the affair started he cut off contact with all of them, not just me. And that's including the kids. I just told BIL that if H is going to show up that today is the day and if he doesn't show up that he has run away with his AP. I told him about the missing money. It doesn't matter if he calls H. I know that H knows I am meeting with OWH today. I don't think BIL will call him but if he does it doesn't matter. I told BIL that H is going to badmouth me and try to make me out to be the bad person in order to justify his actions with his AP since it goes against his morals an ethics. I have to be the bad guy then. I don't know if this was the right thing to do but BIL told me he'd been thinking about it ever since I called him the other day and that when I said I couldn't live like this anymore it struck a chord within him. I almost broke down crying but managed to hold it in. My voice was pretty shaky, though. I might be wrong but I don't think BIL will support H in his affair because their father left their mother for someone else. This used to bother H as well. I guess he got over it since he's doing the same thing now.
How old are your children?
Thanks so much, you guys. I won't be able to protect the main source because if I reveal it...and it will be necessary for me to do so because I must be absolutely credible. I can hope he won't say anything but I can't count on it because he so deep in denial. (with Cleopatra, ha ha)

I have been very careful not to reveal the source to anyone but of course all of you here know now so all bets are off if H has been looking on this laptop to see what I've been up to. I don't think he has, though. He doesn't care much about anything but getting his fix.
25, 21 and 19. All stepchildren. We were working on our own from time to time until the A.

In fact that was one of the red flags. He told me it wasn't fair to me and I wanted to have children so I should just leave him and find someone else to have them with since it wasn't working with him.
The children should be told what their father is doing Charlotte...Excellent exposure targets...

Mrs. W
I am torn about that and also spoke about it with BIL the other day since they've already had to deal with their parents splitting up back then and so many problems with their mother taking it out on them I didn't want to reveal it to them at this point. I'm sure that my oldest and his wife might have some idea...they live in our town and we interact with them sometimes. But not that often. In fact, the last time I saw them I stopped by their home to see how it was going because they are having some money problems and we helped them out last month a bit. We were going to help them out this month but that was before the main drain on our bank account occurred. There was some drain last month but his month it was really a lot. I told BIL about that, too.

But then again, Son & DIL might not have any clue or could even imagine that H would do such a thing. Since they were preoccupied with their problems so much they may not have picked up on those vibes.
The AP made up some false paperwork about some trip she is supposed to take. I guess she showed this false paperwork to her H. I have no idea if my H helped her forge it but I'm guessing they were both in on it.

They kept talking about the countdown...the countdown...one week until...4 days until...etc. That's what it was about. Them either 1. running away together forever or 2. taking a trip together and facing the music upon return.
I am or was supposed get a call tomorrow and so he could let me "have it"..... "as little or as much as you want." Her words to my H.
He did not reply to her when she said this so I have no idea what he was thinking.
Charlotte - Do the exposure like you are planning. Then I would be out of the house and not available for phone contact. That will make the OW angry and she may LB your hubby.

The idea is to expose and stay in Plan A, and avoid the drama as much as possible. Don't talk to the OW if she calls. Let the OW and your husband go through this without a lot of input from you.

I was reading about hubby telling OW you were two faced. Imagine that! LOL. OW is about as two faced as they come. Avoid talking to her.

The best case scenario is if they DO run away together. Then they will get sick of each other quicker. But I would imagine it is more likely they are planning a vacation. Whatever it is, stay with your plan.
I can do that before I leave. Since H is in such a fog I might have to sell everything to survive. But then he might break in anyway and I don't want to be here alone with a compromised window or door. Any advice on this? Please...
Okay believer. That sounds like a good plan. So I should not change the locks on the house then. That might be viewed as an act of war.

I just have so many scenarios in my head...what if H freaks and burns the house down because I had the nerve to stand up for our marriage...what if what if what if

And at the same time I'm waiting for OWH to call for the meeting. I hope he doesn't chicken out.
Yeah, when I heard that it made me really sad. He called me an actual bad name, although it wasn't to my face. I can be thankful for that, at least.

The other first was him shouting at me Monday morning.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine When should I talk to H? - 10/30/07 06:44 PM
Since I should avoid him today and I'm pretty sure he'll leave home since exposure has been so rapid and (I hope) thorough?
Just stay calm, and know that you are doing the best thing to save the marriage. This isn't going to be over today, but will most likely go on and on. So rest up and conserve your energy for the war, not just one battle.

I wasn't able to recover my marriage, so you may want to listen to others' advice. But I think it is critical to follow the MB plan, and then STEP back and STAY OUT of the drama as much as possible. I reacted too much to all the craziness. I tried to catch OW and my ex together - did in fact, but it did nothing to save the marriage. It just made them cling more to each other, and partner more against me.

Once you have the proof, it is better to expose, stay very calm, and let them do whatever it is they are planning to do, and then let them suffer the consequences. Meanwhile you can be busy at the spa, getting your nails done.
Okay believer. So I should wait a while before talking to H then. If he even bothers to call me or contact me. Does this mean I'm in Plan A with a partial Plan B?

The phone just rang but only one time and the caller i.d. didn't catch the number. I'm wondering if it was H or if it was OWH. Seems kind of early for OWH. I wonder if that ring means that H has found out I contacted HR? Possibly.

Or maybe she's trying to goad him into telling me off. She's pretty pushy. (I guess that's an understatement!)
I think you should talk to your husband, but stay calm and cheerful. I wouldn't talk to him on the phone though. It seems that he is being egged on by OW. I would simply be unavailable. Make him talk to you face to face.

Also, whatever you do, don't say anything negative about the OW. I know that is hard, but will just cause him to defend you. You want her to badmouth you, and you don't have ANYTHING to say about her. In reality, SHE isn't the problem, HE is. So don't give her any power.

Watch your surroundings, because we did have one OW attack the wife after exposure. But that was only one out of thousands.
I'm pretty sure I can do that. I haven't talked bad about her. I did say her actual name to him but that's all. That was the other day.

I hope I don't get attacked by any of the three. There is a possibility of violence from OWH but I don't know if he'd direct it at me or at me, H and H's AP. But I'm not that afraid of OWH...I will meet him and show him the evidence...IF he calls me back to meet him. He said late afternoon. It's after 2 now. Still a little early for him to call, I guess.
I heard H's AP tell him I was one HELLUVA bluffer. I have news for her. I'm NOT bluffing. The way she said it, it was almost in admiration. Hmmmm. Go figure.
Hee Hee....he is so sure of himself....thinking you have no proof. You go girl!
She used to push him to go see a lawyer and that she would go with him. How sick is that? I don't know if he ever went or not.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:00 PM
Should I call OWH soon if he doesn't call? I'm thinking of packing up and starting off in that direction within the hour so we can get this over and done.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:04 PM
Call him and tell him you're ready to roll. He made need a "push", especially if he's been in denial or is a conflict avoider.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:05 PM
Thanks princess meggy.

Should I call him after I'm on the road? Like halfway there?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:35 PM
I just called OWH and we agreed on a place. He still wants it to be close to their office.

I told him I'm nearly done printing then I check the oil in the car and go.

And I'll call him when I'm on the road.

He was very polite and cordial and sounded nicer than usual. I hope that is a good sign. Usually he is reluctant to talk but I know that he knows what is going on between his wife and my H in his heart. He just doesn't want to face it. I understand.

I just hope he shows up.
Posted By: Lexxxy Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:38 PM
Good Luck Charlotte. We're all behind you!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:41 PM
Make sure someone there IRL knows where you're going. If no one can go with you, then call someone and let them know. Then call while you're there and then call when you leave. Or... if you don't have anyone to call... make OWH think you do and you are (I dunno, just in case he does flip on you.)

Be strong and wise. We'll be here for you when you get back.
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 08:51 PM
Think about what you want him to do and think about any questions that you may have for him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 09:02 PM
ok. Thanks a million, Everyone. I'm supposed to call my mom when I leave. And I'll tell her the location, etc. I can't think of anyone to take with me...bro & sis are in different states...but doggone it, I'm going!

I'll check in later on.

Thanks again.

Charlotte
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/30/07 10:37 PM
My thoughts are with you. Hope things go as well as can be expected.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 12:29 AM
I am back. Shocker: H hasn't been here to collect any of his belongings. I thought he might come while I was gone or stay at work with her. He did call here at 4:52, though, when I was on the road to meet OWH.

OWH took it pretty well, he didn't look everything over right away. We talked a while, I told him what I knew, he told me a bit of what he knew. He said he'd deal with it in his own way, I thanked him for meeting with me and wished him good luck. I told him I hoped he decided to try and save his marriage even though the evidence makes it seem pretty hopeless. I offered to direct him to help if he needed it and told him to call if he had any questions. His brother was with him so he brought someone with him after all.

I was afraid he wouldn't show but he said he knew I didn't drive into town much and the fact that I was driving into town showed him I was serious.

I warned him that there was some mighty explicit stuff in the evidence and I couldn't stand to read it. He said, "Well, is it in there? I'll read it!" I told him, yes, it was there and he was much braver than I because I couldn't stand to look at it.

I am now here waiting to see if H has the courage to come home and face me. I called BIL and H hadn't called him yet.

I still have his laptop...I'm not going to put it back where it was and I'll tell him I have it in a safe place to use for negotiation because he stole so much money from our account for use to further his affair. I hope this is okay. If he shows up I will not argue with him but will be pleasant. I will not be goaded. I have a headache now and I don't have the energy to get dragged into a fight with him. Bedsides, I don't want to do any LB's.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 12:34 AM
Sounds good. I was getting worried.

I wouldn't hide his laptop. You got what you needed, and it will make him angry if you don't let him have it. I would make copies of any evidence you have and store those somewhere that hubby won't find.

Is your state a no fault state?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 12:41 AM
Yeah. I read up on divorce laws a few weeks ago so I would have the knowlege if necessary. That was before I decided to take action. Maybe part of me knew it was coming.

Thanks for your support, believer. And everyone else out there, too. I don't think I could have gone through with this without you guys rallying for me.

Now I'm waiting to see if he shows up. I kinda want to bake some cookies but I'm so tired and worn from the adrenaline finally dying down that I just wish I could go sleep right now. I'm not, though. I want to see if he has the guts to face me.

It's so funny, kinda...when I was on the road the a/c apparently wasn't working, I guess it went out. And the passenger side mirror on the outside came loose and is just hanging by a cord. It was almost like something was trying to stop me...I didn't stop. The mirror is still hanging and I rolled down the windows for air. We had a beautiful sunset today. Too bad H wasn't here to share it with me.
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 12:48 AM
Charlotte,

Where in TX are you located? I am in Houston and can recommend a VERY good family law attorney.

Regards,

BB
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 12:51 AM
Hi BB,

I am very close to Houston.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:02 AM
Quote
Hi BB,

I am very close to Houston.

I am just south of PEARLAND on Hwy 6.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:02 AM
I would go ahead and make some cookies. It is always good to have your home be a warm and welcoming place. I think your husband is going to be too afraid to face you right now. We'll see.

Try to pamper yourself, and pat yourself on the back. You have done just fine.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:04 AM
That's funny, Melody...you are VERY close to H's AP and her H!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:05 AM
I think you're right on both counts, believer. And thanks for believing in me. I'll go ahead with the cookies since I took the butter out earlier. Hopefully I can finish before Law & Order-SVU...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:20 AM
Charlotte, I just got myself all caught up on your thread since I was in meetings and then the airport all day today. Great job!!

It will be important to keep up the pressure, call his FATHER, mother [?] and tell the kids. NOW. The kids should be told. Dr. Harley would tell you to tell the kids, because they can deal with the truth, they can't deal with lies. They have every right to know the truth about their dad. Kids are not protected by lies.

Another thing, whatever you do, don't tell your H what you are doing again. For example, he should not be told about your exposures in advance because that will give him and the PIG a chance to pre-empt you and spin the story. They will call folks up and tell them you are nuts. So, whatever you do, don't forewarn him again.

And lastly, can you download a keylogger [they are $99] on his laptop RIGHT NOW while you have the chance so that reports are emailed to you? You can do this quickly and I can help you if you will do it. That may you can monitor his activity on that computer and you won't lose that as a resource.

Also, you don't have to show him your evidence. He already knows he is in an affair so don't show your hand unless you have to.
Posted By: sweetsobriquet Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:53 AM
******************edit***************
Posted By: Orchid Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:57 AM
Quote
**************edit**********

SSB.... and your point is? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:59 AM
what was that odd noise?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Orchid Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:02 AM
Quote
what was that odd noise?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

....an SSB poppin'! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

So what am I missing here? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Was that a drive by post? Haven't seen one of those in a while. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:06 AM
She's a troll who's been stalking Mel Orchid. Nothing to see here......
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:06 AM
gloryb
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:09 AM
WOW Justuss is quick these days.
Brit's Brat, I'll take you up on your offer. For all I know H is holed up somewhere with his AP and intends to see a lawyer instead of go on their trip.

Melody, done & done with the keylogger...

I guess H will wait until I'm not here tomorrow and skulk in to grab some stuff. I shouldn't try to call him or anything? I don't have any desire to call him at all right now. If he calls, I will not answer. He has to face me sooner or later.
I am holding up pretty good. I don't feel any sorrow at the moment so I don't feel like crying. I feel relieved that I went through with the exposure. Is this what it means to take back power? Is that why I feel this way? I took the power back? Is that it you wise MB'ers?

I may feel different if H does show up and starts trouble. I'm curious as to how I will react. I don't feel any anger right now. I hope he is okay. I do sort of wish he would leave me a message on VM so I know he's okay. I hope OWH is okay.

But anyway, is that why I feel this way? Am I going to crash and burn in the a.m. or will I feel this way for a while?
Charlotte, I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and your marriage!! sniff... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

i would just stand back and let him come to you. Don't let him see that you are worried or scared. If he calls, don't apologize, just ask him when he plans on ending his affair.

When BobPure exposed his wife's affair, he said he turned into a KNIGHT from a SERF. No longer did he feel scared. You just took the reigns back on your own life, Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Oh, there will be ups and downs. You are doing a good job. But tomorrow you might feel bad again. That is why we call it the rollercoaster. Just trust that you are doing the best thing to save your marriage.

They may have gone on a trip together, or even moved in together. My ex and OW moved in together, and then he swore for 3 years that they weren't living together.

Look at him as a drug addict that will do whatever to get his fix. She sounds nasty though.

Be good to yourself and do things that will make you feel good. For most of us, our self-esteem was in the toilet for awhile.
You're right Melody Lane...I don't feel scared. So that IS it then. I wish I'd have had the courage to do this long ago. I didn't know about MB when I found the first confirmation of the A, though.

I am just a bit worried about OWH...when he gets done with all of the material (if he hasn't already but I'm sure he has) he's going to realize that he's lost his SO...she is lost in the fog with my H. I just hope there is no violence and no one gets hurt. My mom is REALLY worried about this...she lost her older brother this way. His best friend murdered him because they were both in love with the same woman. I was probably 5-years-old when this happened.
Thank you, believer and thank you, Melody (I neglected to thank you in the last post, sorry!) I am a bit worried about how I feel in the morning but I'll come here and hang around. Then maybe it won't be so bad. I'm sure I'll drive by our house from time to time to see if H is here.
you are not home??
I'm home now. I won't be tomorrow.
Quote
I may feel different if H does show up and starts trouble. I'm curious as to how I will react. I don't feel any anger right now.

Charlotte, make a DECISION now about how you will react so that you don't react emotionally. DECIDE to be calm and firm in your stance with no apologies and no explanations. If he acts hysterically, which they often do, simply tell you are sure sorry he in this state and leave the room and shut the door. You don't have to tolerate his abuse. If he doesn't stop, then call the police.

The OWH has a right to know about the affair and you need no justification.

But the important thing is for you to put your FEELINGS ASIDE, because they will mislead you. Rather, make RATIONAL DECISIONS not based on feelings.

also, if you need to talk to someone tomorrow, you can call me. Just email me and I will give you my # if you feel like talking.
Quote
I'm home now. I won't be tomorrow.

gotcha!
Thank you, Melody. I will NOT let him get to me. I have decided. I am going to keep to the plan. NO LB's!! But I will protect myself if need be.
Posted By: Orchid Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 03:05 AM
Quote
She's a troll who's been stalking Mel Orchid. Nothing to see here......

WHAT? Stalking Mel? Well that's one crazy creature. What a foolish thing t/d. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Dumb Bunny!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Charl,
Sorry for the slight threadjack.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Mel looks like she hasn't skipped a beat on her support with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> That's why we all love her so. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 03:22 AM
That's okay, Orchid. No biggie.

I was thinking about H again...geez when will he stay out of my head for 5 minutes? Actually I have been able to put him out of my head from time to time.

Anyway, he could be doing a number of things but I think he probably got really stressed out and took too many Soma and he's probably asleep somewhere. They might have gotten a room somewhere or he might be at work asleep.

When this thing first started he was taking too many pills and drinking scotch...he'd go through a giant bottle nearly every week. Then he finally quit after I came home one day and found him passed out on the floor wrapped in a chair that had fallen on him. I couldn't get him up and tried and tried and finally called 911. I didn't want him to choke on vomit and die even though he was cheating. He was talking to his AP when this happened and at that time it was still mostly an EA.

The screen was left up so I closed it after reading it but did not log out of IM. So after he got back on with her the next day he was asking if she received any messages from me, anything mean or something like that was what he said. She said no why would I? And I was like, yeah, why would you? I only emailed her ONE time and she didn't have the balls to write me back.

She talked plenty of trash about me, though, and still does.
How said that H wouldn't defend his own wife from that harridan.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 03:34 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[[Orchid}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 03:36 AM
For a long time, after the initial anger had worn off, I forced myself NOT to think unkind thoughts about H's AP. If I did I would apologize and take it back.

I wanted to forgive H and her so I wouldn't harbor any ill feelings. I never told H about this.

Well, I guess I'm going to go to sleep now. Thanks again for all of the love and support.

So, should I leave a note on the door for him when I leave? Nah, I guess that's not a good idea.

Goodnight, All!!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 03:50 AM
Quote
For a long time, after the initial anger had worn off, I forced myself NOT to think unkind thoughts about H's AP. If I did I would apologize and take it back.

I wanted to forgive H and her so I wouldn't harbor any ill feelings. I never told H about this.

Do you see how this approach has enabled evil, Charlotte? First off, you are SUPPOSED to think unkind things about evil people. You are SUPPOSED to have ill feelings about EVIL. Decent people are SUPPOSED to be outraged about evil. Jesus Christ is OUTRAGED by evil. If you are not outraged by evil, then you are either a) on heavy doses of narcotics, b) have no conscience or c) are morally dead. None of which are GOOD. Not having ill feelings about evil is not a sign of mental health but a sign of serious dysfunction.

I would like to show you something that Dr. Harley wrote about forgiveness, Charlotte, that makes great sense. He explains how handing out forgivness without repentence is not in your H's best interest. This practice has only harmed him and enabled him to continue to destroy you, himself and his marriage.

Can't We Just Forgive and Forget?
by Dr. Willard Harley

excerpt:
Quote
I'm in favor of forgiveness in many situations, but this isn't one of them. In the case of infidelity, compensation not only helps the offended spouse overcome the resentment he or she harbors, but the right kind of compensation helps restore the relationship and prevents the painful act from being repeated.

In most cases, an offended spouse would be stupid to forgive the wayward spouse without just compensation. It's like forgiving a friend of the $10,000 he owes you, when it's actually in the friend's best interest to pay you in full because it would teach him how to be more responsible with money.

entire article at: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5042_qa.html
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:25 AM
Charlotte! I am sooo proud of you. You HAVE taken back the power. You done good girl. I'm so grateful that Melody and the others jumped in after I had to leave work. I was worried that no one would be around to help you out after you came home. I shoulda known better. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You've got some of the best MBers helping you now (except for the drivebys, lol). You'll be fine.
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:39 AM
Charlotte,

E-mail me (legalbeagle86@hotmail.com) and I will give you the name of the two divorce attorneys that I think are really good. They each have their own styles. Also, let me know after you have my e-mail address so I can remove it from this post.

Regards,

Brit's Brat
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:43 AM
Thank you for that information, Melody. I understand. I will read this again later in the a.m. And thank you, princess meggy and to all of the other fantastic people here who have been so kind to help a stranger in need. I had forgotten there were such great people in this world because I was so stuck in this situation.

I am up now...I went to bed shortly after my last post and finally fell asleep after 3 hours or more. I woke up to the sound of my cell phone which I had taken to bed with me in the event I needed to use it to call 911.

Well, instead of needing to use it because someone broke in or my H showed up and was really mad and I had to call 911...OWH called me! I was more than shocked. I thought H and his AP were together somewhere bent on their "honeymoon vacation" or whatever the plans were. Nope. Instead, the AP went home and OWH had it out with her. She finally admitted to the A and was sad and remorseful because of the people she hurt. We talked at length and compared notes. I asked him to keep me updated if he could. He said he didn't know if he would do that but there was a possibility. I told him about everything I have learned and about the addiction they have to each other and the statistics on adulterous relationships.

He doesn't know what he's going to do yet...he's still absorbing this. I told him I was glad that he was handling it so well, I did very badly when I first found confirmation. I told him my intention was to try and save our marriage because I still love H...but there were no guarantees and H might end up killing any love I have left for him, or he might be so mad at me now that he goes straight to Plan D without looking back. I know he'll be super p.o.'ed at me if his wonderful toy dumps him.

I am trying to hang on and hoping for the best. H still hasn't called. At first I thought he was calling but I saw OWH's number and at first it didn't register that it was OWH but I knew it was important so by the time I flipped open the phone my mind realized who was calling.

I thanked him more than once for calling. He also said that he hoped maybe my H would go ahead and admit everything to me since his AP admitted everything to OWH. I told him I hope that happens but there are no guarantees and I haven't heard from H yet. I told him I guess H was afraid to face me. I also told him about trying not to harbor bad thoughts against his wife or H for engaging in this A. This may change for me now since Melody Lane gave me this information. I am still feeling A-OK and didn't cry too much when I had to go to bed by myself without my H with me, even though he was doing that thing where he's 80 miles away on the other side of the bed almost clinging to the side.

I was sad when he started to do this because I knew why. His skin even seemed to repel my touch when I touched him. Gradually he started coming back to my side a little bit and he would hold me from time to time or let me hold him. But he still did the 80 mile thing. I told him the other night that maybe he was doing this subconsciously because he was involved with his AP. I don't remember what he said to that...he may not have replied because it made him think or because he just didn't want to reply. But his skin gradually accepted me again and that had given me hope.

He started paying attention to me again and this gave me hope, although he wasn't as demonstrative as before and neither was I for different reasons...I didn't want to be rejected. But I did touch him from time to time, I tried every day to get a little closer to him.

I told OWH about this...that we used to be so demonstrative with our love for each other until H and his AP started the A. OWH said it was kinda like that for him but not a whole lot. She had him pretty snowed about the whole thing. She always managed to do a pretty good save with him and keep him in the dark. He did feel something wrong, though.

I told him that both of us would come out of this stronger whether our spouses were with us or not but I was hoping that my H would be with me at the end of this. OWH stated again that he wasn't sure what he was going to do so it might be over between them. Or maybe not. I hope they work it out and I told him so. I also said I hope it works out the way you end up wanting it to, with her or not. He said the same thing to me. Actually, I think he might have said it first.

So I guess we'll see what happens next. I'm a little scared to see H now. But I will be strong when I do see him. If he has the courage to go ahead and face me.

Well, I guess I'll go try to get some rest now...OWH told me he hopes I get some rest and I told him the same. I told him that we weren't living the lie anymore so that was a good thing. Of course on his end it's a little better since he was actually able to break through the fog of his wife, even though it may be temporary. I guess we'll see. He has a good support system but hasn't told his mom yet, he said he just didn't feel like talking to her about it yet but he will end up telling her.

Damn, he's brave! I wished I had been able to be as brave and I told him so but I was just so floored by the whole deal that I couldn't handle it for such a long time. Only after I had armed myself with knowlege was I finally able to break out of my OWN fog and do the right thing. And that was thanks to everyone here cheering me on and my family also.

Okay, I said I was going to try and get some rest so I'll go back to bed now. I'm feeling pretty good...I got the power back for myself AND OWH. I just hope H talks to me at some point. Maybe he'll stay away for a few days and then talk to me. Maybe he'll come get some stuff and leave to stay with his brother or he will get stuff and go on the trip with his AP. If he does I guess I'll just have to accept that. No choice, really. OWH said he won't accept any such thing, though. Good for him. Maybe I'll be even stronger because he is being so brave and strong. I hope he keeps in touch.

I told him it was too bad we couldn't have all been friends because I bet we would have had a good time together, the four of us. He agreed and said, "Yeah, but instead the two of them did what they did and started up with the A." I agreed.

Okay, I'm really outta here this time, I swear!

Thanks again to all the great folks here. I have a bag of metal cans in front of one of the doors and a couple of H's antennas leaning up against the doorjamb so if he tries to sneak in I'll hear him and if anyone else tries to sneak in I will hear them.

TTFN, everybody!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:44 AM
Oh, Hi, Brit's Brat! I'll get your email and I need to go get Melody's as well.

If you are still around I'll stick around for a few minutes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:49 AM
Okay, got it, BB.

Got Melody's too if you want to remove it, Melody.

Especially if that person who showed up earlier shows up again...don't want them to get it!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:02 AM
Okay, this time I'm REALLY going back to bed!!

G'night again, All!
Posted By: Orchid Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:06 AM
Charlotte,

Good for you on helping OW's H. Exposure is deadly to the A. :gin:

Get some rest and let us know how you are doing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.
Posted By: Bob_Pure Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:37 AM
Hi Charlotte !

Attagirl !

I learned that the cr[i][/i]ap of infidelity is only deep enough to drown a BS if they cringe down in it. Stand up and be dignified and it can't drown you.

Exposing was brave, and will cause a mess o' spite in your WS and OP but weather the storm with loving detachment. Its the writhings and thrashings of a cut snake, no more.

This stranger is proud of ya girl !
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:30 AM


Way to go Charlotte!

Don't apologize...loving detachment....protect yourself if need be.

I'll try to check back in later to see how you are doing. Remember you are strong.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:00 PM
I've been reading your thread Charlotte, although I haven't posted.

You are very brave, much more than you are willing to admit. I think you have done a fantastic job under the pressure of all this. Just know that there are a lot of people here rooting for you, cheering you on.

I'd rather let the experts here give you some advice, but just wanted to pop in and tell you what I just did.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 01:29 PM
I hope you're sleeping right now. That's excellent news about OWH. You did exactly what MB prescribes... you shined light into the darkness and secrecy of their affair. Are you going to continue exposing to others? I've heard it's best if you do it all at once for more impact. Rock the affair world in other words.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:05 PM
Quote
Hi Charlotte !

Attagirl !

I learned that the cr[i][/i]ap of infidelity is only deep enough to drown a BS if they cringe down in it. Stand up and be dignified and it can't drown you.

Exposing was brave, and will cause a mess o' spite in your WS and OP but weather the storm with loving detachment. Its the writhings and thrashings of a cut snake, no more.

This stranger is proud of ya girl !

Exactly what I lived. "A coward dies a thousand deaths; the brave man dies but one." I was a coward. Shriveled up.

Charlotte, wow, you did wonderful. I admire you greatly.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:13 PM
Thank you, Everybody, for all of your kind words of support and advice. (crying a little here now but not the sad kind.)

Still nothing from my H.

I wanted to check in real quick...I have to leave soon. I'll be back soon, though for a lengthier post.

Thanks again!
Posted By: Jean36 Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 02:16 PM
Charlotte,

Add me to the cheering squad. I remember being where you are and you are showing so much courage! After I confronted my OWH's, I didn't hear from my WH for four days. My mind was going crazy. Stay strong and keep breathing.

Did OWH say what OW's plan is?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 04:22 PM
Hi Jean36,

Thank you! OWH said she broke down and was very remorseful and regretful about the whole thing. He didn't say what she might be planning. I told him that they might go on their trip anyway, just to hang on to the fantasy a little longer. I said to him if that happens I guess we have to accept it. He said, "I don't have to accept any such thing!" I told him he was right, he didn't. But as for me, if they do go I don't see what we can really do about it.

She may have been out of the fog last night but who knows about this a.m.? As for H, I'm sure he's good and mad at me. I'd rather not see him until he cools off. There's a chance he just won't see me at all and go to Plan D. I don't know what I'll feel about that. But I am still feeling relieved that I'm not carrying the ugly secret of their adultery inside of me any longer.

And after I talked to OWH and posted here last night I started thinking about how different I felt, not just the relief. I deserve more than this, do I really want to try and work it out? For now, I am still going to try and do that, sticking to Plan A unless I'm advised to go to Plan B. I'm going to stick to our vows even though he didn't. I don't want to have any regrets about this so I am going to push forward and attempt to salvage our marriage no matter what he decides to do right now.

But he'll have to work pretty hard to prove to me he is worthy of me again. I'm not a bad person or crazy like he and his AP liked to make me out to be to justify their A.

I told OWH he had things a little bit better than me. He still retained his name in their correspondence...I was reduced to my first initial so I was basically turned into an object for them to use and abuse at will, no matter if I was "behaving" or if I was making noise about the A or the R of H and I. OWH was used and abused because she was so proud of the way she was able to fool him so I guess that's really faring no better than I did. So I take that back.

H would even make stuff up about me when I wasn't doing a thing so he could gain sympathy from her. So he was lying to her, too. If he "loves" her so much, why did he need to do that? If their "love" is so special and there's no other like it in the world then why did he have to lie to her too?

I guess in a way I understand why he was doing that and I'm sure if they are in contact he still will.

Do I need to go to Plan B if I don't hear from H or should I stick to Plan A still? I know there was some advice about that yesterday and I thought I could still do it but I'm unsure about this now. Anybody have any great advice? I'll probably be around here for most of the day.

I don't even want to drive by our house to see if H is there getting some stuff. Maybe I will, maybe I won't.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 04:59 PM
Quote
H would even make stuff up about me when I wasn't doing a thing so he could gain sympathy from her. So he was lying to her, too. If he "loves" her so much, why did he need to do that? If their "love" is so special and there's no other like it in the world then why did he have to lie to her too?

Ah Charlotte, you have discovered the great deception of the affair relationship...See the affair isn't about how your husband feels about the OW at all, instead it's about how she makes him feel about himself...And he manipulates her to get that feeling...HE LIES TO GET HIS FIX...Affairs are all about ego stroking...He's a broken man that feels terrible about himself-he needs to hear how wonderful he is though-that's the drug-that's the rush...all lies built on lies which leads to what else? but more LIES...Believe it or not, should you enter recovery with your husband your getting to read all of those lies will help you-You've seen first hand how false the whole thing is...You KNOW that that isn't love...He strokes her ego-she strokes his...that's all it is...

Charlotte, you are ROCKIN' this whole thing...I am SO proud of you! Great going!

Mrs. W
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 05:21 PM
Quote
See the affair isn't about how your husband feels about the OW at all, instead it's about how she makes him feel about himself...And he manipulates her to get that feeling...HE LIES TO GET HIS FIX...Affairs are all about ego stroking...He's a broken man that feels terrible about himself-he needs to hear how wonderful he is though-that's the drug-that's the rush...all lies built on lies which leads to what else? but more LIES...


Thanks for this in a nutshell, Mrs. W. I wish I knew this perspective years ago.....but at least I can start understanding it from now on.

Charlotte, good for you. Y'know, at times I wish I had gotten at least a 'thanks for the info' from OWH when I exposed. When I called (across the country EA) to tell him about his wife's affair with WH (which she had falsely claimed she had already confessed to him), he only said "thanks" to my confirming that HE and not an asst. would open a package (with incriminating evidence) marked PERSONAL.

He or his assistant may have chucked the entire package in the round file for all I know.

Keep posting and reading, Charlotte. You're doing great.

Ace
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:02 PM
Charlotte -

What is your living situation? I forget, does he own the home you are living in? Have you left? Are you working outside of the home?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:17 PM
Thanks Mrs. W and Ace!

That was a great explanation...I totally get it. I knew the ego stroking bit but the lying to her had me confused. I see now, thank you.

I talked to my IC for nearly an hour and he is proud of me, too, the way I handled things with OWH to make sure he'd be safe and all if he was totally devastated. I just thought it was the right thing to do because I remembered how I was when I found out. I can't really take credit for being a hero in that regard, I just didn't want him to end up physically hurt while emotionally devastated. I was worried about him because of his MS, too.

That's something that's bothered me this whole time...that my H could do what he did, knowing that OWH has this disorder. I even asked him at the very beginning. He just didn't seem to care. Neither did she. I was still monitoring them at that time, that was before I stopped and H just told her I asked, "What about OWH? How can you two do this to him?" And me, for that matter.

I hope he's doing okay and that he might call me again sometime. I was very grateful that he was able to do that this a.m. I didn't mind him waking me up at all and I was glad it wasn't H calling. I thanked OWH a lot during this call.

As far as H goes, I did go through some guilt about sending the letter to HR and his boss. I don't know if anything is being investigated, they certainly haven't called me yet. I'm trying not to feel guilty about this because they are the ones who were in the wrong, not me.

I really hope H breaks out of the fog at least a little bit so he can understand the devastation he has caused. I don't know if he can face it or not. I'm trying hard not to concern myself with what he is doing right now. I am worried about him, though. I don't want him to get depressed to the point where he hurts himself. I don't THINK he would do that, but I guess anything is possible.

He is the one that got himself in trouble with the law in July due to his action with his AP. He was with her before he left work that night. I know this because I called another coworker to ask when they had seen him last. He had called me to tell me he was on the way home and after he was a little over an hour late I didn't worry too much. But after 2 hours I just KNEW something had happened to him. I called Texas DPS to ask if there had been any accidents involving our car or my husband. I called family members, I called his coworker and I also called OWH so he could ask his wife if she'd seen him. OWH asked me why would his wife have seen him? She was asleep on the couch. I told him, "Well, because the do work at the same place and are friends..." so he asked and she lied, of course. I already knew then that they had been together because of the other coworker I called but I don't think I mentioned that part to OWH. I can't remember...I was too intent on finding H.

So I got ready to go out and look for him, called my FIL back so he and my BIL and my mom and other family members could call hospitals to see if he'd been admitted. I was going to drive his route to see if I could find the car or him, anywhere. That's when I got a call from the officer who picked him up. I think he knew that I had called because they put out an alert to the people on duty. He told me he had H and where he was taking him.

So I called everybody back and called a bailbondswoman to see what needed to be done. Sometimes I wish I had let him stew in jail a while but I couldn't do that to him so I managed to get him out.

So he gets a DWI and we borrowed money from BIL for a lawyer and so far the case has been postponed each time we go to court because the blood test results are not back yet.

This occurred because he was doing something he should NOT have been doing with his AP...at that point I think it was still an EA with maybe a little PA thrown in. I thought maybe this would snap him out of his stupor, but no.

We finally got a CD copy of the arrest 2 or 3 weeks ago. The lawyer said it looked really bad and there were parts where I agreed with him on that because H looks stoned out of his gourd and eyes at 1/2 mast like Chong in Cheech & Chong. The lawyer might see other things my eyes aren't trained to see, though and I told H this. He thinks it's not that bad, etc. But he didn't take it to work with him to share with his AP.

So while this A is going on we are having to deal with this. I was dealing with it more than him, though, handling the paperwork that we were sent, etc. If left up to H, his license would be revoked right now. I almost didn't take care of this, it was his mistake, but I figured if I didn't I would be blamed so I took care of it. Sometimes I wish I hadn't but then I would have been guilty of knowingly sabotaging him and I couldn't do that even though he was deep in the fog of the A at the time and treating me like crap. A couple of weeks later was when I talked to my PI friend an he advised that I stop monitoring because it hurt, don't put myself through it. My PI friend went through this with his wife, but she was a serial cheater.

So I stopped and I told H I was not going to interfere or go into HIS room or ask him questions from the doorway because they always talked crap about me when I needed to ask him something. I tried to remove myself from being a target. And waited and prayed and hoped that they would tire of each other soon. I stopped talking to him much at all and then he started paying a little attention to me again. It gave me hope. I tried to hang on. I was wrong. I am so glad that I found MB and everyone here. I don't know if I was directed by a higher power or if it was just chance but I am so grateful that it happened.

I feel free. I hope I can keep this feeling for a little longer...the relief, the weight gone from my shoulders, not keeping their ugly secret inside of me so I was totally stressed out day after day after day.

I'm a little afraid of the future but at least it will not be based on lies any more. I'm not going to do that. Ever again. I still hope H and I will be able to get through this and save our M, but if not, I'll be stronger and I'll have a better relationship with everybody in my family. My sister and I have gotten closer because of this and I am really glad. We were a bit estranged. Yesterday on the way to meet OWH I told her I loved her, I don't remember the last time I told her that. She loved me back. This is some of the good coming out of bad. That's a good thing.

Still hoping here...sorry this was so long, I tend to ramble sometimes!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:25 PM
You are a free woman. Not cobbling together a shield to cover shame that your H cheated. Not hiding anymore, for shame of your H's affair. You have your dignity and self-respect. And, if things go they way they often do on here, you will also have your marriage back, and a chance tomake it better than ever.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:26 PM
Hi believer. We are still paying the mortgage. There's not much left to pay on it. Maybe 5 years. It is in my name but it is ours. The land is in both of our names.

I was working eBay until my former SIL landed in town & I had to protect my nieces from her because she is a sociopath. It's kind of a long story so I won't get into it now. The other day H was blaming former SIL for a lot of our problems, too.

My grandfather got really ill after this and passed away about a year after the whole bad thing ended here. Former SIL and my bro divorced. She still had the kids and everybody was so worried. Finally my brother took her on and got custody so they are safe now. They are in CA.

As for me, I help take care of my grandma along with my mom and my aunt. My mom decided to pay my aunt and I for helping since it worked out better this way than hiring someone, which she really doesn't need yet at this point. She's still moving around pretty good. A little senile but that is to be expected. My grandparents lost one of my uncles when I was 5 to murder. My other uncle died in a horrible accident with an auger when he was building a fence on his land where he had a new house with his wife.

The ambulance couldn't find the place at first and then had to wait for he fire truck so Life Flight could land. By the time help arrived for my uncle he had lost almost all of his blood. For all intents and purposes he died there on his land but they did everything they could on Life Flight with transfusions and everything and I think they might have gotten him back a little but I'm not altogether sure about that.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:27 PM
Charlotte, just stay in Plan A a while longer. Will Human resources get your letter today? You DID give their full names and sign your name in that letter, right?

Another thing to think about when you speak to him is that in order for your marriage to recover he has to a) end all contact with the OW. That means he will have to LEAVE HIS JOB in order for this to work. The reason I bring this up now is because he may try to negotiate his way back but will try and con you into letting him continue to see her at work or be "friends." This will ABSOLUTELY not work. So if this comes up, I would lay it out NOW so he understands that this cannot work unless he leaves that job and ends all contact for life.

You sound like a new woman today, Charlotte. You picked up your weapon and SHOT BACK! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:39 PM
Thanks Bellevue!

I'm trying to be positive about that, yet realistic. Since the script is pretty much by the book at this time it does give me some hope.

I do feel different about him and if and when we do enter recovery...he will be the one that will have to prove himself to me. I am going to remain strong and true to my wedding vows and not falter.

I am hoping that everything that has happened will cause him to have some respect for me now. I am not going to be a crumb begging enabler anymore. I am hoping that once things cool off a bit he will be able to think clearer about my actions and understand that I am serious about this and this was done out of love, not anger.

I know this won't happen immediately if it even happens at all. I am hoping that this will eventually be what happens and we can recover.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 06:42 PM
Thanks Melody, I will do!

HR should have received the letter yesterday. I sent it overnight. H's boss maybe today, I sent it in a Priority envelope with return receipt.

Yes to both of their names in the letter. I don't remember if I signed it but mine was on there after "Regards."
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 07:28 PM
Okay, now I need a boost. H took another 200 out of our account today. I have an appointment with a lawyer recommended by BB. I'm starting to feel anger now. I'm not going to call H. I did a quick check at our home. He has not been there yet.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 07:32 PM
Get the money out of your account, Charlotte!
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:42 PM
Ditto Mel.

Drain that sucker immediately. Don't let him steal any more money from you.

You are doing great Charlotte.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:43 PM
Well, H has been to our home. He kicked some things around and left me notes with expletives.

I was going to go to the bank and I checked our account one more time and saw that he was in town. I'm sure he got gas on purpose because he knew I would be checking it. I decided to drive by to see if he was there. I wasn't going to stop if he was. He wasn't so I went in and saw what he did.

I left and came back to my g'ma's and after I pulled in the driveway my phone beeped. He had sent a text to me I guess when I was at our home but I did not get it until I got here.

He is SO p*ssed! I'm scared. I called 911 and told the police about what I did yesterday and that he was so mad I was afraid of him. They took my information and were very kind and understanding. They are going to be checking by here to make sure I am okay. They are now going to our house to see if H is there and will talk to him if he is.

I told them about his DWI and that he couldn't get pulled over or he'd lose his license, it's on probation until November thanks to me saving his *ss like I said in a previous post today.

I'm so scared I am shaking and crying a little. I guess he is so mad he will never forgive me. I'm scared to leave the house to go to the bank now. I have all of the doors locked and told my grandma not to answer if he shows up.

He is out of control. I'm scared, scared, scared. I guess I will not stay at our house tonight.

I have no way to lock him out in a way that he would not be able to get in and get at me.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:48 PM
has he ever been violent with you before?
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:51 PM
Can you call a friend to go to the bank with you?

What kind of notes did he leave? If there is anything at all threatening you can get an RO against him quickly. I went to get one but it was denied because my husband had not been violent and had not threatened to be violent. But you just go to the courthouse and go before the judge, and it is issued. It took me less than an hour.

Does he have any history of being violent?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:53 PM
No, but he is so mad now I don't trust him. I'm afraid he will hurt me. I can't take the chance. And I don't want to see him like that, either. He is probably more mad at me than he's ever been before.

What should I do? I had to call the police. I HAD to!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:54 PM
No specific threat so I guess he was being safe there. Barely legible scribbles but I could read them just find and the text message also. Plenty of expletives because he is SO MAD!

No history of being violent.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:55 PM
There's no one that can go with me right now to the bank.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:56 PM
well if he is currently DWI....and he gets picked up he's going to jail.....did he leave any notes with threats? those could be construed as evidence to get a R.O. if your that worried about it....aand he couldn't come home then....the man would have to be a fool to screw up when he's already on probation....call his probation officer and let him/her know whats up....and GET THAT MONEY OUT OF THE BANK....take someone with you...but get it out of there before he screws you over....call the bank and say his card has been stole or something...CUT HIM OFF!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:57 PM
And all that is going through my head now is that Eddie Money song, "No Control," if that's the correct title. I know it's in the chorus.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:57 PM
get a civil stanby if needed.....especially if he's at the house at all.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:57 PM
Just calm down, Charlotte, he just called you some bad names because you ruined his affair. Go to the bank and get your money out and go home. If he misbehaves, call the police and have his [censored] hauled to jail.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 08:57 PM
His anger will blow over. You just stole his crack pipe from him.

Can you stay in a motel for the night or with a friend?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:00 PM
I think I will stay at my grandma's tonight. I was supposed to get Halloween candy too, I promised my mom. Now I have all of the doors locked and I'm scared to even walk outside.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:00 PM
believer....you beat me too it....charolett....go to the bank...you will be in a public place...if he shows up and makes a scene...perfect...announce his adultery right there to everyone...he will shut up quick.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:02 PM
why are you letting him control you?

your giving him what he wants....fear....to stop you from living your life and shutting yourself up away where you can't do more damage for him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:05 PM
I don't want to leave my grandma here alone. If the cops were parked somewhere watching the house I would. But they are just going to be doing drive-bys right now.

I don't think it's worth the paltry amount he left in there to risk it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:07 PM
I will be at the bank before the doors open on Friday morning to get the money. I don't think the lawyer will be able to do anything in time.

If I can get there before he gets there from wherever he is staying it will be okay.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:08 PM
Maybe after I calm down I'll be able to go to the bank. I'll do it if I can calm down.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:11 PM
Charlotte, what has he done that has you so scared? All he did was leave you mean notes. You knew he would be mad. I don't get it.
Posted By: MrWondering Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:12 PM
Yea...if there's no money there right now you may be best off sitting back and trying to get money on friday immediately after the direct deposit of his wages takes place.

Fill the tank on your car and get some groceries to tide you over. Some grocery stores will allow you to take an extra $20 or $50 as a cash advance on a credit card too.

Stay calm. The more upset he is the better job you did.

Mr. Wondering
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:18 PM
Thank you Mr. W. I will do that.

Well, Melody, he has always kind of scared me when he was angry...I've just never been the target before. But he has never been this angry before. I was never scared that he would turn the anger on me when he was angry with someone else but he is scary when he is angry. Because his temperament is normally so calm and soothing.
Posted By: weaver Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:20 PM
If you still keep feeling so afraid, get some pepper spray and keep it handy. I used to carry it as a bartender going to my car at night. Used it once and it worked like a charm.

Quote
The more upset he is the better job you did.


Yes. And Charlotte, his anger will not last. In one of your earlier posts you said he would respect you more for standing up and fighting for your marriage. So don't you worry abou that either.

It could be you got all that adrenalin racing and causing some of your fear too. But still take precautions.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:21 PM
I guess I am being irrational about this. I am just scared and nervous now. I have calmed down somewhat, though.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:22 PM
Keep your cell phone with you, and call 911 if you are frightened of him.

The only good thing is that usually they calm down in a day or two.
Posted By: weaver Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:22 PM
Quote
But he has never been this angry before. I was never scared that he would turn the anger on me when he was angry with someone else but he is scary when he is angry. Because his temperament is normally so calm and soothing.


Well keep your cell phone handy and remember to lock the doors.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:22 PM
Thanks, weaver. I'll do that. I hope he has left town already to stay wherever he's going to stay.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:23 PM
Is he an alcoholic?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:25 PM
I really hope that's what transpires, believer.

He is not a person who easily forgives. Trouble is, he doesn't seem to realize that I AM the one who needs to forgive him for his devastation to our marriage and all of the other devastation left in the wake of their A.
Posted By: weaver Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:28 PM
Quote
Is he an alcoholic?

And if he is, for sure get the pepper spray, because they are so stupid they get right in your face.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:28 PM
No but he does take too much pain medication sometimes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:29 PM
I guess he didn't take enough of it today.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:30 PM
Don't be getting ahead of yourself.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:33 PM
In what way, big kahuna? I don't know which post you were responding to.
Posted By: AmIok Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:33 PM
You don't have to go to the bank to get money out of the account ... Find an ATM. Make an online transfer. Write yourself a check, into another account -- or do an electronic bill-pay check to yourself (that would get cut automatically by the bank then mailed to you). Lots of other options than going to the bank.

Just want you to know that this is normal. My H was furious when I exposed to his boss. He took the kids out of school and disappeared with them. Your M can survive his anger, it can't survive him continuing an A. It's nerve-wracking, but it'll be ok. Deep breaths and try to calm down. He's ticked, but hopefully too smart to actually hurt you - especially now that hte police have been called. Be cautious and smart, but don't get paralyzed or imprison yourself with fear.

-AmI.
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:42 PM
The more pissed off they are, the more damage exposure did to their affair. I'm sure he's pissed. He can't control you anymore. Now he's just lashing out at you. I know you are afraid, but try and calm down. Maybe have a little chuckle about how childish he is acting. He's just trying to bully you. His affair is crumbling. It will blow over in time.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:44 PM
Thank you AmIok.

He baited me over there...I guess I knew it was bait.

At least he stayed away and just sent a text. That means he was afraid of losing control so he stayed away from me?

I hope that's it.

That would mean he doesn't want to hurt me physically. Maybe I'm jumping at shadows for nothing. Every time a car drives by here and the reflection shines into the carport I get a little jumpy.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:47 PM
Thank you, Jim. I'm not at the chuckling stage quite yet. Maybe later. Or not. I don't know. Also my horse is at the utility room door that leads to the outside and she keeps banging it for me to go out there with her FOOD!!! I hear the bang and I'm afraid it's him sneaking in the back way.

I hope that I did do some major damage with the exposure.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:48 PM
I have to watch myself. I am so tempted to text him and tell him I can't talk to him when he's like this right now. But I don't want to do that. I don't think that would be productive at all.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:53 PM
It's been nearly 2 hours now. I'm about ready to go get that candy, I think. I'd sure like to try.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:53 PM
charlotte....I don't mean to sound harsh...you've done an excellent job....don't freak out now...but get a back bone....this is going to be a truly hard situation....sure he's mad....but you have to be able to stand up for yourself more and DO NOT show him your afraid of him or he will use it to his advantage....your at war right now....DO NOT show your fear to the enemy...get mad....think about it this way...you show your fear to him an he calls OW and they laugh about how worthless and meek you are and how he got away with it all....do you want that?

Break down after confrontations not before or during.....do it in private....but show that fearsome woman I know you have in there that will not put up with this crap.....get to that bank and do what you have to do.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:55 PM
Okay surviving. I think I am a bit better now. Did I do the right thing in calling the police? I think so. I didn't know what was going to happen.

I believe I'll be going to get that candy here in a few minutes.

I'll check back in when I get back. I told my grandma to NOT answer the door if he shows up.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 09:58 PM
yes calling the police was excellent...you had cause for concern...it has been noted...and if anything happens(which i don't think it will) it's evidence against him for being such a [censored].....you shold have taken pictures of the destruction in the house...even tho it's community property it displays his character.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:27 PM
And feed that horse..........
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:46 PM
I'm back. I think I'll do that later, surviving. Maybe tomorrow.

And I'll feed her asap, believer. I just got done telling my bro everything.

I drove by our house but now sign of H. I guess he finally left, thank goodness!

I don't know if the cops were able to talk to him, I should have told them to call me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:54 PM
Okay, I have another question. I have 2 different programs on H's pc. I'm thinking of telling him how to get into one of them so maybe he won't bother looking for any other. Do you think I should do this? That's provided he doesn't do a back-up and wipe the whole thing clean.

I don't know if this is a good idea. It would be deceptive but I have no reason to trust him. What should I do? The one I recently added is able to be viewed remotely. I was afraid the other one would use up too many resources and alert him.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:56 PM
Quote
He is not a person who easily forgives. Trouble is, he doesn't seem to realize that I AM the one who needs to forgive him for his devastation to our marriage and all of the other devastation left in the wake of their A.

Charlotte I was referringto this post.

Don't get ahead of yourself. It was a little crazy with posts flying back and forth earlier. LOL.

Do get in contact with MelodyLane. She will be able to help you in person. My FWW and I spend a few days with her and her husband earlier this year.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 10:59 PM
Charlotte...

I noticed that Mel gave you her email and an offer of her phone number...I can't tell you what a WONDERFUL offer that was...I REALLY hope you will consider talking with her...She is a terrific friend to have...She has soothed me on many occasions when I've been upset...Her words have acted like salve to my soul...Just wanted to let you know that would be a very safe and wise place to get advice...

Mrs. W

P.S. You are certainly welcome to email Mr. W and I too...Our email addy is in my signature! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:00 PM
C22:

About this:

"Okay, I have another question. I have 2 different programs on H's pc. I'm thinking of telling him how to get into one of them so maybe he won't bother looking for any other. Do you think I should do this? That's provided he doesn't do a back-up and wipe the whole thing clean."

DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

You tell him about one, he will suspect more, and look for them.

You are the only one who needs to know.

LG
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:10 PM
Agree with Lousygolfer!

Thanks for the vote of confidence, MrsW and BigK. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:15 PM
Thanks, big kahuna, Mrs. W, and LG...

I emailed Melody earlier today because she gave me her address but I haven't heard from her in person yet. I gave my cell# in the email also. I would love to hear a calm voice right now.

Here is the latest: H has changed the PW on our bank account in a feeble attempt to get my attention. I had enough time to call the bank and verify that he did not close the account. Then I signed up with MY SS# so I can get account access again. I will be going there in the a.m. to talk to someone about this. And maybe I'll just pull out what's left in there while I am there.

I don't think he wants to close the account because it was one he had before he and I got together so in total he's had that # for nearly 20 years.

At least he did not close it. I can still gain access. Trying to control me and get me to call, I guess...or react. I ain't gonna.

And I'll meet with the lawyer tomorrow. All he's doing is making me mad because he thinks I will cower in fear by dangling this over my head. This is pretty low of him. But I am not going to let him get to me.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:17 PM
i think you need to react sooner.....with the bank thing...he's already trying to stop your access.....i have a bad feeling he's gonna screw you over especially when the direct deposit comes in.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:18 PM
Charlotte, did you get my email with my phone #s?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:19 PM
I am going up there in the a.m., surviving. I have the name of the person I need to talk to and the lady that was kind enough to help me on the phone so close to closing time is going to give her my info. I'll go there right at opening.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 10/31/07 11:20 PM
I will look now, Melody...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 12:32 AM
Charlotte, it was great talking to you. Here is the outline of Plan A, which is the plan we discussed:

The Carrot and the Stick of Plan A

The carrot of Plan A


Meeting your wandering spouse's emotional needs.

Making "home" a warm and inviting place to be.

Placing emphasis on what has worked in the marriage.

Showing consistent self improvement in areas where previously lacking.

Stop lovebusting behaviors.

Communicating with a calm reassuring voice and relaxed body language, even in the center of a verbal storm created by the infidel.

Becoming the person any reasonable spouse would want to come home to.

Remaining open to the possibility of recovery.

Offering forgiveness and understanding.



The stick of Plan A


Exposing adultery where it matters most. Exposure that takes the form of a swift and sudden unexpected tsunami of truth.

Not appologizing for exposure or speaking the truth in a kind yet direct way.

Directly communicating the hurt and devastation that the affair has caused.

Not accepting blame for the infidel's choice to become adulterous.

Let the consequences of adultery and infidelity fall freely upon the heads of the adulterous.

Establishing boundaries that disallow the affair to effect children of the marriage, financal security of the marriage, and otherwise ruin innocent bystanders.

Standing up to infidelity as a beast that must be slayed for the good of the family.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Plan A is both a *carrot* and a *stick*.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 12:50 AM
Charlotte - I am a bit concerned about your husband's drinking and pain pills. Did he get the DWI while drinking or taking the pain pills?

And all the stuff you did to be sure he retained his license is more like enabling, NOT letting him face the consequences of his actions.

Does he have a history of driving under the influence of substances, or are you telling us this was the ONLY time it happened?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 12:55 AM
Thanks Melody! I replied to your email.

believer, he was arrested in December in our county December 18th to be exact.

He had gone to the dentist & had taken 1/2 of a pain pill on the way home when he got pulled over.

My mom paid to bail him out and we went and picked up the car and went home.

I keep telling him that he needs to tell our lawyer on this case about the previous arrest. He can't seem to grasp that the DA WILL find out about this because they WILL check his record if they haven't already.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 01:03 AM
So other than the two arrests, he NEVER drinks/does pills and drives?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 01:17 AM
After he got involved with his AP, he started knocking back those giant bottles of scotch the Special Blend Crown Royal. He was going through about a bottle a week. The AP is a big drinker so I guess he was trying to keep up.

One day I came home and he was wrapped in a chair on the floor passed out. I tried to get him up but he was so out of it he kept falling. I tried several times then finally gave up and called 911.

I didn't know until later how much damage I did to my shoulder. I'm still having problems that need to be addressed with it. I haven't thrown that up in his face AT ALL. I just let him know when it hurts and NEVER say thanks a lot this was because of you. NEVER.

Anyway, after that he stopped knocking back so much scotch. Before all this we were almost teetotalers, we maybe drank once a year, on New Year's usually.

I guess my calling 911 freaked out him out enough so that he stopped hitting the bottle so much, maybe once in a while. It was in July when this happened, not long after his arrest.

In fact, I ended up finishing that bottle because the stress was getting to me so bad.

The pills were bad then too. He got better about it, I stopped taking pain meds for my shoulder or anything else and cleaned up my act. I had a bit of a problem with that for a while.

So after a while he began telling me that he wasn't taking so many pills. That was good. Lately, though, he's been hitting them harder. I don't know if it was the stress of the A, guilt from the A, the work problems or what because I wasn't "misbehaving" to cause him to be hitting them so much.

That's been what some of the money out of our account has gone for...online drugs.

He's probably hitting them pretty hard right now. He had been giving me a few here and there when my shoulder got bad and I was careful not to overdo it. When I found myself going back for more I told him to take the bottle to work because I wasn't going to ride that pony again.

I think since I've been "misbehaving" lately he was giving me more to try and shut me up, too.

And she has been getting into the pills since this thing started pretty heavy also. And her H is VERY against the pill thing because he's had friends get really messed up over this. So I'm sure she's been hiding all of her usage from him. She also has her own account, so it is easy for her to spend money he knows nothing about.
Posted By: believer Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 01:38 AM
I was just wondering because my sons' dad turned into an alcoholic and meth user. It finally killed him off. And he didn't start using until he was 40.

Your husband's not thinking the DWI was a big deal, neglecting to take care of it and not being worried about a past one is a big red flag. His life is spiraling downward. Be aware of that and get some help if you find yourself enabling him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 01:59 AM
Thanks, believer. I will definitely not be an enabler anymore, in any way, shape or form.

I just got off the phone with our oldest boy and he listened to everything I had to say and said that he was sorry his dad did this thing to me. I woke him up when I called and felt bad about that but I went ahead, anyway. I told him that if he wants to tell his mom he can do that, too. I apologized to him about the money situation because we were going to give them some money to help them out again but that his dad had been stealing money from our account to use to further the A.

I told him his dad was really mad right now and he'd probably cool off in a few days. I told him I hoped his dad would bring the money to them.

He told me to be careful because I told him I had to go home & grab some things, which I'm going to do right now.
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 02:28 AM
Quote
He told me to be careful because I told him I had to go home & grab some things, which I'm going to do right now.

How far does his son live? Is he currently at work? Why didn't he offer to go with you?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 02:31 AM
I'm back. No H anywhere and it didn't look like he was back to take anything else...it looked the same. He forgot his alarm clock, toothbrush, deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, etc. But I guess he has enough MONEY to buy all of that since he took so much out of our account, eh?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 02:32 AM
The neighbors scared me because I heard a car door slam and went running to make sure there was no ambush. I drove around before I stopped, though, just to make sure he wasn't lurking anywhere.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 02:37 AM
Hi BA1,

He has to go to work pretty soon, he works the night shift. At a warehouse about 10m away.

I was A-OK though, if he was lurking I wanted to go myself anyway to make sure he knew he couldn't scare me away although I am staying at my mom's/grandma's tonight.

My mom's house burned down in '97...the house still stood but it was almost totally gutted. She's been staying here since. This was another thing we had to deal with in our marriage and came through with flying colors, then. I was pretty devastated because it was my childhood home. We moved back here when I was in the 4th grade. We moved around a lot because my dad was in the army.

Oh yeah, my sister called my dad and told him and my step-mom what was up. I was glad she did because I didn't get a chance today due to all of the drama. I did talk to him briefly, though. My mom told me that my sis said my step-mom got really upset because her dad cheated on her mom.
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:01 AM
Charlotte, do you really want him back? He cheated on you constantly, lied to you again and again, and you're actually scared of your life because of him. Can you ever trust him again? Where do you see this "relationship" or "marriage" going?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:11 AM
sigh........ BA, salvaging her marriage is the point here, in case you hadn't noticed.

Charlotte, BA [[censored] artist] has been on this forum for one whole week, knows nothing about MB, yet feels qualified to advise people and has appointed herself "bestadvisor." [note the self appointed "best advisor"] You night want to put her on ignore.

Can you not troll elsewhere, BA? Like maybe the general denistry board?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:11 AM
I don't know, BA1. At this point I still want to try and work it out, though after I talked to OWH this early a.m. wee hours I started thinking about that because I do feel different now. I still love him but something is different. Maybe something inside me has finally come to terms with what he has done since I am free of the guilt of their affair and keeping their secret inside.

I don't know. After I woke up this morning for the 2nd time I still wanted us to work it out somehow.

After his out of control actions and subsequent attempts to manipulate me via our bank account...I am resigned to the fact that he wants to be a jerk right now because he is so p.o.'ed.

I'll just calmly get this taken care of tomorrow so he can't use this on me anymore. He will then see that he can't do this and expect to get away with it.

Then I don't know what he'll do to try and get to me. Maybe he will have calmed down by then. I don't know how long it will take him to calm down but he sure can't maintain that level of anger for very long without suffering the consequences.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:13 AM
Charlotte, your marriage is far from over. Don't let people like BA, who know nothing, convince you this is hopeless. It is NOT.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:16 AM
Hi Melody,

I AM going to be staying at our home again soon, maybe tomorrow night. I don't know if H and his AP went on their little trip but he is obviously supposed to be off so I hope he is not lurking around again. He will likely overmedicate tonight so maybe he'll be so wiped out tomorrow he won't be able to move around much.

When he has a stressful even he gets really bad tension headaches and sometimes he is incapacitated. I am hoping this will be the case so I can take care of business at the bank unencumbered in the a.m.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H...... - 11/01/07 03:18 AM
Thanks Melody, I really have not given up yet! Though there is something different which I tried to convey but I don't know if that's what it is, I still love him. The best outcome will be for us to work things out and come out on the other side stronger than ever.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:20 AM
Charlotte...

Your marriage is salvagable...Something perhaps for you to consider...I once was a horrible, horrible WW...I have come full circle...Have fully repented and been forgiven...I thank God DAILY, sometimes more than once, that Mr. W chose to forgive me...I love him so fully and completely-we have a happy and recovered marriage...People can and do change...Your husband most certainly can become a man that you would be proud to love again...With God, all things are possible...

Mrs. W
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:21 AM
Charlotte, I know you are dealing with enough stress from your situation which is pretty hard right now. I want to caution you against negative postings that seek to discourage you from following through with the Plan A and other positive guidance.

You can trust posters who have recovered their marriages after affairs. You can trust those who went through the hard times of Plan B. You can trust me, who failed to implement the exposure of Plan A. I testify to the failure to use the Harley methods, from bitter first-hand experience.

You should trust those here who are very very familiar with the Harley method and worked to know it inside and out.

I am not sure of Best's agenda. I don't know his/her history.

After all the years I have posted/read here, your story is par for a well-executed exposure. It's a classic. I'm pulling for your reconciliation and rebuilding.
Posted By: Unfettered Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:22 AM
Charlotte,
I have been following your whole story and you have been doing really well. I admire your bravery in the face of this.
One note of caution though...after you go collect the money out of that account Friday a.m. you might want to go somewhere "safe" like a friend's or your mother's. If he is going to get so mad that he turns violent, it will probably be after he realizes his paycheck is gone.
Wouldn't want to see you get hurt in any way.

Be cautious, be safe, and be strong!
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:27 AM
Charlotte22, ***edit***** I never asked you to give up; I was merely asking questions based on the circumstances and not making statements. *******edit*******
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:29 AM
What do you want here, BA? Why can't you leave this woman alone?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:30 AM
Thanks Mrs. W!

Yesterday when I was on the way to meet OWH and I was talking to me sister she said, "I guess they weren't counting on how smart you are," or words to that effect and I said, "Yep, I guess H forgot. He used to call me "McGruff" because of the detective in me," and because I did such a bang-up job busting my former SIL when she was doing her thing around here (Houston, Austin, etc.)-she was going to mortuary school and prostituting herself on the side and she was putting my nieces in danger. She got my wind up because of the flimsy reason she gave about this "work on the side." After that I found a list of men in her car and the heat was on!!

It didn't work out that good initially because of family pressures, etc. but they are safely in bro's custody now. So I learned to really have a lot of patience during that whole debacle and I learned to keep my mouth SHUT. Which helped a lot with H and this disgusting A.

Don't show your "tells." Yep, I learned that lesson really well.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:32 AM
BA, what you are doing is using FEAR to try and discourage someone who is in the middle of a major crisis...FEAR is NOT of God...Knowing that, what is your purpose here? I believe I know...

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 11/01/07 03:39 AM
Thanks Bellevue and andrew3!

Earlier I felt like the Cowardly Lion who finally realized he really had courage.

Then I felt like Dorothy, who was getting help from Glenda the Good Witch and the Wicked Witch of the West was shaking her fist saying, "Curses! Somebody always helps that girl!" (Thinking of H being so p.o.'ed & H's AP finally realizing I'M WASN'T BLUFFING.)

My Scarecrow finally remembered that he had a brain and used it to go through with Exposure.

And Tin Man has never left. His heart stays true.

And H will someday realize, "There's no place like home."

I don't want to get cocky but I still feel A-OK even though I'm a bit wired right now still from the trip home.

In fact, I think I'm going to go peruse the parking lots of the hotels in town, there aren't many, and see if H is lurking around there in hopes of getting to me tomorrow. He's probably not in town but he could surprise me. Oh yes, he very well could.
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:40 AM
Quote
BA, what you are doing is using FEAR to try and discourage someone who is in the middle of a major crisis...FEAR is NOT of God...Knowing that, what is your purpose here? I believe I know...

Mrs. W

What is with you people drawing conclusions without any substantial or remote facts. What's the talk about my "purpose," "motive," etc. I was merely asking few very reasonable questions under the circumstances. She answered my question honestly and I believe it helps her evaluate and gettig closer to her true feelings and what she really want and at this moment, none of us including her knows what it is.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:43 AM
What do you want here, BA? You know nothing about Marriage Builders, have been here one week yet are advising newcomers [with very bad advice, i might add]. What are you doing here?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:45 AM
Charlotte, you spoke of feeling differently toward your husband. You are speaking like a woman who has rediscovered her backbone. You are standing up for yourself. Self-respect is glowing out of your skin.

You still love him because that is the decision you took when you took your vows. You know what loving is. It's not an emotion. It is the action you have taken to fight for your man. It is your commitment to your vows.

You were so scared, you still are. And yet you don't give up. Someday your husband will see the woman he married and be so proud of you for fighting for your marriage.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:54 AM
Thanks Bellevue. I pray you are right. And you may very well be right on the money because of the following, which I forgot to share:

When this whole thing started, or rather when I found confirmation of the A, something inside of me was telling me that we were going to make it through this okay, even though I was so devastated. It was more than mere optimism and I still don't know why I felt this. I had forgotten about this in all of the excitement of the last couple of days.

A voice inside telling me that we would make it through. I told my sister about this when I went to stay with her a few days after the confirmation of the A.

And it stayed with me. Sometimes I would forget about it but it would come back to me again.

I'm not sure what to make of it. Maybe I'm just full of it. Maybe it was a voice from above. I don't know for sure. Maybe I never will know.

Maybe it's what directed me here to all of you wonderful, loving people who have been so kind to help me out.

Thanks a million again! I can't say, "Thank you" enough to you great folks!
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:55 AM

Chatlotte, if you are in such fear for your own safety, there must be reasons for that. So, stay away from him physically and if he wants to communicate, he can do it by calling you.
Posted By: LowExpectations Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:02 AM
Charlotte22,

You are doing a great job. Keep up the good work.

-LE
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:15 AM
Quote
Sometimes I would forget about it but it would come back to me again.


Hey Charlotte - I'll be here on the Night-Shift... I can't add a thing to the great advice you're already getting, but I wanted you to know that I'll be around if you need to talk...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: believer Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:21 AM
Awwww RIF - you're a good guy.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:22 AM
Quote
Hey Charlotte - I'll be here on the Night-Shift... I can't add a thing to the great advice you're already getting, but I wanted you to know that I'll be around if you need to talk...

Semper Fi,

RIF

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:45 AM
Hey LE and RIF, thank you!!!!!

I'll probably be around. I have a good idea I won't sleep much tonight. Too wired. No sign of H at any of the hotels. I feel better.
Posted By: believer Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:48 AM
You've really had an exciting last couple of days. I hope you will pamper yourself tonight. Give yourself a BIG pat on the back, and try to relax a little.

I remember the horrible sleepless nights, the inability to eat, and the constant obsessing. It was awful. But even though I ended up divorced, I'm happy again. You'll get there too.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 05:05 AM
Hi believer. Thank you.

I had such bad nights at the start of this. And bad days, thinking H was going to run off while I was taking care of my grandma. That he was going to go home and grab crap and just take off.

That's because of what I read when I was monitoring at the beginning.

"She" was talking about the "plans" re: renting a u-haul and running away to Colorado. There were a couple of other scenarios but I don't remember what they were. At that time, I know H had taken some DVD's and stsshed them at work. I commented on this, that we seemed to be missing some, and he reported to her about what I said.

I think he was telling her what happened when he left his first wife and her reaction. She totally trashed his stuff and threw most of it out in the garbage. Photos and negatives (one of his hobbies) and everything else. That he could even THINK I would DO something like that brought me even lower than I already was.

I didn't care about the dvd's, (except maybe the Planet of the Apes collection <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) just the fact that he stashed some at work. So I was extremely paranoid. I couldn't let on that I knew so I was careful when I brought up that I knew we were missing some but it was SO OBVIOUS, I didn't think I had to worry. He had some BS story about copying them for people, etc.

Well, obviously he knows that I am past that now, he knows I was afraid he would leave. I knew what I had to do and knew this would likely cause that to happen but I couldn't let that stop me.

So here I am now. I'm not missing him real bad yet because I am angry about the manipulation and need to take care of this area. And I don't want to see him right now in his present condition.

So I'm good right now.
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 05:06 AM
Hey Charlotte,

You're welcome! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Please do try and get some rest... I know how hard it is when your emotions are high and there are a lot of 'unknowns'...

The good thing in this is that you have a pretty good idea of what's going on. Most WS will stay pretty close to the "WS Script", and that's what all of the great advice you're getting is coming from... these people have lived it and know what they're talking about.

You did a very brave, honorable thing today...

I've got some meetings later on this afternoon, but by that time, there should be some other posters around...

If you're on TX time, I'll be around until about 0200 your time...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 05:24 AM
Cool, RIF. I am on TX time!


Thanks again!
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 05:52 AM
Hey Charlotte,

My reserve unit is in Houston, so I used to travel down there once a month for drill...

I don't know how anyone can get used to the rush-hour traffic in Houston!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 06:40 AM
Hey RIF,

Ain't that the truth!

I'm pretty close to Houston. Can get there in less than an hour when the traffic is light. (Whenever THAT is!!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 06:55 AM
Goodnight All, hope everyone is doing okay. I'm going to try and sleep now.
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 07:15 AM
Good night Charlotte...

I've got to head out for my meeting... I'll check back with you later on tomorrow (this evening for me)...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 11:33 AM
I just went back the bank to double check the lobby hours.

On the way back I started thinking about our trip to Dallas.
H's AP & her H were also at this Horror Fest. We were in our room and I moved something that was in the way.

Out tumbles a gun in a mauve-colored case. I don't remember the make of the gun, but it was an automatic.

I asked H about this and he had some excuse for it, he was keeping it for her for some reason. Why? Both AP & her H are registered owners, licensed to carry.

I even asked him later after our return home if he wanted to get rid of me.

Why would I want to do that? H asked.

But I wonder if she was so bent on being with him then, maybe she is crazy enough to have tried to get him to get rid of me for her? He didn't do it. Couldn't push him to do that.

Thank goodness.

I've thought about that gun from time to time and since I remembered it again for some reason, I wanted to share it here.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: H...... - 11/01/07 11:57 AM
Charlotte, please be careful, and make an addendum about this in your police report. Make sure WH knows that others know about this incident. I think the other BS should know, in case OW wanted to do him in and have your WH keep the gun for her. This is frightening to say the least!

I have a licsense(sp) to carry, but I'm not supposed to just give my gun out to those who don't. With that permit comes a huge responsibility for the safety of others.

Again, be careful!!! GF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:11 PM
Thanks GF, you're right. That's a GREAT idea.

I will do that after taking care of this issue with the money that H is trying to use to control me.

It won't work. I WILL prevail. He CANNOT control me.

Today I am Spock. Must stay in "Spock" mode, LOGIC...no emotions.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:21 PM
That's right, just kick into that "self preservtion" mode and nothing can stop you! You're doing great and regaining yourself in the process as well as control!! He's gonna have a child's tantrum once he figures out you've had enough. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />GF
Posted By: weaver Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:24 PM
Quote
Charlotte, you spoke of feeling differently toward your husband. You are speaking like a woman who has rediscovered her backbone. You are standing up for yourself. Self-respect is glowing out of your skin.

You still love him because that is the decision you took when you took your vows. You know what loving is. It's not an emotion. It is the action you have taken to fight for your man. It is your commitment to your vows.

You were so scared, you still are. And yet you don't give up. Someday your husband will see the woman he married and be so proud of you for fighting for your marriage.

Wow. This post Bellvue is so true. A thought occured to me while reading it that it may be through actions like these that help those who were always somewhat "wayward" to see how it could, or perhaps better stated as how it should be. It's an example we show to the waywards, and it may cause great changes in them that were not previously there.

Right? I don't know if I'm making sense or am being clear. But it's pretty cool to finally realize that through our actions others are shown a better way, and this may be all it takes for great change.
Posted By: weaver Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:28 PM
Quote
Today I am Spock. Must stay in "Spock" mode, LOGIC...no emotions.


Funny! I keep watching for your thread title changes, Charlotte.

You've got a very good personality. Funny, too.
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:47 PM
Hi Charlotte,

I'm done with my meetings and have some other things to do, but it looks like you're in very capable hands now...

I hope you got some rest last night!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 12:57 PM
Thanks weaver & RIF...

weaver your post made me think about H.
He always liked that about me, those little fun things I tend to pop out with...

He was kinda getting back to that, too. He would laugh and enjoy them again from time to time.

Until Tuesday, that is!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H...... - 11/01/07 01:06 PM
Charlotte, I was out of pocket for most of the day yesterday but it sounds like things have been hoppin'. You're doing a great job by the way. Let us know what happens at the bank. I hope you beat him to it. Talking about the bank reminded me of a story the OW in my situation told my FWH when they were together. She said that she was racing her STBXH to the bank to get to the money and she had a car accident on the way because she was so hyped and nervous. (I was thinking, yep that Karma bus struck again.) She didn't make it in time. So be careful when you go this morning! Drive carefully!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H...... - 11/01/07 01:29 PM
Hi princess meggy,

Thank you! Will do! My mom said it was foggy so it would work to my advantage if he was lurking about. She's worried about him ambushing me. I checked hotel parking lots last night: no sign. There aren't many here so it was a quick job.
Noticed you had an "H" in the post title so I finished it for ya.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're doing a great job, Charlotte...keep it up. Folks mentioned your past enabling of the affair. You are an inspiration for others to follow....you saw, you chose, and you acted.

I started a thread on enabling vs. cheerleading and controling etc. and will link your thread to it as an example of how to recognize and overcome one aspect of enabling. GREAT JOB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

***Slight TJ to Weaver. Disregard my emails....sitch changed, she's not enabling anymore and wants help to change. Update later.(Details near bottom of page 1 on the Enabling Thread)***

Ace
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 03:50 PM
Thanks, Ace!

I wasn't able to get the whole check by Direct DP Advance but I got some of it.

I went there before the door was unlocked, talked to the person I was directed to talk to yesterday from the teller on the phone, explained the sitch with H...not the whole story but a short version re: the A...and that I had to call police yesterday.

She got my ATM card # which I could not find, gave me an 800 number and I was able to gain access and do the advance. If H sees this he the race to the bank in the a.m. will be on again!

Maybe he won't check, but if he tries to take out another 200 he won't be able to and THEN he will know.

So I am a little worried about that but if I get to talk to the lawyer at 3 when he is supposed to be back from court, hopefully we can get this taken care of. So I hope he gets back when he is supposed to!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H...... - 11/01/07 03:55 PM
Hi weaver, how's that parachute?

Yes, you do make sense. Charlotte22's actions are a signal to her WS and a beacon. "How it could be." Exactly.

I hope Charlotte22 continues to post through their recovery and beyond. Because that is where I see them going. I just love success stories. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/ooo.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:04 PM
Quote
I just love success stories.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Ditto for me to Bellevue!

You're doing great Charlotte!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: weaver Re: H...... - 11/01/07 04:20 PM
Quote
Hi weaver, how's that parachute?


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

That reminds me of sig line someone once used. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

And yes, following the examples of people living in integrity does make all the difference.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine That's what I'm gunning for... - 11/01/07 04:29 PM
Bellevue & RIF!!

Thanks again!!

My aunt said something about The War of the Roses and I said, "No, he's the one doing bad things to me. I'm just defending myself!"

Defense!!

and

Offence!!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 04:52 PM
Charlotte, can you report his ATM/debit card as lost?? We know it's really WH that's lost but since his ATM card is attached to him, doesn't that count?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 05:39 PM
Hi princess meggy...

I guess it would be worth a try. He does have his checkbook with him, though. So he can still do some damage!
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 05:43 PM
Charlotte, did he take the box of checks with him? Find them, so you can have what you need. You are still his responsibility, and he will eventually figure out that he took a slingshot to a gunfight. He's on an uneven playing field in that he totally underestimated you. He has to be in awe of you by now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 11/01/07 05:49 PM
I called my FIL and also DS21.

FIL sympathized...he said he didn't know what else he could do since he is not so close to H. Also, after he started the A, he cut himself off from everybody & FIL was hurt about that. I told him that it wasn't just him, but everyone. He said he'll do what he can & if he hears anything positive he'll let me know. He wants to be kept updated.

DS21: He knew something was up with his dad. He felt really bad for me that his dad was treating me so shabbily. He wants to call and try to talk to H. He's such a wise little owl! He gave me his work number and asked me to call if I needed someone to talk to. He is also worried about his dad's drug use. And warned me that he knew about side effects and that this could be a problem for me when trying to deal with H.

I told him he could tell his mom if he wanted to, I don't mind. We haven't ever said 2 words to each other but DS21 said that she might even want to call me. I also asked him to tell his sister if she checked in since I didn't know how to reach her. She is REALLY estranged from her dad. It's sad.

I will be leaving soon to see the lawyer. I guess leaving at 2pm should be sufficient.

Thanks, All!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 05:55 PM
Hi GF,

Thanks! He just has one book. I had to dip into the box this a.m. to get a new one for myself.

Slingshot to a gunfight...LOVE IT!!

He'd better be in awe. He ain't seen nothin' yet!

Giddy-up! I'm takin' the reins back! Oh yeah, already did!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 06:15 PM
Good job, Charlotte! Any word from your H? Do you think he is at work? Do you know if the OW is at work?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/01/07 06:29 PM
Hi Melody! Thank you!

Not a peep. Both were supposed to be off today, since they had that little "trip" planned.

I figure OWH might call me if that even transpired...no guarantees there, though. But I'd like to think he would have called.

Also H had been planning on taking a 17" moniter flatscreen so they could watch movies. That is still at home.

I think he might be holed up somewhere with a tension headache due to his out of control actions yesterday. Can't count on it, but I'm betting that might very well be the case.

Posted By: SeekingWife Re: H - 11/01/07 06:35 PM
Sounds to me that you busted up his plans and I'm sure on top of the anger he is feeling totally humiliated. Hopefully, a day or two will help him calm down and not act rashly.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Back from the bank... - 11/01/07 06:40 PM
Yeah, but I bet you can beat him to the bank faster than he can cash a check.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/01/07 06:47 PM
That's what I'm hoping SeekingWife. Four or 5 more days sounds good to me right now.

And:

Yes I can, Princess Meggy!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Leaving now... - 11/01/07 06:55 PM
Update upon return!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/01/07 08:24 PM
Quote
I think he might be holed up somewhere with a tension headache due to his out of control actions yesterday. Can't count on it, but I'm betting that might very well be the case.

Imagine him telling his AP "Not now honey, I have a headache!"
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H - 11/01/07 08:57 PM
I imagine him sitting there alone in the dark saying... "what just happened?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Leaving now... - 11/01/07 11:27 PM
Charlotte...Update please...It's been a long time since that appointment...I'm starting to get a bit worried...Let's us know how you are please...

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/01/07 11:31 PM
I know that pushy broad wouldn't like that, Bellevue.

Yep, princess meggy you are probably correct!

Well, I had to file in order to get things in place to stop H's bankrupting us. I didn't want to, but what choice do I have? It's his fault. NOT mine.

So I guess Plan A is out the window then? I guess it was a good thing I worked hard killing myself all these months.

My DIL called when I was in with the lawyer and I called her back after I got out. She said DS25 is absolutely furious with his dad for messing with our family. She is too. She said we have a GOOD family, he had no business screwing things up! AND she told me I had every right to be angry. I'm feeling it more now. They have motivated me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Sorry Mrs. W... - 11/01/07 11:35 PM
I got excited when my aunt came running in saying that 3 wrongful convictions have new evidence and someone else's DNA, one of the step-fathers. Also evidence from the mom implicating this step-father, her ex.

WM3 case...and on a LOCAL news station at that!

Sorry 'bout the O/T!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/01/07 11:43 PM
Quote
So I guess Plan A is out the window then? I guess it was a good thing I worked hard killing myself all these months.

That is good, Charlene, now you will be protected. You can stay in Plan A a while longer; filing divorce changes nothing.

I am glad you followed through on telling those kids and your FIL. Now you will have plenty of moral support from several quarters who will put pressure on his affair.

Where do you think he is?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/01/07 11:52 PM
I wonder about that. My DIL said they'd call my BIL, to see if H was there, though. I have been scared to call BIL because I'm afraid H is over there. I did tell him I'd keep him updated, though.

Yeah, when DIL told me DS25 was so furious, I was like wow! Mom said she guessed he had to absorb it. Yeah, I didn't think about that. He was sleeping when I called but I know he heard everything. He must have thought about this the whole time he was at work last night!

I'm so excited about their reaction! After all, I am their step-mom, although we dropped the step long ago. But we used to have so much fun together, playing video games (sometimes all night marathon sessions of Mario Kart with my sis and her SO)...or we'd go riding around & I took them to the haunted bridge & scared the dickens out of them one night.

We always had a good relationship, even though when DS25 moved in with us it was a bit rocky at first. I'm glad they are mad at their dad. They are right. Shame on him for messing with our family!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Did I say something wrong? - 11/02/07 12:17 AM
??
Posted By: believer Re: Did I say something wrong? - 11/02/07 12:49 AM
Well, all's quiet on the western front - at least that is good. Another day or two and hubby will start getting over being so angry, hopefully.

He will need to be living SOMEWHERE, so something should break sooner or later. It will probably depend on whether OW leaves her husband.

Be sure to stay in Plan A and when you hear from hubby, let him know that you prefer a marriage with only two people, and hope you can work on that.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, H called our home # - 11/02/07 02:19 AM
But the tape is full in the machine so who knows what he said?

Was quiet...believer...

A few days from now he'll have to deal with another one of my vertebra re-activating when he is served.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Well, H called our home # - 11/02/07 02:24 AM
Charlotte, what does the tape say? Can you play it and tell us what he says?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Well, H called our home # - 11/02/07 02:27 AM
"another one of my vertebra re-activating when he is served"

ha ha ha ha ha! God, you are funny!

And just look how much better you feel now that you are taking control of your life.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, H called our home # - 11/02/07 02:29 AM
Sorry Melody. The tape has been full for days. No H voice captured....:(
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, H called our home # - 11/02/07 02:32 AM
Thanks Bellevue...one by one they come back online...but I am not Borg.

I am still Spock.

And if Spock could feel good...I surely do!
I went over to visit with DS & DIL & DGS5m...

DIL is getting more and more upset w/H. She said they went trick-or-treating last night & not long after they had left that DS called and said, "HOME. NOW." She said he was pacing back and forth and very agitated.

I guess he absorbed it a little faster than we thought!

She said he is trying to calm down before he calls H.

I got to see DS briefly when he got up to get ready for work but I had to go...pampering self tonight with L&O CI...

Too bad H isn't here. It's one of the shows we enjoy together, especially since we "don't have anything in common" (insert sarcasm)

Ha!
Hey Charlotte,

I've got some more meetings today, but I'll check back in when I have some breaks...

Hope you're doing well...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine RIF - 11/02/07 04:11 AM
Hi RIF,

I'm doing real good so far. I didn't even cry when I knew I had to file for the big one in order to protect myself from H's reckless disregard for me and our family.

I teared up a little, that was all.

With each person I expose the evil, stinking, sickening, disgusting, filthy, nasty, vomit-inducing adultery to...I feel better and better. (vertebra coming back online...ACTIVATED!!)

And the reaction from DS21 & DS25 & DIL & FIL & BIL have really, really made me feel good.

Thanks to H's actions so completely destroying my self-esteem, it's not yet completely recovered. So I didn't know if they'd care much. Or maybe I was afraid they wouldn't care much. They have validated me and I feel SO much better!

I'd go "Dancin' in the Streets" but I think I might actually sleep a little better tonight. The last few days have been maybe 3 hours of sleep a night (and that's a kind estimate) and no napping. I do need to be up before the roosters (except our roosters who crow all night), so I can get to the bank before 7am. AAAaaaannnnnddd they're off!!!!

I'll probably be around a bit longer though.

Thanks again!!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: RIF - 11/02/07 04:31 AM
In your case, exposure has brought out allies and support. Just the sort of thing that will shrivel up the affair like testicles in icewater.
Posted By: believer Re: RIF - 11/02/07 04:42 AM
When you talk to your husband, be sure you let him know that your desire is to save the marriage, and that you filed to protect yourself from the adultery.

Hey, there's no chance that he was arrested yesterday is there? He's being quieter than they usually do after exposure.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/02/07 04:56 AM
Yaaaay! Rocky Mountain Oysters on the Rocks, Bellevue!

Love it!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/02/07 04:58 AM
believer,

I guess I should wait until after he is served?

He wasn't quiet yesterday!

He called here but the tape was full so no message recorded.

Should I send some cookies with the process server? I know he's probably Jonesing for them by now!
Posted By: believer Re: RIF - 11/02/07 05:08 AM
Oh, that's good Charlotte. I'm just a worrier. Usually the WS will hund down the BS and scream and yell, going through the whole list. But then they get over it rather quickly. I mean REALLY quickly.

Your husband is getting a very SUDDEN wake up call. I guess time will tell what his next move is.

You haven't heard from OM yet, right?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/02/07 05:22 AM
Nothing from OM.

But received VM from H. He just wants to p/u his laptop. (sigh...)
Posted By: believer Re: RIF - 11/02/07 05:31 AM
I would VM or text him back that he can pick it up anytime. Is it still in the house, or where you are staying?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H still at it... - 11/02/07 05:36 AM
Pulled another 100 from ATM. Now 76 dollars left.

I guess the race to the bank really will be on. I'm sure he checked and saw the DD advance.

He hasn't learned a thing.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H call - 11/02/07 05:37 AM
Yep. At the house. I am here tonight.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H call - 11/02/07 05:50 AM
Now I'm feeling a little down.

And the direct deposit hasn't shown up yet. It better just be late. Anger coming up now. Could he have put a stop to it that quickly?

I guess that means the little trip was definitely canceled, then. He would have had to do that from work.

So now he is punishing me. Fine. BRING IT ON, SAILOR!

I got your number. You just don't know it yet.
Posted By: believer Re: H call - 11/02/07 06:03 AM
Where I work it takes some time to change a direct deposit. But I don't know if that is everywhere. Hmmmmm. Hopefully it will show up.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H call - 11/02/07 06:07 AM
Me too, believer. Maybe he thought it was there. I looked again and he pulled the 100 out after midnight because the date was 11/2.

I wonder if he'll log on and check activity. I don't think you get much of a summary with the ATM, do you? You can check balance & that's it? I don't use it often so I don't know what is different now.

For a while we weren't using the ATM option at all. It worked better that way to control spending. He uses that thing like it's free money.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H call - 11/02/07 06:09 AM
He must be living at work. The ATM he used was right close to the office. And on the VM the background sounded hollow, like when he calls me from there sometimes. Not sure which room it is. I guess it's not the fornication room.
Posted By: believer Re: H call - 11/02/07 06:11 AM
No, an ATM at the same bank will give you are print out of the latest transactions.

Well, there is nothing you can do about it now. I would get some sleep for the exciting things that may happen tomorrow.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H call - 11/02/07 06:13 AM
Darn! I was afraid of that!

Yeah, I guess I'd better hit it pretty soon.

I'll stay a little longer, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Bank - 11/02/07 06:52 AM
Still nothing. I'm gonna hit the sack now.

Goodnight, All!

Thanks again!
Posted By: RIF Re: Bank - 11/02/07 10:22 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I hope you're getting some rest... I just got back and wanted to check and see how you are doing.

I'm glad that Believer was around... she's a sweet-heart and can give you some great advice!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:27 AM
Hi RIF,

I actually slept pretty good but 2 or 3 times I woke up laughing. (?) I have no idea what I was dreaming of if someone was telling me a joke in the dream or what.

Too bad H missed that, he always loved my little night noises. Except when I scared the heck out of him trying to scream in my sleep.

I woke up and thought I overslept by my clock was an hour ahead. I forgot.

DD finally went through. H pulled out more money, same location. Too bad I can't see time stamps.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:30 AM
Did he leave you some money, Charlotte? Can you go get it out?
Posted By: RIF Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:31 AM
Morning Charlotte,

Is there anyway that you can go down to the bank and transfer the money to an account that he can't touch?

It's a shame that he's playing this little game with you...

Glad you got some rest last night.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:35 AM
Hi you guys,

Yes. I need to go before 7am, though. I don't dare wait until the lobby opens.

This is starting to get really funny. I can just see H pulled up at the ATM, evil grin on his face as he "defiantly" pops the card in with a flourish.

"I'll show her!" he thinks.

This is not bothering me at all. It's only going to make him look like a fool in front of God and everybody. I'm sure the judge will love this.

He probably thinks I'm to chicken to do anything about it. Little does he know I already have. Boy, is he going to be surprised!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:41 AM
Mad that I took away his "toy." I guess he forgot about the recall due to lead contamination. Look what it's done to his brain so far!

He is so trying to push me into an angry reaction and Spock is SO not going to have the reaction H wants. Spock is not going to lose control. It is not "Amok Time."
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:45 AM
Charlotte, what did their employers say about the affair?

GF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:46 AM
I haven't heard a peep from them. GF.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 11:48 AM
Aaaannnd they're OFF!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 12:11 PM
Whoops! A false start. They open at 7:30. Coulda sworn it was 7. Well, if it's like that at all locations, I still have a chance...

If I don't get the money out in time due to sluggish tellers/sluggish equipment, at least I gave it my best shot.

I still have the advance, I spent very little.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:01 PM
Okay, couldn't take any money out. Some sort of notation on the account. What could he have done besides cancel the checks?

He doesn't get it. The more he tries to hurt me the more powerful I become...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:14 PM
I just talked to my attorney. He said he knew of no other way he could do this other than change the PW. I asked...even if I was using a check? He's still using his ATM card.

Anyway I told him that I'd be going there at 9am to see if I could find anything out.

I told him I wasn't even mad because H is behaving so foolishly. He said that's great and there will be consequences for this especially since there's an A. The court will not look kindly on him.

He's just hurting himself! What a fool!

Meanwhile I'm having a complete and balanced breakfast. I went to the store and bought a Porterhouse steak. Mmm mmm good!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:35 PM
Okay, H cashed a check for $500...so evidently he didn't report our checks as stolen.

Anyone have a clue as to what it might be? I am curious to see what ugly stick he is using to try and beat down his wife this time.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:45 PM
Oh, I think he's told them not to allow you to cash any checks, he's probably tried to remove you from the account.

If he's at work, can you go see him there? He would have to behave and most likely would be civil. Gotta see him some time. It would be a good time to do a pre-emptive strike about the divorce filing. Give him all the reasons for it
including you didn't want to do it. GF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:53 PM
Thanks GF.

I wish I could but he was supposed to be off anyway.

I have to be at my grandma's today.
Posted By: suamico Re: Bank - 11/02/07 01:55 PM
Quote
Okay, H cashed a check for $500...so evidently he didn't report our checks as stolen.

Anyone have a clue as to what it might be? I am curious to see what ugly stick he is using to try and beat down his wife this time.
C,
I have been trying to follow your story but am a bit lost when it comes to the banking issues. Can you give me a timeline? For example he took out 200 on 10-27. Direct deposit goes in 11-1. You went in on 10-31 and set up X amount to go elsewhere. I have some thoughts but I need my facts right before I post.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 02:10 PM
Hi suamico,

11/02/07 TELLER CASHED CHECK-H
11/02/07 ATM-H
11/02/07 DD
11/02/07 ATM-H
11/01/07 CASHED CHECK-Me
11/01/07 DIRECT DEPOSIT ADVANCE ON 11/01
10/31/07 ATM
Posted By: suamico Re: Bank - 11/02/07 02:17 PM
Quote
Hi suamico,

11/02/07 TELLER CASHED CHECK-H
11/02/07 ATM-H
11/02/07 DD
11/02/07 ATM-H
11/01/07 CASHED CHECK-Me
11/01/07 DIRECT DEPOSIT ADVANCE ON 11/01
10/31/07 ATM

Ok so DD advance was 1/2 the DD and it was supposed to go into another account? Did the DD make it in today? The reason I asked is because I was thinking maybe he beat you to the punch and had DD stopped and issued as a paper check. Is the DD from his job or yours?

If it is a joint account he can't just take you off of it. Please be waiting at the door at the bank as soon as it opens today. I am eastcoast so I believe you are 3 hours behind me. (10:18 here, 7:18 there?) Get ready to go!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 02:21 PM
Thanks, suamico.

I was only able to get about 1/4 of the DD.

It went through okay.

It's 9:25 here now. I'm waiting for the bank to call me back.
Posted By: BringItOn Re: Bank - 11/02/07 02:50 PM
Charlotte,

You are cool as a cucumber! Excellent level-headedness! Keep it up.
Posted By: believer Re: Bank - 11/02/07 02:58 PM
I really think that ALL women (or men for that matter) should have an account in their own name only for "incidentals" or cases like this.

We've all seen this game played over and over. Usually it is a WS trying to starve a SAHM into submission.

Hang in there Charlotte, and don't forget the important stuff - like feeding that horse.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:15 PM
Yah, especially the horse. And fresh water.

I'm amazed at the transformation in you - just seeing through the Boards.
Posted By: suamico Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:16 PM
Quote
I really think that ALL women (or men for that matter) should have an account in their own name only for "incidentals" or cases like this.

We've all seen this game played over and over. Usually it is a WS trying to starve a SAHM into submission.

Hang in there Charlotte, and don't forget the important stuff - like feeding that horse.
I agree. I am a SAHM and in a strong marriage but I ran into a glitch when we were living in WI. Everything is joint including all credit cards. I was trying to plan a surprise party for DH's 40th birthday. I tried to apply for a credit card in my name so I could use it without him seeing what I was doing. In WI the spouse needs to be informed! I was floored. I did manage to pull it off with my parents help. After that DH and I moved to another state and talked about how this could be a HUGE issue if anything were to happen to him. We are working on getting a credit card in my name and building credit for me only. We never thought about it because we both assumed it was "our" credit record but it really is his. How screwed up is that? Poor DH is always trying his best to protect me and the kids but we really didn't think about this part. He has life insurance on himself just in case and has 401Ks properties in both names etc. To think we forgot about MY credit history never came to mind.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:21 PM
Thanks, Bring It On!!
Posted By: Owl Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:25 PM
I disagree. In a good, functioning marriage, everything should be joint...to include the finances.

Too often, those seperate accounts can lead to making financial decisions, then personal decisions, that create independent behavior.

Its too easy to keep secret what you're doing when you're living seperate lives...financially or otherwise.

Which is why my wife and I have had only a joint account for the last 20 years. We also jointly agree on how we spend OUR money.


Now, in your case, Charlotte, it of course makes sense to start a new account RIGHT NOW. Since he's not trustworthy, you shouldn't trust him with your money. Its a different story when an affair is on...all bets are off on trust at that point.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:31 PM
Charlotte as far as having to file the BIG D, you're actually in a better position because you're the petitioner.

You haven't really said too much about it but if you're wanting to save your marriage (are you?) then later on when it gets close to time to finalize (if your husband doesn't countersue) then you can nonsuit it and it goes away.

I dropped my divorce suit 3 days before it was final b/c I thought WH was coming home and we were going to recover. Boy was he mad when he found out that if he still wanted it, HE would have to file it AND pay new filing fees, but Thank God, he never did refile.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:31 PM
Thanks, believer, Bellevue & suamico!

Yes, Pepper will certainly let me know about her breakfast! She knocked her temporary shoe off the other day banging on the door! The other one is gone, too...I still haven't found it!

Okay...the mystery is solved.

I know have all that remained in the account since his last onslaught except for $134.00 When I got there I checked to make sure he hadn't pulled more out. He's burning a lot of gas going back and forth to the bank!

He is going to be super-p.o.'ed! Should I let him know? I hope he doesn't storm over here again.

What happened was this: When I was there the 1st time they at first said it would be just a few more minutes because they had already seen that the money was there and I told them I needed to get to it before he did so please hurry if they could.

They also said they were waiting for the vault to be opened. Then they came back and said there was a notation, but only AFTER saying I couldn't take the money out. I said, it's OUR money, not his. I'm on the account. What's the problem? No good answer.

Well, it turns out the notation was because of the vault problem. I don't know why they didn't make that connection and were telling me I couldn't cash the check because it was his DD that went through. OOOOOOKKKKKK, then.

Awwww, poor H got blamed for a bank error. Well, blaming him for that is to be expected right now, especially since they were so adamant at the window about who's money it was.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:38 PM
Thanks, OWL.

Yeah, that made it a lot easier for the AP to have this A. She had a separate account from her H.

Thanks, princess meggy. Yes, I do want to save it. And save him. And save our family.

What happens if he countersues? Can this take place right away?

Thanks!
I would have said take it all out and leave $1 in it.....that would be funny.

he's pulled ot enough to live on.
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:53 PM
Here's a suggestion that may help save you the time and effort in regards to the bank runs:

Open an account in only your name at the same bank.

If you don't already hav it, apply for online access for BOTH the joint and your individual account.

Sit at your computer at home at midnight or whenever the deposit is made into the joint account and immediately make an online transfer to your individual account.

All my loans, bank credit cards, checking and savings accounts are online accessible and I can transfer money between them all anytime, day or night. No waiting for the doors to open and no having to explain my "story" to different tellers every time.

He'll probably wise up pretty quick and stop the direct deposit, but it can't hurt to set it up just in case.

It will also work well for any money he is willing to give you in the future for support once things settle down. He can deposit it in the JOINT and you can transfer it into INDIVIDUAL so he can't get mad and take it back or use it himself.

You're doing great, Charlotte, you've got some good people posting to you.

Fox
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Bank - 11/02/07 03:55 PM
Hi surviving,

Yeah, he's got enough and THEN some.

Shame on me for feeling the small instant of guilt for taking our money out to protect it!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 03:58 PM
Thanks, Fox!

Any stopping he does now will have to be for the next DP, which will be in two weeks and by then he will have been served.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine I wonder... - 11/02/07 04:06 PM
what the Goblin King will do next?

He hasn't yet figured out, he has no power over me!
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:21 PM
Quote
Any stopping he does now will have to be for the next DP, which will be in two weeks and by then he will have been served.


Get it set up now, so you don't have this stress in two weeks. Worse case, he will stop the direct deposit.

I can't remember if you posted this but do you work? If so, where does your paycheck go? Do NOT put it in the joint account for him to take.

If you do not work, he may still put money in that account to take care of bills. His lawyer (when he gets one after being served) may advise him to not leave you totally destitute as a judge may frown on that. If he gives you money of any kind, make sure he does not have access to take it back based on his emotion of the moment.

Here's a question for those in Texas who might know. When Charlotte's WH gets served, will their be a restraining order with it that prohibits him from changing any accounts, direct deposits, beneficiaries, etc?

If there is Charlotte, get him served ASAP so that he cannot stop that direct deposit or make changes to your joint account.

He can still do it, but there will be legal ramifications.

Keep your chin up, so much can change from one day to the next.

Fox
Posted By: SIHW Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 04:23 PM
Quote
what the Goblin King will do next?

He hasn't yet figured out, he has no power over me!

I can name that movie....Labrynth...

Through dangers untold and hardships un numbered I have fought my way here to the castle!

someone's been watching alot of movies....I am on a xanadu fix.....my sister gave me the album...I need to go get the DVD. I don't have a VCR anymore.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:24 PM
Quote
What happens if he countersues? Can this take place right away?

Yes he can countersue immediately when he "answers" BUT keep in mind that this doesn't happen very often. Most of the time the case will just move along with you as Petitioner and him as Respondent. If he DOESN'T answer then you win by default and whatever you asked for in your petition, you get whatever's spelled out in the final decree. But that's not the goal in this case.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:29 PM
Thanks princess meggy. I'll be paranoid about that now. I'll try to put it out of my head.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:30 PM
Quote
Here's a question for those in Texas who might know. When Charlotte's WH gets served, will their be a restraining order with it that prohibits him from changing any accounts, direct deposits, beneficiaries, etc?

It all depends on if the attorney put the language in the divorce petition. Given the history and concerns that Charlotte probably gave him, he probably did. However, there's usually a temporary hearing to grant temporary orders concerning matters like this.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:31 PM
Right now I am PT taking care of my grandmother, Fox.

Thanks for the advice. I hope he will have cooled down a bit by then.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:32 PM
If her attorney requested a TRO to be included, he would have had to had an exparte hearing in front of the Judge to be able to include it in the service-- making it effective immediately. If not, then there will have to be a hearing.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 04:35 PM
Hey surviving. I haven't seen the Labryinth in quite a while. The last one H & I watched was 1408. I figured he'd already seen it with "her" but they weren't "watching" movies when they went to them.
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: Bank - 11/02/07 04:37 PM
Thanks, PM. When I was served there was a temporary restraining order prohibiting me from those things and from selling anything unless it was for daily living expenses.

Which was laughable because WH had already removed himself from our joint account and stopped his direct deposit. Thereby dumping all the automatic bill payments on my shoulders since I was the only one left responsible for that account.

Charlotte, I am so impressed with your level-headedness. I was an absolute mess after d-day and it took me a while to focus and get my thoughts on protection for DDs and I and not so much on how to get WH back.

Protection must be first.

If he will not be served with that temp restraining order in place with the divorce petition, talk to your lawyer and see if it can still be added.

Fox
Posted By: SIHW Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 04:38 PM
1408 wasn't as good as I thought it would be......i can't wait to see that new one the only title they have for it is 1-18-08 or something....new BIG monster movie....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: TRO - 11/02/07 04:48 PM
Hi Fox,

Just checked. It's there.

I thought I had conveyed that to him but with all of the paperwork and thinking about not wanting to have to actually file I guess I didn't hear him or forgot.

So we're A-OK.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: TRO - 11/02/07 04:50 PM
Is it a "Temporary Restraining Order" or "Temporary Orders"?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 04:51 PM
yeah, the story was much better.

I think the one you are thinking about is From a Buick 8. I had started reading that again recently before the whirlwind of exposure. I forgot that they were making a movie from that novel. GOOD one.

I wish they'd do Eyes of the Dragon, The Talisman, Black House & a couple of others. And remake The Stand-too much left out.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: TRO - 11/02/07 04:52 PM
A TRO.
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: TRO - 11/02/07 04:59 PM
Glad to hear that, Charlotte. Be sure to listen to princessmeggy on this one. She's in your state and I am not. Courts can handle it differently in each state, I just want to make sure you are taken care of.

I haven't been and it's because I wasn't fast enough to get that protection in place. I was trusting that WH would not leave me and DDs destitute....I was wrong and I'm still paying for it.

Fox
Posted By: Bellevue Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 05:02 PM
Quote
yeah, the story was much better.

I think the one you are thinking about is From a Buick 8. I had started reading that again recently before the whirlwind of exposure. I forgot that they were making a movie from that novel. GOOD one.

I wish they'd do Eyes of the Dragon, The Talisman, Black House & a couple of others. And remake The Stand-too much left out.

AAAH - another Stephen King fan. I also loved Eyes of the Dragon. Discovered it after reading his more recent ones.

Following your thread is so therapeutic for me. I'm living through your success what I failed at. Applause, applause.
Posted By: SIHW Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 05:11 PM
I was thinking it might have been like a godzilla 2 or something but I read the director wanted to give america it's own monster so it's something new.....I am a monster movie person more than a suspese person....not many good monster movies lately tho......I am legend looks good tho.

Have you read the eragon series....oh I loved eldest....the third book is coming out soon....I started reading dean [censored]'s twilight and didn't get past the first chapter...scared the bejjeeesis out of me....I know I am a wuss.

My favorite author is Wilbur smith I love his egyptian series...couldn't put it down.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 05:28 PM
PLAN B AND HOW AFFAIRS SHOULD END.
Everyone, I'm thinking ahead for Charlotte, our heroine.

Her H might cave pretty soon. Let's talk to her about the No Contact Letter and terms for his surrender, ie how will she allow him back into the house.

Without No Contact and other negotiations, he could just come home and pick up where he left off - feeling put upon and not sure he wants to "forgive" Charlotte22 for her bad badness.

Yes Charlotte, you have a lot to deal with right now. Just because you got a lawyer and have protected yourself does not mean the marriage is over. It is possible your H will start trying to reconcile. You are in the power seat. He left home, his affair is exposed, and the [email]sh@t[/email] is hitting the fan.

Experts, let's not let Charlotte down at this critical phase in her marriage recovery.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: I wonder... - 11/02/07 05:31 PM
Have you read Dean Koontz Frankenstein series? It's set in modern New Orleans (pre-Katrina) with both the monster and the Dr. still alive. It combines a serial killer mystery into the mix. The first one is titled "Prodigal Son".
Posted By: Dancing_Machine E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 05:47 PM
I tried calling home and your cell last night. We have things to discuss. First and formost, i'm not your enemy, I am and always will be your friend. I'm not sure when Ill be back, maybe this weekend or close to it. I'm taking time, roaming about (similar to when you went to louisiana) but you're going to have to becareful with writing checks with the bank balance so low. Hope you are holding up okay. H

I had just gotten done listening to his VM with much the same message.


I also ended up talking to him on the phone because someone, a family friend whose staying here for a while, handed it to me and I didn't know it rang because I just walked in the door. I would have told them not to answer. As it was I was put on the spot. I guess I screwed up, huh?
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 05:53 PM
Quote
I guess I screwed up, huh?


How do you think you screwed up? By talking on the phone with him?

What was his demeanor on the phone?

Be careful.....

The waywards play head games.

Fox
Posted By: chrisner Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 05:56 PM
Quote
Have you read Dean Koontz Frankenstein series? It's set in modern New Orleans (pre-Katrina) with both the monster and the Dr. still alive. It combines a serial killer mystery into the mix. The first one is titled "Prodigal Son".

They are great books but he has yet to release book 3. It is a year over due and no word on when it will come out.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 05:58 PM
What did he say on the phone, Charlotte? Where is he at? You didn't do anything wrong talking to him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:00 PM
He was very calm and not at all angry. Even about the bank balance, which I thought he'd be furious about. I told him I had to take it out because I didn't know how much more he was going to take out of there so I took it.

He sounded...well, kinda down, but not too far. He sounded like he might have taken something, though. So I'm not sure how much stock to put in him sounding down. Maybe he took something so he could talk to me. I don't know. I'd like to believe it's because of other reasons, but I don't know. Still a little shaky here, but okay mentally. I kept my voice calm and even.

He did not mention anything about what has transpired over the last few days and I did not mention the D. I didn't feel it was a good idea to do that over the phone.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/02/07 06:05 PM
He may feel differently when he hears from his sons. But that is not a big concern to me. He deserves whatever they are going to tell him.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:11 PM
Quote
First and formost, i'm not your enemy, I am and always will be your friend.

Straight out of the WS handbook. But this is good that he's opening the lines of communications, you just may get your chance to Plan A him (have you read up on that by the way?). Listen to some of the others here about what to do now... I've never done any of the plans but they have. I'll help you out on the legal stuff as much as I can.

You go girl.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:12 PM
Charlotte, what did yall talk about?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:26 PM
Quote
[quote]First and formost, i'm not your enemy, I am and always will be your friend.


Yeah, the 2nd part of this is straight out of Star Trek II-The Wrath of Kahn...Spock to Kirk when he went into the chamber to save the ship at his peril.

Quote
Straight out of the WS handbook. But this is good that he's opening the lines of communications, you just may get your chance to Plan A him (have you read up on that by the way?). Listen to some of the others here about what to do now... I've never done any of the plans but they have. I'll help you out on the legal stuff as much as I can.

You go girl.

Thanks princess meggy. I'm glad to hear that. Because I'm like, yeah, great. A friend. (of course that is not a bad thing but not what I'm aiming for now.)

Yeah, I'm going to need a looot of advice before he shows up! And I can't find my SAA book. I hid it from him & now can't find it.

I was really surprised that he was so calm, even though he may have taken something. And it was not strained or anything. From either of us. It was more natural, like it used to be. I was talking to him with no expectations (that HE knew of!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:29 PM
Hi Melody,

The bank account. eBay, some things he had posted had sold & he needed to ship them.

He said he was roaming around like I did when I went to Louisiana (near the beginning of this nightmare) and thinking.

I told him to be careful out there and I'd see him this weekend.

Maybe when he discovered I took nearly all of the money out he decided I meant business, that I really meant business, no foolin'.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 06:47 PM
This does give me hope, though, because I thought that he was going to be so angry that he would just never talk to me again (especially since he was so mad at DS21 for a long time...he has NEVER been mad at DS21 like this. Of course that was when he basically dumped everyone because it was near the beginning of the A.), and when he was served, maybe countersue, or maybe just agree to everything because he wanted to get rid of me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 07:09 PM
He was persistent about calling, I'll give him that. He didn't just call once. He called the cell, he said he sent an email in the VM, he called here...gee, I haven't had this many calls from him all at once in months. I'll have to remember to see if he called the house later. Since he couldn't leave a message he may not have.

I know I can't count on anything but I do feel a lot better.

The main thing I'm worried about it how to handle the D situation, how to bring it up and try not to react to whatever he says, no matter what it is.

I wonder if he expected angry wife? Contrite little wife begging him to come home?

He also used the word "home" instead of "the house" which has been his choice for a while. Not that there's anything wrong with "the house" but "home" is...well...home. You all know what I mean.
Posted By: believer Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 08:53 PM
Sounds very good. Now, don't be afraid to talk to him if he is being calm. The only reason I advised against it was because I wanted him to cool off a bit, and also talk to you NOT in the presence of the OW.

It would be best if you do see and talk to him if he isn't in a rage. There is no need to argue or blame. You can explain that your desire is to save the marriage, and for that to happen, he needs to unload the OW.

If he starts complaining about the past and all the stuff you didn't do, then you just tell him you are sorry for your part and would like a chance to change and have a good marriage, but nothing can be done with THREE people in the marriage.

Then if he says it has nothing to do with her, let him know that you would like the chance for a better marriage, but she needs to be GONE.

If he says she is his soulmate and he can't live without her and you are a boring old hag, you just tell him that you are sorry that he feels that way and will welcome the chance to work on things when he DUMPS her.

Get it? You stay calm and cheerful and sympathetic, but insistent that OW needs to go.

Don't criticize or threaten.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:00 PM
Quote
He was persistent about calling, I'll give him that. He didn't just call once. He called the cell, he said he sent an email in the VM, he called here...gee, I haven't had this many calls from him all at once in months. [quote]

He's dipping a toe in the waters to see whether it will get bitten off.

Had you not exposed, had the AP not gone home to her H, you would not be hearing from him at all. He would be blissfully weekending with her.

He KNOWS he done wrong. Exposure pulled the rub out from under the affair. AP ran home. He's out of the house, with locks changed, with clothes boxed up in the driveway. And he told you he didn't CARE what you did with his clothes.

He wants to come "home". But he wants it to just magically happen. Locks back to the way they were before, clothes back in the closets, wifey just where he left her, and "let's not bring up all that unpleasantness, shall we?"

He is very uncertain. He may not even know if he still has his job, or if they will dump him as a liability.

You could have him served with D papers at work. If you really want to shock him. You could write a note to be handed to him as the papers are being served. A note explaining that you love him, that you are fighting for your marriage and that you want to have a better marriage than you ever had before. And mention that you knew you had to protect "our" money from his temporary poor judgment in the trip with his AP. That you don't want his affair to deplete "our" security.

I don't know your H. He may be too stubborn to ask you to stop the D and to let him come home. OR, he may collapse like a house of cards. Either way, you can rebuild. I would lean toward Harley counseling. Counseling before he comes "home."

You are doing great!

[quote] The main thing I'm worried about it how to handle the D situation, how to bring it up and try not to react to whatever he says, no matter what it is.


He could tell you that now he knows you don't love him; never did. That you MUST want a D because you served papers on him.

You can refer him to your hand written note, about how you are protecting "our" assets from his affair. And that you would rather be married, that you meant your vows.

Charlotte, You will never have more power in the relationship than what you have now. And since you are the stronger one, you can use it constructively to rebuild.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:06 PM
Thanks believer. At what point should I bring this up? And how, since he hasn't confessed?

And if he says that's not gonna happen when I say, "when you dump her," My reply should be:

1. We'll see.
2. Say nothing and smile
3. ???

And what about bringing up the D?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:09 PM
Thanks, Bellevue.

So then I shouldn't say anything about the D when he shows up this weekend?

Oh boy, now I'm starting to get a little nervous!
Posted By: believer Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:18 PM
"And if he says that's not gonna happen when I say, "when you dump her," My reply should be:"

Reply - "It hurts that you feel that way." OR some other non angry platitude. Let him talk away, without getting angry, defending, or accusing.

Just insert the word "CRACK" (in your head, NOT OUT LOUD) whenever he says anything about her.

IE: I was lost and lonely until crack came into my life. Now with crack, every day is wonderful. My crack really understands me. Blah, blah, blah.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:19 PM
If he hasn't been served yet, then don't warn him. He could duck the process server. The TRO isn't in effect until he is served.

As for him coming by before he's served, I would just play my cards close to my vest and mainly just LISTEN to what he has to say. If you don't have a response, "I need to think about this or use some of Orchid's reverse babble." If he starts berating you and bringing up the past, walk away. "Sorry, I'll be ready to talk to you when you've calmed down." If he comes unglued, dial 911.

Otherwise, if he's REALLY ready to talk about making thing right, you have conditions for that.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:21 PM
Quote
IE: I was lost and lonely until crack came into my life. Now with crack, every day is wonderful. My crack really understands me. Blah, blah, blah.

OMG, that is too funny. Can you picture it Charlotte? Try not to chuckle when he's talking.
Posted By: coachswife Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:22 PM
I just read your entire thread and girl, you're doing a great job. Don't be nervous!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 09:31 PM
crack haha *snort* it even made me chuckle.....
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 10:27 PM
Quote
My crack really understands me.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can't get the picture of a talking crack outta my head now! I KNOW that isn't the kind of crack being discussed, er, I don't know though a WH speaking could tend to look like that...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/02/07 10:48 PM
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5525_qa.html
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Talked to OWH - 11/03/07 01:00 AM
A BIIIIIIGGG THANK YOU!!!! to Melody Lane for filling me up with courage so I could call OWH.

I'll be back in with an OWH report in a little while.

I just got back from the grocery store and I thought about this...it feels SO GOOD to talk to EVERYBODY now and look people in the eye knowing my aren't full of pain and agony anymore.

I really do feel like a new human. Reborn. A Phoenix from the ashes of H & his AP's shame.

Quick little blurb: one day not long ago when I was still stuck, I was outside our home in my truck (used to be my G'pa's & it's PURPLE!!!)...
I was staring off into space towards the road and cars were driving by. A police car drove by. Next thing I know he'd turned around and come back. He asked me if I was okay. I don't know how he noticed my face and I must have really looked miserable for him to turn around and come back to check on me.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 01:04 AM
Hopefully, Charlotte will come back and give you an update but I spoke to her earlier on the phone and she had talked to the OWH. It seems that the OW has not returned to work since the exposure because she is "too embarrassed." She is at home with her H.

Per OWH, Human Resources has received several complaints and is investigating the affair. Charlotte's H is not with the OW and Charlotte doesn't know where he is staying.

OWH told Charlotte that they have been sleeping together all this time, even though her WS thinks they have NOT. The OW has agreed to work on her marriage and Charlotte referred OWH to MB but told him not to tell OW right now.

Charlotte and I discussed what she will say when he does show up and we developed some talking points to guide her. She is going to start off with:

* the affair has been exposed to everyone, Human Resources, the OWH, your father, children, etc.; everyone knows now

* what do you plan to do about the affair?

She will let him talk here. Here are some key points she will make in the conversation:

* I filed for D in order to protect myself financially. I do not want a divorce but felt it necessary for protection. I would like to try and save our marriage and will stop the D action if I see that our recovery is going in the right direction so I would like to give you that chance.

* the OWH told me that the OW is committed to working on their marriage. He also told me they have had SF on a reg basis throughout the affair. [she told the WS that they had stopped entirely]

Charlotte, I hope you don't mind that I updated them, but I know that these folks really care and worry about you!
Posted By: MrWondering Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 01:32 AM
one comment:

Perhaps you shouldn't tell WH about the divorce filing until he is served. Someone mentioned it above and I concur. The filing includes a TRO forbidding him from any financial moves pending the divorce action. IF he catches wind about the petition, he MAY change his direct deposit account prior to being served to another account in his name.

Sure he may do so after he is served but that should (or may...since I'm not privy to the exact wording) be a violation of the TRO and he'll get hammered for doing so.

Protect yourself first, explain later.

Mr. Wondering

p.s. - Exposure Success story...affair busted!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 01:33 AM
Thank you Melody for the update. I was concerned that she wouldn't know what to do when she finally faced him. As usual your advice is wise and perfect for how to handle WH. Charlotte, are you taking notes?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Slight delay - 11/03/07 02:46 AM
Pepper has somehow gotten herself into the dog kennel of all places. We are trying to figure out how to get her out so I am having delays because of this.

It's 4 ft. tall but it was closed up on top. She flipped it over on herself somehow or a visiting UFO put her in there.

I'm trying to take a picture. A horse in a dog kennel is SO FUNNY!

She's not hurt or anything. She punched a hole through the top with her head. There was only chicken wire on the top.
Posted By: mopey Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 03:13 AM
Hi Charlotte,

I've been keeping up with your story and am proud of you.

And this....


Quote
It seems that the OW has not returned to work since the exposure because she is "too embarrassed." She is at home with her H.



Love it. Love it. Love it.

Does this make me bad? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I would looooooovvvvve to have the OW in my H's life to feel even a tiny bit of the humiliation I felt.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 03:36 AM
Thanks mopey! It feels good to be back on Earth instead of in Purgatory!
Posted By: believer Re: E-mail from H.... - 11/03/07 04:31 AM
Oh, Melody, thanks for the update while Charlotte is getting Pepper out of the doghouse.

That is a relief. I was still a bit concerned that hubby was running around with OW - that happens a lot.

And it makes me feel good that OW's husband is hanging in there too.

All around, a good day. (except for Pepper)
Thanks for getting the update started, Melody!

I was a bit apprehensive about calling OWH, not so much because I was afraid of what he might say about the A partners, but because I didn't want to be too intrusive. Melody reminded me that he called me at 2am the other day so that helped get me motivated along with other things she said.

So H did go back to work and because he is not as affected by what a lot of the others might be saying because he is not as close to as many of them as his AP...his AP is mortified even thinking about going back. Since so many already knew (probably all) and had been talking about them carrying on and getting sick of it...this is something OW hadn't considered in her fog. So she doesn't know if she can return, she's worried about all of the people she was great friends with that were actual friends instead of APs (that we know of), she's not sure if she's going to get fired due to the exposure...she's been "freaking out" for days since the exposure, and the fact that it had actually happened. My mom added that people at work were probably laughing about it too & of course it stops being funny when things that need to be done are not being done on the job and others have to take up the slack.

He wants to work it out and I could clearly tell that he was very open to reconciliation, though apprehensive about trusting her again...but he has been keeping up with her and he wants no secrets and he told her that everything must be open. I mentioned the bank account making it so much easier for her to carry on this A and he heartily agreed. He said he has finally learned to send text messages so she's been seeing a lot of these instead of texts from my H although I'm sure they could be or might be texting and/or talking. OWH has been calling a lot as well as texting but he hasn't been gone all that much so she hasn't had much opportunity to do her thang. And maybe she hasn't tried to contact H yet. It sounds like she's pretty floored. It would be just fine by me if that was the case here, as I've read a lot of other's stories re: those cases. I know there's no guarantee but it's more likely than not, I think because of all of the above reasons as well as facing the family. She was telling H the other day about how OWH's mom held her in such high regard. The way she was talking the other day and times before made me wonder how she was going to react because she seemed so determined to go on this trip and of course did she EVER enjoy slamming on me and ridiculing me and insert other adjectives here, I'm sure the adjectives run the gamut.

I have to insert a couple of thoughts here: Bluffing, eh? And, imagine that, lil' ol' cowering, crazy BS...who took the brunt of the verbal and texting abuse because she had been reduced to her first inital by the infidels and thus became an object...actually got the best of her. And BS didn't have to raise a finger to her, say a word to her or even look at her in order to do this.

OWH said the plan was for her to return home Sunday with him none the wiser and everything the same between them. (I'm sure she would have brought plenty of wool home with her.)

OWH said he felt really bad and couldn't do too much for a couple of days but that he was feeling better and able to focus and get things done today.

We even talked about the sex, how I had been shunned like an old shoe but I had really stopped trying so I wouldn't be rejected after the kiss incident between H & myself. After that we were only together one time. OWH & OW on the other had had been having sexual relations regularly. H & OW used to talk about how they each avoided intimate contact with me & OWH. H thinks they were exclusive to each other. He didn't know the "love of his life" was cheating on him. My goodness! We talked of the things the infidels talked about re: sex that were similar to the relationship OWH had with OW and similar to the way myself & H were. It was almost like she was projecting OWH onto H and H was projecting me onto her. So in addition to the fantasy projecting they were really trying to put OWH & I into their A and didn't even know it. Because that's who they belong with, DUH!

I brought up the lying H did about me to get more attention and sympathy and remarked that when I wasn't monitoring them for a while and I was staying away from the doorway to H's room & just waiting if I had a question or standing out of sight and calling to him, or not going near the room at all, he was probably doing the same thing then.

I brought up a lot of the MB concepts and told OWH how kind and supportive that everyone was here and that people he didn't even know were pulling for him. I also mentioned that I had spoken in person with 2 people here and one even invited me into her home if I needed a haven in case H got too out of hand and I needed to totally get out of town. I brought up MB stuff a lot. At one point he asked me what the name of the site was again so I told him. I hope he does show up. He does want to fix things...he is determined, but worried about what the cheating did to the special relationship & how it could never be the same. I told him they could make things better than ever between them.

I pushed MB A LOT, really, A LOT and I told him that it wasn't like the movie Bowfinger with "Mindhead," in case it sounded too cultish to him or something. I know some people have an aversion to things that seem that way. And it was after I commented about Bowfinger that he asked me for the address again. I really, really hope he comes here.

I stressed to him the importance of informing EVERYONE because the exposure kills the A and well, he is seeing that in action right now. Was he worried about her losing her job? Nope. Didn't bother him in the least. He was the one who brought up NC & that OW had mentioned it too and I told him that he was right, it had to be NC, TOTAL NC FOREVER...even phone calls and emails or ANY other type of correspondence.

So it was a good talk and I felt so, so, so, so good after we talked. We talked about H a bit too, because of course that was the reason I gave for calling. Even after all he read in the evidence he didn't feel hopeless for me. After all that's happened I think he believes that I can pull this off.

So far, so good. And I know I will be okay when I see H and I'll function just fine. A bit nervous? Sure! But I'd be more worried if I WASN'T.

Thanks so much to everyone for the advice and the help and love & support. I LOVE you guys! I might need a boost before I see H but I know that someone will be here to hold my hand and so many of you will be holding my hand even if I don't check in. I'm betting I will, though!

Love,

Charlotte
Oh, I wish she would just quit - that would sure make everything much easier. I DO think it is more embarrassing for a woman to be found out at work than a man. And people probably HAVE been joking about them behind their backs.

My secretary had an affair with an engineer in our office, and EVERYONE knew. It was the juiciest gossip for a long time, and you know how rumors spread. She finally transferred out.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine More OWH - 11/03/07 05:07 AM
Forgot to add:

OWH told me even though he knew I was serious part of him thought I was still FOS...UNTIL he started looking at the material and recognizing familiar things OW had told him and that they'd done, etc. He said the more he read the more he HAD to read and his bro had planned on leaving early but he didn't after that. I'm sure they switched places after they picked up his mom so OWH could read instead of drive.

I think part of it too was because he had been having such reservations about the trip since she blabbed that H told me he was going to move in with his bro. He told me in Nov. or Dec. but I'm sure he told her otherwise.

He hasn't even been in contact with his bro. Whatever he THINKS he's going to do is going to be severly limited by the filing and subsequent temporary orders. And the TRO, which I'm not going to bring up. He is not well versed in the law and I am an avid reader of true crime (like his mom used to be) and I AM McGruff (lest he forget...oh yeah, he did!) Used to watch Court TV a lot but there's too much commentary & not enough trial but there's a lot of info since so many lawyers are invited as guests. As far as Texas law, I know a little but since there are those here who are VERY well-versed in the law I have learned a lot more since. So I don't think I need to bring the TRO up at all. He won't know the difference.

H had a D before but since he had to pay CS he didn't pay much attention to what had to be done for his ex. It was very traumatic for him so he didn't retain much.

I know there are other things I'm going to remember that OWH and I talked about so I'll post those as they come back to me. That way I won't have to be so long on a post!
Me too, believer! And I wasn't even thinking about the joking part 'til Mom brought it up. I was thinking more about the disgust & shoddy work habits both developed...and also the time taken off for coffee, lunch...sometimes leaving after lunch to go wherever, etc.

Someone may have said something before since they both started staying late and later and later. But they were still doing the coffee & lunch, though not every day.

Yeah, I've been at a couple of places where A's occurred, too. Same deal. EVERYONE knew.
I think H was going to call and tell me that he was going to stay with his brother and since he thought I wouldn't call either him or his brother he would have been covered for the 4-day trip.

Then he was going to come home and resume where he left off.

Well, nipped THAT in the bud...snapped THAT Sequoia right in 1/2 & knocked down the stump.

ADDED: I was going to expose to OWH on Thursday originally & was dreading having to go through knowing they were going on that trip. But then I started getting people pushing to do it NOW, TODAY, DON'T WAIT...so I called him & he agreed to meet & the next thing I know I'm flying down the freeway.

I kept my mouth shut initially on the board & also when I talked to OWH about where & what the evidence consisted of. I couldn't come right out and say it since I knew he would tell them. I didn't want them to know ANYTHING about what I might have. I did it here just as a precaution.

Don't show your tells!!!! Believe it!!! I went through that a lot with my former SIL's case...I talked about it on here somewhere.

Uh-oh, I just thought of another movie scenario to tie exposure to...I'd better go now! I'll be typing all night!

Now I'm gonna chop it up and build a new house with it.
So what is his usual behavior when the two of you are having problems? I guess we will just have to wait and see what his next move is. I think Melody gave you good advice on how to approach him.

She is really much better at this stuff. She kept me from making some HUGE mistakes.

The support here is GREAT. When I caught my WH and OW in bed together, I just calmly got in my car, and could hardly wait to post. It was so nice having people who understand on my side. All my friends and family were telling me to divorce him and don't look back. That is what I finally did but I felt so much more at peace after I gave it a good try.

Did Pepper get out?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine More OWH - 11/03/07 05:58 AM
OWH & I talked about the exclusivity factor and how both of our spouses lost the morals they both had when each of us married our SO's. How both WS's used to be as we still were, disgusted at the thought of cheating & at the cheating of others.

OWH told me to hide all of my evidence, just in case so I would have it to be protected and taken care of if need be in the event things didn't work out, and make hard copies of everything. "Just don't read it," he said, "Don't put yourself through that."

And we both talked about how great it was not to be living a lie anymore.

He talked about how he kinda felt weird but was basically in denial and didn't really want to believe that about his wife. And that she did a good job keeping him in the dark.
Hi believer,

How was he before the A re: our problems, or after?

I'm glad I did not have to go through walking in on anything. I feel bad that you had to see that. Eeew. Reading about it and seeing it in your head is bad enough.

Mom & I got Pepper out. We lifted a side of the kennel & she was facing the wrong way, with her butt towards us, and I kept calling her and mom was going to grab her when she finally turned around to where she could see that she could walk out from under the kennel.

I made sure to take PLENTY of pictures!
No, I meant before. Does he tend to not talk and avoid things for days at a time? I'm still surprised he hasn't shown up yet.
No, we never had a problem between us where he dealt with it in that manner. We were always able to talk things out as adults & we consulted each other on decisions that would affect both of us before taking any action. Problems were discussed very openly whether they were between us or we had to deal with problems thrown into our midst that belonged to others.
Okay, that is good. I'm sure he will show up sooner or later. Hopefully he is over most of the anger.

I'm going to bed now, so will talk to you in the AM. I'm helping my mom take care of dad who is gravely ill. He sleeps a couple hours and is up a couple hours, and I want to get some sleep before he's up again.

Hang in there. You are doing great. If you get a chance, post the horse in the doghouse pictures on the MB photo album here. I tried to search for it, but couldn't find it tonight.
Thanks believer. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I went through this with my grandfather in 2005. It's really hard. Knowing that your loved one won't be in pain anymore & that it would be better for them to pass doesn't make going through it any easier. I feel for you on this. I haven't forgotten how it was with my grandfather, who was really more of a father to me than my actual father.

I'd love to post photos of Pep. I took a few with my camera but it didn't work too well. I'll have to get them off to see what they look like on the pc. I looked for the digital but couldn't find it. I think H might have it. I took a bunch with a disposable, too.

Take care & thanks again,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Nothing from H yet - 11/03/07 02:55 PM
Well, still quiet here. He did say "this weekend" so that doesn't necessarily mean today. I'm sure he wants me to be waiting anxiously.

Sorry, I'm too busy for that. He can show up when he shows up. No problemo.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/03/07 03:05 PM
You are doing just great. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/03/07 03:09 PM
Thanks Melody! I was wondering...after confirmation of the A, I developed agoraphobia to a degree. It escalated & I started to think about the Sigourney Weaver/Harry Connick Jr. movie.

Has anyone here experienced this after finding out? Afraid to leave the security of the home? It did make sense to me in a way at the time but I was afraid of it becoming permanent back then.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine One more quick question re: OW & OWH - 11/03/07 03:11 PM
Would it be a good idea to send the link to the infidelity video to OWH?

I hope that H will watch it. If he doesn't, fine. He will eventually.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/03/07 03:17 PM
Quote
Thanks Melody! I was wondering...after confirmation of the A, I developed agoraphobia to a degree. It escalated & I started to think about the Sigourney Weaver/Harry Connick Jr. movie.

Has anyone here experienced this after finding out? Afraid to leave the security of the home? It did make sense to me in a way at the time but I was afraid of it becoming permanent back then.

YES. I avoided my neighbors and friends. I stopped undressing in front of my x. The blinds stayed closed. And I didn't call H's office, because I didn't want to speak to his secretary, who knew how friendly he was with OW. I made silly excuses to a colleague of my H's when she invited me to a surprise b'day party in his honor, because OW was still on staff.

I wanted in the worst way to hide my face.

When I took our son and his friends to see the L.A. Times, son wanted to go and see his Dad. That was agony. [Would have been worse, but OW had left for a better job at this point.] I burned with embarressment as the other mother and our son's classmates came to visit H and greeted his staff, and toured the building. Gritted my teeth, because I was hiding his affair from our son.

Can you imagine, Charlotte, the stupidity?

I'm living vicariously through your success. And I love the "The Thing -34" too.

Kiss Pepper for me. I love animals (though horses scare me.) I love horses from the other side of the fence.

And I had not done anything wrong.

By the way, your posts are hysterical. In a good way.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: One more quick question re: OW & OWH - 11/03/07 03:21 PM
Quote
Would it be a good idea to send the link to the infidelity video to OWH?

Thats a great idea!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine re: agoraphobia - 11/03/07 03:30 PM
Thank you, Bellevue!

This has been something I was curious about, not only because of myself but because H's ex suffered from agoraphobia. This made me wonder when I started suffering from it. I can't remember exactly when he told me this, but I thought it might be related to her other mental problems, which pervaded their marriage from the beginning and are something she has problems with to this day, although not the agoraphobia anymore.

He told me he never cheated on her. He knew how I felt about it because not too long before I had been in a relationship where this happened. That guy was a serial cheater and a sociopath. I saw a lot of him in my ex-SIL but sex "addiction" for lack of a better term at this moment IS one of the earmarks of a sociopath. Lots and lots of sex, different partners, unprotected sex, etc.

Granted that other disorders can cause this but lack of conscience in someone...makes perfect sense that sex would be this way for sociopaths. There were many other factors with this serial cheater I was with & when I broke away & gained some perspective, I totally saw it all.

I'd like to ask H if he cheated on his ex. I thought about it the other day but since I was getting the Cleopatra saga from him when I tried to talk to him about the A, I didn't bother asking.

I'll give Pep a kiss. I just hope she's not in that kennel again! We have some smaller animals, too. A regular menagerie!
Thanks again Melody! I've had his email almost since the beginning. I hid it away in mom's email in case I was going to need it someday.

I did TRY to send it before bed but my browser started acting up thanks to yahoo & their new page-it was sucking up all of my resources and messages would not load correctly, nor could I compose a message.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: One more quick question re: OW & OWH - 11/03/07 04:09 PM
Hey Charlotte, since your WS probably won't tell you the truth about any previous affairs, can you ask one of his kids to find out?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H's ex - 11/03/07 04:34 PM
Hi Melody,

I'll sure ask and see if they can find out. I'm sure their mom would tell them. I just wonder: if it DID happen, if she actually would have or have had any proof of an A.

I guess I'll find out! I think I'll call oldest son now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Heard from H - 11/03/07 06:50 PM
I am still unable to access messages on Yahoo. I saw that I had two new emails from H.

So I called him. It went to VM but CW beeped so I knew it was him.

I asked him about the msgs. Turns out he was responding to old msgs. from the other night when he wrote.

He is at work. He asked if I was calling because I wanted to know when he was going to show up. I told him no, I was calling about the msgs.

About which I had already told him. He sounded normal; i.e.-not overmedicated. I suspect he overmedicated to call yesterday and I think I'm right on this. I'm sure there were other reasons as well.

OWH is off on the weekends so you can bet he & his wife are together. Besides, I could hear actual work noises. Haven't heard that in some time.

So H will let me know when he is going to get here.

That's the latest...
Okay, here it is:

S25 talked to his mom about what was going on w/the A last night. She told him she had her suspicions but never any hard proof. And (cue the bugle!) it was a coworker.

S25 said that his mom told him that S25 had told her that when they had separated & during visitations, H had been spending time w/OW at the apartment & she had kids so S25 & OW's kids played together. S25 also told her they'd gone swimming in the apt. pool, etc.

S25 said he didn't remember telling her this but he was 6-years-old when they split up.

I feel a little sick to my stomach. Now I don't know if I want to talk to H today. I'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I am going to see if I can find all of the folders from when we got together. He'd been showing me poems, etc. and I remember there were letters from other women to H that he said he'd dated after he was divorced.

OK, then. I'll check back in later.

ADDED: S25 has been busy. He remembered his dad sending emails mentioning OW & also had the pics from the Horrorfest we attended in Dallas. He's been BUSY!! How do you think he's going to feel about his dad now?
hmmmmm surprise, surprise! Any chance you could email her picture to me? Since we live in the same town it would be interesting to watch out for her.
Hi Melody,

I think I can. If not I can get you the links to the vids. Or even both. I'll have to send it from my aol account if it hasn't been compromised. If it has I'll check my gmail account. He doesn't have pw to any of mine except aol.

I feel like I did when I found confirmation of the A, only not quite as intense.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Melody - 11/03/07 09:04 PM
I'll need your email addy again. Thanks.
I'm sorry Charlotte that you're feeling more pain. Everytime we find more stuff it's like another DDay. I'm afraid there'll be more. Hang tight. Find that backbone again.

Your WS is a piece of work.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Melody - 11/03/07 09:10 PM
Charlotte...

Mel's addy is xxxxxxxxx@xxx.com

Mrs. W
Thanks MicheleG!

My stomach is better but my heart is still pounding in my chest.

Sheesh! I know he'd never admit that. He'll go to his grave denying it. I'm not asking him anything about it at this point. As for S25 and very likely S21? I think that they will definitely bring it up. He destroyed their family & now he's trying to destroy ours. I'm going to stop him. The kids deserve WAAAAAY better.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Thank you, Mrs. W - 11/03/07 09:16 PM
Thank you Mrs. W!

I should have remembered but still a little shaken right now.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thank you, Mrs. W - 11/03/07 09:21 PM
Quote
Thank you Mrs. W!

I should have remembered but still a little shaken right now.

Completely understandable Charlotte...I'll go back and remove it now that you have it...(((Charlotte)))

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Just wanted to say - 11/03/07 09:45 PM
This will make it much easier to talk to H.

I'm feeling almost back to normal now. With an even newer vision of a broken, flawed human being. Who's not even trying to fix anything. Catscan indeed. How 'bout some HEAVY IC?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H called again - 11/03/07 10:37 PM
He's not going to make it today. I guess he thought I'd sound all sad and stuff. HA! He has no idea how relieved I am, for DIFFERENT reasons. He will look so ugly to me if I see him today. Even uglier than he already looks right now thanks to his choice to have an A.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 3rd H call - 11/04/07 12:22 AM
Wanted to tell me that he would make sure the health insurance would be taken care of for me, he didn't want me to worry, no matter what happens between us. "If there's a divorce or not a divorce," I'll be taken care of, says H.

I was like, crap! He's bringing that up now and I didn't want to tell him over the phone!

Anyway he said he wanted to let me know because he'd been worrying about it and didn't want to wake up at 2am thinking about it & unable to call because of the time.

What a goofball.

Either he's fishing for info...as Melody suggested, or he's trying to figure out if it's really me answering the phone. I guess he thought the mention of a D might rattle me.

Poor H...he'll never know what hit him. Again.
Posted By: believer Re: 3rd H call - 11/04/07 03:36 AM
I think he may be stalling for time until he can compare notes with the OW.

I wonder if it would be a good idea to let it "slip" that OW and her hubby were having SF all this time. When the time is right, you might mention that OW's husband was completely shocked because they have been having sex all along.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 3rd H call - 11/04/07 04:02 AM
Hi believer,

She's going to need to work pretty hard to exhange notes w/H. OWH is on her like a tick on a deer.

I think he (OWH) plans to get her a new number for her phone. Good for him.

Besides, H can stall all he likes for whatever reason. He knows I'm not going to talk about that over the phone. Unless he chickens out tomorrow. Then I will. He's just scared of me.

Thanks for the tip. That's a GREAT way of wording it! Much better than mine!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Poem - 11/04/07 05:32 AM
I wrote this not long after confirmation of the A. I forgot to date it but I know it was early July. I didn't title it. If anyone has a suggestion...bring it on! I ran across this tonight while going through some paperwork so I thought I'd post it:

I am falling...falling...free-fall...
In my mind...falling...
Through a thin scrim of diaphanous clouds,
I see the patchwork of Earth below...

Falling...my chute won't open,
It doesn't matter where I hit the ground,
The pain will be the same.
Like death.

Bleeding...raw, open wound...bleeding...
Blood is teardrops...open wound weeps...
And weeps...teardrops...
Flowing...never-ending.

I stand at the chasm of nothing.
Nothing stares back.
My purpose is nothing.

The special chain, the links broken,
A broken half of what was once one.
Falling...free-falling...down down down...
Into infinite pain and sadness.
I am broken.

Abandoned in the dark,
I cry out for help,
But there is no answer.
************************************************************

I never showed this to H.
Posted By: believer Re: Poem - 11/04/07 05:59 AM
(((((((((Charlotte))))))))

How are you doing tonight?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Poem - 11/04/07 06:07 AM
Hi believer,

Thanks for the hug. I'm doing pretty good. I've been looking through paperwork for old phone bills from home and H's former cell to see if there's any flurry of activity in months I didn't check. So far I found a 1m call from her cell to him in April and a 6 minute call from her to him on May 9. Three days after my birthday.

I'm trying to pin down a closer date to the EA. I'm pretty sure it was late May/early June because we never went out to celebrate our anniversary on May 22.
Posted By: MrWondering Re: Poem - 11/04/07 06:07 AM
Quote
Abandoned in the dark,
I cry out for help,
But there is no answer.

You weren't abandoned
God was there with you
He heard you and He answered you
He sent you to us.
Where you obtained the message from Him.
To shine lightness in dark.
Expose TRUTH.

YOU received His message
and
YOU had the courage to remove the darkness

It's still pretty crappy
but it FEELS better
almost tolerable

Feelings follow action

Continue to act
with integrity
and
light from above

YOU are going to make it
one way or another
YOU'LL be OK

Act and live within His will.

Mr. Wondering
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Poem - 11/04/07 07:49 AM
Thank you, Mr. Wondering!

I believe you are right. There is divine intervention ALL OVER this. All of the coincidences can't just be coincidence. One of those things being the fact that H never discovered how I was collecting evidence. And I stopped checking it for a while, a few months...yet it was STILL there when I went back. I really didn't think it would be. I was SO SURE he'd found it!

And so many Texans gravitated to my thread not even knowing I am a Texan, too. Melody told me about that. I had no idea.

I love to help people in any way I can and I asked God to please get me/us out of this so I could get back to normal & do those things again. Now I have a great way to help people out.

I have been contemplating going back to school and I want to go to culinary school. My aunt and others think I should become a PI. Well, I can do both! As I PI, I can help those who are being affected by adultery and send them here while I gather the evidence so they can study everything.

That would be great!!

I don't know why I'm still up yet again...I think I'll try and sleep soon. I finally finished going through those phone bills.

Have a great night/morning all you wonderful people!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Melody - 11/04/07 07:53 AM
Melody, Melody, what a lovely Melody...guess what I have???

THE address!!!!

(hee hee hee..."Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water," OW...) someone please cue the Jaws theme...
Posted By: believer Re: Melody - 11/04/07 07:56 AM
The address to what?

I think you SHOULD be a PI.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Melody - 11/04/07 08:13 AM
Hi believer...

tsk, tsk...you know I can't reveal that...

But seriously, I can reveal who's address, just not the source...I've been doing a lot of research today, just like dear S25.

I found the address of OW & OWH. It wasn't accessible and only gave the town on search engines. Evil me, I got that thing. Now Melody can do some recon...if she so chooses...

Oh, and also...I'm not sure of OW's age again. I've found conflicting info. 34 or 44? OWH is 44. That's been consistent.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Melody - 11/04/07 01:23 PM
good sluething, Charlotte. Hope you are getting some much needed sleep! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Melody - 11/04/07 03:06 PM
Popping in to say "Wow!"
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Melody - 11/04/07 03:31 PM
Thanks Melody and Bellevue!

Melody, I slept a little longer than I have for the past week. I've been sleeping about 3 hours a night. Hey, I managed five hours this time! Again, I forgot my bedroom clock was already 1 hour ahead, so I thought...ok, 3am to 9am is pretty good. Then I walked out and remembered the time change and that it was actually 8am.

Ok, 5 hours is pretty good! And it's different than before when I couldn't sleep because of the pain and I'd wake up constantly after many nightmares. You know what I mean!
Posted By: suamico Re: Melody - 11/04/07 04:38 PM
The Thing: 34

TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!! I saw that someone made a comment about this in your sig. I totally didn't get it. Then today I saw it again and BINGO! Just wanted to let you know you made me laugh today <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Melody - 11/04/07 05:42 PM
Thanks, suamico!

I just couldn't bring myself to be polite & use "OW."

Glad I made you laugh today!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: suamico Re: Melody - 11/04/07 06:09 PM
Quote
Thanks, suamico!

I just couldn't bring myself to be polite & use "OW."

Glad I made you laugh today!!

Take care,

Charlotte

Well if I was in your position I wouldn't use OW either but I don't know if the MB would allow me to use the "title" I would pick <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: suamico - 11/04/07 06:29 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H came home to talk - 11/05/07 01:49 AM
H called this afternoon and asked if it would be okay if he could come over in an hour. I agreed. He sounded really apprehensive so I wondered if he'd even show up.

Well, he did so I offered him his favorite cookies but he said he wasn't hungry. (gee, wonder why?) He did grab one of his Diet Cokes out of the fridge and then we went into the living room. He turned on another light so we could see each other better.

When he came in at first there was a little small talk and I showed him the Halloween pic of DIL & DGS5m. He like it.

So back to the living room. I started off telling him what Melody and I had discussed so I could get a good start. I told him everyone knew about the affair and HR was investigating and I had provided them with evidence. He was very rattled at this. He said I might have shot us in the foot with that one.

He talked about how he was worried now about losing his job and we'd lose the health insurance, and he wanted to make sure I had all of my health issues taken care of, etc. I assured him he could get another job. So he said not at that rate of pay...blah blah blah this that and the other. I said not to worry about it, that everything would be okay.

I told him I had talked to OWH, that he had called me at 2:30 a.m. after he'd talked to OW and she had confessed. I told him that OW was embarassed and didn't want to go back to work and also that OW didn't know if she'd even have a job. I told him OWH had told me that OW & OWH had decided to reconcile and that she did not want to see H again.

I told him that I'd had no choice but to file for a D, but that I did not really want to do that and had agonized over the decision. I told him I'd had no choice, I had to protect myself and although I thought there was a way to protect myself without filing, it turned out that I couldn't do it that way so I'd had to file. I told him I still loved him and I wanted to save our marriage for us, but also for the rest of the family, especially the kids. I told him that it was possible for us to save our marriage but that I did not want to go back to the way things were before the A, I wanted us to work and make our marriage even better and stronger than before. I told him that he would have to prove himself to me.

We talked a while longer and he was still freaking out about the investigation and wanted to go into his room and see if he could retrieve those pictures for me from his laptop. He also found the digital camera, it was at our house after all...I couldn't find it and I thought he was BSing me on the phone when he said he didn't have it. I thought he might have taken it for their trip.

He was talking about the money again and I said well, I thought you were probably taking it out for your trip with OWH. He said, "What trip?" I said, "You remember, the one that you two planned to go on for four days." He denied it again. I told him that OWH had told me that OW had told him all about the trip and that there was fake paperwork she'd had made up for that she had shown to OWH and OWH had said that apparently they were going on this trip and when she returned to OWH Sunday OWH was supposed to be none the wiser.

I told him that OWH had said that I was supposed to get a phone call from H and H was supposed to "let me have it as little or as much as he wanted."

He said, what do you mean "let you have it?"

I said, "You know, tell me off." He denied it.

I asked him, "Are you telling me that OW lied to OWH about this?" He said he didn't know and that there was NO trip.

I told him, "Well, that's what she told OWH."

I was trying not to laugh about this.

When we were discussing OWH & OW at the very beginning of our conversation I told him OWH and I had talked about our sex lives and I told OWH about our lack of a sex life and that OWH was surprised because OWH and OW had been having intercourse the whole time the A was going on. I told him that OWH & I had talked about other similarities between OW & OWH's sexual relationship as compared to mine and H's and that the similarities were abundant.

He calmed down quite a bit before he left and he couldn't retrieve the photos so he said he was taking the laptop with him. I told him that I thought that had been the plan all along, that he was going to take it with him.

I packed the toiletries he had forgotten while he was working on the pc. I asked him where he had been staying. He said he'd been sleeping at work & that he had an air mattress he'd bought. He was unsure about where to go so I asked him about his bro but he didn't really want to go there, so I asked if he thought he & his bro would not get along. He said there was a possibility of that.

When he was ready to leave, he told me he did not hate me and whatever happened between us, whether we were divorced or not, that he always wanted to be my friend. I told him I didn't hate him either, I still loved him and wanted to save our marriage.

Earlier when I had told him this during the D conversation, I told him I wanted us to work on the marriage AND each other; as in he work on himself while I continued to work on myself. I told him I knew that he'd been trying to fix himself in some ways but that I thought it would be a really good idea if he would go to IC. I told him that his health would get a lot better now that he wasn't living a lie, just like me. I told him how much better I felt to be purged of the poison of the A that was bottled up inside of me because I was keeping a secret that wasn't even mine.

I told him I knew he'd been taking more pills lately and that I wished he'd try and stop and reminded him about how good I felt not having to rely on pain pills. I said to him that he should remember how pain pills can have that opposite effect where you end up taking them when you feel bad and then feel bad and hungover from taking them.

I wished him a safe trip back and told him to be sure and look for that comet (he didn't know about it, I'd told him earlier.)

I told him I appreciated that he talked to me and that we were able to talk like humans.

I did not ask him to call me or ask when he would be back.

********************************
I apologize for this being a little out of order in places, I kept remembering things from earlier but didn't want to have to do a whole re-edit.

I'll probably remember some other stuff so I'll post it later when I do.

I WAS quite nervous before he arrived but once he did and we started talking, the nervousness subsided. He looked me in the eye when we talked, except for when we were discussing the trip, he was looking at the pc and would not look at me.

Did I do okay, MB veterans and others here?

I felt really good after we talked. It was a relief to finally be able to talk to him about the A and not have to listen to, "What A?" or "You're crazy." or "(insert any WS phrase here)"

More later as I remember other things.

Thanks for reading!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:34 AM
Wow, you blew him right out of the water. Wow.

Beautifully executed Plan A and Exposure. Whistling in wonder.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:35 AM
You did GREAT Charlotte. Sounds like you were calm and didn't LB. Very good.

You've got a very good handle on the carrot and the stick of Plan A. It seems to be working. Keep doing it. It's going to crumble.

Good job!!!!
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:40 AM
It seems to me that he still treat you like a doormat. What about his lies about the affair? Did he at least apologize? Did he feel bad about sleeping with this OW behind your back and for you to find out by talk to her husband?

The whole meeting seems like you're trying to apologize for filing for divorce, you had to disclose to his job, etc. and it also seems like he's forgiving you by saying "no matter what, I still want to be your friend."

By doing what you did, I don't think he will learn much. You didn't seem to be mad at all and all forgiving for such a big betrayal. The only thing he has learn is maybe next time to make sure the OW is not from his work and most of the problems you're giving him today will be eliminated.
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:42 AM
Amazing what can happen when enabling is disabled! What an inspiration you are Charlotte! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Glad you saw your name in the Enabling thread title. I did it Thursday, but you were kinda pre-occupied, weren't ya!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> (Just a heads up.....you can only change thread title names for 60 days....not sure if there is a total 'change limit' but you must have the record for recent history!!! I just look for your name and over 500 posts!)

Keep Plan Aing....you're doing great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Ace
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:48 AM
Quote
It seems to me that he still treat you like a doormat. What about his lies about the affair? Did he at least apologize? Did he feel bad about sleeping with this OW behind your back and for you to find out by talk to her husband?

The whole meeting seems like you're trying to apologize for filing for divorce, you had to disclose to his job, etc. and it also seems like he's forgiving you by saying "no matter what, I still want to be your friend."

By doing what you did, I don't think he will learn much. You didn't seem to be mad at all and all forgiving for such a big betrayal. The only thing he has learn is maybe next time to make sure the OW is not from his work and most of the problems you're giving him today will be eliminated.

BA-- Do you EVEN understand what MB is about? Your "advice" above is exactly what someone would say who doesn't have a clue about MB.

Charlotte-- You did excellent. You can't expect him to "respond" as BA naively suggest above because he's still a WS in his mind. You gave him a lot to absorb tonight and you betcha he replaying your conversation in his head. He's probably reeling that his little wife grew a backbone and fought for y'all's marriage. Way to go girlfriend.

His head is probably spinning right now.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:51 AM
I can't even imagine his confusion. LOL. He's probably thinking...what the heck just happened?

Keep it up.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:55 AM
go away, troll
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:57 AM
Charlotte, you did great! Just sit back and wait for the fireworks at work tomorrow. Follow through with the next step we discussed. That should kill the vampire. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 02:58 AM
Charlotte - just ignore Bumadvisor - Do you know how to put posters on ignore?
Posted By: jmwc95 Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:00 AM
The only comment that I would like to make is that the next time he brings up the "friends" word, tell him that he is your husband or NOTHING to you. There is no in between, and it is his decision to make. Part of killing the fantasy is destroying the "illusion" that you can be friends once you divorce.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:00 AM
Charlotte and I discussed her calling up Human Resources tomorrow just to ensure they got her letter, offer up evidence and inform them that the affairees have been playing WHOOPIE IN THE OFFICE. She is going to ask "what will you be doing about this." This should cause some huge problems in affair land. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:11 AM
Right, the final touches need to be done. Loose ends tied up. Taking care of business. Finish ALL the penicillin.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:16 AM
Quote
Finish ALL the penicillin.

LOL - what a great analogy!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:23 AM
Best, how many marriages have you helped to recover after an affair? Have you ever been married? Are you married now?

What Charlotte has done is nothing short of miraculous. Negative comments at this point are damaging.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:24 AM
....thanks princessmeggy. I'm lousy with analogies...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:31 AM
Quote
Quote:
Finish ALL the penicillin.



LOL - what a great analogy!




Hahaha....I thought so too....so that cancerous "thing" would go away.


Charlotte, great job! I guarantee you that your demeanor and posistion was not what your husband was expecting. He probably expected you to be falling apart, or whatever. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I thought all the things you discussed with him were perfect. It'll give him hope for a great marriage and he has to be growing respect for you by leaps and bounds. He now knows that you are no pushover, serious about your marriage, not a low life ho like the "thing", and he probably misses you already. I don't think he's going to want to stay away too much longer. If he does, we've got a plan for that too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Sleep well. Ya did good.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:36 AM
Ace, you've got mail. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 03:41 AM
Great Job Charlotte!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 04:11 AM
Hey Everybody!

Thanks so much for all of the encouragement! I thought things went really well. I caught myself apologizing for something at one point but I then said, no, I'm NOT sorry...because...etc. You'll have to forgive me I don't recall exactly what we were talking about at the time. It wasn't the D, but I can't remember. It'll probably come back to me, though.

I was just thinking about when he was so adamant that there was no trip. I feel that this is hard for him to face right now; that he was planning this romantic get-a-way, and that there was OW saying the statement I talked about earlier, etc., and I think he feels bad about this, that he was going to run-off for a tryst that way & leave me to rot for 4 days. I think eventually he will be able to talk about this.

The fact that OW is sharing all of the info and confessing everything really helps, I think, and helps drive home the fact that it is OVER between them to H. Otherwise, why would she share their intimate details with her SO?<<(H is probably thinking.) I think that will make a BIG impression on H; things weren't so special after all.

He can't very well deny the trip (although he did tonight) because he KNOWS I KNOW about it and have all of the info via OWH from OW, (and myself but I didn't let on that I was the one who had it first!) I think the fact that OWH and I have been talking and comparing notes made an impression on H. And I wasn't lying when I implied OWH had given me this information because OW told OWH about the trip.

Oh yeah, I forgot to add earlier: I told H I'd told OWH to bring someone with him when I met with him because it was going to hurt to see the evidence & that OWH initially said he'd be okay but then he brought his bro with him.

He never asked to see what evidence I had. The important thing is that he didn't deny the A and we were able to talk about it, thanks to Melody and others who helped me with the opening dialogue.

Also, I wasn't talking to him about it in an accusing matter or anything like that. It was like we were talking about the weather, or something.

I think I forgot to add earlier that when I asked him what he intended to do about the A, he said what is there to do? OW doesn't want to see me again.

Oh yeah, and I told him to be sure to take his Red Sox jacket with him because we have a cold front coming.

More later as it comes back to me.

Thanks again!!!
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 04:20 AM
Quote
I think I forgot to add earlier that when I asked him what he intended to do about the A, he said what is there to do? OW doesn't want to see me again.

Everyone is going to attack me on this. But, I still want to ask you, how do you feel when he said that? Does it make you feel like the only reason he is willing to return back to you is because OW didn't want him?
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 04:30 AM
Quote
Everyone is going to attack me on this. But, I still want to ask you, how do you feel when he said that? Does it make you feel like the only reason he is willing to return back to you is because OW didn't want him?

(Sigh). BA if you really understood how this works, you would know that what he SAYS right now is coming from a place that's very confusing and foggy. She can not and should not put stock in any of his REASONS right now. And she certainly shouldn't base her decisions on how she "FEELS" right now.
Posted By: Marshmallow Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 04:39 AM
Quote
But, I still want to ask you, how do you feel when he said that? Does it make you feel like the only reason he is willing to return back to you is because OW didn't want him?


How does it feel having a dead heart/soul?

Cold?

Ugly?

Empty?

Vile?

God speaks about how He gives people up...to go their own way.

Tell us, do you think this has happened to you? And does it feel as awful as it sounds?

~ Marsh
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 04:39 AM
She also doesn't need to be worried for now about his motivations for coming home and ending the affair.

Plenty of satisfying recoveries came out of inauspicious beginnings.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 05:11 AM
Thanks for the input to that question Marshmallow, big kahuna,
princess meggy.

My own answer to BA is:

It didn't bother me at all. I had no physiological, emotional, or any other kind of reaction to it.

And the thought you raised, BA, never crossed my mind at all.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 05:16 AM
Oh yes, I remembered something else I didn't think I mentioned.

I don't remember at which point we were in the conversation or how it came about but I made sure to state that my motivation was not out of revenge, or to be vindictive. Every action I have taken has been done out of love. And to free everyone from the pain of living a lie.
Posted By: BestAdvisor1 Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 05:21 AM
Quote
My own answer to BA is:

It didn't bother me at all. I had no physiological, emotional, or any other kind of reaction to it.

And the thought you raised, BA, never crossed my mind at all.

Good for you that it did not bother you at all. Essentially that's what he's saying whether he truly mean it or not. And, next time, when he said "we will always be friends" or "I always be your friend" make sure you remind him that he can either be your faithful husband or nothing and there is no in between. Remind him that there is no "friendship" whatsoever IF the marriage ends.

*****************************************************
*****************************************************

BestAdvisor1,

This is a MarriageBUILDERS forum!!!

Please familiarize yourself with the MarriageBuilders concepts & principles!

JustUss
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 05:23 AM
You are a true winner, Charlotte and God will reward your heart. This thread is such an inspiration and I'm glad someone rated it the 5 stars it deserves.

Keep it up. (You're funny as all get out, too!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Ace
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H came home to talk - 11/05/07 07:23 AM
Thank you, Ace! That was very sweet.

After I returned home tonight I saw that H had called at 8:30. Our machine is still out of tape, I guess I'd better find one now.

I'm curious as to why he called but he did not call my cell so I guess it wasn't too urgent.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Almost forgot... - 11/05/07 07:25 AM
Just wanted to send out a "Thank You" to the person responsible for "5 starring" this thread.

That's more good ju-ju for myself, WS, our marriage, and our family.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Almost forgot... - 11/05/07 09:37 AM
Way to go Charlotte, you did a greaaaat job. You know, right now WH is feeling a betrayal at the hands of OW. What a HUGE LB he has to absorb. He will try to get the OW to explain herself and then he will start defogging. The fantasy is crumbling. GF
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Almost forgot... - 11/05/07 12:43 PM
Charlotte, please put "bumAdvisor" on ignore. She knows nothing about Marriage Builders principles and is only here to confuse and upset newcomers. She is a shark who smells blood in the water and is here to take a nip out you. She is a blood thirsty shark who cares nothing about your marriage and hasn't any idea how to save it. Please ignore it.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/05/07 12:47 PM
Quote
Thanks Melody! I was wondering...after confirmation of the A, I developed agoraphobia to a degree. It escalated & I started to think about the Sigourney Weaver/Harry Connick Jr. movie.

Has anyone here experienced this after finding out? Afraid to leave the security of the home? It did make sense to me in a way at the time but I was afraid of it becoming permanent back then.

I haven't suffered from it personally, but I know that Nikko did a few years ago. I'll see if I can direct her over here for you.
Posted By: nikko Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/05/07 01:04 PM
hi charlotte....i'm nikko and i lost over two years of my life to being shut in. i still have small bouts with it but it doesnt stop me from going out anymore. if i can help in any way...just ask.

your doing great by the way....
Posted By: believer Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/05/07 02:35 PM
Charlotte - I had panic attacks and they resulted in some agoraphobia for about 5 years. It was not from an affair, but an abusive relationship with my son's dad. The weird thing is it didn't happen until I was OUT of the relationship.

Anti-D's help. If you don't want to take them, relaxation exercises every day work. Listen to soothing music, and tighten and then relax every muscle starting with your toes. About 20 minutes each day will turn things around.

Hang in there, you are doing just fine.

Hang in there. You are doing fine.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Nothing from H yet - 11/05/07 04:03 PM
Everyone, I am so pleased about Charlotte & H's progress so far. Through my day, this thread nags at me and brings my mood up so cheerful.

Cyberspace. This type of building board could only happen in cyberspace. The most positive use of the internet.

Charlotte used the tools and support and postings the best way possible. I feel like doing a pirouette. [In cyberspace I can do that!]
Posted By: Dancing_Machine agoraphobia - 11/05/07 04:15 PM
Thank you Dobie, nikko and believer,

They gradually started getting better to the point where I could actually function when I needed to go to the store or the doctor or take care of my grandma.

And go horseback riding for the first time since (?), well, a long time!

I was afraid to leave the save haven of home and I was also afraid H would come home & move out while I was gone. This was due to reading the correspondence between H & OW, too, because they had discussed how to get rid of me & OWH at an earlier point in the A, close to the beginning.

One plan was to rent a u-haul and take off and leave us in the dust.

For months I tried to tell myself that there was no way for them to do this undetected, he would have to call me if I was at my g'ma's because I'm only 2 minutes away. Our town is very small.

I do appreciate the advice, though. I wanted to gain more insight on agoraphobia as it relates to infidelity.

Thanks & have a great day!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine the miracle of cyberspace - 11/05/07 04:27 PM
Hi Bellevue!

Thank you, I'll do a pirouette right next to you. We'll choreograph the ballet, "The NEW Nutcracker: Dance of the Infidels, etc." (or some title to that effect.)

And now I can use the internet again and not hate it anymore because it was used to further H's A. That doesn't bother me ANYMORE! And I had developed an aversion to using it for a while. But, since I had to do research, I had to use the internet...good thing I got over "Cyberspaceaphobia"-the fear of using the internet or certain programs on the internet, like instant messaging, for example.

Have a great day!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: the miracle of cyberspace - 11/05/07 04:33 PM
Quote
Thank you, I'll do a pirouette right next to you. We'll choreograph the ballet, "The NEW Nutcracker: Dance of the Infidels, etc." (or some title to that effect.)

I nearly spit out my coke when I read this. Too funny (especially as it relates to a WH). <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: the miracle of cyberspace - 11/05/07 04:57 PM
Princess, you can do pirouettes and arabesques right alonside us in cyberspace. Auditions are now being held.....nobody will be "nexted."
Posted By: believer Re: the miracle of cyberspace - 11/05/07 04:59 PM
Charlotte - Try doing the exercises. I went to work the whole time, but had a horrible time in meetings, couldn't drive on the freeway, and would go to the store, and suddenly have to leave without my groceries. It seems like it comes out of the blue, but behind it all there is a lot of stress. That is why relaxing everyday helps.

Just remember, the affair almost always ends, and you will most likely have your hubby back. Stick with your plan.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine princessmeggy - 11/05/07 05:07 PM
Thanks princessmeggy!

I didn't think I'd EVER be able to joke about the A, because it was so painful.

Of course, I never imagined I'd ever be able to talk in any detail about the A at all...especially the physical part. In my wildest dreams I never thought I'd be talking about it with OWH and comparing notes!

And I still feel GREAT! No problems sleeping or staying in our home alone...it helped that he was away so much during the A but I wasn't ENJOYING being at home then.

Just waiting and waiting and waiting and fretting and plenty of other negative emotions!

I have to mention Taylor when he was in his cell on "The Planet of the Apes"

"It's a MADHOUSE!!!!!!! A MADHOUSE!!!!"

Now things have changed and if H tried to touch me I'd have to say, "Get your stinkin' paws off me you damn dirty ape!"

I guess this will change someday. For H's sake, I hope so. But really, right now I have no desire for any physical contact with him.
Posted By: suamico Re: princessmeggy - 11/05/07 07:34 PM
Wow Char,
I didn't know they made monkey wrenches that big! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: suamico - 11/05/07 07:42 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: princessmeggy - 11/05/07 07:45 PM
Charlotte, jokes are always about the things we fear the most. Death, abandonment, rejection. Humor helps us distance ourselves from the pain.

Here's one of my faves:

An elderly man, on his deathbed, loses all interest in life, food, everything. He gives up, becomes non-responsive. The doctor comes to make a housecall (Yes, this is an old joke) and announces to the wife that it is just a matter of a day or two.

The wife makes calls to the mortuary and picks out the suit she wants her hubby to be buried in. She phones the grocer for delivery to make up some food for visitors who will attend the funeral and then come for calling hours at her home.

She fixes Beef Roulade, scalloped potatoes, and candied carrots. The smell fills the house. She bakes bundt cakes and a berry pie.

The old man's eyes flutter, he rouses from near death, shuffles out to the kitchen leaning on his walker. He reaches out to pull a piece of the beef from the end of the Roulade. His eyes sparkle, and he says "Darling, your cooking has brought me back ......"

His wife swats his hand away irritably. "Damn it Ed, that's for after!"

[Did I tell it right?]
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Quick update - 11/05/07 07:46 PM
I talked to OWH today so I could tell him of the new info re: H and his XW. I gave him a brief rundown about H's visit and also told him H was afraid of what was going to happen w/HR.

I called HR to follow up on my letter but was sent to VM. I will be calling again shortly.

TTFN!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Bellevue - 11/05/07 07:49 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Heyyyyy Bellevue! You are right. I always forget to remember about the humor during trying times.

Thanks for the funny!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine HR update - 11/05/07 08:12 PM
Okay, I called HR again. The head of HR and many others have GFD. Turns out they had int'l visitors today. The receptionist was kind enough to share this information with me.

So now I won't be sitting and waiting for a return call for nothing. Ah, what a relief! I'm glad I found out because I was thinking about driving to the corporate office if need be. Not before getting advice first because I wasn't sure if I should really do this or not. And of course, I'd be armed with all of the evidence. Graphic or not.

I now have the HR supervisor's name.

Also, I asked if H's immediate boss was there and he'd GFD, too.

That's the latest!

"Ain't no stoppin' us nowwwww, we're on the move!"
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/05/07 08:25 PM
Good girl! What is "GFD??"
Posted By: believer Re: HR update - 11/05/07 08:41 PM
Gone for the day
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: HR update - 11/05/07 08:45 PM
Outta there.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 08:54 PM
Do ya'll think I should go there in person? Or should I go ahead and call again tomorrow and see how it goes when I talk to HR Supe & H's supe?

Or should I deliver my package anyway? Dressed very conservatively of course...in clothing that covers me from head to toe and closed shoes so I am in compliance with the dress code at H's company? I'm not going to go out and buy a burka or anything but no excess skin should be showing.

I could wear a scarf unless ya'll think that's too much. That's if I end up taking the trip. I want to make sure that this is approved by you guys.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: HR update - 11/05/07 08:59 PM
Quote
Do ya'll think I should go there in person? Or should I go ahead and call again tomorrow and see how it goes when I talk to HR Supe & H's supe?

Or should I deliver my package anyway? Dressed very conservatively of course...in clothing that covers me from head to toe and closed shoes so I am in compliance with the dress code at H's company? I'm not going to go out and buy a burka or anything but no excess skin should be showing.

I could wear a scarf unless ya'll think that's too much. That's if I end up taking the trip. I want to make sure that this is approved by you guys.

I say wait.

Are you serious about the dress? What kind of company does he work for (without revealing names)?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:02 PM
Hi princess meggy,

Let's see...one of the members of the family who owns the company is VERY good friends with [censored] Cheney. He is a Prince.

Is that enough of a hint?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:05 PM
And Bush once held hands with a member of this family...the photo was all over the press and the butt of many jokes.
Posted By: suamico Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:17 PM
Quote
And Bush once held hands with a member of this family...the photo was all over the press and the butt of many jokes.
Heh heh...you said butt.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:35 PM
Quote
Do ya'll think I should go there in person? Or should I go ahead and call again tomorrow and see how it goes when I talk to HR Supe & H's supe?

Or should I deliver my package anyway? Dressed very conservatively of course...in clothing that covers me from head to toe and closed shoes so I am in compliance with the dress code at H's company? I'm not going to go out and buy a burka or anything but no excess skin should be showing.

I could wear a scarf unless ya'll think that's too much. That's if I end up taking the trip. I want to make sure that this is approved by you guys.

No kidding, I just happen to have a burqua, dark blue, that my mother bought when she was in the Peace Corps in Afghanistan back in the early 70s, while the King was still in power.
Interested? (Ma made a few alternations to it, but it's still pretty full coverage.)

Let me know, email with your address, I'll ship it off to you! No sense spending money on something you'll only wear once. (Of course I need it back after......)

Again, this is NOT a joke. I do have a burqua. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:43 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, you made me laugh with your comment, suamico!!!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:50 PM
PrincessMeggy, his company is of the SILLY FOREIGN VARIETY, which as any good Texan knows, could mean any damn yankee or foreigner from nawth of the Red River. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> yankee, eye-talian, they are all the same. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> You is either Texan or you is not! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:51 PM
Hi Bellevue!!

Your post made me laugh, too.

I really appreciate your offer. Can you send it through overnight shipping? There's still time for you to get to the post office if you are in the right time zone!

Really, I do appreciate your offer but I think it would really freak them out if I showed up in a burqua (thanks for helping me with the spelling on that,) since it is not my real religion. It WOULD be absolutely hilarious, though!!!

Like Bill Maher the week before last, with his "Burqua Fashion Show." I don't know if you like or watch him but he is pretty informative & funny. He does overdo it sometimes, though.

I hope that was your real email, I saved it. I'll send you mind if you like. Or I might send it anyway, whether you like it or not!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/05/07 09:52 PM
lol at suamico <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine OWH - 11/05/07 09:55 PM
I just send OWH a link to the video and a brief message along with it.

I really hope he reads it, if he sees it before it disappears. (well, you NEVER know...)

My sister "just happened" to be sick today, also, one of her professors was sick so she only had one class. So she "just happened" to be home when I needed her.

Her Yahoo account is working fine so I asked her to forward the info I needed that I haven't been able to access since Friday night. One was OWH's email. The other was the evidence from the beginning, when I found the confirmation of the A.

BTW, Melody, I sent a message to you with the early discovery info. If you have time you can read it when you get home.

Sooooooooo, Melody, taking any "detours" on the way home today? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: OWH - 11/05/07 10:01 PM
Charlotte, I will check my email when I get home from the office, I can't access it here today. I left her address at home so I can't go by on the way home from work. Maybe tomorrow I will cruise by!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: HR update - 11/05/07 10:05 PM
now that you've saved my email addy, I'm removing it from the thread.

It doesn't matter whether Islam is your religion. When they take over, anybody left alive will be wearing them - or else!

Oh, there are also swimsuits that completely cover Muslim women, available on the internet. Do a search under "burquini." Australian Muslim women are becoming lifeguards, and they wear these clothes to comply with the requirement for modesty.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: OWH - 11/05/07 10:10 PM
Hi Melody,

It's no biggie, tomorrow is just as good as today, thank you!

I'm getting ready to go to IC. I've had to postpone my last two appts. due to Pepper the week before and then seeing a lawyer the week after. My IC knows what I've been up to, though. He is proud of me. That makes me feel good.

BTW-OWH wasn't surprised to hear that H cheated on his first wife. I'm sure he'll tell OW, he tells her everything!
BUT...he did not reveal the source of my evidence. Wheeeee!

I'm also going to call one of H's coworkers when I get back. I happen to know her personally. She helped me out the night H was busted, too.

I wonder if she'll still talk to me? I doubt H has told her anything, but HR might have!

I'll check in when I get back!

Ta!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/05/07 10:11 PM
You're probably spot-on about that, Bellevue!

Burquini! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I just HAVE to check that out later!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: HR update - 11/05/07 10:14 PM
Quote
PrincessMeggy, his company is of the SILLY FOREIGN VARIETY, which as any good Texan knows, could mean any damn yankee or foreigner from nawth of the Red River. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> yankee, eye-talian, they are all the same. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> You is either Texan or you is not! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, I get it. Well then. Alrighty now. Puts things in perspective. They're awful brave pitching their tents in Texas cause everyone knows when you come to Texas you do as the Texans do or get run out of town. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SeekingWife Re: HR update - 11/05/07 11:36 PM
I have a question about this exposing....I thought the point of the exposing was to bust up the affair. You've done that now....why keep on messing with his job when you haven't even asked him to write NC letter or any of that? I am just a little confused on that....Melody?
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:16 AM
SW, it's to make sure the affair STAYS busted up. One of them has to leave the job, which is why HR needs to know about how it was carried on with company resources.
Posted By: womanoffaith5 Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:30 AM
have been reading your thread, and not posting since you are all ready getting such great help
But I do see a huge red flag here, and I feel like I really need to make mention of it.

You should try to limit your contact with OWH at this point. For 2 reasons.
1. You are both very vulnerable right now, and when you talk to each other you will start to feel like he is your kindred spirit. You have both been hurt, and you understand each other like no one else can. See where I am going with this? It is this sort of opening that can lead to an EA. I know what I am talking about here - I started down that path when I used to talk to the OWH in my own situation. He would say things like "Your WH was an idiot to leave you! You are so much nicer than my W" and I would just melt.

2. Again, in my own sitch, I began to feel angry with my WH for what he had done to the OWH and children. I would be on the phone talking to OWH for hours, and he would tell me how he was hurting, and how the kids were hurting. And in time I started to realize that I could forgive my WH for what he did to me. But I didn't know if I could forgive him for what he did to them.

Just my own 2 cents worth.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:32 AM
Quote
I have a question about this exposing....I thought the point of the exposing was to bust up the affair. You've done that now....why keep on messing with his job when you haven't even asked him to write NC letter or any of that? I am just a little confused on that....Melody?

SW, she has ALREADY exposed to the workplace. Now she is just following up to see what they intend to do, and giving them related evidence.

And she has no evidence the affair is over. She only suspects that they haven't been in contact for a few days.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:35 AM
Hi Seeking Wife,

Melody advised that I follow up on my letters with a phone call to HR and H's boss.

I'm just unsure as to how far I need to go with it.

I don't want to go too over-the-top but I want to make darn sure that the affair is DEAD. And dead and dead and dead.

Squashed, splattered, folded, spindled and mutilated, burned, bombed, flattened and scorched...

Pulverized until there's absolutely nothing left. And if there's any residual dust...sink it to the bottom of the deepest part of the ocean.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:37 AM
Quote
You should try to limit your contact with OWH at this point. For 2 reasons.
1. You are both very vulnerable right now, and when you talk to each other you will start to feel like he is your kindred spirit. You have both been hurt, and you understand each other like no one else can. See where I am going with this? It is this sort of opening that can lead to an EA. I know what I am talking about here - I started down that path when I used to talk to the OWH in my own situation. He would say things like "Your WH was an idiot to leave you! You are so much nicer than my W" and I would just melt.

Charlotte, WOF has a good point of caution here. You DO NEED to stay in contact with the OWH in order to touch base and make sure the affair stays killed, but be cautious about your communications with him. You are both VERY vulnerable right now. It is a neccesity to stay in touch for now, but just tread very carefully, this could be dangerous ground.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:43 AM
Thank you for bringing this up, wof5.

I was just thinking about this very thing today. So when I called him I made it short and to the point. My main reason for calling was to make sure he knew about H's A in his first M so it would reach the ears of OW.

And I sent the video in hopes that he would watch it and once he watches it, he will absolutely want her to watch it.

Oh, and when I told OWH about H's other A...he said he wasn't surprised. So I know for sure he'll tell OW.

But thank you for bringing that up. I am making sure to protect myself against anything inappropriate. If he called and wanted to go to lunch and talk I would not be able to do that.

And like you said, he's just as vulnerable as I am right now.

SITTING DUCKS!!!!!! "Quack, quack, quack!"
Posted By: Bellevue Re: HR update - 11/06/07 12:52 AM
seekingwife, let me put it another way:

You set a mousetrap somewhere under the furniture. You hear it snap shut. You think the mouse is dead. But ... what if the trap only caught the tail of the mouse? And the mouse fainted dead away from fright, and made just one little squeaky sound?

And you walk away, satisfied that the mouse got killed. But when you go outside, the mouse regains consciousness, and says to himself "mon dieu! I am trapped in zee mouzetrap! Alas!" But the mouse does not panic.

Instead, he quietly sets about chewing off his own little tail, and scampers away to heal. Once he feels better, he timidly ventures out from his mousehole again, more careful this time.

No reckless eating out of mousetraps of that design ever again for him, non m'sieur. A sadder mouse by wiser now, allez oop!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 01:06 AM
Would that mouse's name be Mr. Jingles, Bellevue?

Great analogy!
Posted By: suamico Re: HR update - 11/06/07 02:18 AM
Quote
Would that mouse's name be Mr. Jingles, Bellevue?

Great analogy!

Sweetie, I was thinking about you today. I am SO proud of you! I don't know if I would be able to handle things that are coming your way like you do. I hope I NEVER have to but if it ever happens, I know where to go and who to talk to!
Posted By: schoolbus Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:00 AM
Just a note:

I'm checking on BestAdvisor.

There's something there that reminds me of someone else.

Haven't identified it yet. Smells of sweet? Or passion. Same thing - really - those two are the same. I wonder if BA is the same?

I'm checking and watching BA.

Sooner or later, BA will slip up and show her(him)self. There's something there, though, reminiscent of another, earlier persona.

We'll see.

SB
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:04 AM
agree, SB, she smells like some other recent trolls we have had around here. She smells blood over on sexymamabears thread and is over there tonight.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:12 AM
Quote
BestAdvisor1,

This is a MarriageBUILDERS forum!!!

Please familiarize yourself with the MarriageBuilders concepts & principles!

JustUss

Edited by Justuss (11/05/07 09:11 AM)

just want to make sure Bumadvisor saw this admonishment the MOD added to her post on this thread today.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:18 AM
Thank you, suamico!

(((suamico)))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:20 AM
Thanks for posting this, Melody. I couldn't find it earlier.
Posted By: schoolbus Re: HR update - 11/06/07 03:27 AM
I've looked at MM. Not enough similarity there. I don't think they are the same person.

SB
Posted By: Bellevue Re: HR update - 11/06/07 06:43 AM
Yes, Mr. Jingles! I'm re-reading The Green Mile, and that little mouse just won't leave my head.

Too bad my french accent stinks so bad.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 06:51 AM
Hey, Bellevue!

I'm so glad to see a friendly face! I was just going through some evidence. I didn't want to but I want to highlight anything connected to H's office where the A took place most of the time. I've found more references than I thought were there but I had skipped a lot of stuff because it was too painful to look at. No problem now. Mouse on a mission here. (except THIS mouse is the size of Godzilla!)

I re-read the Green Mile not too long ago because the movie had been on and we watched it again. So then I had to read it again. It's so moving.

Have you ever read "Blaze?" Man oh man, that is THE best Bachman book! I'm so glad he pulled it out and reworked it!!
That book stayed with me for WEEKS after I read it.

Oh, and you're accent is just fine. Much better than OW's, she was trying to teach H to speak French. (dam little French-fried floozy! sorry, but I had to let one out! I didn't get TOO rough on her. I had something much stronger in mind but it would be edited to the point of ******* ****** ******** ****** ******* ******** ******* ****** ********* ****** **** * * * * ****** ** * * ** ***** there.I feel better now.)
Posted By: RIF Re: HR update - 11/06/07 07:03 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I've been out this morning, but will read through your thread to see what I've missed...

You're doing great!!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 07:08 AM
Hi RIF!

Good to see ya'! Thanks for checking in!

I'm getting some ammunition ready for an all-out ground assault tomorrow.

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: HR update - 11/06/07 07:20 AM
Don't you ever sleep Charlotte?

LOL
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 07:52 AM
Ducks never sleep.

Sure, I sleep once in a while. I slept more last night so now I'm still up.

re: ducks. I don't know how familiar you are with their habits, but our ducks almost never sleep. They are up during the day and they are up at night. They take little catnaps during the day so they can always be on guard. One will stand sentinel so the others can take a cat nap.

It's SO funny! But they are nice to have around because of their habits. If the dogs don't notice anything unusual, you can always count on the ducks to pick up the slack if someone tries to sneak into your yard.

It helps to have duck hens, though because their voices are very LOUD while the drake's voices are low and watery.

Okay, enough about ducks!

BTW: LOL when I saw your post! Now I'll be up even longer!
Posted By: RIF Re: HR update - 11/06/07 07:57 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I've heard that geese are even better than ducks... Glad you're doing so well.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: HR update - 11/06/07 08:02 AM
Thanks RIF!

Yes, geese are. My grandparents used to have some a few years ago...well, that was probably in the 80's when they had the geese. LOUD! And mean, too, just like the ducks the geese would come after you and try to take a bite out of your legs!

It hurts, too...those strong little bills can pinch HARD!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine evidence - 11/06/07 08:12 AM
Okay, I read the whole hog of the evidence of the infidels. Apparently they were going to Atlanta. This may or may not be true but I remember her talking to H about buying the tickets to something, so it must have been plane tickets.

Why didn't they just rent a local hotel so they could rut for four days?

Oh, I guess rutting in a scenic locale is more fun. Even if you don't leave the room.

BTW: We're going to have to change the name of that ballet, Bellevue. Now it's going to be, "The Rutcracker Sheet-Dance of the Infidels"
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: evidence - 11/06/07 01:18 PM
Quote
BTW: We're going to have to change the name of that ballet, Bellevue. Now it's going to be, "The Rutcracker Sheet-Dance of the Infidels"


Charlotte.....you are soooooo hilarious. I'm the resident movie maker (silent/invisible) over on the Idiotville fun thread and that's a great new title for me.

If ya need a vacation from all this drama, you're welcome to pop on over to the 20-90 Something Recovery Vacation thread. Anyone needing a 'time-out' is welcome to post there. RIF is our night watchman and we just shoot the non-A breeze all day (and night) long......makes for a great break and is good for a refreshing laugh now and then. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

A brief caution: Triggers are nasty and once they are ingrained, they are very difficult to overcome. I know you need to know what's possibly happening and reading all this stuff is part of your process.....but be careful in figuring out what you need to know and what you may NOT want to know. Some of the details may be best saved for later....or never, depending on your processing abilities. JMHO.

I saw how you were helping Mitzie with what you knew about and then sat back to watch how others helped her in other aspects. This is very wise and will also help in your personal recovery regardless how long it takes your WH to defog.

Keep it up....Oh......I did ask a question for you on the Enabling thread; when you get a chance, please check it out.

Thanks,
Ace
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Good Morning, Ace! - 11/06/07 02:57 PM
Thank you!

I definitely need to go check that thread out.

Thank you for your encouragement for when I tried to help Mitzie. As you mentioned, I did not want to overstep so I help her when I could.

I remember all too well needing answers "like...yesterday!" when I had questions. Since it was late and there weren't many to help her I had to do what I could.

I'll go check the Enabling thread out soon.

Have a great day!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Good Morning, Ace! - 11/06/07 03:15 PM
"The Rutcracker" - ha ha! Coming this Christmas.

Charlotte, you bring brightness to our board. Already you are giving back; you're a quick study.

I regret I didn't have the guts to expose when it could have done some good. Following your progress lately has been so good for me.

It's like we're on the bell curve - me at one end with the timid ones who couldn't get past their shame at being cheated on. You and many others who risked the embarrassment and followed the Plans, some before they even knew about the Harleys.

I figure I have a role, a warning role, real life example of what to expect from hiding from shame of what your cheating spouse is doing. "the ghost of christmas future".

I look forward to opening night of the Rutcracker near me.

About mitzie - you didn't want to overstep. You are cautious yet compassionate. How refreshing, in contrast to trolls with their own agenda. You are among the posters who give back. I also try, as mentioned above.

Sometimes I just pull away when a poster is suffering so much through their own timidity. It hits too close to home. I'd rather witness and support bravery, even if the poster fails, they know they gave it everything. You're doing the right thing for your marriage.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Bellevue - 11/06/07 05:09 PM
You get front row seats!

Thank you for all of your kind words and encouagement. They are a soothing balm to me. I am a little upset right now because I just finished talking to H's XW. I am changing the locks today. I need to anyway because the door is in such sad shape, but now I feel I need to protect myself even more until the TRO is in place. More on convo w/XW later.

I'm still absorbing and filing things away...(remember Jonesy's warehouse in Dreamcatcher? Boy this is growing into one doozy of a file! I can't let Mr. Gray in, he might find it.)

I can't even call HR again right now. I'm going to have to wait until after lunch.

My husband is SO messed up! I really hope that this reality check will help him turn things around. I'm still committed to saving our marriage but even if we don't make it I want him to be as healthy as possible.

I know I will be.
Posted By: suamico Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 05:23 PM
Quote
I am a little upset right now because I just finished talking to H's XW.

What did H's XW tell you that has gotten you so upset? Did you call her or did she call you?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 07:15 PM
Jonesy's Warehouse - I'll have to dig Dreamcatcher up again.

Just love Stephen King. Found Dolores Claiborn in storage locker. I hope to empty that thing out by participating in Freecycle. A mom nearby requested old videos - so I retrieved them from Bellevue's Warehouse. I don't like paying so much for space for my junk. I hope to pass these on to that young mother soon.

Dolores Claiborne was in the box with the vids.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 07:22 PM
i fprgpt what was dolores claiborn about I think i saw it but my brain is mush right now.....
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 11:07 PM
hello mushbrain, here's a synopsis:

Abused mother of 3 offs her husband with the help of a lunar eclipse after learning that he has stolen her life's savings and molested their daughter.

As usual, with Stephen King's stories, lots of supernatural mystery and scarey moments.

Being somewhat mushbrained myself, I re-read these books after putting them away for a year or more. It's like having a whole new book!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 11:23 PM
ohhhh yeah....I remember now didn't she off him by well or something?
Posted By: suamico Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 11:27 PM
Quote
hello mushbrain, here's a synopsis:

Abused mother of 3 offs her husband with the help of a lunar eclipse after learning that he has stolen her life's savings and molested their daughter.

As usual, with Stephen King's stories, lots of supernatural mystery and scarey moments.

Being somewhat mushbrained myself, I re-read these books after putting them away for a year or more. It's like having a whole new book!
I have never read a stephen king novel because....well I am a big fat fraidy cat! I know Kathy Bates is in the movie. She is my favorite actress. I would entertain seeing the movie just because of her (as long as I can cover my eyes at the scary parts.) I did see misery (where she is obsessed with her favorite author) The scene where she breaks his legs still plays in my mind! She is such a good actress. My favorite KB movie is fried green tomatoes, now that is more my speed.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 11:35 PM
suamico, there are 2 Kings I cannot read:

Cujo - I can't bear to read this or watch the movie. I have a son.

Misery - I refuse to watch this movie.

Other than that, I'm addicted to King.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Bellevue - 11/06/07 11:37 PM
how do you think the new king movie "the mist" is going to do?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Dolores Claiborne - 11/06/07 11:38 PM
Oh suamico! You NEED to read the novel. And Misery also.

They left SO much out of the movie that they shouldn't have. They could have gotten the stuff in that I feel was crucial to the story.

Dolores & her employer Vera had some similarities that were never addressed in the movie. I don't want to reveal to much but I was pretty po'ed when they weren't in the movie.

Read it as soon as you can!

I'll be in with a report soon re: H's XW. Since I posted on this thread last, I have spoken to HR to follow up on last weeks letter and they will have an envelope of evidence about 1" thick that will show up at the corporate office tomorrow.

More to follow later...(details at 11 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)
Posted By: suamico Re: Bellevue - 11/07/07 12:12 AM
Quote
Cujo

What was that? Oh yes my SKIN CRAWLING! Isn't that one about some evil dog? I am telling you I am a fraidy cat, I have not seen most horror movies because of nightmares!
Posted By: suamico Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 12:18 AM
Quote
Oh suamico! You NEED to read the novel. And Misery also.

Ummmm.... oh no I don't! Things "stick" in my head and give me nightmares. I have to "watch" what I watch and read. I can't even watch saving private Ryan because of the gore. For pete sake one of my favorite moves is jagged edge and I STILL jump when he knocks out the glass in the door.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 12:34 AM
I'm with you suamico-I have to be careful about what I watch or read because I dream it later. But I love suspense.

Charlotee22-the first Stephen King I read was "The Shining" It was the scariest book I'd ever read. I had no idea about King's writing at the time so I figured I'd find out what all the fuss was over his books. I did read a few more, but I had to quit after "It". I can handle his short stories most of the time but "Boogie Man" made me close my closet doors every night.

One of his books, The Danse Macabre, is really different. It's kind of his history of horror as a genre of fiction. His sense of humor is great.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 12:39 AM
I agree johnstwin, he does have a great since of humor.

Dolores Claiborne is really tame compared to the Shining, 'Salem's Lot, and others. (IT!!)

Have you guys read Rita Hayworth & the Shawshank Redemption? The Green Mile? The Body?>> (which was made into the movie Stand By Me)...Eyes of the Dragon? Blaze? (best Bachman book ever!!)

Rose Madder! There ya' go! Vive ze bool!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 12:43 AM
BTW-the eclipse in Dolores Claiborne was connected to an event which occurred in Gerald's Game. They didn't cover that in the movie.

You'd love Gerald's Game. Try to sleep after that one! Actually getting to sleep isn't bad, it's waking up and looking in corners and THEN not being able to go back to sleep. Thanks to the Space Cowboy. I don't read G.G. very often.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 02:01 AM
Quote
I can handle his short stories most of the time but "Boogie Man" made me close my closet doors every night.

Crawset! <EEK> I read that one almost a quarter century ago and I still get freaked out by closet doors if they're ajar.
Posted By: believer Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 02:13 AM
Well, this is too long ago for you young'uns, but I read Salems Lotback before you were born. And it was FREAKY SCAREY. I was petrified for months. One night I went out in the dark barn to feed the goat, heard something, and screamed so loud the neighbors came running. And I promise you will be afraid to look at your windows at night - someone might be looking in.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 11/07/07 02:17 AM
I will try not to make this too long but you know how I am. I talked to H's XW today & I was laid out for awhile so I could absorb everything and put it in the warehouse so Mr. Gray cannot find it.

From what she told me regarding when he left (Melody & I discussed this) and took all of the money and left her and the kids with nothing it looks 99.9% like it it was an A. Aw heck, you might as well make that 100%!!!!

She was really nice and told me that she felt bad for me because he was doing this to me. She remembers going through that pain and would never wish it on anyone. (I was like, that's what I'M screamin') I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

We talked for a really long time and she said if I needed anyone to talk to to please give her a call so we could talk some more.

We talked about H's estrangement from DD20 & how when XW told her what he was doing to me & the family she got even angrier with him. Plus, DD said, "Who in the world would want him?"

I teared up when she was telling me about how much DD has gone through when trying to connect with her dad. DD connected with everyone here in my family and they all love her. We haven't seen her much over the years because she didn't see the point in coming here because her dad never paid attention to her.

I hope someday she can have a relationship with him. My relationship with my dad wasn't repaired until after H & I were married. And it was a few years after we were married, too. I don't remember how many. So I have hope that someday they will connect...I was in that same place she is now with my dad for a long time.

I called HR again to follow up on last week's letter. Head of HR wasn't there and when I told them my name they put me through to next in line.

I told him I was following up on last week's letter and started talking about the A occurring on the office premisis. At one point I said, "and the night he was arrested..." and he said "What?!" So I told him about H's arrest and that H had told that he told his Supe about the arrest, etc. I told him I had talked to another CW that night & that I knew that H & OW had been doing their "thang" at work that night before the arrest. So the other CW can corroborate this. I know she remembers H's arrest and my phone calls to her.

The more I talked, the more questions he asked.

I told him that H has a problem with prescrip drugs...an addiction. I told him that it's gotten worse lately and that he orders these drugs off of the internet and frequently has the orders sent to the office. I told him I wanted my H to get into some sort of rehab program because I was really starting to worry about H's life.

I told him about their trip and the things that were talked about in the evidence and he wanted me to send it. I sent it overnight express.

I felt good because apparently the letter I sent wasn't swept under the rug. They are paying attention. I imagine they will pay more attention now. And there are plenty of other ways to corroborate my story if they haven't already used them. Employees must check in at guard's desk with signature when they come in, plus they have the key badges that open the door.

So they have plenty of things H can't get to and erase if they need any additional proof.

I felt so good after I talked to him that I was hungry for the first time today. After I talked to XW I was ready to change the locks. I will still be changing the locks. Mr. Gray can come over when I'm here if he needs anything. The door is messed up anyway & barely closes & locks. I have a booby trap set up in the event that someone tries to break in. (not a Rambo booby trap but one that will give very good warning.)
Posted By: Dobie Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 02:19 AM
I started reading his stuff when I was 10. I started with Salem's Lot. Bad idea, but I was hooked.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 02:21 AM
I hear THAT Dobie!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Dolores Claiborne - 11/07/07 02:26 AM
The Shining is my FAVORITE! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Bellevue - 11/07/07 02:33 AM
Quote
Being somewhat mushbrained myself, I re-read these books after putting them away for a year or more. It's like having a whole new book!

OMG!! I thought I was the only person that did that. I never throw a book away. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Bellevue - 11/07/07 02:40 AM
Well, Miss Charlotte, they may FIRE him. Now that they know about the addiction issues, and the arrest, they may use the affair as an excuse to cut their losses.

Hopefully this will make him hit bottom.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 11/07/07 02:43 AM
Wow Charlotte, the stuff just keeps getting deeper and deeper. I don't think I've seen anyone on here do such a detailed exposure (but I've only been here for a little while). I'm impressed. YAY for you!

EX was a good source, too bad you didn't know all of his before you married him. That's just more stuff he's going to need to deal with eventually. I'm wondering if his past is catching up to him (thus the drug abuse and acting out). Could be God's working here to get WH's attention.

Good job.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 11/07/07 02:53 AM
Thank you believer & princess meggy! I really WANT him to get help. He will understand this someday. After he comes out of the fog.

I have great hopes that he will.

He's not inherently evil but just a person who has made some poor choices in life.

If they fire him, so be it. He is going to die if he doesn't get some help.

I'm doing the best I can right now for him. And for us. And for the family.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Books - 11/07/07 02:55 AM
Quote
OMG!! I thought I was the only person that did that. I never throw a book away.

Me either!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine XW - 11/07/07 03:31 AM
I just remembered something. While I was talking to H's XW, she told me that years ago she'd had a dream in which we met and were in a park somewhere talking like friends.

I just gotta say, "WOW!"
Posted By: Bellevue Re: XW - 11/07/07 03:45 AM
Dangit, so many of us with the same secret vice - Stephen King stories.

Charlotte, the dream? Sometimes time isn't a straight line. Sometimes it's a loop.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: XW - 11/07/07 03:47 AM
Good point, Bellevue.

Hey, I think it's neat that there are so many King fans around here!!

Have you read Lisey's Story?
Posted By: johnstwin Re: XW - 11/07/07 05:31 AM
I warned my OS when he was about 13 to not read Pet Cemetery
when we were going to be camping where it was REALLY DARK at night. He ended sleeping in the trailer,sharing a cramped spot with his little brother rather than out with the trees making noises as the wind blew through them.

He never doubted me after that (about scary books that is) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

PS His sister didn't even notice. She had finished The Stand earlier that summer.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine johnstwin - 11/07/07 05:38 AM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I know how your oldest son must have felt. Except to scare me while camping all you have to do is start talking about Bigfoot.

I won't sleep for hours. I still remember the Legend of Boggy Creek. I have an irrational fear of Bigfoot.

THE STAND!!! Absolutely my most favorite King novel. I used to read it every year around the time Charles Campion hit the gas pumps in Arnette.

I had slacked off on the yearly Stand reading but I did read it this year again finally.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 05:50 AM
I LIVE in Bigfoot country!

Did you ever see Harry and the Hendersons? My twin brother lives right down the road from where they filmed the forest scenes.

Apparently Bigfoot is a vegetarian.

My uncle was the master story teller around the campfire. One time he had just gotten to the creepiest part of the story when coyotes started howling. No movie has ever made me jump that high!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 05:59 AM
Oy!

It would be very easy for you to scare the crap out of me if I was your houseguest.

I like that story about your uncle.

I scared the daylights out of my mom, sister and sis' friend one night when they watched Fire in the Sky. Set a good booby trap for 'em. I just wish I had caught their reaction on camera!

I'm betting they jumped just as high as you did.

Speaking of aliens yet again, did you see Signs? That movie scared me really good. For three weeks I was scared to go outside and night and if I had to go to the barn I was terrified "they" might be around. Any little noise in the bushes and I was off like a roadrunner.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 06:00 AM
Do you live anywhere close to Ann Rule?
Posted By: johnstwin Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 06:19 AM
I think my Jack Russell Idgie would take on Bigfoot if he dared to come in our yard. She seems to think she can take on any other larger creature that has fur, including my son-in-law who has a rather unfortunately scruffy beard right now. Hopefully it will fill in and Idgie won't think she is taking on a Yeti any more.

I do live sort of close to Ann Rule. I think Ann still lives in Seattle (or near it) and I live about 60 miles north of Seattle now but I grew up very near the city and went to college there. I've read several of her books. The best and creepiest was The Stranger Beside Me about Ted Bundy. I never could read Small Sacrifices because I had a child by the time it came out. I just couldn't imagine a mother being able to do that.

Signs and other movies like those are the type of suspense movies that I love to watch. Hitchcock movies are some of my all time favorites.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 02:13 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Jack Russell terrier vs. Bigfoot <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Small Sacrifices was one of the most disturbing cases I've ever read about. You know, all of our lives we go around with rose colored glasses re: the mother/child relationship and that a mother would never intentionally harm her children...that a mother would ALWAYS protect her children, mama bear, etc. Pick your analogy.

Then we learn about sociopaths. We still try to believe in the sacred mother/child bond. Then we have people hear about cases like Small Sacrifices where a mother harms and/or kills her children.

Even after knowing this I still didn't want to believe my XSIL would harm her children. I quickly learned that she was one of "THEM."

Interestingly, she used to refer to herself as "the polar bear mother." The irony kills me.

Now my nieces are safely in the custody of my brother. That was a long, hard road and a very difficult experience. Dealing with it helped prepare me for H's A, though. I'm sure of it now.

I'm hoping Ann Rule writes the story of Trenton Duckett. You may recall hearing about this last year. It was in Florida. Melinda Duckett make her son disappear. She tried to blame her X. People all over the place were looking for this little boy. I was on the CourtTV boards a lot during that time and a lot of us forwarded this information to everyone we knew in hopes that she gave him away.

Sadly, I think she killed him. I thought so at first but help out that slim hope (rose colored glasses again.)

Anyway, less than two weeks later Melinda blew her head off with a shotgun while at her grandparent's home. The walls were closing in on her.

A lot of people blamed Nancy Grace for Melinda's suicide but after learning so much about Melinda, I believe that was her plan all along. She did not want to go to jail but more importantly, she did not want her X to have his son. And she would have done anything to prevent that from happening.

Well, she succeeded.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine evidence - 11/07/07 03:22 PM
I just check the USPS website. The evidence folder arrived at the corporate office at 6:56 a.m.
Posted By: Dobie Re: evidence - 11/07/07 04:10 PM
Great. What's your status on changing the locks?
Posted By: SIHW Re: johnstwin - 11/07/07 04:51 PM
Quote
Speaking of aliens yet again, did you see Signs? That movie scared me really good. For three weeks I was scared to go outside and night and if I had to go to the barn I was terrified "they" might be around. Any little noise in the bushes and I was off like a roadrunner.

Because of that movie to this day i will NOT go near a corn field.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: evidence - 11/07/07 05:02 PM
I'm working on that right now. I had a slight glitch so I'm letting my wrists take a break, except for typing, so I can work with the screwdriver again.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Cornfields... - 11/07/07 05:07 PM
Quote
Because of that movie to this day i will NOT go near a corn field.



<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: Cornfields... - 11/07/07 05:21 PM
Quote
I still remember the Legend of Boggy Creek. I have an irrational fear of Bigfoot.


TOO FUNNY!! So does my mom!

Anne Rule has always been one of my favorites. I don't like scary movies because I'm a real chicken, but I LOVE true crime novels.

I then have to balance it out with romance novels. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Fox
Posted By: stillhurting01 Re: Cornfields... - 11/07/07 05:29 PM
Wild,

I love true crime novels also.... used to make WH nervous. Now I know why <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Still
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H's office - 11/07/07 09:27 PM
Sooooo,

Anyone like to venture a guess as to what might be going on where H works?

I talked to Melody a little while about this.

I don't see how this can possibly be swept under the rug, especially in light of recent revelations.

Sex on the premisis
Heavy drug use
Use of company tools-phone, pc's, etc. to further the A
H's arrest due to drug use

And this is a place that doesn't allow pork or pork products on the premisis.

I guess I'm just getting a little paranoid.

Any thoughts?

Oh, yeah, finally got that deadbolt installed. I had to go buy another one. The new one works just fine.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H sent an email - 11/07/07 10:38 PM
Well, just got a short email from H. He needs the system restore disks for his laptop.

I wrote a short message back to just call me before coming out.

Why the heck would he need to drive out for those? Sounds fishy to me.

Now I'm nervous.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H called - 11/07/07 11:03 PM
He was trying to figure out what day was best to come home for the disks so he can get the pics I wanted that are on his laptop.

We talked a bit about computers and he thought Thurs. or Fri. would be good but probably Thursday. I said, yes, Thursday would be better, that is my day off.

H didn't know what today was. I guess he forgot. I asked if he' called the house number and he said yes so I told him I had the phone forwarded to my cell.

I guess he's wondering why. Hmmmmm....who might be calling little Charlotte?

I didn't tell him about the locks.

It was very calm & he rambled on a bit about this-n-that. No mention of M, D, or the A.

There's possibility he might get served tomorrow. Lawyer said Thurs. or Fri. were high probability days so we'll see what happens.

I'm still nervous, though!
Posted By: cathys01 Re: H sent an email - 11/07/07 11:04 PM
He wants to completely wipe out the hard drive and start over. Was it a company laptop? There's no other reason to need the restore disks...

He's probably realized that your evidence came from that laptop...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H sent an email - 11/07/07 11:17 PM
That's a good possibility, cathys01. But his laptop at home has been acting up for a while now, it's pretty old and the A was killing it, too. He had loaded tons of mp3's on there and had as many external drives as the thing could run attached to it also.

So I'm thinking it's probably both reasons.

I had a lot of trouble with it myself when before he showed back up on Sunday. It won't boot up properly. I had to go into safe mode to look around and see if he had anything else hidden on there.

So I know he's not lying about it being messed up.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: H sent an email - 11/07/07 11:28 PM
As long as you've already retrieved everything you need off of it, then no problem! Make sure you keep your evidence in a safe place where he can't get to it (not on another computer on the same home network where he can erase it, either).

P.S. I'm in Houston too...looks like there are a bunch of us down around these parts!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H sent an email - 11/07/07 11:59 PM
10-4 on that, cathys01,

I got it all!

Not only is the evidence in a safe place but it's also in two different email accounts and my sister has copies of it in Louisiana.

Now I need more printer ink!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine The Equine Report - 11/08/07 12:06 AM
Pepper stepped on a chicken today. I put her back out to pasture with Lindy.

She goes back to the vet next Thursday. I still can't find her other temporary shoe.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H sent an email - 11/08/07 12:46 AM
Quote
As long as you've already retrieved everything you need off of it, then no problem! Make sure you keep your evidence in a safe place where he can't get to it (not on another computer on the same home network where he can erase it, either).

P.S. I'm in Houston too...looks like there are a bunch of us down around these parts!

wow! another Texan! That makes 4 of us, at least, that are in the Houston area.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Texans - 11/08/07 01:39 AM
That's right, I was going to mention that in the above post and I forgot.

Yaaaay Texans!

All the Texas Power is keeping me going. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: The Equine Report - 11/08/07 01:47 AM
Quote
Pepper stepped on a chicken today. I put her back out to pasture with Lindy.


Poor chicken. So how is he? Is the chicken o.k. or did you have him for dinner? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: The Equine Report - 11/08/07 02:02 AM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

The chicken is okay, believe or not. (Remember that commercial a few years ago when a cow stepped on a chicken? The commercial ran for a least a little while before they pulled it.)

We decided to have a rooster. I hung him on the line so all of the blood could drain out so we could have rooster and dumplings.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H - 11/08/07 03:28 AM
Had a little "missing H" moment when I had to go to the store earlier.

I hope he misses me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/08/07 03:49 AM
Great. Now I guess I'll be thinking about him all night. Must mean he's thinking about me. I've been doing pretty good with that so far.

This is good and not so good if he does indeed show up tomorrow. I MUST BE SPOCK!!!!

I think I'm gonna have to watch some Star Trek. Get back into Spock mode...

AND keep myself away from that Romulan Ale.
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/08/07 05:28 AM
Look at you - posting like an old pro............
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H Dream - 11/08/07 03:33 PM
Okay, I had the strangest dream.

I was at home with H and I woke up in a strange place. There were a lot of shady characters around. H had given me the date rape drug to knock me out so he could carry me out of the house.

We were somewhere in Mexico. They were planning a bank robbery. At one point the head thug said to me, "I guess you want to be cut in, too. I'm going to tell you what you need to do."

The OW was there, too, but she was in her own car and she wasn't H's OW, but the OW of an old boyfriend I was with 2 or 3 years before I met H.

At one point she was sitting on his lap and I walked over to him and said, "Do you mind? We ARE married, you know. Why did you bring me along, anyway?"

At another point in the dream, we were having a picnic and our family was sitting at a really long table. H was at a table with the thugs and the OW was there, I think she was sitting in his lap at this point in the dream, too. We were back in our town then. In the dream we warped from Mexico back to our town.

Then we were in a hotel in a bar with the head thug. He ordered giant Bloody Marys for us to drink. Then he got up to go somewhere and H walked off somewhere with OW. I think they went to one of the hotel rooms.

Then we warped to San Antonio. I was terrified and H was so far gone it was scary. I still didn't understand why he'd drugged me and brought me along.

I managed to get away from the thugs and H and I called my mom. I said, "Mommy, I'm scared! I don't know what to do! I'm in San Antonio & H is going to get in big trouble with the law! What do I do, Mommy?" And I was crying, too.

Wow, I don't remember the last time I called mom "Mommy."

Anyway, that's about where it ended. Thank goodness.

Today I'm going to call H's doctor and talk to him about H's addiction. Maybe at least then there will be one less place for him to get his drugs and his doctor can talk to him and try to help him somehow. His doctor called our home last week looking for H. H said he'd given him some Red Sox memorabilia. He sounds like such a nice man. I was going to switch doctors and see him before but I never did. Now I wish I had but I'm still going to call him and try to help H.
Posted By: RIF Re: Texans - 11/08/07 03:40 PM
Quote
Yaaaay Texans!


Hey Charlotte! Wow, you sound so confident!!! Good for you!

I'm a Cowboys fan now that my taxes are helping to pay for their new stadium! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Texans - 11/08/07 03:59 PM
Hey RIF!! Thank you!

How are you today?

Yep, you have no choice but to be a Texans fan thanks to those large tax bills! They should send out coupons for the concession stands with those tax bills!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Texans - 11/08/07 04:41 PM
Hey Charlotte!

Actually, I'm about 5 hours north of you... where the OTHER team in TX plays... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Texans - 11/08/07 04:44 PM
Oh, yes! Gotcha! That would be the team that was my dear uncle's favorite. He has passed from this world tragically at a young age.

Oh yeah, and Hank Hill loves that team as well, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Texans - 11/08/07 04:57 PM
Quote
Oh yeah, and Hank Hill loves that team as well, eh?


Exactly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'll be on the night-shift tomorrow if you can't sleep...

You're doing great!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: SIHW Re: Texans - 11/08/07 05:10 PM
Quote
Quote
Oh yeah, and Hank Hill loves that team as well, eh?


Exactly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'll be on the night-shift tomorrow if you can't sleep...

You're doing great!

Semper Fi,

RIF

I want to be on the night shift but I need internet at night first. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Texans - 11/08/07 05:47 PM
Thanks, RIF!

I had some small bumps since exposure but everyone here as well as my family has been helping me hold up really well.

Thank you all, you great people!!
Posted By: suamico Re: H Dream - 11/08/07 06:05 PM
Quote
Okay, I had the strangest dream.

I was at home with H and I woke up in a strange place. There were a lot of shady characters around. H had given me the date rape drug to knock me out so he could carry me out of the house.

We were somewhere in Mexico. They were planning a bank robbery. At one point the head thug said to me, "I guess you want to be cut in, too. I'm going to tell you what you need to do."

The OW was there, too, but she was in her own car and she wasn't H's OW, but the OW of an old boyfriend I was with 2 or 3 years before I met H.

At one point she was sitting on his lap and I walked over to him and said, "Do you mind? We ARE married, you know. Why did you bring me along, anyway?"

At another point in the dream, we were having a picnic and our family was sitting at a really long table. H was at a table with the thugs and the OW was there, I think she was sitting in his lap at this point in the dream, too. We were back in our town then. In the dream we warped from Mexico back to our town.

Then we were in a hotel in a bar with the head thug. He ordered giant Bloody Marys for us to drink. Then he got up to go somewhere and H walked off somewhere with OW. I think they went to one of the hotel rooms.

Then we warped to San Antonio. I was terrified and H was so far gone it was scary. I still didn't understand why he'd drugged me and brought me along.

I managed to get away from the thugs and H and I called my mom. I said, "Mommy, I'm scared! I don't know what to do! I'm in San Antonio & H is going to get in big trouble with the law! What do I do, Mommy?" And I was crying, too.

Wow, I don't remember the last time I called mom "Mommy."

Anyway, that's about where it ended. Thank goodness.

Today I'm going to call H's doctor and talk to him about H's addiction. Maybe at least then there will be one less place for him to get his drugs and his doctor can talk to him and try to help him somehow. His doctor called our home last week looking for H. H said he'd given him some Red Sox memorabilia. He sounds like such a nice man. I was going to switch doctors and see him before but I never did. Now I wish I had but I'm still going to call him and try to help H.

I am no dream analyzer but the thugs are the DRUGS (OW and drugs) OW is in his lap (IE in his life getting his attention) They have invaided your family and you don't feel you have control over getting them out. Mexico is a foreign country and you were put there without your consent.
Posted By: Longhorn Re: Texans - 11/08/07 06:14 PM
Pardon my intrusion but I don't have a clue why anyone would have a dream where the dreamer thinks itā€™s ā€œscaryā€ to be in San Antonio. There are nearly 2 million of us who live in this area all the time...and weā€™re not scared one little bit. LOL

But I do have to admit that's a Texas-sized dream, Charlotte. Write it up, copyright it, and send it in to HBO to see if theyā€™ll make a miniseries out of it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Charlotte, you went into some detail about a dream you had that (a) you recalled very clearly when you woke and (b) really bothered you. The two, put together, raise some flags for me. Lady, would you mind a few thoughts about dream interpretation, as slippery a thing as that is? I don't think there's anything too deadly serious in your dream but there might be something right at the end. Okay?

If you're still reading this disorganized mess, hereā€™s what I see in your dream, Charlotte. Please disregard anything/everything you think is nonsense. But you know that already, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The ā€œbank robberyā€ in your dream tells me your sub-conscious might still be concerned about the difficulties you had at the end of last month getting to the bank to get money before your WH could drain the account. Are there some lingering aspects relating to the bank account you might not have covered entirely, or anything you can think of in that area?

The picnic and family being present with the OW (other women) is your sub-conscious trying to fit all the characters in your life into a coherent group, no matter how dysfunctional a bunch they are.

The OW being present is interesting. Notice your dream had OW somewhat detached at one point (in her own car). The car signifies mobility? Sheā€™s going, but not gone? Or...they eventually all DO go away, but thereā€™s one still hanging around, albeit just barely?

That there is an OW from a past relationship in your dream could be your subconscious making a protest against all those unscrupulous ā€œother womenā€ repeatedly showing up in your life, couldnā€™t it? When you protest the OW being on WHā€™s lap, your subconscious is rebelling against the influence any OW has on the man in your life?

The idea of ā€œ...why did you bring me along...ā€ which your dream expressed in a number of instances, along with the ā€œdrugā€ sequence, seem tied together to me. Could they be an expression of your distress at not really being in control of your own destiny during this period? Your subconscious may interpret this as being powerless (as in drugged), right? "Mexico" seems to be an expression of being separated from the good, familiar, comfortable life you used to know and swept up in things you can't control.

You know, if you think about it in this context, you actually have been put into a situation where you are constantly reacting to events instead of being proactive as I interpret your personality prefers to be. You haven't had a vote in any of this...you've been dragged along whether you want to come or not. Seems to me youā€™re uncomfortable not being the captain of your own fate.

I think the drugs (and the thugs) may also be a reference to the your WHā€™s drug use and his arrest. The thugs could be either the people WH is ā€œassociatingā€ with in jail or the mysterious suppliers at the other end of the online ordering chain. Either interpretation, or actually both (if youā€™re buying any of this), could be what your subconscious is dealing with. Do the thugs have the ā€œflavorā€ in your dream of being big, mean, and violentā€¦or distant and unreachable?

Do Bloody Maries (is that the correct plural version?) have any significance to you from events in your life? If youā€™ve had a bad experience associated with them of some kind? Perhaps itā€™s a re-emergence in the dream of the drugs being forced into your life (made to drink them?)...or not.

Finally, the thugs, OWs, and WH all walk away, leaving you to deal with the aftermath. In your sleeping mind, youā€™re lost and alone, and donā€™t know what to do next. Your subconscious sees WH as being ā€œso far gone, it was scary.ā€ Think about the ending of your dream: ā€œMommy, Iā€™m alone...Iā€™m scared...I donā€™t know what to do...what do I do, Mommy?ā€ Not much interpretation needed there, is there? Your subconscious mind is concerned for your wellbeing. Not to worry. Weā€™re here to be your support group. Tell your subconscious mind I said so and to leave you alone from now on, okay?

I still donā€™t understand the significance of being in San Antonio though. Did you have a bad experience here once or is there something in your past that associates San Antone with being lost...detached...vulnerable...anything like that?

My feelings are that a personā€™s subconscious isnā€™t an adult in any sense of the word. It never matures. Itā€™s always a child overwhelmed by uncertainty. Itā€™s a primitive, purely emotional, side of your mind that doesnā€™t reason in a linear fashion. I suspect the ā€œlost and aloneā€ portion of your dream is simply an expression that you canā€™t see where all this is going and it IS a little scary, isnā€™t it...even for a Texan.

If youā€™re buying any of this, Charlotte, I wouldnā€™t worry about it. Itā€™s just your mind playing games and mulling things over in a thoroughly irrational way. After all, it has to do something after itā€™s taken care of all the maintenance functions it does while you sleep, right?

If you have an IC (a thing I highly encourage for anyone in your situation), you might mention the dream to him/her, but, again, I think itā€™s just your ā€œinner childā€ (dangā€¦where did that old psychobabble phrase come from?) expressing uncertainty AND your subconscious may be using that uncertainty to prod you to...

Quote
...switch doctors and see him before but I never did. Now I wish I had but I'm still going to call him and try to help H.

I think it IS significant that you wrote that immediately after recounting the dream, Charlotte. It was the first thing on your mind. Perhaps the dream was your subconscious mindā€™s way of getting you to see you should do this without further delay? Something to think about anyway.

So...you can have fun with dreams, you know. Train your subconscious, Charlotte. It can be done. Run over some things in your mind just before you go to sleep and relive that dream the way you would want it to proceed.

How about...next time OW is sitting on WHā€™s lap, knock the snot out of her with a good right cross, and then give her a piece of your mind about her character and probable ancestry. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> When WH ambles off in San Antone, haul him back with a nice lariat throw. Draw your six-gun and polish off those thugsā€¦and donā€™t worry about reloading any more than Roy Rogers did. LOL

Hang in there, lady. Youā€™re doing great...but thatā€™s normal for Texas gals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LH

(How ā€˜bout them Cowboys!)
Posted By: SIHW Re: H Dream - 11/08/07 06:14 PM
Before i knew of XH A I had a dream where I was standing at the edge of a bed and he was in bed with a faceless woman and they were laughing at me....after some detective work thats how I learned of his A.......When my xh A was in full swing I had a dream from xh point of view....he was in Disneyland on main st watching the electric light parade....snow white was on a float singing someday my prince will come....and I had the feeling he wasn't alone.....thought it was strange....he had all but disappeared and I couldn't get ahold of him at work on his cell or anywhere....and we needed to discuss the holiday visitation schedule.....called MIL....he was in Disneyland with her.....funny thing is he proposed to her there too...exactly where he asked me to marry him.....guess some guys arn't too original.


maybe your dream is trying to tell you something....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H Dream - 11/08/07 07:05 PM
Hi Longhorn,

I loved your interpretation. I have added my comments under yours so it would be easier for me to remember everything and easier for you to read. (I hope!)

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Pardon my intrusion but I don't have a clue why anyone would have a dream where the dreamer thinks itā€™s ā€œscaryā€ to be in San Antonio. There are nearly 2 million of us who live in this area all the time...and weā€™re not scared one little bit. LOL

LOL, explanation below!

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But I do have to admit that's a Texas-sized dream, Charlotte. Write it up, copyright it, and send it in to HBO to see if theyā€™ll make a miniseries out of it.

You're right, they need some new material! (after all, no more Sopranos!! sniff...)

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Charlotte, you went into some detail about a dream you had that (a) you recalled very clearly when you woke and (b) really bothered you. The two, put together, raise some flags for me. Lady, would you mind a few thoughts about dream interpretation, as slippery a thing as that is? I don't think there's anything too deadly serious in your dream but there might be something right at the end. Okay?

If you're still reading this disorganized mess, hereā€™s what I see in your dream, Charlotte. Please disregard anything/everything you think is nonsense. But you know that already, right?

10-4

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The ā€œbank robberyā€ in your dream tells me your sub-conscious might still be concerned about the difficulties you had at the end of last month getting to the bank to get money before your WH could drain the account. Are there some lingering aspects relating to the bank account you might not have covered entirely, or anything you can think of in that area?

I took care of everything I could. I do have lingering worries about what he's done to the account since then. I haven't looked. Well, I looked once. He ordered meds again. I don't know if he put money in to cover it. So I've just stayed away from it & hope to recover it once things have settled down.

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The picnic and family being present with the OW (other women) is your sub-conscious trying to fit all the characters in your life into a coherent group, no matter how dysfunctional a bunch they are.

Good point.

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The OW being present is interesting. Notice your dream had OW somewhat detached at one point (in her own car). The car signifies mobility? Sheā€™s going, but not gone? Or...they eventually all DO go away, but thereā€™s one still hanging around, albeit just barely?

I LIKE this. She's going away. This is what I hang my hat on. She will not want to hang around to pick up H's pieces. Her H is a very good provider & when it comes to money, she might as well use it for TP, she uses it a LOT. When we were in Dallas she was spending like there was no tomorrow. As far as the going but not gone yet, I haven't heard anything from OWH lately so I don't know what's up on their end. I did tell him about H's XW and the A in their marriage, though. I knew he'd pass it along to OW.

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That there is an OW from a past relationship in your dream could be your subconscious making a protest against all those unscrupulous ā€œother womenā€ repeatedly showing up in your life, couldnā€™t it? When you protest the OW being on WHā€™s lap, your subconscious is rebelling against the influence any OW has on the man in your life?

Good point.

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The idea of ā€œ...why did you bring me along...ā€ which your dream expressed in a number of instances, along with the ā€œdrugā€ sequence, seem tied together to me. Could they be an expression of your distress at not really being in control of your own destiny during this period? Your subconscious may interpret this as being powerless (as in drugged), right? "Mexico" seems to be an expression of being separated from the good, familiar, comfortable life you used to know and swept up in things you can't control.

I like this, too. I also think that when I asked him why he brought ME along in the dream it was tied into his cake eating during the A. And I guess part of me was hoping that he brought me along because he just can't let me go.

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You know, if you think about it in this context, you actually have been put into a situation where you are constantly reacting to events instead of being proactive as I interpret your personality prefers to be. You haven't had a vote in any of this...you've been dragged along whether you want to come or not. Seems to me youā€™re uncomfortable not being the captain of your own fate.

I used to be. And then I had a co-captain. Then the navigator sent him on the wrong course.

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I think the drugs (and the thugs) may also be a reference to the your WHā€™s drug use and his arrest. The thugs could be either the people WH is ā€œassociatingā€ with in jail or the mysterious suppliers at the other end of the online ordering chain. Either interpretation, or actually both (if youā€™re buying any of this), could be what your subconscious is dealing with. Do the thugs have the ā€œflavorā€ in your dream of being big, mean, and violentā€¦or distant and unreachable?

The thugs in the dream reminded me of the gang in Silverado that hijacked the wagon train. Remember scruffy guy? (can't remember his name) Head of the gang? "Stop that guy! Keep him from gettin' the horses!!!" re: Scott Glenn when he was in the valley spinning his ruse & the others were in the cliffs pretending to shoot at him.

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Do Bloody Maries (is that the correct plural version?) have any significance to you from events in your life? If youā€™ve had a bad experience associated with them of some kind? Perhaps itā€™s a re-emergence in the dream of the drugs being forced into your life (made to drink them?)...or not.

H & I, when we used to drink once-in-a-while...before all of this we drank once a year, maybe twice. We both enjoyed Bloody Marys. I don't like beer much at all and other drinks are too sweet usually. So when I needed a drink now and then during the A I pulled out the vodka & made a bloody mary. During the last month before exposure I was drinking them daily. Usually in the evening before H came home. I've never bought so much hard liquor in my life. Or drank so much in my life. That was yet another nail in the coffin of the A which spurred me to take action.

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Finally, the thugs, OWs, and WH all walk away, leaving you to deal with the aftermath. In your sleeping mind, youā€™re lost and alone, and donā€™t know what to do next. Your subconscious sees WH as being ā€œso far gone, it was scary.ā€ Think about the ending of your dream: ā€œMommy, Iā€™m alone...Iā€™m scared...I donā€™t know what to do...what do I do, Mommy?ā€ Not much interpretation needed there, is there? Your subconscious mind is concerned for your wellbeing. Not to worry. Weā€™re here to be your support group. Tell your subconscious mind I said so and to leave you alone from now on, okay?


Thanks, Longhorn! Sweet!

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I still donā€™t understand the significance of being in San Antonio though. Did you have a bad experience here once or is there something in your past that associates San Antone with being lost...detached...vulnerable...anything like that?


Well, to date, some of the worst experiences I've had in Texas have been in Dallas. Every time I go. San Antone, not really. The last time I was there was when H & I took the kids to Seaworld. We were going to go back that weekend to see the Monkees but we didn't make it. I don't know, maybe we were there in the dream because its closer to Mexico. I don't like driving in San Antone, Austin (yikes to the Austin drivers!) or especially Dallas...Houston is no better but the San Antone & Dallas are more unfamiliar. I think maybe that was all there was to the San Antonio thing in the dream.

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My feelings are that a personā€™s subconscious isnā€™t an adult in any sense of the word. It never matures. Itā€™s always a child overwhelmed by uncertainty. Itā€™s a primitive, purely emotional, side of your mind that doesnā€™t reason in a linear fashion. I suspect the ā€œlost and aloneā€ portion of your dream is simply an expression that you canā€™t see where all this is going and it IS a little scary, isnā€™t it...even for a Texan.

AND HOW!!!

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If youā€™re buying any of this, Charlotte, I wouldnā€™t worry about it. Itā€™s just your mind playing games and mulling things over in a thoroughly irrational way. After all, it has to do something after itā€™s taken care of all the maintenance functions it does while you sleep, right?

You're right.

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If you have an IC (a thing I highly encourage for anyone in your situation), you might mention the dream to him/her, but, again, I think itā€™s just your ā€œinner childā€ (dangā€¦where did that old psychobabble phrase come from?) expressing uncertainty AND your subconscious may be using that uncertainty to prod you to...

I'll bring this up in our next session.

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Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...switch doctors and see him before but I never did. Now I wish I had but I'm still going to call him and try to help H.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I think it IS significant that you wrote that immediately after recounting the dream, Charlotte. It was the first thing on your mind. Perhaps the dream was your subconscious mindā€™s way of getting you to see you should do this without further delay? Something to think about anyway.

Thanks for commenting on this. In a way I guess I had some slight reservations about calling but I was going to do it anyway. That I have a "thumbs up" about it helps.

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So...you can have fun with dreams, you know. Train your subconscious, Charlotte. It can be done. Run over some things in your mind just before you go to sleep and relive that dream the way you would want it to proceed.

How about...next time OW is sitting on WHā€™s lap, knock the snot out of her with a good right cross, and then give her a piece of your mind about her character and probable ancestry. When WH ambles off in San Antone, haul him back with a nice lariat throw. Draw your six-gun and polish off those thugsā€¦and donā€™t worry about reloading any more than Roy Rogers did. LOL

Great idea!! I don't know why I didn't do it anyway. I think (in the dream) I was trying to figure out why it was that OW from the past.

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Hang in there, lady. Youā€™re doing great...but thatā€™s normal for Texas gals.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks, Longhorn!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H Dream - 11/08/07 07:07 PM
That is one heck of a premonition, surviving!!


You know, I think I may have had a premonition also, but I can't remember it right now. But when you brought up your dream...something clicked in my head.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Called the doctor - 11/08/07 07:24 PM
I called H's doctor. The number he called used when he called our home last week or so is his personal number. So I left a message in his VM.

I thought it was his personal # rather than the office and I'm glad it was.

I told him in the message that I was very concerned and scared about H's drug use and that I'd like to get his advice as to what I could possibly do to help. I told him H has been ordering medication online & that he'd been to more than one doctor to get meds.

I was nervous so my voice was a little shaky.

If he doesn't call me back I'll call him again but I'm sure he'll call me.

He's such a nice man. His VM greeting ended with him saying, "God Bless You."
Posted By: SIHW Re: H Dream - 11/08/07 07:52 PM
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That is one heck of a premonition, surviving!!


You know, I think I may have had a premonition also, but I can't remember it right now. But when you brought up your dream...something clicked in my head.

your telling me I had more than those 2 the others were very hard on me one including my miscarriage....They left me with alot of anger. It took a long time to get over my feelings. I still go to the beach where my baby girl was laid to rest....it calms me when I need to think.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H visit - 11/08/07 08:53 PM
I'm SO nervous! H will be here at 7.

Help!!!! Get me out of here!!!!

Beam me up, Scotty!!!!

Spock, Spock...where are you????
Posted By: coachswife Re: H visit - 11/08/07 09:10 PM
Charlotte,

Did you say he's addicted to Soma?? My mother was addicted to that as well. It's an excellent muscle relaxer and very strong. She would take her 30 day supply in about a week and a half. Made her stumble and stutter etc. I eventually called her dr and told him she was addicted to it. He quit prescribing it and she just found another dr who would.

According to the family doctor it's very addictive and gets quite a premium on the street.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/08/07 09:58 PM
Hi coachswife,

Yes. Soma. He takes some other stuff too.

That's about how long H's supply lasts. He cut back for a while but in the weeks leading up to the exposure, before I even started making noises about the A again, his usage was a lot heavier.

I had a problem with it myself after I hurt my back...before the last back injury when I was trying to get H up off of the floor.

I finally quit that crap cold turkey and I don't want any part of it ever again. I thought H might follow my example but I guess he needed it to help assuage his guilt about the A and for the stress of living a lie.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H visit - 11/08/07 10:19 PM
Charlotte, I hope you are busy gussying up right now!! You will do GREAT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H visit update - 11/09/07 05:06 AM
Well, H showed up to pick up the disks he needed and he seemed to be dawdling around a lot so I talked to him.

He told me that he wished I hadn't filed for divorce because he'd found another way it could be done without filing. (he said he did some internet research) I told him that I was told that I had to file to be protected.

So apparently he HAS been thinking about things and not just drowning his sorrows with Soma.

I talked to him about his living quarters. He said he was still staying at the office. I told him he couldn't stay there forever. He told me his dad had offered to take him in if needed. I told him I'd talked to his dad last week and he said his dad had mentioned it.

He gathered some things he'd sold on eBay but hadn't sent yet because the auctions ended around Exposure to OWH Day so it's been heck since.

He was looking around the room saying..."I'm missing something but I can't remember what it is. I know I'm missing something."

I said, "Maybe your missing your wife." And he gave me such a look...I got him good with that one.

He was looking around in the spare room for other things to sell because I told him about DS & DIL's money problem that was going to get critical soon. I went in to help him and we were in a small space.

Well, I flirted with him and accidentally brushed up against him a few times. He accidentally did the same with me. And flirted back.

He said he didn't have time to eat when he first arrived, (I'd made a pot roast), but he stayed longer and longer. I'd already made a plate for him to take with him so he'll be having some of my cooking tonight. He hasn't had any since he left.

He said he wanted to come back over the weekend and have DS help him straighten the spare room a bit and help him move the boxes around.

I said, "That's all? That's kind of boring! Don't you want to go for a bike ride?"

He agreed to that if there was sufficient daylight but mentioned we'd have to get the bikes out of the storage shed. I said that shouldn't be a problem.

When he was getting ready to leave I gave him the note Melody helped me with this afternoon because I was so nervous after he called.

It was short and to the point.

I also gave him a story I wrote a few months ago that is of the "bodice ripper" variety. It's written in first person and no names are mentioned but you can clearly tell it's H & me.

We used to share our stories and poems with each other and though I've written a lot over the years, he hasn't written much.

Anyway, I think he'll like it. It's a fantasy about us reuniting in the physical way.

Oh, and the locks. He was offended when he saw that I'd fixed the locks and I told him I was tired of setting a booby trap every night and waking up hearing noises and waiting for the booby trap to go off.

He asked me why I needed to change the locks and I told him someone might break in. He asked why and I told him, well, I am here by myself. I am a female. There's always a possibility that things could happen.

By the time he left he had cooled down about the locks. He told me to make sure I locked up tight after he left.

What a goofball.

All in all, though, I believe things went pretty well. And the new me was bolder than I thought I would be. I guess I should give the new me a little more faith. I guess it will take a little while for ME to get used to the new me, much less H.
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:19 AM
Attagirl, Charlotte! Ya done good! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:26 AM
Thanks, Lady Clueless!!!

I can hardly believe I was able to do it!
Posted By: believer Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:28 AM
Good job, Charlotte. Pot roast cooking, yum. Now hubby goes back to sleep at his work. I love it.

Hope you were looking good.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:45 AM
Hi believer,

You bet! I was wearing this really slinky cool dress that I haven't been able to wear for at least 10 years...well, make that 14. I wore it to bro's graduation and that was the same year as our wedding.

Thanks to the famous infidelity diet I can wear it again. It has straps about an inch wide and it's cut different than a usual dress. It looks almost like a wrap-around dress but it's only partially so.

The hem is really cute, it is split in the front due to the wrap around look and the hem curves on one leg and also on the other. The slit/split can be provacative if you wish it to be so.

The pattern is kind of a brown/tan snakeskin interspersed with turquoise. It's a really pretty dress. I know the pattern sounds strange but it looks good.

And I wore a cologne I used to wear when we were dating that he LOVES. They don't make it anymore but the bottles I have left are still good. I'm surprised. Usually cologne will start to smell funny after a few years if you don't use it. Not this one. Darn shame they stopped making it!

Oh yeah, he was still wearing his wedding ring. I forgot to check last time. This may or may not mean anything, though. I want to be cautious and not read too much into things.

But I still thought the comment about the D that he made and the fact that he'd been researching it is a good thing.

And so was the flirting. Woooooooooo!!!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:50 AM
Great job Charlotte!!!!

Sounds like it will only be a matter of time before H REALLY starts missing you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:57 AM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I sure hope so, RIF!!

Now I need to gather up the strength to Plan A the heck out of him this weekend.

I think I can do it. I KNOW I can do it.

I wonder if I'll get a call tomorrow that the process server will be serving H.

I wonder how he'll feel when he is served. Well, he is apparently bothered that I filed. That much is clear.

At least I think so. I know I have to be careful about what Mr. Gray says.

But I'll tell you what...I saw an AWFUL LOT of Jonesy tonight!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 05:59 AM
I think he WILL miss me. I think he does already. I think he'll miss me even more after he reads the story... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 06:15 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I'm SURE he already misses you... You are the REAL thing... the OW is just a fantasy... and he's begining to see that now... Thats the whole reason for exposure and then a good Plan-A...

Keep up the good work and Plan-A your tail off!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 06:19 AM
Thanks, RIF!

You made me feel a WHOLE LOT better! I'm going to sleep and dream good dreams tonight!

Have a great night!

Charlotte
Posted By: MrWondering Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 06:47 AM
Charlotte,

Sometimes after good plan A evenings the Wayward spouse will completely pull away/pull back the next time you interact with him/them.

It's natural. He knows he's hurt you and may be determined this weekend NOT to lead you on and hurt you further.

It's a natural wayward reaction.

They don't call this a roller coaster for nothin'

In Plan A you must be prepared and able to withstand it with grace and dignity. You do Plan A (and then Plan B, if necessary) for you. He reaction shouldn't change your plan.

Act...don't react.

You did good today. Sleep well.

Mr. Wondering
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 06:49 AM
Charlotte,

I must have missed the post where you said you told your WH that you filed for divorce. I thought you weren't going to tell him.

If you did NOT tell him, then he's been in contact with OW, unless he checked at the courthouse or something.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 02:52 PM
Quote
He was looking around the room saying..."I'm missing something but I can't remember what it is. I know I'm missing something."

I said, "Maybe your missing your wife." And he gave me such a look...I got him good with that one.

Good one! Excellent quick thinking. Your interactions with WH last night are a great example of Plan A. Good job.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 03:38 PM
Thanks, princess meggy!

It just kinda popped out of my mouth on instinct. I know I probably had a little gleam in my eye when he snapped his head around and looked at me and I looked back at him.

I couldn't help it. If the gleam was there, it was there. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He didn't have a reply. The "look" was enough!

It was great and it was fun to be able to act natural around my H again.

I know I can't trust him and that saddens me. But I managed to keep those thoughts at bay for a little while so I could enjoy the moment and relish in our togetherness both while he was still there and after he left.

I'm glad I still love him. After the revelations of the last few days I was afraid that it might have flown the coop.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 03:42 PM
Hi Lady Clueless,

I told him about the D when he came over on Sunday. I don't think he quite believed that it was true. That's why I wanted to bring it up again and talk about it with him for a bit.

I didn't expect his response and I don't know what to make of it or if I should put much stock in it. I have thought about it throughout the night both before I went to bed and when I'd wake up to get a drink or rr break.

I can't think of any other reason he would have said it other than he doesn't really want a D.

What do all of you make of his comment?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 03:50 PM
Hi Mr. W,

Thank you for bringing that up. I'll keep that in mind so I won't get too sad if it happens.

What do you think about the D comment from H, Mr. W?

Also, H told me that he'd stopped the Direct Deposit for the next paycheck. I just told him that I knew that it would probably happen. He asked me to get a list of the bills so they can be taken care of + food, etc.

I think it is a good thing that he disclosed this to me.

A bad thing, though is that he still insists he has no money or very little money. I don't believe it. I will agree that it is a possibility, though, since I don't know how much money he spent getting ready for that trip they were going to take or if it included plane tickets, etc.

H hates to fly so I'm guessing that it was going to be a local trip. But that still means 4 days for hotel, etc. So, yes, it is a possibility.

He's big about being the one who is the provider so I think he would have done that so OW wouldn't see the "weakness" of H not having a lot of money to spend, because we don't!

She, on the other hand, has (had?) her own account which was essentially for mad money to spend as she liked because her H has a high income level.
Posted By: MrWondering Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 04:22 PM
my take...

The "other way" was likely the following scenario.

He'd just stay married to you and pay your bills (presuming you didn't upset him and walked his ever changing line). He'd keep you essentially penniless unable to hire an attorney on your own and eventually coerce you into signing some uncontested divorce paperwork for some pitence of settlement money. You'd accept it because otherwise all your utilities would be shut off...if they weren't already.
Of course...he'd expect you to understand that he's broke and there's nothing to get anyway...so why bother.

Filing was the right thing to do here. You'll get an order of temporary spousal support which he'll either pay or your attorney will garnish his wages.

If memory serves me...you just went to work yourself recently. Good. You may want to get a second job soon. Lawyer bills add up and WH may be losing his job. He can't pay ordered spousal support if he's unemployed and he'll likley stay unemployed to keep from being able to pay. You know...because HE's the victim here. Predictable wayward thinking.

Mr. Wondering
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 04:31 PM
Thanks, Mr. W.

I understand completely.

What do you think I should do next? I called my attorney and they haven't heard from the court as of yet. The county here is small so I'm thinking that it will happen soon. If not today then probably Tuesday.

And there's still the investigation at work. They had foreign visitors this week and I'm guessing that they were keeping this low key until the visitors return to their own country.

I'm just curious as all get out to know what they are planning to do with him.

They can't just ignore this whole thing, it doesn't just involve company assets but drug addiction by an employee. (Maybe two, she might be addicted as well.)

I'm unsure if I should call again but if I do I'd wait until next week and call the gentleman I spoke with on the phone to see if he received the information and reviewed it.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H visit update - 11/09/07 08:59 PM
Charlotte, if you just let the information sit and percolate, they will have time to really think about it without the distraction of the foreign visitors.

It could be that this is one time NOT to rush them getting back to you, and one time where time is on your side. Your H is still not home. THat is good. The affair was busted up last week, the OW is dealing with her H and incidentally probably really busy with their own relationship.

Your H is sleeping at the office. He has time to feel the impact of your exposure. No comfortable bed of his own, no comfortable bathroom of his own, no potroast (which you reminded him is so wonderful when you make it!) and no OW stroking his ego for him.

My opinion: I think you can let time do its work. Fog could be lifting really soon.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H was served today - 11/09/07 09:39 PM
Hi Bellevue,

Thank you. I'm hoping so.

I'll start at the beginning of today's events:

I asked about the D comment from everyone and Mr. W came through with it spot on.

H began emailing me about the D with different websites, etc. I finally emailed him back that I would rather talk in person instead of email.

I had called the lawyer's office to see if anything was new not long before the emails. They hadn't heard anything yet.

Well, after the last email I sent H, I got a call from the process server. He was going to pick the stuff up at 2 at the courthouse and go back to serve H.

Jokingly I said I would pick it up...next thing I know I'm on my way there and then on my way to meet the server halfway between here and there.

He bought me lunch and we were talking and as it turns out, he knows the royal family that owns H's company. He knows them personally. From a chance meeting in Big Town one night he forged a relationship with them and has had them for a client now for years.

Okay. There are too many coincidences here to be a coincidence.

Anyway we parted ways and I came back to wait. I didn't have to wait long before I got a call from H.

I didn't know if I should answer but I did. H said he'd been served, he didn't want it to have to come to this, blah blah blah. And he was mad about the car.

Just as I predicted.

He said, well, he guessed he'd have to get a lawyer and go for the jugular. (because of the language in the papers)

I told him I didn't know what was in there I had just given my info & H's info to my lawyer. He said, well, there's a lot of stuff in here.

I told him I wasn't trying to go for the jugular.

So then we said goodbye and hung up.

What now?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 09:41 PM
I had a pretty good cry on the way home after leaving the process server.
Posted By: Orchid Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 09:44 PM
You wait. You pray, cry, go stay with some friends.....notify your support group you need their support during this time.

Have you identified your personal boundaries yet? If not, start working on it.

Hugz,
L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 09:45 PM
Thanks, Orchid.

I have started the list but not finished it yet.

I'm scared.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 09:51 PM
He's really p.o.'ed. He didn't yell but he was mad.

Do you think he'll calm down?

And think about things a little bit?
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 09:57 PM
From this point forward Charlotte you no longer discuss divorce with your WH...When he attempts to engage you in a divorce conversation, (and he will), you repeat this mantra to him, "I only do marriage, my attorney does divorce"...Always stay on message and don't let him try and sidetrack you into little "ifs, ands, & buts" divorce conversations...Let the attorney be the "Big Bad Wolf"...Bat your eyelashes and remain the lamb...

You are doing GREAT...(((Charlotte)))

Mrs. W

P.S. I've only read one Stephen King book ever-Thinner (I know that is SHOCKING to all of you S.K. fans) Anyway, QUESTION: Tomorrow is "library day" for us-our DD LOVES the library and I think I want to check out a Stephen King book-you all make me think I MUST be missing out on something so awesome...Any suggestions on which one I should pick that will turn me into a lifetime S.K. fan?
Posted By: Tyk Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:00 PM
Yes he will.

This is another step in the road you've been forced to travel. You've done an amazing job so far and while this is the first time I've posted I've been following your story for a while now.

Your H has it all laid out in front of him. When he says "I had hoped it didn't have to come to this", well, it didn't have to come to this. This is a result of his decisions and his actions and it is STILL within his capabilities to stop it. I would tell him that the next time he acts like a victim of fate.

Stay strong Charlotte.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:02 PM
Thanks, Mrs. W.

He has the letter I gave him last night and I wanted to call him back and say that what I said in the letter still stands but I don't think that's a good idea.

I'm having a hard time of it right now.

I think I might call my IC.

Pick out "Blaze" it's a Bachman (King's pseudonym) book and it's a very moving tale.

Also pick out The Green Mile, The Stand, The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon, Insomnia, Lisey's story....etc.

But do get Blaze right away...it is FANTASTIC!!!
Posted By: Tyk Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:04 PM
My favorite Stephen King book is Four Seasons. Shawshank Redemption is one of the best stories he ever wrote, and its also the best film translation of any of his movies!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:06 PM
Thanks, Tyk, I'm doing my best trying to stay strong. I know this wasn't MY fault. He just can't seem to grasp that right now.

I doubt he'll be able to get a lawyer today. So he'll have until Tuesday to think about all of this.

I wonder if he'll try to contact me? I'll do just what you & Mrs. W suggested. I tried a little when he called...I just forgot the "I don't do divorce I do marriage" wording.

Oh, boy.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:37 PM
Charlotte, nothing has changed except his reality. You told him about filing and now he's a believer. You KNOW your reasons for filing (to protect yourself AND the marital assets) and he'll get that too once the fog starts clearing. Just sit tight and take Mrs. W's advice... you don't discuss divorce, only marriage.

Now. Go do something nice for Charlotte this weekend.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:41 PM
Charlotte, I know this is hard. You realize that serving him with D papers does NOT pull the plug on the marriage. He doesn't realize that yet. He will, in time.

He will realize it in his OWN time. And then he can begin moving to repair the damage. He's not at rock bottom yet. He is sinking and bobbing, and once he reaches bottom he has nowhere to go but up.

And who is "up"? Why, it's Sweet Charlotte, faithful and steadfast, dignified and with clearly set boundaries. It's Charlotte, the valient love of his life warrior princess who is slaying the dragon of infidelity so that her Prince can find his way home to their castle.

Charlotte, who keeps repeating "I only do marriage; I don't do divorce. I don't know what was in the papers my attorney drew up. I only know what I wrote to you."

Charlotte, of the hot slinky blue and brown snakeskin dress with the peekaboo hem, the keeper of the hearth and the potroast. The lady, not the tramp, the lady who walks with her head up high. The lady, who is guarding the bank accounts and community property for her Prince, so that they still have their castle once he comes out of the affair induced fog.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:43 PM
Thanks, princess meggy.

I think that he thought he was going to be fired or arrested. When he saw the cop & the PS he said to wait a minute & that he had to get some things from his office.

That's when they took him and sat him down in a conference room.

I'm so sad! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:44 PM
tsk. princessmeggy, while I was creating my grand opus, you said the same thing, pithily and succinctly. Dang. Wish I could write pithy and succinct.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:46 PM
Thanks Bellevue.

That was a beautiful story. It made me cry more but in a good way.

I'm going to copy and keep your story on my hard drive.

Then I can find it easily when I need to read it again and again.
Posted By: SIHW Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:48 PM
***charlotte*** we have faith in you

Any one read the Anne Rice novels?
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:49 PM
Naaah, I liked your version much better Bellevue... I actually could SEE what you were describing. So much better and way more comforting to Lady Charlotte.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:51 PM
I know!!! Charlotte... you should change your screen name to Lady Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 10:55 PM
Quote
I know!!! Charlotte... you should change your screen name to Lady Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

How about something a bit tougher....The Baroness Von Charlotte.....hahaha....or she could even be a Dutchess....oooh oooh she can be a Dame....you know they same as a knighting for a woman Dame Charlotte. She is a knightette in shining verbage for some uf us....
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 11:15 PM
Charlotte...

I'm so sorry that you are sad and going through all of this...You seriously are doing so great, but I know that it's all still very painful...I am continually awed here by the strength of BSs in Plan A...It's just takes unbelievable strength & character...

Belle's post made me think of Ark's lighthouse post in some ways-I love that post...I'm not sure if you've read it or not, so I'll c&p it for you below...

Mrs. W

P.S. Thank you for the Bachman/King recommendations...I'll check out Blaze tomorrow if they have it in...Thanks to you too Tyk for your suggestions-The Shawshank Redemption is one of my all time favorite movies! Loved The Green Mile too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Quote
Your spouse is in huge conflict....

the good news is and the truth is that they are totally incapable of a healthy relationship with anyone right now...

the competition we believe that exist with the OP is a shallow empty reflection of Gods light in this world...

It is empty and lonely no matter how good the rush

their actions are actions that they themselves do not like in themselves right now....though the need to go back again again and attempt to prove themselves wrong or right is strong...they do not like what they are doing...

their actions towards you, the children, the OP, and themselves...keep them from engaging in any type of real interactions...with real depth and truth

all they offer are misguided attempts to fill the void that has appeared in their life...
yet the filling is way too fleeting to sustain them and the truth is with them each night he or she lays down regardless of whom is next to them....

they are the living cliche..of no matter where you go to hide...there YOU are...

he or she is lost to themselves...

and you stand at that point of being the lighthouse home....even though they create the waves that block their vision from seeing that...

You become the lighthouse..you fill your home with light, calmness and sanctuary...

see just visualize yourself as a lighthouse...

Your offer them glimpses into that sanctuary at every chance you get...
you invite them towards it...let them know it is there as much as you can in a most subtle way....

they are untrustable right now...
but you know that...so they can't hurt you right now...they will spend great energy to convince others differently...but you know better...

you show the path by also protecting the children from their painful actions.....
set clear boundaries that the OP is not part of your childrens lives....
without lovebusting...
offer alternatives that let them see the children...but be clear that the OP is to have no access to them...
you fill the childrens lives with stability....they deserve it and need it more than anything else....

Do not discuss and or powerstruggle with them on irrational movements...seek out and validate the rational ones with lots of praise for when he or she chooses correctly....

your spouse is very lonely and sad right now..but that is OK...no one can stay very long in that chaos...it is wearisome to the soul...
and remove yourself from any aspect of participating or adding to the chaos...and eventually they will see that you are the only one...who stood with clarity and reason when they needed it most...


be the lighthouse....
OK that's really out there I know....

strength to you all..
ARK
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 11:43 PM
Hi,

Thanks for propping me up, everyone.

I'm saving this whole thread, who am I kidding? I have to keep this running journal and all of your kind words and support.

Well, I guess H won't be showing up this weekend. I'm trying not to think about that and I hope he is really thinking about things since being handed those papers a few short hours ago.

He has my letter from last night. I've told him over & over that I don't want a divorce, I want to save our marriage.

I hope I get more opportunities to do this until it is drilled into his head.

Maybe since he's heard it several times already it will seep in.

Thanks for the name change idea. I'll definitely consider it.

I have a headache.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/09/07 11:44 PM
That was great, Mrs. W.

Thanks for copying it over.
Posted By: Orchid Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 07:07 AM
Quote
...The lady, who is guarding the bank accounts and community property for her Prince, so that they still have their castle once he comes out of the affair induced fog.

Ok, so I've got to slow down in my reading. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I read "fair induced fRog." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 07:13 AM
I think "The Shawshank Redemption" is arguably the best movie of all time.
Posted By: RIF Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 02:51 PM
Hey Charlotte - Just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing today...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Another H dream - 11/10/07 02:57 PM
I had another strange dream with H involved.

What I can remember is the part where me & H were kissing and we were about to be intimate.

We were in our room, but our room/home was in a different locale, our room was in a beach house, or the whole house was a beach house, I'm not sure about how the rest of the house looked.

Anyway, he had to leave for a moment and I was in our room when this stripper or hooker (?) entered. She was dressed in a bustier with a garter and the whole bit.

I was like...hold it...hold the phone! I asked her what she was doing here and she said something about being invited.

I either thought or said "over my dead body are you going to put your hands on my H."

For some reason I knew she like the beach so I started telling her, "Look, there's the beach! The beach! You should go there right now! Hurry before the sun goes down!"

I was talking to her like you would tell a dog, "Fetch the stick! Fetch! Hurry! Go get the stick!"

So she left.

I knew I could tell H she went to the beach because she loved it so much.

H came back. I don't remember if he asked about her. What I do remember is he was talking about the car. Someone, I don't know who, had told him the car was no good anymore.

It couldn't be fixed and had to be gotten rid of. I told him I'd take the car rather than see it towed away to be crushed into nothing or stripped clean for parts, etc.

And that's about the time I woke up.

There were also a lot of people milling around in the beach house/our house during this whole thing. None of them came into the bedroom.

I got the feeling that most of them were businessmen & women. They were just walking around and talking. There may have been some family members there, but I'm not sure.
Posted By: Orchid Re: Another H dream - 11/10/07 04:22 PM
That's a weird dream. Both my son and I had reoccurring nightmares after d/d. Both were related to abandonment issues. My son was only 6 at the time.

Mine was in a bar with a long stainless steel counter. It wrapped around like a tight U shape. At one end was WS along with a bunch of asian floozies. A bartender was in the middle taking orders and my son & I were on the other end of that U shaped bar standing at a stainless steel sink, cleaning shrimp!


My son's dream on consisted of 3 small row type boats. Son & I were in 1 boat, WS in another boat with someone else rowing and a large tin soldier in a 3rd boat. The one with the tin soldier was trying to overturn our boat, which he finally did and all the WS would do is watch and row away. My son says he called for his 'daddy' to help but his 'daddy said he couldn't'. Then someone we made it to shore and ended up in Toys R Us (remember this is a 6 year olds nightmare)..... son said he couldn't find me and then the same tin soldier came after him in the toystore. About that time we found each other and escaped.

These dreams happened for me every night for 3 months. For my son it happened about 3 or 4 times during the same period. It was like a bad rerun with additional footage each time.

I realized our minds were attempting to understand the trauma we were experiencing. I am not a dream expert but used this opportunity to share with the WS the effect of his actions even on our little one.

It didn't stop the A but it showed him that his A was traumatizing our family.

Equipped with that, I strengthened my immediate support system. I told the story and kept reassuring our child our my support. That I would not leave him as his dad did.

This was not an attempt to bad mouth his father. This was reality and I was not about to downplay the severity of it. It was obvious my son even at 6 years old knew the WS' actions were wrong. I acknowledged this and we worked together on fixing what we could from our end.

As a result, my son composed is 1st letter. It was a 4 sentence letter to his dad with 2 questions and 2 strong statements. That letter is still in H's possession.

Later if you like, I can tell you the story of how a dream helped me go to plan B. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Another H dream - 11/10/07 04:34 PM
Hi Orchid,

Thank you. Yes, I'd like to hear about that plan B dream. I may end up in H imposed plan B since he was served. I hope not.

Thank you for the reverse babble info in the other thread. I have been going nuts trying to find and read the info in your RB link!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 04:38 PM
Hi RIF,

Sorry I didn't see your post earlier, I guess I was writing about the dream at the time.

It's quiet here and I'm wondering what H is up to. I hope he's thinking about his actions and everything else.

I'm probably going to go visit at my mom's and g'ma's home in a while. Our DIL & GS are supposed to visit there today.

I'm scared but I haven't cried today, yet. I prayed a lot for H, though. And for guidance.
Posted By: RIF Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 04:58 PM
Quote
I hope he's thinking about his actions and everything else.


Hi Charlotte!

Yep, I'm sure that he is! You're getting great advice here... stay the course and stay stong.

You and your H are in my prayers.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 05:03 PM
Thank you, RIF.

Your thoughts and prayers are very appreciated. I know that they will help.

Thanks for helping to hold me up so I don't fall.

Charlotte
Posted By: RIF Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 05:17 PM
Hey Charlotte!

We're all going to fall from time to time... the difference is the fact that YOU are getting back up and not letting this keep you down.

You're doing great! It's bed time for me, so I'll turn it over to your wise counselors here... Relax and have some fun this weekend! I suspect that your H will be calling you soon with a totally different attitude! (just be patient and give him some time to think things through... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H was served today - 11/10/07 05:22 PM
Thanks, RIF.

I sure hope he calls.

Have a nice rest. I'm going to stay busy and try not to think about H. (Yeah, like I'm going to be able to NOT think about him...right?)

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Checking in - 11/11/07 01:06 AM
Hi,

I'm just checking in to see what's going on in here. I guess I'm in "H imposed Plan B."

If that IS the case, what's my next move?

Futhermore, what in the world should I say at the hearing? I don't want a D? Because I don't. I'm not going to get up there and lie.
Posted By: Tyk Re: Checking in - 11/11/07 02:07 AM
Now you have your attorney start delaying.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 02:08 PM
Well, H answered the email I sent re: his PayPal address. He added that he wanted to come over for a couple of things to put on eBay. We discussed this the other day when I told him DS & DIL were having money problems.

I know this is his excuse to come over here and talk. I emailed him back asking that he call me this a.m. to find out what time is a good time to come over.

I was really surprised to hear from him at all. I thought I wouldn't see him or hear from him until the hearing.

Now I guess we'll see if he calls and actually does show up.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 02:30 PM
As for dreams, I had several throughout the night.

Lots of H dreams. In one, H was in the form of an old BF of mine. He wanted to be intimate but he didn't want me to get any STD's because of his cheating. Now that I think about this particular dream, it makes since because after the old BF and I broke up he got into IV drugs and slept around a lot. He contracted HIV a couple of years later and died of AIDS a few years after that. It was so sad. He'd lost his parents in a drunken auto accident when he was 2. His mom probably would have lived but no one found them until it was too late. It was a one-vehicle accident and they flew off of the road while on a curve and landed in some bushes. So his gp's raised him. His g'ma is still good friends with my g'ma. They have known each other since childhood.

Oh, and yes, I got myself tested after finding out about this BF having HIV & I was given a clean bill of health. Better safe than sorry, eh?

Another dream I had w/H was him telling me he was going to hire a female lawyer to try and make me look bad. In the dream I failed to see how that would make me look bad, and I remember looking at a list of things that H either gave me to look at, or I had written down myself to look at and see what I had done that was so bad. I woke up on about the third line of the list. I don't recall what the statements were.

In one of these dreams, I was also walking in a mall and I met John Corbett. The thing is, I accidentally called him Chris, his character's name in Northern Exposure.

Later on after I had checked email and gone back to sleep again, John Corbett was again in my dreams. He was concerned about my well-being and what H was up to. He was trying to talk to me and give me advice about H. He also wanted to go on a date and kept coming on to me.

Okay, let me say this: I have never had the burning hots for John Corbett or had a crush on him. I DID, however, think he was the best looking male actor on Northern Ex. I also liked his character when he was on Sex and the City as Carrie's BF.

I think he was in the dream because of the character he played on Northern Ex. I don't know how many here used to watch that show, but Corbett's character, Chris, was a philosopher and wise beyond his years. Everyone used to go to him for advice and he also gave advice on his radio show and discussed philosophy on his radio show as well: in his prologue, during and his monologue. So I can pretty much get why he was in my dreams.

I don't know why it was JC instead of some other philosopher, or even my IC, but I don't mind a bit! Oh yeah, just noticed his initials are JC. Hmmm, another thing to think about. Oh yeah, and he was a carpenter when he was on Sex and the City.

These dreams are getting interesting. I wish I was still tired. I'd go sleep for another hour or so to see if I could have any more.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 03:29 PM
Charlotte,
I didn't catch the date of the hearing. When is it?

I'm sure you've emphasized to your lawyer that you DON'T want a D. You want to delay, delay, delay, and the A is to do whatever it takes to accomplish that.

In the meantime,plan A your WH. Make deposits as much as possible. You know what he likes. If he "plan B's" you than all you can do is to be still.

Keep on your personal recovery journey as well. Be a person that anyone would want to be with. Improve on you.

You're doin great!

P.S. Those are some interesting dreams you're having there. Most of mine during my H's A (once I knew) were blunt and to the point. H picked OW in the dreams and I would wake up hysterical. But those dreams didn't come true.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 03:57 PM
Hi MicheleG!

Nice to see you this morning! Thank you for your advice.

The hearing is set for the 21st. That's the same day H was going to accompany me to the hospital for a mammogram because I found an anomaly, (probably a cyst, had one before but want to be sure), I did emphasize to the lawyer that I DO NOT want a D.

The day after the hearing is 14 1/2 years after our wedding day as well as T-bird day.

Last night when I went to bed early I thought that this was it. He wasn't going to contact me at all and just wash his hands of the whole thing. I was trying to prepare myself to accept that, even though I kept telling myself things that were of a positive nature...a good example being Thursday night when he was upset that I removed a picture from his wall that included me & H and an actor. He kept asking me why I took it down.

I told him I thought he might not want to look at it. He asked me more than once. Maybe he thought I was washing my hands of him? I think it rattled him quite a bit.

And the flirting that night. Two-way flirting. Before the A we were always very demonstrative with our feelings. We didn't make out in public but we always held hands or had our arms around one another, etc. At home, same thing but more intense. And we flirted with each other a lot then, too.

So...I should get the lawyer to postpone the temp hearing. I do have a good reason, I haven't cancelled that appointment. And I do need to be at that hearing, don't I? They can't have the temp hearing without me? Or can they?

Anyone know?

I haven't heard from H yet this a.m. I guess it's possible he's changed his mind about coming over. But I still have an appetite and I think I'll have a late breakfast.

The dreams have certainly been interesting. I'm glad your dreams about your H & OW didn't come true, MicheleG.

I'm hoping the good in mine comes true & not the bad. (I'd like to go to Mexico sometime, but not under those conditions!)
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:07 PM
Quote
So...I should get the lawyer to postpone the temp hearing. I do have a good reason, I haven't cancelled that appointment. And I do need to be at that hearing, don't I? They can't have the temp hearing without me? Or can they?

What is the purpose of the temporary hearing? Is it to extend the TRO? Or is it just to let the judge know where you guys are at in the process? Is your attorney asking for anything at the temporary hearing? I think it depends on the Judge and his preferences as to whether you need to be there. You husband HAS to be there because he was served probably with the TRO and a notice to appear. Is that right?

Usually at a temporary hearing the game rules are put into place, what the judge expects, discovery and mediation deadlines, etc., plus any temporary orders that need to be made are made.

You CAN ask your attorney to reset it because of your medical appointment but are you sure that you're comfortable with that? Do you trust your WH at this point not to twist off? Even though the affair has been busted up, doesn't mean that he's not still of a wayward mindset. Ya know?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:07 PM
It's interesting how our dreams reflect and give us insight into our real life experience.

Our son who was 7 -1/2 when X was "bestfriends" with OW had some dreams where he was shunted aside in favor of someone else. The OW and her H had 3 kids, the youngest was DS's age. X is/was very critical of DS. In Real Life DS told me a few times that his Dad was nicer to OW's D than he was to him. The dream showed that was what he was thinking as well.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:21 PM
Hi princess meggy,

That's the dilemma. When H came over Thursday one of the things he asked me to do was make a list of bills, etc. so he could give me the money. He informed me that the next check would not be going into the account. I told him I'd expected that.

The TRO was to stop him from diverting money, etc. Now that H knows for sure that I filed (I don't think he believed it at all the two times I talked to him about it) I don't know if he's going to be willing to give me any money, even if he was willing before. Of course, he's under the TRO now so he might have to. I'm not sure.

I don't have a copy of the papers so I don't know what all is in there besides giving me the car, which I don't want, didn't know the lawyer put in, and got H's goat really bad.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:24 PM
Oh yeah, and it's supposed to prevent BOTH of us from diverting money, taking things and selling unless for necessities...etc. And the hearing is to put it in place during the rest of the time the D is moving along, etc.

So I really don't know what to do.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:26 PM
That's sad that he had to go through that with his dad treating him like that. I hope your S is okay now. My H is very, very estranged from his daughter right now.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:28 PM
Quote
I don't know if he's going to be willing to give me any money, even if he was willing before.

It really isn't about whether he's willing. It's whether the Judge decides whether he's obligated to do so, thus the temporary hearing. That's why you "don't do divorce" (discussing and worrying about the details with him) and you only do marriage (discussing and reinforcing the positive things with him). Let your attorney handle the hard stuff and get you what you need and deserve.

I personally wouldn't reschedule the hearing because this initial one sets the ground rules (and sometimes it takes forever to get a new date, leaving you defenseless if your WH does decide to leave you high and dry). It won't move you any closer to divorce, it'll just set everything in place. You can then delay future hearings, deadlines, etc.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 04:38 PM
I'm not of the legal know how and I didn't have to do any of these things in my sit. But I hope we can get some answers here.

I'm wondering why you can't put your cards on the table as far as the court is concerned. Why shouldn't Charlotte let the judge know that she filed only for the purpose of keeping her WH from diverting funds? For reason of financial protection. She's not trying to bluff her WH. She already made that clear to him that she doesn't want a D.

Would the court look unfavorably on her filing for that reason? If not, then is there a reason to not disclose that she is working on saving her M?

I am obviously not knowledgable on this topic and I hope someone could answer these questions which might help you take your next step.

Princessmeggy? MrW, are you out there?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 05:05 PM
Quote
I'm wondering why you can't put your cards on the table as far as the court is concerned. Why shouldn't Charlotte let the judge know that she filed only for the purpose of keeping her WH from diverting funds? For reason of financial protection. She's not trying to bluff her WH. She already made that clear to him that she doesn't want a D.

Would the court look unfavorably on her filing for that reason? If not, then is there a reason to not disclose that she is working on saving her M?

I am obviously not knowledgable on this topic and I hope someone could answer these questions which might help you take your next step.

Princessmeggy? MrW, are you out there?


I second that emotion from MicheleG!

Thank you for the input princess meggy & MicheleG!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 06:14 PM
Speaking purely from a paralegal's knowledge (and not an attorney's training) of our wonderful legal system, the Judge's role is an impartial judge of the facts and legal issues. Charlotte filed a petition which is petitioning (asking) the Judge for a divorce. She set a divorce in motion and activated certain statute-mandated deadlines in action by her filing. A Judge's "impartial" duty is to make sure that the statutes are followed. The clock began ticking the day of the filing.

She could tell the Judge that she really doesn't want a divorce but he can't ignore the fact that a petition has been filed. He CAN'T and probably wouldn't care why she filed. He CAN order mediation (and most do) but that is for the purpose of hammering out a settlement. He CAN order counseling for one or the other partners or as a couple but that's likely not going to happen and it won't stall the divorce clock. He CAN dismiss it if Charlotte request it in a motion (but read below about that).

BTW Charlotte, if your WH doesn't answer, you'll get a default and in 60 days you go before the court and finalize the divorce. I tell you this so that if he DOES default, make sure your attorney non-suits (dismisses) the divorce before the 60 days are up.

I suppose she could have filed a TRO alone (just like you would against a business partner) but I'm not sure how that would work since there would have to be some kind of final resolution. I dunno, I could be wrong about that.

Mr. W? Maybe you can explain this a little better.
Posted By: MrWondering Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 07:37 PM
I have no idear.

I, too, felt that she shouldn't delay the next hearing as that hearing should put in place the order requiring WH to pay spousal support.

Charlotte hasn't even seen the documents so we are all a little blind here as to what the TRO says in full.

PM is much closer to Texas judicial and administrative processes than I.

Mr. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H just called me - 11/11/07 07:44 PM
He is still very upset. He says he doesn't own the car anymore, he doesn't own anything anymore. He is a nobody. He said he was served at work at couldn't talk to anyone after he was served.

I finally asked him if we could talk in person instead of on the phone. He said he call in a little while as to when he was going to come out. He said it might not be today since he is so upset. He might come out after work instead.

I kept telling him I didn't know what was in the papers.

He just now called back and said he'd be here in about an hour and a half.

I'd better hurry, I was going to make potato soup. I doubt he'll feel like eating, though.

I hope I don't screw this up.
Posted By: MrWondering Re: H just called me - 11/11/07 07:51 PM
God is your co-pilot here.

Have faith.

You'll do fine.

He already appears to be taking on the victim's role. Whatever.

Plan A, Plan A and Plan A.

You don't have to apologize over and over. Like you have legitimately been doing...keep blaming the lawyer. Act like you are going to march right in there Monday and give him a piece of your mind.

Blameshifting...keeps the focus of you so you can Plan A.

"Dang Lawyers...we don't need them...let's just work this out...I've got a plan...wanta know about it?...what's the ideal resolution to this mess?...want some soup???

Mr. Wondering
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H just called me - 11/11/07 08:29 PM
Thank Mr. W,

I haven't apologized yet. Not gonna.

Thanks for the advice!

Gotta hurry!!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: 11/11-H update - 11/11/07 08:56 PM
Quote
I, too, felt that she shouldn't delay the next hearing as that hearing should put in place the order requiring WH to pay spousal support.

I don't think she'll get spousal support because she works. Texas only has a "form" of alimony (for the final decree) and that's in situations where one spouse has been a SAHS for a period of time and no way to catch up. Even then it's only for a limited time.

I imagine the temp hearing will be to go over deadlines and to reissue temporary orders as to diverting funds, harassing, selling property, and child support etc.

Brit's Brat, if you're reading, do you know the answer to question above about the Judge knowing she doesn't really want a divorce? You're in Texas right?
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H just called me - 11/11/07 09:00 PM
Quote
He is still very upset. He says he doesn't own the car anymore, he doesn't own anything anymore. He is a nobody. He said he was served at work at couldn't talk to anyone after he was served.

My FWH pulled this too. I remember at one point, he handed me his keys and his wallet with his credit cards and said, "You might as well take them, I have nothing left." I said, "Okay," and took them and walked away. Of course 30 minutes later he was back saying he didn't mean it. He saw that it wouldn't work with me.

Charlotte, Mr. W is right about how to handle this. Just let him know this IS NOT what you want and you know a better way.

You'll do great... you have up until now... why should that change? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H visit - 11/11/07 11:33 PM
Well, Mr. W & princess meggy...ya'll were right. I did just fine. It seems the more confidence I'm able to put forth, the more confident I get.

Of course he wants me to drop the suit. There's another way, etc. I kept on with the "I don't do divorce."

I asked H just what it was he thought he could do in order for me to trust him. H says, "I told you I wouldn't leave you high and dry..blah blah blah, etc. etc. ad nauseum..."

I said, "Yes, but you also said you'd never cheat on me and then you ended up having an affair."

He said, "So this means we couldn't be friends after all is said and done and we end up with a D?" (he never uses the word, BTW.)

I said, "No. You have shown me that I can't trust you. How could we be friends if I couldn't trust you?"

He didn't like the sound of that, but it's true, eh?

He said, I'd be willing to try...if...blah blah blah...drop the suit...blah blah, etc. etc. ad nauseum.

I had no comment.

He admitted to me that he had another bank account. I said, I thought he probably did. (I knew about it already through Bobby Goren/Columbo-like sleuthing.)

He said he'd change the password back to what it was before on our account.

I explained to him the way it would be about being transparent, etc., if we were going to try and make a go of it again. I told him it would mean that BOTH of us would be transparent, not just him.

He seemed to be okay with that.

I told him I knew that it would be hard but that it could be done and we could recover our marriage. I told him we could regain trust and fall in love again. I told him I love him but I was not "in love" with him at this point, but that the love we have is important and it's a mature love, strong and true.

He still has to think about things of course. He said yesterday was a bad day for him. I asked him what had happened yesterday. He said he was throwing up and felt bad all day. "You know me," he said. "You know my reaction to stress."

I told him, yes, I do know.

So anyway, I know there's more but right now I'm going to kick back for a little while. Sunday cartoons will be on soon so I'm going to enjoy them.

He did take some of the soup with him. He didn't feel like eating and frankly, I don't either, at least not yet.

He really like the roast he took with him last time. He had to tell me twice. He hasn't been eating much, is what he told me when I asked. I told him I was worried he wasn't eating right and/or eating too much junk food.

It went really well, I think.

More as I remember it!!

Thanks again for all of the help, you guys!!!
Posted By: MicheleG Re: H visit - 11/11/07 11:51 PM
Again...well done Charlotte.

When he does decide to recommit to the M, make sure your requirements are known. These are the things YOU NEED to recover from his A. Just a side note.

Enjoy your evening.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/11/07 11:58 PM
Thank you, Michele G!!

I started a list the other day but I haven't finished it yet. I'll have to post what I have so far...or I might add to it first before posting here for feedback...

I hope you enjoy your evening as well!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H visit - 11/12/07 12:19 AM
Quote
I said, "Yes, but you also said you'd never cheat on me and then you ended up having an affair."

Perfect.

Quote
He said, "So this means we couldn't be friends after all is said and done and we end up with a D?" (he never uses the word, BTW.)

Foggy speak straight out of the wayward handbook.

Quote
I said, "No. You have shown me that I can't trust you. How could we be friends if I couldn't trust you?"

Excellent.

Quote
He still has to think about things of course.

More fogspeak. If he was sincere and truly remorseful, he wouldn't have to think about it.

Quote
He said yesterday was a bad day for him. I asked him what had happened yesterday. He said he was throwing up and felt bad all day. "You know me," he said. "You know my reaction to stress."


Has he always used the pity party to get your sympathy? Anything that he's experiencing now is a result of his own choices. Keep Plan A'ing him but stay firm with your boundaries so he'll know you're not playing. This is YOUR LIFE.

Good job Charlotte. Excellent Plan A stuff (carrot and the stick!)

As I've said before, I've never done a Plan A (it was too late for me when I found MB) but I've read and learned enough about MB to recognize good Plan A moments. There are many here who can offer you more advice on ways to continue doing it.

Stay strong and I'm praying for you and your WH!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/12/07 12:26 AM
Thanks, princess meggy!

BTW, when he brought up that, "stress, you know how I am," comment, I said, I know, H, I've been feeling that way for months.

I don't know if that was the correct response. I didn't think it was an LB. It is, after all, the truth.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/12/07 12:27 AM
P.S.) princess meggy...thank you for the prayers!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Lyrics - 11/12/07 03:43 AM
Listening to one of my fave songs by one of my fave bands yesterday...I reflected on how apt the lyrics are to this situation. When I sang them to my mom & DIL...my mom thought I had written them. Anyway, here they are:

Wildest Dreams

I'm gonna organize some changes in my life,
I'm gonna exorcise the demons of my past.

I'm gonna take the car and hit the open road,
I'm feelin' ready to just open up and go.

And I just feel I can be anything,
That I might ever wish to be.
I fantasize just what I wanna be,
Make my wildest dreams come true...

***
Chorus:

I'm on my way
Out on my own again
I'm on my way
Out on the road again

***

When I remember back to how that things just used to be,
And I was stuck inside a shroud of misery,
I felt I disappeared so deep inside myself,
I couldn't find a way to break away the h*ll.

When I'm feelin' down and low,
I vow I'll never be the same again,
I just remember what I am,
And visualize just what I'm gonna be.

***
Chorus (slight change):

I'm on my way,
Out on my own again,
I'm on my way,
I'm gonna break away.

(repeat)

***

Well, that's just one that I've notice of late that is so close to the sitch. With this one it works because I have been on the road a lot...and it was the road that many of you pushed me to jump on to go meet with OWH.

I thank you once again from the bottom of my heart.

Now...I need a course on H handling...I have a song for that, too. The chorus is "Handle with kid gloves," of course it's not H that needs to be handled that way but the situation itself.
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 04:02 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Hope you're doing well this evening! Just wanted to let you know that I'm here on the Night-Shift if you can't sleep...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 04:14 AM
Hi RIF,

Thank you. And the same to you!

Thanks for being on the night shift. I'm guessing I'll probably wake up a few times just like last night. I'll think I've slept 5 or 6 hours and then when I check the clock I will see that I've only slept 2.

Curious to see what dreams will be coming in tonight and if H and John Corbett will show up!
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 04:24 AM
When I was taking the once-a-week malaria pills, I was having violent dreams of killing my family...

So I switched to the once-a-day malaria pills... Now I just have wierd dreams. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 04:33 AM
Whoa! That's scary!!

When I started taking the pills to stop-smoking I had real vivid dreams. I remember the first one I had. I was on Living Island with H.R. Puf-n-Stuf and Jimmy and the rest of the gang.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 05:31 AM
Quote
I was on Living Island with H.R. Puf-n-Stuf and Jimmy and the rest of the gang.

LMAO! Now I can't get that theme song out of my head! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You did AWESOME tonight Charlotte...Have either of you brought up his moving back home?

Mrs. W

P.S. Oh yeah, and Mr. W checked out Blaze for me yesterday, he also got me This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti...I'm gonna read the Peretti one first, but I'm looking forward to Blaze too...Thanks again for the recommendation! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 05:37 AM
Quote
I was on Living Island with H.R. Puf-n-Stuf and Jimmy and the rest of the gang.


ha ha! I remember that show!!! That was one of my favorites!

Hey Mrs. W - So how does the song go???
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 05:54 AM
LOL Rif...I had to look up the words...only the first couple of lines were playing in my head along with the tune...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Here it is in it's entirety! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Quote
H.R. Puf n Stuf Theme Song
H.R. Pufnstuf who's your friend when things get rough
H.R. Pufnstuf can't do a little because you can't do enough
Once upon a summertime just a dream from yesterday
A boy and his magic golden flute heard a boat from off the bay,
Come and play with me Jimmy
Come and play with me
And I will take you on a trip far across the sea
But the boat belonged to a kooky old Witch
Who had in mind the flute to snitch
From her Vroom Broom in the sky
She watched her plans materialize
She waved her wand -- the beautiful boat was gone
The skies grew dark, the sea grew rough
And the boat sailed on and on and on and on and on and on
But Pufnstuf was watching too and knew exactly what to do
He saw the Witch's boat attack and as the boy was fighting back
He called his Rescue Racer Crew as often they'd rehearsed
And off to save the boy they flew
But who would get there first?
But now the boy had washed ashore Puff arrived to save the day
Which made the Witch so mad and sore she shook her fist and screamed away
H.R. Pufnstuf who's your friend when things get rough
H.R. Pufnstuf can't do a little because you can't do enough
H.R. Pufnstuf he's your friend when things get rough
H.R. Pufnstuf can't do a little because you can't do enough

Of course ole H.R. Puf n Stuf made me think of all those Sid and Marty Kroft shows...So now I'm humming the theme from Sigmund the Seamonster to get the other one out of my head! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Mrs. W
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 06:12 AM
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mrs W - you should go on the singing bee? You silly yankees have that show there don't you?
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 06:19 AM
Thanks Mrs. W! I normally can't stand scary stuff, but I used to love Witchy-Poo! ( I still refuse to watch the Wizard of Oz! )

Thanks for finding this!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 07:09 AM
Hey Mrs. W,

Thanks! I woke up from a semi-bad dream. (No H in this one.) And no, neither one of us has brought up his moving back home.

I LOVE Puf-n-Stuf & all of the Krofft shows.

H got me the dvd set of Puf a few years ago and I initiated my nieces, much to my brother's chagrin. They love Puf to death, too! I did't have the heart to tell them that Jimmy (Jack Wild) is no longer with us after I heard that he'd died. He passed away in March 2006.

Now I've got the song in MY head, too!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 07:12 AM
And how 'bout Land of the Lost? The original, not the remake.

Those Sleestak critters used to scare the crap out of me!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 07:26 AM
Hey Charlotte - Yeah, I remember that show too... looking at those old shows with the "high-tech" special effects seems kind of cheesy now!

Hope you get some rest this evening and don't have any more bad dreams!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 07:39 AM
Heyyyyy RIF,

Thanks! I'm going to try and go back to sleep in a few minutes. Maybe I'll dream about being on Living Island again! Or that I'm in the Land of the Lost.

Yep, special effects sure have come a long way since then. Sometimes it's overdone, though. I thought the CGI effects in MIB II were wayyyyyy overdone, while Reign of Fire's (with Christian Bale) CGI effects were great! (just to cite 2 examples)

I still remember when H & me saw Reign of Fire. We stopped to get groceries after the movie and ran into one of his coworkers. It wasn't OW, though.
Posted By: RIF Re: Lyrics - 11/12/07 08:33 AM
Good night Charlotte... hope you sleep well.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H - 11/12/07 07:41 PM
I'm having a weak moment here and experiencing withdrawal because I'm missing my H. Not the new H: Mr. Gray...the old H: my sweet Jonesy.

There's a chance I might hear from him today...I'm sure his head is still spinning...but I'd like to hear if he has anything to say to me. I hope he calls but I'm trying to brace myself if he doesn't...and I don't want to call him right now. I want him to absorb information so he will start to "get" it.

But I sure do miss Jonesy...<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/12/07 08:48 PM
Well,

H will be by around 5pm.

Updates as warranted.

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/12/07 10:30 PM
Hang on, Charlotte. Steady as she goes.
Posted By: The_411 Re: H - 11/12/07 10:54 PM
Charlotte we're behind you .... just rememeber to dodge the cake that comes spewing from his mouth
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/13/07 12:51 AM
411 - eeeeewwww.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/13/07 02:10 AM
Hey, thanks for the support..."ya'll!"

It went really well with H today. The hot button issue did not come up.

We talked about family and other things and we flirted and a Plan A'ed my butt off!

I made pasta with homemade sauce...H loves my homemade sauce... and he took a doggie bag with him when he left.

I walked him out to the car and noticed the note I gave him on Thursday was under the console in the middle. It was not folded, it was underneath with the words that I wrote showing. (It was a short, to the point letter re: our M, etc. that Melody helped me write.)

I said, "Oh, there's the letter I gave you, did you have a chance to read it?"

H says, "Yes, and it is right here so I can read it again."

So I thought that was cool. Not crumbled up into a ball...not lying on the floor...but under the console where he can see it for comfort. Good.

In other news:

The OM and OWH will be subpoened to testify at the temporary hearing. (I can hear something hitting the fan already!!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/13/07 02:15 AM
Oh, must add: There was a lot of GOOD tension between the two of us. For reasons unknown, two or three stacks of radio stuff...sometimes books, sometimes microphones and radios and books etc., fell over so I helped H pick them up. (He had some things for eBay that he was getting ready before the tsunami of truth hit.)

So that was a good opportunity because I was wearing short shorts, and well, you know... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />!!!!

Here's what you're missing, H! Etc., etc.

I haven't had so much fun being around him since before this whole mess started. I could tell he was enjoying it, too...and that I make him nervous; in a GOOD way. Also, since exposure I am being treated with RESPECT by H, none of that crap that was going on before exposure.

Of course, the foggy thing once in a while but on the whole, R-E-S-P-E-C-T and courtesy when he talks to me, etc.
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/13/07 02:35 AM
You did just fine, Charlotte. I don't know how it could have gone any better. Keep it up. And post that recipe for the homemade sauce.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H visit - 11/13/07 05:36 AM
Thanks, believer. I must have reserves of strength that I am drawing from. I'm going to need all of the strength I can get when it's time for the hearing. I have to be in SERIOUS Spock mode!

I'll have to post that sauce...unless I'm in Granny Clampett mode...secret secret secret!!

It's simple, not a lot of things mucking it up. Some of the best recipes have the least "decoration" it seems...
Posted By: believer Re: H visit - 11/13/07 05:43 AM
I imagine hubby will probably try to wiggle his way back into your good graces.

But I think it is EXCELLENT that OM and his wife will be called as witnesses. Very good.

You seem to have a knack for this stuff and I'm very confident that you will do well.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Dream - 11/13/07 05:51 AM
Okay, I went to bed a little after 10 or so. I sent H a goodnight text telling him I enjoyed our time together even though it was short.

I woke up a bit ago from a dream, thinking it was the wee hours. Ha! It wasn't even two hours since I went to bed!

Anyway, in the dream my niece was in my mom's van. Her sister had gone back to another state where they live with my bro. My niece had been in the van for 3 or 4 days. Closer to 3 I think.

Somehow everyone kept forgetting she was in there and she was afraid to get out because of the consequences. Her bio "mother" had trained her to be afraid.

I was inside talking to my mom and I saw my niece out there and I asked her what she was going to do about the kid.

Then I remembered that my niece had been in the van for 3 days and I ran out there to go get her. She even still had her seatbelt on.

I hugged her tight and asked her if she was okay and apologized over and over again for forgetting about her in the van.

I took her into the kitchen to give her some water and I told her to drink very slowly. A sip...wait...a sip...wait, etc.

She was in great condition for having been in the van for so long.

She asked me how do people do that with the fog, or reach through the fog without others knowing...kind of like it was a magic trick. (It had apparently been very foggy on one of the mornings she was in the van.)

It was around this time that I woke up. At first I was afraid something happened to my niece but then I was like...
...Oh, yeah...(duh!)...she was ME...or I was she, etc.

When I thought more about it it made perfect sense, of course. And she is the niece that looks the most like my bro when he was little (facial features) and my bro and I look a lot alike because of facial features (except when he has a beard). Bro & I look alike, sis doesn't look like us but we all sound a lot alike on the phone & so does my mom.

My other niece resembles my sis more, especially when she was younger...and the dream niece as well. They are a little different now but you can still see our family line in them.

Anyway...just had to share that dream! Now I get to try and go back to sleep!
Posted By: RIF Re: Dream - 11/13/07 05:56 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I hardly ever remember my dreams...

Just wanted to let you know that I'm here on the Night-Shift if you have trouble getting back to sleep!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/13/07 06:02 AM
Thanks believer!

I wasn't sure it could be done until that interesting convo with the process server and he brought it up.

Well, I had to think about it...for about 1 second! Perfect! Another nail in the coffin of the A!! Now that I know one of her weaknesses about being SO worried about what others think of her. To the extreme.

Thank you, OWH.

I was talking to Melody earlier this evening. I told her, "I'm SO evil!! But I'm a GOOD evil!!"

Naturally I felt bad about having to do this, to an extent. But then I told myself, "What the heck is wrong with you! She didn't give a rat's a** when she was stabbing you in the back and hurting you. All you are doing is giving her another dose of reality! This could help you and others as well so that she never cheats on her hubby again! That way some other woman can be spared the pain of infidelity at least from this woman."

So I gotta do it.

Will it help to stop her from cheating again? There's a strong possibility. I don't think she has any idea of the consequences of her actions. Well, I guess she does a little bit now, but I don't think she realizes the extent of the consequences. Yet.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H visit - 11/13/07 06:04 AM
Must add:

I will enjoy the time with hubby while he tries to wiggle his way back into my good graces. But I'm not budging.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dream - 11/13/07 06:09 AM
Hi RIF!

Thanks! I'm probably going to try to sleep again in a little while.

You said you don't remember your dreams. You don't remember anything at all? Do you remember if they are in color? I know that some believe that people never dream in color but I think it depends on the individual. I've always dreamt in color. I remember once or twice when I had some sepia-toned dreams...but that's it. The rest of the time color is always there.
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: Dream - 11/13/07 07:39 AM
Charlotte, when I dream, it's ALWAYS in VIVID COLOR! Nothing like Technicolor Dreams! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> LOL!

TJ...Hey, RIF! Hope you're doing well. I'm still holding down our end of our state! Take care over there, and I appreciate what you're doing for us!
Posted By: RIF Re: Dream - 11/13/07 07:49 AM
Hi Charlotte,

I can remember some of my dreams, and they are usually in color... but I don't remember them as clearly as you do... just bits and pieces...

Hope you're getting some well deserved rest!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dream - 11/13/07 08:15 AM
Ditto from me re: Lady Clueless's words to you, RIF!

How did you know I was still up? I tried twice to go back to sleep but now my mind is bugging me and keeping me awake thinking too much.

I even emailed H and told him about the dream...but not the interpretation...except that "she was me."

I started thinking about everything H and I have been through over the years and also about when his mom died. Then I started thinking about the damn pill thing again. His mom took a lot of pills...not just prescription but OTC also.

His dad believes this might have contributed to her renal failure and he's probably right.

I'm so worried about H and the damn pills, I really hope they have a policy at work so he can get some help. Unless they just let him go when they finish their investigation.

I brought the pill thing up when he was here on Sunday but I didn't dwell on it long. He ordered more pills on Monday. I think he was a little stoned when he was over here earlier.

He was probably nervous about coming here so he took something. He does too much of that when stressed. I really hope this issue can be resolved before the damage to his system is too extensive. I hope it's not too late already.

I know he thinks he has the pills under control but he really doesn't. Not when he can go through a bottle of 90 m.r.'s in a week and a half or so. That's about the average.

Okay, I've got to stop thinking about it. My brother's GF is Hawaiian and she's a healer and they've both been praying overtime for me as of late, before the day I exposed to OWH.

They've been praying for H, too and I asked them to send some extra praying his way to help him get out of the fog and back into the real world...to get Mr. Gray out of Jonesy so Jonesy will be saved.

Well, I guess I'm going to try and go back to sleep for the third time.

Have a great night and with any luck...I won't be back until daylight here. Or maybe even after daylight!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Dream - 11/13/07 08:32 AM
Hey Charlotte & L_C - thanks for the kind words!

Try not to worry about the pills for now... I suspect that your H is doing some serious thinking about all that's gone on in the past couple of days. Once he de-fogs, you can work on the pill thing...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Dream - 11/13/07 08:34 AM
It's funny - I believe that doctors say dreams are always in black & white.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Dream - 11/13/07 04:46 PM
Dreams, mine are in color. And Usually Ican't hear anything. The ones where I can hear something are so rare I remember them. Mostly I "hear" in my head when dreaming.

Charlotte, nice "fog" dream. It won't be long now.....!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Dream - 11/13/07 05:22 PM
Hi Bellevue!

Nice to see you this morning.

Do you ever taste things in your dreams? What about smell?

I sure hope your right and H's fog lifts soon. This a.m. he sent me an email asking if the pictures were all there and that I should text him or email him because he has to "dig up a lawyer for next week."

I wrote back thanking him and wished him a good day.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Dream - 11/13/07 05:38 PM
Charlotte, rarely I taste & smell things, so those times stick in my mind.

So your H is going to "dig up a lawyer"? Where, from the graveyard? ROFL

I hope he finds one before he gets there. Someone still breathing. [Well, maybe not. All the better for you.]
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: Dream - 11/13/07 05:39 PM
BigK, that just goes to show that doctors don't know everything! They oughta know better than to say "always", if that's what they say.

Or, maybe doctors just don't have any imagination or something. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Dream - 11/13/07 05:39 PM
Big K - Doctors don't know anything.

Old movies are in black and white. Dreams are in color. Mine are, anyway.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Another H email - 11/13/07 06:04 PM
Well,

H emailed again commenting about the dream and telling me that he did get some rest but was in a rush to get his data to his attorney, etc.

He said he would still look for that webcam for my mom that he said he was going to get her before the crap hit the fan on 10/30.

I didn't comment on anything about his attorney this email or last email.

I guess he'll probably want everything to be over and done with so he can move on with or without OW.

I know they talked about it during the A, getting rid of me and OWH.

I'm trying to prepare my brain for this scenario. My brain doesn't want to hear it. My heart doesn't want to hear it. I will still do Plan A until I can't. I don't know when I should go to Plan B.

This sucks.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Another H email - 11/13/07 06:17 PM
Quote
I guess he'll probably want everything to be over and done with so he can move on with or without OW.

I know they talked about it during the A, getting rid of me and OWH.

What's this? This is not GODDESS talk. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Mimi, where are you? Charlotte, you've only begun Plan A. Please give it a little time.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Another H email - 11/13/07 06:21 PM
I'll try princess meggy. Thanks. The whole temp hearing and having to file for a D and now H getting his attorney have me feeling a little down.

I have to go fax contact info for OW & OWH after lunch. I don't know how long it takes to get a subpoena, but I hope it's a fast process.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Another H email - 11/13/07 06:31 PM
Yeah, give it a little time. Time to be divine, appealing, and remain steadfast and gorgeous.

He's still fogbound. Memories of his talks abut "getting on with their lives" are still ringing in his head. He hasn't gotten it that those dreams were just that - silly fantasy dreams shared between two infidels. They had nothign to do with real life.

It will hit him, and he will have your letter. He's going to have to read the instruction manual you wrote for him, the instruction manual on how to repair things. Wait. He's still sailing along on fantasy and false bravado.

He's going to re-read that letter. And the penny will drop. He's going to "get it" that going forward with an attorney to divorce you is not what he wants. The optical illusion will switch, reverse, and he'll "get it."

He's like a rat in a maze, he'll stumble on the pathway home eventually.

Charlotte, you have come so far. You are very brave.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Another H email - 11/13/07 08:36 PM
Yeah, what Bellevue said.
Posted By: committedandlovi Re: Another H email - 11/13/07 10:37 PM
I guess he'll probably want everything to be over and done with so he can move on with or without OW. I know they talked about it during the A, getting rid of me and OWH.

Rid?? As in Divorce? Or something more heinous??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

When people are under the influence of controlled substances MB doesn't work, have you read that part from Harley?

committed
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Another H email - 11/14/07 12:43 AM
Well, I guess I'd better quit right now, then, cal.
Posted By: myfamilyilove Re: Another H email - 11/14/07 12:53 AM
Hi Charlotte,

What is this letter you gave to WH? I wonder if you could post it or email it to me? Do you think it would work on my WW?

Vladie
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Vladie - 11/14/07 12:58 AM
Hi Vladie,

Send me your email to: [Email][/Email]

Hopefully yahoo mail is working today, it keeps going in and out.

I'll send you a copy of the letter.

Charlotte

P.S.) let me know when you have my address so I can remove it. Thanks!
Posted By: myfamilyilove Re: Vladie - 11/14/07 01:11 AM
Ok charlotte thanks
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Vladie - 11/14/07 02:49 PM
I was kidding about quitting, you know.
Posted By: committedandlovi Re: Another H email - 11/14/07 02:58 PM
Quit what?

The marriage?

I was simply sharing something that Harley considers VERY important...


Here it is...in his own words...

One of the first things I do when couples see me for counseling is to evaluate them for drug and alcohol addiction. If I feel that either is addicted at the time, I refer the addicted spouse to a treatment program. The Love Buster, drug or alcohol addiction, will prevent them from resolving their marital conflicts because it controls them. It must be eliminated before marital therapy has any hope of being successful.

My job as a marriage counselor begins after successful treatment and sobriety. If the addicted spouse refuses treatment, then I direct the unaddicted spouse to Alanon or some other support group for spouses of alcoholics. Sometimes, I encourage an intervention.

That's what I learned to do after discovering that an alcoholic is so much in love with alcohol, that while in the state of addiction, there is no way for them to consider their spouse's feelings whenever they make decisions, a necessary condition for a great marriage. Alcohol always comes first, even when it is at the spouse's expense.


I can imagine that drugs are included when he says "alcohol" in the last 2 paragraphs.

You need to know what you are working with and that I why I posted what I did.

committed

Adding the link right to the page...

Harley's position on addictions and codependence
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Another H email - 11/14/07 03:16 PM
Hi cal,

Thanks. I am trying to get him help somehow with this problem. I talked about it to HR when I spoke with them last week.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Wired Wednesday - 11/14/07 07:22 PM
I am so wired right now I feel like I am going to jump out of my skin.

I was on the phone with the process server, making sure that OW is served AT WORK. We talked about a few other things then said goodbye.

My attorney called at 9pm, (not sure if I mentioned this already,) and he was working on the subpoenas. So they may be served even before Friday.

I am nervous and jumpy.

I checked email after talking to the process server and H had emailed thanking me for letting him know what arrived in the daily mail.

Then he sent the password for our AOL account as we discussed. He said he didn't change it and this could be true because our account was hijacked last month when someone accessed H's ATM/debit card number and charged tickets on an airline that is based out of Florida...and it doesn't come anywhere near Texas.

Los Angeles, New York, and the rest of the flights of this airline are other countries in the general area.

I didn't know about this when it happened. I would have thought it was H. Turns out he thought I was running away and calls me asking me about it when he found it on our account.

We now know that the person who stole our info worked for a check cashing company and stole a lot of people's info. They are still investigating but did refund our money.

Anyway, AOL could have been on that card, I don't remember now. Our satellite bill was and it was behind and shut off because it was on the card. So I don't know if H changed AOL or it was on the card.

Please forgive me if I repeat myself...I am just wacko wired here!

Anyway, between H's emails and anticipating OW & OWH being served very soon, I am getting close to basket case territory.

Anyway, just wanted to share the story here.

Thanks for reading, IF you manage to make it all of the way through this post!!
Posted By: Dobie Re: Wired Wednesday - 11/15/07 04:03 AM
You're doing so well.

Is there anything you can do or any friends you can call to work through some of your anxiety?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wired Wednesday - 11/15/07 04:32 AM
Hi Dobie,

Thank you!

I feel a lot better now. No racing heart & brain. No jitters and anxiety about those subpoenas.

I got busy doing some stuff and I did talk to a friend for a while. It helped. I feel better now and I know I'll somehow find the strength to get through that hearing next week.

I'll just hide behind my lawyer! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: Wired Wednesday - 11/15/07 05:18 PM
No charlotte update today.....I am already having withdrawls....I miss her quick wit and quirkiness.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: Wired Wednesday - 11/15/07 05:26 PM
Yeah, I miss coming on here and not seeing those updates.

Hope everything is well with you Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 06:33 PM
Thanks for thinking of me, surviving and mbm69. It makes me feel good to know there are others out there who care about my plight.

Now, on to the juice:

I just received a call from the process server. OW has been served. At work.

She signed, he said when asked. She is NOT a happy lady.

My response? Well, good. I'm not either.

I guess she didn't realize there are different prices you have to pay for infidelity: dealing with the pain you inflict on others, being a louse, and a legal price. Oh, and lest we forget...your REPUTATION at work and elsewhere...and the disgust in the eyes of your coworkers.

Anyway, that was my little vent.

I'm sure H has gotten wind of it by now. Not a peep from him, though.

Do you think he thinks I'm bluffing now?

I'm betting OWH is eating her words on that one. AGAIN.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:01 PM
Good job, bet she'll think twice before getting involved with a married guy again!

Is she being subpoenaed as a witness at your temporary hearing or did your attorney bring her in as a third party?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:04 PM
Thank you!!!!

That's what I'm thinkin' princess meggy! Maybe some other person won't have to go through what I went through because of her actions. And H's actions of course.

I hope she's kicking herself for ever getting involved with my H and she kicks him to the curb. I'm sure she never thought that this little placid runt would have the b*lls to fight back!!

She is a witness at the temp hearing. As is OWH.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:32 PM
Quote
She is a witness at the temp hearing.

Oooohhh, what I wouldn't have given to be given that opportunity! I would have slipped in a few zingers for my attorney to ask her on the stand to prove her "character", i.e., isn't it true that you had sexual relations with your downstairs neighbor in your bed while your 6-year old daughter slept in the same bed? Isn't it true that you were stopped by the police after you kicked your oldest daughter out of the car after picking her up from school and were found to be drunk? (These were just two of the things that were in sworn affidavits in her divorce file, there were many more!) (She was a socialite in our town to boot. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:36 PM
Sounds great, princess meggy!

Wanna come?

I've been thinking about asking my L if he wants a list...he might ask me, though. I might do that but whatever the case, I'm gonna let him have his head.

Humiliation is the key. I don't care what he asks her. It's not my humiliation to be borne. It's hers. And H's.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:50 PM
Now back to earth. I seriously doubt that a Judge would have allowed those types of questions to be answered at a hearing (maybe at trial but not a hearing where's there's only a Judge). He more than likely will allow questions to prove up squandering the marital assets, plans to desert, adultery, etc.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 07:58 PM
Hey, works for me! Will my attorney be able to impeach her testimony with the evidence? Or will he have to ask "trick" questions? Will he even be able to use the evidence?

Can she take the 5th?

I know they discussed opening a bank account and I have it in print.

H admitted to me that he opened a bank account but when I asked if it was with OW, he said no. I don't believe him. She was worried about any "legal" ramifications of opening a bank account.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 08:04 PM
Now we're talking a whole different animal. There's more latitude when asking rebuttal or redirect questions once the door is opened. He can bring in the evidence if it isn't outside the scope of the rules of evidence such as hearsay, etc.

No, she can't take the 5th because this is a civil matter, not a criminal matter.

The evidence about the bank account is GREAT because that proves what his intentions were.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 08:32 PM
Alright!!

Thanks, princess meggy!!

I feel even better now!
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 08:42 PM
Good Going Charlotte. WOW.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 08:45 PM
Thanks Big K!!

That's what I'm sayin'....WOW!!!
Posted By: Longhorn Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 08:53 PM
Forgive me, but I couldn't find anything in your thread about what the OW or OWH would be testifying to. Texas isn't one of those states still having an "alienation of affection" law still on the books, unless something's changed recently. Can you educate me please, Charlotte?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 09:19 PM
That there was an adulterous affair. I can't remember the precise term my L used. I thought he mentioned the "a of a" but I can't remember...my head was spinning.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 09:23 PM
But in Texas (even though it's a no-fault state) adultery can still be used as a "grounds" for divorce and can impact the final division of property.
Posted By: Pariah Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 09:39 PM
As in Georgia.

My wifey thought that she could get away with a no-fault divorce and was proven disasterously wrong.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 09:57 PM
No fault.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHA!!!

Good for you, Pariah.

(Hey, that's the first time I've ever typed "bwahahahahahaa." I don't know if I spelled it right, though!!)

Consequences of adultery. Take heed...future adulterers!!!!!
Posted By: Longhorn Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/15/07 10:30 PM
K. Well, I'll just sit quietly and wait for future developments. Hang in there lady.

LH
Posted By: MicheleG Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/16/07 01:28 AM
WTG Charlotte!!!!!

I'd love to know what OW is thinking about you now!
Posted By: mitzie Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/16/07 01:32 AM
Charlotte,
I just read your whole thread. Wow, what an inspiration you are.

You are so strong, stay that way.

Kudos to you!

Mitzie
Posted By: mojodiva Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/16/07 02:57 AM
I think I've found my new hero.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/16/07 03:33 AM
Thanks so much, you guys! I'm sitting here trying to watch Criminal Intent and trying not to think about H. Already cried a few times.

Then I check in here and here are all of you with all of your support and encouragement. I don't know what or why or how I ended up here or who was responsible, (but I have a good idea!)

I know I'm doing the right thing for me, H and our marriage if it's meant to be. It just gets a little overwhelming sometimes and I miss him even though he treated me so shabbily.

Well, he can't avoid me forever so I'll at least have a few more chances to Plan A the heck out of him.

He's so screwy in the head now he's probably thinking who am I and what happened to his wife?

Well H, I'll tell ya' what happened to her. She came back. You'll recognize her as soon as you wake up and smell the river.
Posted By: RIF Re: NOW Charlotte has an update!!!! - 11/16/07 05:24 AM
Hey Charlotte!

You're doing great!!! I'm here on the Night-Shift if you can't sleep...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 05:37 AM
OWH moved out of his & OW's home, which is owned by her parents.

So now the infidels can carry on at their leisure.
Posted By: RIF Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 05:45 AM
Quote
So now the infidels can carry on at their leisure.


...and along with your GREAT exposure, they will soon find that playing 'house' together isn't all that it's cracked up to be!

You're doing great Charlotte! Try and get some rest tonight...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 05:55 AM
Well, I hope you're right, RIF. OWH hopes for reconciliation but is unsure at this point so he's taking care of himself and moving forward. OW has been crying to him and going on about things.

She asked him if I am calling him all of the time and he said no, maybe once a week or so.

She said something to him about me being crazy or something and he said, "Actually, she's pretty reasonable."

Dang straight.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 05:59 AM
They used to trash me so bad it's pitiful. You should see some of the things that they said about me. Even OWH said that he was upset because they were laughing at me about something, I have no idea what, and neither does he, since the switching screens thing was so common with H and OW.

What kind of carp is that to build a relationship on? I found a folder that H kept of our correspondence when we were dating. We wrote to each other all of the time.

We declared our love, we talked about lots of things. But we NEVER trashed another person in order to further our relationship.

Maybe I don't want this person back in my home and in my life.

I don't know anymore. Maybe it's time for Plan B. I don't think I can take much more.
Posted By: The_411 Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 06:04 AM
I think he's getting ready to crack. I know it seems so rough and just when you think you can't take another step .... somehow your feet keep lifting up one right in front of another. your H is starting to see you as a sane strong passionate woman and realizing that the OW is a bit cuckoo. Everyone here is behind you!
Posted By: RIF Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 06:11 AM
Hey Charlotte,

One of the main questions that I kept asking Mrs. RIF early in our rebuilding was did she and any of the OM talk about me or did she compare me with any of the OM...

Mrs. RIF always said that they never talked about me and that she never compared me with any of the OM... Was she telling the truth? I may never really know.

I DO know that typically, a WS will trash the BS because that's the only way that they can justify what they are doing... it's sort of a 'name it an claim it' approach... They SAY bad things about the BS, so that makes things right with the OW/OM... Twisted thinking in my mind...

Quote
Maybe I don't want this person back in my home and in my life.

I don't know anymore. Maybe it's time for Plan B. I don't think I can take much more.


You are the only one that can decide what you want. Rebuilding is painful... and you are in a very painful phase right now.

I do think that your exposure is working and your H will eventually snap out of his selfish way of thinking... If you feel that going to Plan-B is in your best interest, then by all means, you need to protect what love you have left for your H...

I never went to Plan-B, so I'll leave it up to the 'experts' to help guide you...

I think you're doing great and IF you can hold out in Plan-A for a little while longer, I think that things will turn around...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 06:11 AM
Thanks, 411. I'm trying. I really am.

And they still have the investigation at work hanging over their heads. There's no telling what's going to happen with that.

BB informed me that their company goes "by the book" when it comes to this sort of nastiness in the workplace.

I was really headed for a nervous breakdown when everyone started pushing me harder to expose. I don't know how close I was but it was close.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 06:15 AM
Thanks RIF. I'll try. I know that hammer's going to fall at work soon.

I still have my Ace card since I have the name and contact info of a high level exec. I don't know if I'll need it but it's nice to have it.

Tomorrow, (well, it's today now) I have to talk to HR again re: the affair and other issues with H over there.

They might both end up canned. But can you imagine having to work in such an environment? OWH told me again about the people there being fed up with H & OW's behavior and carrying on.

If I worked there I wouldn't even want to sit down on anything.

EEEEEEeeeeewwwwwww!!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 06:29 AM
Hey Charlotte,

One of the things that I share with other's here is that your feelings are your feelings... you can't change them... but when it comes to rebuilding, it's better to focus on the FACTS...

The facts are:

* You've done a great exposure
* You pretty much KNOW what your WS and OW are going to do from learning from other's experiences and reading all about it in the WS Handbook.
* You FEEL like giving up... and that's OK to feel this way
* Exposure IS working

Again, I'm not trying to talk you into anything that you don't want to do... I just know that based on what you're sharing with us, I think that it's just a matter of time (a couple of weeks at the most) before your WH comes to his senses and comes back home.

It may be shorter... it may be longer... but eventually, I really do think he will come back and ask for a chance to rebuild the M with you.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 07:06 AM
Quote
The facts are:

* You've done a great exposure
* You pretty much KNOW what your WS and OW are going to do from learning from other's experiences and reading all about it in the WS Handbook.
* You FEEL like giving up... and that's OK to feel this way
* Exposure IS working

Thanks for all of your wisdom, RIF. You're right. I DO need to think about the facts. When OWH told me about everything, I thought about the WS handbook.

But of course, you don't want to hear about things like OWH moving out and the A continuing, even though you knew it wasn't really over.

I'm not going to give up yet. You made me feel better about this. I might even be able to sleep now.

I may stay up a little while longer but I think I really will be able to sleep.

Of course there's no telling how long. I might show up with another freaky dream!

Remember: H.R. Puf-n-Stuf...who's your friend when things get rough...H.R. Puf-n-Stuf...can't do a little 'cause you can't do enough...(at least I think that's how the chorus goes!!)

Yeah, I'm messing with you, trying to get that song stuck in your head!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 07:09 AM
I still love this part:

OWH: "She said something about you being crazy...blah blah"

OWH: "I told her, actually, she's pretty reasonable."

BLAM!!

That statement just about made my night in spite of the other stuff. But I know: "Just the facts, Ma'am." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 08:14 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I'm not "wise" by any stretch of the imagination! I wish that I'd done HALF as good as you've done...

You see, when I found out about Mrs. RIF's "first" A in 1988, I didn't expose to anyone... I did talk with my CofC and they all told me to dump her. I didn't have MB back then, and I didn't know how to handle the pain, so I just basically acted like "it never happened".

Mrs. RIF went on and had several more A's while we were overseas and I didn't find out about them until Dec of 2000 when she confessed the rest of the 'unknown' A's.

I found MB in 2002 after we'd been in MC for a year... our MC plus what I learned from the MB site really helped us move forward with rebuilding.

I try to share what has worked for us and what hasn't so as to help others make their way through this process.

So if anything that I've shared with you helps, then all of the credit goes to Christ... Because HE is the main reason that Mrs. RIF and I will be celebrating our 21st wedding anniversary this coming December!

All the best to you and your H Charlotte... with your commitment and determination, your H doesn't stand a chance! He'll be knocking on your door before long and you guys can start rebuilding your M.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/16/07 10:39 AM
Quote
I still have my Ace card since I have the name and contact info of a high level exec.

You rang my bell?????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Hi Charlotte,

Just checkin' in to let you know I've been away on vacation...still am...but I thought I'd encourage you a bit.

Keep venting and keep posting your pain and your endurance will increase as folks respond. That's one of the beauties of this board.

Ace
Posted By: ManInMotion Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 12:15 PM
Quote
Mrs. RIF always said that they never talked about me and that she never compared me with any of the OM... Was she telling the truth? I may never really know.

She probably was. My FWW mentioned the same thing. I think it's part of building/reinforcing the A-bubble: don't bring in any external stuff (like talk about other partners) into the bubble as it might burst. And of course the OM was likely not going to encourage such comparisons anyway.
Posted By: RIF Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 12:28 PM
Thanks MIM - Our MC said the same thing to me... took me a while to wrap my brain around it though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte - How are you doing this morning? I hope you got some sleep last night/this morning....
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 04:06 PM
Quote
.
Maybe I don't want this person back in my home and in my life.

I don't know anymore. Maybe it's time for Plan B. I don't think I can take much more.

Charlotte, I believe this new shift in you is going to make it more likely that your WH will pursue you with desperation and passion. You are no longer needy or desperate. No victim, but an Amazon warrior.

I visited another marriage recovery site for awhile during my H's EA. It was owned by Michelle something. Anyway, a concept they discussed was "charging neutral." I never really understood it and to this day I don't comprehend it, but it might be what has happened to you/what you are now doing. Does it sound familiar?

Anyway, bla bla bla, here goes more: You have a plan and you are following it. They don't dictate your present or your future. Things have blown up in their faces, God is laughing at their hopes and dreams, and in the chaos, you took control. You're steering the car now.

I'm seeing a marvelously executed Plan A, and the results of exposure in ending the affair. So is your H and his "thing". Their lives were smooth, their affair floated in a pink cloud, supported by secrecy and BS's ignorance.

Now OW does not get to play the blushing fiancee showing off a new diamond ring. Her co-workers saw her being served papers, and word will spread like wildfire that she's having to testify about her affair and her actions.

If your H moves in to the OW's house, it will really put the kibosh to the whole thing. And there you are, safe at home, and not even sure you want someone like "him" in your life. You really are in a powerful position.

Yay!

edited to add:

If you are getting close to not wanting him back in your life, it could be time for Plan B. I never did Plan B. I tried to Plan A so long, that I lost all respect, admiration, and awe for my WH. His A killed my soul.

Why not post a thread about Plan B, and ask those who have been in it for advice? [Or post on this thread, I don't know.] I know you and Melody worked together on a letter, but since you are still in communication with your WH, does that mean you aren't in Plan B?

I'm really out of my element with this part of marriagebuilding. My expertise is in what happens when you don't expose *sigh*
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just talked to OWH - 11/16/07 04:18 PM
Hi Bellevue!

Thank you for your support and encouragement!

I think I'm going to need a little propping up to keep me in line over the weekend, I hope you and others are checking in once in a while.

I am going to visit a friend maybe all weekend, I'm not sure yet.

But I'll sure be checking in...and hope to be able to sleep a little bit this weekend.

I don't want to have Gucci bags under my eyes when it's court time!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Plan B - 11/16/07 04:21 PM
Well, so far I'm still in Plan A but haven't heard much from H of course. Email exchanges and that's about it.

I don't want to lose what love I have left for him but I'm not really ready for Plan B yet and others have chimed in to try and wait a little while longer.

I guess it would make sense to wait until after the hearing.

I'm sure H will want to come by afterwards for some of his stuff unless he's too stressed out.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Plan B - 11/16/07 04:24 PM
That is the beauty of MB. What one poster is ignorant of, others are experts about!

I hope you enjoy the change of scenery this weekend. If you come here, there will be lots of MBers, without a doubt.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine NOW it's Freaky Friday! - 11/16/07 07:35 PM
Here is a message I received from H. We had exchanged a couple of emails earlier...then he came back from lunch and popped in with this gem:

Beats ***** I guess. You'll have to let me know when there is something worth transferring from paypal, because I don't get in there very often. I did see the bank account is already - $60 in the negative and I don't know how much the check your work was for or when it will go through, and I guess they'll slap that $35 chargeback per day as well. You've stirred up quite the hornets nest, and so I guess you want your pound of flesh (it's understandable) but Divorce is now getting to the level where probably neither of us will recover a comfortable life style. I'm likely to lose my job and when that happens, bye-bye insurance, so if at all possible you should try to get some of this stuff done while you have it, and while it's free or almost free. I was going to run out this weekend with the planet of the apes and a tupperware thing, and pickup my MRI data but my lawyer advised me not too. It's not that I want the bank account to go under, but I'm afraid in the end, it will. H
Posted By: MicheleG Re: NOW it's Freaky Friday! - 11/16/07 08:33 PM
Quote
You've stirred up quite the hornets nest

Quote
Divorce is now getting to the level where probably neither of us will recover a comfortable life style

These are consequences of his A. Don't own any of this. He must have that 5000w fog machine going full blast trying to blameshift this all on you. Sheesh...the mind of a wayward.

Steady and strong in Charlotte's Plan A...
Posted By: AmIok Re: NOW it's Freaky Friday! - 11/16/07 08:45 PM
"Hi, Honey. Thanks for the e-mail.

I think that there really is one way that we can BOTH recover a comfortable lifestyle. I don't want a pound of flesh. I just want my husband and my life back.

Planet of the Apes this weekend sounds like fun, I haven't seen that in forever! How about Saturday at about 5? You bring the movie and I'll cook (something he loves)."


Don't get into the other arguments. He's just baiting you into a fight. Trying to prove to himself and the rest of the world how awful you are and how justified he is. Give yourself a chance to plan A him, and let the lawyers slug out all the financial details.


JMO .... and I'm not one of the pro's, and didn't have a great Plan A, so take it all with a grain of salt. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

-AmI.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: NOW it's Freaky Friday! - 11/16/07 10:32 PM

Translation: You've exposed my horrible behavior at work and I am starting to realize just how expensive a D would be. As a matter of fact, I am just realizing how much my behavior may cost us-and I want to make you feel bad so make sure you take care of any medical stuff "while it's free" Did it work? Did I make you feel bad?


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: NOW it's Freaky Friday! - 11/16/07 10:43 PM
LOL!! Good one, johnstwin!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Thanks everybody!!

Please keep it coming!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine OK, how's this: - 11/16/07 11:13 PM
Hi H!

I don't know what you mean when you are talking about a hornet's nest? Are you talking about the one under our eaves?

I hope your weekend goes well and I'll see you soon!

Love,

Wife
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Also adding: - 11/16/07 11:23 PM
It's too bad you won't be able to make it out this weekend. DS, DIL & GS are coming over for a homemade fried chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and gravy and all the fixin's!!

And we still need to go on that bike ride! Perfect weather!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Also adding: - 11/17/07 12:17 AM
His attorney advised him not to? Has he "answered" the petition?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Also adding: - 11/17/07 12:19 AM
I have no idea princess meggy. I think he is still p.o.'ed because OW was served yesterday.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H letter - 11/17/07 01:25 AM
At Melody's urging, I sent H a heartfelt letter in email since I will likely not see him until Wednesday.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H letter - 11/17/07 04:03 PM
H will have the weekend + 2 days to re-read your letter to him, and your email, and to fend off frantic communications from the OW. ("help me, help me, look what your wife did!") She isn't looking at all attractive.

And you are being so NICE! So assertively self-respectingly NICE!

Could he be hinting, fishing, for you to rescue him from the mess he created now? I think he's scared. It's sinking in what the real consequences of his actions are. He knows what he has to do to stop the D.

I can't say for sure whether the fog is clearing, but if it hasn't yet, it will very soon.

Best quote: "You've really stirred up a hornets nest." HA HA HA HA BWA HA HA! He cheated on you and YOU stirred up a hornets nest! Somebody's getting stung, Charlotte, and it ain't you. Why, you should have just stuck your butt in the nest opening and took it like a man. Yep. and once the nest cracked, why you should have spread your body over the hornets nest to keep them from flying away. Yep. And then, you know, hornets eat dead meat. The nest could have stripped your corpse to the bones and lived off of it.

How selfish of you to allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.

Dang, I envy you and admire you.
Posted By: schoolbus Re: H letter - 11/17/07 10:34 PM
"You've stirred up quite the hornets nest, and so I guess you want your pound of flesh (it's understandable) but Divorce is now getting to the level where probably neither of us will recover a comfortable life style."


Wow. He's on the ropes. This is your opening, and I don't think he realizes what he has said to you here.

Read it again.

He isn't blaming you. What he says here is that you have exposed the affair, and people are really talking about it.

He knows now that everything is in the open, and that hornet's nest is buzzing around HIM. He sees that.

And the next sentence tells you that he knows whose fault it is. He says IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE. This is the crack that shows he knows whose fault this whole thing is, and he is actually asking you a question here.

Can you forgive me?

Could it be possible, that you want a pound of flesh, but is is also possible that you could forgive me? You see, the use of parenthesis in this sentence is the TRUE MEANING OF THIS SENTENCE. Don't miss it, Charlotte.

He is asking a question here, and telling you something in the same breath. He is saying, he understands that this is his fault, and wondering if there could be forgiveness if he gave you the pound of flesh.

You need to let him know that there would be forgiveness. Do it quick, while he is wondering this. Do let him know.

The musing about divorce getting to the level that you both would end up never recovering has less to do with money

than it has to do with love.

And I don't think he even realizes what he said.

Not yet, anyway.

Maybe if you pointed this out to him by way of a return message????

Let him know that your "recovery" would be less difficult if he came home. And there would be no need for any divorce talk, attorneys, or anything like that.

And that the "pound of flesh" isn't necessary, but other things could be discussed in making amends.

And that yes, forgiveness is possible.

But not unless the other woman is gone, and NC starts right away.

And instead of waiting to lose the job, he just resigns, and you both move somewhere, maybe. Easier than waiting to be fired. Something to consider.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: H letter - 11/17/07 11:26 PM
SB
Amazing...I'm always so amazed at your interpretations.

Charlotte...that's great advice.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine My letter w/H's responses - 11/17/07 11:58 PM
Dear H,

I just want you to know how hard your affair with OW has been on me. I am in the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life. And you know I've experienced a lot of pain in my life.

The pound of flesh you referred to in your last message has been removed from me many times over. I have no desire for revenge. I want all of this to be over. I am ready to move on with my life and try and get over this pain. It will not be easy.
Quote
I understand that you want to get on with your life. I want the same. But, having people supeonaed seems to indicate that you or your attorney do not "just want this to be over". I wonder if Court TV will be there....

We lived a peaceful life before and I miss it terribly. Yes, we were in a bad phase before your affair took place, with my illness and my addiction, among other things, but like everything else, I was confident we would make it through together as husband and wife and family and things would get better. They always do.

We have weathered many storms over the years and our seaworthy ship had been getting stronger with every storm.

When I knew for certain that you were having an affair with OW it hurt me very deeply and I didn't think I would ever be able to function again. I was devastated. I never thought the man I loved with all of my heart, body, mind and soul would ever betray me in such a fashion.

I need to know what you are going to do about your affair.
Quote
Why do you need to know? Well be divorced soon.
When is it going to be over? Your affair has hurt many people besides me, your wife, and that includes you.

The kids are absolutely flabbergasted that you are having an affair with OW. They are very worried about you and DS25 is afraid that cheating is hereditary and he is VERY scared. He needs to see you and talk to you.
Quote
He can talk to me anytime he likes. He also knows my email address.

It is hard for me to stay in the place we made a home because every nearly every corner contains something special we gave to each other or things we had great fun shopping for and buying for our home. All of the pictures of us in happy times bring nothing but sorrow now. It feels like someone in the family has passed away and almost everything is a trigger to great emotional pain. I tried to watch Columbo the other day and all I wanted to do was call you and tell you to come over and watch Columbo with me.
Quote
Yes, I can understand that. I'm sure you can understand it's not a lot of fun not having a home either.

I still love and care about you more than you can imagine right now even though you have hurt me so badly. I just want the pain to end but I'm at a loss as to how to accomplish this. I miss you, my sweet H. I wish I could see your beautiful countenance right now so some of my pain could be alleviated somewhat.
Quote
Hopefully you are with your friend **** having some relief.

With all of my love,

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H letter - 11/18/07 03:17 PM
schoolbus,

What constructive posting! Excellent. I'm tempted to remove my post, because of my sarcasm and spite and negative bent.

I'm going to have to pay more attention to your posts.

Charlotte, aren't you glad now that schoolbus is still here? She really gets the "builders" part.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 05:26 PM
Hi Bellevue,

Yes, I am. I'm hoping she pops in to analyze H's latest ramblings that he sent yesterday.

Oy!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H letter - 11/18/07 05:27 PM
Charlotte, could you tell this lady how to install webwatcher on her H's computer? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3338973

Good morning! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 05:31 PM
Good Morning, Melody!

I'll see if I can help her...I'm on the way now...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H letter - 11/18/07 05:47 PM
Thanks, friend!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: My letter w/H's responses - 11/18/07 05:51 PM
Quote
I understand that you want to get on with your life. I want the same. But, having people supeonaed seems to indicate that you or your attorney do not "just want this to be over". I wonder if Court TV will be there....

Quote
Why do you need to know? Well be divorced soon.

Quote
He can talk to me anytime he likes. He also knows my email address.

Quote
Yes, I can understand that. I'm sure you can understand it's not a lot of fun not having a home either.

Quote
Hopefully you are with your friend **** having some relief.

Sheesh, he totally ignored your pain, a good sign that he's still a wayward. He's still ticked about you filing for divorce and wants you to feel sorry for him. Charlotte, you CAN NOT take these words to heart-- they were deflections.

Who did he mean "your friend"? OWH?

It's up to you whether you want to continue to Plan A when you get the opportunity or go to Plan B. I'll let others advise you there since I've never done either the MB way.

(((Charlotte)))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 06:00 PM
You're very welcome, Mel!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 06:05 PM
Hi princess meggy,

Thank you for putting things into perspective. I know you and Melody are right about this but it is just hard to read and absorb and accept, still.

The comment about not having a home didn't bother me much, though. He knows he's the one who didn't come back that day after I exposed to OWH.

The friend he is referring to is someone from the boards...you know who she is! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

In one of the emails of Friday I mentioned that I wouldn't be home much this weekend because we'd made plans. I didn't want him to think I'd be home pining away for him.

I did have dreams last night and he was in the dreams but I don't recall much except for one, barely. They weren't ominous, though, I do know that!
Posted By: schoolbus Re: H letter - 11/18/07 09:30 PM
Charlotte,

The comment about Court TV is his attempt to communicate that he is hurt by the openness of his affair. He feels like everyone is watching him, and knows all about his life. He has lost his privacy - and this hurts. He is humiliated, and the publicness of the exposure is giving him shame. He wants you to know that he has pain over this - and the pain is shame. Not necessarily what you want to know; you'd rather he have guilt over having the affair, etc. Right now, he has shame. At least there's that.

He's angry that she was served publicly. He sees that as you seeking revenge against her, and he thinks this is HIS fault. He doesn't want to hold her to blame. WS thinking, foggy still. He's trying to protect her right now. But he's confused, some, because he's trying to explain to you in the next sentence that he does want to talk to you about reconsidering the divorce....

"why do you want to know?"

He is asking AGAIN about divorcing you...he isn't sure, Charlotte. You haven't told him in very simple terms that you want to stay married. I think he is a simple-terms kind of guy.

So send him a simple-terms kind of message:

I don't WANT to divorce you.
I WANT to stay married.
I WANT to save our marriage.
I CAN get over this.

Then, ask him if he wants to try.

Keep your communications short and simple. His comments to you are pretty much sarcasm, but they read through with some air of fear. He's hurt and looking for a clear opening to come home. That's why he said this:

"it's not a lot of fun not having a home".

It isn't a pity party he's after.

He needs to understand FOR SURE that you can forgive him.

Tell him in no uncertain terms you can.



Be positive and upbeat when you talk to him. And LISTEN when he talks to you. Do less talking, more listening. He's afraid he's lost right now. Give him a chance to come home. He's foggy, but that is normal. The sarcasm is his way of trying to sound like he's in control. But it also shows his fears - because there is a lot of truth still in it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 09:40 PM
Hi schoolbus,

Thank you so much for analyzing H's response.

I will mull this over to see if I can come up with a good message to convey this...or I guess I could just put it to him with the simple sentences in your post!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: schoolbus Re: H letter - 11/18/07 09:59 PM
Charlotte,

I would say, try to limit what you have to say to about five or six sentences.

Finish with "I love you".

And then listen. When he's done talking, restate your five or six sentences, and leave him with that. Don't get into a back-and-forth match, because you have ONE thing to say to him:

"We CAN rebuild this marriage."

Don't get ANY OTHER MESSAGE to him but that one. He has to know you believe it, or he won't.

SB
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 10:13 PM
Hi schoolbus,

He called me a little while ago but I haven't yet calmed down enough to return the call.

He didn't leave a VM.

Charlotte
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H letter - 11/18/07 10:27 PM
Quote
So send him a simple-terms kind of message:

I don't WANT to divorce you.
I WANT to stay married.
I WANT to save our marriage.
I CAN get over

SB, I agree very much about this and had her send him a short letter saying this the night before he was served and then again the day after. My biggest concern is that he will believe it is OVER because of the divorce and because she has a tendency to NOT communicate her pain. She was acting like everything was NORMAL. My concern was [is] that he won't believe she can forgive him.

So I think yours is an excellent suggestion to reinforce that message in very short, concise bullet points. He is very foggy right now, but he reads ALOT, so I think this written reinforcement of her message will have an impact.

Also, PM, I am the friend he refers to in his letter. Charlotte and I speak throughout the day, everyday, and she came to my house yesterday.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H letter - 11/18/07 11:11 PM
I guess because I pushed it aside for so long that the pain became a way of life for me and I haven't yet been able to tap into it again to let it all out.

I am trying. It does come. I just try not to think about where he is and what he is doing to much because I don't want to hurt anymore.

I know I have to let it out. I had some success on Thursday night and Friday...I was able to let some of the anger out so it wouldn't come out in inappropriate ways.

I guess I have been the "Ambassador of Peace" for too long. I had to take on that role in a previous crisis in our family and I can't seem to quite shake it.

I am working on it, though.

I haven't yet returned his call though I am calmer now. I will call soon. I think I will send him a letter first, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H phone call - 11/19/07 12:14 AM
I finally calmed down enough to return H's call. All the cards are on the table. Again.

The ball is in his court. Again.

Now I will see if he calls me and wants to talk before the hearing.

I covered everything that Melody and schoolbus advised me that I should do.

Thanks, guys.

This wimp was going to not bring it up but I took a deep breath and dove in anyway.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 12:18 AM
WTG Charlotte...you are brave. You are NOT a wimp!
Posted By: SunShine78 Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 12:57 AM
Charlotte, you poured your heart out on the last email and his reply seems very casual and somewhat cold. He could be back with the OW. Have you called the OW's husband to confirm if anything has started up again?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 01:05 AM
SS, he IS with the OW.
Posted By: SunShine78 Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 01:10 AM
Quote
SS, he IS with the OW.

How are you so sure? Did I miss something?
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 01:12 AM
Uh-oh.... she's baaaaackkk?? And I'm not talking about the OW.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 04:17 AM
PM, I think you're right. It's baaaack.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H phone call - 11/19/07 04:27 AM
SS is the reincarnation of BestAdvisor/ShortBus. Trolling the newbies again. What a sick, cruel SOB.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H poem - 11/19/07 03:13 PM
I wrote a poem for H last night and after waffling a bit, I sent it.

He wrote back this a.m. telling me it was a nice poem and that it looked like I had spent a lot of time on it.

I wrote back and thanked him, telling him that it was already in me, I just opened the floodgates and let it out.
Posted By: RIF Re: H poem - 11/19/07 03:21 PM
How are you doing this morning Charlotte?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H poem - 11/19/07 03:25 PM
Hi RIF!

I'm doing okay at the moment. How about you?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H poem - 11/19/07 03:27 PM
chiming in to tell you there is every reason to hang in and to have optimism, Charlotte. Time is working its magic, you are working your magic, and Harley methods are covering you. MB posters are cheering for you like crazy. I am so hooked on your thread, so heartened by your successes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H poem - 11/19/07 03:33 PM
Thank you, Bellevue!

I'm hangin' in there to fight the good fight! The fight against evil! Infidelity! I am going to keep running into battle and when I am tired from fighting and can't stand up anymore, I am going to stand up and fight some more!!

BTW-Have you ever seen The Fisher King? Oh, man, that's probably my favorite Robin Willams movie...as well as my favorite Jeff Bridges movie (though Starman was is up there, too.)

I just started thinking about it a few minutes ago and I can see how elements apply to WS situations!

Here's a bit of song for ya'...

"I like New York in June...
How about you?
I like a Gershwin tune...
How about YOU?!!"

Yes, little gremlin is trying to get a song stuck in everyone's head again!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: H poem - 11/19/07 03:54 PM
Quote
I'm hangin' in there to fight the good fight! The fight against evil! Infidelity! I am going to keep running into battle and when I am tired from fighting and can't stand up anymore, I am going to stand up and fight some more!!


That's the spirit!!! You're doing great!!!

It's only a matter of time now until your H returns... keep up your great Plan-A! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H poem - 11/19/07 04:00 PM
Thanks RIF!!

10-4 on that!!

I'll go way back in childhood for this one:

I am, "The Little Engine that COULD!!"

I think I can, I know I can, I can...I CAN!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Lawyer - 11/19/07 11:05 PM
Well, I'm back from meeting my lawyer. I'm okay so far. I don't know how bad off I'll be on the morning of the hearing. I was thinking about posting my IM name here so if anyone wants to say hello, I'll have it on my phone but the phone on silent during the hearing.

I'm gonna need you guys!!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Lawyer - 11/19/07 11:08 PM
I have been trying to call you all afternoon but either get "system busy" or a fast busy. Can you try calling me at home?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lawyer - 11/19/07 11:12 PM
Ok, Mel.

Thanks.

Nothing from H since this a.m.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine If - 11/20/07 02:25 AM
If I can file a suit against the OW...should I?

Would it be TOO much?

Slander, defamation of character, mental cruelty, emotional distress, etc.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: If - 11/20/07 02:28 AM
I'd be all for turning up the heat on that witch.
Posted By: Longhorn Re: If - 11/20/07 02:43 AM
For my money, anything that turns up the heat in Fantasyland so that emotions over there begin to boil is a good thing. Having to hire an attorney to answer a lawsuit is a chilling thing to have to do. Itā€™s not part of warm, fuzzy hugs, loving glances, rosy pink clouds and cotton candy and just everything wonderful. Fantasyland begins to develop rough edges and cracks, through which a cold, harsh reality begins to peek through. Cold and harsh are good things to happen to a Fantasyland.

Were I you, Iā€™d smack her with everything I had in my armory.

Sheā€™ll blame you at first, but that will quickly change to questions going something like ā€œā€¦why did I ever get involved with this married guy to begin with?ā€

And so, Fantasyland died a horrible death and the adulterous pair came back to earth to live with what they had done. The End.

LH
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 02:44 AM
Thanks, Big K!!

Hey, I saw a picture of you and your wife! You two make a great couple and your kids are darling!
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: If - 11/20/07 02:53 AM
Awwwwwwwwwww Thanks Charlotte.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 03:12 AM
Welllll, it's true!! And you're welcome!

Tell Mrs. Big K I said hello from Texas!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 03:15 AM
I'm starting to feel depressed. I guess this is it for H and me. I made the mistake of looking through the correspondence between us when we were dating and after.

I read the beautiful story he wrote to put in the paper after our wedding.

All of the beautiful cards he made me, special occasion or not.

Big mistake...looking at all of that.

But I was looking for "our story," the one he used to tell me almost like a bedtime story.

I feel like crap.
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: If - 11/20/07 03:22 AM
Charlotte,

Those fond memories can make you sad, but they can also carry you through this. He wasn't acting when he wrote those things. He hasn't won any Oscars, has he? Those times can still return. Hang in there. You've been doing all the right things, it just takes time and the effects are cumulative rather than an explosion.

As much as he is fogged out right now the day will come when he will remember those things too. Protect what you have left for that day.

Mark
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: If - 11/20/07 03:24 AM
I agree with Mark. This is a long way from "it"

"It" isn't over till YOU say it is.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 03:33 AM
Thank you, Mark. And thank you, Big K.

I know you guys are right.

I just feel so overcome with despair right now.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: If - 11/20/07 03:39 AM
{{{{{{{{{{{{Charlotte}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Posted By: RIF Re: If - 11/20/07 03:46 AM
Quote
I'm starting to feel depressed.


Hey Charlotte!

...and what did I tell you about feelings?? They're just feelings...

Now, focus on the FACTS!

You're doing great! Don't let your feelings get in the way of the great job that you're doing!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 03:48 AM
Thanks, Melody.

Here's how screwed up I am. My lawyer is a handsome fellow. Now I must avoid him so I don't develop a crush on him.

Knight in shining armor and all of that jazz. I think my brain is just looking for distractions so I don't think about H.

I never called that weirdo that's been stalking me by phone. At least he didn't call today. Gee, what the heck do I sound like by phone?

I was trying to call HR when I misdialed. I had my HR voice on.

I was so jumpy because of that I brought my grandpa's shotgun home with me. Now all I need is some rock salt.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 03:49 AM
Thanks, RIF! You're right...

Gee, I hope you still like me after you read the post I just posted to Mel.
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: If - 11/20/07 03:59 AM
Goodness you are funny Charlotte. Your husband is a [censored].
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: If - 11/20/07 04:05 AM
Thanks, Big K!! You made me laugh with that one!

And you are SO right!!

You just busted on out there with dumb*ss!!

ROFLMAO!!! (at least for a little while!)
Posted By: The_411 Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/20/07 04:12 AM
There are going to be days where you will you'll just feel down. It's a rollercoaster but everyone here thinks you're in a very good spot. Based from what I've read your H is getting towards the end IMHO. He's still holding on for dear life but almost all the shady cover he had has been stripped away. Not much left to cover the A up. Keep up your great work.

Wish my WxGF was even talking to me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Keep your head up Charlotte - 11/20/07 04:15 AM
Thank you, 411!

I have seen little glimpses of Jonesy.

And he did like the poem I wrote for him last night.

I guess the big, overwhelming business of the hearing is just getting me down.

Just as well. I don't want to be all chipmunk peppy on that morning. I am probably going to throw up.

I'll be lucky if I even sleep tomorrow night, I guess.
Posted By: The_411 No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 04:30 AM
giving others support helps me feel better and gives me strength. Granted, I'm too much of a giver, but here giving support is a great thing.

Yeah legal matters really make things difficult and nerve racking.

I'm contemplating writing a legal demand letter to my WxGF but I've been wrestling with the decision for 1 1/2 weeks. Oh well might as well go 2 or more!

He's peeking through and the OW is getting crazier which means she's holding on for dear life.

Property of inverse force. When you spin something that is tightly wound it tends to fly farther away. Your H is doing the discus and she's about to be jettisoned far far away.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 04:38 AM
Ahhhhh...I love that vision, 411!

You're a great giver!!

I can't wait to see it, even if I only hear about it...

Me to H: Come on, Jonesy!! You can fight off Mr. Gray!! Remember: I Duddits!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 04:41 AM
Oh yeah, nearly forgot.

I wrote H an email a little while ago thanking him for taking care of our account and inquiring about his health and that I hope he is eating right and taking care of himself.

He is SO bad about junk food when I don't feed him.

I don't expect to hear from him tonight and likely won't tomorrow, either.

I'm sure he's still trying to digest the amount of money my lawyer is going to request for spousal support.

It equals out to about one of his paychecks a month. Gee, that'd be more money than I've had to take care of bills since I don't know when!
Posted By: RIF Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 05:47 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Remember, when you talk with your H, keep saying "I don't want a divorce"...

Right now, you're the "Good Cop" and your lawyer is the "Bad Cop"... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 06:32 AM
Hi RIF!

That's a good analogy. I didn't think of it in the GC/BC terms before.

How 'bout Good Terminator/Bad Terminator? Returned from the future to fight infidelity for the good of man & womankind and save H from a fate worse than death....

I get to be Arnold!! Hasta la vista, Baby!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 10:01 AM
Hey Charlotte,

"Terminator" sounds great!!! As long as you're talking about just terminating the A and not the OW! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, you're doing great!

I hope you're getting some rest tonight...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No problem Charlotte - 11/20/07 03:37 PM
Thanks RIF! I did get a little bit of rest.

Yes, terminate the A and OW's reputation. But she terminated her OWN reputation. She slept with a married man.

And the A is now mortally wounded...struggling along bleeding profusely from many, many wounds...

It's lifeblood is almost drained away. Soon now. Very soon... It will end.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Today - 11/20/07 03:44 PM
Well, not a peep from H. I guess he's still p.o.'ed about spousal support. Way too much for him, I'm sure. But I have the house to take care of. Taxes, repairs, I need new tires, the A/C needs to be fixed in my vehicle...etc.

I'm not going to hold my breath that I'm going to hear from him at all today. Will I hope? Yes. But I'm going to try my best not to think about it.

I did a bit of shopping yesterday. I saw the cutest pair of ankle boots...so I picked them up. After hemming and hawing at the register for a bit I said the heck with it, I'm buying them. So much of our money has been wasted on that trollop I can have something nice sometimes.

I also got some new lipstick that H would LOVE, nail polish and some hair adornments. Yeah, I know, lot's of girly-girly stuff for a Terminator!

Still have to get some documents gathered for my lawyer. I told him I'd drive them over.

So that's the Tuesday morning report. I have also been thinking about when to go into Plan B.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Today - 11/20/07 03:52 PM
Plan A-ing = taking care of yourself. girly-girl stuff can be considered part of your weapons cache ..........
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 11/20/07 04:13 PM
Hi Bellevue!!

You're right.

I didn't see it that way... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Today - 11/20/07 04:32 PM
Charlotte,

Assuming one of your H's top ENs is an attractive spouse, as is the case with MOST men, making yourself drop-dead gorgeous is a powerful weapon.

Pursuing the analogy of the terminator here briefly...

Part of what made the terminator such a powerful weapon, according to the movie, was that it LOOKED like something that was attractive, that is, a person, though it was really designed to kill people. So people felt safe around it, allowed it into their hiding places and once inside, it was able to destroy those very same people.

As it applies to your situation...

By being as attractive as possible physically, it will cause your H to be less attentive to defending himself and by so doing allow you into his life in ways that he doesn't even expect. This gives you an opportunity for you to do serious Plan A stuff, not least of which is simply "lookin' good." Make him slobber all over himself when he's with you and it makes OW less attractive all together. When Plan B starts, it gives him a memory of you he will dwell on often.

Of course you also have to balance that with guarding your own heart and mind to shut down attention from other men who will also find you irresistible. When your own ENs are not getting met you are especially vulnerable...Just a warning that goes along with being a hottie...Protect your boundaries while trying to break down his misplaced boundaries.

Mark
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 11/20/07 04:49 PM
Hi Mark,

Thank you for the great advice! I wasn't even thinking about the "blending in" of the Terminators...I was just thinking about the BANG POW ANNIHILATE KA-BOOM!

Thanks for bringing that part up.

You're right about H. And Mel says I'm WAAAAAAAAYY more beautiful than the skank. I have to agree. Of course, her actions make her even uglier to me.

I'm going to wear a dress that H & I shopped for together, with matching shoes that took FOREVER to find but H was determined that day. It's a gorgeous royal blue. I will look like a Real Lady. (Who'd a thunk it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />)

The last couple of times we were actually together and talking in person I could feel that *SPARK* which was part of what brought us together...I know he felt it too. I could see it.

I wasn't imagining things. Nope.

I've been listening to a favorite song lately that I haven't listened to in years. The chorus is:

"The world weighs on my shoulders,
But what I'm I to do?
You sometimes drive me crazy,
But I worry about you.

I know it makes no difference,
To what you're going through
But I see the tip of the iceberg
And I worry about you."

Yep, very apt. The whole song, actually.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine A funny - 11/20/07 06:36 PM
I have to share this before I forget about it because it is funny, although it wasn't at the time.

Last night I was thinking about this incident that happened with H.

One day H came home from work. He had a stomach ache and I told him to please close the bathroom door because the rest of the house was becoming inundated. It was way worse for me because after the affair started for some reason my sense of smell became super acute. I could smell the rubber from car tires when they drove by on the road and all sorts of other things that were driving me nuts.

There were a few times when H came home and I could smell perfume. Of course he had a BS excuse like, "Someone sprayed a lot of cologne and I had to go and walk right through it...blah, blah, blah."

So comes stomach ache day. I asked him to close the door, etc. Well, later on he was talking to OW and he's telling her that I was complaining that I smelled her perfume and it was bothering me.

And the whole time it was the scent of his scat!

Kinda puts things into perspective.

Not long after I stopped smelling perfume so I guess she stopped wearing it. Of course, I held my breath when doing laundry because I didn't want to smell anything anyway so I'm not altogether sure about whether she stopped wearing it or not. UGH!

I also stayed away from him after work until he changed so I wouldn't smell it on him if it was there. UGH!
Posted By: Dobie Re: A funny - 11/20/07 07:02 PM
It's somehow poetic that her perfume could be confused with foul bathroom stench.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: A funny - 11/20/07 07:06 PM
Ain't it, though? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: A funny - 11/20/07 07:08 PM
Gives new meaning to "eau de toilette". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dobie Re: A funny - 11/20/07 07:08 PM
The other interpretation could be that he thought his "stuff" didn't stink.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, H called - 11/20/07 07:08 PM
But he just wanted to verify the location of the courthouse. He was driving somewhere and our connection wasn't that great.

Anyway, so's the day.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, H called - 11/20/07 07:13 PM
Do you think he called just to rattle me?

He knows where the dang courthouse is, it's a small town, for Pete's sake!!!
Posted By: The_411 Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 08:09 PM
Calling someone for something that you know the answer to is an excuse to talk to you. Why? A desire to do so and trying to gain more information. It means he's thinking about you. I'm not even going to delve into the WS thought patterns beyond that.
Hi 411,

Thank you for your words of wisdom.

I thought as much. I really didn't know what else to say and the connection was bad so I didn't attempt to initiate any other communication beyond confirming what he already knew.

Good. He's thinking about me. He oughta be. I'm Batman. I'm someone who rattled the cages...

Meanwhile, I'm plenty rattled myself!!

Dang! I shoulda let Dino Martino answer the phone. I have him on my answer tones. The song? "Kick in the Head"
Holy Terminator, Batman, it's Charlotte!!
ROTFLMAO, Going Forward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 08:22 PM
Just remember the 3 C's, Charlotte

Calm, Cool, Collected

Remember you're in control as you're not in an A.

Those in an A aren't in control,..... clearly <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
He has an attorney and he calls YOU for directions to the Courthouse? ROFLMAO... thinly veiled excuse to yank your chain IMHO. Forgettaboutit. Carry on. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
You're right, 411. I AM IN CONTROL!!

Hee heee heeee heeeeeeeeeee!

I know, princess meggy! That [censored]!!

I am so gonna kick his but 9 ways to Sunday when I get him here alone!!

In a fun way, though! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 08:38 PM
Quote
Good. He's thinking about me. He oughta be. I'm Batman.

I'm Batman? You crack me up!!!!!!!LOL

Charlotte, you sound like one heck of a character. For someone going through such a terrible time right now, it amazes me that you can bring a smile to people around you. You're a gem!
Thanks Michele G!!

I'm glad I can help bring a smile to someone, I've always loved doing that. I don't know how on Earth I'm able to do it now but I guess my spirit hasn't been squashed to nothing after all!

P.S.) I really AM Batman, you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
And see, this is the kind of thing H always loved about me. He'll never, ever have it with her.

EVER!

He'll know soon enough. I think he knows already.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 09:56 PM
Quote
P.S.) I really AM Batman, you know!

LOL!

Charlotte, I believe no matter which course your WH takes, your personal recovery will be reached and your spirit will NEVER be squashed! You have way too much of it!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 10:07 PM
Quote
P.S.) I really AM Batman, you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Does that mean you like to "hang out" in dark caves...and have all sorts of special tools...a cape and cowl.....oh and a cool utility belt...gotta have one of those. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

cause if your batman I get to be catwoman <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 10:13 PM
C22:

You mention this:

"And see, this is the kind of thing H always loved about me. He'll never, ever have it with her."

He "always" loved what?

Your ability to make a joke?
Your ability to see funny things in life?
Your ability to manage situations cheerfully?
Your sarcasm?
Your Quick turn of the phrase, so that it was hurtful to him?
Your ability to think quickly and "get" him first?

He "always" loved what?

Why do I ask?

You did an excellent exposure routine.

Your attempting Plan A.

So what happened in your Relationship?

What was the relationship like in the beginning, and what do you think started to go wrong?

Lets explore that.

Ok?

LG
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 10:44 PM
LG I'm not sure I understand where you got this:

Quote
Your sarcasm?
Your Quick turn of the phrase, so that it was hurtful to him?
Your ability to think quickly and "get" him first?

from this:

Quote
I'm glad I can help bring a smile to someone, I've always loved doing that

Quote
And see, this is the kind of thing H always loved about me.

I'm baffled.
Thanks, Michele G!!

I sure hope we can save that fool, H, though!

'Cause right now he's headed DOWN!!! All the way DOWN!!!

Hellhounds on his tail!!
Hi LG,

Quote
Your ability to make a joke?
Your ability to see funny things in life?
Your ability to manage situations cheerfully?
Your sarcasm?

All of the above...but on the last one we are talking about funny sarcasm...not anything that hurt H. Funny sarcasm about certain situations, etc. that had nothing to do with us personally...politics, celebrity gossip, etc.


Quote
Your Quick turn of the phrase, so that it was hurtful to him?
Your ability to think quickly and "get" him first?

Yes to quick turn of the phrase but never, ever directed at him. Same with thinking quickly.

Our relationship never had the elements of sniping at each other trying to hurt each other. We were never that way at all.

The only sniping that went on started when he started his affair with OW. You can ask Mel about that. She's seen the chat logs.
Me either, MicheleG...'cause that wasn't where I was coming from at all.
Yes, yes and yes, surviving!

How intuitive of you to know not to ask to be the "other" sidekick...since that's the name of OW!!!!!

You got it!!

How did you know?
I sent H an MP3 of the song that has been around me for the last few days. The lyrics are so apt because I AM worried about him.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Sounds like an excuse to talk to you - 11/20/07 11:04 PM
Quote
Yes, yes and yes, surviving!

How intuitive of you to know not to ask to be the "other" sidekick...since that's the name of OW!!!!!

You got it!!

How did you know?

I have always thought of myself being part cat.....and catwoman is so...those femininin whiles and independance....bad a$$....I love her...I even used to have a black cat named isis after her cat....she kicks [censored] and takes names...nuff said. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

she fights at batmans side but is her own woman....I'd fight by yer side any day lady <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Woo-Hoooooo!!

(I'll give you directions to the courthouse...) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

In all seriousness...Thank You, surviving!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, - 11/21/07 05:32 AM
Here it is almost midnight and I'm still getting ready for court. Sleep?

What's that?
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Well, - 11/21/07 05:45 AM
Awww Charlotte...I wish you were able to sleep...I'll be saying prayers for you about court...Just wanted to let you know that I'm still here and reading...Not posting much because you are in such GREAT hands...I know that "personal coach" of yours to be quite the DYNAMO!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Big Hugs to You Friend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, - 11/21/07 06:13 AM
Thanks Mrs. W!!

I really appreciate the prayers!

H is going to walk in and wonder why the air feels so foreign. He will be influenced by prayer and not even know it...

He might catch on fire!!
Posted By: Orchid Re: Well, - 11/21/07 08:16 AM
Hi Charlotte,

Sending support from the middle of the big blue. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

The 'smell' technique was what I used on the WS also. His sense of smell was warped and the calculator in his brain didn't work. Boy the A sure does mess up a person. LOL!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Well, - 11/21/07 01:17 PM
{{{{{{{{{{Charlotte}}}}}}}}}}

You can do this.....we're all here for you, even those of us who read your thread but don't post too often.

Looking forward to your update.

Ace
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Well, - 11/21/07 02:35 PM
Good luck and God Bless, Charlotte! You will do great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dobie Re: Well, - 11/21/07 02:51 PM
Good luck, Charlotte! We're all rooting for you!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Well, - 11/21/07 03:00 PM
She is there now!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Well, - 11/21/07 03:51 PM
Wow! Thanks for the update Melody. I'm sitting here grinning lopsided. Yea and wow.

Her H is about to be hit with prayers he doesn't know about, MB posters, special personal marriage coach Melody Lane, and the woman he married, aka Batman.

It won't be long now.

I'm betting he'll be home before Christmas.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Well, - 11/21/07 03:57 PM
Charlotte, wow. You're going to do fine.

Re: Batman? I have always loved bats. This is a threadjack, but the thing about caves and etc. - well, when I was 9, my stepfather came out to me in the backyard with his hands behind his back. Said "I want to show you something, but I don't want you to be afraid." I said "What? Show me." and he brought his hands forward. Cradled in them was a small, dead brown bat. I never saw anything so adorable.

Reached for it, he pulled his hands back and told me not to touch it, because it could make me sick, but I could look. To this day their wings, the little tiny claws, the faces, the contrast between the furry bodies and the smooth skin of their wings, just warms my heart.

I used to swim at night in my in-laws pool in Texas, floating on my back, and watching winged creatures fly over head. I used to hope they were bats, and that they would come and dip into the pool for a drink. It was always so dark I could never be sure whether they were birds or bats.

Friends sent us a bathouse to assemble and put up to attract them. We did, but birds nested there instead. Finches. Go figure.

Batman, I'll be checking the thread later to get an update.

Everyone, I'm so happy for Charlotte22.
Posted By: RIF Re: Well, - 11/21/07 04:17 PM
Hey Charlotte,

Sorry I missed you on the Night-Shift... I was outside the wire all day today.

I'm praying for you!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Court update - 11/21/07 05:37 PM
They came in the same car. Hers. How sick is that?

I wouldn't have known but OWH told me.

The infidels didn't have to take the stand. H agreed to everything my adorable lawyer put forth. And he can't remove any of his collection and sell it, either. A third party is going to inventory the collection and he can move it out then, but he can't sell it because that would be part of the settlement later.

I had to leave the room a couple of times when we were in with our lawyers because talking about doing this and that with our stuff and dividing it, etc. really got to me. My lawyer came after me to make sure I was okay. So H watched another man go comfort his wife. Hope he enjoyed the Effin show.

I argued with H's lawyer a couple of times because he kept making little Snidely Whiplash comments. I couldn't help it.

I did not shed a tear when we were in front of the judge. OW and OWH were in the courtroom for that.

I might add that Miss Charlotte put that sorry [censored] ****** to shame in the looks department. On my worst day I still look better than her. Slut.

I talked with OWH and my lawyer and I were always sitting very close together and he put his arm around me a few times for comfort. He was also my blocking mechanism because they were on the right and we were sitting on the left (when you face the bench) so I wouldn't have to look at the two sickening adulterers sitting on the other side.

What the h*ll is wrong with people?

Dang, my lawyer is cute. If it wasn't married I'd probably date him. I don't know if he's married. He doesn't wear a ring but I'm not looking now, anyway. I'm just sick that those b*st*rds would actually have the gall to come in the same car.

OWH told me I deserve WAAAAAAY better. He said he is still keeping his options open but he has no plans to file for divorce at this time. I know he still wants her.

He made a comment about that b*tch having two men at her beck and call, etc. and that it wasn't that way now. He wasn't going to be abused in that manner. Good for him.

He said OW thinks that she's automatically invited for the holidays, etc. And that she has another think coming.

He said he had to hold back laughter because in the agreement H asked for a couple of his DVD collections and when he heard "Stargate" he had to stop himself because he didn't want to bust out in front of the judge.

When we were in the little room together and that came up I just said, "It's just stuff."

When the tv came up I complained a bit but that's just because I don't want anything moved around and disturbed in our home. I complained about H's dresser because we were antique shopping together when we purchased that item.

I don't know how my lawyer put up with me when I went after H's lawyer but he said I did really well. He said it was nice to represent someone so nice because he doesn't get to do that very often.

H's lawyer is a balding little anal retentive man while I have a passionate Italian. Ha! Who's the romantic here?

I don't know what to do. I feel like going into Plan B but I can't do that until H comes and gets the rest of his personal items.

This is so sick. How could they? That is so low. I felt so bad for OWH and then he told me that OW said she had mail in the car for him. I told him not to go over there. I told him he was a good man and he didn't deserve to be treated that way.

He said OW has lost her mind and I told him he was exactly right about that. (okay, I'm crying now. Kick me in the butt.)

OWH said that OW's greatest fear is the Jerry Springer show.
Hmmm. Should I? I would do it. I have nothing to be ashamed of. At the very least I could write them or call them and they could call her and put the fear of God into her, ain't it?

They left the floor first and we waited upstairs. But then they were still sitting there after OWH and I finished talking to my lawyer. They were still in the parking lot, OWH said. What the heck? Did they want to see if we walked out together?

I didn't look at them. When I pulled out after talking to OWH for a bit I popped on the Sopranos intro and pealed out. Lucky for me the cop that was in line didn't mind!

So now I am at home trying not to drink until after 12pm.

I don't know what to do about my H and his scummy behavior. I wish I COULD Plan B right now. That was a big draw on my bank. Because of the hurt it caused me and the hurt to OWH.

Those lousy jerks. Geez.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Court update - 11/21/07 05:45 PM
I told my lawyer to delay as much as possible and at the same time I have to question my sanity at wanting to work things out with someone who would do something so trashy.

I know it's not Jonesy but really Mr. Gray, but still...
Posted By: Dobie Re: Court update - 11/21/07 06:08 PM
You're way too classy for Springer. Maybe Dr Phil.
Posted By: The_411 Sigh - 11/21/07 06:09 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this Charlotte. It sounds like a terrible ordeal.

However,

Remember the general rule to not date for two years after the D.

My impression is that since the OWH was still meeting EN needs for her she doesn't completely understand the impact of a D until he yanks the chain.

Your H may just need to live with the OW for a a period of time before realizing how screwed up she is.

The problem is your LB maybe too overdrawn by that point to allow him to reconcile.

Time for a dark dark dark Plan B. Work on you. Improve yourself for you and continue to come her for strength and understanding.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Court update - 11/21/07 06:16 PM
Thanks for saying that, Dobie!

I know you are right but if she fears Springer so much I may have to lower myself to her level. For the show, not an affair.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:21 PM
Hi 411,

Thank you. You are right. The more crap I take from him the more I don't want to go on. But I don't really want to give up now, either, in spite of the hurt inflicted upon me and OWH.

I'm not going to date anyone. Cute as my lawyer is I know it would be a teetotal disaster. It makes me wish BB had recommended a female lawyer but my lawyer is really good and he's a good human being so I really can't complain. I just have to keep myself from developing a crush on him.

I won't see him for a long time so there won't be anything to develop.

Of course, I'd love to do that just to get back at H but it would be very unfair to the other party involved and I'm not going to break my vows so even thinking about it is insane.

I'm just upset and mixed up and screwed up and "pick your adjective" right now.

Do you think I could Plan B and still go through the process of H coming here to get some belongings?

I HATE this!

Maybe I should just tell him to go to ****** right now. Unfortunately I'm not ready to do that even though this hurts SO much!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:34 PM
Yeah. I guess I'm a sicko too. I let my lawyer be too close to me when I shouldn't have but I didn't care at the time because all I could think about was how much H hurt me.

So if my lawyer wanted to comfort me and sit close to me and let our legs touch and put his arm around me and so forth I didn't really care because of H hurting me and yes there could be an attraction between my lawyer and me if I let it happen but I'm not going to do that.

No matter how hurt I am right now. I am so screwed up.

It hurts so bad. I'm not going to try and contact H in any way. How lousy of him.

How lousy.

I think I am losing it.

Sometimes I think just to heck with it.

I know my lawyer is being paid to do his job but if there are fringe benefits, fine.

I'm not going to do that, though. If it came down to the wire I know I couldn't and wouldn't do that. It would just bring me down to the level that those sorry POS infidel MF'ers are.

When am I going to stop crying?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:36 PM
I can't believe I still love that sorry POS. I am going to call my lawyer and thank him for everything in a little while.

I am losing my mind.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:41 PM
***HUGS*** I am so proud of you tho for how you held up.....want catwoman to scratch there eyes out for you?
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:43 PM
Charlotte, try to calm down, he ain't worth the tears anymore. Driving in with that wayward POS was reprehensible. Ask your attorney if you can sue OW for the misuse of marital assets your WH spent on her. I'm sure you know about how much he spent, and half of that amount belongs to you.

But you should do it soon, cause the little lovebirds may be unemployed shortly. Take care of yourself. GF

PS There's NO crying in the BatCave!!
Posted By: The_411 Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 06:48 PM
Charlotte everything you're going through is natural.

I'm glad you're realizing that dating the lawyer would be a mistake. Having a revenge A or post D hook-up is never a good idea because it doesn't resolve your issues but merely makes things worse.

You should be angry you should be sad.

I would call Dr. Harely if you can to see what he thinks after all he's an expert.

Plan B letter imho should be given to your H when he comes over to take his stuff.

Plan B is a very difficult thing to do but remember that Plan A only works 15% of the time.

Plan B makes him miss you and for some that's more torture that they can handle.

No guarentees of course but at this point what do you have to lose? He's still in lala land with his fingers in his ears not listening to you.

It's going to be rough because Plan B makes feel like he's slipping further away. However, in actuality you got to flip that thought and say he's the one missing out! He doesn't get to have you in his life in any shape or form. He's the big loser in this case.

Just stay composed when you deal with your H. 3 C's are still key but most of all be your charming self.

You set up great memories for your H so he'll have to deal with that nbeing all he has left of you.

Not to mention he'll have to reconcile with the fact that his last memories of himself to you were as acting like a selfish [censored] with no empathy.
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 06:51 PM
((((Charlotte))))))

I'm so sorry you are in a bad way right now. Seeing them together would have been enough for me to freak out too. You handled it like the classy lady you are.

Be real careful though about your own vulnerabilities right now. Try to stay strong and to look at your objectives...personal recovery, and a chance at M recovery. Breaking your vows will not aid in either one of those. I know you know that, just thought I'd remind ya.

Plan B is very close on your horizon. You still feel some love for him, you don't want to lose it all. It may be time.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 06:53 PM
Yep, you should have a Plan B letter ready to go for when he comes to get his stuff. Give him the letter on his way out the door...and don't say anything more.
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 06:56 PM
Char,

Thank your lawyer...

And then avoid your lawyer except for when you need legal work done.

You already know why...

You are trying to talk yourself out of going ahead with it anyway...

Find someone else to comfort you...a family member or friend...FEMALE of course...

Minimize interactions with men in general until you are stronger.

You know all this already.

Decide to protect your vulnerabilities before you have a bad day and decide how you will do it too.

Plan B = Heal. Improve. Wait.

Stay above the pain and anger. Be a hero of MB...You already are one, ya know.

Mark
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 10:11 PM
Thanks Mark. I know you are right. Spock knows you are right. I must get him back into the driver's seat.

My mind is focusing on my lawyer to help me deal with the pain. Not fair to me or my lawyer.

But dang it! If he responded to me only as a client and not as a woman it would have made all of the difference!

Probably he was just trying to help but "what??!!"

No, not imagination. He responded to me as woman, and not just when I was upset.

Curse me. I am so weak. I know this would never lead anywhere and only end up hurting more people.

And me? I hardly looked at H. I was too busy looking into my lawyer's eyes.

Curses!

I am ashamed.

It doesn't matter. There's no telling when I'll see him again so I'll just be focusing on H and his sorry self.

H doesn't give a crap about me anyway.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 10:13 PM
I'm thinkin' that's a real good idea, Cathy. That and staying as far away from my lawyer as I can.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 10:26 PM
Thanks, MicheleG.

I feel that you are right about Plan B. It's just too much for me to handle with this crap.

And not just me but poor OWH. It hurt him so bad. I could tell. OWH is Italian, too. I might call him later and see how he is doing.

I wish that I could be in B right now. As it is it looks like the middle of December.

Do I want to talk to H? Right now, I could give a less crap.

Thanks to my DIL and my step-D and all of you I am able to keep going.

That sorry b******.

That's all I can say about him right now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 10:30 PM
You are right, 411.

I am trying to hang in there. I guess I forgot I was a female that was capable of attracting the opposite sex.

I won't sink to the level of the infidels no matter what.

But then what do I think? I think if my lawyer asked me out to dinner I would go.

How sick is that?

But only dinner. NO dessert!

Well, I know I'm just grasping at straws here but at least I'm appreciated. Even if it isn't by H.
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/21/07 10:32 PM
Charlotte:

Just so you don't think I'm picking on you.

What Happened in your Relationship?

That's my point.

You can stay married to this guy or get divorced. That's your call.

But in your first post, you state that your R was exclusive with your H, and seemingly good.

And here we are 69 pages and 27 days later.

What HAVE you learned about what went wrong in your R with your H?

HOW do YOU think OW got in?

Are you willing, or unwilling to investigate this?

Read LilSis's and BugsMom's threads. There first ones. AND read about what they found out.

We know around here that you are of good spirts and witty remarks. But what went wrong in your M?

I was trying to point out in my earlier post that maybe you verbal skills could have driven your H away.

Maybe? You replied that you never directed anything at him. Are you sure?

Part of MB IS finding out about relationships and some of the dynamics that occur between partners and how thier M is in the ditch.

So? What do you think?

LG
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 10:33 PM
I will, GF and thank you!

I'll stop crying. It's almost time to go out and fight evil again in the batsuit.

And my car....Wooooooweeeee!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 10:44 PM
Yes. I am sure, LG.

I was absent because I was sick. I wasn't fulfilling his EN's because I was sick.

My condition caused me to retain up to 20# of fluid per day. I would pass out at the drop of a pin...no matter if I was sitting, standing, driving or sitting on the toilet.

H was worried that I was dying. So he takes up with a slut?

That's REAL GOOD.

That's a GREAT way to handle your wife's illness.

My medication was finally regulated and I haven't had the problems I was having previously.

Well, too little, too late.

Believe me, I go over this in my head all of the time. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't control it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 10:49 PM
Please do, surviving!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 10:51 PM
Can't I send H a Plan B letter right now?
Posted By: The_411 (((((Charlotte))))) - 11/21/07 11:40 PM
The worst thing you can do right now is a Plan B letter. Not because it's not the right thing to do but you've got to take time for you. Today was very emotional and stressful and it's best to let things sit for a bit before you do anything especially when you don't think you have a moment to lose.

Take time for you right now so the emotions can ebb somewhat so you can have greater clarity of thought.

Take a break and decompress.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Sigh - 11/21/07 11:40 PM
Sure, you can send him a Plan B letter now. But it takes some planning on your part. You need to make arrangements to have somebody you trust be at the house when the WH comes to get his stuff.

But do not give him the Plan B letter and then agree to be there and see him while he gets his stuff...or it proves to him that your letter means nothing.

If you are ready to go to Plan B, then you need to be DARK. NO CONTACT. WHATSOEVER. Find an intermediary (and discuss it with them beforehand so they know what their role in this will be and make sure they understand the responsibility they are taking on), and have that person handle all contact with WH.

You need to be very clear in your PBL that you will not accept any contact from him until the affair has ended and no contact is established, a NC letter is written and approved by you, and you ALLOW him back. You must not answer his phone calls or read his emails. All of this must be handled through the intermediary.

But don't go Plan B then talk to him then go back to Plan B, or it will be completely ineffective. Just make sure you are absolutely ready before you start...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:19 AM
Thanks 411 and Cathys01,

I know you are both right. Well, I'm going to start preparing now. I already have an intermediary in mind. I am going to go over this with her tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I sent H an email wishing him a Happy T-Day and a Happy 14 1/2 year anniversary.

Then I went:

P.S.) Isn't my lawyer the sweetest, cutest person you ever met?

Nah, not really. But I was tempted.
Posted By: myfamilyilove Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:26 AM
Charlotte,

Try and get out and do something that you enjoy and will cheer you up. I know it's hard - sooooo hard. Don't rush into Plan B. Prepare well cause once you're there there's no going back. I am probably going to wait till after christmas cause I know I'll be in danger of breaking it then.

Goodluck
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:33 AM
Hi Vladie,

I will try. I will try to prepare as much as possible. As far as the holidays...well, H doesn't give a crap about me anyway. I doubt I'll see him at all.
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:34 AM
Plan B is supposed to be for you. It is to give you time to heal and recover from the grind of Plan A and preserve anything that is left in your love bank.

Part of a Plan B letter should be stipulations of your requirements to accept him back. This is why it needs a lot of thought and consideration. You don't want to set the bar so high that he can't ever hope to attain it, but can't sell yourself short. What you ask for in your PBL cannot be added to later since he needs to know what it will take from him in order for you to accept him back as your husband.

It must, of course include end of the affair, NC with OW for life and things of that nature, but could also include counseling, either with the Harleys or a MC of your choosing as well as agreement to be transparent in his day to day dealings like emails, correspondence etc. What you tell him he needs to do to be your husband is what you have to live with when the affair finally crashes, which it will more than likely do. You can't up the ante later, so get it right the first time.

Plan B entered into out of anger and frustration seldom gives you any peace. If you are waiting for him to return, that is why you use Plan B. If you are done with him, then Plan D is a better choice.

Plan B can be harder than Plan A at first because you will experience withdrawal and all kinds of emotions to begin with. But once you get used to being on your own, it gives you a chance to rebuild your own life.

And not to be a broken record, but if your intent is to move on, find someone else and live happily ever after, then don't bother with Plan B or a PBL because if you give him the option of coming home under certain circumstances and conditions, he might just meet those conditions and want to come home. Not a good thing to be in a new relationship when that happens. It happens more often than you might think, that's why Dr H includes it as part of the strategy for trying to save a marriage. If that's not your goal...go to Plan D and be done.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:45 AM
Thanks, Mark.

I feel like I need Plan B because today was such a huge withdrawal from my love bank.

And such a loss of respect for someone who would be so cold as to do what he did today. Not just to me but to OWH. It was nearly a double withdrawal because of OWH.

Okay, all kidding aside. I would not date my lawyer if he asked. Not even a dinner date. If I did that I might let him kiss me and we all know what could happen next.

I wouldn't want to hurt someone if H does come back. It just wouldn't be fair to another person. So I'll close myself up tight and not think about my sexy lawyer and not think about H either.

I doubt Plan B will affect him much anyway. He just doesn't give a crap.

This just sucks.

At least I know I am attractive and other men like to look at me and flirt with me. I'll just hold onto that, too. I never did such things with H. The barn doors were always closed to anyone else.

But H left his wide open. All of the cows and horses and chickens got out and the weasel moved right in.

I admit I shouldn't have responded to my lawyer the way I did but I did and it's done. I won't do it again.

Maybe.

Depends on if H is around or not.

Yeah, just like back in high school. Geez, I need to get a life.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 12:53 AM
I also wanted to mention that you need to limit contact with the OWH right now as well. You really shouldn't be calling him just to see "how he's doing". It is a slippery slope and your emotions are very fragile and it is very easy for things to happen that you will later regret.

Keep any contact with the OWH to a minimum and only when necessary. At this point, you know he's with the OW, so I can't imagine anything you'd need to discuss with the OWH that you don't already know.

We're all just looking out for you Charlotte!!
Posted By: believer Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 01:36 AM
So what is the next step in the whole court thing?

I know today was upsetting, but that is exactly how the WS's are. They probably thought that was a class act, showing up for the adultery hearing in the skank's car. YUCK!! But it happens all of the time.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 02:11 AM
I'm not sure but it will be a long, long time from now. My lawyer is busy busy busy.

A class act. That'a a good one. Everyone was so disgusted by that "class act." HA!
Posted By: believer Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 02:15 AM
Oh, Charlotte, they are just behaving according to the script.

My WS was not nearly as friendly and responsible as yours. Now he wants to get married again. He's driving me crazy, calling several times a day. I'm about to LB big time. And during the affair, I was worse than a piece of furniture to him.

Any news on the work front?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 02:23 AM
Hi believer.

Nope. Not a peep.

And my cutey lawyer is the best revenge today. H got to watch our not so business exchanges. So that was fun even though I was upset.

There you go bringing that lawyer up again!! My stepdaughter is like...maybe you were meant to meet him. My DIL in a text: Is he cute? My mom tells my sister how cute he is.

Oh merry-go-round. Deadly, deadly merry-go-round. Oh well, I won't see him for at least 6 months anyway. Any goofiness I have now will have worn off by then.

And H hasn't replied to my Happy T/Happy Anniversary email.

Fine. Be that way.
Posted By: believer Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 02:34 AM
Wish I'd had a cute attorney. Mine was an old buzzard.

Anyway, get on with your life while all of this is going on. I'm sure the affair will end.

Melody will have the best advice about Plan A or Plan B. In the meantime, let the affairees feel the consequences of their affair. Be sure to stick to the court agreement. Don't feel sorry for hubby and let him take stuff.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:41 AM
Hey Charotte22

Want me to send Bigfoot over to your WH and OW's place? As soon as my Jack Russell gets him cornered, I'm sure he'd be happy to help.

In all seriousness, I agree with believer-let them suffer the consequences of their choices. They already are. I'm sure there will be a very "Jerry Springer" audience atmosphere for the affair partners at work now that things are no longer "secret".
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:44 AM
I know you're right, believer. And I know I'm going to need to Plan B soon or else I'm going to lose whatever is left for H.

I'm going to talk to my DIL about it tomorrow. When I'm not talking about my cute lawyer, that is! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I just got off of the phone with H's XW. I told her what happened between me and my lawyer. I also remembered that I was going to look and see if H was still wearing his ring but I was paying so much attention to my lawyer that I forgot to look. H is in trouble.

XW told me that she bets that even though I wasn't looking at H or paying attention to him that he was sure watching what was going on between me and my lawyer. Good.

But I didn't do it for revenge or to get back at H. I didn't look at him to guage his reaction because I didn't care. I was just enjoying the moment of distraction in a very painful situation.

So I get a crush out of it. I'm not going to act on it. I'm not going down that road. I'm not going to be like the adulterers. I'm still married.

It would be an offense to God and my family if I had an affair. I don't want to set a bad example for the kids. They already have their father acting in a despicable manner. They don't need me following suit.

But if my lawyer flirts with me I will flirt back. H or no H. But I'm not going to see my lawyer alone so there won't be any flirting to talk about.

I feel better now and I'll enjoy the movie of the exchange between me and my lawyer in my mind for a little while. It's a welcome relief after so many months of crap.

And if H noticed. Good. He'll be thinking about more than his pocketbook then. He still hasn't replied to the message I sent him. He's online, too. In IM. Probably talking to that trollop.
Posted By: RIF Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:45 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Just wanted to let you know that I'm praying for you and I'll be here on the Night-Shift today if you can't sleep... It's Thanksgiving over here so...


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!


Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:49 AM
Yes, please send your Jack Russell and Bigfoot over! H hates JR terriers because he and his XW used to have one and the dog got on his nerves for some reason.

JR can take care of H. Bigfoot can take care of wh*re.

Yes they will suffer. She will suffer more because she has more to lose than him with regards to work colleagues and she also CARES about it.
Posted By: believer Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:54 AM
So what are you going to do for Thanksgiving?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:54 AM
Thanks RIF!!! Happy Thanksgiving to you, too! In an hour and ten minutes it will be our 14 1/2 year anniversary here.

I don't know how much I'll sleep tonight. I had to lie down for a while earlier because I had a bad headache. But then H's XW called so I got up to call her back.

She kept asking about my lawyer so now if I do sleep I'll probably dream about him.

Well, better him than nightmares of H's despicable behavior.

I feel so bad for OWH. I think he may end up in the hospital. He looked so bad today. Way too pale. Trying to put up a brave front while his trollop of a wife is cavorting around with H.

Her affair may put her husband in the hospital. He has MS and I don't know what happens with that when people are under stress. The other day my lawyer mentioned it, though. He was worried that OWH might have a reaction today from coming to court.

I hope he doesn't end up in the hospital. Just a month ago I was so sure that's where I would end up. In the psych ward.

Thanks again to everyone for lighting a fire under my *ss and getting me going for exposure!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 04:58 AM
Hi believer!

Last week I thought I wasn't going anywhere but now I am going to my mom's. I won't be cooking anything this year, though.

Usually I make 3 or 4 dishes and pies to boot to take over there. Mom and her friend are going to handle everything this time. H is going to be missing out on some good grub.

On top of that...DS, DIL and DGS are coming over, too. They are really starting to hate H. I'm going to talk to DIL about Plan B to see if she's open to it.

She would be perfect.

H is so gonna regret this affair. He just better hope his wife is around when it's over. She might be in Italy.
Posted By: RIF Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 05:23 AM
Hey Charlotte - Well, I'll be here all day... (except when it's time to head over to the chow hall for our Thanksgiving meal!)

Try to relax and not think about about the bad behavior... your H and the OW are still reading out of the handbook. Once reality hits them, it won't be as much fun for them.

Stay focused and don't let your mind wander to your lawyer...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 05:31 AM
Thanks, RIF! I hope you have some good grub!! Now you are making me hungry!!

I know you are right about H.

I will do my best not to think about my lawyer. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I forgot to look and see if H was wearing his wedding ring.

I polished mine this morning before court so it would be nice and sparkly.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:28 AM
I don't know why I was worrying about H answering my email. I was thinking about things a while and I realize that I really trounced him in court today.

Even though he put his trash on display and it hurt, even though the tramp didn't have to testify yet...

I SO GOT him.

The money.

The me/lawyer thing.

The restraining order extended so he can't use OUR collection to further his affair.

Oh, how he must have hated that!

At one point I had to give his lawyer credit. H was whining about photos and this-n-that and his lawyer says..."you don't need photos to survive."

Oh! Burn! Burn! Burn!

So even though I jumped in his lawyer's crap a couple of times his lawyer smacked him down at least once.

If there were any other times I didn't notice. Because of...well, you know.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone that happens to check in on this thread!!

Happy Anniversary to me and H!
Posted By: RIF Re: Sigh - 11/22/07 06:32 AM
Quote
I polished mine this morning before court so it would be nice and sparkly.


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> ...and THAT is the point of doing a great Plan-A!!!

Charlotte - Your H WILL notice... he will eventually see what he's doing. You're making yourself all nice and sparkley while he's wallowing in the mud with the OW... the contrast is obvious to everyone but them for now.

It won't be long before he will recognize what a gem you are!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:35 AM
Quote
Happy Anniversary to me and H!


You must have posted right before me...

Happy Anniversary to you Charlotte!!!

Mrs. RIF and I will be celebrating our 21st anniversary this coming December.

You hang in there... I'm sure that you and your H will celebrate many more anniversaries together too... this one might not be one of the 'happier' ones, but you WILL make it through this!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 07:56 AM
Thank you, RIF! I know you are right. I am trying to hang in there for us, for H and for the rest of the family.

I just finished a lengthy email to my bro' to update him on the sitch.

I'm not quite sleepy enough for bed yet. Maybe in a while.
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 08:33 AM
Hey Charlotte - I just got back from the chow hall... and I'm stuffed!!!

I hope you're asleep by now and getting some good rest... I'll check back in a bit.

Good night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 08:48 AM
Hi RIF!!

You are making me hungry again! I had a little etouffee that I made a couple of days ago. Yep, Louisiana shrimp, too. None of that stuff from China!

I think I might try to sleep in a few. Thinking about H. Trying not to think about my lawyer.

H could not have NOT noticed what was going on. I noticed and now I am embarassed.

I hope H pukes all day today.

It would serve him right.

G'nite, RIF!
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 09:25 AM
Good night Charlotte!
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 02:03 PM
I am here to attest that Charlotte's attorney is quite attractive - imagine Sylvester Stallone without the muscles and without the NY accent. He also has a wonderful, gentle demeanor. BUT, he is very married (or at least he was when he represented me in my D) with kids.
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 02:35 PM
Hi Brit\'s Brat!

We've got a lot of Italian troops here at our FOB... they sure do wear some skimpy PT shorts when they go to the gym! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It must be a European thing... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte - I hope you got some rest this morning and I hope you have a Great Thanksgiving!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 03:44 PM
Hi BB,

Good description. He doesn't have the SS quivering bow lips, though.

Gee, BB...I'm married too!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I didn't ask his current status. I am just glad he was there and he made a horrible situation much more bearable. I'll remember that more than the bad behavior of the infidels.

I'm betting H will, too.
Posted By: believer Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 03:52 PM
Wow, BB referred you to this guy? Does she know any hot attorneys in California?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 03:52 PM
Hi RIF!!

Thank you! I will give it my best shot.

Gee thanks a lot, you guys! I wasn't thinking about my lawyer and now I am!

He puts poor H to shame in H's current condition.

(Skimpy shorts, huh, RIF...;))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 04:00 PM
Hi believer!

Yep. I don't know if she knows any in CA but ya' never know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I don't remember meeting such a nice, good-looking attorney before...oh wait, when the airport trial was going on here and the city was suing some developers over misuse of the land they were supposed to be using for the airport...

One of their attorneys was quite handsome. He was a younger guy, though. I was on the jury for that one and the trial lasted two weeks...a record for tiny town! I was dating H at that time.

My bro's attorney looked like a 10-year-old kid that was the size of a man. I'll be he looked EXACTLY the same when he was 10. Only his dimensions got larger.
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 04:12 PM
Quote
Gee thanks a lot, you guys! I wasn't thinking about my lawyer and now I am!


Sorry Charlotte... and yeah, the Italians sure have a thing for skimpy shorts...

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 04:17 PM
That's okay! Your description was funny. I see a herd of Italians trotting into the gym in single file in their skimpy shorts!

Thanks again, RIF...hey, it will be time to eat soon!!
Posted By: believer Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 04:30 PM
Yeah, Charlotte. My attorney cost over $7,000. For that price, he could have at least been cute. Next time I will talk to BB.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 04:32 PM
Happy Thanksgiving to you too, Charlotte22.

Just checking in before leaving for Mass.

Will finish your thread after returning. Enjoy your dinner & your family. I am pleased for you that your DIL, GS and DS will be by your side today.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 05:15 PM
Wow believer! You ain't kiddin'!

Shoulda been drop-dead, younger Robert Redford gorgeous. If you like Robert Redford.

Okay, shoulda been drop-dead, sexy, Christian Bale gorgeous!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 05:16 PM
Thanks, Bellevue!

I'm glad they are coming, too!

We will have a great time!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H - 11/22/07 05:17 PM
And H knows they're coming.

H probably won't speak to me again. His money and his precious junk are too important to him.

Much more important than me.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: H - 11/22/07 05:27 PM
Hey Charlotte-

Don't give your WH any more thought.Any person who doesn't like JR's doesn't deserve your energy IMHO.

Truthfully, his thinking is all catywompus (sp?) at this point in time. The things he has had to tell himself to justify his behavior have him believing all kids of nonsense and have jumbled his values.

Enjoy the day with your family. My lawyer was a funny older woman with a tattoo on her chest. She and her legal assistant were fantastic. They let me bring my Idgie dog with me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

RIF-if you think those Italians like skimpy shorts, you should see them on the beach. Beer bellies and speedos. There's a thought!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 05:46 PM
Hi johnstwin,

Thank you!

I'm trying not to think about H but thoughts are trying to creep in anyway.

A tattoo on her chest, eh? Was it Lady Justice?
Posted By: johnstwin Re: H - 11/22/07 05:53 PM
I didn't ask to look at the whole thing..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:03 PM
Quote
Hi Brit\'s Brat!

We've got a lot of Italian troops here at our FOB... they sure do wear some skimpy PT shorts when they go to the gym! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

It must be a European thing... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte - I hope you got some rest this morning and I hope you have a Great Thanksgiving!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Where, exactly, are you? I'm looking for a vacation spot for next year and, well, your gym sounds like a really great spot!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:06 PM
BB - Do you like incoming rockets at your vacation place?
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:06 PM
Quote
Wow, BB referred you to this guy? Does she know any hot attorneys in California?

Okay, as a general rule, "hot attorneys" is an oxymoron! You see some of them look good on the outside but then you get to know them on the inside....I have dated several of my brethren and will NOT do it again! Same thing with engineers....have dated several and been burned by every last one, including my most recent burn which is still only a few days old. Now if you want to talk about the cute retired Air Force pilot who's chatting me up, well that's a different story!
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: H - 11/22/07 06:11 PM
Quote
My lawyer was a funny older woman with a tattoo on her chest. !

Just to set the record straight not all lady lawyers fit this description....I am neither funny, older, nor do I have a tattoo!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> (AND no smart alec remarks about "lady lawyers" being an oxymoron!!!!
Posted By: Brit\'s Brat Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:16 PM
Quote
BB - Do you like incoming rockets at your vacation place?

Depends on what kind of "rockets" they are!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> (Okay, I have been divorced to long and, well, some of my EN's are just not being met!!!!)

RIF, are you in Iraq? Cute pilot dude was there just before his retirement three years ago. Our Aviation group is sending a humongous amount of Holiday stuff over for you guys...I just cleared it for export Tuesday, so it should be on its way.....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:33 PM
You guys are so funny! Maybe I won't dwell on H so much today after all!

Yeah, I wish. I'll probably be a puddle of tears later.

So, keep it coming! Keep it coming!

Cute attorneys...stodgy engineers...military personnel...

Bring it on!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:35 PM
Hey BB!

I'm in the "other war".... the one that most people tend to forget. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> But I'm not complaining! hee hee, and I'm an Engineer too!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for supporting our troops no matter where they are... some of the things that these young kids are doing over here would amaze you. If anyone trys to tell you that the youth of America are lazy, then they need to come over here and see what these great Americans are doing in order to rebuild Afghanistan.

Oh, and I've been reading the "news" articles on Yahoo about how the Taliban are "taking over"... Pure propaganda!!! We're kicking their butts!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:39 PM
Quote
...stodgy engineers


Hey Charlotte! I thought we were buddies!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 06:57 PM
Oh RIF, you know I didn't mean you!

You aren't stodgy at all!
Posted By: RIF Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 07:02 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Charlotte!!!

Well, it's 2330 so I'm going to get some sleep... Hope you have a great Thanksgiving Charlotte... you hang in there OK?

You're doing a great job and your H will eventually come around!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H - 11/22/07 07:03 PM
I miss that fool. I hope he misses me.

Well, here we go...rollercoaster on the downslope...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Clearer head now - 11/22/07 07:04 PM
Thanks RIF. I know he will. It's just so hard now. Goodnight! Get some good rest!
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/22/07 07:11 PM
Quote
I hope he misses me.


I'm sure that he DOES miss you... That's why it's important that YOU go and have a great Thanksgiving day with your friends and family!

He's the one that's missing out... you have a great day today, OK??? You don't need to sit around feeling sorry for yourself... you go have the best Thanksgiving ever and when your H calls you, you can tell him about all of the fun that he's missing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Ok... I'm really going to bed now! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 10:00 PM
Well, DS and I were talking and he brought up the call he got from H.

H wanted to assure him that cheating wasn't hereditary.

DS says H isn't interested in ending the affair right now. I told him that I knew that.

So talking about H now has me thinking more about him. Unfortunately.

I told him I was going to have to cut off all contact with H soon until he ends the affair. I can't take much more of the pain.

I wish I didn't have to wait until the inventory is done here. But it IS necessary so that he won't be able to sell anything.

I just hope that it takes place sooner than in two weeks.

I want to be two weeks into B already and totally removed from this drama. No checking my email or VM for those random messages from H that don't have any rhyme or reason.

No having the shakes for 2 hours when he calls until I calm down enough to call him back.

I know B is going to be really hard but if I don't go soon I may end up in the hospital after all.

My mom asked me if I was going to bail H out of jail if he gets thrown in again. I told her I'd have to talk it over on here but I don't see how I could possibly bail him out.

Let him call OW.

See how she likes going through the process of getting someone out of jail. This is one of the things that gets to her. And H still has his court date pending.

She doesn't want anyone that has a record and there is no way H is going to get out of this without one.
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/22/07 10:20 PM
You may want to go into Plan B sooner than planned if you are losing your love for him. Right before he goes into jail might be a real good time. You are crazy if you bail him out.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 10:27 PM
Hi believer!

Nope. I'm not bailing him out if he gets pulled over and busted again. He's been being more careful about it but he tends to overmedicate when he has to call me or when he has to come out.

Except for the last time. He was clear-headed that night.

The soonest I can do Plan B is going to be after the inventory. H will be here to watch. I don't know if our lawyers will be or not.

He is supposed to take a tv, a dresser and some personal belongings. It might be the same day that he moves this stuff. I hope so.

That way I can have the letter ready and give it to him then, as someone suggested here...I don't remember who, though. Sorry 'bout that!

I guess I am in H imposed Plan B myself right now. Again.

Plan B might not affect him anyway but at least I'll be away from all of that crap.

It will be peaceful. I know I'll miss him, though. I miss him right now.

I don't want to think about him. But I am thinking about him anyway. I can't even think about my lawyer to get H out of my mind.

I had hoped that lawyer distraction would last a little longer but I guess not.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 10:30 PM
I lost a lot of respect for him yesterday after that disgusting act. It was a loss x2 thanks to OWH. His pain hurt me too.

I don't know why I even still care about H. Yesterday should have been IT for me but it wasn't.

I guess someone knows something I don't. That means Plan B ASAP!
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/22/07 10:49 PM
I know it was very hurtful yesterday, but that is just how the WS operates. We have even had some husbands bring the OW to the hospital while wifey was giving birth. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??????????????
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 10:53 PM
Oh that is TERRIBLE! I didn't know WS's did THAT too!

I'll internalize yesterday eventually. It will be filed in the proper place.

He wasn't triumphant in his exit since he was so trounced by my attorney.

BB was so funny earlier with the "hot attorneys" being an oxymoron thing!!!
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/22/07 11:09 PM
Charlotte - You really HAVE to detach a little. All BS's need to do that. If things are taken personally, it makes it so much harder. I took everything to heart at first, but after reading so much craziness here, I don't anymore.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 11:20 PM
You're right, believer. In some ways I'm getting better about that but in others not so good.

I will have to work on that a lot harder. I guess B will pretty much take care of it pretty well. So I just have to worry about the interim, I guess.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 11:34 PM
Do you think it would help me detach if I packed away mementos of us and little things around here that hurt me to look at them?

I was going to do this but I don't know if I should wait or do it before H shows up.
Posted By: believer Re: H - 11/22/07 11:40 PM
I packed up all my mementos and pictures too. They were too hurtful to have around.

Also, I cleaned the house spotless, decluttered, organized and changed everything around. When my WH came over, he didn't recognize the place.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/22/07 11:53 PM
Good idea. I'm going to work as hard as I can before H shows up.

I don't know where I will put it but I'll find a place. We are out of room in every nook and cranny around here.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 12:17 AM
I started to take down mementos already. There's a display case that we bought while antique shopping one time and it has all of our wedding mementos in it. My bouquet, the men's lapel flowers (I'm not going to try and spell that word!) Invitations, the candle, napkins, stuff from our 2nd honeymoon...and there amongst that stuff is the hood ornament from the van we had that H loved so dearly. He almost cried when we couldn't keep it or afford to fix it and had to donate it to Goodwill.

I'm like...gee...I'm not a hood ornament...I'm a living, breathing human...

I know. There I go again.

Okay then. I'll just think about my attorney instead.
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 01:38 AM
Quote
Okay then. I'll just think about my attorney instead.


Hey Charlotte!

It's Friday morning over here and I just finished my workout... Didn't see any Italians in skimpy shorts.... They normally don't work out in the mornings... I guess it's too cold for them to wear their skimpy shorts!

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm back on the Night-shift if you have problems sleeping tonight...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 02:10 AM
Hi RIF!

Thanks, I probably will have trouble again.

No Italians? Darn!

LMAO to the skimpy shorts comment!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 02:49 AM
Hey Charlotte!

The Italians don't like to get up early in the mornings... I hardly ever see any of them in the mornings.

They pack the gym in the afternoons though... that's why I usually just go running.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:02 AM
The Italians chase you out of the gym?

That bad, huh? Darn.

There goes my dream of Italians in tiny gym shorts dancing in a row as I sleep!
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 04:29 AM
Hey Charlotte,

When the gym fills up with Italians, it start to get really stuffy and smelly in there... I guess they don't use deoderant like most Americans do...

So how are you doing this evening?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:41 AM
Ugh!

I am hanging in there. Trying not to think about H and if he is thinking about me.

I am trying to mentally prepare for Plan B. And I'm packing up all mementos and pictures so I don't see them and feel pain.

I think I'm gonna have to rent another house just for all of the mementos!

It's been up and down this evening emotionally.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:42 AM
Thanks for asking, BTW!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:56 AM
Well, RIF, I am getting kinda sleepy now.

You and those doggone Italians done wore me out!

I am going to try to sleep. No guarantee that I'll stay asleep so there is a chance you'll see me later.

Have a great day!
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 05:00 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I'm sure he's thinking of you... he's in a battle right now between you and the OW...

The good thing for you is that you pretty much already know the outcome! You know that most A's end. You know that exposure brings A's to a quicker end.

You've done a great job with exposure, and you're doing a great job with your Plan-A... if you need to go to Plan-B, then by all means, do so... there are lots of folks here that can help you get a good Plan-B letter ready...

Hang in there! You're doing great!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 02:36 PM
Thanks, RIF.

Your post was just what I needed this a.m. when I woke up. I was dreaming but I don't remember the dream this time. I don't remember H being in it.

I thought it was Monday at first and then I realized it was only Friday.

I guess I'll wake up a bit more and resume packing memories away.

I'll get into Plan B soon so I can feel better. Melody told me that after a couple of weeks you feel so, so, so much better. I am looking forward to that.

And if it doesn't help H to "snap-to" I will have to live with it.

I know I will be better and that's what's important.
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 03:08 PM
Good Morning Charlotte!

Quote
And if it doesn't help H to "snap-to" I will have to live with it.


uhhh... I'd say that YOU will be fine! It's your H that will have to "Live With It" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Seriously, You will make it through this and you will be fine... You keep taking care of yourself and protecting your love for your H. It may take a while for him to 'snap out of it'... but if you're reading the WS handbook, they will 'snap out of it' at some time... especially after a great exposure!

Hope you have a great day today Charlotte!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 03:38 PM
Hi RIF,

Thanks!

I know you are right. I tend to forget that I do have power. I have power over myself and then there's the abstract power that I don't really think about or I forget about it when I'm down.

The power of true love, the power of our wonderful memories and even the bad memories. I know H thinks about this when he has moments of clarity.

He will see things all of the time that will make him think about me. And hear things. He knows that I don't want to be "just friends" with him. It's marriage or nothing.

I think when I am getting the Plan B letter ready and setting things into motion that I will do a Plan B letter for myself and hang it on the fridge for positive reinforcement. A list of good traits so I will see it and read it and remain positive.

If I can handle it I will help out on the boards whenever I can. I think I will even find an organization where I can do volunteer work and help others. I have always wanted to do this and now I'll have lots more of myself to give.

I don't know if H remembers this...maybe he does but not at this point. I was working outside the home and I had a coworker who was horribly down on her luck.

She didn't have money for Christmas with her three kids and husband. They were barely making rent. Her oldest daughter had just given birth at the ripe old age of 13.

H and I talked about it and enlisted the aid of family members to gather Christmas presents for this family. We all wrapped them up and then delivered them to the family. We put the presents on the porch...rang the bell and ran!!
(They didn't have a chimney... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )

So we did the "Secret Santa" thing and it was SO great!! That was truly one of our best Christmases ever.

Wow. I haven't thought about that in a long time.

Anyway I also must remember that OW has a LOT of pressure on her end. Her family is totally disgusted by her actions. Then they look at OWH and see how frail he is getting from the pressure of the affair and OW's vacillating.

I might be wrong but I feel that she will be the one that caves first. It doesn't matter either way. The affair is mortally wounded and it will bleed out and die.

I don't know when but it will.

That's going to feel good no matter how things turn out for me and H.

And thanks to my sweetly smiling lawyer, I know that I would be able to have a relationship with someone else someday. My heart is not dead and cold. This is good to know because for a while I thought I'd never be attracted to the opposite sex again. At least not for a relationship.

Well, I hope you get some good rest, RIF. I suspect you'll be heading that way soon enough.

BTW-my mom and I were talking last night and we would like to send a care package to your unit, if this is okay. I guess we need a list of needed supplies and contact info. I know you guys and gals probably get really homesick over there.

I got homesick just traveling to another state before so I can only imagine how it must be for ya'll!!
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 03:52 PM
Hey Charlotte!

I think putting up your Plan-B letter on the refrigerator is a great idea!

When you get your first draft ready, put it out here on the boards so the "experts" can take a look at it... You'll get some great advice and can really fine tune it so it will be ready when you need it!

Thanks so much for the kind offer to send us a care package! I don't want to put my address up here so I'll give you my e-mail address and will send it to you...

I really don't need a thing as our Sunday School class is sending over at least 2-3 boxes a month... I usually take all of the stuff over to the MWR building and share it with the other soldiers...

My e-mail address is ***removed after Charlotte received it***
Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks Justuss!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:07 PM
Thank you RIF,

I will post it when I have a good rough draft.

I have your email now so you can remove it whenever you want.

I'll send you some air freshener for the gym to help you deal with that musky Italian odor! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: H - 11/23/07 04:11 PM
C22:

What's your plan?

Your not in plan A.

You WANT to go to Plan B.

And you HAVE filed for Plan D.

So.

What do you think your Husband sees?

C22 trying to SAVE this M?

OR:

C22 running away even FASTER than he is from the M?

Get a PLAN and stick with it.

You have never made yourself a plausible alternative during Plan A.

And Plan B eliminates those mimimal efforts and replaces them with darkness.

Yea, Plan B makes it easier on you. Because you no longer have to deal with the WH.

And since I have asked you about your prior realationship with your H. And asked you to review the past, and how your M got to the point that it was. And all I got for an answer to paraphrase was: "I was sick, and he took up with a slut"

You married your Husband, who has been divorced already, 14.5 years ago.

And the M was perfect until THE THING arrived in March/April of this year.

Except when you got sick.

And that was all WH needed to find someone else.

If that's the case, then let him go.

Because, all he needed was a gate out of the M. You were perfect, and he was just waiting for the oppurtunity. This way, you can go be perfect with someone else.

I shouldn't call you perfect. I should just state, it's all your WH's fault that you are here.

Therefore, it takes the focus off of YOU and your actions during the 14 years leading up to this point.

And I'm not blaming the victim here, your WH made a CHOICE to cheat on you. But what was going on in your M before he hit that tipping point?

Your WH COULD have made a CHOICE to find this website, and state that he had feeling for someone else, and he didn't like feeling this way and HOW could he find his way back to his W and fix things?

Because then he would have listed all these great things in his marriage, that went away. Things like:

(And this is where C22 fills in HER thoughts about what SHE thinks her H may have found GREAT.)

I would like you to explore and come up with 10, but I will settle for three.

And while you are at it, you can create YOUR list. Of the things that were great in the beginning, and then went away.

Lets try to get to what went wrong in your M.

And then see if we address those things, that we could present a proper PLAN A to your H.

And then see if we could have a REAL effect on your WH.

But, that would be a plan, wouldn't it?

And if your really interested in saving it, Call the Harleys. THEY can give you a plan.

And NO! I'm not picking on you. NOBODY on this thread has seriously asked you to examine the past of your M and how you got to this point. And I find that rather surprising. But, no matter. I think that you need to do this, to clearly set your goals for the future into place.

LG
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 04:52 PM
Well LG,

I have discussed this at length with Melody.

All of the ups and downs and ins and outs.

I have been doing Plan A. I can't do this anymore and H is not talking to me right now so I don't have much choice, do I?

I Plan A'ed the best I could under the circumstances. H has my letter. He's been told numerous times by me that I don't want this divorce.

What else can I do? If you think I've been doing everything wrong then I guess I'd better just forget it right now and throw in the towel.

I've been told I was doing the right things and making the right moves.

What am I doing wrong?

Is this all an illusion?

Melody has been guiding me along this path and I am not getting this negative crap from her that I am from you.

So I don't know what to do now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 05:04 PM
Okay. So I suck, then.

I wasn't there for my husband even though I tried to be when I was sick.

I wasn't there enough so he found someone else.

Fine. I give up. I don't delay the D and follow-through with it as quickly as possible.

I don't protect myself anymore. He's slagging around town with her so why can't I?

I'll just go out and find a rebound romance right now to make me feel better about myself.

I'll have a big bonfire and burn all of our memories...even our wedding photos. Everything.

I sell everything I can and run away to Europe, which was something I contemplated in the beginning because I didn't think I would even be able to live in the United States because Anywhere, USA was too close to H.

Is this better? Yes, I'm upset. If you are trying to push me over the edge because you think my situation is hopeless then you are doing a great job.
Posted By: ManInMotion Re: H - 11/23/07 05:08 PM
Quote
Okay. So I suck, then.

I wasn't there for my husband even though I tried to be when I was sick.

I wasn't there enough so he found someone else.

Fine. I give up. I don't delay the D and follow-through with it as quickly as possible.

I don't protect myself anymore. He's slagging around town with her so why can't I?

I'll just go out and find a rebound romance right now to make me feel better about myself.

I'll have a big bonfire and burn all of our memories...even our wedding photos. Everything.

I sell everything I can and run away to Europe, which was something I contemplated in the beginning because I didn't think I would even be able to live in the United States because Anywhere, USA was too close to H.

Is this better? Yes, I'm upset. If you are trying to push me over the edge because you think my situation is hopeless then you are doing a great job.


Charlotte, just a question: was that an example of the approach you might have taken with your H when he was arguing with you or irritated over something you might have said or done?

I'm not trying to push you further over that edge <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. I'm just trying to find out how you've previously dealt with your H in a conflict situation, that's all.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/23/07 05:15 PM
Morning C22 (nice nickname).

I know you have Melody as your guru and you have the Boardes as further support. But don't throw lg's questions out with the bathwater. Either your H is a shallow pond with no character, in which case all it took was your illness for him to wander, or there are things to consider in the relationship that in hindsight can appear clearer.

Like, did you see selfishness in your H's behavior? Was there a habit either of you had of not checking with the other before making plans?

Just examples.

I know that when I got the "ILYBNILWY" speech on D day i had to look at all that I took for granted, and all my selfishness. I also had to look at the signs through the years that my H truly did not want to make the walk down the aisle, but I pushed him when he faltered. I had to look at how I encouraged his friendship with the OW in such a stupid, Flower Child way.

Of course, the topper was that I did not expose the affair. I waited so long that I lost any willingness to fight for our marriage. You, C22, have not made THAT fatal error. I am drawn to your thread because I see a success story in the making, and it helps me to see you doing the right thing.

Take time to read all the posts (except for those by Trolls) and consider whether anything in them can be useful. It there isn't anything, put your energy into what you have been, which has and is having positive results.

I believe your H is tantruming right now. Bring the OW with him to court, driving together, is part of it. It will pass.

Happy day after (urp)
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 05:17 PM
Charlotte, you are doing the right thing, so don't worry. Lousygolfer, Plan A is only supposed to last around 3 weeks and she has been doing an excellent Plan A for longer than that. She knows exactly what problems were present in the marriage that led to this, her illness and his DRUG ADDICTION. Because her H plundered their bank account, she was forced to file for D.

So, don't worry about her, she is doing the right thing. As soon as he gets his stuff, she is going into a very dark Plan B as we had discussed previously. But be assured, she is doing an outstanding job of mananging a very bad situation. Just stick to the plan, Charlotte, you are doing great. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/23/07 05:20 PM
I wish you guys wouldn't post so fast. I composed mine, then 3 more appeared before I could hit the click button. Please, I can't think that fast!
Posted By: mbm69 Re: H - 11/23/07 05:24 PM
I don't think what LG posted was meant to push you over the edge. I think there were valid questions...

I think that if you do want to become a better person in this whole process, it's important to answer some of those questions. I know it's difficult, but it will have to be addressed at some point or another in time. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I really think it would help you if you had a phone consultation with one of the Harley's. I understand you have a great coach behind you, but it would be some additional arsenal for you. I know, that even though I had a lot of help here, my phone consultations with Jennifer were as important.

You are doing very well C22, but I'm wondering if a plan B might be too soon right now. I'm wondering if you might need to work it a bit longer... just another opinion.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 05:32 PM
Ok, y'all first off, she has spent so much money defending herself in court that she likely can't afford counseling. And since she has a sound plan in place, there is not much reason to do so AT THIS POINT. Her H is a practicing drug addict, which means that Plan A needs to very, very limited. We have done certain things, such as giving him a "plan A letter," so to speak in order to soften the blow of the D action and to leave a firmer imprint on his drug addled mind. Even so, she has been in a good solid Plan A for well over 3 weeks and there is no need to go any further. It is time for her to get into Plan B.

Where she can really benefit from the counsel of Steve HArley is when they reconcile. Steve can facilitate the reconciliation and recovery. But right now she has a good, solid plan in place and needs to stick with that plan.
Posted By: RIF Re: H - 11/23/07 05:38 PM
Hey Charlotte!

You listen to Melody! You're doing great!

It's getting late over here so I'll check back with you tomorrow... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I'll give you a "smelly Italian guys in skimpy shorts report" after I go to the gym tomorrow morning, OK??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: MyRevelation Re: H - 11/23/07 05:43 PM
I've kept up with this whole situation from the start, but I don't think I've posted until now.

FWIW, I happen to agree with the recent posters that I've felt for some time, while reading this thread, that there were likely serious issues within this M pre-A, and that this whole thing was being handled very one-sided.

LG makes an excellent point, that if ALL that it took was for C22 to get ill for this A to occur, then your WH must be a very shallow person, which doesn't hold much truth for me based on what I've read so far. IMHO, C22 could still benefit from an "honest" Plan A that works on WH's perceived issues that she brought into the relationship pre-A, and in NO WAY am I condoning WH's A ... he owns that portion by himself.

Also, I didn't see WH and OW arriving together as that big of a deal. If I remember correctly, they are basically living together now (at least both are seperated from their spouses, so I assume they're living together), and C22 DID subpoena the OW, so it would seem logical (in thier wayward minds) that they would commute together.

I also see HUGE red flags waving from C22's infatuation with her attorney, although we're not privy to enough of her personal history/issues to know exactly where those red flags are connected.

This just seems like one of those cases where we may be succesful in winning the battle (breaking up the A), while losing the war (restoring a successful marriage).

C22, there is no need to get "wrapped around the axle" over these observations. We really don't know enough about the state of the M pre-A to offer more concrete appraisals, but I do think the questions are worth your consideration.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 05:49 PM
Quote
I shouldn't call you perfect. I should just state, it's all your WH's fault that you are here.

Therefore, it takes the focus off of YOU and your actions during the 14 years leading up to this point.

And I'm not blaming the victim here, your WH made a CHOICE to cheat on you. But what was going on in your M before he hit that tipping point?

LG, what was going in her marriage before the affair, besides her illness, was his DRUG ADDICTION. Her marriage, from all indications, was pretty solid until the wheels came off the cart. He has been arrested TWICE in the last 12 months for driving while intoxicated/impaired. Drug addicts and alcoholics have a much greater history of affairs because they have no boundaries.
Posted By: Orchid Re: H - 11/23/07 05:53 PM
Hi C22 & RIF,

This is for both of you so I will start of with my response to RIF 1st. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

RIF - I think you've got the 'secret weapon' out there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hear me out..... (then laff <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> )..... those 'shorts' (anyone who works up a sweat for that matter..... could provide that kind of ammo - LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> ) and it s/b shot into enemy territory. I am sure there are a lot of 'short ammo' lying around. Wonder how long it would to for that to 'overcome' the enemy? If that doesn't work, the back up plan w/b to send in either moms or bunch of us BS'..... wait, for plan C we could send all of us at a specific time of the month.....do that for a few months and that s/b enough to wear out any terrorists. LOL!!! That's the key.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> (.... and I am not a violent person - <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> )

Ok C22, you do know you w/b going through stages. To get ready for plan B as Mel suggests is a good idea. Here are mine: Pray for a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience. Get your support group ready for action, secure your finances in order and reassure your family of your love, support and commitment. Do NOT commit anything to the WS. Learn to distinguish between a WS and your real H. If he is also dealing with other addictions, address those also. You might have to sound like a broken record but repeating the same requirements (can alter the words a bit) will show you can not be deflected from your stance.

Expect the WS to test your patience, endurance and will. Strengthen those qualities.

You are working towards a goal of getting your mind and heart in sync.

You will know when u r ready for it.

You can read my sig line about the stages of grieving. Know that you are not alone in this quest. Many of us have been there, done that and survived. Welcome to the survivors club. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 05:56 PM
Folks, Plan A is not supposed to even be utilized in the case of drug or alcohol addiction, it is entirely ineffective because an addict does not respond in the same way a normal person would. Her version of Plan A in this situation has been limited to giving him 2 letters, that he could read in lucid, sober moments telling him that she a) did not want a divorce, b) was sorry for the state of the marriage and c) would be willing to forgive him and work on the marriage. Any more than that would be inappropriate with an addict. [Dr. Harley has spoken about this]

And btw, I DO know her personal history and have had many conversations with Charlotte and feel good about her plan.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: H - 11/23/07 05:58 PM
I never realized that the drug addiction was such a chronic problem. I know those situations have to be handled differently than normal As.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:00 PM
Hi MIM,

No. Believe it or not we discussed problems as adults when they came up.

Hard to believe it was ever like that when I think about all of the things that have happened since the A.

We were always open to each other and when something was going on outside of our M that affected us and either one of us was frustrated...it was recognized for what it was, blowing off steam.

We always stuck together. Never did I ever go behind his back and say bad things about him to my family or anyone. Our marriage was OUR marriage.

I could say anything to him. We didn't have secrets. Until the A.

There was always great mutual respect between us.

Until the A.

And then? I had to read about how he should have never married me...that he was just settling. We didn't even marry until we had been engaged for nearly a year.

He forgot all about that *spark* that passed between us when we met. Like an electrical jolt. And with him, it was the first time I ever had the knowlege that he was the man I would marry forever. I had heard others speak of this before but I never really had it. Until H.

So I knew it was right.

I never got the ILYBINILWY speech. The only thing I ever heard was how we don't have anything in common anymore. All of the things that WS's usually say were told to OW, not me. But I got to read all about it in chat logs.

So since he told her and not me what does that mean? That he was going to just disappear one day and I'd never see him again? Maybe he'd have left me a note?

I don't know. I don't want to think about all of that right now. I haven't eaten yet.

I was there as much as I could be when I was sick. I didn't cook our meals everyday and other household duties went undone. H is a man who likes to do laundry so he was the one that was basically taking care of that and our meals most of the time.

Not very exciting. So I can understand wanting some.

Me? I knew we were in a slump but I was confident we would pull out of it because we were married and everything is not roses all of the time.

We even talked about MC not long before the A started.

So I don't know what else I could change about myself if I could go back in time. Except for putting my foot down about going out to a movie with a friend from work because I couldn't go.

And maybe that would not have made any difference either.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 06:04 PM
Quote
I never realized that the drug addiction was such a chronic problem. I know those situations have to be handled differently than normal As.

mbm, the reason it is different is because an addict reacts entirely differently to Plan A than a sober mind. An addict only uses Plan A overtures as an opportunity to EXPLOIT and undermine. Nor can a drug addled mind participate in a program of recovery until they are dried out. Dr. Harley won't even counsel a couple where one is addicted until the addiction is arrested, because marital recovery is impossible.

So, in Charlotte's case, we know her H is a voracious reader and that he may have some lucid moments, so she wrote him a couple of love letters that he will have with him. We already know that he read every word of these letters.

There is nothing more she can do at this point, except go dark and remove herself from his triangle. In her Plan B letter, one of the conditions she will have to put forth will be abstinence from drugs. That will be a first step before they can even think about marital recovery.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: H - 11/23/07 06:05 PM
Well, ML, you've had the most contact with Charlotte... you probably are in a better spot than most if not all of us to judge or base an opinion. Furthermore, I really respect your opinion, in a general sense.

If the drug addiction is such a big problem here, well, maybe there is some sort of co-dependency issue with Charlotte? But, what do I know.

FWIW Charlotte, I'm certain no one here wanted to make you feel like "you suck". I certainly didn't. Just trying to help.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:07 PM
Hi MR,

Thank you for posting. My H is not a shallow person. I would have never gotten involved with him if he was.

He's always been somewhat hermit-like and I went the same direction too, so we hadn't done much socializing except with our family. And even then, it was limited for him, be it my side or his.

We hadn't been able to travel much because of all of the things that were going on outside our M that we helped out with, sometimes financially, even though it was hard on us.

We talked about escaping on our 3rd honeymoon all of the time. We were talking about saving up the money and deciding where we would go, even.

And really, I'm not infatuated with my attorney. It was a fleeting thing that made me feel good as a woman and as a human. That's it. I'm not going to see him for a long time so there won't be any imprinting going on.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: H - 11/23/07 06:09 PM
I didn't see your comments about your lawyer about infatuation, but more of a diversion <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: H - 11/23/07 06:11 PM
Quote
FWIW Charlotte, I'm certain no one here wanted to make you feel like "you suck". I certainly didn't. Just trying to help.

I think folks are sincerely trying to help her, however, I think many are missing a big piece of the puzzle because they may not be clear on her marital background and how her H's drug addiction effected it. An addiction makes this a very different breed of cat.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:13 PM
Thank you, Bellevue. I think you are right about the tantrum.

But I am also terrified that H just won't talk to me anymore. I'm sure he's extremely po'ed that I got the best of him in court.

And freezing the collection so he is not able to utilize it was like me poking the monster with a big stick.

I didn't push H to get married. He was afraid I might be a runaway bride, I think. I know he mentioned it before our wedding.

I DID encourage the friendship, though because I felt bad that I couldn't do everything with him that I should have been doing, even though I really wanted to.

I didn't see the harm in them going to a movie once in a while.

I know how stupid that was now. But I trusted him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:15 PM
Thanks Melody.

I don't want to have any doubts that what I'm doing is the right thing.

Of course sometimes I think that I'm just doing what he really wants with the D and that he just doesn't care about me anymore.

Even though I told him in person, on the phone, and gave him the letter you helped me compose to state my position.
Posted By: mbm69 Re: H - 11/23/07 06:20 PM
Charlotte, I pushed the friendship between S and OW too. I didn't think there was any harm in things, because she was a good friend of mine. We all want to trust our spouses... and it isn't stupid, it's the way it's supposed to be. I have learned that male and female friendships = trouble.
Posted By: MyRevelation Re: H - 11/23/07 06:23 PM
C22,

SERIOUSLY, I only wish you Good Luck in your efforts to R.

I sure didn't want to jump in and muddy the waters ... I've just been reading your situation from the beginning, and had a few observations and opinions, and this seemed like the appropriate time to chime in since others appeared to be getting some of the same vibes.

All I know is that in my situation, I had to recognize and address a couple of outside issues that I had that were draining away my natural confidence and happiness. Once I did that, I felt much better about MYSELF, which no doubt helped reignite my FWW's original attraction to me.

One of the things that I had to realize was that when it came to recovery with my FWW, it was just as important to view things through HER pre-A perspective (counselling helped with this), becaues whether I agreed with it or not HER perception was HER reality. Its just a matter of getting on the same page with your WS, before any R can occur.

Also, just for my clarification, what is your WH's drug of choice, the amount/frequency of usage, and length of addiction?

Again, Good Luck to you.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: H - 11/23/07 06:24 PM
C22, could be that his p.o.-ness could last a while.

Just ruminating, had he won everything he demanded, would he want to be talking?

In the years leading up to our estrangement, my H repeated over and over a myth that we shared: that he was afraid I would change my mind and decide not to marry him, so we short-dated our wedding. That he was insanely in love with me. For my part, I could not get over that such a wonderful prince wanted to marry me. He used to say "You must've had a rough life."

After D-day, the myth curdled into "I only married you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings. And once you became pregnant with DS, I realized I was stuck. I know you never loved me."

You encouraged the friendship too? Charlotte, I could kick myself. I also encouraged them to go to movies, dinner, sports events. I was so STUPID!

Hang in there. I'm realizing there's a lot of background most of us don't have about your H, you and the M, including the addiction. I am so praying for your success.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:31 PM
Thanks Orchid,

I am trying to mentally prepare for this. I started to take down pictures and other mementos last night.

This a.m. before I left I took down the post-it notes that were in our bathroom that we used to leave to each other all of the time.

Just those sweet little bits from our former life hurt so bad to look at.

I don't know what I'll do as far as when people want to talk about H. I know questions will be asked.

My mom was talking about his cake-eating last night and I got really upset and frustrated with her. I apologized later but I had the shakes and my stomach was in knots.

I guess that packing everything up is okay? believer and I were talking about this last night.

Will this be some signal to H that I am washing my hands of him forever? Should I pack everything away but leave our wedding photos on display?

I'm not sure but I know that it makes me feel better not to look at it.

H used to spoil me a lot with little gifts and things and there's just so much of it I can hardly believe it. My walls are going to be really bare.

I guess that will make it easier to paint, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:36 PM
Hi mbm69,

Thank you for helping me. I am just trying not to dwell on H's silence and what he did the other day.

It's gotten better since then but sometimes it crops up and I start feeling bad about myself again.
Posted By: Orchid Re: H - 11/23/07 06:38 PM
Well I just posted an Edit to my comment to RIF.... didn't want it to sound prejudice or anything like that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

C22, when H left, I found that seeing his stuff in the house was hazardous to my recovery. So I packed up his clothes and misc stuff boxed them and put them in the garage. After a few failed recovery attempts each time those things were brought back into the house, the method of repacking them changed.

It went from suitcases to nice packing boxes to large garbage bags, then finally just threw them out on the front lawn. Talk about exposure. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He stopped fighting me after that (regarding my touching his stuff). That was for his benefit because in my plan, the next step would have included the use of scissors. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I made it my aim that our family was valuable. If he wanted back it, he had to earn it. Each time he made work for me, it pissed me off and that is why his clothes eventually were on display in our front porch and yard. Yea.... WS was also pissed but when the police saw it, they ordered him to pick it up and remove himself from our home. They also told him I had a right to be that angry if an A was involved. Boy did that tick off the WS. But it sure helped me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Btw, Ws was warned each time NOT to leave his stuff in the house since our home was not to be used to enable the A. Leaving his stuff in our home made it convenient for him and that was not my intent.

take care,
L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:43 PM
Yeah, he was a very nice diversion.

I probably won't stop thinking about him completely, either.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:47 PM
LMAO, Orchid,

That was a great story about your H's stuff.

I didn't even think about the obvious, how having H's stuff around was helping to enable the affair.

Thanks for bringing that up. I guess I'd better get some more boxes and pack his crap too, eh?

Nah, don't want to make it too easy on him. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 06:49 PM
You're right Melody. Even I haven't been thinking too much about his addiction, and I should be.

I have informed the family that I was trying to enlist the aid of his employers to help deal with his addiction.

They are really worried about him, too. Especially in light of the way his mother died because her kidneys were destroyed.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine RIF - 11/23/07 06:52 PM
You are probably sleeping now so I hope you have a nice rest!

I'm looking forward to RIF's "Shorts Reports" later!

My mom is going to get together with some people from work at the post office so we can get a really good care package together.

I hope you have some nice dreams and not any with Italians in skimpy shorts ballet dancing! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: johnstwin Re: RIF - 11/23/07 07:15 PM
C22

Poking a monster???? I really have to get going with my Bigfoot trap and send him your WH's way....

Thinking of you and sending prayers your way.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/23/07 07:34 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I'll take you up on that, johnstwin!

Thank you for the prayers, I know I'm going to need all of the help I can get with this.
Posted By: Orchid Re: RIF - 11/23/07 07:36 PM
Ok RIF has me on a roll here.... LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> .... I think we should fling over poopy diapers. Regardless of age. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine H - 11/23/07 07:46 PM
I feel guilty. I really do. I wasn't there for my husband as I should have been.

I tried but I guess I didn't try hard enough. I didn't mean to be so depressed and I had no idea how bad your thyroid gland can betray you when it wants.

I was a wreck emotionally and I didn't care about my appearance, the appearance of our home or anything, really. I tried to spend time with H but when I was carrying around so much fluid it was hard to function.

Clothing was uncomfortable. Food was harder to eat. The pills didn't help any, either. The doctors would not allow me to take diuretics.

Anyway...I did apologize to H. I tried to make things up to him when he was still in our home.

I got my system cleaned out, the docs finally found the right meds to take care of the fluid retention. I started trying to be the best I could be.

Not long before exposure I was talking to H and the stepford wife comment came up. So I know they were still talking about me and making fun of me.

I was just trying to do better and make life better for him and me. I finally tweaked the recipe for cheese enchiladas to the point where they were perfect for both of us because we've always been really picky about c.e.'s and only the right cheese, sauce and tortilla thickness will do.

I got back into the good habits of living while wading through some deeper cleaning that needed to be addressed in our home.

I started going horseback riding again. I started reading again, both fiction for pleasure and books for education about A's.

Numerous things. Then he started taking more and more pills again (he had slacked off for a while,) staying later and later at "work," and taking more and more money from our account.

So now here we are today.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/23/07 07:49 PM
I'll send some of GS's used diapers over in a separate care package... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: H - 11/23/07 07:51 PM
C22:

For what it's worth, I HAD read about the drug issues. It appeared to be more casual, than an addiction.

And if it is a drug Addiction, then MB will never work. Al-Alnon, or the narcotic equivlent, is appropriate for C22.

Until her H kicks that Habit, then, the M will only ever be on life-support.


I asked you to get a plan.

I NOW understand that you are in Plan MEL. With Mel providing assistance and guidance off of this board.

Cool.

When someone has the ability of DIRECT, face to face contact, either in person and then by phone, and they have a good knowledge of MB plans, like Mel does, then they ARE in good hands. I'm glad that has been exposed.

I will leave your thread alone.

My questions were geared towards exploring your past marriage to find out what lovebusters and EN issues were occurring to help you repair those things. And once those things were identified, then we could show you, through Plan A, how to show you WH these new behaviors, thereby allowing you to finish your Plan A on a high note, before going to Plan B.

You seemed to just be poking sticks at your H all the time, and no real Plan A moments, and then you were going to Plan B.

Thereby, not accomplishing the true goals of Plan A. Letting your WH see that you recognized and addressed the areas causing you two seperation.

I will continue to read, becasue I DO enjoy your wit and humor, in spite of the horror that surrounds your world right now.

LG

P.S. You posted about your Thyroid, before I posted this. My wife had Thyroid issues as well.
Posted By: Orchid Re: RIF - 11/23/07 07:53 PM
Quote
I'll send some of GS's used diapers over in a separate care package... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: RIF - 11/23/07 08:00 PM
Charlotte,

I agree very much with Mel about Plan A and addiction-that is stuff straight from Dr. Harley...Mel knows her MB, and as I said before, you are in good hands there...

Mr. W and I were discussing your situation...We think it is quite likely that your H and OW "bonded" over the fact that they both had spouses with illnesses...That certainly is NOT okay, but I can see how it happened...I'm sure you've already thought about that as well...

I also have an illness that causes me to retain fluid-sucks doesn't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Hmmm, do you get pressure headaches with yours and have to have occasional lumbar punctures too??? How weird would it be if we have the same illness???

I will tell you that I have been a bit concerned about all the non business talk about your attorney...I came close to posting that to you yesterday, but then I remembered that you know Mel and that she would pistol whip ya if she thought there was danger there! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Still, diversion or not, BB said that your attorney is married, and I'll bet his wife wouldn't appreciate him being used in that way, kwim? Not beatin' ya, just a word of friendly caution, k? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: H - 11/23/07 08:11 PM
Hi LG,

No, I wasn't really poking sticks at him. I just think that's the way he views things.

I made a lot of changes to myself before exposure. He noticed this, hence the "stepford" comment.

I told him I was doing things trying to improve our lives and to make me feel better about myself by accomplishing tasks that were too long undone.

I was back in the kitchen cooking good food like I used to. I was trying to get him to eat better and more balanced to help him with his vitamin imbalance and he knows this.

I took great care of him in our last few months together. He knows this. He noticed and he thanked me.

We weren't really talking, though, about the elephant in the room. I did bring it up a couple of times and had the expected results. I wasn't comfortable in volunteering any other type of information that I did not want passed on to OW.

So we talked about important things but we did NOT talk about the A or our R at all. Except for the couple of times or so before exposure.

I know the guilt was getting to him...I could see it. But that didn't stop his path of destruction. So I exposed and now he can do whatever he wants.

I am still married and I am not going to do that.

I Plan A'ed him really well the last few times he's been home. There was even some flirting going on between us. I wasn't afraid to talk to him normally, like we used to.

I gave him the letters, a story and I sent a poem to him a couple of days before court.

We talked in email and on the phone. Not always nice in the email from his end but he did tell me he liked the poem in one of his last emails.

He wasn't hungry or couldn't eat (nervous stomach) when he was there so I packed meals for him and packed extra so he'd get some good food into him.

I talked to him on the phone before court and once again told him that I didn't want a D and that I had to file for protection. He was having a lot of trouble getting that through his head or didn't want to.

schoolbus & Melody advised that I should tell him again for reinforcement so that's what I did in the last phone call, the one where we actually talked and he wasn't asking directions to the courthouse.

That he knew the directions for already.

So we went to court. He is in Plan FU and I am still in Plan A. I have no idea what will happen when he shows up for the inventory and to get some personal stuff.

I hope this happens on the same day but it might not. Depends on if he rents or borrows a vehicle so he can take the giant tv, which I complained about but ONLY because I didn't want anything moved around in our home.

Now I'll be moving and rearranging things myself.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/23/07 08:25 PM
Hi Mrs. W,

Thank you for your input. Sounds like that's probably what happened with the bonding. She doesn't seem to realize that H has a plethora of health problems himself. She's just exchanging one sickness for another. Plus a drug addiction.

I have pressure headaches, too. So does H. We used to compare notes to others we knew because there were a couple of family members who didn't believe it.

No lumbar punctures but I do have arthritis in my spine. I was reading up on rheumatoid arthritis and the symptoms sound close to the various bone and joint problems I've been having. I don't know if that's what it is, though.

As far as my attorney, I am not infatuated with him and I wouldn't jump into any relationship with him if such a thing came up. I am just glad his actions helped me as well as his legal expertise.

I now know that if H self-destructs completely to the point-of-no-return that eventually I could have a relationship with someone again.

I know my mind did this to me because it was trying to shield me from the pain H was/is inflicting on me. I just don't see it as a terribly bad thing. It is what it is. It isn't anything serious at all.

If that were the case I'd be doing stupid stuff like finding excuses to call him, etc. Ain't happening. Bad for everyone. Bad for the kids. They already have their dad acting like an [censored]. No, make that him being a TOTAL [censored].

But I still love him and I want us to work out. Yes, I wish I could Plan B right now, today.

I have fears about Plan B, too because H might see it as an "oh, well" and that will be it for him. We end up D'ed and out of each other's lives forever.

So while I understand that B is going to work for me whether or not H wakes up and turns around, I still fear that I will lose him forever.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: RIF - 11/23/07 08:40 PM
I understand what you mean about the attorney Charlotte...I just care kiddo, so I thought I'd say a little something...But I gotcha...

As far as Plan B goes...Plan B is about YOU and for YOU...Hard as it is, you have to let go of the outcome-it's not something that you can control, although I know it is VERY human to hope that it will make a difference to the WS, and it WILL, even if you don't see it right away, but realize that that is only a byproduct of Plan B and not it's true aim, which is to remove you from harm's way and allow any love left in your lovebank to be preserved...Stay the course, you are doing great!

(((Charlotte)))

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: RIF - 11/23/07 09:01 PM
Thanks Mrs. W,

I know there are no guarantees with Plan B and that it's really for me. I can't help but hope it will have some sort of impact on H.

I know he'll miss me in lucid moments. We always had fun together and matched each other wit for wit when we were goofing around.

When I was talking with him face to face one of the times he came over before the hearing I had told him that I knew what he had told me (re: not leaving me high and dry) but I couldn't trust him, after all, I trusted him and he had an A.

His reply was to say, "You mean we can't even be friends?" No. My friends don't lie to me and betray me.

I thought I'd have to be the one to bring this up as Mel and I discussed but my words prompted him to come to that realization and voice it.

I know it will be really hard but I am going to pack away our memories and it will help me to let go of H. I'll still hold that tiny spark of hope in my heart that my sweet Jonesy will come back to me and Mr. Gray will be dead forever.

On a different note: Did you get a chance to check out "Blaze" and read it?
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: RIF - 11/23/07 09:44 PM
Quote
On a different note: Did you get a chance to check out "Blaze" and read it?

I did check it out, it's sitting on my nightstand right now as a matter of fact! I also got This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti (have you read that one?) and chose to start that one first, although admittedly I haven't set aside enough time for reading lately and am lagging behind...Our DD's birthday had me hopping to and fro and then there was Thanksgiving prep/Thanksgiving and now Christmas decorating...and LOL, let's not forget my MB time...I'll get there though, I'm looking forward to it! Thanks for asking! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Blaze - 11/23/07 10:12 PM
Hi Mrs. W,

I haven't read the Peretti novel. I'm like you as far as reading lately...I'm still reading "From a Buick 8"-(King) again but I haven't picked it up lately.

I might have picked it up once since exposure day and read a page or two. That's about it!

You'll probably enjoy Blaze. I had my doubts at first when I read the excerpt, I mean, I KNEW I would enjoy it but I just didn't expect it to be so GREAT after I read the excerpt and SK's intro. WOW!

I'll never forget it and I know I'll read it again and again. I think they should make a movie with Frank Darabont as director. He would be great for it!
Posted By: RIF Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 01:47 AM
Hey Charlotte!!!

Well, there was one Italian in the gym this morning. He was on the stair-master... but he wasn't wearing any skimpy shorts as it turned a bit colder here last night.

What is it with guys that wear the mid-thigh spandex and that's it??? I mean come on, the skimpy shorts were bad enough, but now this guy is wearing the skin-tight spandex shorts and that's it!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Well, at least it wasn't smelly this morning! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I hope you have a good evening Charlotte... I've got to go outside the wire today so I won't be around on the Night-Shift for very long... I'll check back with you later, OK?

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: believer Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 01:58 AM
TJ- MrsW - I read "This Present Darkness" about 15 years ago and LOVED it. I still remember it. Hope you love it.

Charlotte - Hang in there, and don't blame yourself for things you can't change. The affair will end. They all do. You just need to keep making a very nice life, and I'm sure hubby will be wanting to join you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 02:16 AM
Thanks RIF! I'll probably be up unless I wear myself out shifting radio equipment around so I can store the memory boxes in our spare room.

Short's report revised to "Spandex Report!" I don't know, if I was a guy, if I'd be able to wear such things. I think I'd be a little too self-conscious about it!

Take care out there, RIF, I'll see you later.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 02:20 AM
Thanks believer. I know it will. I can't let impatience get to me now.

I'm trying to mentally prepare for Plan B and also prepare for his attitude when he shows up for the inventory. I was looking around again earlier and there is just no way it will be done in one day.

It will probably take a pallet of film to photograph all of that stuff! Maybe they'll videotape it instead.
Posted By: believer Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 02:36 AM
And please post the enchilada recipe..............
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 02:47 AM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I can do that!
Posted By: RIF Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 11:55 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I'm back! Hope you got some rest this evening...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 03:41 PM
Hi RIF,

Glad to hear you're back! I slept longer than I expected. Some dreams but I don't remember much about them. I know H was in at least one of them, asking me about his pictures.
Posted By: RIF Re: Smelly Italians in Skimpy Shorts - 11/24/07 04:00 PM
Hey Charlotte!

Glad you got some good rest... and I hope you have a great day today!!!
I am thinking that I won't hear from H even after he cools off. I think he is going to hide behind his lawyer.

We are allowed to talk to each other now (even though we were before, anyway,) because the lawyers left the door open for reconciliation.

Do they always do this? (I guess not in physically abuse situations it wouldn't be a good thing.)

I have an affadavit from his case for the DWI that he needs to sign and get notarized within 10 days of 11/27. For his license. The rest of his case is still pending. Maybe they will set a date for trial at his next hearing. That won't be until February, though.

So I need to get this affadavit to him. He knows about it but I'm betting he forgot.

So I'm going to have to contact him whether he contacts me or not.

Will his 6-mile brick wall of silence make it easier for me to transition into Plan B? Or should I still contact him once-in-a-while?

I would give everything I had just to hear him call and say that we need to talk. That he'd awakened in the morning from a dream and he'd had an epiphany.

I know. Dream away, Charlotte.
Hey Charlotte,

You aren't in Plan-B yet are you? If not, then I'd contact him and let him know about the affadavit that he needs to sign...

Use this as an opportunity to let him know that you still care for him and that your door is open as long has he ends the A.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Hi RIF,

No, I'm not in Plan B yet. That's a good idea, though. I thought I'd have to be all business when I contact him. I'll have to rehearse what I'm going to say, I think. And prepare myself for anything rude or nasty that might come out of his mouth.

Earlier after I posted the last post, the phone rang. Wasn't him, though. Just a bill collector. Woulda been funny and cool if it had been him, though.
And another thing, RIF...

I could be a real b**** and hang on to that affadavit just for some petty revenge for all the hurt H has piled upon me.

But Charlotte doesn't do petty revenge. Never have. Maybe this will make H *think!!!!* a little. I can always hope, I guess.
Quote
But Charlotte doesn't do petty revenge. Never have.


That's good... because that would definitely be a huge LB!

I would say though, when you call him and let him know about the paper, don't have any pre-concieved notions about what he will say or think. Do it because it's the right thing to do and not because you "want him to come back"... if that makes sense.

Well, it's getting late over here... I hope you have a great weekend! I'll catch you later on the Night-Shift...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Hi RIF!

Thank you! I hope your weekend is going well, too. Get some good rest!

The only pre-conceived notion I have about talking to H about the affidavit is that he will probably be cold to me. I'm not trying to look for any other reaction although a small part of me hopes for more.

This is the wierdest thing...or not?

I lit a candle in honor of our marriage yesterday. It is STILL burning. The flame is very small but it's there. I thought it had gone out during the night but when I walked by earlier I smelled warm wax and sure enough...there it is!And we are talking about a votive candle here and not one of the big, tall ones.

Message from above....
Quote
I could be a real b**** and hang on to that affadavit just for some petty revenge for all the hurt H has piled upon me.

And there would be nothing loving about that. Charlotte, take every opportunity to show the carrot. My FWH was also fighting a DWI while he was with his second OW. Guess who went to court with him? Me. Everyone said I was a fool but I did it to show him that "I" was the one who cared for him when the rubber hit the road. It didn't bring him back right then but later he told me that it meant a lot to him to know that I was there for him when he was being such an [censored].

Stay in Plan A for a long as you can so he'll remember his loving Charlotte was there for him (doesn't mean you can't administer the stick when the need arises.) But this is a fantastic opportunity for you to Plan A.
C22,

Here's what you posted:
Quote
His reply was to say, "You mean we can't even be friends?" No. My friends don't lie to me and betray me.

I thought I'd have to be the one to bring this up as Mel and I discussed but my words prompted him to come to that realization and voice it.

Orchid: This is a sign, he is regretting and checking his support sources. It is the WS speaking prompted by your H who can barely muster up the energy to let you know he is still alive. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Yep........ so how you responded was fine. It let the WS side of him know you choose NOT t/b friends with a WS and send a silent signal to your real H that you still have the strong principals you need for him to return.

Did you realize you had that ability? You do. There's more you have in your arsenal against the A and the WS.

As your mind and heart get ready to enter plan B you will not worry about losing, you will concentrate on surviving and moving forward.

This in turn will leave the shining path for your H to return while killing the WS. How? The WS requires you to enable their WS attitude and A, even if it is with your anger.

So identify your personal and M boundaries, implement them. This will prepare you for a solid plan B. In fact, depending on your boundaries you will even be able to handle contact on necessary issues but on YOUR terms NOT the WS'. That is a BIG blow to the WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.
Hi princess meggy!

Thanks. Yeah, the last time H had to go to court I was going to go but he talked to our lawyer and found out the case would be delayed again. That was the week before he had
to appear.

Then the night before his appearance, out of the blue he starts telling me if I'm going to go that we will go together in our car and we'd better leave earlier than last time because it was so busy there.

He tried to put it off on me but I hadn't said peep one about it since the week before. He wanted me to go. He just wouldn't come right out and say it. So I went.

I guess he'll be going alone next time. He knows how OW feels about court, jail, criminal cases, criminal records, etc. We finally got a copy of his arrest the last time we went and he didn't take it to work to show anyone, especially her. He left it with me so I could review it.

Nope, no dirty laundry aired for the OW.

He probably has her convinced he's going to get out of this because of a doctor's note. He hasn't been forthcoming with our lawyer about pertinent information though I have told him numerous times that he needs to come clean with our lawyer.

Also, I could have sabotaged the crap out of him a few months ago. He forgot about a document that needed to be returned to the court. I thought he'd taken care of it. I found it the day before it was due.

Yeah, I thought about it. But I couldn't do it. Even though it would have put a big crimp in the affair right then. So I sent it Overnight Express and he didn't get picked up by the police yet again. You're welcome, H.

I'm not sure how to go about Plan A except for appearance and demeanor. As for letting him know the door is still open when the A ends...I'm not quite sure how to word it yet.

P.S.) Oh yeah, and shame on me for mispelling "affidavit" so many times! I was in a hurry and didn't proof read! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Hi Orchid!

Thank you! No, I didn't realize I had that ability. I hope I can utilize it again, though. If I can figure out how.

That little exchange made a big impression on me and your words made me understand the "why" much, much better and clearer.

That I was actually able to reach him is a great thing. I am constantly dealing with what if? What if? And when I think about the situation I forget that I am important and I was important to him for a long, long time.

I have to keep that at the forefront so any negativity can't eel it's way in.

I had a thought on the way back over here re: H and Plan B. I am hearing my mind say...to heck with it, you are going to go into Plan B and you will not worry about him and what he's doing let him wallow in the sty...he's going to get tired of being muddy sooner or later.

Well, something to that effect. So I guess my mind is working on Plan B even when I'm not really thinking about it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine WS's - 11/25/07 01:49 AM
I am just wondering:

How does a WS ever discern between the truth and the lies he or she has made up about a BS in order to make it okay to have an affair?

Is it because of the foggy thinking they are in, but in their hearts they know the real truth and it eventually comes out to them during moments of clarity?

How often do WS's even HAVE moments of clarity?

Do WS's miss their spouses at all or are they too caught up with the OW or OM?

Thank you for your input.
Hey Charlotte!

That's pretty cool about the candle... but I think that your M is still "alive" because YOU are doing a great job in fighting for it...

I'm here and will be around all day today... I hope you get some sleep, but if you can't, I'll be here!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: RIF Re: WS's - 11/25/07 03:28 AM
Quote
How often do WS's even HAVE moments of clarity?

Do WS's miss their spouses at all or are they too caught up with the OW or OM?


Mrs. RIF never left home... she was able to compartmentalize her A's and her M and keep them separate. She has since told me that she always knew that what she was doing was wrong but the "thrill" and the "attention" were just too great for her to stop....

My situation was very different from yours...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: WS's - 11/25/07 03:30 AM
Quote
I am just wondering:

How does a WS ever discern between the truth and the lies he or she has made up about a BS in order to make it okay to have an affair?

Is it because of the foggy thinking they are in, but in their hearts they know the real truth and it eventually comes out to them during moments of clarity?

How often do WS's even HAVE moments of clarity?

Do WS's miss their spouses at all or are they too caught up with the OW or OM?

Thank you for your input.

Well Charlotte, you have to lie to yourself in order to have an affair...It's the most bizarre thing...Things are compartmentalized a lot...You have to make the BS the enemy in order to get your fix...Pretty tough to say to yourself, "Wow, BS is just so wonderful, but right now I'm really selfish and want this huge ego boost so the heck with them!" No, that's not what happens at all...You have to tell yourself your BS is just the worst thing in the world-you magnify the tiniest of things that they have ever done wrong...and you need reassurance of how "horrible" they are, so you say terrible things about the BS to the OP so that the OP will back you and make you feel like what you are doing is so right...And they tell you crap like "Oh poor you, how could you have put up with that?" OMG, it's just so sick, twisted and wrong...

I remember an almost comical story from that time-strange to find humor in any of it for sure, but it illustrates what happens when the WS is faced with the actual truth, so I'll tell it...Ok, I went to Atlanta for 2 weeks to see OM-ugh-Anyway, one night I went to have dinner with my mom, who did not yet know that I was having an affair...She got in the passenger seat of my car, pulled down the sunvisor to look in the mirror and apply her lipstick...Imagine her surprise, (and mine), when she came across a post it note that Mr. W had put there (in hopes that OM would be the one to find it) that said [censored]...Um, well, I had a REAL tough time explaining that one...My mom knew that we were having trouble, and at that point she kept pressing me about what was so horrible about Mr. W...I would LOVE to have a video of what I must have looked like trying to explain it to her, because I could not tell her the same lies I told OM, because she KNOWS Mr. W...So I sputtered and hemmed and hawed...I really couldn't come up with SQUAT that was wrong with him...I looked like the total fool that I was...It put me further into internal conflict...Not to mention that Mr. W had sent me the most beautiful roses in the world while I was down there, and was sweet as sugar on the phone...The fantasy was crumbling...It began to fall apart from the moment Mr. W knew and continued rapidly downhill from there...

Moments of clarity do come-sorta-hard to explain what a WS moment of clarity looks like-it's a lot of torment for good thoughts of your BS to cross your mind-because look at what you are doing to them, yanno? You do miss your spouse...It's a very painful and confusing time...WSs exist in almost constant turmoil and conflict-or at least I did...Charlotte, I couldn't even pray-I had to push thoughts of God far from my mind...I had to escape back to the fantasy anytime thoughts of truth and reality came in...And when that didn't work, I escaped by abusing Xanax...It was a horrible dark time...

Don't know if anything I said helps you or not, I hope so...Feel free to ask me anything you'd like...

Mrs. W
Hi RIF!!

Yeah, I thought that was the neatest thing and a message also. I lit 2 candles tonight...one is a votive and one is heart shaped. I put our wedding picture in between. (I'm trying not to look at it though!)

Now I'm in the kitchen pouring more candles. I want to make some more for me and H but also for Melody. She LOVES candles! I hope I can do a good job of it for her. I don't want to make any faulty candles!!

I might be up for quite a while. Thanks for checking in!!

Thank you for saying that our M is still alive because I am fighting for it. I am trying not to get discouraged but as you know it's not always easy!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WS's - 11/25/07 03:50 AM
Oh, Thank you Mrs. W!!!!

That was so funny about the post-it note that I am here by myself laughing out loud! Good thing it's cold and wet and the neighbors aren't out in their backyard!!

That was SO funny! I can see the video in my mind!

My H was never so uncaring, mean and cruel as he is since the A...I know a lot of others experience the same.

It's so against his grain that I just don't see how it wouldn't affect him. Since you've told me of your experiences with your A, I can see that it DOES affect him and it should.

I know the guilt was really getting to him in the last few weeks before exposure. I think the real H (Jonesy) was trying to send Mr. Gray a message.

I hope that this still continues. I'm sure that his anger will carry Mr. Gray for a while so I'm trying not to get too discouraged when I don't hear from him. And I know he got my last email...he was online today. I didn't stick around in IM long...I was just checking messages. (And, okay, checking to see if he was on!)

I know he can't erase our history no matter how hard he tries to rewrite it because our relationship was never as bad as he wrote to OW. Melody can tell you how bad they trashed me, she's seen the chat logs.

I try not to think about it. I was always struck, though, when H had to lie to OW to get his ego stroked. And thanks to OWH I know that OW lied to H as well.

We both told our respective S's about the inconsistent stories. OW of course, did not want to believe OWH when he told her of H's other marriage and the A that ended it.

She's probably thinking about that. She's not dumb, just a b*tch.

I was thinking about OWH a lot, earlier. I am really worried about him. I think this is going to put him in the hospital. He was SO pale and weak looking the other day at the hearing. I feel so bad for him.

How can his wife not notice this? There's just NO way! She can ignore it all she likes. She KNOWS him and knows about his illness. Geez, how much more is she gonna put this poor guy through?

Well, sorry this was so long. I really appreciate your input. I am trying to mentally prepare for Plan B but I can't help thinking about H and where he is, what he is doing and if he is thinking about us.

I watched a movie tonight that H would have liked. "Mr. Brooks" with Kevin Costner. It was pretty good, too. I really got into it so much that I didn't think about our situation much at all. Except to wish he was here watching it with me.

I'm probably going to send him an email and tell him I saw it and I think he'd enjoy it and also tell him about the heater in the bathroom that keeps throwing the safety switch. He was going to fix this but I always told him I didn't want "H Toast" so it never was fixed.

It does need to be fixed now and I will spend the night worrying about electrical fires because that is how my mom's house burned down.

Thanks again!

Love,

Charlotte
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: WS's - 11/25/07 05:12 AM
Oh man Charlotte, I hope you will get that heater fixed SOON...Fire is my greatest fear...And mind you I have caught TWO toaster ovens on fire in the past few months...Both times I was cooking a hotdog without the pan...Yes, I know, DUH...They just taste so good when they have the little grill looking marks on them! LOL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> The first time, luckily we had a fire extinguisher handy, although I hadn't a clue how to work it and our 7 year old dd (at the time-she's 8 now!) had to shout directives at me, because I was jumping up and down and screaming that I didn't know what in the heck to do...All while she is opening the front and back doors and fanning the fire alarm so it will shut up...THANK GOD for her...The second time, which was a couple of weeks ago, since I hadn't replaced the fire extinguisher yet-another DUH-all I had was a cold cup of coffee that was sitting next to the toaster oven, so I threw that on there and luckily it worked...Yeah, I'm quite the chef! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh yeah and I thought of a funny and seriously RIDICULOUS thing that I said about Mr. W during my affair...I told OM that he used "Grandma Toothpaste" and that it bugged the crap outta me...HUH??? Talk about digging at the bottom of the barrel for things wrong...That takes the cake, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> I was such a nimrod!!!

Just thought I'd try and give you a little comic relief! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: WS's - 11/25/07 05:18 AM
Oh yeah, "grandma toothpaste" was referring to the brand of toothpaste...Which was/is Pepsodent, btw...Turns out, the stuff tastes pretty good and works well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WS's - 11/25/07 05:39 AM
Pepsodent does taste good!

I totally agree with you about the hot dogs. I can't eat hot dogs with boiled weiners at all anymore. I don't know what I'll do when I get to visit NY and want to buy a hot dog from a street vendor!

H is spoiled that way, too. Weiners/franks must be broiled in the oven or even fried in a little butter on the stove or it ain't happenin'!

That was a great story and I agree with you about fire. When I was around 19 and dating this biker guy (he didn't look the part at all, though!) we were at Mom's and all of a sudden the lights started going out in each room. With an electrical buzzing sound. Next thing we knew we smelled smoke.

I jumped up and checked the attic, (one of those doors that pull down with a ladder.) FIRE!! I screamed and woke everyone up and they got out while I ran for the hose. It was the craziest thing...I kinked the hose before I carried it inside so the floor wouldn't get wet! Duh! It was going to get wet anyway! So I sprayed the fire until the firemen got there. Good thing for me the electricity was out or I would have been one toasty critter!

We made it through that one but the 2nd one was way worse. It happened about a week after I'd had the worst fight with my sister EVER! We helped my bro move to SF, CA and we drove there via Colorado. We didn't want him to drive alone. My sister developed road psychosis and she almost killed us at least once, maybe twice. So I wasn't speaking to her at that time.

H and I were sleeping when there's pounding on our door. We didn't make it to the door in time so the next thing we know the phone rings and it's Mom telling us that the house burned down. I sprang into action and rushed outside to leave. I could smell it on the air then.

I drove over as fast as I could not wanting to see the awful remains. The house was still standing but it was very nearly entirely gutted. Only the living room and my old room looked okay and they were still singed very badly.

It was easily one of the worst things that ever happened to me personally, that is, until the A. I never thought anything would surpass losing my childhood home, other than the loss of very close relatives.

We were going to try and rebuild but circumstances didn't allow it. The house was finally taken down this year, not too long before H's A, in fact.

I'll be contacting H about this ASAP. The last thing I want is having to call him in the middle of the night and tell him our house burned down. (He might think I did it anyway, with that WS mindset.)

Buy more extinguishers, Mrs. W!! One for each room!

P.S.) Do you like your hotdogs with chili when you make them at home or just plain? We always go with chili unless they are grilled outside. Then all ya' need is a little mustard and they are Grrrrrrrrrreat!!!
Posted By: The_411 Charlotte you're doing great - 11/25/07 06:02 AM
Wow, I go away a few days and the thread expands by 15%.

Plan B is a hard thing. However sometimes people are too stupid to recognize what they are throwing away until they look up and realize that it's gone.

It sucks that these same idiots don't seem to realize that they are robbing us of the pleasure of showing true love not to mention the fact they don't have the ability to realize what damage they are doing to our psyche and self-esteem.

Sounds like you're doing a great job and it sounds like your H is quite lost but your leaving the crumbs back to the M.

Just remember should you Plan B it's for you to get you back. Just like you I want the love of my life back, but remember you want the person you fell in love with not the mutated alien.
Hey Charlotte!

My TX watch says its 0221 in the morning... I just wanted to check in and see if you were having problems sleeping...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: User123 Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/25/07 04:26 PM
Charlotte,

I know that this sounds strange, but when I first started thinking about why I wanted my wife back, Jennifer made me make a list. She warned me to keep this list close so that when I started to think about giving up, or started looking at other women, I could pull out my list. I know that right now your husband isn't giving you any reason to look to him for comfort, but having a list of what made me fall in love with my wife, and the reasons I loved her everyday made it easier for me to stop any and all relationships with other women. It might take some time to think of things to put on your list, but look back through photo albums and the times you shared.

You are doing great.
Ryan.


Quote
Thanks Mark. I know you are right. Spock knows you are right. I must get him back into the driver's seat.

My mind is focusing on my lawyer to help me deal with the pain. Not fair to me or my lawyer.

But dang it! If he responded to me only as a client and not as a woman it would have made all of the difference!

Probably he was just trying to help but "what??!!"

No, not imagination. He responded to me as woman, and not just when I was upset.

Curse me. I am so weak. I know this would never lead anywhere and only end up hurting more people.

And me? I hardly looked at H. I was too busy looking into my lawyer's eyes.

Curses!

I am ashamed.

It doesn't matter. There's no telling when I'll see him again so I'll just be focusing on H and his sorry self.

H doesn't give a crap about me anyway.
Hi RIF,

Thanks for checking in. I did sleep. I woke up in the wee hours to strange noises. You know, the ones that are okay in the daytime but at night they turn ominous.

I slept too long. I didn't want to get up and face the H-less day, I guess, but I have a ton of work to do before he shows up again.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte you're doing great - 11/25/07 04:37 PM
Thanks 411!

I tend to forget that this will mean he is losing me as well.

I am looking forward to the peace of Plan B. I have lots of things I need to do that I'll have time to do when I get there. Like mucking stalls in the barn! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well, I guess that depends on my shoulder. I'm supposed to do physical therapy for a while and then the doc decides whether or not I need surgery.

My shoulder reminds me of H because of the circumstances of the injury so I need to get it taken care of asap.

How is it going for you in Plan B? You are really close to the point where Melody says it gets a lot better.
Hey Charlotte!

Glad you got some good rest!

I'm going on a little trip this week so I'll most likely be off the boards until the end of the week... You're doing great and you've got some great help...

Remember, you have a good idea of what's happening because you've read the WS handbook... so when you start feeling down, focus on the facts, and remember that the A won't last long because of your great exposure!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Charlotte you're doing great - 11/25/07 04:55 PM
Plan B letter: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...rue#Post1143897
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/25/07 05:08 PM
Hi Ryan,

That's a good idea. I'll have to do that. And I'll carry it in my wallet, too.

It will be painful to think about. I was looking through our correspondence the other day and ran across the story that H wrote for the paper about our wedding day.

Hard to believe now that the same person wrote it. I'm tempted to make a copy of it and give it to him but I don't know if that's such a good idea.

I understand a lot better now about how vulnerable I am. When I was being warned about protecting myself by everyone, I totally understood this intellectually but I just didn't think it would really be that way, I didn't think I'd feel anything for anyone because of the damage H inflicted upon my psyche.

Since Wednesday, I now understand a LOT better. I am going to have to lock myself away at home when I'm not taking care of my grandma. Well, I guess I don't have to be that extreme but as close to it as I can get!
Hi RIF!

Thank you for reminding me about the WS handbook, I need all the reminding I can get!

And the exposure...my mind tends to not remember these positive actions that were taken when I'm thinking about H and the A.

I hope you have a nice trip, if that's the kind of trip you are taking. If it's anything else, watch your back!

I'll look forward to your safe return.

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte you're doing great - 11/25/07 05:12 PM
Thanks Melody!

Going to study now...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/25/07 05:26 PM
Quote
It will be painful to think about. I was looking through our correspondence the other day and ran across the story that H wrote for the paper about our wedding day.

Hard to believe now that the same person wrote it. I'm tempted to make a copy of it and give it to him but I don't know if that's such a good idea.

I think you should attach it to your Plan B letter. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> And when you send him the letter, I would send a copy to the OW. Dr. Harley recommends doing this because it puts more pressure on the OP.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Everything you feel is natural - 11/25/07 05:41 PM
Thanks, Melody!

I will do that. I'm getting a good feel for the Plan B letter from the link you gave me.

I'm going to do my best not to overdo it! I guess there is a tendency for BS's to want to do that since no one really knows if it's a "goodbye forever" letter.
Posted By: The_411 Oof Plan B - 11/25/07 07:07 PM
I won't lie it's been very difficult thus far and I'm only 17 days into NC. I think it will get easier.


I always loved being around her family so missing out on Thankssgiving was bad and it was componded by going to Santa Barbara which had loads of triggers for me. I was very angry this last weekend.

Felt depreived of having my second family and of course the love of my life.

However, I keep up hope went to a mission and prayed and I often pray that she'll gain the insight to stop what she's doing.


Make sure you keep yourself busy in Plan B and do things that make you happy and keep you feeling peaceful. It's hard but once you can find things to do that keep you satisfied eventually you think about H less and less.

It's strange that when we finally move on people seem to get an inkling that were gone and they begin to pursue.




Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oof Plan B - 11/25/07 09:01 PM
Hi 411,

Sounds like you're doing a pretty good job in Plan B. As for triggers I guess one of the hardest things is going to be family members asking about H. I know my mom won't ask if I ask her not to mention him.

My g'ma is a different story because she suffers from mild dementia and she'll probably bring H up. I guess I can just go behind the barn and scream if this happens.

I'll have to let everyone else know what's up so that doesn't happen, I guess.

Thanksgiving was bad but it was probably worse for H...my cooking was always a big thing for him. I got out of that for a while when I was depressed.

As to your last line, I hear that a lot. I can't help but hope this to be the case with us.

But I was thinking about how right now he has a choice about contacting me and he chooses not to, up to this point after the hearing. Well, soon the choice will be removed.

I guess that he is trying to control me this way and once that control is removed he really won't have anything left to hurt me with, will he?

Except for money but I won't need to call him, just my lawyer so the order can be enforced.

I don't know if he'd do that since he's so afraid of jail, but he might. At the very least he might delay the transfer for a few days or something. He was sure trying to "get" me after exposure using money as a weapon.

Thanks for your input, 411...I hope I "see" you around and best of luck to you in your Plan B!!!!!
Posted By: The_411 Thanks Charlotte - 11/25/07 10:01 PM
I apperciate the kind words. Triggers are certainly interesting and people asking about your H is hard. Just think that they are coming from a place of love and they are asking about H not WH.

I have no idea what Thanksgiving was like for my WxGF although she didn't even tell her patents about our split for more than a week.

I've learned that waywards want to be in control. One the control is gone they will still be wayward but they start to realize that you are above control and generally respect yourself more than to be controlled. They tend to look at you differently, like you're a leader and don't need them.

He can only hurt you if you let him. Plan B is to remove that capability from his arsenal by blocking his WS crap from reaching you.

I'll be around I'm sure. I don't think you'd want to see me as I fit into the Italian profile although I'm not smarmy. I'm just one of the good guys.

Best of luck in your Plan B and keep posting as this board can give you great strength and empathy when you're hurting.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks Charlotte - 11/25/07 10:17 PM
Hi 411!!


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I apperciate the kind words.

You're welcome! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Quote
Triggers are certainly interesting and people asking about your H is hard. Just think that they are coming from a place of love and they are asking about H not WH.

This is a good point! I hadn't thought of it that way! Thanks!

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I have no idea what Thanksgiving was like for my WxGF although she didn't even tell her patents about our split for more than a week.

She was too ashamed to say anything, maybe?

Quote
I've learned that waywards want to be in control. One the control is gone they will still be wayward but they start to realize that you are above control and generally respect yourself more than to be controlled. They tend to look at you differently, like you're a leader and don't need them.

I LOVE this! So true! I've had but a taste of the control issue from H and it was quite enough! (I guess he thinks he's like the ending of the album "2112"...where the lyrics are, "WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL!") Yeah, we all know what "assume" does, though, don't we? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

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He can only hurt you if you let him. Plan B is to remove that capability from his arsenal by blocking his WS crap from reaching you.

And I'm not going to let him, either. He's done quite enough of that.

Quote
I'll be around I'm sure. I don't think you'd want to see me as I fit into the Italian profile although I'm not smarmy. I'm just one of the good guys.

LMAO!! Of COURSE I want to see you. I'm a fun-lovin' Czech-German (mostly German)...I love everybody! Just don't wear any skimpy shorts!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

And you are a good guy. I'm sorry that you are experiencing this horror with your WxGF. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anybody in the world.

I enjoy talking to you, though. Even though we met under not so great circumstances.

Quote
Best of luck in your Plan B and keep posting as this board can give you great strength and empathy when you're hurting.

Thank you! I almost wish I was in B right now. At least I'd know H's control over me was removed. I'll keep posting as long as I can type. They'll have to pry the keyboard from my cold, dead fingers!
Posted By: Observing Re: Thanks Charlotte - 11/25/07 10:49 PM
Quote
Of COURSE I want to see you. I'm a fun-lovin' Czech-German (mostly German)...I love everybody! Just don't wear any skimpy shorts!!

Heeeeeey, wait a minute here.

Do I detect some FLIRTING?

I couldn't tease (using a wink icon) about SHORTS on my thread (it was locked down).

What's with this thread?

Don't get me wrong. Charlotte (so far) has been my "wonder woman". So was SexyMamaBear before she had an A along side her husband, after she had given up.

And here I am truly faithful to my husband (in thought, word and deed) but WITHOUT my original thread.

Okay, my thread became emotional toward the end after I came under false accusations, but before that you couldn't find anything questionable.

Where's the fairness?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks Charlotte - 11/25/07 11:26 PM
Hi Observing!

No, no no no no no no no no!! No flirting!!

RIF started the thing with the skimpy Italians in shorts...I mean the Italians in skimpy shorts so I was just referring to that.

Believe me, I HAVE LEARNED MY LESSON WELL! <<<(not shouting, here, just emphasis! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> ) I will NOT be flirting, nor will I be in touch with my attorney unless absolutely necessary.

I am not going to fall into the same trap that H has fallen into. The kids have been through enough. Even though they are very angry at him and would think he deserved it, ultimately I would be just the same in their eyes, a low-down, dirty adulterer.

If any man tries to touch me, I have my favorite line from the Planet of the Apes all picked out, "Get your stinkin' paws off me you damn dirty ape!!" At this point I'd likely say the same thing to H. Welllll, maybe... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: The_411 Apperciate the sentiments - 11/26/07 12:42 AM


As far as my WxGF I'd like to think she's too embarrassed to call over Thanksgivingbut last time we talked was taking me off her cell phone bill and perhaps adding OM with a pay as you go phone. Not sure as she cut me off after I was taken off.

Strangely enough she's pissed at me whereas I still love her.

In our last few face to face encounters I tried discussing reconciliation but after we separated.

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a terrible time as well.

From what I gathered Plan B seems like a good shot for you in your situation.

In my case I'm Plan B'ing to maintian my sanity, save any love I have for her, and grow and work on me.

So far in a month you've done quite a bit. Just keep working for your own sanity as you can't control him.

I'll be doing the same.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Apperciate the sentiments - 11/26/07 01:16 AM
Hi 411,

Thank you! I know, I can hardly believe that it's only been a month that has passed. Compared to the molasses days when I waited and waited and waited for H to come home at night or the day of the weekend where he "worked" ha ha...

It kinda freaks me out. It feels a lot longer.

I hope your GF comes around. I hope H comes around. I know it will tick him off when he can't control me anymore.

But that's okay. I need my sanity. Removal from the ugliness of the A sounds like Heaven to me right now.

I can hardly wait until the inventory is finished and he gets some personal belongings that the judge is allowing him to pick up. Then it's bye-bye Birdie!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, I have a joke... - 11/26/07 01:22 AM
It's stupid but it's funny under the right conditions. Works best at parties where folks are just a "little" inebriated but it can work to confuse the heck out of someone who is sober.

Stop me if you know it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Three monkeys are in the tub taking a bubble bath. The first monkey says to the last monkey, "Pass the soap." The middle monkey says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?"

Then laugh laugh laugh. Works best when there are others who know it and laugh along with you. I know, it's kinda mean.

I had a friend who LOVED to tell this stupid joke. He got away with it a lot, too.

Kinda like, What do a bicycle and a guitar have in common? Neither one can climb a tree.

Oh, boy, I need some new material!

I guess I'd do better by posting that recipe believer asked for. I'll try to do that tonight.
Posted By: The_411 Thank you for the response - 11/26/07 01:28 AM
It's only been 2 months since d-day and everything still feels like a nightmare that I can't wake up from.

Yep, I know what you mean the time apart feels like ages and my WxGF seems to only have been a dream.

I think the same is true for most WS they want that control so desperately because it enables them to feel like they're doing something without consequence.

There you go stay strong and take up something you always wanted to try.

Learn a foreign language, take up a new hobby, go skydiving.

Keep yourself busy and try to set aside a specific period time to think about H. You can do anything during that time but once it's over then try to not to think about H.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thank you for the response - 11/26/07 05:47 AM
Hi 411,

Thanks, I'll try my best so I don't think about H, he has got me p.o.'ed right now. I'm having an "H" moment.

Looks like I'll be taking those flying lessons after all. H used to tease me...I'm afraid to fly on commercial jets and in fact I never have. So you're going to get in a tiny plane and fly? he laughed. Of course. It's different because your life is in your hands, not someone else's that you don't know! I told him.

I'm going to rant now so please bear with me:

I am so disgusted with H and his crap. Right now I'm just really, really mad.

How dare he treat me this way? How dare he go out and have an A while I was sick! I didn't grab the UPS guy and shag him when H was sick. I didn't run away when we were having problems with DS25. I felt like leaving, too. But I didn't. I knew that we would get through it together, just like always.

So he can't allow the same respect for me on my end. Well, SCREW HIM!

He's going to end up like my FIL, ALONE and rattling around in a big house with no one but himself. If he's lucky. He might end up rattling around under a bridge.

And what's he going to do if he doesn't quit the drugs and his system gives out? I'm sure OW will find him very attractive when he's on dialysis. Because that's where he's headed.

For Pete's sake, he was 17 when she was born! That is just SO disgusting. At least he was 10 when I was born. No weirdness there. He hadn't even reached puberty.

Sometimes I just feel like packing what I can pack and getting the heck out of Dodge. I can go to Colorado, my best friend lives there. My bro lives in SF but I'd rather avoid the quakes. My sis lives in Lafayette. So at least there are two places that are good. Or what the "f," I'll just go to New York.

Stay a while, then I'll catch the QEII, she sails to Southampton. The reverse trip of the Titanic. Okay, I can do that. I just won't think about rogue waves and stuff. The voyage is like 8 days long. It would be fun! Then I can just roam around Europe. My bro went to school in the Netherlands and he has a lot of people he knows that would help me if I asked him.

It's just so tempting to want to get away from this crap. And then H is going to punish me with no contact because my lawyer is protecting me from H? The irony just kills me. It would be funny if it weren't so tragic.

It would be the next great sitcom. Right now it's like one of those dang friggin' soap operas that never end.

With no reruns on the soap network.

He should be ashamed of himself. If his mom was alive she'd be so disgusted with him! How could he do what he did with OWH looking so pale and sad!

My H has NO heart anymore. He is PURE EVIL. I just don't know if I can wait another week or two until that inventory is done. Maybe I should Plan B now and let someone else be here for the inventory.

If I saw him right now I'd let him have it so bad that the LB's could never be counter-acted with deposits in the Love Bank.

I would punch him in the gut and give him the good ol' Vulcan neck-pinch, right where he has a problem with his neck. I think I could beat the crap out of him with no problem. And I'm only 5'3". H is 5'11" and way heavier than me.

Well, thanks for letting me rant...otherwise I might find the hammer and redecorate the walls to look like Swiss cheese.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well... - 11/26/07 11:23 AM
I guess I really let H have it in my last post. I'm not going to delete it. I never really let him have it. The only time I shouted at him was the Sunday night before Exposure.

He wouldn't talk to me...denied denied denied.

I finally got frustrated after one thing he said, I don't even remember what it was...

And I shouted at him, "Why don't you just say her name??!! I know all you want to do is f**k her!!!!"

That's about it. Then he went in to trash me in IM with that b*tch. He didn't tell her what I said, though.

Made up plenty of other crap, though.

I guess I'll just resign myself to the fact that I might never see Jonesy again. He might be lost forever, replaced by Mr. Gray. I don't want to believe this but I am not having any luck talking myself out of it.

So I'll go into Plan B in the right frame of mind. If Jonesy doesn't escape the alien I will have to accept it.

There's a big old world out there and plenty of things I want to do and see.

Now I can do anything I want, except become involved in another romantic relationship. That's okay with me. I can't trust any men right now.

Well, I guess I'll try to sleep a couple more hours. I've been up since 3am unable to fall asleep again.

Have a good morning, Everyone.

Thanks for putting up with me.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Well... - 11/26/07 02:14 PM
Hope you got a bit more sleep. Insomnia's a bugger.
Posted By: RIF Re: Well... - 11/26/07 02:42 PM
Quote
I can't trust any men right now.
...not even me??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte!

I'm back!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Remember, your feelings are your feelings... focus on the facts!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Well... - 11/26/07 04:19 PM
Nice vent.

Personally, I don't find the nonsense jokes funny, so stop me if I've written this before:

Two guys in the dog park are chatting while their dogs play. Time flies and pretty soon it is lunch time. Their stomachs are growling.

Guy 1: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's head over to Chez Foux over there and have lunch.

Guy 2: We can't get inside that place. We have the dogs.

Guy 1: Of course we can. Watch me. (He takes out a pair of dark glasses and puts them on, then walks over to Chez Foux.)

Guy 1: [to Maitre de] I wish a table for lunch please.

Maitre de: I'm sorry sir, I cannot seat you here because dogs are not allowed.

Guy 1: My good man, I am blind and this is a seeing eye dog.

Maitre de: [Apologetic] I beg your pardon; please come along with me. I will seat you immediately.

Now, Guy 2 is watching all this, and he knows he can also have lunch at Chez Foux. He pulls out his dark glasses and heads over with his dog.

Guy 2: Please seat me for lunch.

Maitre de: Sir, I regret I cannot allow you to enter with your dog. Dogs are not allowed in the restaurant. It is a state law.

Guy 2: Pardon me, but I am blind and this is a seeing eye dog.

Maitre de: Sir, that is not a seeing eye dog. It is a Chihuaha.

Guy 2: THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHA?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 11/26/07 04:47 PM
Hi Dobie,

Thank you. Amazingly, I was actually able to fall asleep again for a little while.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 11/26/07 04:51 PM
Hi RIF!

Thank you! I am getting Spock back now, I think. Spock will have to carry me for a long time now. Facts. Not feelings. No problemo.

Quote
...not even me???


Okay, you got me there, RIF! There are one or two exceptions. You're one.

I hope you are doing well, I guess it'll be time for shuteye pretty soon so get some good rest!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 11/26/07 04:53 PM
Thanks, Bellevue!

The rant did make me feel a little better.

LOL! with the Chihuahua!

That was a good one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine I am getting ready... - 11/26/07 05:00 PM
Because I know H is going to come over here and act like a jerk when it's time for the inventory. He is going to try and push my buttons and pull my strings and it's not going to work. That's all.

I have plenty of time to prepare mentally for this. While I am a bit afraid I know I can Plan A until I give him the Plan B letter on his way out.

I really don't want WH back. Just H. I know it was suggested that I write down H's former good qualities and the good things about our former R, forgive me, I can't remember who suggested it.

I'm not going to be able to do this right at this moment. It's going to be a few days. It hurts too much to look back at our wonderful memories right now.

But I WILL do it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:10 PM
I just got a call from my lawyer. Apparently someone has been calling H's work and making threats. I have not called that office...only the corporate office.

I told my lawyer the name of the gentleman I spoke with re: the affair and that I was trying to get help for H's addiction.

I have NEVER called H's office and threatened anyone or made threats. I told my lawyer that my phone bills are an open book if anyone wants to investigate.

I am just damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Now I am upset again. What the heck?!?!

That is really low.

I have to go see my lawyer this afternoon to go over the agreement. If I'm not too upset to drive.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:26 PM
"Apparently" - did the caller leave a name or phone number?

I'm about to do my only daily exercise now. I am jumping to a conclusion, something I do quite well.

I'm concluded that WH's lawyer said something to your lawyer about your exposure to the HR office. That WH's lawyer exaggerated and multiplied your one call to "several" calls in an effort to scare you into shutting up.

That is my conclusion. Now, darnit, I'm all out of breath.

But, does it help in bringing Spock back in charge?
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:30 PM
It also wouldn't be surprising if the OW herself was calling WH's office and "threatening" while pretending to be Charlotte...in order to further anger the WH and divide them.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:31 PM
Quote
Apparently someone has been calling H's work and making threats. I have not called that office...only the corporate office.

Sounds like WH might have been called on the carpet as a result of your call and now he's calling his lawyer to complain. Remember, WS are notorious for twisting the truth. Don't worry about it if that's the only call you've made. OTOH, is it possible that OWH's could do something like that?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:31 PM
cathys01, are you also out of breath? And you, princess meggy?

Vicarously enjoying this because I am viewing it as a natural consequence of exposure. Predicting that after it passes, it will be like a gas bubble in a swamp, forgotten, in the success of your rebuilt marriage.

It's a good sign! Right, girls?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:34 PM
Hi Bellevue,

Yes, it will help with Spock in charge, especially in light of this recent call from my lawyer.

The letter they received from opposing counsel stated that the calls were anonymous.

I have done no such thing. I have better things to do than make juvenile phone calls and do drive-bys. The only two drive-bys I even did were:

1. I accidentally drove by on the day I exposed to OWH. I didn't know I was even on that blvd. until I saw the office.

2. I drove by one night after a visit with Mel to see if H was there as he claimed. No. I didn't expect him to be there anyway.

And that is IT.

I told my lawyer on the first day we met that I had called HR and informed them about the affair. I mentioned it on subsequent visits also.

He has the name of the contact in HR.

But you might be right...H could have twisted it the way you mentioned.

Well, bring on the lie dectector test then. Here are my phone records and the phone records of my family.

If H wants to be rid of me so bad...why can't he leave me alone? He is still trying to punish me for his affair.

How sick and disgusting.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:36 PM
Good point, cathys01.

I believe she is VERY capable of doing such a thing.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:40 PM
Charlotte22, It is completely illogical that a woman would expose her H's affair openly and identifying herself, and thereafter make anonymous contact. What would be the point?

Anonymous exposure is cowardly. You declared yourself, vulnerable and open. You are credible, your face is right out there.

It makes no sense at all to change tactics. You have nothing to hide.

If this is your H making things up, remember he is fogbound. It is your WH, not your H.

If it is the OW's H, poor man does not have the wisdom and strength of MB for support.

If it is the OW, well, we all know what she is.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:40 PM
Hi princess meggy, how are you today?

You are right about H being called on the carpet. That email that he sent about the hornet's nest was about that. The last time I spoke to the gentleman in HR...I HAD to tell him that H spies on other's emails.

So they wouldn't discuss the investigation in emails and give H a head's up. And also because it's wrong. HR said they would take care of that immediately.

Oh, and also in the letter, my lawyer said that it says, "If these calls continue, H will lose his job." H will probably lose his job anyway and not because of phantom phone calls, if they are phantom.

I don't think OWH would do this. Plus he knows a lot of people in the office there so he gets info from them. No, I don't think OWH would do that. It would be beneath him, IMO.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:42 PM
I hope it is a good sign. Apparently H is not too busy to try and poke THIS monster with a stick. Well, this monster has integrity.

Poking with an ugly lie stick will not work.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:46 PM
Thanks, Bellevue,

That's what I'M screamin'!

It wouldn't make any sense at all for me to do that. I have been nothing but above board about exposure.

I swear.

Well, I guess I will laugh about this someday. Right now it's just sad and disheartening.

Too much idle time for H? Nothing better to do? What about spending time with OW like he wanted to so badly? And to get rid of me? Why doesn't he just leave me alone, then?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:48 PM
I guess I'm going to go shower now. I need to get some packages to the p.o. before I leave for my attorney's office.

I don't know if he's going to even want to dignify this crap with a reply but I hope so. Because I WILL take a LD test. I have NOTHING to hide.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 05:49 PM
Danger! Danger, Will Robinson!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:06 PM
And I'm betting dollars to doughnuts that he had his attorney draft that letter on THE day of the hearing.

No bout adout it.
Posted By: Orchid Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:10 PM
C22,

Seems like things have been busy your way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I would recommend you differentiate a title for your H. Call him a WS or someother descriptive unique WS type of word to identify when he is being a Ws vs when he actually is acting like your H. It is a mental marker of sorts that is quite helpful so you don't lose the love for your H as quickly. Just a suggestion. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Here's another.... call OW, Mrs. __________ or give her a real good OW type name. I called mine both Mrs. River (her real married last name was named after a river <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> ) or with a slight variation to her maiden name (Chewed - LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> ) or PBR (psycho babble rabbit). Depending on who I was speaking with (i.e. WS, police, supporters, MB, etc.) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> This showed the OW didn't have a real space in my life and she was not a friend (like she claimed she wanted to be.... imagine the gall of that OW..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> )

Btw, I loved the jokes. We used to tell some pretty funny ones during our days of misery.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I learned the ability to keep one's sense of humor while all this chaos goes on around you, shows your can heal and move forward. This in turn is a big kick in the shins to the WS (they don't like to see us happy). You can also use that humor to keep things balanced. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

As for the so-called phone threats, I would meet that challenge head on. Here's why - In our case, the OW via the WS threatened to call my work and get me fired. I was a manager at the time. OW (PBR) 'claimed' she knew people at work and was able to wield enough power to do so. Hmmph.... well I was around before that company went public so if she really knew anyone, I would know them also and my reputation was already defined. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> So I met it head on. I went to my director and HR rep. My director already knew about WS and the A. He supported me as much as he could. HR went one step further, they offered me security support for my PC, laptop, phone (trace calls if needed) and escort to my vehicle as needed. They said they would notify me if any such letter was received. It never was. OW was full of hot air (already knew that.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ).

So yea.... in your case it c/b something blown out of proportion or the OW calling to make trouble. Either way it wasn't you so ask your lawyer to demand work find out the source of those calls so you can file that someone has been attempting to impersonate you.

Instead of being afraid or angry, use this as an opportunity to give a swift kick the A in it's belly. Let your lawyer know you are angry at whoever is trying to impersonate you.

Might be good to let your support group know 1st, just in case one of them is doing this as an attempt to help you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:23 PM
Thank you, Orchid!

I am still trying to calm down before I get in the shower and drown myself because I am cussing H out.

Let's see. H is Mr. Gray right now and Mr. Gray was the epitome of evil alien wanting to take over the world with the help of the "weasels"...one of the most painful ways to take over mankind!!

Or how about Kahn? Then I can shout, "KHAAAAAAAAAAAN" And we all know how Kirk and company took care of Khan's [censored] in the movie.

You're right about the phone calls, that is a good idea. I am going to urge my L to pursue this and not sweep it under the table. I know he might want to because it is so ridiculous but this crap just isn't right.

So yes, I am going to discuss with him just what you suggested. That is a very good idea. I hadn't thought of that. I was just thinking LD test and subpoena my phone records...but forget the subpoena, just TAKE them!

Names for OW: "The Thing that Wouldn't Leave" "Return of the 50-foot W***e" "Little B***H Riding Hood"

Well, I guess I need something shorter! Slag. That's a good one.

I'll think it over.

My mom is like: Why don't you tell him to f off already? I said well, he'll be getting the PBL soon.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:29 PM
Let's keep her in character, Charlotte, I'll share our XOW's name with you the slimy, disgusting "Jabba the Hut"
Jabba for short..Mine even looked like him other than she wasn't green. GF
Posted By: SIHW Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:35 PM
How about just...The Thing...didn't you see that movie with Kurt russel.....creepy and gory...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:36 PM
LMAO over here, GF!!!!

That's a good one. Maybe I'll take you up on your offer with a slight modification.

Yeah, you already know what's coming. Jabba the S**t. Or Jabba the S**t Hutt.

I would use the word "Phlegm" but I formerly used it as an endearing term for my sister for a time. I'd like to keep that one. Yeah, I know...a term of endearment? We had a lot of fun with that one, she and I.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:39 PM
You're right, surviving.

And she is "The Thing" in my sig line.

I'm still contemplating.

How 'bout Mrs. Ripley as in Matt Damon's name in the movie? Naw, I don't want to contaminate Ripley since she was a heroine in the "Alien" saga. I would have to be Ellen Ripley.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:42 PM
I love your literary creativity!!!! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> GF
Posted By: SIHW Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 06:54 PM
Quote
You're right, surviving.

And she is "The Thing" in my sig line.

I'm still contemplating.

How 'bout Mrs. Ripley as in Matt Damon's name in the movie? Naw, I don't want to contaminate Ripley since she was a heroine in the "Alien" saga. I would have to be Ellen Ripley.

ahhh the alien saga my favorite.....you could always call her a xenomorph....the technical term for the "aliens".....I know I am a big dork. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 07:02 PM
I called mine "Little Miss Dow Corning" (breast implants) and/or "Mother Theresa with Breast Implants" -

I just don't have the knack for short, quippy nicknames.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 07:10 PM
AHHH...another Silicone SALLY!!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 07:53 PM
I sometimes kindly referred to OW#2 as AquaLungs for two very obvious reasons. LOL
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, get this... - 11/26/07 08:08 PM
LMAO!!! Ya'll are funny!!!

I'll be back later to talk OW monikers.

I'm leaving for my attorney's office now.

I'm going to be thinking of good names on the way there and back.
Posted By: The_411 It's all natural, Charlotte - 11/26/07 08:21 PM
Some days I am seething asking how could my WxGF be such an absolute selfish [censored].

Not only is she screwing up her life, but the MM's the OMW's their kids my life, my families life her families etc.

That's the problem with A's the collateral damage that is done.

You have right to be angry absolutely.

The thing that always scares me is how easy it is to fall prey to evil ways when you let the anger take over.

I didn't like who I was this las Thanksgiving weekend. I berated my mother and acted so indignant and selfish.

I was projecting my anger towards my WxGF onto my mother and just about anyone who loves me.

It was in this weekend I began to better understand what my WxGF dealt with on a daily basis.

Even with medications it's got to be very difficult to fight the temptation to have things be easy and calm.

I suspect my WxGf has bipolar II which explains a lot of her behavior.

My guess is that your H may also be Bipolar or manic.

People with these conditions tend to have hypomanic episodes where they are overly exhuberant followed by deep depressive periods.

The better one takes care of one's self the better they are able to control these episodes.

Intense IC is needed to help resovle a lot of these issues.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: It's all natural, Charlotte - 11/26/07 08:40 PM
Thank you wonderful people for calming her down. I just love you guys! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: It's all natural, Charlotte - 11/26/07 08:42 PM
SQUEEEE!!!! Group Hug {{{{}}}}
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 12:35 AM
Thank you Melody, GF, surviving, 411, Bellevue, princess meggy and everybody who helped me calm down about that letter.

I cried when I saw it, though. My lawyer said don't worry about it and don't let him get to you. You didn't make those threats so forget about it.

I told him I was worried that Mr. Gray might bully me when it comes time for the inventory and to get the few things he's allowed and my lawyer said, "No he ain't!!" I thought it was kinda funny/cute...I didn't think I'd hear a lawyer say "ain't" unless the lawyer is Racehorse Haynes! Or Mike and [censored] Deguerin (there! I knew I'd remember their names dang it! Not sure about the spelling, though.)

So the best response is no response, which is what I suspected he would say and I think that's probably right.

If it comes down to another letter going to my lawyer about phantom phone calls then we are going to take action. It wouldn't surprise me at all if this were to happen. I bet I could be on the other side of the world out of phone contact and still get accused of this.

So anyway, Slag-Ugly will be getting a letter with Mr. Gray's arrest video, and the affidavit that he needs to sign. I wrote the letter last night and my editor Melody revised it.

It was a little too "business as usual" so now it's worded much better.

I'm sure my lawyer will be getting a letter about this, too. Well, if I was REALLY a B, I would just NOT send the thing at all and torch it. I could screw Mr. Gray so bad about this, he just doesn't know how bad. He'd lose his license and it would look even worse for him in court. I know he's forgotten about the affidavit. He hasn't been taking care of crap since the A and he almost burned that precious car of his (ours) up.

He came home whining one day in late August or early September about the car making a funny noise. I asked him if he checked the fluids. No. So I went out and checked everything: oil, transmission, brake, power-steering. Guess what...there was next to NO transmission fluid in that car. If he'd have driven it a couple of more times back and forth to work, the transmission would have been toast. The dipstick didn't even register any fluid, just a couple of damp spots that came from the sides, NOTHING in the well.

I could have let the dang car burn. What did I care? He was using it to further his A. But I didn't.

After these accusations, of COURSE I feel like screwing him with the affidavit and wish I had screwed him with the car. And the other paperwork that needed to be filed with the court that he forgot about.

I'm obviously not going to do that but that doesn't change the fact that I FEEL like doing it.

Just let him pull this crap with the phone call bit again. My lawyer is going to let him have it. He is quite disgusted with Mr. Gray.

I told him that Mr. Gray is killing the love I have left for Jonesy. I don't want to lose that love. But it's getting there.

Maybe I should just mail the PBL and not be here when he comes. I don't know. I'll try and tough it out. At least I will have protection from his wrath.

Oh, and another thing...Mr. Gray cannot remove any of the stuff that's being inventoried until it is appraised independently. He thought he was going to have a hand in the appraisal (yeah, RIGHT.) So that means it will still be here after the photo session(s) until appraisal. Great.

Well, he's still getting the PBL and someone else can be here when he picks up the "junk" as he tried to refer to it the other day in court.

So now he's lying to his lawyer. Big surprise. That's two lawyers he's lied to already because he's not been forthcoming with the criminal lawyer. He's probably going to end up in jail.

I wrote my lawyer a long and detailed account the week before court so that he'd be prepared if there was any mudslinging. He knows everything, warts and all. That's the way it's supposed to be. I don't know why Mr. Gray can't understand that. Well, cue Elvis for Mr. Gray, then.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 12:36 AM
Sorry that was so long. I couldn't help it!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 12:46 AM
Quote
Sorry that was so long. I couldn't help it!

we lub you too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 12:49 AM
Awwwwww...Thanks surviving!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 01:05 AM
Oh yeah, just one more thing:

The letter was dated THE DAY of the hearing so I was right on that point, too.

Post-hearing revenge.

Geez, those crumb-bums need to get a life.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 01:06 AM
Quote
I didn't think I'd hear a lawyer say "ain't"

LOL Charlotte!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Mr. W is a lawyer that says "ain't"...Course that is usually when his yankee butt is tryin' to sound all Southern and folksy, thinkin' this will somehow endear him to whoever he's talkin' to...Silly Yankee doesn't get that no matter what he says, or how he says it, he's still just a Scallywag Carpetbaggin' YANKEE (I love him anyway though)!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Sounds like you have a good handle on things Charlotte...Really, it may not feel like it all the time, but you are doing GREAT!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 01:20 AM
Thanks Mrs. W!!!

That's a great story about Mr. W. Mr. Gray is a Yankee, too. My grandpa used to tease him about it sometimes.

He has lived in Texas long enough to qualify as a Texan, though. But now I just want to kick his butt out.

Yeah, that "ain't" thing was pretty funny!!

Thanks for supporting me because sometimes it DOESN"T feel like I'm doing all that great.

But hey, I didn't call Mr. Gray and chew him out about these false allegations. I could very easily have done that.

That's probably what he was hoping for.

Well, no worky-worky Mr. Jerky-Jerky!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 01:29 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I'll be in a conference all day today so I won't be around much on the Night-Shift...

Just wanted to say "hi" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Thanks you guys! - 11/27/07 01:36 AM
Hi RIF!!

Thanks for letting me know! I'll probably be ranting and raving all night about Mr. Gray and his shenanigans.

Or not!!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, how's this for GROSS!!!???? - 11/27/07 04:35 AM
I was out and about running errands, minding my own business and this "cowboy" or more appropriately "faux cowboy" comes up to me and asks me to participate in a threesome with him and his girlfriend.

I'm like, "Huh?!" No THANK you, I AM MARRIED!!" Well, I didn't thank him but I darn sure told him I was married.

What is it? Do some predators just sense this sort of thing? Like in the wild kingdom of animals? Sensing the weak?

That's just disgusting! I wouldn't participate in such a thing even if I WASN'T weak.

I guess I can't even go out and run errands for Pete's sake!

Yuck and then some! And this kid was young enough to have been my own. I mean, GROSS!!!

Eeeewwwwwwww! Anyone from Texas wanna run my errands for me?
Posted By: Orchid Re: Okay, how's this for GROSS!!!???? - 11/27/07 06:30 AM
Could it be that someone setup that 'cowboy' to test you? Betcha there was a camera nearby desperately trying to trap you but you were smarter than those A activists <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.

L.
You know, Orchid...that could be true. I hadn't even thought of that!

Well, they are going to have to come up with a better trap, if indeed it was them. And they aren't going to get me. So they might as well quit now.

If this kind of strange crap keeps happening I really will have to leave town.

Meanwhile, I'm up again after a strange dream. Some guy was trying to give me muscle relaxers and following me around trying to "get" me. Dang! What happened to those H.R. Puf-n-Stuf dreams? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Okay, get this... - 11/27/07 03:10 PM
Going Forward, Silicone Sally is better than mine. Short, neat. Aqualungs too, really cute, princess meggy.
Posted By: The_411 Heh Charlotte - 11/27/07 04:03 PM
That same type of thing happened to me in Reno about 7 years ago. A guy came up to me and wanted me to "film" he and his wife for $500.00. Needless to say I quickly declined as it way off my radar.

Some people have open marriages. Laff I asked my WxGF if that's what she wanted after I found out she cheated jsut to see what she was angling at. She vehemently said no so I guess she just wants someone to validate her but she's way too jealous and posseive to let anyone she's invovled be interested with someone else. She was accusing of texting or calling my other girlfriend once she got into the A. It irked her that I didn't look at other women. I told her I'm in lvoe with you so I don't need to look. Women may be pretty or attractive but I was never tempted in the slightest.

I've always been a one woman guy.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Heh Charlotte - 11/27/07 06:14 PM
Hi 411!

Yeah, that's pretty gross! That sort of thing has never been my cup o' tea. I have always been a one-man woman. Mr. Gray was like you until his A. A one-woman man.

HA! (the jerk)

There are some people around here, well, some of them are dead now but there are a few of that old crowd left. They used to do that spouse-swapping thing. I was a little kid and I knew these people but I didn't find out about that sordid stuff 'til later. Some of their children even have some questionable ancestry now. Ugh! eeeeew!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Heh Charlotte - 11/27/07 07:13 PM
While my DH and I were separated an older couple approached him at a club. The husband told my DH that he wanted to "buy" DH for his wife's birthday. That was too weird for my DH even as far gone as he was at the time. Yuck!!
Posted By: The_411 Open Marriages are strange - 11/27/07 07:24 PM
Never understood why people wanted to be married and philander. Sort of defeats the concept of marriage I guess.

I'd like my GF back please. funny thing she was so anti-A saying things like I cant' see movies with a certain actress because she broke up so and so's marriage.

Oops <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Heh Charlotte - 11/27/07 07:26 PM
Eeeewwww! princess meggy!

That's like "Indecent Proposal" all over again! Yuck!

I hated that movie.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Open Marriages are strange - 11/27/07 07:31 PM
Oh, I SO agree, 411! Mr. Gray was the same way! He couldn't stand cheating and philandering in others. Whether in real life or movies and TV.

He always spoke of them with nothing but scorn and dumped a guy friend of his forever because he was such a cad.

I'm like that, too. It's hard to watch anything with people who've had an illicit affair. There are so many, you almost can't watch anything!!

I'm still p.o.'ed at Burt Reynolds because of what he did to Loni Anderson. I never liked Tom Cruise and I disliked him even more after what he did to Nicole.

Those are only two. I'll leave it at that! The list would go on forever! Yeah, Brad Armpit and Angelina Holey, too.
Posted By: The_411 Sigh, I think the acceptance of adultery ... - 11/27/07 08:00 PM
has been fed by those academy award winning movies like the English patient.

Certainly it seems we need an anti-adultery docu drama to show people how much they screw people's lives over.

I should have known when my WxGF was watching The Lives of Others she was using it to justify her affair.

This type of thing makes me want to write a movie to show the pain and despair it causes everyone involved.

One would think looking at the people on the Jerry Springer show would work but since most are so close to the lunatic fringe no one looks too closely at the effects and they down play the effects as only those that effect those "lowert class folks".

to that I say BS!
You're right, 411.

I have never seen The English Patient and now I know I won't!

Really, this needs to be addressed. Someone needs to have the guts to go for it and expose adultery for the ugly, nasty monster that it is.

Agreed as to Jerry Springer. I'd love to get them to call OW, though. OWH told me that that's her greatest fear! Just for them to call her and scare the s**t out of her would make my day! And put pressure on the A!
Posted By: The_411 I'd love to do it - 11/27/07 08:22 PM
and I do have a former Hs classmate who is a director but he does comedies. So for the time being I jsut stick to writing everything out for a book.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I'd love to do it - 11/27/07 09:11 PM
Maybe you can talk to him about it. Lots of directors break genre and do really well at it.

Whenever Mr. Gray comes out of the fog, etc. (I'm talking best case scenario here) we should do an infidelity documentary instead of that CB/Ham documentary we were going to do.

That would be much better. Hey, why not a collaboration? The more the merrier and everyone here that's comfortable with it could share their experiences. Maybe we could even get an interview with Doc Harley if he was open to this. We might have to ask permission anyway.

Of course, I don't know how much should be released about this place. We'd probably have to do it and not even mention MB. I dunno!
Posted By: Pariah Re: I'd love to do it - 11/27/07 09:18 PM
What would be far more entertaining is WS's and OP's justifying their behavior on videotape.

We'd call it FOG'ovision.
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: I'd love to do it - 11/27/07 09:20 PM
Totally on board with the Hollywood version of adultrey. So YUCKY!! I boycott a whole lot of movies and TV shows since my WH's A (for the record, I now hate Grey's Anatomy!!) LOL..

But if memory serves me correctly, in the English Patient the adulterous wife ends up dying and the OM is horribly disfigured for the rest of his life.

Hmmm...maybe the Hollywood version ain't so bad after all? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

You go C22-you're my hero!! I LOVE your thread.

Smartie
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: I'd love to do it - 11/27/07 09:31 PM
This recent bit of conversation here makes me think of Shaden's talking about inventing an iFog here once...We could do FogCasts with that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: suamico Re: Open Marriages are strange - 11/27/07 09:32 PM
Quote
I never liked Tom Cruise and I disliked him even more after what he did to Nicole.

Yeah, Brad Armpit and Angelina Holey, too.

Those are my top 2! I never got the Tom Cruise thing and he is even less appealing to me now. Angelina.... well she is atleast a 2-for in my book. She married Billy bob and his LIVE IN GF was shocked when she saw it in the paper! Ofcourse this is hollywood so they are excluded from following moral behavior <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Open Marriages are strange - 11/27/07 10:56 PM
Agreed! So, so gross!

And Julia Roberts is no better. Oh yeah, Britney Spears. But then she's got the morals of a 10-cent ho. Which equals none!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Lobbed a bomb - 11/27/07 11:00 PM
Okay, just got done emailing my attorney.

I just lobbed a bomb into the other camp. But it wasn't a dirty bomb and Mel helped me construct it.

Should be going off in a day or two.

So I warned my attorney that he might be getting another letter. There's no way Mr. Gray can twist this to use it against me, though, this is info that he NEEDS to stay out of trouble in the other court.

My attorney will receive copies of everything and everything is above board.

Mr. Gray is going to be SOOOOOOOOO p.o.'ed!!!

I had to send it to Slag-Ugly's address and this is not something he has been sharing with her because she is so averse to it. The ugly side of Mr. Gray. Oh wait! ALL sides of Mr. Gray are ugly!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine smartiepants2 - 11/28/07 03:28 AM
Thank you, smartiepants2!!!!

I've had some bad spots but the great people here plus others in my support group have pulled me through!!

I'm still hangin' in there!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Lobbed a bomb - 11/28/07 03:46 AM
Quote
I just lobbed a bomb into the other camp. But it wasn't a dirty bomb and Mel helped me construct it.

now, now, you was jes bein helpful! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Lobbed a bomb - 11/28/07 03:59 AM
Yer right! Jes bein' hepful...no ulterior motives at all!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
man - i've totally been thinking about this today too. the week after D-day i took my kids for a visit - my friends and i tried to rent TWO different movies that week, both of which we had to stop part way into because they involved affairs!! then today on my Netflix 'new release' email I saw The Waitress. I saw that when it was in the theatre (and H was having A but i didn't know yet..) and the A in the movie (a big part of it) made me sad and uncomfortable - but i was able to get over it to enjoy the really good parts of the movie.. when i saw the ad today, my stomach totally sank!! at this point i feel like it would be better to watch a nude sex scene than an affair scene (not that one would have to choose either, thankfully!). um.. sorry i'm rambling a bit here. was just so excited to see someone else thinking the same thoughts today!
I am with you on that! And I'm not a big nude sex scene fan! But I'll take that over an A in a movie!

I rented Mr. Brooks this weekend from DTV and watched it. There were a couple of sex scenes but nothing real heavy. H and I were going to see this but for some reason he and OW would make fun of me when I wanted to go see a movie with him.

The last one we saw was 3:10 to Yuma. It was SO great! And I don't like Russell Crowe. I wanted to see it because I knew Christian Bale was in it and he's ALWAYS good. Peter Fonda was in it, too.

H actually asked me to go so that was our last date. He wouldn't go anywhere else, not even for a simple lunch.

Anyway, enough of that.

If you haven't seen 3:10 to Yuma, it's great. And no sex scenes. Just some implied intercourse. No butts or boobs.

It's great for a remake.

They have been having stuff on DTV like, "I Think I Love My Wife" and oh, what was that one? Some affair movie. I'm like GEESH!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Oh, BTW Melody - 11/28/07 04:28 AM
There is no way I'm answering the phone if Mr. Gray calls after the package has been delivered.

He can listen to Dino Martino in my VM. And then rant and rave.

But he's not supposed to verbally abuse me so if he does I'm calling "da Man" straightaway.

He'll probably just call his lawyer and yell about it to him, though.

But dey got nuttin' on me!!

BING!!!! Reality!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Insomnia - 11/28/07 10:04 AM
Insomnia...soon I will be seeing the little bald doctors...

Woke up from a dream I don't remember. A little after 3am. With heartburn also.

Still can't get back to sleep!

Brain won't shut up for me. Thinking about Mr. Gray. Thinking about things I shouldn't be thinking about. Thinking about how different I feel about Mr. Gray now. I am almost ready for B. I welcome B.

By the time I go into B, my heart and mind will be very much in sync.

I talked to my DD today (Tuesday.) Okay, yesterday! She asked me how I met Jonesy. I wrote her a really long email telling her the story. She never knew it due to the estrangement from her father.

I had a text war with my sister later in the evening. It was fun. I think we had three different conversations going for a while there.

I guess I'll try to get some more sleep in a few minutes. Hopefully I will sleep this time!

I guess when I see Mr. Gray all of the progress I've made severing myself from his wrath will be down the toilet, huh? I'll just be a quivering mass of flesh. No. I'm NOT going to let him intimidate me.

Yeah, brave words. We'll see how it is when it happens, I guess.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 02:41 PM
Ok, share please. What was the bomb that you lobbed?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 02:49 PM
Top o' the mornin' to ya' princess meggy!

Remember that affidavit that Mr. Gray has fogotten about?

Sent it to Slag with a nice letter detailing arrests, court dates and "please make sure he gets this..."

Oh yeah, and his arrest video.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 03:02 PM
Wow! That should knock the rose-tinted glasses right off. Good job! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 03:07 PM
Thanks princess meggy!

And thanks to Mel, too!

Yep, gonna be all about BING!!! Reality!!

Meanwhile, my bag is packed to leave town.

Nah, not really. I'm not scared of Mr. Gray.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:13 PM
[Bellevue spinning around on the floor propelled by her feet, cackling insanely]
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:15 PM
LOL Bellevue!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:22 PM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Bellevue <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LMAO!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:39 PM
Hey Charlotte,

I've been busy with my conference and haven't been on my normal night-shift...

I should be back on my regular schedule in a day or so... Hopefully you'll be sleeping better by then!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:48 PM
Thanks RIF!!

Me too. I'd love to be able to sleep at least one night all the way through at least once a week!

It sure does get lonely 'round these parts at night! Missed seein' ya'!

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:52 PM
Quote
Wow! That should knock the rose-tinted glasses right off. Good job! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We was jes' bein' helpful. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:56 PM
OT anyone ever watch foster home for imaginary friends? My son LOVES that show....especially bloo and cheese.....I think you would get a kick out of it Char....I am an adult and I love it...there is hidden adult humor here and there. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 05:57 PM
Now I'm getting antsy waiting for it to hit. I'm DYING to be a fly on the wall!!!!!!

I may not even hear anything at all. Certainly not a thank you!

But if Mr. Gray thinks he can use this to scare me again by having his lawyer send another letter to mine...I just gotta say...

Kiss da booty!

I hope I DO hear something...(tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...)

I sent a thank you card to OWH. I know he HAD to be there but it just felt like the right thing to do.

Just a short paragraph or so in the card. No, I didn't say anything that might trickle back to Mr. Gray.

Why would I do that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 06:03 PM
Hi SIHW!!

That DOES sound like something I would like. I LOVE all of the adult cartoons and the semi-adult cartoons like the Simpsons.

Faves are probably American Dad and King of the Hill & Family Guy. But sometimes they all switch places for number one.

So where do I sign-up to see the show you are talking about?

I put the "Dreamcatcher" dvd in the player. After all of the talk about Jonesy and Mr. Gray I just wanted to see good triumph over evil once again.

I Duddits!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 06:30 PM
it's on cartoon network and we "own" the 1st season DVD...I saw own because I have seen it a million times...DS just loves it THAT much...I find myself quoting lines from it randomly at times...no i am not crazy.

But check the video store....it's called "Fosters Home for Imaginary Friends"

shoot look it up online....or email me and I will send you some info I think I have *looks around*
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 07:51 PM
I'll bet my sister watches that and just hasn't mentioned it. I know she likes the on with the Superhero fast food. Can't think of the name of it right now. Oh yeah, and Robot Chicken.

I watch the Cartoon Network sometimes but I like "Boom" better.

I'll look for that show, though. Thanks for the info!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 07:55 PM
Well, Mr. Gray is on in IM. Funny...he always made himself invisible to me before. Ever since "Brave New World" he has made himself visible to me.

Cue Yosemite Sam with some choice expletives please.

Well, as soon as Plan B is in place he will be removed from my IM list. And my phone.

Take THAT! You game-playing alien!!

Now, if only those bombs would hurry up and reach their target!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 07:57 PM
Quote
I'll bet my sister watches that and just hasn't mentioned it. I know she likes the on with the Superhero fast food.

Aqua teen Hungar Force.....that is a weird show..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Insomnia - 11/28/07 08:10 PM
Oh yeah!!! That's it!

That is a weird one all right. It gets on my nerves, frankly!
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 08:10 PM
Quote
We was jes' bein' helpful. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

This has me crackin' up!!! I so LOVE that brand of help! Charlotte and Mel, THE REALITY BRINGERS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Something tells me Mr. Gray ain't gonna like takin' a bite outta dat supersized REALITY SAMMICH!!! That is the BEST way of making reality collide with fantasy...PERFECTLY EXECUTED!!! I give it "two snaps up in a circle"! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 08:14 PM
WooooooHooooooo!!!!

That's us.....BING!!! REALITY!!!!

I feel so much better now when I think about when I have to see him again. I know I can handle Mr. Gray! Maybe I won't need anyone from the office to assist in keeping him in line after all.

Yeah, I talk a big line don't I? I'm probably going to be a total WRECK on that day!

Or not. I still have time to get all of the important files from the memory warehouse safely out of Mr. Gray's reach.

I might make it.

No bounce, no play!
Posted By: AmIok Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:30 PM
Have you ever talked to one of the Harley's about getting some strategy or direction?

They sometimes advise slightly differently from the conventional wisdom around these boards. I think they could probably help you come up with an effective plan given your special circumstances of your WH's pill problem.

To be honest, the whole "lobbing bombs" concept, at the same time as you are having no good contact with him at all, right before you go to Plan B ..... it all makes me cringe a little bit. It seems to me that if you went to Plan B right now (or soon, as you are planning), these are the last memories he'd have of you. And I'm just not sure how effective that would really be.

I realize you have special circumstances to consider, so I may be totally off-base. I just can't imagine how your current plan is setting up a very effective Plan B.

Just my opinion -- with all due respect to Mel. I haven't been around nearly as long as she has, and I don't mean to contradict her. I just wonder if the Harley's might have another idea that hasn't been considered. I've seen them come up with some jaw-dropping stuff sometimes.

-AmI.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:37 PM
Hi AmIok,

I don't see what choice I have BUT to go into Plan B. Mr. Gray insists on hiding behind his attorney.

He is going to continue and try to get to me. Plan A was going really well until the hearing.

The only chance I have left to Plan A is when he comes over for the inventory and to collect his things.

If I don't go into Plan B after that there is no way I will be able to continue. He will certainly continue to do things to try and get to me.

The love bank is so low now it is almost non-existent.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:41 PM
The "bomb" in question is something he needs to keep his DL. I can't help the way he'll view it.

He has to know that he is going to lose me. He is going to lose me very soon if I don't go into Plan B.

He will come over and see all of our mementos removed from our walls, dressers, bathroom, etc.

He will get the PBL on the way out.

I have already lost him. He needs to know that he is losing me. Because he is, there is no doubt about that.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:47 PM
Also AmI, remember that Plan A has a STICK to it...Charlotte's "bomb lob" wasn't really HER bomb anyway, it was HIS BOMB and HIS REALITY...OW needs to see that REALITY...it's probable that she will NOT dig it...Remember OW didn't sign on "for better or for worse", she's just in it for what SHE can get out of it...Not only that, Charlotte getting her WH that affidavit IS kind...She could just have let it sit and he would have been in REAL trouble then, not just in trouble with his affair partner...I think Charlotte is right on track...Dr. Harley even advises exposure in Plan B sometimes...Reality is a GOOD thing...

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:49 PM
He has no idea the extent of which he is losing me, either. It's not just his actions that are pulling me away from him now.

There are other forces at work as well. Normal, sane people and things.

That's why I have to remove his poison because if this keeps up that's IT.

He may still try to get at me anyway. I don't know.

But I have to do what I can to stop it. I am being pushed and pulled in different directions and the direction that has the most influence now is AWAY from him.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:51 PM
Quote
To be honest, the whole "lobbing bombs" concept, at the same time as you are having no good contact with him at all, right before you go to Plan B ..... it all makes me cringe a little bit. It seems to me that if you went to Plan B right now (or soon, as you are planning), these are the last memories he'd have of you. And I'm just not sure how effective that would really be.

Ami, she is not "dropping bombs" so to speak, she sent her H an affidavit he needs for his court case. Without it, he could lose his drivers license. However, since he is with the OW, it has the unpleasant benefit of the OW witnessing his legal problems. We happen to know this is a big turn off to her. THAT is the "bomb" that Charlotte is joking about.

All of her interactions with him have been very cordial and very loving, not hostile, so he will have a good taste in his mouth when she goes dark. She will seque into Plan B perfectly as all the bases have been covered.

Even so, Dr. Harley would tell her that Plan A is NOT ADVISED in the case of a drug addict because it is impossible to meet the needs of an active addict. She has done a good job of leaving a good taste in his mouth before she goes dark by giving him a "Plan A" letter that he can read in his sober moments. We have strategically ensured that he understands her position even though he is on drugs.

So, don't worry, Ani, even though we joke about dropping bombs, the environment is loving, not hostile and there is a sound plan of action.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:53 PM
Thanks Mrs. W, because that's true. He's forgotten all about the affidavit or I would have heard from him through my attorney or at the very least an email from him, even though he's p.o.'ed.

And sure, there was a little demon in me that would have loved to have sabotaged him, both with this affidavit and the other court documents he forgot about because he was so involved in his A that I had to take care of it.

But there's no way my conscience would ever allow that. Even if it would have taught him a lesson.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:55 PM
You are doing just fine, Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:56 PM
Thank you, Melody. This is true.

The very last time Mr. Gray came over and we spent some time together, I actually DID see Jonesy come out. And that spark between us was definitely in evidence.

We even flirted with each other. It's the most fun I've had with him in months.

And he was so sweet when I walked him out to the car.

I could cry just thinking about it.

Now he's only Mr. Gray. I hope I see Jonesy one more time before going dark but I'm not counting on it.

And I fed him each and every time I saw him after exposure day. If he couldn't have the meal with me I sent plenty of it back with him. His favorites, too.

And he enjoyed it. And he has the letter and the bodice ripper. And he has the poem I wrote. That wasn't all that long before the hearing.

Posted By: AmIok Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:56 PM
Quote
I don't see what choice I have BUT to go into Plan B.

That's why I suggested calling the Harley's. Lots of us here have been at that same point, where we just don't see any other possible options. And that's most often when I've seen the Harley's come up with some very different ideas or plans than what the coventional advice from the board is, or from what other people have thought of.

In my case, Steve helped me figure out a better plan than Plan B, and helped me figure out how to do it, too, when I thought there were no other options.

That doesn't mean that Plan B isn't the best bet for you right now -- it might be. And I'm not trying to criticize the actions that you've taken or say that you're doing anything wrong. You've been remarkably strong.

I am just concerned about the picture and tone that is being left for your WH as you go into Plan B. I certainly don't have a better plan or better suggestions ..... but I know that the Harley's usually do. And they are able to take into account all the special circumstances.

Again, just my opinion, and not meant to contradict other advice that you've already gotten.

-AmI.
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:57 PM
Quote
You are doing just fine, Charlotte. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yep, she sure is AND she reminded me how to spell "affidavit" too! (I had to do a little editing! lol) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 10:59 PM
Thank you, Melody!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:00 PM
LOL Mrs. W!!
Posted By: MrsWondering Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:01 PM
AmI...

I think the most important point here is that Charlotte's husband is an ACTIVE ADDICT...The Harleys would not advise Plan A in that situation...

Mrs. W
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:02 PM
Ami, her plan is perfectly sound and there is no reason to call the Harleys. Her H is an addict and what Dr Harley does suggest is Plan B in these cases. [there are no other MB principles that would be applicable]

You are clearly getting the wrong picture if you are concerned about the "tone" because she has done a good job of setting a very good tone. I think you misunderstood the environment becuase of her joking. But be assured that she has done a good job and there is nothing here the Harleys would find objectionable.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:03 PM
Thank you, AmI,

I guess it wouldn't hurt to try and call. I thank you for your input.

I'm just SO worried about that love running out through all of the holes that Mr. Gray has left in my heart.

I don't WANT anyone else to fill it.

But I'm still trying to patch up the damage that's been done. Gotta love Quikcrete! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> (okay, I don't remember how that's spelled but you get the idea!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:08 PM
Yeah, I was just kidding about the bomb lobbing thing. I get myself into trouble sometimes with my descriptions.

And he IS an addict. Maybe his employers have tested him and warned him by now, I don't know.

He won't have a lot of extra money to buy the drugs off of the internet, where he's been getting them, thanks to my attorney.

I get half of his pay a month so there's not going to be a lot of extra to go around. And Slag has her own addictions to worry about. She's an alcoholic AND into pills more now, thanks to Mr. Gray. So I don't know how much money she will be able to pony up.

I think both were counting on the collection to fund the A and their addictions.

Plus OWH is out of the house so she won't have the benefit of his substantial money wad.

He's the one who paid for her Lasik surgery back in August. She depends on his dough quite a bit. And she's a BIG spender. Even OWH said she is high maintenance. His exact words.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Funny how this works...ain't it? - 11/28/07 11:18 PM
If I call it will have to be into the show.

Mr. Gray hates me right now. He tried to get his petty revenge the other day with the letter.

I'm sure he will try other things. He WANTS me to react so he can hate me more.

He'll probably be really scuzzy-ugly when he comes over. I have to have major armor on. So far, so good.

As long as I don't lose it the day he's coming. It took me hours to calm down about the letter and hours afterward yet again when my attorney showed it to me.

I didn't call Mr. Gray and gripe him out. I didn't email him. I mentioned nothing about the accusations when I sent OWH the thank you note. And I didn't call OWH to question him about it, either, although I did think about doing just that.
Posted By: The_411 That's an interesting challenge - 11/29/07 02:48 AM
I wonder if he'll bring her when he comes to pick up his tuff. I don't think she'll come into the house, but she may wait in the car.

Bear down and get ready for the siege. Get yourself healed up and ready to be the ebst you, Charlotte. Mr. Gray needs to be deprived of the one person in his life that actually cares for him.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: That's an interesting challenge - 11/29/07 02:53 AM
Quote
I wonder if he'll bring her when he comes to pick up his tuff. I don't think she'll come into the house, but she may wait in the car.

In Texas?? We are ARMED so I doubt she would try coming onto Charlotte's property.
Posted By: The_411 Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:00 AM
I had to prepare myself for that possibility when I went to our old apartment for the last time. Luckily it was a mutual friend who was there instead.

Always good to plan for the worst.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:02 AM
If the OW comes onto Charlotte's property, the OW would be the one who had to prepare for the worst, I promise ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well... - 11/29/07 03:05 AM
I guess Mr. Gray is gone for good, taking Jonesy with him. When I go into Plan B it will be forever.

So I am preparing for that eventuality.

When I wrote to OWH in the thank you note, I asked him how he liked my attorney. I knew the two of them would hit it off.

OWH wanted his card but he was out. I had mine, all dog-eared and wrinkled, but I decided to hang onto it. It is, after all, a symbol of one of the most life-changing events in my life.

I won't keep it forever. Just for now.

OWH did tell me before we left that he wasn't going to file yet. I don't know how long he'll hold out. That was a week ago. He doesn't intend to let his wife cake eat, though.

So she'll have to make do with one man meeting her needs.

I guess if OWH files he'll want to hire my attorney. I guess that's allowed? Or maybe not. Not sure how that works. We aren't related to each other but we are related in a way.

So I will prepare myself for the thing that looks like my Jonesy. To see him one more time. I'll miss Jonesy. But I won't miss Mr. Gray.

I love you, Jonesy... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: That's an interesting challenge - 11/29/07 03:07 AM
I wondered about that 411.

But he's not supposed to disturb my peace and prevent me from enjoying the use of our home.

So he would be violating the agreement, IMO.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:09 AM
That's right. I'm not standing for that abuse. Not this chick.

He can turn around and leave if he thinks he's going to do that.

Or face the consequences.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:11 AM
She'd have to sit on her ugly [censored] for an awfully long time. He wants to be here for the inventory. That's going to take forever.

Hopefully he will get bored and leave.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:14 AM
Forget the IMO up there. It's not an opinion. He WOULD be violating the court-ordered agreement.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:22 AM
Well, if he pulls that stunt, the sheriff can escort her off the premises.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:29 AM
That would be GRAND! I'm going to make sure the digital camera is charged up in case the opportunity presents itself!
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:39 AM
C22

I'll say this--if my WH took to heart only one thing I told him after D-day and this whole mess imploded was that he was to NEVER bring OW near my home--not even in the f'ing driveway. He did not even bring her car when he moved out his crap, and it would have been easier for him because she had a truck!!

If he dared to bring Slutjob to my home, around my doggies, well let's just say no gun would have been needed. I'd have KICKED her scrawny a$$ back to Tennessee!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

You want to know something funny--when my IL's found out about the A they told him the same exact thing about bringing her to their home. OW will be sitting on a lot of curbs... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 03:45 AM
Amen smartiepants! When I saw the OW in my H's truck once, he had to drive to the police station for protection! I can't imagine he would ever be nuts enough to actually bring her on my property! That would not be pretty for her!
Posted By: Resilient Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 04:07 AM
Reminds me of an MB story where a BW in her Channel suit beat the crap outta her cheating WH on the side of the freeway after seeing him with the OW.

... lemme see, who was that anyway .. hmmm.

<SSDD> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 04:15 AM
LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I remember that story!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:17 AM
You guys cheered me up and so did DIL, just got off the phone with her.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 04:18 AM
FWIW C22, your attorney might not be able to take the OWH's case, because he might have to obtain statements or testimony from the OWH and even subpoena the OW. Something called Conflict of Interest.

Nothing to keep him from referring OWH's case to a respected colleague, someone with a pitbull's disposition and a mind like a steel trap, and the heart of a shark.
Posted By: Resilient Re: I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:20 AM
Thats good to hear, Char.

BTW: I would never advocate beating up anyone, most especially not a cheating husband while in your Channel suite.

But strangely enough, it does paint an interesting and somewhat satisfying picture in one's head. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:23 AM
Thanks for getting me out of the rut, ya'll!

I might even be able to sleep now. I think I will. Might not stay asleep but I'll at least get there for a while.

I think tomorrow will be the day if I hear anything at all from Mr. Gray or from my attorney through his attorney.

That's A-OK if he wants to do it that way. By tomorrow my attorney will have the letter and the other goodies so he can counter any cockamamie bs out of Mr. Gray.

That reminds me: I guess I shoulda named Slag after Annie Wilkes, huh? Cockadoodie!!! Or after her pig, Misery!

LMAO! Okay, I might alternate.

Couldn't you just see it? She wants to be Mr. Gray's biggest fan so she hobbles him...but like in the novel, not the movie. The movie was bad enough but the novel was waaaaaay worse!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 04:28 AM
Yeah, I wondered about that.

His approach is great. He's real quiet about it...like a well-trained Doberman as a guard dog...you don't know the dobie is there all handsomely sleek and deadly...and the next thing you know he has you by the throat. (We had a great dobie like that to take care of us when I was growing up.)

He got Mr. Gray with that approach when we were in the conference room.

I had to stop myself from doing the victory fist-pumping thing. It was kinda funny. Tragic, but funny.

So yeah, I'm sure he knows someone OWH could trust. Won't be as good as him but, well, sorry OWH! Early bird gets the best pickins!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:29 AM
Quote
BTW: I would never advocate beating up anyone, most espescially not a cheating husband while in your Channel suite.

Thass right, Resilient, it might mess up the suit! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:31 AM
Quote
Thass right, Resilient, it might mess up the suit!


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I feel better... - 11/29/07 04:32 AM
Quote
But strangely enough, it does paint an interesting and somewhat satisfying picture in one's head.


And how! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, one more thing before bed... - 11/29/07 05:50 AM
This may have been posted before but I'm posting it again. Yoko will understand. After all, there was May Pang.

I'm dedicating this one to Mr. Gray. I'd sing it to him if I could but he's not here. This is also for all of the other WS's out there:

Crippled Inside

You can shine your shoes and wear a suit...
You can comb your hair and look quite cute...
You can hide your face behind a smile...
One thing you can't hide,
Is when you're crippled inside.

You can wear a mask and paint your face...
You can call yourself the human race...
You can wear a collar and a tie...
One thing you can't hide,
Is when you're crippled inside.

Well now you know that your cat has nine lives, yeah
Nine lives to itself
You only got one
And a dog's life ain't fun
Mama take a look outside.

You can go to church and sing a hymn,
You can judge me by the color of my skin
You can live a lie 'til you die...
One thing you can't hide,
Is when you're crippled inside.

Well now you know that your cat has nine lives, yeah
Nine lives to itself.
You only got one
And a dog's life ain't fun
Mama take a look outside.

You can go to church and sing a hymn...
Judge me by the color of my skin...
You can live a lie 'til you die
One thing you can't hide
Is when you're crippled inside

One thing you can't hide,
Is when you're crippled inside...

One...thing...you...can't...hide.......
Is when you're crippled insiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide!!!!!!!

Thank you, John Lennon! Wish you were here!
Posted By: RIF Re: Okay, one more thing before bed... - 11/29/07 01:42 PM
Morning Charlotte!

I'm back "home" so I'll be no my regular night-shift this evening. I hope you got some rest last night.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: Okay, one more thing before bed... - 11/29/07 03:18 PM
Quote
BTW: I would never advocate beating up anyone, most especially not a cheating husband while in your Channel suite.

If you beat him you'll only do one thing...

You'll make him a little smarter and he won't let you catch him the next time...

(Too paraphrase B.B.King)

Mark
Hi RIF,

Yay!!

Amazingly, I actually did sleep. I only woke up once during the night.

Have a good one RIF!

TTFN,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, Mr. Gray is on again... - 11/29/07 04:45 PM
I'm thinking about IM-ing him or emailing him about that outlet in the bathroom that keeps throwing the breaker.

I don't know if I will, though.

I'm going to wait until later on, I think. See if I get that return receipt in the mail.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Well, Mr. Gray is on again... - 11/29/07 04:54 PM
You're not in Plan B yet, right? Nothing wrong with contacting him about the outlet. You're the damsel in distress crying out for help with your outlet.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, Mr. Gray is on again... - 11/29/07 05:02 PM
Hi princess meggy!

You're right. Of course, I know I'm just setting myself up for him to be ugly to me but it IS a problem and he knows I worry about it a lot. We had the same problem with the outlet last year.

I'm worried about fire. If he's not worried about me, then he will at least be worried about his collection!

He was going to replace it but he never got that "Round Tuit" and then crap hit the fan so there it sits...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, Mr. Gray is on again... - 11/29/07 05:03 PM
He'll probaby have my lawyer called and tell him that he's being harassed by anonymous emails! Some crazy woman talking about faulty outlets!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, I did it... - 11/29/07 06:47 PM
I sent Mr. Gray an email.

I told him about the outlet and the neighbors moving out.

I told him a few other things and then I had to add a "P.S."

The P.S. was longer than the rest of the message!

I talked about the kids and what happened over the holiday. I talked about my cousin who's an alcoholic who started drinking again and that I was worried about her because her mom was killed walking to her sister's (my great-aunt) house one night from a bar. She was hit by a car and thrown into the path of another. It was a horrible thing.

I was just a kid but I remember that we went over there the next day and there were all of these people that lived on that stretch of road and they were out looking for things that flew out of her purse. They were all over the place.

Anyway, didn't mean to start talking about that terrible time. I didn't mention the story to Mr. Gray, he already knows it.

I just let my fingers do the talking.

Anyway, he never responded to my last email so I won't expect anything from this one. I know he'll read it, though.

I talked about the kids a lot. We have been keeping in close touch...DS, DIL, DD and I. The only one that's been busy, busy is YDS. But he's been too busy to talk with any of us, even his mom. I talked to her about him last week after the hearing.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 08:00 PM
Quote
His approach is great. He's real quiet about it...like a well-trained Doberman as a guard dog...you don't know the dobie is there all handsomely sleek and deadly...and the next thing you know he has you by the throat. (We had a great dobie like that to take care of us when I was growing up.)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Agreed Melody but then again - 11/29/07 08:04 PM
Hi Dobie!

Yeah, I thought about you when I was writing about that. I thought you might like the analogy!
Posted By: The_411 No worries, Charlotte - 11/29/07 09:05 PM
The e-mail is fine as your still Plan A. Once Plan B goes into effect that's when you shut it down to pitch black darkness.

Always better to talk about the kids than the devil incarnate WS. It shows you are concerined with the family which is better than showing concern for the WS who doesn't deserve your concern at this point.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No worries, Charlotte - 11/29/07 09:32 PM
Thanks, 411.

Not a peep out of him yet. Of course sometimes he drags it out just to make me wait.

I don't think he's going to answer this time at all, though.

So I'm not sure if I should continue to try and reach Jonesy before B is in effect or not.

After all, Mr. Gray intercepts my messages!!!

I guess I'll keep trying until I can't try anymore. I won't be able to very often because I'm sure that I'll be accused of stalking or something.

Even though there's absolutely nothing that could be construed as stalking in the email.

Geez, he IS still MY husband.

There are things we share together that still concern him. How is that stalking? Well, if he were to print this out and show it to a judge in a court of law he'd be laughed out of the state.

But I'm just paranoid after Monday and all of that bs.

I don't want to have to call my lawyer and give him the info every time I want to talk to my husband just so he can be prepared for any blowback. That is patently ridiculous.

We CAN talk to each other, there's no order preventing that. It can't be abusive and I certainly haven't done that.

I can't help but wonder what he'll make of the fact that I cared enough to send him that paperwork he needed. Will it register that I could have screwed him over this? Unknown.

Will he call and thank me? Doubtful.

But I have to believe it will make SOME kind of impact.

On Jonesy, at least.

Thanks again, 411!
Posted By: The_411 You're welcome - 11/29/07 09:42 PM
I don't think he'll peep most WS get reclusive when they have to deal with reality.

Remember Plan A is to show the changes you've made and how you are becoming super you.

I would suggest trying not to initiate contact because that comes off as needy if it is too frequent.

Remember if you don't have a reason to contact other than to contact he'll sense it.

I rather doubt you'll be accused of stalking, although I don't blame you for being paranoid.

It's good to call your lawyer if there is something that you're not sure about. If it is idle banter not dealing with legal issues then you should be ok.

If legal stuff is brought up just avoid the issues and deflect with playful and witty banter.

You along with many other of us get caught up in the what if and trying to understand the WS.

Set your phasers on stun for the moment he's possesed.

He's only going to thank you when he realizes what he's throwing away and he withdraws from his dopamine addiciton.

You're welcome once again.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: You're welcome - 11/29/07 09:57 PM
Quote
Set your phasers on stun for the moment he's possesed.
LOL!!

Thanks, 411.

I am trying so hard. My chest hurts now because of my back and forth"ism."

My attorney tells me I deserve better. OWH tells me I deserve better. (My family hasn't said as much, except for Mom, but they respect what I'm trying to do even if they don't understand it.)

I know they mean well but Jonesy WAS the best before Mr. Gray took over. I'm still struggling with not thinking about that.

But it's hard.

Jonesy had a problem with XW calling him a lot after they were separated, even suggesting SF-type activities. I heard some of that, she WOULD call him, even 4 years later when Jonesy and I were dating.

So I know he's thinking about that. But I never bring up R issues when I'm talking to him in email. The last time he was here I didn't either, just gave him the letter Mel and I worked on.

Geez! I am SO jumpy! Every time the phone rings I think it is my attorney calling me about complaints from Mr. Gray or Mr. Gray himself.

I already know what I'll say when I hear from my attorney. I'll just answer with: "What did I do this time?"

I am losing it.

I know he did a good job at ignoring XW because I saw it in action for all the time we were together.

Thing is, I have done none of the things that she did both before and after they split.

Even when I was talking to her there were marked differences in the things she knew about Jonesy as compared to the Jonesy I know.

I didn't say anything because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. That was just stuff like: doing the laundry and other habits. It had nothing to do with why they split.

I am convinced that there was an A in there. On Mr. Gray's part.

Well, lest I ramble on too long (Robert Plant...dang it! Now that Zepplin song will be in my head for hours!)...I'll stop typing for the moment!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks yet again, 411!
Posted By: The_411 Charlotte I'm with you - 11/29/07 10:21 PM
Luckily as stressful as everything has been I haven't been sick or in too much pain.

You do deserve better which means either Jonesy (H) or a man who will appreciate you for what you do and love you for you.

I'm convinced that waywards don't understand love beyond the honeymoon stage and don't udnerstand how hard it is to love someone and go through trials of love and life together.

I think relationships have become much more dispoable following the current trend in society of everything being much more disposable. Most people had one or two jobs in a lifetime 30 years ago. Now people often have had jobs in less than 2 years of working and will go on to have 10 or more jobs.

Could be that Mr. Gray is a serial cheater and he can't deal with the "boredom" of a relationship. Keep in mind this is not a relection on you whatsoever but a relaction on his immaturity and incapability of accepting true love.

You're not losing it you're just being pushed beyond your normal limits and you're not used to that sensation.

I think that's why I told my ex that I was going to do the Ironman triathalon after we broke up. I want to push the limits of my capabilities to show her a) I can achieve goals that I set b) and all my anger goes to a constructive place instead of a descructive state. c) her barb about need a man with ambition was off the mark.

I think Zepplin has so many great songs that speak well for life experiences. Ramble on indeed ...waywards


As always you're welcome
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte I'm with you - 11/29/07 11:09 PM
Thanks 411,

I'm just so sad right now. You could be right about the serial cheating thing.

There were times in our marriage where I wondered if I was going to be kicked to the curb after a certain time limit had passed.

Not because of anything strange from Mr. Gray but only because his first marriage lasted a certain amount of time so how long did I have?

Of course he assured me that that would not happen. And he didn't take 4 muscle relaxers on our wedding day the way he did with his first wife.

I wondered about the 7-year itch thing just because of the noteriety. When 7 years passed and neither one of us had the inclination to have a 7-year itch, I thought we were okay.

I, like others, NEVER thought that cheating with another person was in the cards. He had the same morals and values as I, of COURSE that wasn't going to happen.

Yeah, well, learned different.

I don't know. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and forget it.

Thanks to that thing with my lawyer, which was foolish but I was not thinking clearly at all except to recognize it for what it was...I know there are good, kind, decent people out there that value me as a human. That sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it? It's not. I think a big part of that was to get at Mr. Gray, even though I wouldn't acknowledge it at the time. It's been done and it can't be changed now, anyway.

So I am on the fast track, or not so fast track to a D. I don't know what I should do. He is such a jerk now that I think I should go ahead and listen to my lawyer and OWH and just forget it.

Or I could wait until the day before the final hearing and drop it.

I don't know.

Maybe I should just leave town.

Of course I don't really want to. I think about our history together and how good we were together as a couple. I think about our vows and the beautiful story he wrote for the paper about our wedding day.

I think about what I promised the kids.

And I am just about "thinked" out.

I think I should just send the B letter right now and be done with it.

Let someone else be here when he comes for the inventory and get his things.

I don't know.

He's not going to talk to me, call me or acknowledge my emails. I'm just pissin' in the wind. (Well, I would be if I was a guy.)

I'm just crappin' where I eat. And anyone with a lick of sense knows you don't do that.

So fine. I should just cut him loose. If the Slag wants him, she's welcome to him. Just get ready for a whole host of problems with his drug addiction and his health.

But some people are turned on by such things. Okay, get a job in a hospital or nursing home, then, Slag.

I am at a loss. Mr. Gray signed out of IM about 30 minutes ago. I had it closed but not signed out on my end.

I know he got the message.

So ignore me. Ignore me at your peril.

Ignore me until the sky falls and the earth collapses in on itself.

You will be the one to suffer, Mr. Gray.

Well, I guess I'll quit writing now. Sorry about the rant!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte I'm with you - 11/29/07 11:28 PM
I'm seriously thinking about sending him the letter, giving my lawyer my house key so someone can be here for the inventory, and going to stay with my bro' in CA for a while. And after he leaves for Hawaii, going to stay with my sister in LA or my dad's old army buddy in NY.

Or my dad in Austin.

I don't know how much longer I can last. I'm trying to hang on by a thread.
Posted By: The_411 I'm sad too, Charlotte - 11/29/07 11:28 PM
I'd rather be wrong than right and sad.

My ex always pointed out cheating and how wrong it was.

Don't throw in the towel quite yet.

Just realize that your love bank has been nearly emptied so you don't have much empathy for him right now.

Don't worry about the thing with your lawyer. It is in the past and the thing about it is you got a glimpse of what cheating is about.

Just work on you.

Keep busy or take a trip. Do things to have fun and enjoy life after all that's the ebst part.

He's being a selfish SOB.

There's no way to know where he's at you can onyl control you. You're a fighter so if you want to fight sometimes you need refrain from fighting to regain your advantage.

I would suggest you read Sun Tzu's Art of War and study it like a bible.

It will give you inner peace and also prepare you for the battle that lies ahead.

I would also suggest you read many significant works to better understand life philsophies. not because you don't understand them but rather as a way of steeling your nerves and drawing power for those who expressed those thoughts.

Remember that you are the virtuous one here and he's sold his soul to the devil.

He is suffereing in his own way. The problem is he doesn't recognize the suffering of others which will catch up him when he clears through the fog and realizes what he has done.

Stay strong in the days, weeks, and months ahead.

Cherish each moment as an opportunity to grow stronger and become more learned.

I know the sadness you feel and I can empathsize because I try to work through it each day just as many here do.

We can either let it define us or we can take that pain and overcome it.

Start making yourself really really busy and start trying a whole bunch of things. Try not to leave time to think excessively. If you do need to think about Jonesy set aside 30 minutes a day to rant rave, cry or whatever else and then do not spend anymore time on it. Reduce this period every once in a while until you spend no time on it.

Do not expect anything and you will not be disappointed.

Do not apologize for your pain, Charlotte. The pain is real and it is palpable.

Channel it into something positive.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I'm sad too, Charlotte - 11/29/07 11:44 PM
Thanks, 411.

I'm trying not to expect anything so I won't be disappointed my heart betrays me into expecting anyway.

I feel like calling him or emailing him and asking him to pick up his stuff this weekend...then I give the key to my attorney for the inventory and bug out of here.

I'm fighting it but I sure want to right at this minute.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, this is strange... - 11/29/07 11:46 PM
I just got a phone call from an unknown number. Asking for Mr. Gray. Female. Lots of background noise. Sounded like a bar or something.

I don't think it was Slag but I can't be sure because I don't really remember her voice.

The female didn't want to leave a message but said she would try later.

???????

I don't know what to make of this, if anything.
Posted By: The_411 oh boy - 11/29/07 11:52 PM
We'll I would think that slag knows he's not there ...

so my guess is this might be slag #2.

Sounds like the poo poo might start to hit the fan quite soon.

The question why do people live thier lives like this.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Charlotte I'm with you - 11/29/07 11:53 PM
Quote
I'm seriously thinking about sending him the letter, giving my lawyer my house key so someone can be here for the inventory, and going to stay with my bro' in CA for a while. And after he leaves for Hawaii, going to stay with my sister in LA or my dad's old army buddy in NY.

Or my dad in Austin.

I don't know how much longer I can last. I'm trying to hang on by a thread.

If you come out here to cali let me know....I'm here... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte I'm with you - 11/30/07 12:18 AM
Oh, COOL!

I'll do that.

I just sent an email to my attorney to let him know what's been up and to tell him about that call.

It was odd.

I think it would be a good idea to get out of town for a while.

Maybe those nasty vibes won't affect me as much.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: oh boy - 11/30/07 12:19 AM
Wow, 411, you read my mind on that one!
Posted By: The_411 Well I think I have ... - 11/30/07 12:36 AM
ESPN or something:P

Seriously, that reeks of multiple women and it sounds like Mr. Gray needs serious counseling and medication to correct his issues.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well I think I have ... - 11/30/07 12:40 AM
I feel ill. I almost emailed him about it but I deleted the email.

Just to let him know that some strange chick called for him, is all.
Posted By: Mark1952 Re: oh boy - 11/30/07 12:44 AM
Char,

Get that Plan B letter ready. You're running out of gas fast.

Start preparing yourself for Plan B by doing anything to keep from worrying or wondering about what he is doing.

Mark
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: oh boy - 11/30/07 12:49 AM
Thank you, Mark.

Will do.

I am going to email him anyway. The least he could do would be to give these females his cell number!
Posted By: RIF Re: Okay, this is strange... - 11/30/07 12:53 AM
Evening Charlotte!

Quote
I don't know what to make of this, if anything.


Our MC taught us that we should avoid "ALWAYS" and "NEVER" statements... such as Mrs. RIF you ALWAYS (fill in the blank) do that to me or RIF you NEVER (fill in the blank).

I'm going to use an "ALWAYS" statement here and I'd like for you to think about it....

When you are dealing with a WS and you have an incident such as the phone call from the unknown woman... you mind will ALWAYS think of the worst possible case.

Charlotte, you have a good plan. Work your plan and focus on the facts. Dwelling on this phone call from the mystery woman my be entertaining, and it may give your mind lots of things to think about, but it will distract you from your plan.

Focus on the facts...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, this is strange... - 11/30/07 12:57 AM
Hi RIF!

Good to see ya'!

I will do my best. I have emailed Mr. Gray about this, though.

I just told him she called, wouldn't leave a name and number and wasn't a bill collector.

Then I asked him to please give out his cell phone number so I don't have to deal with this pain.

Said "thank you" and Love, Charlotte.

It just felt like the right thing to do.

So I did it.
Posted By: RIF Re: Okay, this is strange... - 11/30/07 01:11 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Sounds like you handled the phone call very well... I was just trying to remind you not to sit and stew over it as it will distract you from your plan. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I've got a few things to do today, but I'll be around on the night-shift... I hope you get some rest this evening...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, this is strange... - 11/30/07 01:18 AM
Thanks RIF,

I'm glad to hear that. I almost didn't email him and then I thought...well, why the heck shouldn't I tell him?

I'm trying not to dwell on it. Just what the heck is he up to?

I'm trying to bake some bread here, dang it! And I'm making some good ol' bean soup the way my grandma likes it.

I have to go make the zasmashka now.

TTFN!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 09:16 AM
Well, here I am again.

Woke up around 1am. Couldn't get back to sleep.

I decided to check on that delivery to Slag. Typed in the rr# at the p.o. website.

It is sitting at the post office. Delivery was attempted on 11/28 at 6:30 p.m.

Well, it's the 30th today. Now he has 8 days left to get it signed an notarized.

I wonder if it will get picked up? Do you think Slag is so paranoid she thinks I'd be dumb enough to set a booby trap and put my return address on it? Plus send it Certified?

If it doesn't get picked up, by the time it is sent back to me it will be too late for Mr. Gray.

So I'm not sure what to do here. It won't be my fault. It will be hers. If it comes back I am taking it straight to my lawyer.

Well, could be there just wasn't time to go to the p.o. No hanky-panky at work anymore so anything like that has to be after.

But still...you'd think if she told Mr. Gray about it, it would have been picked up. Even if the carrier didn't put our whole address on there, the zip is on there. There won't be any mistake about where it's from.

The only other person she knows here is Mr. Gray.

Well, I could be speculating for nothing. It will probably get picked up today. I guess.

I think I might try to sleep again.

'Nite All!
Posted By: Orchid Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 09:43 AM
Stop stressing. It's their problem if they can't face receiving a package. Yea.... expect them to act all paranoid, then you can use RB to throw it back in their faces. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So be prepared....if the pkg returns you will do ___________ .

Print or save a copy of the tracking.

Now get some rest. Do some deep breathing cleansing exercises.... smith some lavender essential oils if you have.... just learn to relax.

take care,
L.
Posted By: RIF Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 10:19 AM
Quote
Stop stressing. It's their problem if they can't face receiving a package.


Ditto!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I hope you're sleeping well...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:04 PM
Thanks Orchid and RIF!

I know you guys are right. I need to get a grip. I need to stop worrying about whether Mr. Gray will answer my email when I know he won't.

If the package is not picked up and he gets in trouble it won't be my fault. I tried. He can't sue me because she didn't pick it up.

I'm just going to try to hang on and limp along until he gets the PBL.

Have a good day, Ya'll!

Charlotte
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:06 PM
Quote
Stop stressing. It's their problem if they can't face receiving a package.

Ditto x2!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

And you were really only doing WH a favor anyway. What's that noise? Could it be the karma bus?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:16 PM
Quote
What's that noise? Could it be the karma bus?


LOL! Thanks princess meggy!

I am trying not to let him hurt me with his silence. I am telling myself that I won't need to worry about that after I give him the PBL.

And it won't be a moot point to give him the PBL because I'm taking away his power to hurt me by doing so, right?

Because then he won't have a choice about ignoring me. He will be out of my life.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:31 PM
You'll be giving him the PBL because you want to PROTECT what love you have left for him (your LB is nearing the red zone) and for your own sanity. Plan B is about YOU. You're right, you WILL be taking away his power to hurt you because you WON'T be exposed to it, any way, shape, form or fashion.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:43 PM
Charlotte, I am also having trouble sleeping - whole different sitch though. Last night some wind came up, and I wished it would continue, but it didn't. Now I'm considering buying a machine that makes a soothing sound, like rain or wind.

This morning it is raining, and I wish it had rained last night. Now I have to be up and functioning.

Hey, here's a thought: Freecycle. People post on it for things they need/want. People post with things they want to give away. I think I'll post an ad for a noise machine, and you could do the same.

I've seen people ask for beds, trucks, computers, yarn, and people post with dog bowls, music tapes, lamps, clothes, cars, appliances -

From where I'm sitting, time for Plan B.

You are so funny, wry, smart and brave. Protect yourself.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:49 PM
More: Could be the reason for the silence is that Mr. Gray and Ms. Slag are irritating each other with LoveBusters, Disrespectful Judgments and Angry Outbursts. They might even be checking up on each other.

Ms. Slag may not have told your H about the letter. She may suspect it is bad news for HER. Ms. slag may just be flakey and not very responsible about picking up her mail. Either way, if ;he doesn't receive it in time because of the slag, the sh#t will hit the fan and she will be wiping it off.

Another thought - you left a VM on his cellphone, about the ph call from the woman from [maybe] a bar. Maybe slag picked it up, they could be scrapping about that. Maybe slag erased it without his hearing it.

If it was her phone call to you, it didn't evoke the reaction she hoped for. If it was a new slag, she got a heads up and is not happy with him.

All this is good, good for you.
Posted By: Dupree Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:55 PM
Charlotte-

Read your thread many times. I'm actually in Plan B..not as dark as I would like but nonetheless Plan B. I don't feel like I have any advice for you as I am still learning and going through this myself. I did Plan A for a year..some say too long but it wasn't affecting so much because H kept saying he didn't want a divorce. I guess I thought A would run it's course and I wouldn't have to do Plan B. Well he did move home for 3-4 months, but just recently moved out again. Has always seemed to struggle with the A. But he's addicted. Anyway, I just wanted to say I was thinking about you and you have a friend who's got your back in all this. You'll make it through as I will. Hopefully with the end result we're both looking for.

Ani6209
Posted By: weaver Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 03:58 PM
Quote
Last night some wind came up, and I wished it would continue, but it didn't. Now I'm considering buying a machine that makes a soothing sound, like rain or wind.


I used to have some nature sounds CD's I'd play to fall asleept to that were really nice.

Then I bought a small fountain for my bed side table that makes a really pretty water fall sound. It has a light in it too, as I don't like pitch black.

Have one in the living room, too. I have so many plants it helps to keep them humified...and the cat LOVES to gaze at the fountains and get drinks from them.

Not too pricy at Walmart or Shopko.

Hang in there, Charlotte. You are a joy, and I just can't wait until you live in joy again.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 04:36 PM
Josie, lucky you, you have a cat! My lease says no pets of any kind. I walk to the dog park for a dog fix.

Cats love running water. They prefer drinking from fountains and faucets and streams.

For some reason, I like the sound of wind best. Maybe because I'm Libra, an Air sign.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 04:57 PM
Cool, Bellevue!

My mom and sister are both Libras.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:00 PM
Thanks princess meggy,

You're right. And my LB is so close to the red zone that the warning buzzer is going off and lights are flashing everywhere!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:07 PM
Thanks, Bellevue.

Gotta go deep deep deep underground. Or into the vast, dark expanse of space (except for the heavenly bodies, that is!)

I have a clock that Jonesy bought for me 3 or 4 years ago. It plays CD's and has various nature sounds also. And the radio. So you can fall asleep listening to whatever you want and wake up to all three, if desired.

I haven't been using it, though. It makes me too sad. I don't know if I will end up packing it up with the mementos, though, since it is a needed item.

I'm gonna check out Freecycle. I never heard of it. I think we have a lot of things that neither one of us want and doubles of some stuff, too.

You gotta da rain, we gotta da fog, Luigi!

I think I'm gonna hook Nintendo back up for the weekend. The holidays are here, time for marathon Mario Kart 64 racing with my sister. Oh yeah, and BATTLE!!

My lawyer has a 64 in his office. My dentist used to have a whole room with toys and Nintendo for kids both big and small.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:22 PM
Quote
More: Could be the reason for the silence is that Mr. Gray and Ms. Slag are irritating each other with LoveBusters, Disrespectful Judgments and Angry Outbursts. They might even be checking up on each other.

Ms. Slag may not have told your H about the letter. She may suspect it is bad news for HER. Ms. slag may just be flakey and not very responsible about picking up her mail. Either way, if ;he doesn't receive it in time because of the slag, the sh#t will hit the fan and she will be wiping it off.

Another thought - you left a VM on his cellphone, about the ph call from the woman from [maybe] a bar. Maybe slag picked it up, they could be scrapping about that. Maybe slag erased it without his hearing it.

If it was her phone call to you, it didn't evoke the reaction she hoped for. If it was a new slag, she got a heads up and is not happy with him.

All this is good, good for you.


Sounds GREAT to me, Bellevue!!!

I think you might be right on about the letter and also erasure of messages. We already know she did that to OWH before, he told me he never got that initial evidence back in June/July.

LOL on the "wiping it off!"
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:28 PM
Thank you, Ani!!!

You are so sweet! I am really ready for Plan B now myself. That inventory can't come soon enough and if it doesn't then I'll appoint a representative to be there with whoever will be there from my lawyer's office.

(Hey Mel...ya busy?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )

Yeah, Mel would be perfect. Maybe I could get one of my very loud, very tall Czech cousins to be there. I don't know if they'd do it but they might!

Thanks again for your support Ani and...

Quote
I just wanted to say I was thinking about you and you have a friend who's got your back in all this. You'll make it through as I will. Hopefully with the end result we're both looking for.


DITTO!!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:31 PM
Quote
I think I'm gonna hook Nintendo back up for the weekend. The holidays are here, time for marathon Mario Kart 64 racing with my sister. Oh yeah, and BATTLE!!

I am embarrassed to say in my single depression....*sigh* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> I have turned to the PS2....yes I am a Final Fantasy Addict.....it feels better getting that out....if you come to cali we can hook up my PS2 and battle it out. I am surprised I haven't turned to HALO yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:32 PM
Quote
Hang in there, Charlotte. You are a joy, and I just can't wait until you live in joy again.


Thank you, Josie!

((((Josie))))

I'd give you a real hug if you were here!

BTW-you can sing & record the "Pussycats" theme song for me and I'll put it on a CD for my clock!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Sleep...the elusive stranger - 11/30/07 05:34 PM
Hi SIHW,

You're ON!!!

I'll bring Nintendo, too. Jonesy got me a Game Cube a couple of years ago but I still like Mario Kart 64 better!
Cube is fun, though. Just waaaay harder to control the players!! FAST!!!!! Woooooo!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 11/30/07 10:02 PM
I just received a call from my attorney. Inventory next week. Supposedly Mr. Gray will not be here (phew!)...it is a work day and he is on "notice" at work.

So I asked him to find out when Mr. Gray plans to get the personal items he is allotted.

Waiting for the return call on that right now. I told my attorney that I'd really like to know since Mr. Gray is still not talking to me at the moment.

I did ask "What did I do this time?" when the call came in. I did think that maybe there may have been some complaint or something just because I sent a couple of emails to my former husband, the alien.

Jonesy!! When are you gonna kill Mr. Gray?

Fight him, Jonesy!! Fight him!!

So anyway, I told my Doberman that it will probably take at least 2 days, possibly 3!

I'm so glad this is going to be done quicker than the initial date requested.

I sent Mr. Gray a "thank you" email earlier. He made the deposit into our account today instead of waiting. Wow.

I also asked him how he was and that I hoped he was doing well. Wished him a nice weekend, too.

Will I kill Mr. Gray with kindness?
I started a letter to Jonesy. Not Mr. Gray. There is no begging, etc.

I was listening to John Williams earlier and thinking about the "inner child" and the one that never leaves us.

We always had that going but apparently I tried to kill mine. I don't know if I will send him this email or not.

But I feel good just writing it.

I might post it.

I think I'll take a break first, though. I have one more heat to do in Mario Kart...Game Cube version... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: The_411 Charlotte, - 12/01/07 04:52 AM
I'm jealous I loved plying mario kart with my roommies and friends in the apartment complex I lived in back in 1999.
Always great fun especially battle mode with 4 people.

Strangely since my break I can't play video games. It's liek there's been a mental trigger pushed that makes me feel sick when I play.

Keep your good work. Remember it's a marathon and not a sprint to use an old cliche.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte, - 12/01/07 06:32 AM
Hi 411,

Battle! LOVE it! We get so caught up in that game that we play for hours and hours...screaming and vowing revenge when that last balloon gets popped. I don't know if we'll play for hours this year but it's still a fond memory.

I wish you could still play. I'm sorry it is a trigger for you. I'm hoping that I'll be able to get into and not think about how different it's going to be this year since Jonesy will not be here for Christmas.

I'm trying to get that to gel im my head...the "marathon, not a sprint," thing.

I was just thinking that it's been a whole month since I told OWH. Sure feels like a LOT longer. I feel like I've lived a whole lifetime since "Brave New World" started.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 06:40 AM
I went to bed at 10. Woke up around 12. Said dang when I saw the clock.

I was dreaming something about Jonesy and recovery. DIL was there. Makes sense, I was talking to her right before bed. We are going to the town Christmas celebration in the morning with DGS. Later on there will be a lighted parade. It starts right in front of my grandma's house so we have great seats! The horses are never happy about it, though!

I was there last year but I didn't go outside and watch. I was depressed. I stayed inside and heard all of the fun. I remember crying. I couldn't leave so I had to wait for it to be over before I went home.

I don't even remember if I told Jonesy that I cried.

I'm starting to feel bad about the package thing. It is STILL sitting at Slag's post office. I will wait a couple of more days but after that I think I should warn Mr. Gray. Or should I? Would that be enabling? He forgot all about it. I don't know!!!!!!! I only know that taking care of his court business for him enabled him plenty when he was still here.

I don't know what to do about this. If anyone has an opinion on the matter, please let me know!

Thanks!

Charlotte...who will now attempt the extraordinary feat of FALLING ASLEEP again!!!
Posted By: Orchid Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 08:18 AM
C22,

Like I said last night:

Quote
Stop stressing. It's their problem if they can't face receiving a package. Yea.... expect them to act all paranoid, then you can use RB to throw it back in their faces. LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


....Now get some rest. Do some deep breathing cleansing exercises.... smith some lavender essential oils if you have.... just learn to relax.

Now ask your lawyer what needs to happen if that pkg is not claimed by Wednesday or whatever day or deadline you need it to be picked up.

Don't sweat the stink stuff. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Now go get some rest..... see if the breathing exercises will help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

take care,
L.
Posted By: RIF Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 08:21 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I take it your H is staying at the OW's house and you mailed the package to her address...and that's where your H is receiving his mail???

If that's the case, then you've more than done your part.

I hope you get some rest... if not, I'll be here!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 08:49 AM
Hi Orchid!

You're right. I don't know what I was thinking! D'oh!!!

It won't be my fault and he'll have to deal with reality. Of course he'll be mad at me but...what the hey?

He already is.

I've done my part. I tried to help him because he so obviously forgot.

I'll do better, I promise. No more fretting!! Well, I will cut down on it a bit at least! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 08:56 AM
Thanks RIF!

I have no idea, really. He was vague about it at the hearing the other day. He just kept saying he had to get a place to stay. Trying to get out of giving me support. 'sokay...my Doberman had him over a barrel and he knew it.

All I know from OWH is that her parents are extremely mad at her because of this and they own the house. Would stand to reason that she wouldn't want to p them off more. But we aren't expecting reasoning to be functioning properly in the wayward mind, eh?

So I don't know. I would think OWH might have mentioned it, but he didn't. I think he'd know. I could be wrong, though.

Of course, Mr. Gray could already have a place and just not want me to know where it is. Like I care? Like I'm gonna waste gas driving by or something? Geez, he's at least an hour away, wherever he is! Oh yeah...there's that "reasoning" again!!!!

I might try to sleep soon. I was sitting here mindlessly playing "Hearts" on the pc and trying to beat the cheatin' thang! 2nd place is my best score right now! (dang cheatin' thing!)
Posted By: RIF Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 09:03 AM
Hi Charlotte,

Well, if he didn't leave a good address to forward his mail, then too bad/so sad!

You've done all that you need to do...

Have you played Spider Solitare yet? I used to play that alot when I couldn't sleep, but we don't have any games on our computers over here...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 09:22 AM
Hi RIF,

You're right. I have done all I can do. I might as well stop stressing. I'm working on it! I'm sure I'll have another episode, though!

Yes, I like Spider Solitaire. Haven't been able to do more than one suit yet, though. It's so hard!!! I almost did it once but since then I've stuck to one suit.

Quote
Well, if he didn't leave a good address to forward his mail, then too bad/so sad!
LOL!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Stupid sleep! Come back here! - 12/01/07 09:26 AM
Mr. Gray turned me on to Spider Solitaire back in the day. It hasn't spoiled it for me to be able to play it, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 10:10 AM
I shot the moon! I won! I won! WoooooHooooo!

Going to sleep for real this time!

G'nite, All!

Have a great day/night...wherever you may be!
Posted By: RIF Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 12:08 PM
Hi Charlotte,

Sorry I wasn't around earlier... our internet went down for a bit... Hope you're sleeping well...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: believer Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 04:37 PM
Charlotte - Have you talked to her parents and let them know that you want the marriage? You can even add that you love the guy even though he is having some addiction issues and a bit of trouble with the law.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 04:51 PM
C22, I'm picking up from your posts that you are doing a lot lot lot better. Okay, so you're having trouble sleeping, having bad dreams, etc. Still, you're functioning, and you are following a plan. And your sense of humor is still working too.

About the package: You have done all you could, and more than anyone has a right to expect. Are you supposed to run after Mr. Gray with a rag and a spray bottle, wiping up his messes? Were he not so knotted up with Slag, had he not decided to vacation with her, he would be home to receive his own darn mail in his own darn house and ignore and neglect his own darn business until C22 took care of it for him and saved his saggy [censored] for him.

Sit tight, wait for karma to work its effects.

Echoing believer, can you talk to Slag's parents? If the house is in their name, there are records that have their names, address, so forth. OR, OWH could share that with you. Remember, he is your ally in this fight.

(((((Charlotte22))))))) rooting for you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 05:39 PM
Thanks RIF!

Finally fell asleep after 5am. So I finally managed a little shut-eye!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 05:42 PM
Hi believer!

This is good idea. Mel thought a letter might be a better idea. In light of that phone call business Monday I am leaning more towards that.

I have her dad's name and address from one of the search engines. Cross-checked him with the name on the property report for the house and I'm 99.999999999999999% sure it is him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: I won! I finally won! - 12/01/07 05:50 PM
Hi Bellevue,

This is true and I still can't believe he forgot about this.

I am still having a bit of a dilemma about it, though and may end up emailing him. Not until the start of the work week, though.

I am doing okay. I am sad that Mr. Gray won't talk to me but he can't ignore me forever. Meanwhile I'm enjoying time with family and getting to know my stepkids better than ever. I always had kind of a thing about that because I didn't want to seem to be horning in as some mother replacement or something.

I told them about that and I also told Mr. Gray's XW. But the kids really love me and that made me feel so good.

I have been having a super good time with DD...we text back and forth nearly every day and she has me in stitches! She's going to come out for a visit soon.

I guess I'm closer to them now than even Mr. Gray is. What a loss for him. Especially with DD. I am still hoping that they can repair their relationship someday.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Oh! Just thought of a funny!! - 12/01/07 07:09 PM
Scene:

Me at home. Phone rings. My Doberman.

Seems he got a letter from opposing counsel that I have been sending some sort of letters to Slag.

He says he called oc and informed him that he has copies of everything in the package right in front of him and this is what it is.......(contents here)

oc splutters and sputters...the wind taken out of his haughty sails...

Egg on face! Egg on faces!! I could totally see this scenario. Might be a letter en route right now!

That would be a GREAT scenario.

Who knows? It might happen! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Oh! Just thought of a funny!! - 12/01/07 08:20 PM
C22, Is this your fantasy? If so, I love it!

If it really happened, I love it double!

[skips around computer monitor, singing softly to self]

Ooooh, just WAIT til Mr. Gray finds out that he's missed an important date and deadline, because Slag didn't pick up her registered letter. And he can't reach you, because you're in Plan B, and you have an attorney that HIS attorney needs to talk to. And he's stuck alone with the Slag. And venting to her. And miserable.

And all he can talk about over drinks and dinner is what a b#tch you are, and he doesn't even notice how she just got her hair done and how hot she looks in her new outfit, and when he gets home he can't concentrate on her in private......

just wait!

And C22 is cleaning out her closet, making room for more becoming clothes, donating out of style things to charity, and C22 strolls down the street looking so proud of herself and self-respecting, wearing a secret smile, so that men turn their heads to follow her.

C22 takes calls from her [step]kids on the cell phone, so wrapped up in their good relationship and so warm and close. Mr. Gray can't get the kids to talk to him because he betrayed their [step]mom and hurt his Wife for a slag.

Mr. Gray is shaving in the work bathroom and the light isn't very good. He misses that spot just under his chin that he always gets when shaving back in his marital home. He's spending money on clean underwear and sox, because C22 isn't doing his laundry anymore. In fact, he smells a little gamey, and there are dandruff flakes on his shoulders .....

meanwhile, back at home, C22 puts up Christmas decorations and digs out the old Bing Crosby Christmas Carol tapes to play .... and the smell of her home baked bread perfumes the kitchen.
Posted By: Orchid Re: Oh! Just thought of a funny!! - 12/01/07 09:14 PM
Mr. Doberman works on weekends? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Great!!!

OC (opposing counsel)???? Well OC here generally applies to other child but ok..... OCon now has egg on his face. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Love it!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oh! Just thought of a funny!! - 12/01/07 11:15 PM
I wish! This is my secret fantasy. Of course, I can totally see it coming to fruition since the package is still sitting there at the p.o. (tick tock tick tock tick tock!)

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> yeah, opposing counsel! I thought it would help if I left it in lowercase letters...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oh! Just thought of a funny!! - 12/01/07 11:18 PM
Yeah, Bellevue...my fantasy...(sigh...)

It may yet happen, though. I know my Doberman would love to slam that right up the rear guard if he got a nitpicking call or letter from o/c again. He was pretty p.o.'ed the other day.

I'll have to come back later...I want to talk about your story. I LOVE it!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Things keep happ'nin' - 12/01/07 11:22 PM
DIL, DGS and I were on our way out of the park earlier and we ran into an old friend of the family whose had a local band here and in H town for years.

It's funny because I was just wondering where she was because I saw my old bass player up on stage at the celebration.

She told me that he needs a singer and I said, well, why not? I have thought of this over the years, thought about getting back in on some level. Just for fun. But if it's a paying gig, more the better!

I think that's why he called here a few weeks ago. I never called him back, I was in really sad shape and I didn't know if he wanted something serious or to just be a pest. He's good at that.

So, I'll wait and see what happens. I don't know if this is for recording only or there will actually be live gigging going on.

Hey, I could invite OWH, he's in the biz. Or maybe that's not a good idea. Anyway, I'm off to the parade!!

See ya'll on the flip side!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 12:46 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Hope you have a great time at the Christmas parade!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 02:36 AM
Hi RIF!

It was great! We shouted and laughed and had a grand ol' time!

Mr. Gray only came up once. There was a float with a live miniature donkey in a manger scene.

I shouted that I wanted their donkey and DIL says, "Wait, you already have one, except it's a [censored]!"

It was lots of fun! Lots of cool floats, too. The sirens from the emergency vehicles in the parade scared DGS a couple of times, though. We put cotton in his ears but it fell out.

One float was throwing Mardi Gras beads.

The Polka float was jammin' when they went by so we hollered at them in Czech.

There's a farm near here that raises Paso Fino horses and they had three gorgeous horses...one with a mane so long it was staggering. Reminded me of the unicorns in "Legend."

There's also a farm that raises Percherons and Clydesdales so there were lots of horses this year.

It was great!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 02:42 AM
I am home now. When I got here I started to get sad about Mr. Gray.

I was thinking about this singing gig if it pans out. It will be a good thing but it just feels like I'm leaving Mr. Gray behind in the dust. Well, leaving Jonesy behind in the dust. I WANT to leave Mr. Gray behind.

So I shed a few tears over that.

Oh yeah, after DIL dropped me off and went to see if DS was up yet to go to the parade (he works nights,) there was a paper shoved in my door.

Well, I'm being sued. One of the bill collectors that we couldn't pay because of Mr. Gray's frivolous spending.

All of these bills were brought out at the hearing thanks to my Doberman, but Mr. Gray's lawyer said, "Let's just let them ride for now."

So now I guess I'm going to have to get with my Doberman and find out if I need to get a civil lawyer or if this is even going to be relevant right now with our D case in the system.

That was the only other mar on the day other than the obvious: No Jonesy.
Posted By: believer Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 02:59 AM
Be sure to contact the bill collector and tell them that your husband left and you are trying to get the money. Often they will give you a break.

Sounds like a nice day. Don't let things get you down.
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 03:28 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Glad you had a good time at the parade! We've got some visitors coming in this afternoon so I'll be busy with my "dog & pony" show... but I'll check in and see if you're still up...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 04:47 AM
Quote
my "dog & pony" show
LOL!

Thanks, RIF. I had a lot of fun today with DIL and later on with the rest of the family.

And to think, Friday night I told my mom I didn't want to go to the parade and get depressed!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 04:48 AM
Thanks, believer.

I'll try and do that. For some reason, it's not bothering me too much at the moment. That could change by the middle of the night, though, if I wake up again and fret fret fret....!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 06:01 AM
I'm thinking about emailing Mr. Gray and telling him about the offer. I want to send him a couple of pics with DIL and DGS and DGS with his cool, new Spiderman sunglasses.

He's grrrrrrrooovy!

Still just in the thinking stage, though.

What a boring existence Mr. Gray must have now.

I asked my Doberman the other day to find out when Mr. Gray was coming over here since he won't talk to me and he had to call Mr. Mud back anyway about the inventory.

I guess I'll hear the answer on Monday. I still have stuff to pack away!

And I'm worried that Mr. Gray might show up here after work since I know that inventory won't be finished in a short amount of time. So I need to find out if I need protection over here.

I guess I could forego protection but I don't know if I should.

More to fret about....geez!

I guess sleep soon and if I wake up I'll be back in to jabberwocky-on!!

I might be in to shout at ya' later, RIF!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 06:07 AM
The other day I figured out who Mr. Gray's attorney, now known as "Mr. Mudd," (forever and ever, amen!) reminds me of.

He reminds me of Admiral What'sHisWhat in Star Trek "Insurrection." Pretty soon F. Murray Abraham will take care of his booty!

Ouch!
Posted By: Miss M Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 08:05 AM
Charlotte,

If you are a wonderful singer, you should do that. I don't understand why you would leave Jonsey behind if you did this.

Pursue your dreams. I was a singer, and a good musician, still am. Play Bass as well as latin percussion. I gave it up for 18 years so my H could live his dream, and I got the regular job and stayed home to take care of the children, as he is an awesome musician. He had an affair with a singer, go figure, who did it without regard to her children, they still are angry and combative as adults.

But my kids, grown now, love me and we have a great relationship, I figure it will be my time again, soon. I wish you the best! I have been singing and playing again, and it has been great!!

Time for you to be you.
My question is, why would your singing, gigging and recording be leaving your H behind? Not your WS, but your H?

God Bless,
Love in Christ,
Miss M

Be strong, you are awesome, and WORTHY. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 08:19 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I hope that no activity means that you're getting some well deserved rest!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 04:39 PM
Charlotte, contact the bill collector and their lawyer and tell them Mr. Gray no longer lives at your address, but still works at XXXX, in case they want to serve him there. If they go to court and win a default judgment against him/you, Mr. Gray's wages can be garnisheed.

Also, while explaining the situation to them, if it is a bill for you as a couple, ask what they would want from you, who wants to honor her obligation but due to her WH's frivolous actions is not able to put her hands on much money right now. Ask if they are willing to work with you.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 08:59 PM
Quote
If they go to court and win a default judgment against him/you, Mr. Gray's wages can be garnisheed.

FYI: Not in Texas. Wages can only be garnished for child support, taxes and student loans, not for debts. They CAN however execute a judgment against a bank account if they know where it is.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 09:30 PM
princessmeggy,

Ah, I didn't know that. Laws of the Republic of Texas are different than the Country of California.

Thank you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 09:37 PM
Bellevue,

LOL, Texas does have it's own code. Shoot, they still have hanging on the books for stealing a horse. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 09:41 PM
I was watching Glenn Beck the other night princess, and he had a law enforcement officer on and the topic was border control. Something I feel is a very important issue.

The officer mentioned that Texas could secede from the Union. Which is why I called it a Republic! I like those old-fashioned laws.

And I like Glenn Beck. He's smart, conservative, and funny, and I wish he was one of my sons! (I only have one, but I would adopt Glenn.)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 09:56 PM
Thanks, Bellevue!

I haven't decided quite yet what to do about it but I don't have the money, that's for sure, even with 1/2 of Mr. Gray's salary. The amount is way too big. Since Mr.Mudd wanted to let the bills ride for now...I am going to talk it over with my Doberman to decide the best course of action. He has copies of all bills outstanding. And there are a lot! Phew!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 09:57 PM
Hi RIF,

Believe it or not, I actually slept through the night! Must have been all of the walking around and the excitement.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 10:11 PM
Hi Miss M,

Thank you! Are you the Divine Miss M? I thought about her when I saw your handle a while back.

Quote
I don't understand why you would leave Jonsey behind if you did this.


I guess I just feel like I'm moving forward, all of these things are happening and all the while Jonesy's figure grows smaller and smaller in my rearview mirror.

He continues to stagnate in a life of sin and squalor, while using petty tactics to try and get at me to hurt me.

I know I'm growing and changing for the better but just thinking about it makes me a little sad. I hope that Jonesy is able to cast aside Mr. Gray so he can be at my side for all of this. I know he is going to cast aside Mr. Gray eventually, it's just so sad right now.

He enjoys my singing, he said so not long before the exposure explosion. I was rehearsing in one room as loud as I could because he was in the other room in IM with Slag.

Then after he finally quit for the night... we were talking and he would say something and it would remind me of a song so I'd start singing it. That happened quite a bit. Once I get started it's hard to turn me off sometimes! Even after we went to bed he said something so I had to start singing "Blackbird" by the Beatles. It was funny. And it was fun.

That's cool, I play bass though I am limited because I haven't practiced lately. Can't play like Geddy Lee or Steve Harris but I can get by.

I started learning to play the banjo but I'm still working on it! I like to play my clarinet quite a bit. My sister and I sometimes get together and jam. She plays the flute and some other instruments. I have a bass horn but I haven't printed out the fingering chart yet. Too much crapola and I just didn't care about music and stuff for a while.

I also got a set of bagpipes for Christmas last year. They're parlor-sized. I can play the chanter just fine...but I'm having a bit of trouble with the rest!

Well, plenty of time for all of that now!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 10:38 PM
You're a musician and singer?!? Music is an outlet for the soul and an expression of the heart. I've played keyboard all my life (piano, organ, whatever) and I've always said that playing soothes my soul. I can get Lost in My Music and work out lots of stuff. Get back into your music girl!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 11:12 PM
Bagpipes are my favorite instrument!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 11:35 PM
Thanks princess meggy!

Yeah, I stayed attached to it in small ways over the years. I missed being in a band but I didn't miss all of the roadie work that went with it!

But I was happy with playing my horn and for a while there my sister, her boyfriend and I had a trio with clarinet, flute and tuba!!

Her former boyfriend is a musical genius and I wanted him for a BIL so bad! He's such a sweetie. He was a lot like Mr. Gray used to be in a lot of ways. And he loved my sister SO much!

My sister is a music major. She recently went back to college for her masters. I'm not sure how much longer she has left to achieve this but she's doing great!

It's pretty cool...in our family on my grandma's side (maternal): her grandfather (or was it great-grandfather?) was an orchestra conductor and of course he could play any instrument put in front of him.

On my maternal grandpa's side: his great-grandfather (or was it great-great?) was an architect and he designed a lot of these old dance halls here in Texas. The octagonal shaped dance halls. There are still some standing in our part of Texas. I won't say his last name here but his first name was Joachim.

On my dad's side we had an English poet that is somewhat known in history, Charles Swinburne.

So we have a pretty cool heritage. I never used to think too much about it when I was younger. When I "grew up" I appreciated it a lot more but I guess that's par for the course in growing up, eh?

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/02/07 11:40 PM
Quote
Bagpipes are my favorite instrument!


Aren't they great?!?!

We have a little Scottish/Irish in our family somewhere on my dad's side so I thought I'd try and learn how to play them.

I'm going to make sure and get on that pronto so I can write a bagpipe song for you, Bellevue!

Plus I can be available for funerals, etc. if needed. Too many rely on recordings now. At my grandpa's funeral we had the bugle player (one of the VFW) but we didn't find out until later that he was using one of those fake bugles. I was disappointed. We all were. We still helped him look for his mouthpiece that he lost, though. He thought he lost it at the cemetary but we never found it.
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 01:48 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Wow, I didn't know that you were a mucisian!!! I play around with the guitar some, but I'm not very good.

I'm off to breakfast and will be here on the night-shift later on, so if you can't sleep, I'll be here!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 04:34 AM
Yay RIF!

Now we can start The MB Band!!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 04:44 AM
Good Evening Charlotte!

Actually, I help out in our chapel services and play back-up guitar with the Chaplain's assistant... but I'm not that good.

How are you doing this evening?

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: cinderella Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 04:50 AM
I play the radio and CD player!

I can roll cable over and under, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 04:59 AM
Hi RIF,

Holding it together fairly well. I packed up some more mementos and managed not to lose it. It was close, though. I packed up all of our wedding memorabilia that we had in our living room in a display case.

Bouquets, my shoes, the pillow, cake topper, etc.

Okay, so you can play rhythm guitar. Miss M can play bass...let's see... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I hope your day is going well. I might try to sleep soon. I'm trying not to think too much about Mr. Gray. I will find out tomorrow when he is going to come here for his stuff. I hope it is soon so I can give him the PBL.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 05:00 AM
Quote
I can roll cable over and under, though.


You're in! You can be the head roadie that wears the glass slippers! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 06:22 AM
Hey Charlotte,

My Texas watch says that it's 0025 in the morning... I hope you get some good rest tonight!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Things keep happ'nin' - 12/03/07 07:43 PM
Hi RIF,

I did! I actually had some pleasant dreams for a change!

TTFN,

Charlotte
Posted By: The_411 good to hear - 12/03/07 07:47 PM
It's great that you had pleasant dreams Charlotte. I wish I could get there but I sleep quite poorly these days. Hard to sleep when you have all sorts of feelings pullin in different directions.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine My Dad - 12/03/07 07:48 PM
Well, I finally had a good conversation with my dad yesterday.

When I started exposure I was working down the list but my sister knew what I was doing so she called and told him about it first.

I talked him on Halloween but not much. My stepmom called me not long after and we talked a long time. She told me he was uncomfortable talking about such a serious matter.

Well, I guess he had time to internalize things so we talked
for quite a while.

He mentioned a guy they work with that started and affair with a coworker and the methods his wife used sounded a lot like MB methods. I asked him about that but he wasn't sure. So maybe she is or was on this site before.

I am waiting right now for my Doberman to call me about the lawsuit. He is in court today so I may not hear from him until tomorrow. That's okay, though. I have until Monday to formulate some kind of response.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: good to hear - 12/03/07 07:50 PM
Hi 411!

Haven't seen you around lately. Hope your doing okay!

I know, I am surprised I was able to sleep through the night. I guess it was just all of the activity of walking around hunting for the perfect tree with my mom and friends yesterday.

The usual: "How 'bout this one?"

"Yes, but...too short, too fat, too tall, too bald, etc!!!"

It was fun and Mrs. Claus was on the premises so that was cool.
Posted By: The_411 Re: good to hear - 12/03/07 08:13 PM
Thanks for asking Charlotte ....

This was a bad weekend for me. My psych diagnosed me with Bipolar II which wasn't a shock but my symptoms were mild throughout my life. She also suggested that I take medical leave and go into a two intensive therapy program for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

On top of this I was missing my Ex like crazy and wanted to call her to explain that my Bipolar II was large cause of my lack of initiative. However thankfully my parents talked me out of it.

You, James and the erst of posters here help me stay sane and realize that the waywards do not deserve our time and effort.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: good to hear - 12/04/07 12:46 AM
Hi 411,

I'm sorry to hear about your weekend and your medical news. If you decide to do the intensive therapy, are you going to have to be somewhere on site or would you be commuting for the sessions?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well... - 12/04/07 12:52 AM
The package hasn't moved and nary a peep from Mr. Gray, either. No word on when he's coming to get his stuff from Mr. Mudd, either. They never called my Doberman back.

I'm starting to re-think contacting him about the package. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. It's his [censored]. I tried to save it.

My dad thinks I oughta let it ride, too. So I'm still thinking about it.

I guess Plan B is kinda of a moot point as far as he's concerned. He's Plan B-ing me. He probably won't ever talk to me again.

So whatever. I'll go through the motions of Plan B and that's it. He can self-destruct or grow his nads back.
Posted By: RIF Re: Well... - 12/04/07 01:21 AM
Evening Charlotte!!!

Yep, don't give the package any more thought... you've done your part...

I'll be out for a bit today, but I'll check back in with you later on... hopefully, you'll be able to sleep this evening!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 12/04/07 01:26 AM
Hi RIF!

Thank you! You and Big K and everyone else are all correctomundo! I HAVE done my part.

I'll only think about it when it shows back up here...I'm assuming that will be the case now. So I'll take it to my Doberman and let him handle it.

There's no way in heck I'm going to hand it over to Mr. Gray when he shows up to get his stuff. I don't want to be anywhere near him when he opens that thing!

Sleep...ah, I hope so. I'm still trying to make heads and tails of this madcap stacked tower of radios and related items so the lady won't get buried under it tomorrow when she comes for the inventory!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 12/04/07 01:56 AM
Furthermore...

He would've never been busted to begin with had he not made the decision to start an affair. He wouldn't have been out pilling and drinking it up with her and he would have made it home safely.

He never made that connection, though. Of course.

Well, he's gonna have to throw himself in front of the court and beg for mercy on this one. I've had it with his games. Who was that the other day asking me if I was going to follow him around and wipe up his messes?

Bellevue?

Well, you're right, dangit! I'm not gonna do that anymore. It's time for him to suck it up and act like an adult. Instead of some crybaby throwing a tantrum.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 12/04/07 01:57 AM
Looks like I done growed ma own set of nads.

Well, if Mr. Gray is nice enough he can borrow them. He sure doesn't have any anymore. Coward!
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Well... - 12/04/07 02:02 AM
<waves>
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 12/04/07 02:03 AM
Hi Big K!!!!!! <shouting>

<and waving back excitedly>

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Well... - 12/04/07 02:18 AM
Good job, Charlotte. You don't want to enable him. Let the OW take over that role.
Posted By: The_411 good stuff - 12/04/07 02:24 AM
Commuting 9-4 5 days a week then 3 months of one night a week. It's all good. I need to be on meds which is something I don't like but I'd rather be on meds than function at 70% of my full capabilities.

You're doing great Charlotte. Let Mr. Gray deal with his own mess otherwise he'll keep taking you for granted.

Let him self-destruct. That's how the A's usually end. He's got to hit rock bottom in a bad way.
Posted By: The_411 maybe ... - 12/04/07 02:27 AM
Perhaps some time in the slammer might straighten out Mr. Gray.

As I said keep up the great work Charlotte. Each day is a struggle but each day seems to be great progress for you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well... - 12/04/07 06:41 AM
Thanks believer!

I feel a lot better about the whole thing now!

It just took a "little" nudging from all you guys!

It's the right thing to do. I can see that now.

He really needs to deal with it. I didn't even have to send the darn thing, he's the one that forgot!

My butt is covered nine ways to Sunday...there's no way that this can be skewed to get me in some kind of trouble in any way.

A'course he'll be mad...but he can only really be mad at himself for forgetting and Slag for not picking up her slimy mail.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: good stuff - 12/04/07 06:45 AM
Thanks 411!

You're right. And he's so close to bottom now the scent of the rocks is wafting up into his nostrils.

He'd better watch out. He's edging closer to the Bog of Eternal Stench. I would hate to see him stink forever!

That's a pretty rough schedule! I agree about the meds. I'd rather take them, too, if I were in your shoes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 06:51 AM
Quote
Perhaps some time in the slammer might straighten out Mr. Gray.

As I said keep up the great work Charlotte. Each day is a struggle but each day seems to be great progress for you.


I agree. I think jail would definitely be a reality check for him. It's so funny...we were always worried about DS25 and what was in store for him after he had to go to jail for that prank and DS21 because he lived in a part of town rife with gangs. Well, they've both come out smelling like roses and their dad is the one who's gone the way of the outlaw! The irony kills me!

I'm trying to keep up the good work. Okay so far, I guess. I had a bad moment earlier but managed to ride it out. Just thinkin' 'bout the crappy way he has been treating me since June (I know, I let him do it, shame on me!) and then he has the gall to be mad?

Geez!

Good thing I don't throw things around like my sister used to. There wouldn't be anything to inventory!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 06:54 AM
What the heck now?

He changed his status in my gmail. Now it is showing him available for chat.

Go figure. Chicken-livered, game-playing so and so!

He ignores me and then does crap like that. Well, he should have learned by now...he ignores me at his peril!
Posted By: RIF Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 06:55 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Well, at least you know that he's following the WS handbook... so you pretty much know what to expect.

I'm sure that reality is starting to set in for him and the OW... it will take some time, but it will eventually end.

Stay strong and stay your course.... you WILL make it through this time.

Semper Fi,

RIF

PS - I'll be outside the wire for a while, but I'll check back later on this afternoon... hope you get some sleep tonight!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 07:12 AM
Thanks RIF!

I know I'll make it somehow! Luckily I haven't had any really bad crashes lately but I'm sure I will again. I just hope not too soon.

I don't know when I'll drop off...I'm still trying to get the launching area ready for the photog lady!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: The_411 Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 03:06 PM
It's just posturing the status changes in gmail chat. Mixed singals are the best way to keep some one attracted aside from telling them to go away <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dobie Re: good stuff - 12/04/07 03:09 PM
Quote
He'd better watch out. He's edging closer to the Bog of Eternal Stench. I would hate to see him stink forever!

You can't have any clue how many times I've seen that movie!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 04:15 PM
Quote
It's just posturing the status changes in gmail chat. Mixed singals are the best way to keep some one attracted aside from telling them to go away <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good insight, 411.

Mr. Gray has no idea of the backup our sweet Charlotte has in HER corner.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 04:36 PM
Thanks Bellevue!

I don't know what I'd do without all of you in my corner. I think I'd be a basket case!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: maybe ... - 12/04/07 04:39 PM
Thanks 411!

He's going to be posturing to himself after he gets the PBL!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He had me going, though. I typed a rant to my sister around 2am or so.

She writes back, "Don't let him get to you!"

I'm trying, ya'll, I'm trying!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: good stuff - 12/04/07 04:56 PM
Isn't it GREAT! And David Bowie as the Goblin King....Wooooo! His clothes, that hair...perfect! They couldn't have picked a better Goblin King.

"I saw my Baby, crying hard as babe could cry...
What could I do?
My Baby's love had gone...
And left my Baby blue...Nobody knew:

What kind of magic spell to use...

(Slime and snails, or puppy dog's tails...thunder or lightning...)

And Baby said: -----------

Dance Magic Dance
Dance Magic Dance

Got that baby's spell on me!!

(etc. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Inventory update - 12/04/07 05:02 PM
Well, they came, they saw, we did not conquer.

As much as I tried to get his things in order it was to much of a disaster to get anything done today.

They took photos of the disaster, that was about it!

They were a really nice couple and she had to give me a hug.

So they called Mr. Mudd, I called my Doberman.

Now I'll be working more on Mr. Gray's disastrous mountain and packing away more memoribilia (every time I turn around, there's yet more!)

Then I'm going to take a break, go to Hobby Lobby for some wax and drop off the citation with my Doberman. He's going to take care of it.

Fun, fun and more fun! Anybody close by wanna come give me a hand with these radios?

It was so funny, the lady was like...you need to put this in storage so you can have room to live and move!

And I thought about that, too. But it would have to be climate controlled so the humidity wouldn't damage anything. We didn't have a place here before in this town that was climate controlled. I *think* we do now but I'll have to double check.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Inventory update - 12/04/07 05:38 PM
CHAR!!! **HUGS** glad your holdin up sweetie...BTW HAPPY PAGE 100!
Posted By: maggiemagster whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/04/07 06:52 PM
I'm new here (well, been lurking on and off) and I just spent every spare minute in the last 4 days reading this entire thread.

Charlotte, I am cheering for you. Your husband is so lucky - I hope he comes out of the fog soon and wises up. As a former WS, all I can tell you is that he WILL wake up, and when he does, he will be eternally grateful to you for all the steps you have taken to keep your marriage home intact. You have provided a soft place for him to land so that he can get his life back in order - that makes you an amazing, rare, wonderful spouse. Keep holding your head high.

I don't have any advice, because I have all my own nonsense to work on, but you are in good hands here, and I will definitely be checking back in here to cheer you on!
Posted By: Rock__ Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/04/07 08:29 PM
Sorry to TJ. maggie, have you posted your story here yet. You sound like a great success story. If you do wish to ever share, drop by my thread on the recovery board.
Thanks.
(sorry about the TJ)
Posted By: maggiemagster Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/04/07 08:48 PM
Thanks rocksolid, I'm only 3 months since NC, but my husband is amazing and I am working hard to be an amazing wife. I will stop by your thread and maybe get up the courage to share (this board is pretty rough, understandably, on WS) - maybe I can give people some hope that we CAN and DO come out of the fog!!!

Ok, sorry to TJ - GO GO GO CHARLOTTE!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 02:10 AM
maggiemagster,

The Board is rough on cheaters but very supportive to reformed cheaters who have come out of the fog. Welcome.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Inventory update - 12/05/07 03:09 AM
Hi SIHW!!!

I'm good! I'm really, really good!

Thanks for asking!!

Oh, and thanks for the congrats!

P.S.) Do I get a cake? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 03:14 AM
Hi maggiemaster!

Wow, 4 days!! I'd better warn my stepmom. I am directing her here to check out the MB principles and read my thread to find out everything that's happened since Exposure Explosion. I told her about some things but I know I left some stuff out!

Thank you so much for posting your support! It's this kind of thing that keeps me going when I'm ready to tell Mr. Gray to go roast.

If I give you his email, will you write to him for me? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Thanks again and take care!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Lawsuit update - 12/05/07 03:23 AM
Well I finally made it home a little while ago. I was in such a good mood after I left my Doberman that I went shopping and bought something nice for myself. I went to Kohl's. I've never been there before.

My Doberman had several suggestions as to what to do about the suit. He said we could go to court and he'd stand up for me there or he could file an answer in absentia, or etc. He's going to mull it over for a couple of days and let me know.

He asked me if Mr. Gray was harassing me so he could take care of it if necessary. I said that I wish he would harass me, just a little. I told him he's harassing me by ignoring me.

I told him I'd sent the email today with the Saturday update and the pics to Mr. Gray. I told him that I'm surprised he hasn't gotten any phone calls from Mr. Mudd complaining that his client Mr. Gray is being harassed by his wife sending emails about the family and pics of their grandson!!!!

We got a good laugh out of that. But I was serious, too, when I said it. I am surprised and I hope it doesn't happen, but you never know! Of course it would make him look like an even bigger [censored], but what does his WS mind know?

We talked about some other things and then I left. And went shopping!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 03:25 AM
Laff I took me one day jsut to read 150 page of the idiotville thread.

Keep it up Char.

P.S. looks like me and the OMW will be talking later this week. So we'll see what can of trouble I can brew. She seems pretty strong willed so perhaps her husband is a serial cheater <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. We'll see. Not doing this for revenge but out of love for all human beings.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 03:35 AM
Hi 411!!

Good luck with your meeting!

I like this line:

Quote
out of love for all human beings.


I thought about you and RIF earlier. After I left my Doberman and went shopping it was too late for me to bake the chicken in the fridge so I wanted a deli sandwich. The place next to Hobby Lobby was closed and Subway was just not an option!

So I drove down a bit and went to the New York Pizzaria. Owned by authentic Italians. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

While I was there this Italian guy came in with two blonde chickies. He was definitely a native of Italy, not the U.S. (He wasn't wearing skimpy shorts though, RIF!!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So I just had an Italian kind of day today. It's all good!
Posted By: The_411 Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 04:28 AM
Thanks Charlotte,

I'm nervous because I've always been a conflict avoider. However, this is the right thing to do for the OMW the children, my WxGF and the OM.

That's a funny anecdote Charlotte.

Italian days are good. Although the OMM has been polluting my WxGf with all things Italian. Even saying things to her in Italian. Grrr He's not even Italian which makes it even more insulting.

Sometime I wish my father had taken up that offer to join a "family". :P
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 04:51 AM
Hi 411!


Quote
I'm nervous because I've always been a conflict avoider. However, this is the right thing to do for the OMW the children, my WxGF and the OM.


ITA! You're right on the money about this!

Quote
That's a funny anecdote Charlotte.


Thank you! (Charlotte wiggles eyebrows up and down.)

Quote
Italian days are good. Although the OMM has been polluting my WxGf with all things Italian. Even saying things to her in Italian. Grrr He's not even Italian which makes it even more insulting.


Oh that sucks! And not even Italian! That's just disgusting! There's just no substitute for the real thing!

With Mr. Gray...Slag was trying to teach him French. He would go into Babelfish all of the time for translations for their slop.

I was like...what's so great about France? That's where Princess Di passed away!!!

Ewww, it's so sickening. And what language did I want Mr. Gray to learn? Klingon. I even bought a book for him for Christmas one year. Now what's more fun? French or Klingon?

We know the hands-down winner of that question!

And she would give him her stupid calendar pages, too. With cheesy little sayings and such on them. He brought them home a couple of times. The last time he did I took them and burned them. Nuttin' but trash from trash!

Quote
Sometime I wish my father had taken up that offer to join a "family". :P
Oh, ITA ITA ITA!!!! You don't know how much I wished I was Italian and in the mob when this happened!!!! I was so, "I wish I was Tony Soprano!" (Except for the wh*ring around...Tony was such a ho!) Just the mob justice stuff..."ya mess wit da fam'ly...ya gonna be swimmin' wit da fishes!!!!"
Posted By: The_411 Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 05:01 AM
Hey Charlotte,

Laff I actually do speak French as it was the first language I learned really. However, I compeltely understand the trigger.

There are some great people there and Paris is a hoot but all the same that type of trigger pisses me off because it's coming from the same dishonesty black hole.

Klingon eh good stuff.

I use the hitman answer when people ask me what I do. Granted I'm a pacifist (ok not really) but it's extremely rare when I get angry but when I do it's not good as I turned into the incrdible hulk and I'm very very nasty.

Laff often at times I wsih I was a mafioso so I could frighten the crap out of these adulterous fools.

Just wish things worked like in the movie The Crow when Brandon Lee twists the mothers arm and heroin rolls out and she's no longer addicted.

Talk about your come to Jesus monents. I think that's what every BS hopes for.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 05:18 AM
Hi 411!

Quote
Laff I actually do speak French as it was the first language I learned really. However, I compeltely understand the trigger.

There are some great people there and Paris is a hoot but all the same that type of trigger pisses me off because it's coming from the same dishonesty black hole.


You know French? I'm so sorry, 411! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" /> Just kiddin'!

ITA with your second paragraph! Dang detrimental black holes of dishonesty and deceit!

Quote
Klingon eh good stuff.

Yeah! Klingons! Honorable...double organs in their bodies...livin' in the NOW...honoring of the death of another Klingon, enemy or not...etc. (So funny in Insurrection when Worf got a "gorch!")

Quote
I use the hitman answer when people ask me what I do. Granted I'm a pacifist (ok not really) but it's extremely rare when I get angry but when I do it's not good as I turned into the incrdible hulk and I'm very very nasty.

Laff often at times I wsih I was a mafioso so I could frighten the crap out of these adulterous fools.


LOL on the hitman answer! OWH is Italian, I think he does this, too!

Incredible Hulk: "Don't make me angry...you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!!!!" (That movie was okay but the series was just so touching and heartbreaking with the sadness of being cut-off from the normalcy of life. The serious captured it SO WELL!) Yeah, Mr. Gray like the series, too. Slag? She was an adolescent when The Incredible Hulk was on. Not old enough to appreciate it. (If she was me, she'd have started young. I was barely a smidgen when I fell in love with Batman (Adam West.)

Not that my mom relied on tv as a babysitter or anything. I was just hooked on it, is all!

Quote
Just wish things worked like in the movie The Crow when Brandon Lee twists the mothers arm and heroin rolls out and she's no longer addicted.


Heck yeah!

Quote
Talk about your come to Jesus monents. I think that's what every BS hopes for.


10-4 on THAT!!!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 05:46 PM
Hey I'm italian we arn't all bad....don't know why people think we are all connected....my XH came home one night during our separation and our screen door was open...he was living in our home alone....he got so scared he thought I had place a hit on him......I laughed when he told me that....it was so funny. He was crying when he told me that. He looked at me like I was insane.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 06:05 PM
Hi SIHW!

I agree...Italians are not all bad, not at all. Nope. Didn't mean to imply that...if it came across that way!!

That's pretty funny how your XH thought you had a hit out on him, though!! LMAO!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 08:52 PM
Bam!

A over!

What's next?

Personal Recovery!

Then we'll see!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 09:03 PM
Wow 411, that's GREAT!!!!!!

I'm happy for you at this wonderful news!!!

I can't wait to "Bam!" you with similar news.

If Mr. Gray doesn't wait until it's too late. It's getting there already.
Posted By: The_411 Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 09:59 PM
Thanks Charlotte,

You don't know how much you, James, and everyone else has helped me to this point. I rather doubt that I couldn't have gotten to this point with coming here and meeting wonderful and supportive people.

Now comes perhaps a more difficult part. I'm am recovering myself, but in this state I'm vulnerable and now she will be reaching out as she did today via e-mail. It wasn't much but it was enough to make me frantic and I've had a hard hard time keeping calm at my desk.

However, I'm sturck by the realization that it's only a start and many here as well those close to me have strongly advocated not looking back and finding someon who I deserve. I will be taking it strongly under advisement.

The good thing is I'm much more prepared for this day than I could have possibly been without speding invaluable time here and on the web learning as much as I could.

I'm not going anywhere because I can't leave anyone here. I want to see things resolved whether it's a rebuilt marriage or rebuilt people.

I'm still pulling for you Charlotte jsut as much as ever because I know that those that are here are the salt of the earth and comprise good people who have been dealt a tragedy.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/05/07 11:35 PM
Quote
You don't know how much you, James, and everyone else has helped me to this point. I rather doubt that I couldn't have gotten to this point with coming here and meeting wonderful and supportive people.


Thank you, 411! It's really sweet of you to say so. Some may call it "birds of a feather, flock together," etc. because we are on MB and there are a lot of betrayed spouses...but like others here, I really care about you and everyone else and the newcomers who come here in so much pain even though I only know most here through the keyboard.

Quote
Now comes perhaps a more difficult part. I'm am recovering myself, but in this state I'm vulnerable and now she will be reaching out as she did today via e-mail. It wasn't much but it was enough to make me frantic and I've had a hard hard time keeping calm at my desk.


I can totally relate to the frantic!

Quote
However, I'm sturck by the realization that it's only a start and many here as well those close to me have strongly advocated not looking back and finding someon who I deserve. I will be taking it strongly under advisement.


I get this also. A lot of positive things have happened since Exposure Explosion. I've met SO many great people and I am closer to my stepchildren than I ever was. I know that I could fall in love again. Opportunities keep popping up and sometimes I feel like Mr. Gray was dragging me down even before the affair because I was so cloistered...I'd go take care of my grandma and then go home. Never anywhere else except the necessary places although sometimes we broke protocol and saw a movie or went out to eat. His "hermit" tendencies rubbed off on me a lot.

Quote
The good thing is I'm much more prepared for this day than I could have possibly been without speding invaluable time here and on the web learning as much as I could.


I haven't yet given up on the hope that I might see the same someday.

Quote
I'm not going anywhere because I can't leave anyone here. I want to see things resolved whether it's a rebuilt marriage or rebuilt people.


10-4 on that!

Quote
I'm still pulling for you Charlotte jsut as much as ever because I know that those that are here are the salt of the earth and comprise good people who have been dealt a tragedy.


Thank you, 411...and I'm still hangin' in there. I really need B soon and now it's delayed because the inventory is delayed. I'm trying to hang on...I'm hanging over the edge of the cliff and slipping but I'm digging in with my fingernails trying to hang on! A couple of them peeled back and now blood is running down my hands but I'm still hanging on!

I know I can't rush things but if he dorks around too long it will be too late for us. I don't want that to happen. So I'm hanging on...it's SO hard right now, but I'm not giving up.
Posted By: RIF Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/06/07 01:27 AM
Good evening Charlotte!!!

Sorry I've been AWOL... we've had some missions outside the wire so I haven't been on my normal nigh-shift.

Hope you're doing well... I've got to go out again today, but will check back in with you later on this evening/early tomorrow morning...

Went to the gym this morning but didn't see any Italians... it's colder now, so I think the Italians put away their skimpy shorts... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Now we just get to see them in spandex... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> Too bad they don't have any good looking Italian WOMEN...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: whew, I read the whole thing... - 12/06/07 01:58 AM
Quote
Too bad they don't have any good looking Italian WOMEN...
LOL, RIF!!!

Thanks for checking in...I thought you forgot about me...(sniff...)

Spandex...LOL!!!

Ya' got me goin' now!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, this is screwy - 12/06/07 05:41 AM
I've been talking to DIL for a couple of hours in IM. Mr. Gray was logged in at the same time.

I checked my other mail and he had logged into chat in that mail as well.

Well, I left my g'ma's really late. I drove around the block before I came home.

I logged back in to IM. Mr. Gray had logged out. He had also logged out of the other email.

Coincidence?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Adding.... - 12/06/07 05:43 AM
Just like the day before yesterday...I left a "special" message in my status box.

He didn't do this yesterday, when there was no message in the status box and I wasn't in IM because I was gone.

Well, today I left a "special" message in my status box again and VOILA! He does the same thing as the other day.

Seems fishy to me. But that's just me.
Posted By: RIF Re: Adding.... - 12/06/07 03:04 PM
Morning Charlotte!

Could be that he's just checking to see if you're on-line... hee hee, and if the OW is looking over his shoulder, you can BET that will be a Love Buster for her!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Adding.... - 12/06/07 04:05 PM
Hi RIF!

He must've been. I think that was too much of a coincidence to be one!

Gee, you'd think he'd have better things to do than check to see if his wife is online!
Posted By: RIF Re: Adding.... - 12/07/07 04:03 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Hope you're doing well this evening! I have a few things to do this morning and early afternoon, but I'll check back with you later on the Night-Shift!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Adding.... - 12/07/07 06:56 AM
Thanks RIF!

I'm still up. Trying to figure out when I should go to sleep. Soon I guess. I'm not tired, though.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Adding.... - 12/07/07 07:13 AM
Charlotte, you and I should both go to bed. I know someone has dredged up a bunch of my issues so I'm sitting here reading on MB trying to decide when it's time to call it a night. I think this is the time. Don't know about you but I will only get about 5 hrs of sleep tonight.

I know I haven't posted to you often but I think you are doing a good job. It's amazing how well we can handle these things when we have to.

[color:"red"]A woman is like a teabag - you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.[/color]
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Adding.... - 12/07/07 07:18 AM
Thank you, cinderella!

I'm still hangin' in, even though Mr. Gray's being such a thang!

Five hours? I don't know if I'll manage that much!!

Quote
A woman is like a teabag - you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.


So, so true! LOL!!

Have a great night!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 09:37 AM
Okay, here's MY interpretation of the blog. This should take care of any problems I guess:

Yes, I'm still up.

I hadn't checked Mr. Gray's blog out lately.

Here is what he posted on November 14 @ 12:36am or so:

Blah blah blah Divorce blah blah***
-
Well fellow friends and colleagues, my wife has filed for divorce. I didn't listen to her when she told me three or four times that she had filed to protect herself from my actions. I was taking money out of our bank account by the fistfuls so I could use it to have fun with my affair partner.

So when I was served at work...I was sick and sad and I threw up ALL day the next day!

Yes, I cheated on my wife and she finally called me on it. Like the coward I am, I ran away and couldn't face her for a few days.

The woman I came home to was someone I didn't recognize. She oozed self-confidence and frankly...she SCARED me!

I thought my wife would be begging me to come home so I could be home and relax and continue my affair in relative comfort while my wife took care of the menial things like laundry and keeping me fed so I could keep up the strength to continue my affair.

I haven't been sleeping well and I think my wife is going to take all of my fun stuff away. All of my things that are SO important to my survival, like my Avenger and Stargate DVD collections.

I guess a lot of the other stuff will have to be sold to afford a Doberman. She does need protection against me now, after all. I guess I'll get a Chihuahua. Should be sufficient.

And cheaper.

Well, I guess I'd better sign-off now. I'm living downtown in a slophouse and the water heaters aren't very big so I'll probably end up taking a cold shower. Oh well, I guess I need it.

Here's irony for ya': our first hearing is next week. It's the day before Turkey Day, which also happens to be our 14.5 year anniversary. Nice, huh?


'Nuff whining,

Mr. Gray
-
Posted By: Orchid Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 09:42 AM
Hey C22,

Where's he posting his pity party? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

No need tell....just curious. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Be strong. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L.
Posted By: ManInMotion Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 12:02 PM
Quote
Yes, I'm still up.

I hadn't checked Mr. Gray's blog out lately.

Here is what he posted on November 14 @ 12:36am or so:

Charlotte, if you want to preserve your anonymity, it's probably not a good idea to refer to content that sits on a website run by your H or yourself. Anyone who knows how to use a search engine like Google can quickly find out more about your identity than you prefer to reveal.
Posted By: suamico Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 02:46 PM
Quote
Charlotte, if you want to preserve your anonymity, it's probably not a good idea to refer to content that sits on a website run by your H or yourself. Anyone who knows how to use a search engine like Google can quickly find out more about your identity than you prefer to reveal.

I agree, it took me a few seconds to find.

Charlotte, I would advise you to edit that post and delete what Mr. Grey posted.
Hi Orchid!

His blog on our website.

I'll just bet he was hoping I'd see it.

At least he didn't badmouth me.
Hi MIM and suamico,

Thanks. What's in there that makes it easy to be found? The title?

There's really nothing on there that I have to hide.
charlotte,

if you type any of the text you posted from his blog and enter it into google, it brings up his blog. I agree with others, edit it out.

Is he serious with that username? Is that in reference to his pill use?

sending strength and prayers your way...
Ah, I see.

No, his username is in reference to our last name.
Should I care, really?

He blared it out there for the whole world.

The only thing I wouldn't want is for it to bring him here at this point.

I put MY name in a search engine and the second page led to my profile here! My real name, that is.
Posted By: suamico Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 03:40 PM
Quote
Ah, I see.

No, his username is in reference to our last name.

CHARLOTTE! Now I know your first, his first and your last name, What state you live in etc. With that info I can find out all kinds of info on you. This is what we are talking about. It isn't that you have something to hide but that some looney can show up at your door step! Please edit it out.
Wow, really?

I hope you didn't see that terrible pic of me on there.

Gee, I didn't know all of that was on there. I'll see what I can do to edit and preserve content. Kinda wanted to see what others thought about it, ya know?
I hope this is better. I put in a bunch of different lines and the site didn't come up.
Posted By: suamico Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 04:04 PM
Quote
Wow, really?

I hope you didn't see that terrible pic of me on there.

Gee, I didn't know all of that was on there. I'll see what I can do to edit and preserve content. Kinda wanted to see what others thought about it, ya know?

Naw, I didn't see your picture but I did find out how much HAM and CBing mean to Mr. Gray. I know he is being a complete A$$ right now but I hope you find it in your heart to make sure he gets that stuff. I also can see from his posting where he is a caring person (some stuff he wrote about you and others) and see where you miss Jonesy..... I hope he comes back, if not in your marriage (praying) then after so you both can be close again. You KNOW Jonesy is in there but Mr. Gray has him pinned down. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> As for my opinion on his blog, he is having himself a great big pitty party. If I didn't know anything about you and just read that post I would feel sorry for him...but I know better!
Posted By: The_411 Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 05:09 PM
Charlotte,

It's never a good idea to let too many people know your business even if exposure tends to help end affairs. He wants sympathy pure and simple.

He's coming up with all sorts of justifications and he wants others to throw a pity party for them.

Beleive me, when my WxGF e-mailed me she told me her emotional state to draw me in to give her symptahy. Problem is I saw it for what it was a way to make her feel better.

Yesterday she sent me an e-mail wanting to meet in person to give me a check. Yet one month ago she didn't want to see me and wanted to send my mail to my parents house.

Mr. Gray is lost because he's nowhere near defogging. He needs to face reality in order to reach a breaking point. You need to let him hit the deepest darkest of holes before he'll be capable of showing remorse.

I'm only two dayspost A and my WxGF has shown nothing to indicate any remorse for what she's done.
Thank you, suamico.

Mr. Gray has been in charge for so long now that I am forgetting how good and sweet and kind Jonesy was. I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

I don't want any of the stuff in our house. As far as I'm concerned he can have all of it. It is nothing but a source of pain. All I need are some clothes and cooking utensils. Everything in there is a trigger. Movies are a trigger. TV shows are triggers. Books, frying pans, coffee cups...on and on.

I might as well just go find a cave to live in and make my own tools to use.

We like so many of the same things that there's just no way out of this hellhole for me.

All of the things he loves are now tied up in court. So now he hates me. I don't want the stuff. Granted, the money used on it should have been used to pay bills but the only reason I had my Doberman add it to the agreement was so he couldn't sell things and use the proceeds to further his affair.

Now he hates me. I guess if I was shaped like a Browning "Golden Eagle" or any number of others and I had a tuner and a squelch I would be A-OK.

I will do Plan B for me. It won't make a bit of difference in his corner.

I'll just be relegated to some nasty name like he has for his XW.

I was already just an initial to him so it won't be much of a stretch to come up with a name for me, I'm sure.

I'll just work on me and pack up the house and get crap in order for inventory and tour that school and stay busy and wait for the inevitable.
Thanks 411.

I know your right. I just don't know if he'll EVER get out of the fog.

I might as well move to London. At least the fog is world famous and not such a bad thing there. (Unless you have to live with it all of the time, I guess. Then it might be a different story. Especially if werewolves are hiding in it!)

Maybe I'll just take my 1/2 or whatever of the settlement and move out of America. I guess I might have been right. I don't think I can stay in the States anymore with him here.
Quote
Is he serious with that username? Is that in reference to his pill use?


Oh, THAT name. No, it's a radio.
Posted By: cathys01 Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 06:42 PM
Quote
Maybe I'll just take my 1/2 or whatever of the settlement and move out of America. I guess I might have been right. I don't think I can stay in the States anymore with him here.

I have an aunt that actually had it written in her divorce decree that she would remain in her home state and he would have to move to ANY other state in the country. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> It worked for her!
Really? That's cool!

I would ask about it, but Anywhere, USA is going to be too close for comfort!

I'm talking to my stepdaughter AND my DIL in IM.

They are SO great!

DD wants to come to the next court hearing. I don't know if that's a good idea but if it is she is more than welcome. She wants to sit on my side.
Posted By: SIHW Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 06:54 PM
I GOT A NEW CAR!!!!

yes if you didn't know I am EXCITED <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I got a new 2008 nissan sentra with blue tooth stuff. I luff it.
Wow! That's great, SIHW!!!!!!!

What color is it?

(Besides "blue tooth" LOL!)

I want one! I use my bluetooth all the time anyway!
Posted By: The_411 Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 07:22 PM
Charlotte,

I felt the same way too. I've been contemplating a move to Europe.

However, that being said Plan B is rough <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />. It's hard to detach from someone you love especially when you can see that they are floundering and their life would be much more simple out of the A.

Here's the thing. You've shown incredible strengh thus far. Conitue to do so. If you want to move to Europe then do so but only if you are doing it for you.

Going to Europe may take you away from the posion of the A but the A will be a part of you.

You use as a source of strength and do things because now you are chosing to live for you rather than living for him.

You control your destiny.
Quote
I'll just work on me and pack up the house and get crap in order for inventory and tour that school and stay busy and wait for the inevitable.

Charlotte. Stop this. I hear so much pain and negativity in this post. I hope I'm wrong. You have no IDEA of what the future holds. How can you plan A (when you get the opportunity-- and you will) if you're in this mindset?

Right now you should be concentrating on YOU and not so much on him. I KNOW what you're feeling right now (the funk) because I've lived it. I went through it during the holidays too.

So let me ask you... what has Charlotte done for Charlotte today? Nothing like a good facial, pedicure, etc. to boost the old morale.

(((Charlotte)))
Posted By: SIHW Re: OH, This is just SO freakin' CUTE!!! - 12/07/07 07:42 PM
Oh it's a beautiful sapphire blue.......I love the MP3 option....

Play artist Micheal Bolton.....hahaha (i love that commercial) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

no it's not a focus but I never knew Nissan had the same option till I checked.....and all the Nissan's I have had have ALWAYS been so reliable. It's a cheaper payment and WAY better on gas than my truck was. Merry x-mas to me....hehe....now santa has to go shopping for DS.... we got transorfers and pirates definatly on the list....what are you getting DGS.
Thanks princess meggy.

I'm trying. It's so hard.

Especially with him plan b-ing me in his own way
Just a thought. It's obvious that he's computer saavy. If you found your own name with Google linking you to MB, is it possible that he's done the same? Does he think like that?
Thanks 411,

I'm trying to hang in.

Gets harder every day.

Tryin' to stay busy.

Waiting for Mr. Gray

To go away.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Losin' it - 12/07/07 11:58 PM
JONESY!!!!!!!!

Save me!!!

Save us, you Fool!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 01:18 AM
Charlotte,

Hang in there.

I know it hurts and I know you want your life back, but really think about planning out your days so that you are busy doing things that will make your life better with or without Jonesy
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 03:34 AM
Thanks 411,

I guess I've just been down since I checked his blog last night before bed. Well, this morning before bed.

So it just weighed on me all day. I'm really upset now though.

I just need to have a cry and get it out I guess.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 04:21 AM
It's okay to cry and it's okay to be upset.

You're an inspiration for lots of people here.

It's impossible to keep yourself upbeat through all of this you're going to have these types of days.

I hate that you are feeling this way. You don't deserve it.
No one does.

The irony is that patience is the key here but that's the hardest thing to have in Plan B because you don't know what's going on.

That's why you've got to try to detach if possible to preserve your love bank.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 05:23 AM
Hi 411,

You're right. I do. And there's no end in sight.

No inventory was done.

No word on when he's coming to get his stuff.

I could scream, I swear!

Just come get it already if you are in such a tearing [censored] hurry to get rid of me!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 05:38 AM
I called Mr. Gray and left him a message.

I asked him if he was going to come and help me with his disaster so he can be shut of me, apparently like he wants to be.

I asked him to call me on Saturday to let me know.

Stupid move, probably...but it's DONE!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 05:56 AM
None of us are cyborgs Charlotte. You're human, so it's very understandable that you're going crazy. It's impossible to shut down emotion unless you are a psychopath. There have been so many moments over the last few days I've wanted to call her, but I keep thinking what will it do? Either she'll try to see if she can get me back or she'll say here's your check see ya. I jsut need to build up my resistance so I'm strong enough to deal with any outcome.


Sure the A is over but there's still massive amounts of fog and if she has borderline Personality Disorder like I suspect then she'll never be someone I could trust until she gets help.

Charlotte don't beat yourself up over it. Just let it go and try to write down how you feel. Pop in a movie if you can.

Try to channel all your energy into getting a good night of rest and plan some fun things to do tomorrow. If you don't haev anything planned then go some where like a mall and people watch.

Start getting angry. Jonesy is being sefish he's screwing up your life. So use that anger channel into something productive. Anytime you get sad just say F you Art Vandelet. See it seems so weird but at least your getting pissed at someone you don't know:) (You don't know Art Vandelet, do you? :P)
Posted By: TiredAndHurting Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 01:01 PM
Sorry to come in late on a subject, but I just wanted to let you know you can still get to WH's blog with what you left. (I put about 4 words in quotation marks and got there) You might want to just edit the whole thing out.

TiredAndHurting
Sorry, I missed this post princess meggy.

I think Slag might have mentioned MB to him because I sent that message to OWH with the video link and saying there was help here if he needed it and to come on down.

She opened it. He got it three days later and he said that was the only email he had that had been opened.

I even hinted that he might be able to find my posts, but it wasn't a strong hint.

I think if Mr. Gray has been here and reading my posts he'd be hustling Slag down to the p.o. to get that package.
Hi SIHW!

Take me shopping, too!

I'm not sure what I'm getting DGS. There's so much cool stuff to get him!

I know it will be something besides clothing!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Losin' it - 12/08/07 07:11 PM
That's funny 411!

Art Vandelet! LOL!

I have been feeling creative lately so I decided to make a few special Christmas cards for some folks this year instead of store bought.

Actually, I it started because I wanted to make one for Mr. Gray since it might be the last one ever. And give it to him with the PBL.

And maybe a present. I was thinking about making a heart, a broken heart, out of Fimo or plaster and wrapping it up with a bottle of glue included.

I don't know if I'll do the heart, though. I will do the card, however.

And I've been writing poetry a lot more. Guess I'll have enough to publish a poetry book on infidelity soon!

Been updating my mp3 player a lot lately. I wasn't able to use it for a while because it was a bad trigger because of Mr. Gray and that STUPID iPod. Mine is a Sansa, thank goodness!

I had to go pick a couple up for my mom to send to my bro and his gal in SF last night. They only had one Sansa left so I got her a Phillips. Both 4 gigs. I'm jealous now! Mine is only 2.5!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 08:12 PM
He said he couldn't make out my VM that I left him last night.

I wrote him back. Now we'll see if he writes back.

Or calls.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 08:33 PM
You're still in Plan A so contact is ok.

Don't expect an immediate response. Assume he'll take his time. It's a power thing for them.

I'm now in Plan A so contact is ok for me too. (I just left a voicemail for her to arrange for the check pick-up.)

We'll see where she's at right now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 08:43 PM
I believe you're right, 411.

I did send him a message asking if he got the message because I used the gmail chat and I've never used it before so I'm unfamiliar with it. He is logged in in both IM's though.

So a little while later I sent him this:

LOL! You are so funny! Trying to get you to answer an email is like trying to pull an elephant's teeth with a set of tweezers.

And that's all I'm sending.

Funny, the phone rang around the time I sent him the message but only once and no ID showed up.

I think it was probably him.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 08:47 PM
Humor is always good way to do things.

It loosens people up. He did the old high school thing of dial and then hang up except he hit the last number as was terrified to talk to you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 08:53 PM
Well, I'll wait a while. And call him later. MAYBE.

Or tomorrow. MAYBE.

We'll see! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 09:04 PM
Believe me I feel the same way, but I know that more than one call comes off as needy/pushy/etc. Let them come to you. It's hard because you're worrying when and if they'll call but you jsut have to your stuff and not worry about it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 10:18 PM
Well, he wrote back.

Glad he could humor me, he said.

I said, well...of COURSE you humor me. Aren't you the "Good Humor Man?!"

Then in the next message he tells me he wants to come by near the end of the week for the stuff.

I wrote back: just let me know when. I have to see my Doberman about that lawsuit, (I told Mr. Gray about the lawsuit just today,) and I don't know what day I'll be available!

He went into gmail to check. His "light" was green.

Now he just received the latest email.

Oh boy!

I am SO nervous!

I guess I'd better wear that new turquoise blue dress I bought when I was with DIL last week at the celebration! And matching shoes! (but I've had the shoes since last year. I was waiting for a match!)

And he gets the PBL.

Oh, I am SO nervous!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 10:30 PM
Good stuff Charlotte,

You're doing well. Just remember to be cool calm and collected.

Nothing so far from my WxGF but I know that she'll won't call me back because she's pissed off/doesn't care/ thinks she hates me.

Or posibly the A has restarted. That was the only time she didn't call back right away.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 10:43 PM
Thanks 411!

I'm behaving! I'm behaving!

Sorry to hear about your latest. Maybe it's just a bad day and not related to OM?

Hope that's all it is!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/08/07 11:58 PM
No problem Charlotte,

Nah, It's impossible to tell with her. Our break up was fine it was dealing with the finacial stuff that went poorly as she basically turned into a robot. She went from telling me it was over to business issues from day 1 to day 2 I didn't feel like communicating until today Day 4. I'm guessing she's not wanting to look desperate, out, pissed at me for not communicating, the A was restarted, or million other reasons.

I could ruminate about it but I won't. After all she indicated she wanted to meet with me.

If there was a gun to my head she's probably trying to make me squirm or jsut doesn't care right now as she's still very fogged in.
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 01:23 AM
Charlotte, you might ought to delete that whole post about your WH's blog, and suamico needs to edit her post about what his hobbies mean to him, because I also found his blog.
Posted By: RIF Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 03:24 AM
Hey Charlotte - Hope you're having a good evening... just wanted to check in and let you know that I'll be here all day on the Night-Shift if you can't sleep...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 03:31 AM
Hi Lady Clueless,

Thank you. I rewrote the whole thing. In my translation.

I guess I can't do anything about suamico's post unless Justuss wants to delete it or I ask.

I appreciate you letting me know!
Posted By: believer Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 03:32 AM
Hey RIF - you are getting pretty short aren't you?

One of my collegues at work is arriving in Kabul the first week of January. She is a real smart engineer, and will do a fine job there.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 03:34 AM
Hi RIF!

Good to see ya'!

I talked, actually talked to Mr. Gray earlier. When I was driving out to go meet up with DIL for the hayride I called him and said....why don't we talk in REAL time instead of 2 dimensional?

To my surprise he called when I was knocking on DS & DIL's door.

We talked until the signal went out. Then I sent him a text that I'd call him later.

Then I talked to him when we were on the way to the hayride. I told him he needed to read my last email. He said he would and then he'd call back.

Still waiting here!

But I ain't callin' him!
Posted By: RIF Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 03:43 AM
Hey Charlotte,

Hopefully he calls back... when/if he does, be nice and sweet! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 04:59 AM
Hey RIF!

Ain't I always? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 05:53 AM
Yes you are... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You're doing a great job... I didn't handle Mrs. RIF's "first" A nearly as well as you're doing!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 04:58 PM
Sounds like the waiting game is on :P.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 05:32 PM
Thanks RIF!

I don't know how I'm able to do it but I am. And I'm still able to talk to him normally even though I'm so nervous I could rattle my bones to dust from the quaking and shaking!

I guess Spock must have been back. I will REALLY need him next Saturday!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 05:38 PM
Hi 411,

I didn't mean to keep the suspense going. I'm not Alfred Hitchcock!

Anyway, he didn't call. I told DIL he probably sent an email instead. Returned home after the hayride. Yep.

His reply was: so you don't hate me and you don't want any of the stuff...why not just say, "he can have it?"

I didn't bother to dignify that with a response.

He hung around in gmail for a while, waiting for me to answer, I imagine. I messed around online a while and then went to bed.

I woke up at one point and checked and he was logged out of both gmail and yahoo.

This a.m. he's back in gmail again. I checked messages and then logged out.

So, in a way, you're right. But it's HIM waiting now!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 05:41 PM
Good you've flipped on him. It's a power struggle to be sure.

I'm waiting on her because she's the one who wanted "to meet up with me"

Granted she's only 4 days out (assuming things haven't restarted) so I expect all sorts of garbage from her.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 05:55 PM
Yeah, it's a lotta fun, ain't it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Waiting for common sense to kick their butts back into reality!

I know...common sense? What's that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 06:04 PM
Common sense for a wayward, ha!

At least I'm reading a few books.

HNHN and After the Affair, plus I hate you don't leave me
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/09/07 06:11 PM
Quote
Common sense for a wayward, ha!


Yep! LOLOLOL at that one!

I have After the Affair. Strangely, I found it amongst Mr. Gray's radios when I was trying to clean in there one night. I don't know how he got ahold of it. I hid all of my books really well, or so I thought!

My IC still has my SAA book.

I don't have HNHN...I need to get that one soon.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 01:20 AM
Yeah that is weird how did he get ahold of that book, I wonder. ....

I've read parts in all three. All three are very informative. Granted most people don't need I hate you don't leave me, but in my case I need to be prepped I suppose.

Cold wintery Sundays stink <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> I think everyone hates this time of year when they're down, because of the Holidays and the fact that this time is usually spent snuggling.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 01:51 AM
*cough* Mind sending the blog url my way? It wouldn't be the first WS's online stuff I'd have had the 'pleasure' of reading.... even watched a friend from MB's xWH's OW have a meltdown...that was...interesting.

mojodiva99 @ yahoo . com
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:04 AM
Hi 411!

Yeah, I don't think too much about the snuggling thing. Of course, I don't think we've done much of that around the holidays...not since our first Christmas, anyway!
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:08 AM
Charlotte, I think its great that even though you are stil in Plan A that you are choosing noot to engage Mr. Grey online. He knows you are there just as much as you are aware of him. And you are right, he needs to make the moves, not you.

However, when you go to Plan B... do you have a way to keep him from seeing you online?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:08 AM
Well,

Talked a while with Mr. Gray. He was hemming and hawing but I was the bulldozer...pushing the dirt out of the way to get to the real treasure.

He wants to talk, this much is clear.

But he's a chicken liver.

That's okay.

I'm not.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:10 AM
Hi mojo!

I'm not sure if I can prevent it in gmail but I can in yahoo.

The "invisible" option isn't available in gmail like yahoo...at least not that I could find. And if it is...he ain't usin' it!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:11 AM
And nary a peep about the radios this time!
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:15 AM
Quote
Hi mojo!

I'm not sure if I can prevent it in gmail but I can in yahoo.

The "invisible" option isn't available in gmail like yahoo...at least not that I could find. And if it is...he ain't usin' it!

If you can't make yourself invisible to Mr. Grey on gmail, I honestly think you should not use it once you start the Plan B. Ws's should be left completely in the dark about everything you do, including when you are online. Makes them wonder!
Posted By: User123 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:16 AM
Charlotte,

Good luck. I think you have done a great job. I was following your lead, but you seem to be doing a much better job. Keep up the good work.

Ryan.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:35 AM
Hi mojo!

Dang! But I like my new email name!

I guess I could see if it's available elsewhere!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:37 AM
Thanks Ryan!

I told my DIL...I don't know where I got my b*lls! But they are working!!

For now!!!!

(crossing fingers here!)
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:37 AM
I'm in the same spot .... ball is in the waywards court. So we'll see what's going on soon enough.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:39 AM
I hear that, 411!!!

I'm up right now.

I don't want to see down...but I know the roller coaster doesn't discriminate!!
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:55 AM
Two of my FWH's OWs (sisters-- he was having an EA with both[grrrr]) were into the same hobby your WH is... I've always fantasized about harrassing them through the airwaves.
Posted By: RIF Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 02:56 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I'll be around all day so if you can't sleep, I'll be here on the night-shift!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:05 AM
Wow! That is WILD Mojo!

An EA with both?! Geez, Boogie Nights part II!!!!

Just kiddin'!!

I was thinking about that movie today.

Sad, sad, sad.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:06 AM
Hi RIF!!

Thank you!!

I have no idea how long I'll be wired after talking to Jonesy/Mr. Gray!!

Could be a while!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine BTW, RIF.... - 12/10/07 03:09 AM
My DIL says "Hi!" and "Way to go!"
Posted By: RIF Re: BTW, RIF.... - 12/10/07 08:33 AM
Hey Charlotte,

My Texas Watch says that it's 0233 in the morning... just checking in to see if you're still awake!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 08:40 AM
I'm hoping you are sleeping now. I'm heaeded to bed myself. I play a lot of EverQuest2 once my littlest is in bed. Helps pass the time with FWH gone in Cuba.

Yeah, I think hubby was introduced to one sister via a coworker (who thought we were seperated) and it was kept on phone and email, and when she went back to her boyfriend, she introduced her little sister to hubby (over phone and email). With my FWH, though, his affairs were completely about HIM-- he cared very little about the females but a lot about how he felt being pursued. He had no withdrawal at all with any of them.

Thank God he grew up. He's not the same man. The old one makes me want to puke.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:16 PM
mojo,

I used to play EQ2 but I've learned that online gaming was a problem for me. It was an escape from not dealing with my issues. I also played a few others and spent way too much time doing that.

Charlotte,

Keep up the good work. I know it's hard as I've heard nothing from my wxGF, and she was the one who wanted to meet me. Believe I've thought about so many different reasons why she didn't call. That's the tough part mind you is having too much time to think about the why or why nots or possible scenarios when it doesn't matter and you make yourself miserable hashing things out.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: BTW, RIF.... - 12/10/07 03:35 PM
Hi RIF!

Thanks for checking in. I did wake up for a while in the a.m. and read on the boards a bit but didn't post.

Kept thinking about the conversation with Mr. Gray and well...other things.

I don't know when I finally fell asleep again. I think it was around 5! Eeeeek!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:42 PM
Wow, that conjures up thoughts of scary!

I guess I can say that...well, at least he wasn't emotionally attached, not that that makes it any easier for a BS to deal with but I'm sure it helped after the A(s).

I don't know how much longer it's going to be for Mr. Gray...I know nothing can be predicted or guaranteed.

I'm glad we are talking now, though. But Plan B is soon. This is bad. I was so ready and now I'm having second thoughts about it.

I need to do it, though. I WILL do it.

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!

There. I feel better now.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:46 PM
Sounds good Charlotte,

make sure you are really busy when Plan B goes into effect because days where things are slow give you too much time to think and that's where all the negative thoughts and desire to call come into play.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 03:50 PM
Hi 411,

Oh yes...the hashing things out! And it seems your brain just won't quit! Round and round and round. Can't turn off the "think switch."

I was hoping things had gone better for you with your wGF. I hope you hear from her soon.

As for Mr. Gray, I was in circles during the night about him. I kept thinking about what happened towards the end of our conversation. I didn't really catch the full significance of it at first.

I had him. I had his FULL attention. Now I KNOW he's thinking about what was said.

We talked about other things like DS25...DIL and DGS and other family members, etc.

But near the end, WHOA! How did I almost miss that!

Also, he claims he wants to talk about us. We'll see, I guess. He's probably going to be lollygagging around waiting for me to call, like I'm gonna.

But since I had his FULL attention, well, one never knows!

At any rate he'll be here Saturday and if we don't talk during the week then fine.

I won't be upset OR bored. Got me own plans, Mate!

Yippee-ki-yay!!!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 04:57 PM
Quote
Quote
Hi mojo!

I'm not sure if I can prevent it in gmail but I can in yahoo.

The "invisible" option isn't available in gmail like yahoo...at least not that I could find. And if it is...he ain't usin' it!

If you can't make yourself invisible to Mr. Grey on gmail, I honestly think you should not use it once you start the Plan B. Ws's should be left completely in the dark about everything you do, including when you are online. Makes them wonder!

Just set it to busy charlette.....he can't contact you then...I know my ex husband was trying to message me on gmail last week and couldn't because I set it to busy.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 05:00 PM
Oh GOOD!!!

Thanks SIHW!!!!

I'm in IM with DIL and DD...Mr. Gray just logged in a few minutes ago.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 05:11 PM
Thanks Charlotte,

Everything seems like a paradox. She wanted to meet in person and now that I've called .... nothing. I hope it's just post A fog and not a sign that the A has restarted. In the past she always returned my calls same day or talekd to me when I got home.

Perhaps she thoguht she'd get closure but wehn I acted as if I just wanted to get the check and be done she pulled back in fear.

More mind games which can drive someone to a psych ward .... (hrmm sounds familiar)

Be careful to get your hopes up with the us talk Charlotte ... waywards are very cruel like that. They prey on the hope of the betrayed only to throw them under the bus, hence why Plan B is there. To prevent contact where you feel hopeful and then are crushed when you discover they don't seem to give a damn.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 06:04 PM
Quote
Perhaps she thoguht she'd get closure but wehn I acted as if I just wanted to get the check and be done she pulled back in fear.


Could be!!!!!!

Quote
Be careful to get your hopes up with the us talk Charlotte ... waywards are very cruel like that. They prey on the hope of the betrayed only to throw them under the bus, hence why Plan B is there. To prevent contact where you feel hopeful and then are crushed when you discover they don't seem to give a damn.


Oh, I'll be watching him like a hawk!!! And I'll have my best, shiniest armour on!!!

I don't know if I'll talk to him before Saturday. I already told him I didn't want my Doberman here or anyone from his office. That I just wanted it to be us.

Because they offered to be here if necessary.

So I just want to make it clear to him that they will be on call...not sure how to bring it up. Because I don't want it to sound like a threat. It's not.

But if things get out of hand and he starts bullying me or bothering me about that other stuff he wants so bad I will be forced to call.

So I don't know!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 06:23 PM
Everyone here just wants to make sure that you're protected. Expect for the worst, plan for it, and hope for the best.

Nothing worse than expecting a dream turn around and then having it go the exact opposite way.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 06:39 PM
You're right!

And thank you, 411.

I think I have the answer...

I'll just tell him that my Doberman asked me to call and let them know when Mr. Gray was coming over so I did.

There. I am absolved of having anything to do with it.

It will look like my Doberman's fault. Which it is, really.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 07:39 PM
Good for you Charlotte,

It's ok to use your Doberman to assist you in dealing with legal issues.

Time to protect the remainder of your love bank otherwise it will be hitting red very very soon.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 08:24 PM
You're right, 411...

And I will if necessary. I just hope it's not necessary.

The bank is getting so much towards the red that it ain't funny!

I gotta do something or that's it!

Last night helped though. Even though I know I can't trust him as far as an ant could throw him...

There were glimpses of Jonesy.....
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 08:51 PM
Me too I'm closing in on red.

The good thing is that you've been versed in wayward speak so you can understand that 99% is garbage. Pre-MB it would have been much more devastating because it's very hard not to take things personally until you udnerstand there's faulty thinking going on.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 08:58 PM
Quote
Me too I'm closing in on red.


Red alert! Red alert! Shields up!

Quote
The good thing is that you've been versed in wayward speak so you can understand that 99% is garbage. Pre-MB it would have been much more devastating because it's very hard not to take things personally until you udnerstand there's faulty thinking going on.


You're right. It's gotten a lot easier with time, too. I don't imagine that it will ever be a piece of cake...but if I can keep this ONE THING front and center in my head....then he can't touch me with his words and deeds.
Posted By: fasttrack Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 09:12 PM
Hey Charllote22,

Just wanted to let you know I have been follwoing your thread and really think you are doing great.

You have helped me tremendously!

Take care,
FT
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 09:14 PM
Funny thing is the A is over (well unless it was restarted) and we haven't talked since Nov 5 and that wasn't a real discussion. It was getting me off the phone bill.

So outside of those two e-mail from last week nothing is going on.

Frustrating, eh?

It helps to know a lot more about human behavior and wayward behavior.

In this case I don't know what the hold-up is about. It could be a lot of things including her just stonewalling me.

That's atypical of her however but she seems thus far to be willing to part with the money and she brought it up not me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 09:30 PM
Hi FT!!

Thank you, that's so sweet!!!

It's your kind of encouragement that keeps me going!!! Not only the vets with all of their great advice and guidance, but people like me who are here struggling yet take the time to pop in with such great posts!!!

THANK YOU!!!

And I'm so glad that I was able to help you by whatever I did. I'll keep doing it!

Another Texan, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

YAY!!

But I love everyone else here, too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 09:39 PM
Frustrating!!!

And the time seems to pass SO slow at times!

I always try to plant little seeds here and there when I can. It helps to feel like you're at least DOING something!

Won't be the case in B, though!

It's gonna be hard! As ready as I am, I KNOW I'm going to cry. And cry and cry.

I was talking to DIL and she had to change DGS so I got up to do a few things...packing more stuff away, laundry, etc.

I started to get SO nervous. My legs got weak.

And I have to wait until Saturday!!! What was I thinking!

I wanted to call my Doberman with the latest update. Haven't done so yet.

I know they are busy over there. Those people don't sleep, I swear!

They are ALWAYS there.

They are doing some remodeling there. They should have put in a sleep room!

Catch a catnap once in a while.

Dedication. Wish Mr. Gray remembered that word.

My Doberman commented to me about how loyal I am one day. I started to tear up. "Fat lotta good it did me!" I told him.

Geez, Mr. Gray...

You really threw a monkey wrench the size of the Titanic into our lives.

But I ain't gonna sink!!!!

And I'm taking you with me on that lifeboat!!! If you jump back in, what can I say?

Well, I'm takin' Jonesy into the lifeboat. YOU CAN sink, Mr. Gray!!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 09:51 PM
So darn painful.

Time moves so slowly when you're waiting.

Yep you will cry but that's healthy. You need to get rid of all the bad feelings and get yourself back on track.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 11:17 PM
You're right, 411!

I'll just make sure to have plenty of tissues on hand!!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 11:29 PM
Well she called and that was the worst conversation ever.

She got pissed at me for saying she hurt me. I tried not to LB, but she said I should move on.

We're going to meet at 1 on Saturday unless I decide to have her just send the check. She wanted us to meet in the middle of our two locations.

That pretty much screwed me up pretty damn bad.

She got mad that invovled my parents in dealing with her.

She accused me of controlling her. She said I needed to find the right person for me and she needed to do the same.

Not much I can do at this point.

Was hoping we'd be a success story but it's not <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/10/07 11:56 PM
Oh no! 411, that's terrible!!!!

I feel so bad.

Listen, if you want to talk somewhere besides here...send a message to my email at .

It's a yahoo email.

That's just awful.

Anyway, really if you want to talk let me know. I am all around the pc right now...still talking to DIL and my sister.

Mr. Gray is still logged in. I had thoughts about calling him, just to see how quickly he calls me back...

Which has been right away of late...

But I don't read too much into that.

But still, he calls back immediately

So how can I not look at that with a little hope?

He wants to talk but he's chicken

But I don't know why

But now he knows information he wasn't privy to before

And it got his attention.

So I don't know.

This sucks.

And it sucks for you too...

I'm SO sorry this happened to you!!!!!


(((((((((411)))))))))))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray sent me an email - 12/11/07 12:16 AM
But if your aren't comfortable with that, I understand.

I just want to help.

If possible!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, not a peep tonight - 12/11/07 02:58 AM
Nothing from Mr. Gray tonight. As expected.

DIL wanted me to call him. I thought about it. Then I ate and started feeling ill and shaky.

So, NOT a good idea to call. If any weakness is present...he'd sense it in a heartbeat.

I do need to tell him something but it can wait until tomorrow.

Countdown is on for the PBL...not much longer will I be able to talk to him.

And he doesn't even know it yet.

sigh
Posted By: The_411 Re: Well, not a peep tonight - 12/11/07 03:25 AM
Charlotte e-mail forthcoming.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 03:47 AM
Can you forward your email to my gmail account?

I can't get it to open in yahoo.

Now yahoo has crippled my processor. I'm going to have to reboot after this post.

my gmail is:
Posted By: The_411 Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 03:57 AM
Done!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 03:59 AM
Thank you!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 10:21 PM
Charlotte... how goes it?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 10:33 PM
Hi princess meggy!!

It's quiet. Mr. Gray is online. I'm going to call him later to find out when he'll be here Saturday. I've been talking to DD. I am going to tell him that, too. And tell him I hope they can have a relationship someday.

He sure is missing out!

I sent my Doberman a thank you card for taking care of that lawsuit.

I've been trying to finish packing up mementos here so they'll be out of sight when Mr. Gray comes over.

If he shows up. He'll probably be stoned, too. He can't handle anything without that these days. I hope he's not, though.

Thanks for asking!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 10:41 PM
Check with your Plan A guru first, but are you planning on being in Goddess wear on Saturday? Maybe have great smells wafting from the kitchen. If you don't feel like that, just put a little drop of vanilla on your burner and it'll smell like you've been baking all day (don't forget to turn the burner on <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />). Have Christmas carols playing in the background? Making your home warm, cozy and inviting? You're still in Plan A right?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 10:57 PM
Hi princess meggy!!

I'm trying to decide what to have simmering on the stove. Something Jonesy loves for sure!

I have a new turquoise blue gauze dress that I got with DIL at the park celebration a couple of weeks ago.

I'm thinking about that one. It's really cute, with the way the skirt is cut. And it's LOW CUT, too!

Or, I can wear my...."so close to the butt that there's just that tempting curve barely peeking out" skirt!!!

But I don't know if I'll wear that!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I don't know if BIL is coming with him or if he thinks DS25 is going to help him. So I might have to be a little more demure!

He'll be getting the PBL when he leaves.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Hey 411!!!!! - 12/11/07 11:12 PM
c22, i saw on a science programs that men get aroused when they smell pumpkin pie. (Women become aroused at the smell of a cucumber. Funny, when I was a pre-schooler I could eat tons of them even when I wasn't really hungry.)

Pick up a Sarah Lee and bake it. Torture him!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/11/07 11:19 PM
Hi Bellevue!!!

I'll make pumpkin/cream cheese pie. He LOVES it. With homemade crust, of course!

I sent him a <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> in IM a little while ago.

He answered!

I am SO nervous!

He is actually talking to me in IM. I thought that was taboo for him because of Slag.

EEEEEEEEEEKKKK!!!!!

I'm so nervous!!
Adding:

I LOVE cukes! We always had fresh ones from the garden when I was growing up. And now, sometimes.

I will forever see them in a different light and be afraid to eat them!!!

Thanks, Bellevue! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Welllllll.....I had him going there for a while! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/12/07 01:27 AM
Quote
He answered!


Evening Charlotte! Well, just be your sweet, normal, Plan-A godddess self and show him what he's going to be missing if/when you go to Plan-B!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I think this is great... it tells me that he's missing you...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Hi RIF!!!!

Me TOO!!! I can't believe it! I am so EXCITED!! I know I shouldn't get TOO excited but I gotta enjoy this for awhile!!!!

WOW!!! Just....WOW!!!!!

I'm gonna have good dreams tonight!!

We'll see if I get to talk to him later. He told me he crashes early. LOL!! (I'd asked him if he'd ever gotten a chance to see the comet.)

Why IS that? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I know, I know.....but I can hope!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/12/07 02:45 AM
Happy to hear this Charlotte is sounds like great news. Just remember to stay cool calm and collected. He's developing chinks in the armor but you need to get a complete breakthrough.
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/12/07 03:17 AM
Quote
I know, I know.....but I can hope!!


Hey Charlotte!

Never lose hope... there's always hope! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Yay charlotte! So glad you got to IM with Jonesy!
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/12/07 06:17 AM
Hey Charlotte - Just checking in with you to see how your IM session went this evening...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Hi RIF!!

Well, I had him on his toes!! I was talking to DIL at the same time and when he answered or I asked him something or whatever...I'd jump over and tell her...

Awwww, he's not gonna respond!!!

He tried to get a little belligerent, just a little...but I didn't let that bother me.

The end came when I asked him if he was busy later. He asked me why. I repeated his question back to him.

Then I told him...maybe I would like to hear your voice, what about that?

He didn't say much after that. He said he had to go install a pc, and had to sign out. So I said goodbye.

I really wasn't expecting to get to talk to him at all. I didn't expect the wink to get a reaction out of him, that's for sure!!!

And the IM back and forth was REALLY a surprise, too. I thought it would be taboo...since it was THEIR thing... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Like IM with me would be cheating on her, or something.

Anyway, I got him a little while later. I sent him a text that said, "AHA! Caught ya'!!! Aaaahhhh, technology!"

He didn't respond but I wasn't expecting him to. He never called either but I wasn't really surprised. Get my goat!!! That's the ticket!!

Not this goat!! This goat stays in the pen!!!!!

DIL kept my spirits up pretty good. I was ROTFLMAO a LOT!!

And she HATES Slag SO much! There's no way in heck that she would EVER let Slag near DGS!!!

Gotta love it!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
I'm really not going to like going into B now that he's communicating with me.

But I must do it.

He'll probably p*ss me off before Saturday anyway. I don't know.

I want to see the letter in his hand so if I didn't give it to him I'd have to drive over there and deliver it. I wouldn't want to send it in the mail.

So, I don't know.

I have a headache and might try to sleep soon. Gotta help Mom take G'ma to the dentist in the a.m.!!!!
Thanks maggie!!!!

Me too!!! I'm still in shock!!!!
Chinks in the armor! Yay! Chinks in the armor!!!

(Charlotte dances around living room with glee!)
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/12/07 09:55 AM
Quote
Like IM with me would be cheating on her, or something.


Hey Charlotte! I hope you're getting some sleep... my Texas Watch says that it's 0354 in the morning...

Rest assured that he's thinking about you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> That's why its so important for you to be in control and up-beat when you talk/IM/e-mail with him... leave a good lasting impression before you go to Plan-B!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/13/07 04:46 AM
Hey Charlotte - Just checking in with you before I fly out later this morning... Hope you're doing well...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Hi RIF!!

Thanks for checking in.

I had a bad dip in the coaster earlier. I was doing pretty good and then I went to the grocery store.

It started there. Mr. Gray was still in IM at that point. I checked on my phone before I left the store. He had hung around for a while in gmail earlier, too.

Well, by the time I got home and logged in on the pc, he had logged out. But that's not what bothered me.

I was at my g'ma's today, we had to take her to the dentist and it was my day today anyway so I was away from home for a while.

When I walked in I could tell how different the scent is here. The essence of Jonesy has really started to disappear. There was no Jonesy essence at all.

He's been gone too long and his pheremones have evaporated and they're just gone!

So that made me feel worse.

DIL has been cheering me up in IM, though. She's watching some movies I brought over and we're talking about them in IM as she watches.

It's kinda fun to watch a movie that way! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I've also been reading all of the great info that's been brought out today on recoveries and Plan B.

I feel even more strongly now about it. I was having some niggling doubts but not anymore.

I'll still be a wreck though, I'm sure after I give him the letter and watch him drive away. From a place he can't see me watching from of course!!
You're flying out already?
Posted By: RIF Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/13/07 10:23 AM
Hey Charlotte - the flight from my FOB to my HQ was cancelled so I'll have to try again tomorrow...

My Texas watch says that it's 0423 so I hope you're getting some good sleep!

Sorry about your down day today... it WILL get better!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: weaver Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/13/07 02:01 PM
Quote
I'll still be a wreck though, I'm sure after I give him the letter and watch him drive away. From a place he can't see me watching from of course!!


You won't be alone though, Charlotte. We'll all be right there with you.

Because it will end all the drama you've been in, you will feel a loss, an emptiness, but it doesn't last, and life gets much, much better from there on out. It really does.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Pumpkin pumpkin pumpkin pie, Baby!! - 12/13/07 04:50 PM
Hey all (((char)))....you know I am so proud of ya for holdin up like you have been. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> sorry I haven't been around much DS picked up the virus/cold thingy the rest of the family has had so we have been at home.
But he's excited about X-mas I managed to get some shopping done for him......got his fosters stuff with bloo and cheese. did you shop for DGS yet?
Hi SIHW!!

Good to see ya'!!

Hope DS is doing better. No fun being sick!! I've been lucky enough over the last few years to avoid getting the flu or much of a cold but I had a host of other problems with the thyroid instead!!!

I haven't decided what to get DGS yet. The possibilities are endless!

I think I'll get him a live-in babysitter for DIL, he's been keeping her really busy lately.

There. That's two presents in one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Thank you, JJ!!

You're DY-NO-MITE!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Knowing that you and others are with me in spirit really helps me. It helped me through the hearing, too!!

That was REALLY tough...in spite of the distraction!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

You don't mind if I call you JJ do ya'? I loved JJ Evans...that was one of my favorite shows growing up. And Florida's cooking ALWAYS made me hungry!!!

But then, I'm always thinking with my stomach...unless it betrays me and gets nervous!! Like on Saturday!! I know it will. I'm still going to have something good going in the kitchen, though.
Hi RIF!!

Thank you! I did actually get some rest. Had a dream about Jonesy.

Not a bad dream either, but I don't remember what was happening in it.

I woke up too early and went back to sleep. When I woke up again, he had sent an email

He said he'd eaten pizza and zonked out the other night. Tuesday. Then he let me know the time on Saturday. He said he's taking the tv but not the stand and will move the one in the radio room out here for me and put it on the stand.

And wow, he signed his name!

I haven't replied yet. I'm still thinking about a reply.

Hmmmmmm....AAAHHHH!! What's burning? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine WOW! - 12/13/07 05:41 PM
He IM'd me while I was in the other room!

Just to let me know about the email, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, I made a big mistake... - 12/13/07 09:01 PM
I was working on all of the "stuff" that couldn't be inventoried because of the disastrous way it is arranged. So I found one of our photo albums in there. I looked.

Fool that I am.

Pictures of us with the kids and my sis riding horses and horsing around.

Pics from our trip to N'Awlins running around in the French Quarter taking pics and going to the aquarium. Some with cute little captions from Jonesy.

Pics of our favorite Italian restaurant in Kenner, LA.

There were even some from our very first photo shoot.

Despair. I decided to take a break for a while.

Dammit, Jonesy!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: weaver Re: Well, I made a big mistake... - 12/13/07 09:54 PM
Just hang in there Charlotte. I don't really know what else to say and I don't see any point in speculating about what it means.

The trip down memory lane with the photo's would be very upsetting.

I used to spend a lot of my time cooking and listening to Bocelli (and heavy metal, and rock, etc). Complicated, elaborated chit and it was like therapy for me. I also drank my share of wine while doing it, although I don't recomment THAT to anyone else, as it was tough to break that habit (and my husband doesn't like any drinking at home for the most part).

Just hang on. Try and find things you love that can be your therapy and what ever source of inspiration you can glean from them.

I wished I could have watched TV, as I think that may have helped me, but I just couldn't for some reason.

Oh and plants. I got all sorts of plants and cool pots, and spent a lot of time with them, potting repotting hanging...made quite the retreat for myself. Sounds stupid, I know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: weaver Re: Well, I made a big mistake... - 12/13/07 09:55 PM
Oh, and I worked out all the time and concentrated on my looks...to an embarassing degree. What can I say. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, I made a big mistake... - 12/13/07 10:13 PM
Hi Josie,

You're right. I don't know why I kept looking. I looked to begin with to see how many of the horse photos there were. I've been talking to DD a LOT lately and I just know she'll want copies. She was just a tiny thing then! She's so pretty and strong and smart and grown-up now! But she asked me for advice the other day! How cool!!!

I didn't even remember that all of the other photos were in there. Well, I don't like to torture myself, really!!

I've been listening to music a LOT lately and singing a lot, too. I just have to avoid what Mr. Gray was listening to with Slag.

I could hear it sometimes. With that stupid, childish, "Okay, I punched the button so the song will sync up together so we can listen!" Puh-lease! As if they were going to sync up!

As for plants? Hey-ho, let's go!! I never get enough of gardening so I do a lot inside during the winter. I guess I'll end up having a whole new crop of African Violets! I like to propagate them with the clone method. Takes a while for them to flower but it's fun!!

As for TV, I haven't been watching much. L&O Criminal Intent for sure. Gotta be careful about movies, though!

Except when 24 starts.....me and Mom are SO there!!!

Wine, eh? Gives me a headache. Vodka has been more my speed. This from a near-teetotaler! I've managed to stay away from it more often, though. I just don't have the desire for it much now. That's a good thing.

I'm sure I'll need a couple of shots before Mr. Gray gets here, though! Just to level me out! If it works! It might not if I'm too keyed up.

*gurgle gurgle* *Whassa matta Ossifa? No, o'coss not! I dron't dink!!*
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Melody Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 12/13/07 11:24 PM
May be a monkey wrench being thrown into B already and it hasn't even begun!!!!!!!!!!

HHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Melody Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 12/13/07 11:43 PM
call me at home, please!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Melody Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 12/14/07 12:17 AM
Thanks, Melody!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, the latest update..... - 12/14/07 01:24 AM
I had to call my Doberman because I was supposed to let him know when Mr. Gray would be here. I got an actual time of day out of Mr. Gray so I called my Doberman.

Well, now HE'S worried about the stupid radios! I swear, it's getting so that if I ever see another radio in my life it'll be too soon!

Funny thing is....I had been working on the dang things all day!!

What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?

Some suggestions were made: Bonfire!

Nah.

Okay so now I have to sleep on it and see if I have any solutions. Well, I do, but they could affect Plan B, possibly. I talked to Mel about a solution that won't affect B, so I'll run it by my Doberman tomorrow.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Okay, the latest update..... - 12/14/07 03:28 AM
Hang in there, Charlotte

This is the rough part. There's going to be lots of weird vibes in the next few days. It's going to be hard to figure what's what but jsut stay focused on your Plan A until you transfer into B.

Try to keep yourself calm even when you feel frantic.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, the latest update..... - 12/14/07 04:13 AM
Quote
Hang in there, Charlotte

This is the rough part. There's going to be lots of weird vibes in the next few days. It's going to be hard to figure what's what but jsut stay focused on your Plan A until you transfer into B.

Try to keep yourself calm even when you feel frantic.


Hi 411!!!!

Thank you!!

I'm sure trying!!!

Funny you should mention weird vibes. This a.m. I was talking to DD im IM and we had some psychic connection going on. We had so many of the same thoughts at the same time it was eerie! And way cool!!

And then I was really busting my tail today working on Mr. Gray's disaster only to find out how much fretting was going on over at my Doberman's about that stuff.

Mr. Gray/Jonesy and I had a great conversation going in IM. He even slipped in a joke. It's been forever since he's kidded around with me like that. We used to do that a lot. It was a lot of fun.

Sometimes I could just scream. I do that a lot in IM. Not with him, though. It looks funny, so there's always a lot of LMAO and that works to get the frustration out. Plus DIL and DD get a good laugh, too.

Yeah, I'm gonna be a nervous wreck!!! But he won't know it. I'm gonna push it all down into that tiny box and sit on the lid so I can lock down all of the fear.

Well, back to the trenches!!

I hope your doing okay!! Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: mopey Re: Okay, the latest update..... - 12/14/07 05:10 AM
I have faith that you will do great and be your normal goddess self.

I can tell that Jonesy is on his way back, slowly but surely. If not, which is highly doubtful, then he's a fool.

Make him squirm with your goddessness. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: The_411 Re: Okay, the latest update..... - 12/14/07 05:12 AM
Don't give up!

It sounds like you're doing your best to hold things together. You'll be tested a lot in the next few days, weeks, months etc regardless of the outcome. Just stick to your plan.

I'm doing better now that I've chosen to have her mail the check. NC starts tomorrow.

higher powers only know if it's NC for this lifetime.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Whatever - 12/14/07 10:30 PM
Now Mr. Gray has posted new updates in his stupid blog. Buncha trash talkin' crap.

Whatever.

I'm trying not to let it get to me but it still p*sses me off somewhat.

I have a headache.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 12:17 AM
I was SO upset earlier. I know I shouldn't have been. I know that's what he wants. I know he thinks I'm looking. But I haven't been. Just the other day when I looked...and today.

Well, I just had a feeling about it, is all. So I looked.

He IM'ed me again today. On his own. Surprise again.

Anyway, I'm a little better but my heart is still beating really fast.

I sure hope I can hold it together tomorrow.
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 12:51 AM
Charlotte, he's just trying to guilt you into giving him his stuff.

Part of the WS script, that's all!

You'll do fine tomorrow. Wow his wayward butt with a dazzling finale to your Plan A, and then hand him your Plan B letter as he heads out the door. Try not to slam the door on his butt, OK?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 01:36 AM
Quote
Try not to slam the door on his butt, OK?


LOL!!

Thanks Lady Clueless!!

I am starting to get REALLY, REALLY nervous now!!
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 02:08 AM
Quote
I am starting to get REALLY, REALLY nervous now!!


Understandable. Maybe you can do something to take your mind off tommorow. Like a movie or something. Hot baths usually relax me.

When you start getting butterflies tommorow, just try to picture all of us here sitting in the bleachers and cheering you on. I'll be the loud obnoxous one with the blow horn.

Just don't go into it expecting anything, and then you won't get dissapointed. That's what my H always tells me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

You'll be fine. I have faith in you. I know you're scared and you'll be courageous and work through it. One day, he'll look back and see what a hero you were. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 02:20 AM
Charlotte

The Killer B's are here for you. Welcome to Club Dark!!

BZZZZZZ.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Smartie
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 02:56 AM
Hey Charlotte!

You'll do fine tomorrow... just relax. This is all part of the process... hold your head up high and KNOW that you're doing a great job. Tomorrow isn't a "make it or break it" event... You're in this for the long-haul and it's still early...

Use this opportunity as a last "Plan-A" event... then go very dark.

I'll be in and out on the night-shift, so if you can't sleep, I'll be here!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 03:12 AM
Charlotte, I will be around tomorrow if you want to call and talk before he comes. You will do great!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 03:27 AM
Hi Melody!!!

Thanks!!!!

You KNOW I'll be buggin' ya'!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 03:28 AM
Thanks RIF!!!

I'll do my best!!!

And yes, I probably won't sleep much tonight, if at all!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 03:39 AM
LOL smartie!!!

Thank you!!

I'll be thinking about all of ya'll when I'm hoppin' around like a Mexican jumping bean before he gets here!

Then I'll be a B...Break out the vintage SNL!!!

"I'm a Kang Bee...buzzin' 'round yo' hive...

I'm a Kang Bee, Baby, buzzin' 'round yo' hive....

And we can make honey, Baby, if you let me come inside!

Buzz, buzz

Buzz, buzz

Buzz, buzz

Buzz, buzz

I'm a Kang Bee, Baby, want ya' to be my queen...

I'm a Kang Bee, Baby, want ya' to be my queen....

And we can make honey, Baby, like the world has never seen!"

(cue Belushi acrobatic clip!)

Best part is the end of course.

"When yo' man is....
When yo' ma'yan is....
Whenyo'manis....
blahblahblahflouragagblourababa..."

Yeah, I know, it's a bad one for MB, but it's so funny I just don't associate it with bad things!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 04:29 AM
Thanks mopey!!

Thanks for having faith in me. You and others here are really keeping me going.

I'll keep the image of those bleachers in my head!!

What will the pennants say? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 05:20 AM
(((Charlotte)))
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 05:20 AM
Hey Charlotte!

My Texas Watch says that it's 2330! Just checking in with you to see if you're still awake...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 05:55 AM
Thanks Big K!!

I needed that!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 05:56 AM
Hi RIF!!

You bet! I'm still up cleaning and polishing and spacklin' and sparklin'!!

Not a bit tired yet, though my back does have a kink in it.

(Stupid radios! LOL)
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 06:50 AM
Quote
What will the pennants say?


Well, the pennants will just say "Marriage Builders". But, me and Rif, 411, Melody, Ace and all the others will be holding a HUGE banner that says "GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!!!!". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Not very creative I know, but it's all I gots right now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Seriously though, I DO hope you visualize us doing that cuz if we were all there in your home with you tomorrow, that's what we'd be doing. And boy we'd be obnoxious. We'd be ready for a smack down if Mr. Gray got out of line, fo sho. We'd be quiet while we watched the game and just after you do something goddessy, we'd start hooting and hollering. Blow horn and all. Of course, Mel would probably be picking her nose at the same time, but oh well, it's my fantasy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 06:50 AM
Hey Charlotte! Have fun cleaning!

Mrs. RIF is cleaning like a mad woman and baking all sorts of goodies for me... I told her that I don't care what the house looks like... I'll just be glad to see her and the girls! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 06:54 AM
Quote
Mrs. RIF is cleaning like a mad woman and baking all sorts of goodies for me... I told her that I don't care what the house looks like... I'll just be glad to see her and the girls!


Oh, what a happy thought. I'm so happy for you Rif.
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 06:54 AM
Quote
"GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!!!!".


***Edited to say... ***

GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL (EXCEPT FOR RIF <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> )
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 06:58 AM
Quote
Quote:
"GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!!!!".



***Edited to say... ***

Except for Rif. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />



That's right Riffy! Oh, and BK too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:01 AM
Yeah, don't forget BigK... and isn't 411 a guy too??? if so, we can't lump him in with the droolers... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:04 AM
Oooooh, you're right. O.k., we'll exclude all of our male MB friends. But Mr. Gray (not Jonsey) DEFINITELY drools! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:18 AM
Quote
Well, the pennants will just say "Marriage Builders". But, me and Rif, 411, Melody, Ace and all the others will be holding a HUGE banner that says "GIRLS RULE AND BOYS DROOL!!!!".

Not very creative I know, but it's all I gots right now.

Seriously though, I DO hope you visualize us doing that cuz if we were all there in your home with you tomorrow, that's what we'd be doing. And boy we'd be obnoxious. We'd be ready for a smack down if Mr. Gray got out of line, fo sho. We'd be quiet while we watched the game and just after you do something goddessy, we'd start hooting and hollering. Blow horn and all. Of course, Mel would probably be picking her nose at the same time, but oh well, it's my fantasy


I like it!!

I WILL visualize it!! You can count on it!! Boy, I'd love to see that!! That would be fun!!

Except for Mel picking her nose!!

Unless she wiped her fingers on Mr. Gray's shirt afterwards!

So cool ya'll are up!! I really needed a pick-me-up. I was feeling a little down.

Star Trek V was on so I had that on while I was zipping back and forth. Then the melancholy music score started to get to me a little bit.

Party on the thread!! OVER HERE!! Party on the thread!!!

I'm not sleepy at ALL. But it's just as well. Still a TON to do!!!

DIL wants to be here with DGS tomorrow. I think it's a good idea, really. DS25 is helping, much to his chagrin, so they may as well both be here. They may not see Mr. Gray for Christmas otherwise.

And he can have some exposure to his grandson...who has been ignored by him up to this point, really. He has yet to hold him.

It's sad.

I was looking at some pictures of the kids earlier. DGS looks like ALL THREE of them when they were his age.

So CUTE!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:21 AM
I'm having LOADS of fun!! Believe it!!

Mr. Gray is going to crap bricks and basset hounds when he sees the house!!

I'm so glad you are going to get to spend time with your family!! I hope you guys have great time...I KNOW ya'll will!

If you pass through here...I'll be the one on the bay mare riding alongside I-10 on Christmas day!!

Weather permitting, of course!!! LOL!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:22 AM
Quote
But Mr. Gray (not Jonsey) DEFINITELY drools!


ROTFLMAO!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:27 AM
Quote
Mr. Gray is going to crap bricks and basset hounds when he sees the house!!



OUCH!!! And not on your sparkling clean floor!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:31 AM
Quote
Star Trek V was on so I had that on while I was zipping back and forth. Then the melancholy music score started to get to me a little bit.


Oh brother.....I just can't imagine what kind of dreams you'll have tonight after you finally get to bed.....lol.....

O.K......back to tommorow, or today, or whatever!.....lol....know that we have invited Captain Kirk himself to the cheering section, right next to the killer B's. Sooo, if there is ANY trouble out of Mr. Gray, WE WILL NUKE HIS [censored]. Kapish? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:46 AM
Quote
O.K......back to tommorow, or today, or whatever!.....lol....know that we have invited Captain Kirk himself to the cheering section, right next to the killer B's. Sooo, if there is ANY trouble out of Mr. Gray, WE WILL NUKE HIS [censored]. Kapish?


YAAAAAAY!! Captain Kirk!! He'll kick some booty!! Then we can go horseback riding!!!

Nuke 'em! Nuke 'em good!! The Enterprise will be on stand-by!! Locked on target!!

Hey, what about Spock? Oh yeah, I AM SPOCK!!

Gotta keep him close at hand for sure!!

I feel a lot better knowing so many will be thinking about me tomorrow...oops...today when he's here. 11am CST!

I mean, I knew that ya'll would be thinking about me, it's just nice to hear it!!! A LOT!

I wasn't hungry for supper earlier and now I am. I think I might go have a salad!! Got plenty of veggies!!!

AND...the Killer B's have to sing the King Bee song. Mr. Gray...I mean Jonesy will be singing it to me soon!!!

Ima countin' on it!!
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:49 AM
I have to be a party pooper and go to bed now.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

But, I WILL be there in spirit tomorrow blowing my horn. I'll be standing ON THE OTHER SIDE of the bleachers from Mel. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Captain Kirk AND Spock have just confirmed as well.

See ya tommorow. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:50 AM
Quote
OUCH!!! And not on your sparkling clean floor!


LOL!!

I could hear DIL's response to b's & b's and drool all over the floor....

EEEEeeeeeewwwwwwwww!!

She's been propping me up a lot today (oops! yesterday!) In IM and when I dropped some comedies off for her earlier in the afternoon.

She was SO MAD at Mr. Gray's self-serving carp in his blog, she wanted to kick the carp out of HIM!

So I'll have to keep her calm later. She's more apt to light into him than anyone. I told her if she felt like it to be my guest!!

Outside, though. No brawling in the house!

Nah, she'll behave. She's well-versed in MB now. She knows the drill. She'll be here to support me.

Gotta love her!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:52 AM
Quote
I have to be a party pooper and go to bed now.



But, I WILL be there in spirit tomorrow blowing my horn. I'll be standing ON THE OTHER SIDE of the bleachers from Mel.

Captain Kirk AND Spock have just confirmed as well.

See ya tommorow.


Aaahhhhh Darn!!

I'll be ready for ya'll! Cookies and punch all around!! No Romulan Ale!!

Have a good night. It's time for food now over here!!
Posted By: mopey Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:53 AM
Quote
AND...the Killer B's have to sing the King Bee song. Mr. Gray...I mean Jonesy will be singing it to me soon!!!

Ima countin' on it!!


WOO HOO!!!! Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte, it's your birthday, Go Charlotte....... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hope ya sleep well. Good night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 07:54 AM
Well, we're gonna need Swashbuckling Mr. Sulu here, too!!

And Bones, so he can administer life-saving treatment to Jonesy after Mr. Gray has been stomped out of him!

And well, we GOTTA have Uhura and Scotty and Chekov as well!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 08:00 AM
Have a good snack! I'll probably be asleep by then as it will be 0030 in the morning over here... but I'll definitely say a prayer for you before I go to bed!
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Whatever - 12/15/07 01:53 PM
Good Morning, Charlotte!

I've got my cheerleader sweater on with the MB (heart) Charlotte letters on the front. Got my pom poms and megaphone all ready, too. I haven't posted much but I've been reading/cheering for you. And just yesterday, Miss M officially labeled Josie and me 'MB cheerleaders'...did ya see that on the Miss M "Happy Place" thread?

The bleachers are as big as the Rose Bowl stands Charlotte so picture all of us cheering you on as the floodlights dim. And we'll be here for you just like we were for SMB when she tried to Plan B, but got a little sidetracked ........but things worked out, anyhow, in spite of her missteps. It will be the same for you, Charlotte.

No matter what, we'll be here for you like we have been from the beginning. Count on it and us!!!! ~~~>Except RIF may be a bit distracted for a couple weeks!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <~~~

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Charlotte and DD}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Ace
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Oh Crap!! - 12/15/07 02:12 PM
It's all rainy and wet here!!!
Posted By: believer Re: Oh Crap!! - 12/15/07 02:25 PM
Hang in there, Charlotte. Remember, the affair will end, the affair will end........................
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Oh Crap!! - 12/15/07 02:41 PM
Charlotte, about his blog. Remember that's not your husband posting and it may not be him that shows up today. In fact, I would in no way acknowledge to him that you've even seen it. Don't give him the satisfaction. While he's there, you're all sweetness and smiles, a Plan A Goddess. He can't rattle a Goddess.

We'll be here waiting for a full report. Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte...
Posted By: RIF Re: Oh Crap!! - 12/15/07 04:36 PM
Hey Charlotte - I just realized that I'll probably still be awake at 1100 Texas time..

Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be praying for you starting at 1100 on my Texas Watch! You're going to do great!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oh Crap!! - 12/15/07 05:42 PM
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!

I am SO nervous!!!

Things are okay so far.
Posted By: _Ace_ Praying for you Charlotte..... - 12/15/07 05:43 PM
It may be dark and dreary, but the fog will dissapate after the darkness.

And the cheering crowd will be here for you throughout the entire cycle......

Ace
Posted By: believer Re: Praying for you Charlotte..... - 12/15/07 05:44 PM
I think I can hear Mr. Gray babbling away all the way from California..........
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Praying for you Charlotte..... - 12/15/07 05:46 PM
Hey B.....your success story is being paged on the Success Story thread. (There's a special space reserved for you on that thread, too, Charlotte!!!! Regardless what happens today!)

Ace
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Praying for you Charlotte..... - 12/15/07 05:58 PM
Hoping all goes well this morning...will check back later for an update!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine PBL - 12/15/07 07:18 PM
I'll be back with an update shortly!

Brain still fried here!
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/15/07 07:53 PM
Miss Charlotte - Are you still recovering from your ordeal, or are you giving everyone a chance to go out for popcorn?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: PBL - 12/15/07 08:29 PM
Where is that girl!??? She will fill you in, but it went pretty well. She was nervous at first, but noticed that he was shaking. They were both very pleasant about the whole thing. As he went to leave, she handed him the Plan B letter and asked him to read it. He left then.

She called me up and told me everything and we ended up laughing our heads off over something....

Charlotte: I gave him the letter

Mel: oh good! and who is your intermediary?

Charlotte: YOU..

Mel: ME?

Charlotte: yep, you offered and I have the PROOF in an email!!

Mel: BWWAHAHAAHHAAA

Charlotte: BWAHAHAHAAA!

It really was hysterical and we were laughing so hard I could hardly talk. But she is heartbroken, you guys. Hopefully she will come here and fill in the details soon.

I just want to say again how very much I love you guys for posting to her. You keep her uplifted and positive and she was so happy about your posts to her last night and this morning. That means so much to her! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mimi_here Re: PBL - 12/15/07 08:49 PM
Mel:

Is Charlotte your friend IRL?
Posted By: maggiemagster Re: PBL - 12/15/07 10:32 PM
*sending strength and prayers to plan b rockstar charlotte*
Posted By: mojodiva Re: PBL - 12/15/07 10:57 PM
Quote
Mel:

Is Charlotte your friend IRL?

If she wasn't before, she sure is by now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Charlotte-- I read the blog and.... well, you show a lot of restrain from exposing him to his 'radio buddies.' I seriously doubt they'd give him any sort of comfort if he was man enough to tell the truth about his situation.

I know today was very hard for you. By going to Plan B, you really are doing the right thing. I honestly believe you will have no regrets.
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/15/07 11:03 PM
Charlotte - Hope you are doing okay. Please have some hope that Plan B WILL end the affair. You just need to stay very dark.

The seeds of the destruction of the affair are in it's beginning. My ex's OW cheated while her husband was in Iraq. My ex was a vet and very proud of veterans in general. I used to ask him how he could feel okay about the start of their relationship.

Well, he didn't. From the start, he knew in the back of his mind that the OW could do to HIM what she did to her husband.

Your WH's OW left her sick husband. Don't think hubby won't be mulling THAT one over in his mind.

Also OW laughed at you and is just generally a nasty person. It won't last.
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/15/07 11:22 PM
Charlotte....

You are lovable.

Heck, us MBers have never even met you and we all love you.

You are courageous.

You stood up for what is right and good. You did it anyway and you were scared to death. I am very proud of you. You won't regret this. You have to teach people how to treat you. Make no mistake about it, Jonesy will have boat loads of respect for you now. You'll see.

You're not alone.

We're here for you.

Side note.....did you picture us cheering for you? WAS Mel picking her nose?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />



{{{{{{{{{Charlotte}}}}}}}}}}
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: PBL - 12/16/07 12:03 AM
Quote
Side note.....did you picture us cheering for you? WAS Mel picking her nose?

Yeah, and I held her hand today with dat hand! **snort** <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 01:36 AM
Quote
Quote:


Side note.....did you picture us cheering for you? WAS Mel picking her nose?



Yeah, and I held her hand today with dat hand! **snort**



Ewwwwwwwww! Lol! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: PBL - 12/16/07 01:36 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Looking forward to your report... (Mel - You're such a good friend... thanks for being there for Charlotte!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> )

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 01:40 AM
Wow!!

I'm sorry guys!! I got jumpy about Mr. Gray coming back. DS25 & pal were going to follow him back in pal's truck so Mr. Gray
wouldn't have to drive them back.

Well, that apparently changed by the time they got outside because they left pal's truck.

So, everything went well. I was SO nervous but he was pleasant and so was I.

BUT-the stupid radios came up, of course. I just told him I didn't have anything to do with that, he'd have talk to my Doberman. He brought them up again about some radio mags. AGAIN...sorry I don't know anything about that, you'll have to talk to my Doberman.

Yet again: we were in the radio room and he started going on about how there aren't any really any worth anything except..."maybe those two over there." I said, I'm sorry, I don't have anything to do with that, you'll have to talk to my Doberman!!!!!!!!!

I told him that was between my Doberman and his guy, let them hash it out, I don't know anything about it.

Other than that it went really well. DIL had to stay home with DGS because of the weather but she was faithfully propping me up in IM. My sister was, too.

So I'd be over here, over there, over everywhere and ding! I
had to IM someone, or answer my phone doorbell for an IM. They were making me LAUGH!

At one point Mr. Gray asked what was that ding-dong? My phone. I'm sure he was wondering who the heck I was talking to! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I was in the bedroom with him while he was taking things off of his dresser. That's when I noticed that he was still wearing his ring. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

And he was picking things up...BOY was he SHAKING!!! He was shakier than I was!!!

Those are two things that gave me a lot of hope. I know, I shouldn't read too much into it, but I can't help it!! I thought it was a good sign!!!

He had DD25 and pal get the TV out of the radio room for me. He didn't take his desk, though. And nothing out of his closet, either.

And he had a big ol' truck, too!! I don't get it.

Oh well, there's gonna be fur flying now!! I gotta warn my Doberman...the radio heat is going to be turned WAY up, I'm sure!!

I have the perfect solution for him to take to the table, though. An estate sale!! Let him run THAT one by Mr. Mudd!!

LOL!!!

Wooooooooo!!

Now Mr. Gray is dawdling with DD25 and pal. Watching a movie? I don't know.

Now they are eating, according to DIL.

I gave him the letter and the write-up he did for our wedding for the paper all those years ago.

Now waiting to see what, if anything, will happen!

I went for a really long drive and ended up in BFE waiting for him to come back and drop DD25 and pal off but I finally had to give up and go home. I'm at DIL's right now, though!!

Thanks EVERYBODY!!!! I would have NEVER made it without ya'll!!!

Big hugs all around!!!!
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/16/07 01:54 AM
Good job, Charlotte! Especially the part about talking to your attorney. Excellent, excellent. No muss no fuss, no errors. I always made the mistake of getting into long conversations about things like that. Way to go!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: PBL - 12/16/07 01:56 AM
Great job Charlotte!!!

Now you need to turn into a big black hole... turn off your IM so he can't see you. Don't answer your phone. And try not too think about him...

Now's the time for him to remember all of the great things you did for him over these past weeks of Plan-A... trust me, he IS thinking about you...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 02:41 AM
There are a lot of growth opportunities in a plan B. Everything from learning how to achieve happiness without relying on someone else AND you can learn how to make sushi or something to fill your time.

You're going to come out better than you were, regardless of which way it turns out. Guaranteed.
Posted By: Resilient Re: PBL - 12/16/07 02:49 AM
SSDD, Charlotte.

You did outstanding, honey!

Jo
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 02:53 AM
Quote
He didn't take his desk, though. And nothing out of his closet, either.

And he had a big ol' truck, too!! I don't get it.


I DO!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

He didn't take them cuz he doesn't want to have to load them up, and tote em off and then have to do it again soon cuz he knows he wants to come back!

And I totally agree that the ring was a very good sign. The shaking too cuz he's unsure of what the heck he's doing. That or he has a really bad hangover. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mimi_here Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:15 AM
Must be part of the script in the WS MANUAL.

My H left his whole closet full of clothes, too.

I think the RING is definitely a POSITIVE SIGN.

He had to FACE the REALITY of what he was doing. That's what PLAN B is all about..coming to grips with REALITY...
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:28 AM
Hey Mimi,

Will you ask your H the reason he left his clothes? I'd like to see if we're right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:49 AM
LOL!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:52 AM
Quote
Must be part of the script in the WS MANUAL.

My H left his whole closet full of clothes, too.

I think the RING is definitely a POSITIVE SIGN.

He had to FACE the REALITY of what he was doing. That's what PLAN B is all about..coming to grips with REALITY...


Hi mimi!!!!!!

That's funny!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I don't know what to do with them now. I guess I'll have to drag them over to my Doberman's! LOL!

I SO agree about the ring!! I'm glad you think so too!! I'm really excited about that!!

And the SHAKING!!! WOW!!! YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:56 AM
Quote
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He didn't take his desk, though. And nothing out of his closet, either.

And he had a big ol' truck, too!! I don't get it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



I DO!!

He didn't take them cuz he doesn't want to have to load them up, and tote em off and then have to do it again soon cuz he knows he wants to come back!

And I totally agree that the ring was a very good sign. The shaking too cuz he's unsure of what the heck he's doing. That or he has a really bad hangover.


I love it, mopey!!! Great story!!! And it will come true!!! He DOES want to!! I just KNOW it!!

Wow, the ring!!! I'm still ridin' high on that!!! Wow. Just....WOW!

And the shaking....doubly doo da WOW!!!!
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/16/07 03:57 AM
Charlotte - They almost ALL want to come back to the family. Odds are way in your favor. And Plan B will protect your precious little heart in the meantime.
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:03 AM
Be careful of the "holiday" reconciling though. I believe Meremortal has a thread around here regarding WSs wanting to come back for the holidays to get their fix of you and the comforts of family and home and then splitting afterwards.

You might want to check out that thread.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:09 AM
Thanks believer!!

It definitely needed protecting. It was getting REALLY close there!!!!!

He spent a lot of time with DS25 today and that's a good thing, too!!!

I was still at DIL & DS25's when DS25 came in. He said that Mr. Gray did not get the mail off of the door. He had taken some of it but not the check he needed for his glasses from the vision place.

I asked DS25 saw him reading a letter and DS said he didn't see any letters. So that means it was read or will be read in private. I thought as much.

He probably won't try to contact me but I imagine on Monday my poor Doberman is going to be lambasted by Mr. Mudd. I'll have to warn him. Forewarned is fore armed, eh?

Well, I did already tell him what I was going to do this weekend so he knows about that. But he thought Mr. Gray was going to get the personal stuff completely out of here. So...............uh oh!!! LOL!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:12 AM
Thanks, mopey.

I was thinking about that thread earlier.

He USED to love to shop for me. I don't know about now. But if he does I guess I'll have to forward it to Mel! LOL!

Mel.............LOL that was SO funny earlier!!

We were REALLY ROTFLMAO about that intermediary thing!!

I was giggling about that nearly the whole time I was driving around in BFE!!!!!!!!
Posted By: mimi_here Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:44 AM
Charlotte:

I'm new to your LANGUAGE.

Who is DOBERMAN? and What is BFE? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:54 AM
Hi mimi!!!

LMAO!!!!!

You cracked me up, there!!

My Doberman is my attorney. It's his method in court that earned him the nickname. Just like a Doberman when a burglar breaks in...or TRIES to, rather...thinking they are alone....when little do they know...there's a Doberman who slips silently up beside them...then....

WHAMMO!! Got 'em by the throat!!!

We had two really great Dobies growing up and we got to see them in action!

Now I want another one...oh wait, I already have one! LOL!

No really, I have been thinking about it a lot. Our dog lives with my mom and grandma now. I was thinking about adopting, though, so I don't know what to do. I'd LOVE to have a Dobie again! They are SO great!!

BFE-term used for anyplace out in the boonies...stands for "Bum F'd Egypt." I don't know where this term originated or anything. Or why, even. It has no rhyme or reason. I guess it's just fun to say. I never really gave it a lot of thought...it just seems like a good description for desolate landscape. Maybe that's why? Because of the desolate landscape in Egypt? I don't know. Well, looks like it's time for some research!!

Thanks, mimi!!! Sorry this ended up being so long...my fingers are still excited, I guess!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mimi_here Re: PBL - 12/16/07 05:01 AM
I moved my H's clothes to the new house that he eventually moved into with me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 05:05 AM
Wow, so he never got them at all until ya'll were back together?

I was reading your story the other day but I didn't finish. I knew about the furniture thing. I had to stop because I had to leave but I want to go back and finish.

Very inspiring!!!!

And when you wanted to call him so bad...I was already feelin' that tonight!! LOL!!

Managed to quash it, though! Thank goodness!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine BFE - 12/16/07 05:12 AM
I found it in the Urban Dictionary, yes, to desolate area but no to origin.

So I looked some more and a slang site said the origin is possibly military.
Posted By: mimi_here Re: PBL - 12/16/07 05:31 AM
Quote
Wow, so he never got them at all until ya'll were back together?


Nope! I think he's given most of those clothes away by now.

He's bought almost all new clothes..like he's trying to wipe the slate from that old life..

He's looking at DREAM GIRLS now..that's why I'm on here..that music is depressing to me..
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 05:35 AM
Hi mimi!!!

Quote
He's bought almost all new clothes..like he's trying to wipe the slate from that old life..


That's a good idea!

Dream Girls? Is that one of those reality shows? I think I've heard of it but I'm not sure. About the only reality shows I watch are Dirty Jobs (LOL!!) (Well I don't know if that one counts, but it should!) and I've seen Intervention a few times.
Posted By: RIF Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:17 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Glad you're doing good... this will be my last night-shift for a while.

I start my trip home tomorrow and won't be back on the computer until Tuesday evening... and then I'll be on TEXAS TIME!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:41 AM
Bummer. Does this mean that you can't accept any gifts from Jonesy now? I don't mean to be depressing but I guess it's a good question for plan B'ers. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:48 AM
Quote
I start my trip home tomorrow



YAY!!!!!!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:49 AM
Thanks RIF!!!!

YAY!!!! Texas time!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

May your journey home be safe and speedy!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:50 AM
Quote
Bummer. Does this mean that you can't accept any gifts from Jonesy now? I don't mean to be depressing but I guess it's a good question for plan B'ers.


I've heard that it's a no-no, so I guess not. Just as well. He'll probably get me a sack of coal anyway now!! LOL!
Posted By: RIF Re: PBL - 12/16/07 07:14 AM
Hey Charlotte - Isn't Mel going to be your intermediary? She can just keep them for you until Jonesy comes back, then you can open them then! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Going to lunch, then I have a meeting... I'll check back later...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 07:17 AM
Hi RIF!

She sure is! That was SO funny, LOL!!

GREAT idea, RIF!!!!

I'll do just that!!

We'll just celebrate Christmas a little late!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: PBL - 12/16/07 07:22 AM
I agree Rif. Having Mel save them is an excellent idea. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mel.....that was so kind of you to be the intermediary for Charlotte. I couldn't think of anyone better. I'll bet you'll have Mr. Gray straightened up in no time. He won't have a chance! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:13 PM
Still quiet here. But I don't anticipate anything from him, though I may fervently with for it at times.

I'm sure the fireworks will start tomorrow with my Doberman, though. I can only imagine what kind of babble Mr. Gray will be spouting to try and get to me.
Posted By: RIF Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:23 PM
Hey Charlotte!

I've signed off of my night-shift jobs and I just wanted to tell you that you're doing great!!!

I'll check back in with you when I get home... to TEXAS!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Stay very dark... let Mel and your Doberman handle Mr. Gray for now... You just take care of yourself and don't give him another thought!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:26 PM
It is hard to predict how they will respond to Plan B, Charlotte. I think it depends on how controlling they are. My ex came right over and stood outside knocking on the door for several hours, begging me to let him in to "talk". But then I heard NOTHING for 4 months, when he called me at work to announce he was in the process of moving back in.

The best thing for you is to stay dark, and not think about him. Get busy making your life better. I started exercising, cleaned the house spotless, redecorated, organized, detailed the car, made a garden, started a business, did volunteer work, and let all my friends know that I wanted to go out - ANYWHERE. That helped my self-esteem, which was in the toilet.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:34 PM
Thanks RIF and believer,

I know ya'll are right. I'll be whining about it until the crap hits the fan with my Doberman and I get accused of anonymous calls again or something.

Then I will be very, very happy and thankful that I am in B.

I'll get there...eventually!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:36 PM
C22

So proud of you girl!!!

In terms of how WHs respond to Plan B--mine went dark for almost a month. Then I got letters and emails once a week for 10 weeks. He also sent a birthday card to me in Spetember, the doggies birthday presents in October and last week I got a gift magazine subscription from him (assuming its for Christmas??) I am expecting Christmas gifts for the dogs anyday now. LOL!!!

Silly wayward...

You'll do great in Plan B. You've just enough spunk to get through fine!

Smartie
Posted By: believer Re: PBL - 12/16/07 04:39 PM
Plan B feels very uncomfortable at first. No interaction at all seems wrong. And it feels like you are just letting the WS do whatever they want, and they are glad to be rid of you.

Also, posting is hard after all the drama. Afterall, NOTHING happens, day after day.

But have faith that Plan B is usually the thing that brings them back home.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: PBL - 12/16/07 06:01 PM
Quote
Plan B feels very uncomfortable at first. No interaction at all seems wrong. And it feels like you are just letting the WS do whatever they want, and they are glad to be rid of you.

Also, posting is hard after all the drama. Afterall, NOTHING happens, day after day.

But have faith that Plan B is usually the thing that brings them back home.


Thanks believer!!

I'm hangin' in and havin' faith! (well, I'm working on it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> )

My sister just totally doesn't understand what I'm doing, even though I tried to explain it, sent her the link to MB and to my thread.

The other day she was all: what about the 3%? I was like...
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

I told her I gave Mr. Gray the PBL yesterday...still, she was in "Duh" mode. So I give up. I'm not going to bother talking to her about it.

I don't need any Negative Nellies! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Get up and Boogie!! - 12/16/07 08:14 PM
Well,

I'm going to a Christmas party with my mom in a little while. Post office folks. No booze allowed. No weapons, either...don't want anyone "going postal" LOL!

If they start talkin' shop, I'm outta there! I'll hitchhike home, dangit!!

I guess I'd better bring along a book to read!

Maybe they'll have Pictionary or something...that would be fun!! Haven't played that in a while.
Posted By: believer Re: Get up and Boogie!! - 12/16/07 10:07 PM
Charlotte - Good job on getting out, even if it is only a Post Office parties.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Get up and Boogie!! - 12/17/07 06:51 AM
There were a ton of people there. It was at the home of one of Mom's coworkers. Really nice digs!

Yum yum food! There was even paella!!!!

And sushi, and I actually ate some! And then I ate some more! I liked it!! A lot! I surprised myself!

It wasn't really that hoppin' but it was fun to be away from the house and amongst lots of people. More new people!!

Yay!

There was one of those gift-giving games and we played one round of Bingo. Then the kids started fighting over the bingo balls and who's turn it was to call so that was the end of that!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 06:54 AM
Well, Mr. Gray updated his blog today. I know I'm not supposed to look but it was suggested that I check-in, just to see what he would say.

And you know what? It didn't even bother me!

It bothered the heck out of my DIL, though!!

He can go ahead and try to get to me all he wants...my Doberman takes good care of me.

Now Mel is on the other end so I'm surrounded by warriors!!!
Posted By: usedtobelieve Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 08:08 AM
char,

i have been reading your post everyday and by golly you are one strong woman. makes me wish i was in Texas <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

i no like Mr. Gay (i love that movie)

keep up the strength and you will help make us that are not so strong to become a rock.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 04:55 PM
lurking. encouragement from L.A.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:15 PM
Quote
Well, Mr. Gray updated his blog today. I know I'm not supposed to look but it was suggested that I check-in, just to see what he would say.

Charlotte, I read his blog too (I was soooo tempted to post to him but restrained. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />) He's spewing fog as predicted. "Poor, poor me." I'd bet dollars to donuts he KNOWS you're reading and he's posturing.

But... now that you're in Plan B, you SHOULD stay away from his blog. Let ML filter any important info to you that he may post. I wouldn't be surprised if he used his blog on down the line to reach out to you (since he'll soon discover he REALLY can't contact you directly anymore.)
Posted By: ark^^ Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:48 PM
Well, Mr. Gray updated his blog today. I know I'm not supposed to look but it was suggested that I check-in, just to see what he would say

bad suggestion..
plan B....you are working on programing your brain from including him in your thoughts...

It bothered the heck out of my DIL, though!!

yep and that's just more focus on emotions and feelings all wrapped up in him....

plan B...retraining YOUR thought processes....

AND

people here should not be discussing his blogs...and his stuff...

mr charlotte WHO?? in other words... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

ARK
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:50 PM
Awwww....thank you, utb!!!!

That makes me feel SO good and makes me feel even stronger!!

I love the movie, too. I didn't realize it would end up becoming so significant!!!!

"I'm so sad, I got a worried mind...

I'm so lonesome...all of the time....

Since I left my Baby behind...on Blue Bayou...."

(skip to chorus)

"I'm goin' back someday, come what may...to Blue Bayou..."

etc.

(I'd better quit that now!!)

I love the movie version of the song with Roy Orbison a LOT better than the Linda Ronstadt version!!

Take care, utb!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:51 PM
HI BELLEVUE!!!!

Where the heck have you been hiding?

LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good to see ya'!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:53 PM
LOL!!

Thanks princess meggy!!

Yeah, it was pretty amusing!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 05:55 PM
Hi ark^^!!!!

Thank you, I know you're right. Mel suggested I check it to see what he posted.

Truth is, I would have anyway...but it won't become a habit!!

I promise!!!

So that's it for that!!

(Mr. Charlotte, who? LOL!!!)
Posted By: ark^^ Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 06:31 PM
feel free to bonk ol melody upside the head...
from me of course.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

she can handle it..

ARKie
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 06:39 PM
Quote
HI BELLEVUE!!!!

Where the heck have you been hiding?

LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Good to see ya'!!

Yeay, your progress cheers me so much. And I believe it IS progress and that you are headed for success and recovery. Reading your thread is like breathing second hand smoke for an ex-smoker. I mean, except for the nicotine and tar. Maybe there's a better comparison.

Anyway, vicarious success, which I observe from the stands. Self respect, courage, using the tools and the profered help to save yourself. You are so Healthy! [claps hands enthusiastically].
Posted By: SIHW Re: Mr. Gray - 12/17/07 07:06 PM
Quote
Well, Mr. Gray updated his blog today. I know I'm not supposed to look but it was suggested that I check-in, just to see what he would say.

And you know what? It didn't even bother me!

It bothered the heck out of my DIL, though!!

He can go ahead and try to get to me all he wants...my Doberman takes good care of me.

Now Mel is on the other end so I'm surrounded by warriors!!!

hey hey char...Happy holidays.....I was checkin in on you and noticed you check his blog....one word of warning....me being upto date on this blog/myspace thing....it is very possible he can have a tracker on his blog that shows him who checks his blog and where they are checking from....if he knows your IP address it is possible for him to pinpoint you....he can even put an "invisible tracker on....I know how to do this I have 2 on my myspace alone so I can always see who is checking my myspace and from where and I can flag IP adress's when I know who's who. This is how I knew my XBF's XGF from Idaho was stalking my myspace the first month he and I were together she checked my myspace 45 times. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />.....I am gonna suggest this....you might try checking it from a proxy server like seconddoor.net or youhide.com. It will show you as logining in from somewhere different. and I think it shows the IP address as different as well. Give it a try.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 02:11 AM
SIHW has a point-- he'll know when you check if he's got a hit counter or some type of tracker.

Stop checking the blog. You are in Plan B-- FFICIALLY-- so its time to retreat.

Now, what are the list of things you are working on during Plan B?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 02:21 AM
Hi mojo!!

I'm not going there again. I got it covered. I had a long talk with my Doberman today and that was one of the things discussed.

From now on HE will check it for pertinent information and print it out if necessary... even if it's just FYI for him. Good deal!!!

I made cookies today.

Organic cookies. The only thing I didn't have that was organic were the chocolate chips.

I am working on the house...trying to get the tree out of the disaster of My Doberman's Dinner's wreck of a room so I can put it up one last time.

Spending time with family....and....

other than that... NOT worrying about the holidays!!
Posted By: myfamilyilove Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 02:46 AM
Hi Charlotte

Glad you seem to be doing well. I thought you handled things brilliantly. Keep it up and stay strong.

Vladie
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 02:54 AM
Hi SIHW!!!

Thank you! Yeah, I had forgotten about that. But I'm not going to go through all the hoo-haw to look without him knowing. I'm not looking!!!! LOL!!

Thank you, Doberman!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 02:56 AM
Hi Vladie!!!

Thank you!! I feel really good about it!! Especially since I know how it affected My Doberman's Dinner, aka Mr. Gray!!

LOL!!

I'm gettin' stronger, by gum!!!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 03:49 AM
Charlotte,

Looks like you're right on course.

We both started our Plan B's on Saturday. Laff my WxGf called me to ask for my new mailing address even though I e-mailed it to her on Thursday.

These wayward folks are cuckoo.

No blog peeking just go totally dark and make your self scarce.

Expect nothing and live life to its fullest. No more hurts from Mr. Gray if he wants to join the Charlotte fun life he needs to meet the requirements.

You're doing great.

Stand firm and stand tall and maybe you should blast Twisted Sister's "We're not gonna take it" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 04:08 AM
LOL, 411!!!!!!!!!!

My band used to do that song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Now it's on a commercial...ugh!! I hate it when songs get ruined by commercials!!!

I HATE that stupid Bob Seger song now. And forever!

Nope, my Doberman will check the blog from now on!!!

(cue Nelson from the Simpsons: HA HA!!!!)

Oh yeah, I meant to answer your email...I was busy baking cookies today....I'll get in there, though!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 05:33 AM
No excuses Charlotte :P

Nothing need be rushed. I'm jsut learning and growing exponentially over the last few weeks. Still a lot of growth to be had.

You've grown by leaps and bounds as well and you're one tough cookie.

Keep up your healing/self-improvement time.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mr. Gray - 12/18/07 07:17 AM
Quote
No excuses Charlotte :P


LOL, 411!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you. I'm surprised at how tough I'm able to be. I can't take all the credit, though.

You guys have helped me out so much!!!

Thanks again!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Plan B - 12/18/07 03:52 PM
I just wanted to say that ever since I gave Mr. Gray the letter...well...once I calmed down!! (Because I did cry a little while!!)

Since then, I've already begun to notice the psyhological effect it's had on me.

I feel better, I feel calmer...I'm seeing the situation so much more clearly.

I feel free.

I didn't expect such immediate results. Mel and I talked at length about Plan B in many conversations. I can see a lot of what she said I would feel happening to me.

Of course, I'm sure that some of it could be the power of suggestion, but I don't think too much of it is!

And I don't want to contact him at all. I had a bad moment that first night, but I just have no desire to contact him at all.

Not to say it will stay that way, but I really have no desire to do so at this point.

I've been avoiding triggers as much as possible, but the funny thing is, after I left my Doberman's office last night, I went to a restaurant that we used to frequent.

I didn't eat there, but got some good ol' etouffee to go. Oh, yeah, and had a smackin' good Bloody Mary! Just for enjoyment, not because I needed alcohol. I was afraid I was going to turn into a lush for a while there. I've been losing the NEED for it, though. YAY!!

I have eaten alone at restaurants since Mr. Gray has been gone. It doesn't bother me at all. I used to think it would.

There are some I just wouldn't be able to go to yet, though!

I took Mr. Gray's mail that he left (on purpose, IMO) to my Doberman. I think this will be another message to him that I mean business.

And I was thinking, too...he hasn't contacted me...well, except through the blog. That was clearly FMEO!

I was thinking, you know what? Maybe he dosen't want me to lose the love I have for him. He knows his tawdry affair is headed for a crash-n-burn.

And so far, not a peep to my Doberman from Mr. Mudd. Now that could change...I brought up the idea of an estate sale to my Doberman and he's going to call Mr. Mudd to put that on the table.

That might stir up Mr. Gray a bit. Or not. We'll see.

Also, I talked to him about selling a few items so the money could go to DS25, DIL & DGS. They are in dire straits with the doughski. I can't afford to really give them any.

I thought we could do it through one of the third party places but he suggested that I do it since I'm an eBay seller anyway...so that extra fees aren't taken out by a third party place.

So I'm like, heck yeah! I'll do it! I sure don't want the money! I want to help them!!

I said, well, he'll probably never agree to it. He said, why? Doesn't he care about his kids?

And I was just dumbstruck. I couldn't talk for a minute. I didn't know what to say. Finally, I said, well, right now I think he cares more about the radios!

It mad me kinda sad, though. Because of Mr. Gray's non-relationship with DD and the way he's been shunning DS21 & DS25. And especially DGS!!

But they have ME!! And their mom. I'll be there for them forever.

My Doberman had mentioned earlier that Mr. Gray is mentally ill...well, how could I not agree with that?

Oh yeah!!! LOL!!!

I told him about what was said on the blog about that item that was broken.

It came up at the hearing, and I didn't want it moved. I said, "it will get broken if it gets moved." My Doberman said, "well, then YOU won't get blamed for it!"

So...it got there and now it doesn't work. Well, it was ON when he got here and everyone saw that. Clearly I didn't break it.

I guess that $600 bulb finally went out or something.

My Doberman says...well, it's his karma!! LOL!!

I'm like, heck yeah! And it's gonna really start hitting him hard now!!!

It was so funny!! And SO true!!

I am SO glad I didn't waver and decide not to give Mr. Gray that PBL!!

It was definitely the RIGHT thing to do. Mel was teetotally absolutely right!!!

I don't know what's going to happen emotionally over the holidays but I don't think it will be as bad as I'm afraid it will be.

And the tree? Well, I don't know if I will be able to get it out of Mr. Gray's disaster. It's probably not a good idea to put up all of our special ornaments that we would get every year of our marriage. Each one unique. Sometimes more than one a year!

Plus, there are some from when Mr. Gray and BIL were kids that they made. So, I don't know. If I do put it up I think it will just have plain ornaments. We'll see.

I REALLY wanted to put it up one last time here.

Actually, I wanted to have it up by the time he got here but there was just too much to do. Plus, it would have been in the way of moving that monstrous 60" tv.

Now I have more walls to adorn with other things. YAY!!

My Doberman has a copy of the PBL for my file, too. Thanks to Mr. Gray's antics, I give my Doberman a copy of everything so Mr. Gray can be headed off at the pass if he tries to use anything against me.

There's nothing to use against me, but that doesn't mean he won't try! Especially when he gets word that an estate sale is being brought to the table for discussion! LOL!!

Well, have a great day, All! And thanks again SO MUCH for being here for me!!!

I LOVE ya'll!!!!
Posted By: weaver Re: Plan B - 12/18/07 04:16 PM
Quote
I was thinking, you know what? Maybe he dosen't want me to lose the love I have for him. He knows his tawdry affair is headed for a crash-n-burn.


There is a place, deep inside the aliens spacialsphere, where they know what is real and what should have been left back on planet fog...

And the longer and more dark your Plan B, the closer to the surface this place will come.

The crack will deepen and widen, until finally OUT POPS DH!

Quote
I feel better, I feel calmer...I'm seeing the situation so much more clearly.

I feel free.
.

Isn't it great? There will be days though, when he doesn't show any outward signs of second guessing, or worrying that you will lose your love, and the emotional roller coaster will start up again.

I had some very bad weekends after the intitial feeling of lightness and calm. Just so you are aware that some bad days might be on the horizon. Not that you won't be able to handle them, but if they do come, make sure you don't allow yourself to wallow...get busy and get him the heck off your mind ASAP, when they do happen.

And Charlotte, you ARE the biggest threat to the marriage now. Your love bank has suffered a huge hit. It's no longer in the black. He is right on that count.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/18/07 06:17 PM
Hi JJ!!!!!!

Quote
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was thinking, you know what? Maybe he dosen't want me to lose the love I have for him. He knows his tawdry affair is headed for a crash-n-burn.




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



There is a place, deep inside the aliens spacialsphere, where they know what is real and what should have been left back on planet fog...

And the longer and more dark your Plan B, the closer to the surface this place will come.

The crack will deepen and widen, until finally OUT POPS DH!


I'm glad to hear that! And I am going to stay VERY, VERY dark!! No bones about it!

Quote
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I feel better, I feel calmer...I'm seeing the situation so much more clearly.

I feel free.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

.

Isn't it great? There will be days though, when he doesn't show any outward signs of second guessing, or worrying that you will lose your love, and the emotional roller coaster will start up again.


Yeah, I'm not looking forward to that!! I am hoping to feel this way at least for a while! He might start making noise when he finds out I brought up an estate auction...but then again, maybe not. That's my biggest concern right now.

Quote
I had some very bad weekends after the intitial feeling of lightness and calm. Just so you are aware that some bad days might be on the horizon. Not that you won't be able to handle them, but if they do come, make sure you don't allow yourself to wallow...get busy and get him the heck off your mind ASAP, when they do happen.


I'll do that! I was able to breeze over his attempt to get at me through his blog. Interesting, the Freudian slips in there that he made! LOL!


Quote
And Charlotte, you ARE the biggest threat to the marriage now. Your love bank has suffered a huge hit. It's no longer in the black. He is right on that count.


I TOTALLY agree! I have been carrying a fire extinguisher around so I can put out these little sparks that threaten to break out into a full-blown blaze.

I will be staying inside our house with the doors locked now.

Thank you, JJ!!!!!!!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Plan B - 12/18/07 06:32 PM
"Doberman's Dinner"!

*Wonderful! You have no idea of the strength and power you are projecting Charlotte. And it is all the better because of the Plan B imho.

Your actions are self-determined and without regard to the hoped for effect on Doberman's Dinner. Going Dark means you don't have the feedback of watching the expression on his face when you hit him with a whammy. And HE doesn't have the feedback of your verbal or facial reactions when he takes a selfish or destructive action.

His blog postings go off into deep space where other aliens reside. Infor about him relayed from other people isn't reaching you. It also goes off into deep space or is intercepted by your filter (Melody Lane).

He gets what he says he wants: his freedom from family and you, his radios, all the time he wants with the OW, his new life. And all that is hollow, because you aren't interacting with him over his actions and choices.

You are out of the middle.

Charlotte, I'm writing this for myself; not for you. Because you arleady "get it". I'm mentally studying and processing this wonderful Plan B and Total Darkness. It's shear genius.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 02:16 AM
Hi Bellevue!!!

Thank you!!

Hey, talk all you want...it helps me to hear it again and again...it helps keep any doubts away for sure!!!

Yep. Total darkness. It's the only way!

And my Doberman's Dinner, yes, LOL!! That one popped into my head quite by accident a couple of days ago!!!

I even changed his name to that in IM & my phone before deleting contacts. I had to leave one number on the phone, though so if he does try to call, the song set to his name will alert me not to pick up.

I'm hangin' in! I want to hang on to that love that's left. Hopefully we will be able to recover once the affair is over. I do have hopes for that, still. But other than that, I am done. Movin' on!!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 02:21 AM
Reduce his ring tone to an irritating dingaling, rather than any music you previously associated to him.

Remove any possible emotional attachment to the alert. Ringtone #1 on my LG sounds like an alien ring tone - that oughta do it. no tune for dob-dinn-dinn.
Posted By: mopey Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 07:03 AM
I think Chrisner or somebody said that they put Chewbacha's (sp?) voice on his cell for his WW's ring tone. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 07:08 AM
Quote
Hopefully we will be able to recover once the affair is over. I do have hopes for that, still. But other than that, I am done. Movin' on!!!



What would the new and improved Charlotte like to do first? Do you have anything on the agenda to keep you busy that you're looking forward too? Something that's exciting, or maybe IC too?
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 03:21 PM
Hey Charlotte,

Thanks for stopping by my thread. I try to keep up with yours, but I haven't had much time to get on here lately. Anyway, looks like you are in Plan B, so hang in there. I also felt a great relief at first, then after a couple of weeks became depressed again, then went back to being OK, then depressed again. Well, you get the drift. Now I'm doing really well.

As it turns out, my Wh did not file for D, but I'll post about it on my thread.

Keep moving to Plan Charlotte....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 05:18 PM
Thank you, Chai!!!

Yeah, I'm not looking forward to more roller coaster but not much choice in that I guess. I'll just hang on to the rail and close my eyes until I'm on the upslope again!!

Right now, still good...hoping to hang on to that for a while, still.

I'm going to stay around positive people, I talked to one at length the other night and WOW! I don't know if I've ever met someone so positive in my life!!! It was great!

But it seems that since I emptied the ballast of the pus-ridden secret in my craw when I talked to OWH and gave him the evidence...fantastic things started happening to me.

Life just did a 180...I guess because I got control back and thanks in no small part to everyone at MB!!!!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 05:31 PM
Hi KaylaAndy!

Thank you! That's a great idea! I hadn't thought of that!!

I have something in mind already!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/19/07 05:43 PM
Hi mopey!!!!!

I was thinking about maybe a Doberman barking for the ringtone. Of course it absolutely MUST be a Doberman and I don't know if I can find a Dobie ringtone but I'll try!!!

Chewbacca, LOL!

We had to keep a friend's dog a few years ago, she was a husky and of course that's where Lucas got the sound effect for Chewbacca. So, it was funny for a while, but you can only take so much!!

They moved here from Illinois and the poor dog had to learn to live in the Texas heat!!

I have an IC but I haven't seen him since a couple of weeks before the temp hearing. There was too much going on. He still has my SAA book too!

I'll probably call him after the holidays. I should talk to him about my new problem that has nothing to do with Mr. Gray.

After riding out the holidays, I'm going to get a tour set up for culinary school so I can check it out. My Doberman wants to get Mr. Gray's wages garnished so there will be more money for school so he'll do his best to do so. My dad & stepmom offered to help, too, and my sis will help with loans, grants and such. (she's pursuing her Master's Degree in music so she's an expert at loans & grants!) So it's all good.

And I'm feeling the tug of getting my pilot's license. At that party the other night there were a lot of planes cruising overhead. We weren't that far from the airport I'm planning on going to for the lessons. It's pretty close to my Doberman, too, and the station where my mom works, also. All in that general area.

So, yeah, I'm gonna do it!!

Maybe I'll get some Christmas money to get the ball rolling!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

See you in the skies!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Goofy is as Goofy does..... - 12/20/07 04:03 AM
LOL!!

I'm so goofy!! I paid the water bill late. Came home tonight and the water is off!

And I need a shower!!!

Oh, I'm LMAO so hard!!!!

Oh well, at least I have some spring water that I bought the other day so I can make my tea!!
Posted By: The_411 Re: Plan B - 12/20/07 04:06 AM
Charlotte,

I've been off in lala land for a while so I was jsut checking in and it sounds like you're doing a great job on your plan B.

You have a great mental outlook and you're really being positive in tough times.

Great admiration for your strength and courage to deal with the situation.

It certainly sounds like things are getting better for you!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/20/07 04:42 AM
LOL, 411!!

That's funny! I just sent you an email!!!!

Thank you, 411, I'm hangin' in there! I got some Christmas money today, I may end up using that for my first flying lesson!!!

YAY!!!!
WooHoo!!!!!!

The water is BACK on!!

Man, they are quick! I was there less than an hour ago to pay the extra fee!

YAY!!

Now I can cook! Take a shower! Wash dishes!! Whee!

Have a nice day, Everybody!!!!
charlotte, i forgot to pay my water bill a couple of months ago and it was off for a day.

I can't tell you how many times I tried to turn on the faucet, forgetting that there was no water. Apparently I wash my hands a lot!
Hi maggie!!

Yeah, me too!! That's what was bugging me the most!! Handwashing! That, and I couldn't wash my face this a.m. either.

I'm really surprised it was so fast. I was expecting maybe it would be back on before 5pm. When I drove over, she said before noon, but NO promises!!

Well, wow! Unexpected and totally cool!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Happy Holidays!!!!! - 12/21/07 05:40 PM
Hey, All of You Wonderful People!!!!!!!

Wishing you all a wonderful, fantasmagorical holiday!!!

I'm hangin' in okay so far. If I don't think too much, I'm good. So I start playing nice movies if I start thinking too much about my Doberman's Dinner/Mr. Gray.

I've been trying to be careful because I'm really starting to have feelings of anger and disgust when I think about him. I know I need to purge these feeling so I've been doing a lot of creating and making pretty things instead of dwelling.

I made a bunch of Christmas cards and it was so FUN!! I may make more and more and enough for next year. Provided I have enough materials!!

I haven't done much shopping. I think I'm going to make a few more things like maybe some candles and other goodies that I can create in a jiffy.

String a few necklaces, maybe.

Finish some other jewelry projects that have been gathering dust.

So, yeah, it's all good!!!

If I show up here on Christmas Eve or Day whining and crying, please bring out the 2x4's!!!

But I don't think I will.

I may be in with a rant or two, though. But maybe not even that. We'll see!!!

Later on, Ya'll!!! Love ya'!!!!!!
Posted By: mopey Re: Plan B - 12/21/07 08:12 PM
Hi ya Charlotte!

That would be just too funny if you could get a doberman's bark for your ringtone.....lol....

And I didn't know about Chewbacca's voice coming from a Husky. I learned something new. Thanks! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Quote
I have an IC but I haven't seen him since a couple of weeks before the temp hearing. There was too much going on. He still has my SAA book too!

I'll probably call him after the holidays. I should talk to him about my new problem that has nothing to do with Mr. Gray.


I think this is one of the most loving things you could do for yourself right now. It helps so much to sort out all the emotional crapola you're going through. I remember when my H left me and all the thoughts I had rolling around in my head...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> And I didn't have MB! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />


Quote
After riding out the holidays, I'm going to get a tour set up for culinary school so I can check it out. My Doberman wants to get Mr. Gray's wages garnished so there will be more money for school so he'll do his best to do so. My dad & stepmom offered to help, too, and my sis will help with loans, grants and such. (she's pursuing her Master's Degree in music so she's an expert at loans & grants!) So it's all good.



Awesome! When there's a will, there's a way. I so hope you go for it. I've been wanting to learn how to make sushi myself. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Quote
And I'm feeling the tug of getting my pilot's license. At that party the other night there were a lot of planes cruising overhead. We weren't that far from the airport I'm planning on going to for the lessons. It's pretty close to my Doberman, too, and the station where my mom works, also. All in that general area.



That would be fun! My H and I have talked about that as well. Sounds like you have some exciting things to think about...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Quote
See you in the skies!!!!!!



That's cuz you're gonna come pick us girls up and take us somewhere fun, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: mopey Re: Happy Holidays!!!!! - 12/21/07 08:15 PM

Quote
I made a bunch of Christmas cards and it was so FUN!! I may make more and more and enough for next year. Provided I have enough materials!!

I haven't done much shopping. I think I'm going to make a few more things like maybe some candles and other goodies that I can create in a jiffy.

String a few necklaces, maybe.

Finish some other jewelry projects that have been gathering dust.



Charlotte....is there anything you CAN'T do?....lol.....

Mr. Gray is a fool. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Happy Holidays!!!!! - 12/22/07 05:59 PM
Quote
Charlotte....is there anything you CAN'T do?....lol.....


Nope. LOL!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Quote
Mr. Gray is a fool.


I heartily agree!!!!

Thanks mopey!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 12/22/07 06:09 PM
Hi mopey!

Yeah, Lucas had a Husky...I can't remember her name at the moment, though. She was his inspiration for that. Awwwwwwwwww!

I'll probably call my IC after the holidays. The last time I saw him it was kinda strange. I was all hopped up and excited from exposing the affair and he almost seemed afraid of me. Maybe it was just me? But I got that vibe from him.

Yeah, it's about time to go to culinary school. I've been thinking about it for years but couldn't think of a way I could do it and still have time for life and marriage, etc.

Well, now there's a school not too far from here that offers night and day classes, but the night classes cause the course to be twice as long. I'll likely take these because I'm still helping to take care of my grandma.

And flying? Oh yeah!! I've been thinking about that for a long while, too. After I started finally looking into it about how to get started, I started having thyroid problems and there was just no way I could do it then.

I figured, well, I guess that's it then. I did't know how long the problems were going to go on and I sure couldn't fly a plane while I was having problems with passing out!!

Now I'm all good and regulated by the meds. No more extreme water retention or fainting.

Yes, EVERYONE is invited!!!! We'll cram as many as we can on the plane, LOL!!! Heck, my Doberman can even come along is he wants to.

My dentist is a pilot, I'm going to see if he has a few minutes to chat when I go in next time. He wanted to take Jonesy flying once but Jonesy was too chicken.

Anyway....have a great holiday!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Had a screwy dream - 12/22/07 06:19 PM
Jonesy and I were at the mall (?) with DS25, DIL, DGS and I think DS21 and DD were there, too.

He walked off to go somewhere and I was wondering what happened to him. So I went to look.

I found him leaning in the window of a car and it was Slag! Yes, the car was parked in the mall. I think it was OWH's car, too.

I grabbed Mr. Gray (obviously he was NOT Jonesy, as I first believed) and I said, "How could you lie to me AGAIN?! How could you?!" "Get away from here and go back over there with DS25 and the others!"

He left and I turned to Slag. I grabbed her by the lapels and started shouting at her and shaking her. Calling her names. I said, "Nevermind ME! How could you do this to OWH?! Have you SEEN him lately?! He's going to end up in the hospital BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!! You lousy...(insert profanity here.)"

Then I threw her back in the seat. Then I picked up the car and threw it down the stairs. Then I left.

Cut to home, Mr. Gray is full of excuses and apologies. I said, NO MORE. I was ready to throw him out. I walked out to go for a walk.

Then all of a sudden my stepmom was running up to me trying to tell me things and I said, "I KNOW what he's doing. Remember, I told you about MB." So she said, "well, I guess I'm in this with you for the long haul, too."

That's about where the dream ended.

Dang! I was having such a SWEEEEEEET dream when I fell asleep! And then I had that freaky one not long before I woke up.

Anyway, I just wanted to get the dream out. Now I can forget it and get on with the day. Thanks for listening! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: Had a screwy dream - 12/22/07 07:25 PM
C22

Wow, you picked up the CAR and threw it down the stairs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> Remind me not to ever mske YOU mad!!! LMAO!!

Merry Christmas to you hon. Pick up a glass of eggnog instead...

Smartie
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Had a screwy dream - 12/24/07 07:41 AM
Hi smartie!!!

Thank you! Will that be the "good" eggnog or the other one? LOL!

Yeah, I'm like, "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry!!" Then I turn green and the rest is history!!!

Have a great holiday!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Another screwy dream - 12/24/07 07:50 AM
Well, I decided to drop in tonight with the screwy dream report from last night.

Dang! And I was having SUCH a good dream prior to the screwy one!!!

I'm not telling about the other...but in the screwy dream, this time Mr. Gray was at our home, but it was a different home.

He was saying he wanted to do whatever he could to save our marriage.

Well, who shows up? Slag. So he's talking to her. And I lit into her like lighter fluid to a match. I let her have it!!

I threw her skanky butt OUT!! Mr. Gray wasn't very happy about it, but oh well!

In other news:

Mr. Gray is trying to get my attention through the bank account again. He apparently bought something online and charged the shipping to our joint account, which he is not supposed to do.

Now I have to call my Doberman AGAIN! Not that anything can be done immediately, but asap after the Christmas break.

He also neglected to remove the car insurance from the account. Which he was supposed to do.

I talked to Mr. Gray's XW for nearly 5 hours tonight. No, the subject didn't revolve around him. Sure, he came up, but we talked about a billion other things.

She is worried about DIL, too, as am I. DIL is SO angry at Mr. Gray we are worried about what might happen on Christmas when DIL, DGS and DS25 have to see him at FIL's.

I don't know how much I want to tell her to calm down since Gray deserves all the verbal lashings he can get. I think I'll just let her handle it the best way she can.

If she slams the heck out of him...well, so be it.

She already knows I don't need to hear about what he said and did because I don't give a hoot. So I don't need any Gray reports.

I will be kind of curious about what happens, but I'm not even going to ask her about it afterwards. It just doesn't matter to me. He deserves everything he has coming to him.

And if he is so stupid (Stupid is as stupid does-Forrest Gump always loved to say) as to continue along his deadly path, he will be alone because I'm not going down that path with anyone.

So there's the report. I'm going to try and sleep a while now...have some baking catch-up to do later in the a.m.!!!
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Another screwy dream - 12/26/07 01:19 PM
How's it going Charlotte?
Posted By: _Ace_ Re: Another screwy dream - 12/27/07 06:52 AM
Hey Charlotte,

Quote
So there's the report. I'm going to try and sleep a while now...have some baking catch-up to do later in the a.m.!!!

Are you still baking? Is Mel helping you? Looking for an update soon.

Ace
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 12/27/07 08:53 PM
Hi princess meggy and Ace,

Thanks for checking up on me. The holidays were going pretty good. We had some cousins show up on Christmas Eve that we haven't seen in a while.

Plus-my mom's best friend who's staying over there right now had her family come over, too. And DIL & DS25 came over with DGS. Plus my sister and her fiancee.

So it was good. We ended up hooking up the Nintendo 64 and having a good time with that. I started playing Banjo Tooie again and it's kept me pretty busy. LOL! That's one complex game!

I had to laugh when I saw Mrs. W's post about having Wii injuries! Ahhhh, video games...

Jonesy used to enjoy it when I got into a game because...well if you've really gotten into a game, you know how it is...you just can't quit!! So he always kept me supplied. Of course, that was a near trigger but after playing the game a while I stopped thinking about it.

On the Mr. Gray front:

Well, he charged some shipping on our account. I should have never left money in there, but I did.

Now I'm having a problem that started in July. Someone from a check-cashing organization stole account numbers and sold them to a data broker.

They sent us a letter but at that time, our account was okay. A couple of months later there were charges on our account, one of them was an airline based in Florida.

Okay, he called the bank, they were investigating. I received a letter the other day saying they were going to reverse the credit they gave us on our account. So I went through the file and found the letter from the check-cashing place (they're like Telecheck, etc.)

That's not enough for the bank, and you would think that it was concrete proof, but no. They want to have a conference call with Mr. Gray.

I am at a loss as to what to do. I sent Mel an email but she is out of town and I don't know how often she can access the internet.

The bank wants to take hundreds of dollars back out of the account. I recently paid some bills. So I guess I'll be the one to take a hit yet again.

I was doing okay but this upset me enough to where I started crying. I'm still upset.

I don't know what to do about it. And I think he charged the shipping charges on the account just so I would break "no contact" with him and call or something.

At least, I *think* that's why. Maybe it's just because he doesn't give a damn.

And me? Although I could grab a few radios and go to a pawn shop with them to get some money, I'm NOT going to do that. And I could. He would never know what was missing...there are so many of them here.

So I don't know what to do. This sucks.

It's like I'm still suffering because of his affair.
Posted By: mopey Re: Update - 12/28/07 06:51 AM
{{{{{Charlotte}}}}}}

Unfortunately, the ramifications of affairs are far reaching....even long after the affair is over. Look at it as "just one more thing" and keep plugging along.

I don't really understand the whole check cashing thing and the bank taking money out of your acct, so I can't really help there....except to say maybe you should close that acct and reopen one in your name only. After all, you are in plan B now. Plan B is about moving on with your life, it's not a waiting period for your H to return, although they often do. I feel you should start detangling yourself from him, in every way, especially financially.

So, I think you should call your doberman and get his advice. Then face the freaking challenge head on. Do what you gotta do. Maybe your doberman can give you the o.k. to pawn off some stuff to cover the bills? Your H is still responsible for the bills made in the marriage and should be solely responsible for the bills he incurs while separated. Has your legal separation gone through yet?

DO NOT BREAK YOUR PLAN B Miss Charlotte. You will set yourself back and hate yourself for it.

It is possible that Mr. Gray is trying to get a rise out of you. I am sure he is PO'd that you gave him the plan B boot and he can no longer get his fix of you. He needs time to get over that anger and get his head out of his [censored]. I am quite sure that your plan B letter had stipulations in it that are NOT unreasonable and marriage building.

Anyway, most waywards are complete jerks while in the fog. Yours is no different. If it wasn't so sad, it'd be funny.

This too will pass..... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 12/28/07 04:57 PM
hey hey char {{{HUGS}}

I see you had a vidoe gamish christmas.....I can't really talk....my BIL and my Nephew and I were ALL addicted to Guitar Hero III.....all I can say is I rock....they haven't beat me yet. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

It's a New Year.....I think you should have a you day...go to the spa and get ready for the new you in a new year. The more you do foy yourself right now the better you will feel.
I know the drama is tought I have some of it now too (I think I have a stalker. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> The chick who cheated with my ex ex is now going after ANOTHER one of my guys.Long Story). But you are so strong we all have seen it. I know you can make it through. We all have faith in ya. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/29/07 05:29 AM
Hi mopey,

Thanks for the hug!

Yeah, this business is from July when bank account numbers were stolen in Florida by an employee from some check cashing place like Telecheck.

The bank said they needed Mr. Gray to call for a conference call. I faxed the letter that we received in July. Our account was breached in September.

So my dear intermediary is contacting Mr. Gray about this. There is no way in heck I'm breaking B!!

As for the damage he inflicted himself, I'm not breaking B for that either. I informed my Doberman and the next deposit is being taken out and I'll open another account.

I know I should have done this already but the convenience factor was like a siren song for me. But yeah, I think he was trying to get my attention, too. No way did he forget about the agreement. I don't believe that for one millisecond!

He knows what he needs to do in order to have my full attention.

If Mr. Gray doesn't call the bank for the conference call...well, I've already mentally prepared myself to take this hit. I'll live.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/29/07 05:35 AM
Thanks SIHW!!

Good to hear from you! Wow, Guitar Heroes sounds like a real blast!!

I may have to check into that!!! LOL!! I LOVE video games!! I've been digging around trying to find the original Nintendo so I can play some of those great games. So far I've found the Coleco, the Atari and THREE Sega systems!!! I have no idea how we ended up with 3!!! LOL!!!

Wow! I'm sorry to hear about your problem with that stalking chick! Man, what's the deal with some people?

I like your spa idea. I spotted one not too long ago and it isn't far from here. Now, if the bank doesn't kill me again with their random BS...I might be able to go!!

Well, I did get some Christmas money but I was going to use that for my discovery flight at the flight school.

Hmmmm...decisions, decisions!!!!

I hope you have a Happy New Year!!! I know I will!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay... - 12/29/07 07:35 PM
Stick me with a fork...I'm NOT done...

I had a little bit of an episode last night before bed. Thinking too much so I had to change the brain channel.

Missing Jonesy.

And my intermediary wrote to him about the bank thing and he answered.

I was expecting him to ignore her so I thought it was a good thing. The bank hasn't removed the money as of this a.m. so maybe he really did call.

I don't know for sure yet so I will wait and see. But if he did, good.

If not, I'm prepared.

I don't know what his motivations would be to call them...truly, this only hurts me, not him. The money in there is mine for living, not his.

So, okay. I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. If indeed it IS a gift horse. Could be a Trojan horse, after all.

So that little incident set me back a bit and I was really missin' Jonesy for a while last night. I just had to STOP the movie and NOT think about him.

Easy! Yeah, right. But really, I guess I did okay. After all, I didn't freak out and try to call him or send any emails. Did I think about it? For a millisecond.

Not even long enough for an ant to sneeze.

I'm okay now, I guess. It's been two weeks since I've seen him and no contact except for him trying to get me to break it, apparently.

I had to remind myself about the bad stuff because I was only thinking about the good. I wondered if it was the same for him?

Maybe.

I don't know and I'm not supposed to speculate but I did anyway.

I am human after all. And we do wonder about such things.

I'm hangin' in, though.

Well, just had to get that out. Thanks for listening!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay... - 12/29/07 07:44 PM
Yeah, I know. I can hear it now like Jenny to Forrest: "Are you stupid or sumthin?"
Posted By: The_411 Re: Okay... - 12/29/07 07:50 PM
Charlotte,

No fork sticking!

This is going to happen it's part of the ebb and flow of all the stuff that has transpired.

Sucks when all the A stuff continues to hurt the betrayed even after the betrayed has exited the relationship.

It's truly amazing that people can be so thoughtless at times and feign ingnorance cocnering the hurtful nature of their actions.

Stay stron and hang in there. You're doing a great job so far and the key is you're healing yourself.

You're the prize here and Mr. Gray is missing out on you. I know it's hard to see it that way but honestly you are as you've shown through your actions and words.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay... - 12/29/07 08:42 PM
Quote
No fork sticking!


LOL!! Awwwwww, why not?!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Quote
This is going to happen it's part of the ebb and flow of all the stuff that has transpired.


ITA!! This was really unexpected, though. Two weeks, I'm supposed to be better, right? Over the first hurdle anyway?

Quote
Sucks when all the A stuff continues to hurt the betrayed even after the betrayed has exited the relationship.


For SURE!!!!!

Quote
It's truly amazing that people can be so thoughtless at times and feign ingnorance cocnering the hurtful nature of their actions.


YEP! I'd have never thought he'd be so...well...DUMB!!! (Stupid is as stupid does, Sir!!!!"-Forrest)

Quote
Stay stron and hang in there. You're doing a great job so far and the key is you're healing yourself.


I'm trying. Really, really hard. Well, it hasn't been THAT hard...yeah, I'm full of it!! LOL!! But I've been able to keep it at bay at least!

Quote
You're the prize here and Mr. Gray is missing out on you. I know it's hard to see it that way but honestly you are as you've shown through your actions and words.


OOOOOO!!! I LIKE it!! I AM the prize!! Eat your heart out, Mr. Gray!!

I got one!!!! "It is one thing to talk bullsh*t, it is another to believe it!"-Forrest Gump

Perfect for Mr. Gray, eh?

I don't think he really believes the BS he's in right now but what can I do, really?

It's so cool that you happened to post at that particular time, 411...I was just thinking about emailing you around the same time, too!!

"do do do do....Twilight Zone!!!"

No, but really... psychic waves...Man, but there's a LOT of that going on lately!!!!!

It's all good!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Now what? - 12/29/07 09:12 PM
It's getting so I have to answer everything with, "Now what?"

Phone, email, text...etc.

Apparently there's a problem with the insurance at the local drugstore. Now what?

Mr. Gray related? I don't know. He's not supposed to tamper with it.

I'm about to leave now to go pick up my thyroid meds and question them about it. I hope it's not Gray related. I really do.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Now what? - 12/30/07 07:32 AM
Well, I didn't make it to the pharmacy on time so I don't know yet whether this latest snafu is Gray related.

Just to add to the fun, he didn't make the deposit into the account yet.

If I had any doubts about him trying to get my attention they are gone now!

On the bright side: I rode around for a while earlier, blasting some disco for a while and I stopped by a friend's house for a quick visit. They have a cockatoo that belonged to another friend that they want to get rid of.

So I might have a new houseguest soon! Her name is Peaches. She climbed on my hand like she knew me. I told my friend that she probably knows how much I love birds.

So I'm crossing my fingers here! He loves the bird but his wife can't stand the noise so I have a good chance!!

I guess I'll have to call my Doberman AGAIN. I don't want to have to do it, but what choice do I have?

I just hope we aren't going to have to have Gray hauled before the judge again.

I'm starting to think that the comments made by the process server might turn out to be true. He wanted to make sure he had all contact info because..."This looks like one that I'm going to have to serve again and again."

I never thought much more about him saying that until just recently. I hope he is wrong but I don't know anymore.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 12/30/07 11:16 PM
Well, it's still unclear as to whether the pharmacy problem is Gray related.

The kid at the window wasn't entirely sure what the deal was exactly.

So I guess I'll have definite confirmation tomorrow. At least I have the thyroid meds, anyway.

Mr. Gray has not yet made the deposit into the bank account. Did I already say this? If I did, I'm sorry. I don't feel like scrolling back right now.

I don't know why he wants to continue this crap. I just want to be left alone.

But he wants to continually flirt with violating court orders and potentially be dragged before the judge? Makes a LOT of sense, especially for someone who is already in trouble in CRIMINAL court.

Yeah, real, real swift, Gray.

I guess he enjoys being my Doberman's Dinner. What other reason is there?

And I'll tell you what: he hasn't been to trial yet for his DWI. Good possibility he's going to jail. Who do you think he's gonna call? Ghostbusters?

Well, he can call someone else for his commissary money!

I'm NOT going to answer!

In other news: The package I sent in November has now returned. I am having a dilemma as to whether or not to take it to my Doberman. I might. We'll see. I'm dang sure taking his voter's registration card, though. It took FOREVER to finally get him registered!

He'd better enjoy it now. Once he's convicted of the felony, he won't be able to vote. Isn't that how it goes?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Adding.... - 12/30/07 11:18 PM
It's getting to the point with Mr. Gray already where I really DON'T give a damn! I just want OUT!

I will go ahead and go through the motions of B and all but I've just about had it already. Enough with the games!

I know I thought he'd leave me alone so the love I have left is not killed. Okay, it's not quite dead yet but it's getting there...B or not.

I guess this is a good thing?
Posted By: Orchid Re: Update - 12/30/07 11:27 PM
C22,

I just wanted you to know that I read your thread daily. You are doing well even through the frustrations of dealing with the numbskull. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> The A has a way of turning the most sane into the weirdest critters. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Is Mel still helping you from afar? I am sure she is proud of your progress. I like the name for your lawyer.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Stick to your current plan. As a BS, you will go through stages...... finally you will come to a plateau of acceptance and be able to move forward knowing you have done your best.

Waaay in the distances and losing more ground everyday will be the WS..... frantically trying to figure out, why the his gap between sanity and insanity has widened.......

take care,
L.
Posted By: believer Re: Update - 12/30/07 11:43 PM
Charlotte - Stay in Plan B. Don't contact him. Don't meet ANY of his needs. Let the OW be responsible for that.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/30/07 11:58 PM
Thanks, Orchid!!

Quote
You are doing well even through the frustrations of dealing with the numbskull. The A has a way of turning the most sane into the weirdest critters.


Truly, I don't know why I'M still sane!!!

Quote
Is Mel still helping you from afar? I am sure she is proud of your progress. I like the name for your lawyer....


Yes, she emailed him about the conference call to the bank. He actually answered! As Gomer would say: "Surprise, surprise, surprise!"

Me too. Now I just HAVE to get a Doberman so I can name him after my attorney!! LOL! But seriously, we had two while I was growing up so I really do want another whether I name him after my lawyer or not! It would be funny, though! And apt!

Quote
Stick to your current plan. As a BS, you will go through stages...... finally you will come to a plateau of acceptance and be able to move forward knowing you have done your best.


I'm going to stick with it even though I've been having insidious thoughts about breaking it just to talk to him, not for the other stuff that's going on.

I've been going through some withdrawals since the other day when Mel told me he answered her email.

Shame on me!! I'm behaving...I'm behaving!!

Quote
Waaay in the distances and losing more ground everyday will be the WS..... frantically trying to figure out, why the his gap between sanity and insanity has widened.......


I can totally see this happening and I really think it probably is. Why do what he's doing otherwise? Just to be "Mr. Thing?" No. I think he wants me to think about him because he knows what's coming.

I might be wrong about that but I can't shake the feeling!

I don't know what will happen. I know we can't predict things but I really do think he is missing me.

I could just say go to Hades right now. I met a guy I really like...A LOT!!! But I won't get involved while this is going on.

If indeed there is something meant to happen then it will wait until this whole thing is done and I have waited the two years that is recommended.

I'm no weakling! I don't need ANY man to survive! But I've been meeting a lot of people and I guess meeting someone I click with is inevitable. But no...NOT goin' there!

I haven't even had the "what the heck should I care he's having and affair so I'll do what I want" feeling about it, either.

Do I question my sanity sometimes? Sure. Dealing with Gray is no picnic. I really thought he'd leave me alone. He has what he wants so leave me be. Yet...I haven't lost all feeling for him yet. I hope I don't.

But if he continues in this vein, I might! No guarantees! I'm sure he's thinking about that, too!

Sooner or later it will sink in!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 12:00 AM
Hi believer!

I won't! I'll admit that it HAS been mighty close, though! But I can hold out! I can, I can.

If that means holding out until the end of us...then so be it, I guess.

I'm getting better. I'd be better still if he wasn't playing sick little games trying to get my attention but "this too shall pass."
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: Update - 12/31/07 12:02 AM
Hi Charlotte - Just lending my support!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 01:38 AM
Thank you, Big K!!

I'm still hangin' in there somehow!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Update - 12/31/07 02:37 AM
I went to Plan B and have been in it for 3 years now. I DID talk to my ex (he came to my home) for about 20 minutes last month, but other than that, I've stayed dark. I guess it got to be a habit, and no use throwing pearls before swine.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 04:50 AM
I'm not going to be able to hang on that long, LOL!!!

I'm listening to "Tommy" right now.

Why do some things have to be SO appropriate????!!!!

Have you ever seen "Tommy?"

Rock opera by "The Who?" Or mostly Pete Townshend, really.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 12/31/07 05:05 PM
Quote
I may have to check into that!!! LOL!! I LOVE video games!! I've been digging around trying to find the original Nintendo so I can play some of those great games. So far I've found the Coleco, the Atari and THREE Sega systems!!! I have no idea how we ended up with 3!!! LOL!!!


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I think some of those could be considered antique's.....you could get some good money possibly....ahhh sega....I remember duck hunt. Oh and that dracula's castle game.....haha...and nothing beats frogger on the original atari.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Update - 12/31/07 05:18 PM
Hey Charlotte, keep those emails and phone calls coming if something comes up! You know where to find me. As you know, I have had my hands full with Christmas vacation, company, etc. etc but I am still checking in here every other day or so. If you need me, you know where to find me!

These guys are taking good care of you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 07:44 PM
Sell them??!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Not on your life!! LOL!

Ah yes, Duck Hunt...always a good one. There was shooting gallery for Coleco that was really good, too. I used to kick butt on that thing.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 07:45 PM
Thanks Mel!

I will. I'm having a bit of a hard time today. In the first place I don't feel well and that's making me think bad thoughts.

I'll be back in to post a little later. I have to go over to my G'ma's for a while.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Update - 12/31/07 07:46 PM
And speaking of bank account fraud, someone was partying down with my DEBIT CARD # last week and tried to clean out my VAST WEALTH!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Thankfully, the bank called on Saturday morning and said "wassup??" and put a stop to it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 12/31/07 08:58 PM
Good thing they called!!

It's getting worse and worse with that, I swear!

So far the bank hasn't pulled that money out of the account. I'll give them a couple of extra days to make sure but after that I guess I'll assume that he did the conference call with them.

Which is a good thing. It doesn't benefit him in any way, though. The money that's in there is mine.

Not for long, though. I'm going to pull it out on Wednesday. Felt too bad to do anything today and the bank closed early.

Then there won't be any GRAY fraud with my money, either! LOL!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Junky day - 12/31/07 10:31 PM
Okay.

I'm not feeling well at all today. I woke up with cramps so I stayed in bed a little longer.

I got up and still felt bad. Stomach is messed up. My hormones are jacking around with my emotions. I'm bloated and I feel shaky. Head hurts too.

This sucks.

So naturally I'm Negative Nellie. Well, I take that back. I'm trying to AVOID being Negative Nellie. I know what's causing my problem but I'm having trouble keeping on top of it anyway.

Mr. Gray. I'm thinking about him too much. I don't think I'll ever see Jonesy again. I'm trying to get my head around this so I can move on.

I shouldn't be thinking about him and when I do I try to change the channel. Not working. Well, it works for a short while, then it's back to thinking too much.

So I am here. I don't know or care what he is doing tonight. If we were together we'd be at home or I'd split time between my g'ma's and home so I would be there for the midnight thing.

For years I'd been trying to get him to go to a dance or something. He even bought a dress for me to go dancing in a few years ago. We just never went.

So I'm just blah. I'll feel better in a few days. I'm just down right now. And I won't even be able to toast the New Year tonight if I feel this way. NO alcohol! Toast with tea!

I'm also worried yet again about that dang package that finally came back to me the other day. I'll be taking mail to my Doberman this week and I'm taking that as well as a couple of letters I found in the file that are related to his DWI/Possession charge.

Oh, and his voter's registration card. Maybe he'll have a chance to vote in the primary election before his felony conviction.

But the package. It's not MY fault people don't pick up their packages but I will probably be blamed for it.

I feel bad about it, a little. How stupid is that? It's not MY responsibility!

So I'm having a dilemma about that and it's not helping me.

My Doberman has all the proof that I sent the package in plenty of time for it to be taken care of.

So it's not my fault. But I can't stop thinking about it!! And I doubt he'll say anything to her so there won't be any LB's on that end. At least not that SHE knows of.

I really hope I don't get blamed but I'm sure the alien will put me in the worst possible light. Hey! He wasn't even TALKING to me then!

What could I do?

And my Doberman approved it because it would be quicker. Well, it was supposed to be quicker, anyway.

I'm just going 'round and 'round here. I'm sorry.

I'll just take the dang thing over there and be done with it. I thought about not taking it there but I guess I kinda need to. I don't want it in my possession anyway.

I left it intact with her address on it and all of the marks of attempted delivery. And the "denied" stamp.

The letter I wrote is still in there.

So anyway, even being at home was kinda bothering me today. I packed up all the memories but they are still in the house in the spare room with 10,000 radios, antennas, microphones and other radio related stuff. Well, not 10,000 but it just seems that way.

Not a peep from the other side about the estate sale idea or the idea to sell a few rigs to help out DS and DIL.

The light at the end of the tunnel right now is my new house mate, I hope! I have to break her of her rap addiction and her feather pulling. I sure hope she gets to live with me!

It was so funny the other day...after she got on my hand and then on my shoulder for a while she was getting impatient and she bit the crap out of my hand. After I left my friend and drove back to my g'ma's, BOTH of my hands were bloody!

She hit a good vein in my hand. See? She LOVES me! LOL!

My aunt asked me if I leaned against the house and some of the old paint rubbed off. I'm like..."No, it's blood. Mine. I didn't kill anyone!!"

I guess I'll sign-off for now. I might be back to whine some more later so BRING PLENTY OF CHEESE!!!!

Happy New Year!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 01/03/08 04:00 AM
Okay.

I am feeling better today emotionally but physically I am still crapola.

I was talking to DIL and she said that Mr. Gray brought his adultery partner over to FIL's house for Christmas.

Surprised? Me? No. I suspected as much.

Then she tells me they are sharing an apartment.

Surprised? Me? No.

Since her parents own the house an disapprove of the affair it's no surprise at all.

That doesn't mean I am overjoyed about it but I am not surprised.

I have to make a delivery to my Doberman tomorrow. I am taking the package I was SO worried about to him so it can be forwarded to Gray.

Do I care, really? If he is mad? No. It wasn't my responsibility and if he forgot then it's his [censored].

I really find it hard to believe...that my husband has become such dogmeat.

Well, since I have learned so much here...it's not that it's hard to believe, just hard to swallow (?) I guess. I'd appreciate anyone's comments here.

Thank you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:04 AM
It does hurt, though. Even knowing all I know thanks to all of you here.

Sure it hurts. I'm not made of stone.

I can only surmise that everything will follow the natural course of Plan D, which was filed for protection, only.

Okay. So anything that's left will fund a trip to Europe for me, I suppose.

That will work just fine.

I'll just tell my Doberman to do whatever he wants now. Forget about delaying. What's the point? Really?

I don't want to be hurt anymore and he can stop it so that will be just fine.

And when Mr. Gray goes to jail I guess I'll scramble around to pay bills but I'll live.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:15 AM
Charlotte, I am so sorry that you're hurting. Tomorrow by the light of day think about this. Even though they're shacking up this is really good news. Why? Because now she'll have to meet all of his EN and reality will set in.

Why tell your lawyer to go forward? Don't do that. Wait. Wait. Wait. As to going to FIL's house, what do you think people REALLY thought about that?

I'm telling you Charlotte... be still. Don't rush anything.

I know it hurts. I've lived it.

(((Charlotte)))
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:32 AM
I was going to say something similar PM - glad you got here - Charlotte - read Mimi's threads from a few years ago - forced full time EN is a great thing to break up the affair. All of the disgusting things he does that you grew to tolerate because you really love him - she hasn't seen those yet because they've been in that fantasy. She probably snores - and whoa! wait til the make up comes off...

There are lots of recovery stories here - look up Leilana some time. She never posted what happened after her last exposure, but they are very much married, happily to this day, if you have any doubts. I think that last break down happened three years ago coming on four this August?? or is it only two? Anybody remember Leilana?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:34 AM
Thanks princess meggy!

I'll try. Of course I'm not happy about it although it isn't all bad because of the EN thing.

Plus the reason.

I don't know. I have to go there so I know I'll end up telling him about it.

I just don't know what to tell my Doberman anymore. The whole thing is just crap.

I don't want to waste his time. Or mine.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:37 AM
Thank you KaylaAndy.

I know you are right. And so is princess meggy.

I have to find a way to digest, I guess.

I knew she was going to tell me this but knowing she was going to tell me and actually hearing it are two different animals, I guess.
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:39 AM
Here's a link to her last post that I can find - then click on her name and see all her posts. You'll see a woman worth studying... Leilana's last post
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:43 AM
Thank you, KaylaAndy.

I'm gonna go read awhile now
Posted By: believer Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:49 AM
Oh, Charlotte - that is very good news that they are living together. That will end the affair that much sooner. Sorry you are feeling down.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:49 AM
Well, that was a short link. Was it the right one? I didn't quite get anything out of that one.

Maybe it's just me. Probably, yeah.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:52 AM
Thanks believer.

I hope so.

I've been pretty good so far. Even feeling better today since it's been over 2 weeks since I gave him the PBL.

Now? I'm just "blah."
Posted By: KaylaAndy Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:53 AM
Her story is scattered across many threads. That link gives you a link to a post by her, then you can click on her name and find every post she's written for 250 posts.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 05:00 AM
Thanks KaylaAndy.

I'll have to wait until I get on my pc at home. This one is not cooperating for some reason.

It lets me do certain things and not others. At least the one at home is consistent. It won't let me read my yahoo mail.

I can check it all I like. I just can't open any!

I'm going to read as much as I can of these threads you have turned me onto. I doubt I'll be sleeping very well.
Posted By: mimi_here Re: Update - 01/03/08 05:34 AM
Yep..it hurt when I found out that my H moved in with the OW..Wow,was I shocked..she lived in THE GHETTO..really..my H was scared..but he still moved there..even though he had bought a condo for his love nest.

They were TRYING to make it WORK.

It was the NAIL on the COFFIN of his affair.

She tried to play "wifey". She failed.

She couldn't keep up the BROADWAY PRODUCTION 24/7...

They were trying to lead a REAL life...

While I was moving on into my NEW HOUSE...

Not saying it will be the same for you..but DO NOT ASSUME THAT THIS IS A GOOD THING...

It's about them TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK...and, of course, it won't...
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Update - 01/03/08 06:01 AM
Charlotte, I know this is hard to hear, but it really is the beginning of the end. Affairs never pan out because the affairees are too selfish and entitled to make a successful marriage. Go read Dr. Harley's post in the divorcing forum to a man who is pursuing his AFFAIR with a married woman. It is DOOMED.

And now that they are living together, the fantasy will start collapsing even faster. I know it hurts, but it really only means the end of probably closer.
Posted By: aNewName Re: Update - 01/03/08 11:45 AM
I agree - it's definately the beginning of the end. My XH's affair was going on for 1.5 years before they moved in together. Then it all fell apart after 5 months. This is definately a positive thing. Keep your chin up.
Posted By: Jean36 Re: Update - 01/03/08 02:25 PM
I am another that agrees that their living together is great news. I always wished that my exWH and OW had moved into toegther, the affair would have ended sooner.

No only will this end the affair faster, but I believe it makes it easier for the WS to be done, once they are done. There are no romantic illusions left, they aren't wondering woulda, coulda, ahoulda. Once the A ends, the WS has no questions left about this unrequited love crap.

Don't aske your lawyer to speed up the divorce until you feel consistently the same for several months.
Posted By: usedtobelieve Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:50 PM
char,

don't give up stay the strong woman that filed for D because she knew her limits. you have to keep those limits. i know i am not a vet but i too am learning to keep my limits and have no contact and it isthe hardest thing i have ever had to do. i too have heard that they moved in together and it tears me up inside. i thought by now he would have wanted to come back so like you as the more time passes by the more worried i get sometimes. but then the light bulb comes on and i say to myself if he really wants to be with someone who is similar to me (we were mistaken for sisters numerous times) but has all the traits he hates such as being a smoker, not interested in public affection and a long sexual history (she doean't know her number but it's way more then 100 and he had a problem with my 10) then he really wasn't for me.

this too shall pass, you know it deep down but now it must be your mantra.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 01/03/08 04:57 PM
OK char your gonna smile damnit...even if I have to stand on my head and laugh so hard milk still comes out of my nose......gotcha didn't I....<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

So when we takin this road trip?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:21 PM
Thanks, mimi.

I thought a lot about your story when I heard. Especially with him leaving so much crap here. Someone brought your story up a couple of weeks ago.

Oh yeah, because I mentioned that he left so much crap here.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:27 PM
Hi Mel,

Thank you. I'm still hanging in there. The hardest part for me is the disgust I feel about his actions.

Even though I know it's Mr. Gray and not Jonesy.

Despicable, deplorable, disgusting. The three "D's."
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:31 PM
Thank you, aNN,

I'll sure try!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:33 PM
Thank you Jean36,

I like that idea. I hope it happens sooner rather than later.

I know I can't control it but I also know that she isn't ME.

That's what will pull Jonesy out of the muck, if there's any of him left.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:39 PM
Thank you, utb,

I agree. Especially with your last lines. I hate to think that he was really like that all along. I know he wasn't, but sometimes you wonder.

I'm just trying to keep disgust at bay. I'm glad I don't have to see him or talk to him at all.

And he knows that it will be the absolute END of anything between us. No being friends. Not even acquaintances.

His loss.

Maybe it's easy for him, though. I am wife #2, after all.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/03/08 07:41 PM
Maybe I'll smile later. I'd love to do the road trip. I don't see it happening for a little while, though so if you're itching you might as well scratch the itch and go without me.

My Mom is going to SF later this month for a bit to see bro and my nieces. I wouldn't mind going with her but there aren't enough of us to take care of my G'ma, so that's out.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Today - 01/03/08 08:03 PM
Yep. Still here. Not dead.

Been thinking about things. My deal is this:

I'll file these things away in the "I don't give a sh*t" file.

Then I'll move on. Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to do what it takes after Gray falls. Do I really want to help him pick up the pieces of his life?

Do I really want damaged goods back? I don't know, I'm always trying to fix things when they break. And I recycle.

I know I can do it. But will I want to?

Plus there's the guy I met. Clean slate. Am I tempted to say the heck with it and move on right now?

Sure. But it wouldn't be fair to me or the other person. I can't even be friends with him now because of the attraction between us. So I avoid contact. This sucks. But I'm not going to compromise my morals and values just because of Mr. Gray.

I'll be leaving here soon. I have to go see my shiny attorney and drop off the mail. I'll tell him the latest news if he's there and not in court. Who knows? Might even help my case.

Included with the mail will be the package that came back here that Gray needs to have taken care of.

If I can find that other letter I found in the file the other day I'll include that as well. I'm sure Gray has convinced himself that all will be hunky-dory as far as his DWI is concerned.

Well, he's fooling himself in that arena as well.

So there's a good chance he'll end up wifeless, jobless and with a felony record before that is all over.

Who's he gonna call? Ghostbusters?

He knows dang good and well I would have stood by him no matter what.

I guess he'll reap what he sows.

Meanwhile, I'm too busy to bother with him. I am still feeling better since the PBL and I expect this will continue on an upward trend.

I'm counting on it.
Posted By: RIF Re: Today - 01/04/08 02:37 PM
Hey Charlotte!

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

I caught up on all of your thread, but it looks like your H is moving in with the OW... I know this action hurts, but like the others said - This will help speed up the end of the A as they will now have to face "real life" issues together...

I'll be back on my normal night shift around the middle of the month...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Today - 01/04/08 03:30 PM
Hi Charlotte,

Just checking in and following your thread. Sorry you are hurting, but I really believe that what the others say is true. Moving in together is the beginning of the end.

Gee, think how it was when we first got married... We found out that they pee on the toilet seats, fart in bed and shove your head under the covers, snore, sleep on the couch when there's house work to be done, and all of that other unpleasant stuff. But we hung in there and forged a long term bond and eventually got used to all of that stuff because we were building a life together. And we were able to do it because we didn't have all of the baggage.

In the affair, when that stuff starts to happen they have to be thinking how the grass really isn't greener, and why are they giving up what they had only to get more of the same or worse. Plus, now they have baggage of an XS, kids, alimony, CS, and guilt. No wonder those things don't last.


Hang in there girlie...
Posted By: Miss M Re: Today - 01/04/08 04:25 PM
(((((((CHARLOTTE))))))))

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about your situation, and I've come to realize that when this happens to me God is calling me to prayer. So I prayed for you for quite some time last night.

Want you to know you are loved, you are WORTHY, and God is working in your life. I will continue to hold you up to the Lord in prayer.

Blessings,

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Today - 01/05/08 10:33 PM
*bump* for Charlotte...
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Today - 01/05/08 10:55 PM
Hi Charlotte, I just posted under your thread about updates, and then went to this one to read through to date. While out of state, I was only able to get to internet long enough to get emails. Puter was in someone's room and I didn't want to impose on their space other than for that.

I asked for a link to the update thread. I guess that I don't really need it, because of being able to follow this post up to date.

Comment: It seems to me that Plan B has protected your feelings and sanity and that you are doing really consistent with it. Rotten road to travel, but safest way to do it.

Loved your Gray/Slag dreams. Wish fulfillment!
Posted By: mopey Re: Today - 01/05/08 11:04 PM
That Ho is NOT better than you. She's a Ho until she is no longer a Ho, and stops her Hoish ways.

And THEN she'll have to apologize to you if she ever wants to be a repentent Ho.


{{{{{Charlotte}}}}}
Posted By: johnstwin Re: Today - 01/06/08 12:47 AM
((Charlotte))

Quote
Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to do what it takes after Gray falls.

We never know what we have the strength for until we are faced with the situation. Don't even worry about that right now.

When the [email]s@#&[/email] hits the fan, Gray will remember that you would have stood by him, but he chose to walk away. Let him stew in his own choices. God will do the basting.
Posted By: phoenix4 Re: Today - 01/06/08 03:01 AM
you CAN do this girl.
one day at a time..

((((((( charlotte ))))))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 07:57 PM
Hi phoenix,

I'm sure trying. It just gets to the point of "What's the point?" sometimes, yanno.

Then I hang around and read other's threads and the pain is so intense and there are others here who have their husbands living with their adultery partners and I can't deal. It's so disgusting.

I try to tell myself that it's the alien, Mr. Gray. I KNOW it is, he would never do this otherwise. But Jonesy gets farther and farther away. So I don't know.

I keep edging closer and closer to the "all bets are off" stage. I'm really close now. SCARY close.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:02 PM
I know you are right, johnstwin, and thank you for that. I know God will do the basting.

I'm sure he is right now. And though I shouldn't, I wonder if he even misses me at all. If Jonesy breaks through sometimes and thinks about me.

We didn't have a bad marriage...we didn't fight and argue all of the time. We complemented each other. (that is the correct spelling, right?)

So things got down in the dumps. I was ill, I was having problems with prescription meds that didn't help my depression or my thyroid at all.

I don't know. I've been thinking too much lately. I guess I should stop. But I can't. And I don't want to think to much because I don't want to get to that stage I was reading about in here on a thread earlier.

The stage of hate. Which is not good. I have always had the policy of NOT hating ANYONE. I don't want to start now.

So I'm just...I don't know. Other things are pulling me away, too.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:04 PM
Hi mopey,

I really appreciate that. And I used to think she was a decent person. Well, maybe she was before she started an affair with a married man and cheated on her sick hubby.

I don't know. I didn't know her all that well. Good, because it would have made the pain all that much worse. The fact that she wanted to pretend to be friends with me is bad enough.

I don't hate her. That doesn't mean I like her but I don't hate her. She's a fool for leaving her man. He's a great guy.
Posted By: mimi_here Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:05 PM
You're not talking to that other person that was interested in you, are you?
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:05 PM
C22, well though I didn't do Plan B, Harley says that it keeps what love you have for the WS from completely slipping away. Looking at this with a glass half full aproach, there is still hope to recover your M.

But only you know how much is too much.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:09 PM
Well, yes, mimi, I am,

But I have been avoiding him like the plague. I don't need that kind of thing right now and I promised the kids.

If there is anything then if it's that important it can wait until this is over.

I wouldn't want to subject the kids to the pain of me doing what their father is doing. Nor would I want to subject my friend to the pain of someone who is not quite done with her husband.

And I AM still married. That matters to me, even if it doesn't matter to Mr. Gray.

I won't go there. My conscience would never allow it.

I haven't seen the guy lately and the last time I did it was with other people around. It will stay that way or I won't see him. So I just avoid him altogether so it won't get into some situation that gets too complicated.

He knows all about what I'm trying to do, anyway. Who in their right mind would want to get entangled in such crap?

So, I'm safe.

But do I think about him? Yes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:15 PM
Thanks, Bellevue.

I appreciate you catching up on things and writing to me yesterday and today.

I am trying very hard to remember Jonesy. And how we used to be before all of this crap started.

I'm trying to hang on. I still have love for Jonesy.

I used to see him sometimes. Glimpses of him. Now it's just nothing. I haven't had the desire to call him or anything lately.

My DIL is SO mad at him. She doesn't want me to have anything to do with him at all. Well, I don't, but you know what I mean. She doesn't want me to wait or anything like that.

I told her I'm not waiting. I'm moving on. We don't even need to talk about him at all.

Of course he comes up occasionally. That is inevitable.

But I try to avoid it as much as possible.

Anyway, thanks again. I'll probably have a stand-alone post after I finish answering everyone who was so nice to help me hang on.

I just haven't felt up to talking much lately. I'm better now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:16 PM
Hi jayne!

Thank you for bumping yesterday! I was in and out but just didn't feel up to posting.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:19 PM
Thank you, Miss M,

I really appreciate your prayers!! I really needed them, even though the situation wasn't unexpected. It had been discussed between them before, after all.

I didn't think Gray would be foolish enough to do such a thing but I guess he needs the money, thanks to my Doberman. Well, that's his problem. I have the house and everything else here to take care of.

And the taxes to pay before February 1st.

It's not easy. I'm still playing catch-up with a few bills. But I won't starve, even if I have to use all of the money for bills.

I kinda wanted to use my Christmas money to start the flying lessons, though. I don't know if I can but I'm still going to try.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:25 PM
Hi Chai,

Thank you. I hope you are right. I don't really thing Slag would like to put up with his penchant for leaving snot rags all over the place all of the time.

I'm still picking those up from areas in the house!! Especially the areas I wasn't frequenting when he was still here.

I mentioned that to OWH a while back. He said something about people getting used to such things or something like that.

I didn't really have an answer after that. He was right.

Anyway, I'm still trying to hang in there but it's so hard. It was a GIANT LB, even though it was not unexpected.

Well, hope she enjoys his snoring. It's NO picnic! He can get really loud and I have asked him again and again to ask the doctor about it, because I have read a lot about it and it worries me.

But of course, like a lot of men, and my mom and grandma, getting them to go to the doctor is like trying to pull and elephant's teeth with a set of tweezers!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 08:31 PM
Hi RIF!!

I don't know if you'll find this or how often you are checking in but it was really great to "see" ya'!!!

Made me feel better.

I'm still hanging on, trying to hang on. I need to stop reading too much here, I guess.

Starts to make me doubt things, sometimes. And not want to wait around for a long time. But I am not giving up yet. Even though I feel like it sometimes.

Sometimes I just want to say the heck with it, all bets are off. If it wasn't for divine intervention, I would have already done so.

But then I remember all of the things that happened and I just can't. I know I'm in the right place and doing the right thing.

I know there are no quick fixes. It's just hard in B when I can't even communicate just a little.

Not that I'd want to now, of course!!!

I can only hope that Jonesy is still in there somewhere, for HIS sake. He won't live long if Mr. Gray is at the wheel.

Mr. Gray will kill them both. Literally.
Okay,

I had a good, long talk with my Doberman the other day. I told him the latest news.

I told him that I didn't know how much longer I wanted to drag this out.

He said that I have to be ready and he didn't want to rush things because he feels that Mr. Gray owes me. He is right. How could I not agree?

So we are continuing on the original path that I requested of him in the very beginning.

He is going to call opposing counsel in a couple of weeks or so and find out what is going to happen with inventory, etc. I may call him and just tell him to wait until there is noise from op before anything is done.

Even though having these things here is a detriment to me because they are here. I just avoid that side of the house again...unless I'm having connection problems.

But as far as moving forward any more quickly with the D? No. We are not going to do that.

I can't help but question my sanity sometimes. Sometimes I think...well...out of sight...out of mind. Gray doesn't give a rat's a-- about me anymore. Or does he?

I don't know. Jonesy was peeping out the last time we had contact.

That's why it killed me so much to have to go into B. But it was the right thing to do. Mel was absolutely right. And so were all of you.

I just have a problem with thinking too much. Sometimes I really wish I was that old cliche, a dumb blonde. Nevermind that the blonde has to darken my roots out of a bottle these days!!!

I still have my shirt that says, "I had a nightmare that I was a blonde!!!"

So anyway, I brought the package that came back that I tried to send to Slag's to my Doberman to send to Gray.

It will be my fault even though it really wasn't. It's not my problem. I didn't have to do ANYTHING. But he will blame it on me.

I just know it. It will be the nail in the coffin of us.

But I tried. I really did try. What could I do? He wasn't talking to me at the time. The info HAD to be sent. Or not, since it wasn't my deal. I guess I just should have given everything to my Doberman instead of sending it myself.

Even though I covered my a--, though, and it was Doberman approved, I know he'll blame me. I just know it.

This is the big problem I'm having right now. Worrying about that stupid package again.

As much as I'd like to, I will not go and read his blog. He's probably updated it by now, maybe, and he surely will after he gets the package.

But I'm not going. Dobie's taking care of it so that's that. Am I tempted to look? Sometimes. But I know he's checking so I don't.

Well, he'll surely hate me forever now.

So I guess my next plans, aside from flying lessons, are...I think I'll go to Europe after the settlement. My sister said she wants to go and that would be really fun. So if there's anything left after the bill collectors take their money, that's what I'm going to do.

And ballroom dancing. I tried for a long time to get Mr. Gray to take lessons with me. Or at least go out dancing and fake it, if necessary. But we never did. Even though he bought me the perfect dress for it, all on his own!!!

Then when I was monitoring them with the keylogger at one point...what do I see? Him telling HER he'd go dancing with HER...anywhere, anytime.

So what am I supposed to do?

Okay, so I'm in a holding pattern right now. I guess we'll see what the next few weeks and months bring.
Posted By: mimi_here Re: Today - 01/06/08 09:03 PM
Quote
But do I think about him? Yes.


Why?

Focus on YOURSELF.

I've been reading that you know how to do that.

You would be USING him and he would be USING you...since you are not finished with your husband...and you are a MARRIED woman...

Stinkin thinkin...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 09:09 PM
You're right, mimi.

I KNOW this.

Which is why I have been staying away. Because of course, there are the inevitable comparisons between him and Mr. Gray. And he makes Mr. Gray look like, well, less than a man.

I know it is disaster, so I just won't go there at all. But yes, "stinkin' thinkin"."

Mr. Gray is NOT Jonesy, though. That is what stops me. But will Jonesy ever be seen again? That is what makes me wonder.

I don't know. I'm not supposed to care. So I change the channel when I start to think about Jonesy, whether I'm thinking about Jonesy or I'm thinking about Mr. Gray.

Either way is too painful.

I guess I just need help.

Save me.

Bash me over the head with many, many 2x4's.

Please?!
It will be my fault even though it really wasn't. It's not my problem. I didn't have to do ANYTHING. But he will blame it on me.


He will blame HIS failure to take care of things HE is responsible for on you...is that it?

Well, as long as you continue to think that...and fret about it...he has you dancing like a marionette.

Maybe that is part of the problem...he has never had to endure the consequences of his actions because you have been there to take care of it for him.

He will FOREVER continue in this thinking until he is FORCED to accept responsibility for his bad choices.

It will be the nail in the coffin of us.

Says who? You? Him?

If you are thinking it is him...why would you want that man back anyways?

He has addictions charlotte. As long as he does, he is of no use to anyone. Do not give him so much power.

committed
Posted By: mimi_here Re: Today - 01/06/08 09:32 PM
Quote
Because of course, there are the inevitable comparisons between him and Mr. Gray.


You don't want to be like MR. GRAY, do you? Sounds like what the Wayward does..make comparisons to the wifey..YUCK...

This is YOUR MEANS of dealing with YOUR PAIN..not you starting a HEALTHY, NORMAL RELATIONSHIP with someone...

Quote
And he makes Mr. Gray look like, well, less than a man.


Of course, ANYTHING will look wonderful compared to MR. GRAY..so you are seeing an ILLUSION..you are not seeing that OTHER MAN for what he REALLY IS...sounds familiar doesn't it?

Quote
Save me.


You are going through WITHDRAWAL. You can understand what the FWS experiences after NO CONTACT..IT IS HARD, I know..you are missing your husband, yearning for him..

But I have noticed that you are on the right track..keep searching to find a NEW ADVENTURES/EXPERIENCES to keep you busy...to past the time away..I tried all sorts of stuff..nothing worked that well but I did stay busy..
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Today - 01/06/08 10:44 PM
Yeah, I know.

The comparison thing...I thought about that the minute I was thinking about it, or when I do. I know what's going on.

I also know that this person isn't an illusion, as much as I wish him to be. THAT is why I stay away. Far away.

I am not going to do that. And yes, I have been doing a lot of other things, not just thinking about Mr. Gray and the lack of Jonesy in my life.

I'm going to tour the culinary school in February. Now last night my sister tells me that my brother wants me to move in with them and go to school there.

So I'm thinking about that. The only reason I wouldn't do it is because I don't want to be around when the big one hits so I'd go on faith that it wouldn't, but if it did I'd do everything in my power to make sure that my nieces make it to safety.

Yeah, I miss Jonesy a lot. I don't miss Gray AT ALL.
You're right, committed.

ITA with your whole post. I just wish he'd get the thing already so I can deal with the fallout, if any, and have it done.

He may call or email in a rage...or he may do nothing at all. I'll just feel better about it in a few days. When I know that it's probably arrived. Monday or Tuesday is my guess.

And yes, he needs to take responsibility. He may even recognize that, given that he's had a couple of lucid moments here and there.

I should never have taken care of any of that to begin with. I should never have sent that other paperwork that he forgot about in August.

That was the day I got really sick, too. I could barely write, I could barely STAND, but I was determined to get it taken care of.

3 hours later I was puking my guts out and I couldn't walk 5 or 10 feet without getting so dizzy I had to sit down before I fell down and then I threw up some more.

Even when I was lying still...if I moved as much as a finger, I threw up. It went on for the rest of the night into the next day.

Some of it was the situation, some was a result because I hadn't been eating right and I used up my last strength, I guess.

I was really afraid that I might end up hospitalized. Jonesy made an appearance and wanted to take care of me but I couldn't walk with or without help because of the nausea.

It was bad. That has never happened to me before so it could only be because of what was going on. Anyway, sorry for rambling on again.

Thank you again for your post!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Plan B - 01/07/08 01:25 AM
Okay. Charlotte's Plan B:

I am calling my dentist tomorrow for some much needed dental work. I really need a root canal. I no longer fear those. I have a really good dentist.

Then I am calling to set up the discovery flight. I wanted to wait and talk to my dentist since he is a pilot but I am going forward. If it is set up before I see him, then so be it. I can still talk to him after the fact and see if he has an opinion on whether I should go with this particular flight school or not.

February is touring the culinary school.

March? Who knows? Getting the garden going for sure, depending on the groundhog in February.

April? Well, if all goes according to plan so far, April is when we have to go back to court. My Doberman intends to make sure that Gray takes care of me.

May? My birthday and our anniversary. Since my Doberman intends to get all he can for me out of Mr. Gray and not rush things unless I give him the okay...I can assume that there won't be any final things taking place.

In any case I have to make sure they don't occur on my birthday or our anniversary.

So...right now I can only assume that Gray intends to continue on his deadly path and there will be NO Jonesy. This hurts really bad but I have to accept it.

And that is why I am making plans. It is what will happen regardless. If Jonesy shows up...GREAT! It won't change the plan.

My sister said she'd accompany me to Europe. She doesn't want to go on the Queen Elizabeth II, though. So I'll have to talk to her about that.

I want to go to New York and hang around for a few days and check it out before leaving. I've always wanted to go...I've even had dreams about it over the years. Before the tragedy of 911 and after.

Jonesy had been through there and always said, well, I've never been there, but blah blah. I'd always hoped we could go together.

So I'll be going alone...or with my Sis. Possibly DIL. She wants to go but I guess it depends on how old DGS is and if he can go or not. Maybe DS25...soon to be 26...can take care of him. We'll see.

So that's my plan now.

I'm still considering my Bro's offer, though. To go to school in SF.

I talked to BIL earlier. I've been trying to get in touch with him for DD...he was going to co-sign so she could get a car.

He called me this a.m. but I didn't get the call. So I called him back. He called again this evening. So I called him again.

He finally answered. I'm sure he thought it was about Mr. Gray. Well...NOT!!! LOL!!!

So I talked to him for a little while.

I get to take care of DGS when they all go to some monster truck jam. BIL, DIL and DS25...who will be DS26 by then! LOL!

I guess some people just can't handle getting older. Whatever. I don't feel old. I tried to help Gray in that arena but he just couldn't be helped. State of mind, Son, state of mind.

Well, I'm gonna go finish that homemade fried chicken now. Mashed taters. Too bad Jonesy isn't here. His loss.

I cut the dickens out of my finger on my ulu earlier. I wasn't even cutting the chicken then. I was just washing the darn thing.

I'll live. I used the good remedy...black pepper to get the blood to clot and to kill all the infection baddies. It works, too!

TTFN!

Charlotte
Posted By: myfamilyilove Re: Plan B - 01/07/08 01:46 AM
Hi Charlotte,

No advice - just want to lend my support. I have gone to Plan B also. Yes its hard but its all we can do. My WW hates Plan B!

All the best
Vladie
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Plan B - 01/08/08 08:47 PM
HI Charlotte
I was just thinking of you and wanted to see how you were doing.

Hope you are doing well.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 01/08/08 08:51 PM
Hi Vladie!!

Thank you so much for your support!! I hope Plan B is going okay for you, it's getting a little better here. Still some ups and downs but I'll live!

I don't know if Mr. Gray hates it or not. I know I'm not supposed to care. He has made tiny noises but that's about it.

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Plan B - 01/08/08 09:11 PM
Hi MicheleG,

What a coincidence! Or perhaps not! I was just about to hunt my thread down for to post, I was waiting for virus update to finish.

Then I come in and it's almost at the top! LOL! Thanks for finding it for me!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I have been praying for guidance a lot.

Today I feel like a page has turned. I haven't quite figured out why I am feeling this.

I decided to check out the bank account earlier and it looks like Gray's bonus must have gone through. For some reason the bank has the deposit on hold. I don't know why. Maybe he actually wrote a check this time. Two different holds, too. Confusing.

So that leaves this week's paycheck and his half of the money for the taxes by month's end.

I am really hoping that there won't be a problem with this but I am a little worried about it.

My first thought on seeing that he had deposited the money was..."well, no wonder there hasn't been any noise about the inventory lately...he has plenty of money!" LOL!

Phew! I can get new tires now! Yay!

I can help out DS26 and DIL! Yay!

Maybe I can get a Doberman now! Yay! I know I'd feel better at night with a Dobie instead of that shotgun. Oh yeah, and my Klingon knife, LOL!!!

I have to be real careful, though. Can't go nuts on a "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" spending spree!! I might need the money to survive if Gray ends up in jail!

I really wish I could be there for that next month for moral support, but I know I can't.

So anyway, I feel different today. I think I'm finally starting to accept that I really may never see Jonesy again. That we'll go our separate ways and that will be it. He knows how I am when I boycott something, after all. He knows I mean what I say.

Not that I'm boycotting him...well, I guess I really am, huh?! I just didn't think about that particular word.

I'm doing some cleaning today, I have to take care of my g'ma tomorrow. My mom is going out of town soon so I wanted to get caught up.

I think I'm going to start to catalog things here to make the job easier for inventory.

The photographer, as far as I know, was going to take pictures. I have no idea if she was going to make a list or anything. So I thought I could at least do that, or heck, even start taking them myself.

I'm just going to start doing that and run it by my Doberman later. It would certainly be easier if I did it because there is SO much to do that there is no way it can be done in a day.

Last night I was thinking about suggesting they do it in phases but I think I'll go ahead and take the bull by the horns and do this.

Anyway, I feel better today and I'm hoping it continues for a little while at least.

I know the roller-coaster ride is far from over, though, so I'm sure the dips will continue. Just maybe not as deep?

I still hold a place in my heart for Jonesy...I really hope he will come back and stake his claim again someday. I am not going to hold my breath though. I think it's probably really over.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Just wondering.... - 01/08/08 09:45 PM
I have been wondering...not all of the time, but in the beginning and lately I've been wondering again about the fact that Mr. Gray was married before.

He knows what will happen with all of this. The big difference here, though is that I am the one that filed.

He knows what it's like to go through it, though and no matter who files first...it doesn't make it any less painful.

But that's not what I was going to ask first...I am wondering...how much do you think I really matter to him?

I am his second wife. Granted our marriage has been longer than his first, but I am second.

This didn't bother me in this context until the A started, of course.

But I've been thinking about it lately because over the last few days I was thinking too much again.

Our marriage wasn't a bad marriage. It was really just stagnant. I wanted to do something but I didn't know what to do so I figured, well, we'll come out of this sometime.

About 2-3 months before D-day I suggested we go to counseling...just to get us out of the rut.

I guess it's too bad we didn't go. I don't remember why, now. He was open to it, then.

There were only two of us in our marriage, then.

So anyway, please excuse my rambling...I meant to ask about this a couple of days or so ago but I never got around to it.

Thanks in advance for any input!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just wondering.... - 01/08/08 09:53 PM
Adding:

That doesn't change what I posted earlier...I still feel like a page has turned today.

But it is something I have been curious about so I thought I'd throw it out there so I don't have to think about it anymore.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 01:01 AM
Charlotte, thinkin' about coulda, shoulda's will drive you
crazy, IMO, the A was festering long before you found out.
I had these thoughts when I knew me & FWH were in trouble. He was receptive to counseling, but wasn't too into it. Now I know why. And about the Doberman. Don't...my last one would have given me up for a few slices of bologna. The dog was good for appearances, but waaay too friendly. Aussies
and the larger terrier breeds (who don't shed, maybe minimally) would make a better companion and natural guradian. Dobes are sensitive to your being gone away from them, they want your undivided attention, but if you love being loved like that, go for it. I'm sure mine probably would have pulld thru for me in a crunch, he was never tested, but was a superchicken when a storm moved thru.
Aussies are great, very protective, but friendly at the same time. The perpetrator would never think something so cute and furry would grab their calf.The Aussie will be your friend one day, but if you come in unvited the next.....pertains to visitors only. Be ready to do some serious grooming for these guys.You want a naturally protective dog, not one you trained to be so, you get into insurance problems with that. But, hey!!!Everyone needs a Furpal!! GF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 01:49 AM
Hi GF!!

Thanks for your reply.

The first time I brought up counseling with Gray, we searched for one, but half-heartedly. Some of this was my fault because I was so messed-up because of my thyroid with depression and pills, I just didn't have the strength.

I think if we had gone then, we would have been helped.

The second time it was brought up the A was on. I knew he only wanted to go to make me feel better and try to get rid of me, so I refused. He wanted to have counseling with his physician, for Pete's sake!

Some bs about how the guy could help or whatever. I don't know if this is true or not. I almost went to see him for my thyroid problem for another opinion, but I never did. Gray started seeing him after the local doc here that he trusted decided to retire early.

So the 2nd time...I knew it wouldn't do any good. I hadn't found MB yet, but I knew. Even if I had been able to find someone neutral, I knew it would do no good. So I opted for IC when I could finally pick myself up off of the floor and try to function again.

But I didn't want Gray talking to him. I never asked and he never asked, although the IC did.

As for Dobermans...yes, I do want one. We had two at different times when I was growing up and they were both tested!

I like their style. And their method of "kill." LOL!

Our cousin was living with us when we had Sir Gillis and he forgot his key and tried to climb in the window...NOT!!

Even though Gillis knew him and knew he lived there he absolutely would NOT let my cousin in!! It was so funny!!!

He had another test because there was a former friend of the family visiting and he had a gun. I don't know whose gun it was but he shouldn't have had his hands on it and he was not respecting it as a weapon.

Well, Gillis nearly had him by the throat...if my mom hadn't had her hand wrapped around his collar, that would have been IT for that guy. Or very nearly, depending on if we would have been able to staunch the flow of blood.

I don't think that fool ever realized how close to death he was.

So yeah, I love all dogs and we almost always have mixed breed dogs and I had thought about adopting but I really, really would love another Doberman.

Thanks for telling me about the Aussie dogs, though. I'm trying to keep my options open but I can see where I'm probably headed!! LOL!
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 07:05 AM
Hi Charlotte (any other experts too!)

I see you are online right now, and jalynnsprouts over on EN is in crisis, she just found out and I don't know if she is in a position to figure out where this board is. Can you please look in on her thread?

Please, I'm not a troll and I'm not "stalking" telling ppl to post to other threads! I'm posting to your thread because I see you are online right now... and I'd rather not start a brand new thread on GQ as a shout-out...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 09:06 AM
Hi jayne...I just got this, I'm so sorry! I had the window minimized in my toolbar while I was working on the pc.
Posted By: The_411 Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 08:32 PM
Hi Charlotte,

I had to stop by and checking things out. Looks like you are doing well so far. There are some interesting developments however.

I do have some questions for you as there seems certain behaviors that lead to beleive that there is some deeper going on with Mr. Gray which may make things a little clearer for you.

I'll send you an e-mail this evening.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 08:41 PM
Hi 411!

Thank you! I've been meaning to send you an email to see how your were doing but I've been a little busy.

I almost made it last night but I had to send my Doberman an update and it ended up being so long that it was time to go to bed by the time I finished!

Have a great day!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Just wondering.... - 01/09/08 09:24 PM
**CHAR** I think your right....when xh first left I found my pound puppy she was a belgian Malinois mix.....I loved her I was so sad when we had to give her up. My Xh was furious we got a dog.....I just looked at him and said well someone had to take your spot on the bed.....

But i do want a pure bred Malinois...they use them for police work alot now a days...they are nicknamed alligators for a reason....muhahaha....we have a few on our search and rescue team as well excellent drive and fast. I was looking into a few rescue groups and found a big boy named Mac....who is excellent with kids. I am thinking about it...a dog keeps me active and is my running partner. And with my moms dog out of commision (we just found out he has cancer) I don't go running because in our town I won't go without a dog. I miss my scouty.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Just wondering.... - 01/11/08 08:52 AM
Hi SIHW!!

Thanks for dropping in!

nicknamed alligators, I love it!!

Yeah, I keep thinking about getting a Doberman, I haven't done anything about it yet, though! Been pretty busy!

I'll have to block off a time when I can, I guess. I'm going to be super busy with this inventory for a while!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 01/11/08 09:00 AM
Well,

I was in IM with DIL again earlier. She told me Mr. Gray is taking DS to a movie on Saturday. Which means he'll be in town. So I'm going to bug out.

He told DS to bring his mail. Yeah, whatever! I already brought his mail to my Doberman. Too, too bad, Gray!

He doesn't get much mail so I can't imagine that anything of substance will come in by then.

Like I'd go anywhere near DS & DIL's that day to take it there!

I don't know why he's so interested in his mail all of a sudden. I've been keeping up with it just fine. I had to make two drops with my Doberman since the PBL. It takes at least two weeks for it to be enough.

And the bills come to me to take care of, as stipulated in the agreement, so what the heck?

Oh well, I guess I'll be fretting until I know the coast is clear.

Dang! I am feeling so much better and then I have to hear this. Now I am bothered!!

Besides, if he wants to ask me for his mail he's supposed to ask my intermediary, isn't he?

Dang it!

I guess I'll go to sleep now. Maybe. I was talking to bro and sis again in their respective states in IM.

We didn't do a conference like we did Wednesday night, though. That was a blast!!!

Funny, the best UFO's I've ever seen are the ones I've seen when the three of us were together. Well, no one was checking the skies outside, but then I found out that the real alien will be lurking about on Saturday.

LOL!
Posted By: Orchid Re: Update - 01/11/08 09:08 AM
C22,

It's getting for me out here.... howa' been? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Looks like you and your doberman have things in check. So the Ws thinks he can control the doberman? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

That mail may have some bite marks in them when he picks them up. LOL!!!

Keep strong. Ws' hate when the BS displays such control and power. Your real H though w/b impressed. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

take care,

L.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/11/08 05:36 PM
Hi Orchid!

LOL!! Teeth marks!! Awwww, that's cute!

Yeah, Gray will have teethmarks elsewhere, too, if he messes with my Doberman. Or me for that matter.

He be cruisin' for a bruisin'. Or cruisin' or a chewin'!!! LOL!


I'm not ecstatic about this newest development at all. It feels like he is trying to encroach on my Plan B.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 01/11/08 05:41 PM
Quote
I'm not ecstatic about this newest development at all. It feels like he is trying to encroach on my Plan B.

That's exactly what he's doing. Warn your DL and DS about it so they don't end up carrying messages for him to you, ok?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/11/08 06:31 PM
Thanks mojo!!!

I'll do that.

Do I need to send another copy of the letter through my Doberman the next time I make a mail run? Or a note asking him to please honor my request? Or call my intermediary so she can reiterate the conditions of the PBL?

I guess I shouldn't write a personal note. That would be a fix for him, probably. I've been very careful when I'm in IM to make myself invisible to him. I can't delete myself from his end and I know he still has me in his IM.

I just changed his name to my Doberman's Dinner so I don't get upset seeing it there...I see what it is now and have a little chuckle, if I even look at it at ALL.

The only bad thing is when I get bumped offline and IM automatically logs back in, it logs in to visible mode even though it's set to invisible.

I don't even want him to have the tiniest fix he'd get from seeing me log in and out.

I guess I'm going overboard? Nah. I blocked myself in gmail too, like a kind poster showed me. Thank you! I can't remember who it was at the moment.

So, if he logs in there he sees nothing now. And I deleted his name so I don't get freaky.

Anyway, rambled on too much again! Sorry!
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 01/11/08 07:01 PM
No, don't send another letter. This would only let him know you got wind of his manueverings and that its agitated you.

You only send the PBL when he actually attempts to confront YOU or begins harrassing you in other ways. At least that's my opinion. Never give the WS any ounce of evidence that you are thnking or waiting for them. You sit and let them stew wondering what YOU are up to.

I know others may not agree, but in a few weeks, I'd allow things to slip like.... oh, ordering yourself flowers and making sure your DS and DL see them. Do your list you have, that's wonderful and I was so happy to see it. And when you do have time, get yourself that little Deberman puppy.

You might want to consider joining a local book club or somthing like that. Start branching out SOCIALLY, not just solo. Word gets back to Wses mighty quick and boy do they hate that!
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 01/14/08 09:31 AM
Hey Charlotte,

I haven't seen you around for a couple of days and just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going...

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 01/18/08 03:55 AM
Are you ok?
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 01/18/08 11:18 AM
Hey Charlotte - How are things going for you?

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dobie Re: Update - 01/18/08 04:26 PM
Quote
I just changed his name to my Doberman's Dinner so I don't get upset seeing it there...I see what it is now and have a little chuckle, if I even look at it at ALL.

Just the thought of it gives me indigestion!

Hope you're doing well.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/19/08 08:28 PM
Quote
Just the thought of it gives me indigestion!

Hope you're doing well.


LOL, Dobie!!

Yeah, even so, I STILL had to put a muzzle on my Doberman, he wants his dinner SO badly!!! And who knows? In the end, he may end up having it. But that's not my choice. Only Mr. Gray's.

I'm doing just fine right now. Thanks for asking! I'm busy with inventory. I gave my Doberman my word that I would take care of it so I am.

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/19/08 08:30 PM
Hi RIF!

Great to see ya'!!

I'm doing really well but I'm busy, busy, busy!!

Tonight I am watching DGS so DS & DIL can go out. It's the first time they're going out alone since DGS was born.

I'll be back in with a longer update later.

Thanks for asking, RIF!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/19/08 08:31 PM
Hi cinderella!

Thank you for checking in on me!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Miss M Re: Update - 01/20/08 05:40 AM
Miss M patiently waiting.

Arms crossed, tapping foot...well????

Love in Christ,
Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

PS.(((((hugs!!!!!)))))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/20/08 07:44 AM
LOL Miss M!!

Just got back from taking care of DGS. I guess the update will be later today, LOL!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 01/20/08 04:24 PM
Hey Charlotte!

It's good to see you again... we were starting to worry about you after you were away from the boards for a couple of days...

Glad to see that you're doing well and I look forward to reading your update!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/24/08 12:59 AM
Hi RIF!

Thanks! I picked up a bug so that successfully put me out of commission for a few days!

I've been pretty busy otherwise so any plans I have are on hold until I get a good handle on this inventory here.

Naught from Mr. Gray. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never speak to him again as long as I live. I wish I could be more upset, maybe later I will be but right now I'm just not.

If he wants to ruin his life, fine. He's not ruining mine along with it. Ruining my credit was enough.

Anyway, I'm usually one of three places these days. Home, my g'ma's or my Doberman's. We decided that it would be best to do the inventory in phases since there is so much of it, rather than all at once. That way the appraisers can work on one phase while I ready the next.

I have a pretty good set-up for it, forgive me if I've already mentioned this! We have some professional lighting that was sitting around unused for at least 3 years so I broke that out for the pictures.

I'm thinking that as I get done with a phase I will move it out into a warehouse and Gray can pick it up from there. That way I can shovel the rest of his manure in along with it. But AFTER the inventory, not during.

It will be a lot of work, especially if I end up having to rent a warehouse out of town. The warehouse needs to be climate-controlled, so it may end up being out of town. But at least then I won't have to worry about any contact with Mr. Gray.

My Doberman likes that idea, too, but would prefer that Gray pay for half of the rent. We'll see if that comes to pass. I'm not that worried about it. I can just say I want to rent it for "x" amount of months, give Dobie the key, he gives it to Gray, and Gray picks up the stuff or not. If he hasn't picked it up by the time the lease is up that's not my problem.

So anyway, flying is on hold until a little later...of course the weather isn't all that conducive for flying at the moment, not for me, anyway!

I also want to take some dance lessons; I was thinking ballroom, DIL says Salsa...it doesn't really matter to me. It's something I've been wanting to do for years but never have. I think it will be good for exercise and a lot of fun. There used to be a lot of dances around our little town but not so much anymore. Polka, polka, polka!!! Now only once or twice a year or so.

So as of this point I'm looking at personal recovery only and I'm fine with that. I keep waiting to break down and get upset but it's not happening. I don't think Gray gives a rat's a-- what I do anymore and I'm not going to waste time grieving over someone who can treat someone like trash and walk away like nothing. I deserve better and so do the kids. Unfortunately they are linked biologically to him and nothing can be done about that. But I'm not. I already told them I'd be there for them no matter what happens.

Well, that's all I have at the moment!

TTFN!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 01/24/08 04:41 PM
Quote
........ I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never speak to him again as long as I live. I wish I could be more upset, maybe later I will be but right now I'm just not.
Quote


Belle here. I forgot how to use the quote thing. Commenting that you aren't as affected because you're protecting your emotions in Plan B.

I'm thinking that as I get done with a phase I will move it out into a warehouse and Gray can pick it up from there. That way I can shovel the rest of his manure in along with it. But AFTER the inventory, not during.

[color:"purple"] How inconsiderate of you. Why, Gray will have to dig through the manure to reach the valuables. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I see you coming out of this smelling like a rose.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/25/08 07:50 PM
Quote
Belle here. I forgot how to use the quote thing. Commenting that you aren't as affected because you're protecting your emotions in Plan B.


Thanks, Bellevue!

So that's it, eh? Because I am really starting to question myself here. It's almost like I don't miss him at all. I don't miss him at night, I don't miss him during the day. There was a time that I was sure I would never be able to stay in our home if we split up, but I haven't been having that problem at all. I'm enjoying myself there.

Of course, 99.999% of our memories are packed away, so I'm sure that helps. But even so...

Quote
How inconsiderate of you. Why, Gray will have to dig through the manure to reach the valuables.


LOL!!! That's a funny thought! Well, I'll leave the shovel on top to make it easier for him. Make that a garden trowel. A shovel is too easy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Quote
I see you coming out of this smelling like a rose.


Thank you, Belle! I can see that happening as well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 01/25/08 07:59 PM
a teaspoon and a tweezer .........
Posted By: Dancing_Machine 6th week of Plan B tomorrow... - 01/25/08 08:25 PM
Well,

Tomorrow marks the 6th week of Plan B. Everything is going well, even though I was sick for a few days. Now I'm back up kicking and working on inventory. I'll have a good report to turn in next week to my Doberman. Then the appraisers can get started, finally.

I don't know what Mr. Gray will think about it and I don't care, really. It's going to get done. Maybe he thinks I can't handle it. Well I can. And I have people in my corner who believe in me as well. So it will be like "The Little Engine That Could" as far as inventory goes.

I'm sure, if anything, it will add a sense of finality for him, especially if I go ahead with the warehouse idea.

Anyway, still puzzling a bit over my attitude here. I guess I shouldn't complain. Every day I read how painful it is for others in Plan B and otherwise. I don't know...maybe there was a larger chunk removed from my Love Bank than I first thought.

I am enjoying the positive attention I have been getting when I do go out and about, which isn't often, but sometimes. I still remember being so down that I couldn't even really look strangers in the eye. Now I'm back to where I used to be and I can smile and be friendly and elicit a laugh here and there and it feels good. And it feels genuine.

I usually take the opportunity to shop a bit after I have to see my Doberman because there are much better places around there than in our tiny town. So last time I spent some money on myself and I refuse to feel bad about it!!

For a long time it was just money for supplies for home. Well, I bought a few new clothes and finally made it to the 1/2 price bookstore to restock some good reading material. Since I was sick, though, I may need to go there again soon!

Other than that, I have been behaving very nicely. There are times when I wonder if Mr. Gray thinks about me at all. Then I'm like...well, probably. But so what? By the time he wakes up it may very well be too late.

I don't know. I'm not sure what I'd do or say if he suddenly showed up and said he wanted to save us. I'd be terrified of trusting him, that's for sure. So I wouldn't. Especially since I had that dream where he tried to trick me.

At any rate, it's all out of my hands now. I have given it over to God to take care of and I pray for guidance in this and also pray for all of the hurting souls on this board a LOT. I still need help and guidance but I am forging ahead and helping myself...that's the right thing, isn't it?

Well, I guess I'll sign-off now before this gets too long. Oops! Too late!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/25/08 08:26 PM
Quote
a teaspoon and a tweezer .........


ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 01/26/08 01:41 PM
Hey Charlotte!

Sorry that I missed your update.... You sound like you're doing very well! Good for you!!!

I hope that Mr. Gray pulls his head out of the sand before its too late... but regardless, YOU are going to do great!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: The_411 Re: 6th week of Plan B tomorrow... - 01/29/08 07:46 PM
Charlotte,

Sounds like you're doing great!
The not missing thing is interesting. It sounds like you're a very mentally healthy indidvidual which is why you're doing so well.

However, just be a bit careful because sometimes you'll be hit out of the blue and be really down.

Doesn't mean you nee to lvie being weary but rather cogniscent that you maybe have a few down days here and there that are yet to come.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/30/08 06:47 AM
Hi RIF!!!

Thanks! I'm getting better every day!!

I don't know what will happen with Mr. Gray but I get farther and farther away each day that passes.

I think that he may get yet another dose of reality when my Doberman gets Phase I of inventory this week to send to the appraiser.

I wouldn't be surprised if Gray makes noise about that since I'm obviously SUPPOSED to be wicked and vengeful since I was wronged. Yeah, whatever. I could have done a thousand things to him and his stuff before. I'm not like that.

If anything, he will b&m because I am TOUCHING his things or something stupid like that.

I don't care. My Doberman has my back so I'm not worried in the least. Besides, if I don't do this, no one else will be able to. HE couldn't even do it...if I wasn't in B and we were communicating.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 6th week of Plan B tomorrow... - 01/30/08 07:01 AM
411!!

That is so cool...earlier today I was thinking about you because you haven't been around here in a while. Then when I checked in here earlier I saw that you had posted.

I only just now had a chance to drop in here for a minute. I've been eating, sleeping, breathing & living INVENTORY!!!

It's coming along nicely. I think my Doberman is going to be very pleased with Phase I. I've been using a little trick he taught me so it's been even easier than I expected.

Yeah, I'm still waiting to be down. I'm sure there have to be some days coming. But yeah, I'm not looking for them. I'll just have to distract myself somehow if I feel one coming on. Like I did last month when my hormones were out of whack.

I'm fortunate and very, very blessed to have such a wonderful support system in people here as well as the physical realm.

My DIL is my best friend now. We are on the same wavelength a LOT, but I've noticed that with other people lately, too. I don't know if it's just me...more connected spiritually somehow to people or if something is going on for everyone but not everyone notices. I don't know. I'm just letting my fingers do the walking here.

There have been good things happening with my second cousin who is having so many problems. Things are getting better, she's been feeling better...she said she was laughing at work and she NEVER laughs at work. So I guess some good stuff must be rubbing off on her...positive vibes. My Doberman thought that might happen. Looks like he was right.

Well, in other news our dog passed away on Sunday night. I was going to take her to the vet Monday and she didn't make it. She was really bloated, we don't know why. I have to talk to our vet about it.

I thought about contacting my intermediary to see if that was something to be passed along to Mr. Gray but I guess pets don't count? I don't know. I haven't written her about it yet. He might think I'm thinking about him or something. LOL! Well, I did. He liked her a lot and she liked him. Probably better than me. The last time he saw her was the Sunday before I gave the evidence to OWH. Two days before that day. A Tuesday.

Well, I could have used his help to dig the grave, that's for sure. But I did it myself and my friend helped me put her in and fill in the grave.

She was a good dog. And old, too. She was going to be 14 this year. She didn't live with us anymore, she stayed at my g'ma's. Ever since Hurricane Rita.

Well, to make a long story short.....TOO LATE!!!! LOL! I guess I'd better skedaddle before this gets any longer!
Posted By: bigkahuna Re: 6th week of Plan B tomorrow... - 01/30/08 07:14 AM
Hi Charlotte - I was wondering how you were. Haven't seen you post much lately.
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 01/30/08 08:48 AM
Hey Charlotte!!!

Quote
If anything, he will b&m because I am TOUCHING his things or something stupid like that.


If it weren't so sad, this would be funny! It's too bad that WS will revert to childish behaviors in order to continue to try and get "their way"...

Good to see you around! I hope that you're sleeping well!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: 6th week of Plan B tomorrow... - 01/30/08 05:06 PM
Hi Big K!!!!

Good to see ya'!!!

Yeah, I've been pretty busy here. I'm probably going to regret opening my big mouth and saying I'd do the inventory but so far I'm not nuts so I guess I'll be okay. Maybe!! So far I've just brushed the tip of the iceberg!

I'm probably going to kill the camera and the battery will surely die...I can usually get through two or three sessions before it needs to be recharged.

It's been pretty interesting, though.

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/30/08 05:10 PM
Hi RIF!!!

Ain't it, though? Reminds me of Bill Cosby in "Himself" when he's talking about his kids. Hilarious!

I can just see it coming. Maybe it won't, though. All I know is he's lucky it's me because I'm so careful.

And from time to time I think about that ridiculous statement oft repeated, "They're all broken!" Yeah, how stupid do you think people are, Gray? Oh yeah, he WASN'T thinking! LOL!!

I feel silly for even dignifying that with an answer the first time he brought it up at the hearing. Oh well. Live and learn!

Take care!

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 01/30/08 08:20 PM
Charlotte,
About your dog:
We also had to put our dog down - in August. She was about 13-14. Our vet said she had a lesion behind her heart, which could be a cancer, or the spot on the xray could have been a sign of heart problems.

She became bloated and swolen and had trouble breathing, lying down, walking, going up and down a step. I took her to the vet, and he took out some of the fluid via a needle. The bloating came back though after a time.

When that happened, my son asked me to take her back to the vet again and have him remove the fluid.

At the vet's office, he said he could do that if I wanted to, but that she was suffering and he advised me to have her put down right then and there. He said this was a sign that she was dying, and that the kindest thing was to end her suffering that same day.

Also, his wife had just died within a few months before. He told me he had seen her looking just like our dog, swolen, bloated, struggling to breathe, and in pain. She died of cancer. As he talked, he told me that it is so sad that we can help animals to end their suffering, but that we cannot do anything for people. He had to watch his poor wife suffer and struggle until the end finally came.

It is so heartbreaking, when it is a loved one, a person.

I told him our son would want to say goodbye to his dog, and that we would return the next day. Our son spent the rest of the day holding her in his arms, crying and sobbing. He wanted to give her a bath, but I told him it would only stress her out. He wanted her to sleep in his bed, or in his room, but she didn't want to.

She slept in my room, and she needed to go outside several times during the night. I got up, lifted her out to the patio, and waited while she walked around the yard and came back to the patio. Then I lifted her back inside.

The next morning our son wrote a story for her, making her the heroine. WHen it came time to go to the vets, I allowed him to lie in the wayback of my station wagon with her and he read her the story on the way to the vet.

He got to have closure and to hold her after she had gone out. The vet asked if he wanted her cremated, and if he wanted her ashes in a box. He did. He has a cedar box, and he has her leash, her dishes, her mat, and a picture of her set up in his room like a shrine.

Anyway, that sure was a long post that I wrote just to address the thing about your dog becoming swolen and bloated. It is just one thing that happens when our pets get very old.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 01/30/08 11:32 PM
Wow Bellevue,

That sounds like just it. I wish I'd known sooner but I guess it wouldn't have made much difference. Before my Mom left for her trip she mentioned that our dog looked a little bit fat or a little bloated and there was so much going on and then I got sick so I never checked her. I wasn't around. I feel bad about it now but she had always been the picture of health so I didn't think she was sick.

I sometimes forget how old she was and her sisters, too. Mom has one, the other sister is my sister's dog, but she moved to my grandma's after living with us for a long time because my sister never had a satisfactory place for her to live.

My Mom's dog had a bout with cancer several years ago. She had a deadly necklace of tumors in her uterus. Our vet is super great and he removed them. We thought she might have to be put to sleep but after her surgery she just looked at us like she didn't want to leave so we took her to A&M to the hospital.

She was there for over a week and she's been cancer free since. I guess we won't have the two of them much longer since they are getting so much older, though.

We have a lot of elderly cats, too. And the horses aren't getting any younger.

Well, I'm rambling now.

Thank you very much for that information. I'm betting that it was something just like your situation. It's hard to lose a member of the family. But the love is so worth it. I thought I'd give up on pets but I just couldn't. They just grab you by the heart and that's it!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Dream - 01/31/08 05:06 AM
Well, I wanted to get this down before I forget about it. Last night I was having some very nice dreams. Then I had one with Mr. Gray. Well, he MIGHT have been Jonesy...I'm really not sure.

He was here but he was talking on the phone. I was mad because he kept talking and I didn't know who it was but I suspected Slag. For some reason he was carrying a microphone around, too. A desk microphone for a radio. He was talking on the phone when I was in the same room with him, though.

I remember putting on the John Cusack movie, "Better Off Dead" and waiting for him to finish.

Then he was trying to woo me. On one hand, it could have been Jonesy but on the other hand I felt like he might have been trying to trick me.

This is the second dream with this sort of feeling in it. I had one a few weeks ago.

And speak of the devil...he just now logged out of IM.

Hmmm.

Well, that was about it...there was no resolution in the dream. I woke up before I slept with him or didn't sleep with him. I wasn't leaning towards sleeping with him at that point, though. He was trying.
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Dream - 01/31/08 05:43 AM
bellevue... that's heartbreaking... I'm crying right now... but what a touching goodbye.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Should I say, "Now what?" Yet? - 01/31/08 07:15 PM
Well, I got word from my Doberman this a.m. that there is correspondence from opposing counsel. I don't know what it is yet, I'll find out later this afternoon when I get there.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Should I say, "Now what?" Yet? - 01/31/08 10:38 PM
I'm anxiously awaiting an update.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine LOL! - 02/01/08 03:33 AM
LOL Dobie!!!

You always show up when I mention my Doberman. Do you have your pc set to catch that word? Or is it intuition?

LOL!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 02/01/08 04:16 AM
There were two letters. One to do with taxes. The other one was a list of things Mr. Gray wants from here. It contained a lot of stuff that wasn't in the agreement.

So I said I'll agree to whatever's in the agreement and nothing more.

He doesn't give a rat's *ss about me. He just wants his STUFF. Fine. Whatever.

He can KISS MY GRITS!!!!!!

Oh yeah, and another suggestion in the letter. That the inventory stuff be moved to a climate-controlled facility.

Hello? Me and Dobie just talked about this two weeks ago!! And I had emailed him about it at least a week before that!

It's like "Brick wall? Brick wall?"

I'm not agreeing to Jack Sprat. I'm doing all of the work over here while he plays.

Whatever. I'm getting to the point of I just don't give a damn anymore. Let him rot. Let him roll in the manure with that harpy.

I'm not going to rush anything and my Doberman doesn't want to rush it, either, because Mr. Gray OWES me. So who do I agree with? My Doberman of course.

But what can I say anymore? He'll get his crap when he gets it. And no sooner. I'm not rushing anything but do I even care? It's getting to be... NO!!!!

And when it's all over I am NOT waiting around for him. Why should I?

I'm not going to cloister myself for two freakin' years. This isn't fair. I didn't ask for this. All I wanted was a little LOYALTY. Like I gave.
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 02/01/08 05:37 AM
(((Charlote)))

I'm getting a sense that you're love is fading fast...

You WILL be OK and you will make it through this period.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/01/08 05:50 AM
Thank you, RIF!

It just feels like, what's the point anymore?

I just don't know. I'm doing my own thing and enjoying my family and my new friends, though.
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 02/01/08 05:59 AM
Hey Charlotte,

Glad that you have a good support group of family and friends.

Your H WILL wake up from all of this one day... hopefully, it won't be too late for you.

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/01/08 06:33 AM
Hi RIF,

Thank you. It sure doesn't look that way. Yeah, I hope it's not too late but it's getting there. Just around the next bend, I think.
Posted By: RIF Re: Update - 02/01/08 05:06 PM
Hey Charlotte,

Just wanted to check in with you and see how you're doing this morning... I hope you're having a great day!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/02/08 12:34 AM
Hi RIF!!

Thank you!! I'm doing GRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!!!!!!!

The weekend is going to be great, DIL & I are hosting a "Goddess Day" on Sunday.

Next week is going to be great, too!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 12:37 AM
But really, am I?

For saying "NO" to Gray's list? And only agreeing to what's in the agreement?

Should I just roll over and play dead?

I was planning on packing stuff up anyway to move it into storage when I move the inventory items there after they are logged. Starting with whatever junk of his is in my way.
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 04:21 AM
It's always heartbreaking to say goodbye to a pet. Our son said he was so relieved that she had been ready to go while he was still at home, to comfort her and say goodbye at the last minute.

On alighter note, one time one of our goldfish was floating belly up in the tank. I disposed of it expeditiously, without saying anything to our son. It went into the guest bathroom (which was DS's.)

He left the table during dinner, and went into the bathroom. Suddenly he called out to us "Hey, there's a fish swimming in the toilet bowl! What's he doing in here?"

Oops! I ran in and there was Ishkabibble, looking good as new. I scooped him out, and got a stern lecture from DS about putting his pet in the toilet and how I nearly killed it.

*sigh* <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 04:26 AM
Charlotte, Your posts sound balanced, poised, and detatched. Imagine what condition you would be in now, without Plan B. Very interesting to witness how protected you are in Plan B.

Not eager to please, desperate to get him back, anxious not to alienate the alien. Dignity, self-respect, completely aware of your value and your worth. And not about to sell yourself cheap. Stick to the agreement. You're doing really great.
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 05:01 PM
Bellevue, LOL!

Thanks for the morning smile!
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 05:02 PM
Charlotte, I agree with Bellevue. You're doing great!
Posted By: believer Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 06:58 PM
And about dating before 2 years - DON'T DO IT!!!!!!! Just when you think you are happy again, your husband (the real one) will show up.

You are still quite early in Plan B. Give it another couple of months.
Posted By: mopey Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 07:43 PM
I don't know Charlotte. I think I'd stick to the agreement for now. Your feelings could change daily on this.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 09:37 PM
Quote
It's always heartbreaking to say goodbye to a pet. Our son said he was so relieved that she had been ready to go while he was still at home, to comfort her and say goodbye at the last minute.

On alighter note, one time one of our goldfish was floating belly up in the tank. I disposed of it expeditiously, without saying anything to our son. It went into the guest bathroom (which was DS's.)

He left the table during dinner, and went into the bathroom. Suddenly he called out to us "Hey, there's a fish swimming in the toilet bowl! What's he doing in here?"

Oops! I ran in and there was Ishkabibble, looking good as new. I scooped him out, and got a stern lecture from DS about putting his pet in the toilet and how I nearly killed it.

*sigh*


I agree. It is a good thing he could say goodbye. I think it helps. It doesn't hurt any less, whether it's animal or human animal, but it does make a difference. Sudden death is the hardest, I believe.

That is so funny about the goldfish, though!! We had one at my g'ma's that I named Klaus. He grew really large but he developed a tumor over his eye. With some research I found out that it's common with goldfish to develop tumors. I had no idea!!

There was really no treatment and it got bigger and bigger until it burst one day. It was awful. And it happened at the same time my bro was having problems with his ex. He was trying to get an emergency order to protect my nieces. It was weird how it happened that way. Like bad juju.

Okay, I don't know why I remembered that story...well, I take that back. I do know why. The goldfish....duh!!! Anyway, I think about it from time to time. Because my ex-SIL is a sociopath and the epitome of evil. We all have to be vigilant for the girls FOREVER!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 09:42 PM
Quote
Charlotte, Your posts sound balanced, poised, and detatched. Imagine what condition you would be in now, without Plan B. Very interesting to witness how protected you are in Plan B.

Not eager to please, desperate to get him back, anxious not to alienate the alien. Dignity, self-respect, completely aware of your value and your worth. And not about to sell yourself cheap. Stick to the agreement. You're doing really great.


Thank you, Bellevue.

I didn't think I was being unreasonable but it helps to have reinforcement!!

Yeah, it is interesting how I am in Plan B. Sometimes I wonder if something is wrong with me because I'm not sad. Then I think: What the heck is wrong with you, Fool?! Do you WANT to be sad?! LOL!!

But I still wonder sometimes. Maybe I used up all of my sad?
I always refer to my turning point if someone brings up anything that they may have done or said during my bad time.

Like: Well, if you told me that or did that before October 30th, I may not remember!

But yeah, it gets better every day for me! I've had a lot of growth spiritually as well. It's great!

Thanks again Bellevue!!
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 09:43 PM
ewwww....

Ok sorry to t/j but I gotsta know...

What happened? Did the whole fish burst, or just the tumor, and did that kill it or...??

The very day that DS6b was gonna take his pet praying mantis to show and tell, she died...

We now have kittens. Longer life spans. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 09:44 PM
Thank you, jayne!!!

I am going to continue on this path!!!

If Gray decides to find me he will have to look for my footprints, I'm not leaving any breadcrumbs behind!

I tend to make my own path in life rather than follow others. Blaze a trail. Because it's harder, more of a challenge. So, yeah!!!! Going for broke, Baby!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 09:54 PM
Quote
The very day that DS6b was gonna take his pet praying mantis to show and tell, she died...


Awwwww! That's so sweet!

Well, my Mom was on my phone with my brother and we were all freaking out about that latest development at the time. I walked into the kitchen and the tumor had burst above his eye...I think he may have brushed up against the ruins of the Parthenon that decorated his tank.

He swam wildly back and forth, freaking out and I couldn't stand to watch and I wasn't sure what to do...I wanted to help, like take him out so maybe he'd die quicker but I didn't want to stick my hand in the water with all of that "stuff" in there, the blood and the tumor juice and little bits of flesh.

Yeah. It was bad. No more goldfish! I don't remember the type that are in there now but they are as far from goldfish as you can get!

Yeah, kittens. Good idea. Cats live a really long time. Wasn't the original "Morris" like 33 when he died? We have a 20-year-old. Her counterpart was about the same age when she died but we aren't sure if Mom accidently ran over her or she was already dead under Mom's van. She was really hard of hearing and may not have heard the van. But anyway, she was cool. Our black cat named Snow. She survived a house fire and everything.

She was one cool kitty. We still have her son that she had before she had her operation.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Am I being unreasonable? - 02/02/08 10:03 PM
Hi believer!

Thank you. I'll do my best but I'm not making any promises. I really don't want to get involved with anyone right now, though. Just as friends, that's it.

I'm enjoying being on my own too much. I really didn't think I would but I am. "Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!" said Gomer Pyle.

Sometimes I do wish that Gray could see me, though. I'd knock his socks off!! His eyes would roll out of their sockets and hang by their stalks. The sound of his hand hitting his forehead would be as loud as a thunderclap as he exclaimed, "OMG!! WHAT was I THINKING????!!!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Well, he'll see me in court next time, I suppose. If he can see THROUGH my Doberman. I'll be on the OTHER side of whichever side Gray is on. And I'm tiny so I won't be in his line of vision. Of course, I'm sure we'll have to go into mediation again so that will mean he'll be across the table. Oh well.

Gaze upon your regrets, Mr. Gray!
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 10:10 PM
ew ew ew ew... so sorry I asked!

I'm surprised ishkabooble (?) survived the chlorinated eu de toilet. Or maybe that's what revived him/her.

My previous two cats only lived to about 7... one ran under the neighbor's car just as it was backing out of the driveway. The other one was heartbroken, and came down with cancer within 6 months.

Our two new kittens just got fixed Thursday, so we now have two "satellite kitties". It's pretty funny when they are trying to see each other and bump satellite dishes.

MIL noted that our kits are just like our kids- one minute fighting and chasing, the next minute best of friends. I've sometimes wondered if she was also making the observation about the pair of adults in the household...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Jayne - 02/02/08 11:30 PM
Quote
ew ew ew ew... so sorry I asked!


ROTFLMAO!!!



Quote
I'm surprised ishkabooble (?) survived the chlorinated eu de toilet. Or maybe that's what revived him/her.


Could be!

Quote
My previous two cats only lived to about 7... one ran under the neighbor's car just as it was backing out of the driveway. The other one was heartbroken, and came down with cancer within 6 months.


Awwwww....that's so sad! It's so sad to see a pet mourning for a lost friend.

Quote
Our two new kittens just got fixed Thursday, so we now have two "satellite kitties". It's pretty funny when they are trying to see each other and bump satellite dishes.


LOL!! I can just see the movie in my mind!

Quote
MIL noted that our kits are just like our kids- one minute fighting and chasing, the next minute best of friends. I've sometimes wondered if she was also making the observation about the pair of adults in the household...


LMAO!! She probably was!!

And yes, ITA about kittens and cats being like little kids. Another thing they like to do is go in and out a LOT! I swear! They need to install some kitty doors over at my grandma's! Not only do they let you know when they want out with those questioning meows, but also when they want in they "knock" on the door! Probably going to need new door frames over there pretty soon!
Posted By: believer Re: Jayne - 02/03/08 12:04 AM
Charlotte - My rescued cat has a kitty door. And he has no claws! He is supposed to stay in but I gave up on that. Anyway he survived living in the wilds with the coyotes for 4 months, so I guess he will be okay.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Kitties!! - 02/03/08 12:27 AM
Quote
My rescued cat has a kitty door. And he has no claws! He is supposed to stay in but I gave up on that. Anyway he survived living in the wilds with the coyotes for 4 months, so I guess he will be okay.


Awwwww!! You have one savvy kitty there...avoiding becoming coyote fodder!! LOL!!

My Sis keeps hers in, too, but only because he wants to fight everything on four legs. Two legs, too. He's quite a character. We think he's very likely part Bobcat. She lived in a bobcat area when he came into her life. He even LOOKS like a bobcat. And he's BIG!! He was born with a tail, though. He subsequently lost it in an accident. So now he's his true bobcat self...sans tail!! LOL!

My Sis lives in Louisiana now. She found a sweet kitty at the recycling center there. She put up posters but no one claimed her so she brought him here. I let my aunt name her because I'm always accused of naming everything. Well! I allow time for names but when no one comes forward an animal needs a name!

Anyway, she named her Chablis after the character in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil." Chablis has orange teeth. We don't know why and neither does the vet. I bought her a sparkly bright blue collar to match Chablis' dress in the movie. She's such a sweetie!! And a fabulous mouser! Her coat is nice and soft from all of the vermin she's eaten. (That's my theory...rats and mice keep a coat nice and soft. I wouldn't want to try it for MY hair, though! LOL!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Wow!!! - 02/08/08 04:52 AM
This must be a record! I haven't posted since the 2nd!! LOL!!

Just a quick report. I signed up for dance lessons. I don't know which dance yet. I'm hoping a little of everything. Maybe even bellydancing when I'm in better shape!! Not that I'm in terrible shape now but just not used to a lot of heavy physical activity.

So anyway, it should be fun!! Better than going to a stanky ol' gym for sure!

I'm still working on inventory but my Doberman doesn't want to rush things too much so I get to have some time to go out and live a little. LOL!! I don't know what I did in my last life to have ended up with a human attorney but I am blessed. My brother should have had it so good when he had to divorce. My Mom, too.

Well, I guess flight lessons will follow soon enough! One thing at a time! LOL!

Bye-bye Mr. Gray....I'm on my way to do the Tango!!!!!!
Posted By: RIF Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 05:35 AM
Quote
Better than going to a stanky ol' gym for sure!

Hey Charoltte!

Speaking of stiky ol' gyms... those Italian guys in the spandex need to take a shower... I remember Germans smelling when we'd ride the bus and U-Bhan, but I always thought Italians wore nice shoes and expensive cologn!

Glad you're doing well... and have fun with your belly-dancing lessons!!!! Oh, they sell belly-dancing outfits over here... which surprised me as I didn't think that the Muslims approved of such "lurid" behavior! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: cinderella Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 05:40 AM
Charlotte, the belly dancing will get you into shape. Why wait? I need to get back into hula hooping lessons. I love hooping. Have a video of some spontaneous hooping - not a planned and choreographed performance.

Spiral, a professional hooper, at Burning Man
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 05:54 AM
LOL!!! I wouldn't think so either about those outfits, RIF!!!!!

ROFLMAO!! I should have known you would bring up those Italians and their penchant for skimpy shorts, spandex and hygiene!!

LOL!!

I'm surrounded by Italians but so far I haven't had that problem. I'm sorry, RIF!!!!

My Doberman said that his coworker is trying to get him to work out because of his blood pressure but I didn't ask him about skimpy shorts!! LOL!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 05:58 AM
Originally, belly dancing was not considered lurid. If you ever took a class in it, they don't emphasize that at the lower levels. In fact, women w/ plush bodies....as opposed to anorexic ones....are often found belly dancing. It is considered more of an exercise in skill and femininity than an exercise in flagrant sexuality.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 06:00 AM
Quote
Charlotte, the belly dancing will get you into shape. Why wait? I need to get back into hula hooping lessons. I love hooping. Have a video of some spontaneous hooping - not a planned and choreographed performance.

Spiral, a professional hooper, at Burning Man


COOL, Cinderella!!!!

Well, I guess I'll start slow and work my way through them all. Why not? LOL!!

My bro' used to do Burning Man every year. He is a Trance DJ. Quasar.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 06:02 AM
Neat! Well, I guess I'd be good for it then. I'm nowhere near anorexic! I HATE that look! I could probably lose a few pounds but not too much!!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 06:19 AM
both hooping and belly dancing are good for your core muscles.

as you could see from the hooping video, hooping is also very good for your arms
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 06:31 AM
Cool! That sounds good. I never could keep a hoop up, though. At least not when I was younger. I guess I would do better with bellydancing. Maybe!! Well, I guess I'll find out!!! LOL!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 08:32 PM
Charlotte, I couldn't keep a hoop up when I started hooping lessons. That was the sole reason I signed up the first time. Now, I really love it. Haven't hooped in weeks and I miss it.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 08:36 PM
I'm glad to know that! I thought there was something wrong with the way I was doing it and that I just never could figure out what! I think I may look into that as well. It sounds like a lot of fun! Surely someone has lessons in the next big town!! Thanks!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 08:42 PM
Part of it has to do w/ the size and weight of the hoop. So, technique and tools enter into the mix. Charlotte, e-mail me at cinderella4mb at yahoo.com and I will see if I can help you find any hoopers in your area.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/08/08 08:46 PM
Okay, cin, I'm on my way to email right now! Thank you!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/09/08 06:17 PM
Getting ready for dance class!!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Wow!!! - 02/09/08 06:26 PM
That's good Charlotte. Great to see you going out and having fun and doing new things.

Those kind of things really saved me after D-day. I almost became a completely different person. And it helps keep you entertained and is great for the self-esteem!
Posted By: Wknghrd2LoveEasy Re: Wow!!! - 02/09/08 06:59 PM
Charlotte,

My DDIL is from Morrocco and she says that all her women friends belly dance and love it. BUT...it is NOT supposed to be erotic. She says that culturally, women belly dance for women because it's fun and feminine. You might dance for your husband but NEVER for other men.

She says that belly dancing for men is a perversion of the art much as prostitution is a perversion of sex.

So belly dance and LOVE IT!!!! Makes me want to take up too.
She says she'll teach this old lady.

WH2LE
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Wow!!! - 02/09/08 07:31 PM
Wknd etc,

Is belly dancing supposed to be helpful for labor? Maybe I'm confused with another culture. Someone told me that African woman dance using pelvic thrusts as a way of strengthening themselves for labor and childbirth. ANd they dance for each other, not for the men.
Hey, I've got a belly! Maybe I should take up belly dancing.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/11/08 01:31 AM
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks, believer!! I know what you mean about that completely different person thing. I don't thing Gray would be able to recognize me soon if he had the honor of laying his eyes upon me!

Too bad for him!! LOL!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/11/08 01:35 AM
Hi WH2LE!! Nice to see ya'!

That's an interesting thing. I guess it would be very hard to change anyone's viewpoint here in the good ol' USA on that one! I bet the renaissance folks here would be fit to spit if anyone tried to get rid of their provocative belly dancers!

I'm guessing it would be like trying to change the mindset like trying to get folks not to call bandages "band-aids," facial tissue "kleenex" and mobile homes and trailers "manufactured homes."

I live in a manufactured home on land we own and I've heard all of the remarks about that!! LOL!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Wow!!! - 02/11/08 01:36 AM
LOL, Bellevue!

Nice to "see" ya'!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, here's the story.... - 02/11/08 01:41 AM
Turns out I'm pretty good at the Rumba! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

For whatever reason I'm able to pick up on dances with more intricate steps a lot easier. Well, I'm not going to argue!

It was a lot of fun and I have another session on Monday. Looks like I'm in!!

Funny, yesterday was the anniversary of the PBL delivery and the start of Plan B. I didn't even remember until later! LOL!!

I'm not sure now...7 weeks? Or 8? I think 8 but I'd have to go count on a calendar. Nah! I'm too busy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/11/08 03:05 AM
Charlotte -

Good job! I'm not a good dancer, but love to dance.

It's good that you are getting out and doing things. Keep it up. I even took up SCUBA diving. Whatever you try will help you feel good about yourself, and maybe you will find something that you will enjoy for the rest of your life.
Posted By: smartiepants2 Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/11/08 03:44 AM
C22

Haven't posted in awhile. Been busy in Plan Smartie (I decided to stop calling it Plan B because I'm done with WH--just waiting to catch the D train with Chrisner in a few months) but just wanted to say you sound fantastic. I thought I was doing good, but you've got me beat by a mile!!

Keep it up---you're an inspiration to us new Killer Bees (or what you will)! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Smartie
Posted By: weaver Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/11/08 09:46 PM
Quote
I'm not sure now...7 weeks? Or 8? I think 8 but I'd have to go count on a calendar. Nah! I'm too busy!


Holy mackeral! Has it really been that long already?

When we get all settled in at our new place down south, I am going to take some fun classes, too. As it is I spent all weekend crocheting. LOL Can you believe it?

I taught myself using a book. I so could have used a grandma. GB told me to go to the old folks home and borrow one. It was the hardest friggen directions I ever tried to follow. Just the abreviations were enough to send me through the roof. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

It's fun though and it gives me something to do while I sit and watch TV with GB. I have never been able to sit and watch TV.

And I think he might be a little deaf, because he just BLASTS it. He's about giving my cat a nervous breakdown. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/12/08 11:29 PM
Thanks believer!

Ooh! I'd love to learn scuba diving! I've always wanted to go below the surface and explore. Well, add that to the list for later! Next up after dance lessons or during dance lessons will be my pilot's license!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/12/08 11:32 PM
Thank you, smartie!!!

I never thought it would be this way and it just keeps getting better and better!!!!

Yeah, I hear you about your WH....at this point I believe it would be all about the kids if I were to give him another chance. And I don't know if it would work.

But right now I'm just living...and living more than I have in years! It's great!!

Good to see ya' and take care!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Hee hee!!!! - 02/12/08 11:34 PM
Just had to add: I can just see us in the Killer Bee costumes....they MUST be just like the ones in vintage SNL with John Belushi, Gilda Radner and all of the other originators!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, here's the story.... - 02/12/08 11:41 PM
Oh, Josie, crocheting! I always had a problem with it no matter who showed me the "ropes!"

I can weave all kinds of things with beads, though. Go figure!

I have a big project I'm about to start on soon. I'm making a thank you gift for my Doberman for taking such good care of me. I figure I can finish it by the time we are all done with court and all. He likes ducks...scratch that....he LOVES ducks so I'm weaving a Wood Duck picture for him. It looks like the real McCoy....or shall I say the real decoy? LOL!

38 colors, Delica beads (they are very uniform in size, etc.), 5x7...I just have to figure out what I'm going to mount it on. I don't want to put it behind glass in a frame so I'm not sure on that yet.

If I finish it before everything is done I will probably end up giving it to him ahead of time, though!

The ladies in the office will receive amulet bags made with seed beads.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/12/08 11:50 PM
My second lesson was great! We are going to do 2 sessions on Saturdays so I don't have to drive as much. It's nearly 50 miles one way.

So I'm going to get in touch with Gray's XW because I haven't had time to call her with an update lately (last time we talked for 5 hours on the phone!!! LOL!) and see if she'd like to go to lunch or dinner that day.

And on Sunday I have visitors from a Doberman adoption agency coming to visit. I sent my application today and they responded immediately.

The rep is bringing Dobie Annabelle along with her for a visit.

So soon, my Lovelies, soon will be my OTHER Doberman! Of the canine variety this time!

LOL!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: believer Re: Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/13/08 02:55 AM
"The ladies in the office will receive amulet bags made with seed beads."

Hey, how about sending an amulet bag out to all of the goddesses? Do the amulets work? I mean, what do they DO?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/13/08 03:38 AM
Well, you can use them for a fashion accessory or enclose your favorite good luck charm or talisman. Someone who used to be my friend put her kids' first haircut in one. Just a few locks of hair, not all of it!! LOL!

I do have crystals that I can enclose, some use these for healing.

Well, I don't know what the Goddess count is up to now but it takes a while to weave them. The simple ones take a month or two while more elaborate ones take longer.

I suppose I could do some with suede remnants, those are fast...as long as I didn't accidentally send on to a Vegan!!
Posted By: believer Re: Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/13/08 04:05 AM
"Well, I don't know what the Goddess count is up to now but it takes a while to weave them."

Just kidding, LOL. And wondering what they were used for.

Before D-day, I'd bought a bunch of weird stuff at a garage sale. One was a chicken foot on a piece of leather. It turned out it was some kind of voodoo stuff. I got rid of it right after D-day!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/13/08 04:15 AM
LOL! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! A chicken foot!!!

Really though, it would be kinda cool to make a Goddess bracelet or necklace with a big "G" or even the word "goddess" as the charm.

For all of us here. It's something to think about! First things first, though. Duck!!!! LOL!!
Posted By: Dobie Re: Oh! I almost forgot!! - 02/14/08 04:40 AM
Way cool! I used to do Dobe rescue. Let me know how the visit goes.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Gray matter - 03/04/08 03:29 AM
Okay, this might be long. Grab a cup o' joe and pull up a seat!

I guess I'd better start with last week. I logged into IM to talk to my DIL. For no apparent reason...but probably ESP, I ran the pointer over Mr. Gray's moniker in IM, which is my Doberman's Dinner. No, I haven't deleted him out of there, I can't block him well enough if I do.

Anyway I saw that he was online and also that he had a "headline," which he NEVER used to do before. It said "Axe Victim."

I don't know why he would think I would see because I NEVER pay attention to him. I do notice when he logs in and out sometimes. That's it. I don't look at him otherwise. Well, I did that night.

It had to be meant for my eyes only. Who else?

My DIL and I were LOAO about it. Then I told my mom. She said, "Maybe he got fired!"

Okay. Good point. But my Doberman has heard nothing up to now and neither have my DS & DIL.

He had the same headline the next night but not during the day. Then I decided to quit checking.

I told a couple of others about it. One of them being Gray's XW. Both said, maybe Slag gave him the axe. LOL! Gray's XW was more colorful when she said it, though. She said, "What? Sheba get tired of him already?" LOL!

So the weekend passed without incident. No UFO sightings. No close encounters. Phew! I was starting to get afraid he might show up and I still am, a little.

Well, today I was talking to my DD, sis and bro in IM. I saw when Gray logged out and logged back in a little while later. I think that's when he got to the pig sty. It was about the same amount of time as a long time ago when I was paying attention to him and he logged out and in again. I figure that it's travel time from work to sty.

I gave him until 6pm today (even though he has no grace period) but he still hasn't deposited the first support check for this month. It was due on the 1st. So at midnight he will be 3 days late I have been keeping my Doberman informed about the situation. I told him about the "headline" as well. So he'd have a head's up.

Now I have to call him so he can release the hounds.

Here's my dilemma: Now I feel bad for Gray. I think Mom might be right about him being homesick and I feel bad about that. I feel bad also because I know where he will end up if he doesn't straighten his life out.

I haven't cried...but if I go back into the living room and watch the rest of the Green Mile that I started watching when I had supper. I will cry. And not only because of John Coffey. Because of Gray. And also because that movie moved him as well as me when we saw it the first time.

That was back when he used to go to the movies to watch movies. LOL!

Anyway, if someone would be kind enough to offer a little input it would be greatly appreciated.
Posted By: believer Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 03:39 AM
Charlotte - NO FEELING SORRY FOR MR. GRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He can end the affair and get back with you anytime he wants to.

Axe victim sounds more like being fired to me, but who's speculating?
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 03:41 AM
That's hard, Charlotte. I wonder if the intermediary might be able to relay to him that you'd be willing to talk if your conditions are met (NC with OW), and that the situation is not hopeless. (He may think it's already too far gone to even attempt a reconciliation, but maybe showing him the way might spur him along a little.)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 04:04 AM
Thanks believer.

I can't help it. Now I have been trying not to think about this for hours!!!

I can't shake the feeling that he wants me to contact him but I'm not going to of course.

I will contact my Doberman and that's that. Gray should know better. And there's just NO WAY he FORGOT. No way!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 04:08 AM
Thanks cathy.

It is hard.

Melody Lane is my intermediary so I don't see that happening, LOL!!!

I was even reluctant to post here because I was afraid he might be looking for me. I never told him about MB but I did send an email to OWH, which was intercepted and read by Slag. OWH still got it, though. It was the only mail in his box that had been read in weeks.

That was in November, I think. She may or may not have come here and looked. She may or may not have mentioned it to Gray. I have NO idea.

Meanwhile, I am trying NOT to think about what is up with him.

I just can't shake the feeling that he wants me to contact him. Which of course, I won't.

I call my Doberman, my Doberman calls Emperor Palpitine, Palpitine calls Gray. That's it.

And if he has to be dragged into court, well, so be it. I am not in control of the situation. But I still feel bad for him because I know what will happen to him for the rest of his life.
Posted By: believer Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 04:11 AM
"But I still feel bad for him because I know what will happen to him for the rest of his life."

He could turn things around tomorrow if he chose.

My ex made choices that will controll the rest of his life too. I tried my best, but I wasn't in control.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 06:07 AM
You're right, believer.

What the hail's wrong with me!!

Doberman! Release the hounds!
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 12:24 PM
Charlotte
Sometimes they have to hit rock bottom. Let him.

This is the main reason for going very very dark. It's best to not be aware of his daily problems. This protects you. You don't need that drama. You don't need to be sucked into his fantasy life.

Try not to think about him. Remember....YOU ARE FABULOUS!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/04/08 11:53 PM
You're right, MicheleG!

Thank you!

I paid for it when I woke up this a.m., I tell ya'. My shoulder injury from when I saved Gray from choking on his own vomit because he was bombed on Crown Royal and Soma (and probably Xanax, since they were sharing meds) hurt this a.m. and I had a headache.

I have learned my lesson.

Meanwhile, back in Oz, I let my Doberman know that the alien hadn't made the deposit and told him to release the hounds!!!

Speak of the Devil! There he went! Logged of to go to the pig sty! LOL! Just now!

Anyway, I told my Doberman not to release the hounds immediately because I had talked to Gray's XW and she said he will wait until you start to do something and then deposit the money, thus resulting in a lot of wasted effort.

So I told my Doberman that we should wait a couple of days or so to see what he does. I am not hurting just yet as far as money goes but I did have to transfer from savings to cover bills.

My Doberman has other people that need him and I don't want him wasting his valuable time on mind games. So I'm going to tough it out. If Gray thinks I'll fold because of this he is SO wrong.

So we shall see what happens here. Should be interesting, as always.

In other news: Dancing is going really well. My teacher has been teaching me advanced moves because I am doing so well. Yay!

I also found out that my teacher is not promiscuous. I told him about the situation and was happy to learn that he is someone that is all for fidelity in a relationship. I was worried about this when I started dancing because I knew that a lot of rampant sex probably goes on with some...especially dancing so close with one another.

Well, as it turns out, my teacher left dance because he was so disgusted with the behavior! He had to come back, though, because he loves dance.

He even said if he ever gets married he knows he will have to give up dance. He wouldn't want his wife all stressed out because he has to dance with other women. He's so sweet!

I knew he was the right teacher for me when I found out what his name was when I signed up...it is linked to other circumstances I won't go into here because I'll end up writing a book.

So I thought that was GRAND!!! Yep!!

I'll post updates on this latest Gray snafu.

I have no idea if he knows about this place but I haven't given up any tacticals.

Have a great evening, All!!

And any Texans...go rock the vote if you haven't gone yet!!! You still have time!
Posted By: cathys01 Re: Gray matter - 03/05/08 12:16 AM
Yeah, the vote has been rocked at my precinct. Strange though, the line for the Democratic primary wrapped all the way outside the door, but there were only 5 people ahead of me for the Republican primary (the line was a little longer by the time I was done). Sad.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/05/08 06:03 AM
LOL!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

It was pretty busy at mine. I was waiting for my Mom but even though she got off early the traffic prevented her from making it here from Houston.

I zoomed up there pretty close to 7 with a smile.

I was almost afraid Gray would show up. But I doubted it. It took me YEARS to finally get him to register. I doubt he changed precincts in order to vote with Slag.

What a shame. Oh well, his loss. It's not my problem is he doesn't like to exercise, be it physical or his right to vote.

He should do it while he can, seeing as he might end up with a felony on his record.

I am sitting here taking a break from doing inventory and just finished talking to my DIL.

I am so interested to see what is coming up next in this saga.

Oh yeah, and I had a dream on Tuesday a.m. that made wake up suddenly.

I was dreaming that Gray (well, he was Jonesy, or pretending to be) was with me and our house was actually a house where my Mom's house used to be before it was torn down because of the fire.

I went to work and when I came home he had cleaned the place out. I was lamenting to my Mom and what am I gonna tell my Doberman, blah blah blah and my Mom said, "Don't worry, you can still....."

I don't know what finished the sentence. I woke up. Freaky deaky, ya'll!!!!!!

LOL!!!

That's 3 dreams with the theme of him trying to trick me. I guess I don't have to worry about falling for any crap he might come out with.

So THERE!!!!! Take THAT! Mr. Gray!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Gray matter - 03/05/08 07:34 PM
Charlotte, have you ever done stand up comedy? You're hysterical!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Gray matter - 03/07/08 05:57 AM
LOL!! Thank you, Bellevue!! That's so sweet!! No, I haven't but I've been making so many people laugh lately that maybe I ought to rethink my career!!!!!!

LMAO!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update on Gray skies - 03/07/08 05:59 AM
Well, still no deposit so my Shiny Attorney prepared a fax. And signed it: with love and kisses, Charlotte!! LOL!!

Had me in stitches, he did!!!!!

So we'll see what happens now.

So curious, am I. So, so curious!!!
Posted By: Miss M Re: Update on Gray skies - 03/07/08 07:43 AM
charlotte,

Well, you have fought the good fight.

I really, REALLY wish you well. You have come SO FAR!

And, I know you know this, but you are so WORTHY.

Don't forget this. And... we will see what happens, but you are a success, no matter what. I have witnessed such a wonderful change in you.

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update on Gray skies - 03/08/08 12:25 AM
Thank you, Miss M!!!

I feel so blessed!!!! So many good things are happening and keep happening and I feel so good about life!!!!

And thank you for saying so because sometimes I don't feel worthy, or I guess a better way to put it would be that I don't deserve it. I don't think this very often but it does pop in once in a while, still.

I feel like I've been granted a new lease on life. I called my situation "reinventing the wheel," but I like my sister's description: Rebirth.

I never thought it would happen, really. But WOW!!!!!

EVERYTHING is SO amazing now!! I'm so glad to be alive!!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Quote
Well, still no deposit so my Shiny Attorney prepared a fax. And signed it: with love and kisses, Charlotte!! LOL!!

Had me in stitches, he did!!!!!

So we'll see what happens now.


Sorry, couldn't resist a "John McClane!!!!"

Well, Mr. Gray made the deposit today, LOL!!!!!

Now that he's been "scolded" by my Shiny Attorney he's really going to be gunning for me now!!!!!! LOL!!!

Yeah...just let him try!!!

Hmmm, must not be very happy if he's trying to disturb my peace, eh?

Didn't work, Gray! I thought it was hilarious!!

Bring it OAN, Cletus!!!!! Bring it OOOOOOOAAAAAANNNNN!!!!!!
You always crack me up, Charlotte. Mr. Gray has to be missing you.
Your Shiny Attorney? Not Your Doberman?
Thank you, believer!!!

Yeah, you might be right on the money there, seen as how he's starting to make noise and all....hee hee hee!!!!!
Hi cinderella!!

Oh yes, he was my Shiny Attorney waaaaaay before he was my Doberman! I forget how many other nicknames he has now.

Special people, friends and family always have multiple nicknames. Just one of those things!

Well, to be fair, sometimes strangers do too, like the people seen frequently around our town...there's Lurch...and we used to have Norman Bates. I have no idea what happened to him. And that guy that marches around dressed in all black fatigues. Head to toe.

One of my brother's nicknames is Ruta-Shrum-Shrum. From when he was a baby. My sister probably has about 40. My grandson already has about 20 and he's not a year old yet!

Looks like he's going to pass my sister up in the nickname department. Uh-oh!! She's not gonna like dat atall!!!

LOL!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well.... - 03/11/08 05:22 AM
If I had any doubt that Mr. Gray is trying to get to me, it is erased. Last week I saw the picture he put in his IM. Yeah, I know, I'm not supposed to look.

Sorry!!

I was just keeping an eye out. He wasn't online since Friday, the day Emperor Palpitine received the fax. He was on today, though. I wonder if it was related? Who knows? Who cares?

Anyway, I'm not going to check on him anymore. Today is it. Unless something compels me to check like when the mysterious headline was discovered. Other than that, no conscious checking.

Well, he'll be 52 this month and he hates Daylight Savings Time so I guess it's now his mission to attempt to make me miserable.

Well, I laughed. I saw it for the pitiful thing it was. I guess he's not very happy, eh? Or he needs to think I'm miserable so he's happy? Well, it won't work.

All he's doing is shooting himself in the foot. It makes me want to NOT talk to him, ever. As long as I live. Even after she dumps him.

He's only hurting himself. I guess he hasn't gotten the help he needs. Maybe he never will. I don't need to be around that. I had no idea he was so damaged.

So that's the latest report.

I feel that he is not through making noise yet. I suspect my Doberman will receive another letter from the Dark Side soon. More demands, etc. Off with her head, etc.

He jes' doan know who he's foolin' with!!!

I'm not afraid of him. The Goblin King has NO power over me!!

Rock on!!
Posted By: LAsunshinegirl Re: Well.... - 03/11/08 06:53 AM
LOL...you call your atty "The Doberman"! I call mine "The Pitbull" and he laughs when I call him that.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well.... - 03/14/08 06:11 PM
LOL! Yeah, his M.O. is totally Dobie!!

I've never had a pit bull as a pet friend but Dobies I've had, hence the nickname.

Dobies are sleek, handsome, silent and DEADLY!!

They'll have Mr. Gray by the throat before he even realizes they are there! Yep!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Some things never change... - 03/14/08 06:54 PM
Well, I went into my eBay account today to get an incense order ready for a customer. I decided to delete Gray's account out of my seller favorites. I had been meaning to but hadn't got around to it.

I didn't think he was even using it. I figured he had another account by now or maybe even before "Brave New World," so he could sell things on the sly.

I decided to take a look, just for grins, and lo and behold!! He's been back to the usual: buying, buying, buying. He's going to run through his half of the bonus money and hers really quick.

Heck, he may have already run through his. Tomorrow the second support payment of the month is supposed to be deposited.

We'll see if he'll be up to the dickens again and not deposit it right away like last time.

His XW echoed me about feeling that he's not done yet causing trouble. Her words: "Get ready."

I'm ready, Cletus!!! Bring it OAN!

Have a great weekend, All!!
Hi all you Beautiful People!!!

I just had to drop in with an update.

Still "Livin' it up on Friday Night" in Plan B!!

If any of you out there are afraid of Plan B, DON'T BE!!!!!

Plan B is the best thing you can do for yourself!! I didn't want to believe it at first. I was told how necessary and good B was and while my lips and vocal cords formed an agreement, my mind was holding me back. I knew I had to do it, though.

Yeah, it was tough at first. I drank too much vodka for a while. But one day I woke up and I had no desire for booze. I wasn't going to let them turn me into an alcoholic. Well, I would have been the one responsible for turning into an alcoholic but I wasn't about to do that! It would have just allowed them to keep controlling me, in a way. Now I am back to my nearly teetotaler self...once in a while but not often. I even had a Bloody Mary one day with my meal because I know the restaurant has FANTASTIC Bloody Marys.

Anyway, now the money that would have been wasted on alcohol goes towards dance lessons. And I'm getting pretty good! My teacher was so excited the other day we did a "high 10" and he gave me a big hug.

Who knows? Maybe I will even compete someday. Well, my legs will be in fantastic shape by the time we have to go back to court, so I am happy about that because Mr. Gray always had a thing for my legs. Well, now he can "read 'em and weep!"

I was joking around about doing a promenade up the courthouse steps with my Shiny Attorney...of course that's not proper courthouse decorum but it would be fun! LOL! Just to see the look on Gray's face would be priceless!

Oh that would be so funny! I guess I'd better not even THINK about it, I'll be in too much of a jovial mood in court when I need to be somber.

Well, this coming week I'm starting belly dancing just to add to the fun. I want to learn EVERYTHING!! Even tap dancing, but I'll have to find another studio for that. Mine teaches everything BUT tap dancing. Even Adult Hip-hop. LMAO!!

Gray is going to be sorry he never took dance lessons with me. Wow! It's so much fun!!!!

He would dislike it even more because my teacher is at least 20 years younger than him and he's very demonstrative...I have no idea if all dancers or all teachers are that way but mine is. I don't mind. It's not sexual at all. Just a hug and a kiss on the cheek after a wonderful dance session.

I finally got my Boogie Shoes last week so now I'm dancing in heels instead of flats. And I can still dance! Woo-hoo!! I'm going to have to build up some heel callouses, though. Terrible blisters, but I kept dancing!! Luckily our session was over before I wore through another layer of flesh. LOL!

So...in other news:

Mr. Gray didn't make the support payment again when he was supposed to so he got yet another "scolding" from my Doberman. Gray's XW said that Gray is going to do this until it's time to go back to court. Yeah, he'll do it until my Doberman gets fed up with the game and hauls his butt in. LOL!

Why he wants to risk that is beyond me! But it doesn't bother me at all. Not like he thinks it probably does. Just a petty game from a petty mind that used to be sweet and creative. What a shame.

I'm hoping that someday he will straighten up his act for the kids. They are suffering way more than I am. I am there for them as much as I can be. I have given money to ODS and DIL to help them out and I'm going to do so again. Even my sister helped them out a bit.

Meanwhile, Gray spends whatever money he has left on his "hobby."
What a world, what a world!! Just wait until Dorothy throws that bucket of water on him and he starts to melt!!

As far as OWH is concerned, I haven't heard a thing. He can call me if he wants to but I guess he's just doing his thing. My Doberman asks about him once in a while. He said he's going to call him and see how he's doing and what's up. He knows I'm not going to call OWH because OWH will likely want to talk about the infidels and I have no desire to know what's going on in Affair Land.

What I DO know is that Gray has been online a LOT! Even in the wee hours. His IM hasn't been idle either, so he's been talking to someone. I told my Doberman that maybe he has another girlfriend. My Doberman said, "Well, she lives with him, doesn't she?" I said, "Yeah. But that didn't stop him before, did it?" LOL! "You're right!!!" he says, and we had a good laugh.

It doesn't hurt me at all to talk about that. It even came up with my Mom not long ago. She didn't know that they were living together. I told my Doberman after I got the confirmation from my DIL. And that was it. I didn't tell anyone else. Well, except for my Doberman's paralegal. Just the two of them. Because even though I knew that they were probably cohabitating, it still irked me back then when it was confirmed by my DIL. Well, not anymore!

And I can see he's still up to his old tricks with the buy, buy, buy. I'm sure that makes him really popular. Even more so when their apartment gets more and more full of CRAP!!!

I'm still working on inventory at home. It's a long, slow process but little by little, step by step, it's getting done. I thank my Guardian Angels, the Man above and my lucky stars that I gave that parting shot to my Doberman before the hearing about that stuff! And that he remembered, too. I was walking out of his door when I brought it up.

Yeah, Plan B is the way to go. Removed from the garbage dump, you will soon notice that the odor is going away! And you will come out of the whole mess smelling like a rose!!

I used to roll my eyes at those old cliches about the Phoenix rising from the ashes...the rose rising out of the manure...but ya' know what? They are SPOT ON.

My life just keeps getting better. And the better it gets, the less I want to have anything at all to do with Gray. I'm starting to think that maybe this whole thing was a wake-up call from God...that no matter what condition I was in, this A would have happened. I think Gray just can't form any lasting bond with anyone, not even his children.

One night his XW and I were psychoanalyzing him through text messaging. LOL! She thinks he's this way because he just didn't have a lot of affection from his parents while growing up. I think that because they moved around so much during his early years that that may have added to it. We are probably both right.

Clearly he needs professional help. I really hope he gets it someday.

Meanwhile, his wife keeps learning and growing while he stagnates in the Bog of Eternal Stench. The Goblin King has no power over me. If he thinks he does he is sadly mistaken. There is absolutely NOTHING he can do to me that will affect me. That's over.

I think I'll be able to...NO...make that...I KNOW I'll be able to go into court with my head held high, nimble and light on my feet on dancer's legs, (LOL!) and face him with no problem at all. I pass the plate to my Doberman, which is as it should be, and I trust him implicitly, when I should have no business trusting anyone. I will not be needled into any arguements with Gray or Emperor Palpitine. They will NOT get my goat!

And all of this is thanks to everyone here who came to my rescue when my world was falling apart. I can never thank all of you enough for giving me the courage to do what needed to be done. I don't know how to repay. I don't know how to BEGIN to repay God for all of the blessings he has given me. And that was AFTER I stopped talking to Him for a really long time after a family tragedy. I thought He didn't care about me. I was wrong. I am sorry.

He led me here to all of you. And since that day I have been more alive than I have been in years. Maybe EVER! I told a friend I was reinventing the wheel but my sister said it better. Rebirth. And that's what it has been.

Thanks so much to everyone here!!!!!!! Gigantic hugs all around!!!!!

I will be FOREVER grateful to all of you and all of my wonderful new friends that have been found because of this situation. New bonds forged out of the pit of hell. New bonds with new people and new bonds with family. All made stronger.

I think I'll be able to read that lady's book now. The one with the title that's something along the lines of, "My Husband's Affair was the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me." Something like that. I'm sure we have all seen that book when searching for books on affairs and marriage. LOL!

Heck, maybe I'll write one myself! I've been getting a lot of that lately, compliments on my writing. I've written since I could write. Even my Doberman asked me where I learned to write like I do. I've had no formal training, though. So maybe I'll take classes in creative writing along with the culinary arts. (Because my sister will hound me FOREVER if I don't go to culinary school! She's always going on and on about how my cakes are so much better than some dude on the Food Network.) Okay, so I'll be the Dancing Chef Writer, the Writing Dance Chef...oh yeah, and I'm still going to get my pilot's license so...the Dancing Chef Writer Pilot. LOL! Something like that!

Then again, I almost went to law school some years ago until I changed my mind. So who knows? I would go into criminal law, though, probably. I'd have to be a prosecuting attorney, though. I've thought about it so much because my uncle was murdered when I was 5 years old. By his "best friend." Over a woman. And the "friend" only received 10 years probation. So that's always been a thing with me.

I don't know what the future holds but there's a whole big ol' world out there just waiting to be discovered!

Which is why I'm wondering if this whole thing wasn't a wake up call from God for ME. Or maybe it was for Mr. Gray? Maybe both. At any rate I guess I'd better sign-off for now! This might be the longest post I've ever written. (Maybe, I can't recall at the
moment...but if not the longest, then well...dang close!)

Sorry for rambling on. (There I go, thinkin' I'm Robert Plant again! LOL!)

Oh yeah, just one more thing, Columbo...I had a wonderful week because my nieces got to come for a visit from CA. They are 7 now. My Mom spent a small fortune on plane tickets for a short amount of time but it was so wonderful! So much better than the last time they visited, which was not very long after D-Day.

WOW! What a difference this time!!!

So, again, if anyone has any lingering doubts about Plan B, wipe them away without any fear!! You CAN do this! You WILL heal! With or without your WS, you WILL make it! And it is WONDERFUL!!

Have a great weekend, All!!!

Charlotte

Charlotte....YOU ARE AN INSPIRING WOMAN!!!!!

It's so wonderful to hear how good things are going. You have found a new life that is filled with happiness. Awesome.

Dancing huh? I've thought many times about taking a lesson. It would definitely be out of my comfort zone, but it looks like fun!

You keep going girl! You are amazing!
Quote
Charlotte....YOU ARE AN INSPIRING WOMAN!!!!!

It's so wonderful to hear how good things are going. You have found a new life that is filled with happiness. Awesome.

Dancing huh? I've thought many times about taking a lesson. It would definitely be out of my comfort zone, but it looks like fun!

You keep going girl! You are amazing!

blush Aw, shucks, MicheleG!!!

Thank you!!!!! You made me feel so good!!!

Oh, you should take a lesson!! I'm sorry I waited so long!! I was waiting for Jonesy to take lessons with me...I should have gone ahead long, long ago!!!

It's GREAT!!!!

There's a really beautiful lady at the studio who is a dancer and she's going to be in a competition over the weekend. If I can even get to be HALF as good as she I will be over the moon!!

You know that saying...about "Tripping the Light Fantastic?" Oh, Man!! That is her!! She moves like the wind...and she's so graceful and happy...like she could dance 24 hours a day and never sleep or eat!!!

WOW!!! I love to watch her and her partner. Watching them, it's hard to pull your eyes away.

But yeah, I thought I'd be self-conscious about dancing but that didn't even bother me. I was surprised. Happily surprised! Still working on those hip moves, though! LOL! I'm hoping that the belly dancing will make me a little less inhibited as far as that goes.

Otherwise...no problem! I've even started to get bold enough to add a little flair!!! LOL!!!

Now I just need to get my Doberman back over there before he works himself to death! He told me the other day that he'd started lessons over there with his paralegal but he quit because of time constraints.

I was like...at THAT studio? You are pulling my leg!! LOL!!!

It was so funny because I researched every studio in town before deciding to go with that one. Small world I guess! LOL!!

Yeah...and I lucked out with my teacher too because he is not promiscuous like a lot of dancers are. Not all, but a lot. He even quit dancing for a while because he got disgusted with all of that nonsense. But he came back because he loves dance. We had a long discussion about that one day and I felt so much better after that and more relaxed.

I knew that I was in the right place when I found out what his name was. LOL! I told him about that, too. I told him the whole Gray situation.

He knows that if he ever gets married he'll have to give up dance. Unless his wife is a dancer. So he'll either never be married or he'll have a dancer wife! I hope it works out for him. He's such a nice guy. And so wise beyond his years.

And yeah, at this point in Mr. Gray's life, my teacher is more mature than Mr. Gray. 20+ years younger and more mature. Well, I don't know why that even surprises me. LOL!

Well, there I go, rambling again!

It's funny you posted to me this a.m. I was just messing around and went to my first post here in GQII and saw that you were the first one to post to me here. And here you are!

I don't even know why I'm still up. I probably slept an hour last night. My sister drove my nieces and my Mom to the airport and they left around 5:30 so we were all up late anyway...and that was AFTER we took the girls riding yesterday. Even my DIL came over. It was a beautiful day! One of those days where it seems like everything is in harmony. The planets are in alignment and everything is beautiful.

Well, I'd better bug out or I'll just keep "talking" and typing away! LOL!

Have a wonderful weekend!
GO CHARLOTTE!! smile
Thank you, Sunshine!!!

I'm doing it! Full speed ahead! Devil take the hindmost!!

grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine The ol' Gray update - 04/02/08 08:46 AM
Guess what?

Gray's XW is 3 for 3 now. He didn't make the support deposit again!

Suprised? Me either!

Each time he does this the balloon loses more air. I care less and less. Games, games and more games. I mean, it doesn't upset me at all but here I am having to be the adult (No fair!) while he tries to get at me in petty little ways.

As IF that is even going to work!

Tell ya' what....my Doberman is going to chew him up and regurgitate him. (Don't want to digest that alien, might get a stomach ache!)

I just don't give a hoot. (And I don't pollute! LOL! Sorry, hearing that so often back in the day just naturally brings the rest of the line to the fore!)

It is now April. We go back to court next month! I'm kinda nervous but not scared nervous.

It will be here before you know it! Oh boy!

And I STILL haven't found the PERFECT dress!! I may end up cobbling something together out of the closet. We'll see.

In other news:

Gray removed the photo that he was trying to taunt me with from his Yahoo IM profile. I was going to show it to DIL the other day and it was gone.

I don't know if it means anything or not as far as Affair Land goes.

I haven't been in touch with OWH at all. My Doberman is going to call him, though. I just have to decide whether or not I want him to tell me what OWH says. I AM curious. So we'll see. Maybe, maybe not.

We already know that Gray is a very unhappy camper. So it doesn't really matter, I guess.

Well, back to the trenches! I'm up late working on inventory. Might as well stay up the rest of the night now. LOL!

Have a great day, All!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 05:29 PM
Well, I decided to come and post. I didn't realize it had been so long. A record? Maybe.

As per usual, Mr. Gray didn't make the last spousal support deposit on time. So far we are 4 for 4. Good thing I did not place any bets with his XW!!

We go back to court next month. I don't know the date yet. I should find out on Thursday.

A new development in the Gray saga that's happened since I last posted is this:

All of a sudden, I started receiving packages from items he bought off of eBay. He has been buying for months but all of a sudden they started coming to my house.

So I took them to my Doberman. A week later I had more packages to take to my Doberman, along with the inventory list. One of the packages even came through UPS instead of the USPS.

It was funny because I mentioned that I received another package to my DIL in a phone text. She sent back that he had called about the packages.

I didn't answer her text. I took the new lot of packages to my Doberman. At first I thought I would pick the others up if they were still there and take all of them to DS and DIL's.

But...my Doberman said he was going to call and make Mr. Gray come and pick them up from his office. So I left all of the packages there. Really, it's a closer drive to my Doberman's office for Mr. Gray than it is driving all the way out in the sticks here. LOL! He just has to go into "enemy" territory! LOL!

I found out yesterday that in his phone call to DS and DIL he said he was in town "on business" here on that day. But DIL didn't know anything about the packages and I had hauled booty out of town by then. So she said Mr. Gray got "snippy" about it. (I'm betting he made a special trip out for the packages, not that he had any business here. So is DIL. Oh well!)

I was like....LMAO!!!! I'm so GLAD I left those packages at my Doberman's now!

She also said he stated that he would make a special trip out to see DS, DIL and "the kid," which upset DIL because he didn't even use DGS's name.

Really...am I supposed to care? I told my Doberman I could always add the stuff to the never-ending inventory!! LOL! But no. I took care of the packages and kept them safe. Which is a lot more than DIL and my Doberman's PL said they'd do. Let's see: Leave them outside, throw them in the river, etc. etc.

I said, "Gee, and I thought I was being mischevious by taking them to my Doberman! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!

So anyway, I haven't received any this week. I did notice that he still had the address up in eBay over the weekend. I haven't been back to check since, though. He might have changed it back again.

I guess I'll find out if he picked up his packages on Thursday. LOL! I normally go by my Doberman's on the way to belly dancing to drop off inventory and other paperwork. If they are still there...that is where they will stay. I am NOT hauling them back here.

He is going to HAVE to go get them. And here I am, entertaining thoughts of telling DIL to pass along that my Doberman has a trial this week so if Gray goes by there in the a.m. he won't see him. That was the other day, when I was thinking that.

Then I came to my senses. Heck no I'm not sending any messages through anyone! My Doberman is taking care of it and if Gray doesn't like it then he shouldn't be playing stupid games. WTH was he thinking by doing this? For what purpose? He tells DS and DIL it was an accident?! The HECK it was! Not when it just started all of a sudden after months of other purchases went directly to him. Hah!

Let's see...I'm still learning dance with the same teacher. It's getting a lot easier and so much more natural now. And belly dancing is good, too, even without the one-on-one like I have otherwise. I think with belly dancing it's better with a class at first anyway. It sure helps with the self-conscious thing. I haven't had a problem yet!

I noticed the other day that I have a 2-pack now!! Wow! I can't remember the last time I saw that! I guess I'll have to keep dancing for my 6-pack!! LOL!!

But seriously, the exercise is great and I feel great all of the time! I wouldn't mind losing about 10 pounds before the hearing but it's not that big of an issue. My legs told me so. LOL!! Gray's eyes will pop out and roll away on the floor! He always had a thing for my legs so READ 'EM AND WEEP, BABY!! WOOOOO!!

Everybody around me is on a diet, it seems. My Mom and coworkers are having a "Biggest Loser" competition. My Doberman wants to lose 30 pounds or so. I think my dance teacher is the only one NOT dieting! LOL! He doesn't need to, though.

Yeah, Gray would probably burst a blood vessel if he saw us dancing. LOL! Especially the Tango!! WOO!!! LOL!!!

Well, I think that's everything I had to report. Oh yeah, I finished my Doberman's thank you gift. 10,500+ beads!! Wow! It was fun and now I miss working on it. I still have to mount it, though. I haven't quite decided how exactly to mount it. It's going to have to be something open, not under glass, though. There will be those who will want to touch the beads.

Well, ta for now!

Take care, All!!

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 07:25 PM
Quote
Really...am I supposed to care? I told my Doberman I could always add the stuff to the never-ending inventory!! LOL! But no. I took care of the packages and kept them safe. Which is a lot more than DIL and my Doberman's PL said they'd do. Let's see: Leave them outside, throw them in the river, etc. etc.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm what could this all be about? If he is living with OW, whyever would he have those packages sent to your house??

What do you think is going on?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 08:01 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Quote
Really...am I supposed to care? I told my Doberman I could always add the stuff to the never-ending inventory!! LOL! But no. I took care of the packages and kept them safe. Which is a lot more than DIL and my Doberman's PL said they'd do. Let's see: Leave them outside, throw them in the river, etc. etc.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm what could this all be about? If he is living with OW, whyever would he have those packages sent to your house??

What do you think is going on?

Hi, Mel! Good to see ya! grin

Your guess is good as mine on that one! That's the $25,000.00 question! Even Dobie couldn't come up with a good answer for that one! And he's accustomed to nut jobs! LOL!

I'd be happy if you or someone else would like to offer a suggestion!

Surely he isn't thinking that I'd talk to him? He KNOWS I'm not going to! Surely he knew I'd take the packages straight to Dobie like the rest of his mail? He never comes to see the kids so why would I think otherwise to take it to them?

I don't know. Maybe he's trying to get me to think about him?

I gotta tell ya', the last 2 or 3 dreams I've had with him in them...I've been in complete control. There was no him trying to trick me like in previous dreams!

I gotta go with that! Coming from the subconscious and all!

Well anyway...drop any suggestions in the box by the door with the slot on top!!!!

LOL! wink
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 09:29 PM
What about this: for some reason he needs to HIDE his purchases from the OW. Maybe he is spending too much and they are fighting about money so he has the stuff sent home so she won't know. That way he can pick the stuff up and sneak it in? What do you think?

WAS he having this stuff sent to his Ho-house previously?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 10:13 PM
Yeah, that sounds like a good guess, Mel! Yeah, he was having it sent there and to his work address.

That could be because I'm SURE he's gone through his half of the bonus long ago. Heck, he might even be using her credit cards! Can't use ours...they're all dead! LOL!

Since he probably has so much over there already, yeah, he could be thinking he could sneak more in without her noticing. Of course, if she checks his eBay account she would see things but then again he doesn't always buy off of eBay. He buys off of the hobby bulletin boards and knows lots of people through the newsletter that he could buy from. And sell to, for that matter.

I guess I'll find out tomorrow whether he's picked up the stuff I left at Dobie's. LOL! If it's still there I'm just gonna fall over laughing! LMAO!!

And if he DID pick it up I wonder if he said anything to anyone. If Dobie is or was there when Gray goes or went, all he's going to do is be his friendly self. He'll ask how Gray is doing and probably offer his hand for a handshake. LOL! Wellllllll...I guess that's a *maybe* on the handshake. He does not like what Gray has done and is doing, especially where the kids are concerned so he may just say "Howdy-do?" LOL! Dobie's PL on the other hand...well, she might say something. Unless Dobie asked her not to.

So curious! Well, either way I'll have a laugh so whatever! LOL! Then I'll be off to work on my 6-pack at belly dancing!! LOL! Soon I can do commercials with Chuck Norris and Christie Brinkley. Har har har!!!

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 10:26 PM
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
That could be because I'm SURE he's gone through his half of the bonus long ago. Heck, he might even be using her credit cards! Can't use ours...they're all dead! LOL!

muhahahahhahahaha this is what I am thinking. I bet he is out of money and is having to borrow money from her. He may have opened up a new CC and doesnt want her to know how much he is spending.

What if I sent her an email - as your IM - and told her to please tell WS to stop having all of his ebay purchases sent to your house? Please have them sent to her house instead.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 11:17 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
That could be because I'm SURE he's gone through his half of the bonus long ago. Heck, he might even be using her credit cards! Can't use ours...they're all dead! LOL!

muhahahahhahahaha this is what I am thinking. I bet he is out of money and is having to borrow money from her. He may have opened up a new CC and doesnt want her to know how much he is spending.

What if I sent her an email - as your IM - and told her to please tell WS to stop having all of his ebay purchases sent to your house? Please have them sent to her house instead.

Oh...oh...oh...FOTFFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!! Laughing...crying...laughing...laughing...guts hurting....

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!

I think that's a GRAND idea, Mel!!! LMAO!!!

I think that would be just as fine as paint!!!!!!! LOL!!!

Be sure to CC Mr. Gray while you're at it!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

grin grin grin grin laugh laugh laugh laugh
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/23/08 11:52 PM
Course, that might cause some bad lovebustin! whoops! laugh laugh
Posted By: MicheleG Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/24/08 12:28 AM
Awesome idea!!!!! You two are too much!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/25/08 08:31 PM
Originally Posted by MicheleG
Awesome idea!!!!! You two are too much!!!

Yeah, but it's fun!!! grin wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/25/08 08:34 PM
Well, I just received word from my Shiny Attorney. Our next court date is May 13th!!!
Bring it OAN, Cletus!!! Bring it OOOOOAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/26/08 11:22 PM
Well, gee, I see no one broke any legs to post any well wishes. That's okay. I'll live. I'm still alive even though Mr. Gray did what he did so I guess I can live through this.
Posted By: mimi_here Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/26/08 11:38 PM
What is OAN??..

Oh, I just got it..

Texas accent?
Posted By: Miss M Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 12:04 AM
((((((hugs))))))Charlotte!!!

You will get thru this, and it will be a relief one way or another with the court date.

Just wish Mr. Gray would get his head out of his nether regions and see what he will be losing. His loss.

You are beautiful, have a wonderful sense of humor, and are WORTHY. Don't forget that. smile

Best wishes,

Love in Christ,
Martha
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 01:09 AM
Originally Posted by mimi_here
What is OAN??..

Oh, I just got it..

Texas accent?

laugh LMAO!!!

Yeah. Lots of folks here say, "Come oan, already!" for "come on."

Not me, though.

LOL! grin

(Only for special circumstances. ;))
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 01:13 AM
Originally Posted by Miss M
((((((hugs))))))Charlotte!!!

You will get thru this, and it will be a relief one way or another with the court date.

Just wish Mr. Gray would get his head out of his nether regions and see what he will be losing. His loss.

You are beautiful, have a wonderful sense of humor, and are WORTHY. Don't forget that. smile

Best wishes,

Love in Christ,
Martha

Thank you, Martha.

And you're right. He will have a huge loss. And I can say that now and mean it. It has weight. It's no longer something to say or hear others say in order to make me feel better. It's for real.

And I know he's going to be a huge jerk about everything. I'm certain he has something up his sleeve for the hearing.

But I'm not worried a'tall. I'm in good hands.

Thank you for your kind words. I am strong. I will stay strong. He cannot bring me down any longer.
Posted By: RIF Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 02:30 AM
Hey Charlotte!

Just wanted to stop by and say "Howdy"!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 07:12 AM
Originally Posted by RIF
Hey Charlotte!

Just wanted to stop by and say "Howdy"!

Semper Fi,

RIF

RIF!!!

It's so great to see you!!! I was just wondering earlier where you've been hiding because I haven't seen you around in a long time.

And....here you are!!!!

Thanks for stopping in!!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: RIF Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 08:32 AM
Hey Charlotte!

I changed jobs around the end of February and I've been very busy... I'm still here and will be over here for about another year.

I'm usually in the office until 2030-2100 every night so by the time I get back to my room, I usually just go right to bed... I had to bow out of my night-shift jobs in Idiotvill and on Acey's Vacation thread...

I still think of everyone here and I hope things are getting better for you!

Semper Fi,

RIF
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 04/27/08 02:21 PM
OK May 13th...I will put it on my calendar!!!

I'm glad you finally feel what we've been "seeing". You are a good, funny, strong, witty woman. And he will lose SOOOOOO much, he's just too brain dead to see it.

Now you're talking!!!!

You're da bomb Charlotte!
Posted By: schoolbus Re: SSDD and something new... - 04/27/08 06:14 PM
I would send the email to the OW.

If she already knows, then no harm done, except your voice gets to enter affairland and that always causes a stir grin.

If she doesn't know, then you get to throw a little bomb into affairland smile.


In the email, NEVER use his name. Just call him "him", "your boyfriend", or "my STBXH", or something like that. It is just very distancing, annoying, and real when you refuse to use his name.

SB
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/02/08 09:13 PM
Hi RIF!

Mo bettah dan gooooood!!

Better every day! I would have never believed it had you told me that when I showed my ugly mug here on this forum in October. LOL!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/02/08 09:14 PM
ITA, MicheleG!!

He'll come draggin' his lousy carcass along and all I'm going to do then is direct him to the nearest rehab center!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: SSDD and something new... - 05/02/08 09:17 PM
Originally Posted by schoolbus
I would send the email to the OW.

If she already knows, then no harm done, except your voice gets to enter affairland and that always causes a stir grin.

If she doesn't know, then you get to throw a little bomb into affairland smile.


In the email, NEVER use his name. Just call him "him", "your boyfriend", or "my STBXH", or something like that. It is just very distancing, annoying, and real when you refuse to use his name.

SB

Hi SB!!

Thank you for the advice! Mel sent the email and got a reply full of denials that he didn't do it on purpose, etc. etc. ad nauseum. LOL!!

That's a buncha bs because he HAD to have changed it back to MY address in order for this to happen. eBay bears that out. Archives, Baby!!!

She CC'ed Slag and I believe she was right on the money about him trying to hide the stuff because when he wrote back he asked Mel to use one of the addresses ONLY for future correspondence. Unless I tell her to, whatever that means!

So yep, he was outed.

LMAO!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 05/02/08 09:28 PM
Well, I hope this is short but you know me!

Mr. Gray FINALLY picked up his packages from my Doberman. On Wednesday.

Dobie's paralegal said: "He had some young girl with him."

I almost fell over laughing!!!! FOTFFLMFAO!!!!!!!

The way she said it made it sound like Slag was 10-years-old or something!!!!! LOL!!

I told her, well, it was probably her, then. You should have seen the look on her face!!! OH...Kodak Moment, Baby!!!

She told me Mr. Gray looks SO OLD. I said, "Yeah, he MADE HIMSELFold.

So here I am, looking younger and fit from all the dancing. WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO, Baby!! Ya cain't touch dis!!!!!!

This is going to be intewesting. Vewy, VEWY intewesting!!

Especially since I found THE suit and THE perfect shoes for the occasion!!

Forest green...DAHHHHLING little suit.....skirt is cut about 2 inches above the knees but my butt brings it up about 3 inches above the knees. LOL!!!

Yep!! I'll be respectable and ALL business but still able to show off my new dancin' bod!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Eyeballs will be rolling out of eyesockets and bouncing down the stairs!!!!!!

All I need is my teacher there to promenade up the courthouse steps!! Or in lieu of the Latin Hot Tamale, my Dobie.

I saw LHT last night before I went to belly dancing class. He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Gee, he sure knows how to make a little old lady like me feel good! LMAO!!!!

See, Gray? I didn't curl all up into myself like a dying spider and die and dry out and blow away in the wind!!

I'm ALIVE!!!!! ALIVE!!!!!

("It's alive......ALIVE!!!!!!" shouted Dr. Frankenstein.)

LOL!!

And Gray had to go into "enemy territory", nyeh nyeh neh nyeh nyeh!!! My Doberman's Domain, his lair...his parlor...

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: schoolbus Re: Update - 05/04/08 01:36 AM
Of course he denied it.

He's lying to her, lying to you, lying to himself.


His little world will crumble. Sooner or later.


Too bad he might just lose the best thing he ever had.


SB
Posted By: Miss M Re: Update - 05/04/08 08:02 AM
Dahhling,

You will be so awesome, but at the same time, be humble.

I was just wondering how plan B has been working for you. Seems like you are doing great!!!!

Do you still have love for your WS?

I feel so sorry for him cause he never came to you and let you know that all the issues you two had that were hard for him to handle.

Any hooooo, you will be absolutely wonderful.

You are the best, and WORTHY. This is something my FWS has gotten, 100%, and has worked with me, and been incredibly patient.

Of course, I did not do it the right way, but you have. Lucky you to have discovered MB before I did.

You are OK grin

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/09/08 08:30 PM
Originally Posted by schoolbus
Of course he denied it.

He's lying to her, lying to you, lying to himself.


His little world will crumble. Sooner or later.


Too bad he might just lose the best thing he ever had.


SB

Awww....thank you, schoolbus!! It's sweet of you to say so.

I am so blessed with all of you here and my family and friends, both old and new!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/09/08 08:37 PM
Originally Posted by Miss M
Dahhling,

You will be so awesome, but at the same time, be humble.

I was just wondering how plan B has been working for you. Seems like you are doing great!!!!

Do you still have love for your WS?

I feel so sorry for him cause he never came to you and let you know that all the issues you two had that were hard for him to handle.

Any hooooo, you will be absolutely wonderful.

You are the best, and WORTHY. This is something my FWS has gotten, 100%, and has worked with me, and been incredibly patient.

Of course, I did not do it the right way, but you have. Lucky you to have discovered MB before I did.

You are OK grin

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hi Miss M,

Thank you! Yeah, I'm always humble. I think that's why I felt the way I did after D-day when it felt wrong for me to use our checking account for a while...and that was for buying food for us and paying OUR bills!!

It was strange, I just felt like I didn't have the right to use it because I was no longer the significant other, someone else was.

I got over it!! LOL!!

But yeah, I need to keep the Goddess at the forefront for the hearing. So I re-read posts from you guys, my DIL pumps me up and I keep that at the forefront. It's kinda weird being a girly-girl. LOL! I forgot how much I love shoes and pretty dresses. We never really went anywhere so I didn't bother with such things.

Now I've been sticking to dresses when I go places. And heels. Lucky for me my toes are a lot stronger from dancing so heels aren't so much of a problem. LOL!!

Thank you for saying I am worthy. I need to remember that. I need to memorize Sally Field's speech from when she won an Oscar: "You like me! You really, really like me!!!"

LOL!!

Meanwhile, Gray will be saying the line from the Wayne and Garth movie: "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!!"

I think he'll trip out when he sees me. My suit is just right. Heck, I'm still tripping out because that little bit of extra tummy I had is gone. LOL!!!

It feels really good to be in good physical shape again. And it will only get better.

Well, enough jabbering on!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 05/09/08 08:55 PM
Well, I met with my Shiny Attorney yesterday. All the ducks are in a row!!

He received a response from the Dark Side about his motion. It was what you would expect.

I had quite an adventure after we parted ways last night. I went to class and everything was good until I went out to the car to leave and it wouldn't start. Dead battery. Ugh!

Well, I didn't freak out or start crying or anything like that. I started calling everyone and went back inside to look in a phone book for a wrecker that could give me a jump.

So the guy shows up and then he said he'd follow me to an Auto Zone so I could get a new battery. Well, we made it there but they couldn't change it because it's one of those goofy set ups where the battery is underneath stuff instead of on top like normal. Whoever thought of that lovely idea should be demoted.

So the wrecker guy jumps the car again (luckily the battery posts are at least within reach!)

He said he'd follow me to the freeway and I should be okay since there would be no stopping, etc.

We didn't make it and died in the middle of a busy street. So then the guy calls so the wrecker can be brought around to tow me home.

The whole thing only cost me $365 all told. Ha ha.

The wrecker guy asks me out. LOL!!!

I thanked him but told him that I am still married and I am not dating.

He knows my phone number now AND where I live because of having to tow the car here so I'm hoping that he's not going to be a bother about it.

I had to laugh, though. He thought I was 33!!

LMAO!!

I hope I look 33 on Tuesday!! LOL!! I will. I'm not under stress about it at all. I'm betting Gray is, though.

LOL!! I told my Shiny Attorney...well, I asked him what time he would arrive, etc., and I said, "I hope you don't get stuck in any elevators!" He got stuck in one in downtown Houston a few weeks ago.

He said, "What...are you trying to jinx me? I'll be sure and take the stairs!!"

LOL!! I said, "I would NEVER jinx you, but the thought DID cross my mind!!"

He's so funny! LOL!!

So I'm ready except for printing out a few things for Shiny before Tuesday.

I'll probably end up posting here again before then. And emailing Shiny a few times, LOL!

Like I told him, though, I don't expect anything from Gray other than him acting like a total jerk. He is not going to be able to get a rise out of me. I can take anything he will attempt to throw at me!!

So we'll be at the courthouse Tuesday, high noon (well, at 1:30, actually), in full battle armor!! Both shiny and ready to rock-n-roll!!

And I'm sure Gray will show up much the same as last time. I already know he looks really old and Shiny's paralegal was commenting on him again yesterday. Well, he made himself old!! I tried, I really did! He didn't have to fall into that mindset!

And I'm sure Slag will be with him as well. No problemo, Ahnuld! All is well!

Posted By: jayne241 Re: Update - 05/09/08 09:52 PM
Cool about the guy asking you out! Did you say "ask me again next week?" wink

(JK ya know!)

I'm glad you are doing so well. Now THAT's a great Plan B! Everybody should read your thread.
Posted By: schoolbus Re: Update - 05/09/08 10:17 PM
When you very first see WH, look him straight in the eyes. If you look away, or down, the body language signal sends the wrong thought to him, which would be weakness or a position of one below his. So to make him understand you are his equal, look at him right in the eyes.

If you want him back, look at his eyes, and concentrate on smiling softly without showing any teeth. Not a big smile. Then touch your neck. Keep your hands near your neck or face, or relaxed in front of you, in any manner - but with palms open (try to avoid making fists). That's all you need to remember to do. After that, act natural, which will be slightly nervous. The only message you need to deliver to him is the very first moment you two make eye contact, which is the message he will remember - make that one count.

If you do NOT want him back, show your teeth when you smile, smooth your clothing at the waist, and turn away rather abruptly. He will understand your meaning and you will not need to say anything. Avoid touching your hair or head when he looks at you the first time.

As for slag, I'm not sure how you want to make her feel. So here are ideas for a number of scenarios:

To make her feel less than you - look her body up and down so that she notices you have done it, then look away. No need to do anything further, because by looking away you have effectively dismissed her.

To make her feel completely and totally dismissed, look her direction just one time and make a face that expresses a questioning glance - as if you are saying to yourself "why is she here?" - and shake your head "no", look down, and then away. Be absolutely sure she sees you do this - and then do not look at her again, avoiding any glancing in her direction, any attempts by her to gain your attention, any attempts by anyone to acknowledge her presence. Look PAST her if needed, over her head, beyond her, anything but engaging her if there is cause to look her direction. If she speaks, ignore what she has said, and act as though there has actually been dead air, and respond only to the previous person's words, or open on another topic entirely. (I have done this to a person I work with, and for two years this person has been absolutely driven crazy by me. Only recently have I begun to say hello, and she has no idea now how to respond. This person had asked me to break a law two years ago, and I refused - she attempted to pillory me and demote me, and I stood up and reported her. She was punished, and I stood my ground against her railing against me - I have won, over time. Now, on MY terms, I will speak to her. She has not figured out what has happened to her, but this works like a miracle. She is powerless with me, and her former ability to ramrod and intimidate me is now completely useless.)

If you want to make her feel as though you have "the power" in the relationship between you and WH (and you do NOT want your WH back) - look her straight in the eyes, approach her, and tell her you are glad she is there, but sorry she might have to hear about how her own relationship with WH is likely to end - but maybe you will be able to "pay it forward" and save another woman the grief. Then, walk away proudly.

If you do not want to talk to slag at all, but want to convey a message that you feel sorry for her - just look at her and mouth the words "I'm sorry for you". Most women can read lips across a room quite well. She will easily get your meaning and will calm down.


I'm not sure where you come down on slag, or if you are in the point of your life where you are ready to D your WH. But you sure sound pretty strong, Charlotte, and if I were your WH, I don't think I'd be ready to face you!

You rock - and I can visualize you parading into that courtroom dressed to the nines, watching his eyes pop out of his head. He looks at slag, then at you, and with his much worn-out older mind thinks,

"what did I do???"

And you and your lawyer go to work.


Rock on.


SB


Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/10/08 12:57 AM
Hi schoolbus, thank you!

I'll have to think about this over the weekend and read it again and again.

I had already decided that I wouldn't be making eye contact with him and directing my answers only to my Shiny Attorney and the judge.

I am not going to be baited into any side Snidely Whiplash remarks from either Gray or Palpitine. My buttons are now moved. Gray can't get to them anymore.

As far as wanting him back? I don't think he would ever give up his drugs for me. And really, I didn't KNOW they were such a problem for him.

I guess I should have had a clue when he told me how many muscle relaxers he took before he married his XW, always making it sound like he did it because he didn't really want to marry her.

He didn't take any on our wedding day so I thought, okay, I guess we'll make it then.

Things were good but then he hurt his back at work and started taking the pills again, but he quit.

Then the last time he started taking them he just never stopped. Which of course got me into the "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" state of mind and I started taking them. But I QUIT. He hasn't apparently.

I guess I should have had a clue, really, because of the story he told me one time about how his Mom smuggled muscle relaxers out of Saudi Arabia for him.

I guess it's a case of: Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me, eh?

Oh, and I was planning on smiling with teeth because my choppers are in such good shape now. Well, I'll think everything over again over the weekend.

Thanks again!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Update - 05/10/08 04:20 AM
Hi Charlotte,

I'll be cheering for you. Knock 'em dead girlfriend.

Interesting stuff from Schoolbus. Wonder what the significance of teeth vs. no teeth is?? Also, touching the face vs. not. Wow, who would have known???

Anyway, you will be a goddess and will be reigning over the courtroom.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Update - 05/10/08 02:55 PM
I'm not as good with people body language, but dogs show their teeth when they're showing a warning, fear, or submission.
Posted By: schoolbus Re: Update - 05/10/08 09:11 PM
Dobie,

The teeth have to do with sex.


Think about it.


blush


You might want to show teeth in a different way when you smile, but in this particular case, I would recommend not, for the "peaceful" gesture.

And yeah, you're right - the teeth showing does have to do with anger and fighting. You can smile but mean aggression. Show teeth, not show teeth.

Different situations - sit and think about it! In this case, we were talking seduction . No teeth. But, you COULD smile and be pretty scary with no teeth too.

Body language is pretty useful stuff. The hard part is controlling it when you are talking to someone!!!!!!

SB
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/10/08 09:22 PM
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now I'm really confused.

But I can smile and flash choppers around if I don't even acknowledge him, right?

LOL!!

Yeah, I was thinking about the animal aspect of the whole thing with the teeth and all after you brought it up the first time.

I think it's just best if I ignore him. I'm in Plan B and I don't have to deal with him directly right now. Shiny will take care of that.

As far as when he drags himself over here to get his stuff? I haven't thought much about what I'm going to do aside from making sure it is all in one area near the door so he doesn't wander around in my home.

This is my sanctuary, at least for the present time, and I don't wish to be invaded by any hostiles.
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Update - 05/11/08 12:19 AM
LOL Schoolbus. I've seen some pretty scary smiles with no teeth. Now that's sexy. yuck!

I don't think we have to worry about Charlotte being submissive or anything. No dribbling Charlotte!
Posted By: mlhbisme Re: Update - 05/11/08 01:22 PM
when my ex finally came to get his things, like almost 2 YEARS LATER i had it ALL out on the front porch and lawn so he wouldn't have to set one foot in the house. the police were there as well to watch him take it.

i was NOT letting him this house ever again.

mlhb
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:24 PM
HAH!! He'll be the one dribbling and drooling when he gets a load of my dancing gams!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:25 PM
Hmmmm....that's a GREAT idea! I wonder if I can do that here? The only problem is the bulk of the stuff, especially inventory items.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:26 PM
Thank you, Chai!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:28 PM
LOL!! NO WAY, Freddo!!!

It's sweet and everything but I wouldn't go out with him even if I was unattached. Less than two minutes after he got there he is telling me, "You are hot!!" blah blah blah

Okay, sure, great for an ego boost but I know what would happen if I went out with him. I'd need a good supply of MACE!!!

Still hilarious that he thought I was 33, though! Gee, I hope I still look 33 tomorrow!!! LMAO!!!
Posted By: mlhbisme Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:32 PM
how old are you charlotte if you don't mind me asking??

mlhb
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:34 PM
You'll do fine tomorrow Charlotte. You are going to LIGHT UP THAT ROOM!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:51 PM
Hi mlhb,

No, I don't mind. I turned 42 on May 6th.

I feel a LOT younger, though. 20 years younger, at least. I think it's all of the physical activity. It's caused my circulation to get better and more blood flow to the brain. LOL!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 05/12/08 07:54 PM
Thank you, MicheleG!!

I will!! I WILL!!!!!

But only because I lightened my teeth and my hair is lighter from working in the garden in the sun, LOL!!!

No, but really. I WILL!!!!!

He hasn't seen me since December 15th. I look a LOT different physically. Thanks to dancing, mostly.

I already know he, "Looks SO old," thanks to Shiny's paralegal. And she brought it up again the last time I talked to her.

So yeah, that's it!! My Shiny Attorney will be shiny and so will I!!!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine LOL!! - 05/12/08 07:58 PM
I just called Shiny's office to ask about some paperwork for tomorrow.

His paralegal answered. I didn't think he would be there since he'd said he had to be in another county this a.m.

He called in while I was talking to his paralegal. LOL!! So funny!!

I still need to know if he's going to go in the front door or the back door of the courthouse. Last time I used the back door but it was only because I had parked closer to it. Funny, because OWH did, too. So the three of us left by the back door last time.

I DO know that his other case was rescheduled. I'm like, how in the heck will you be in two places at once? LOL!!

So *PHEW!!* on that one!! 'Cause the other case was pretty darn far away in a bigger county!!

Posted By: mlhbisme Re: LOL!! - 05/12/08 08:20 PM
wow, so you looked like 10 years younger! good for you girl!

mlhb
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LOL!! - 05/12/08 08:48 PM
Yeah! Thanks!

The vet's receptionist told me that a couple of months or so ago but now I have confirmation. LOL!!

It's because the stress and strain of carrying THEIR secret for SO LONG is GONE!!!!!!!!!

That's the main reason, I think.
Posted By: mlhbisme Re: LOL!! - 05/12/08 09:03 PM
because of my blonde hair and fair skin i get the younger card as well. i am 37 but people usually assume i am in my mid to late 20's...

hey, i will take it!

mlhb
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LOL!! - 05/12/08 09:15 PM
I hear that!! I'm in!!

Posted By: Miss M Re: LOL!! - 05/12/08 11:49 PM
Hey Charlotte,

Just wanted to let you know I'll be praying for you tomorrow, and wishing you the best. Remember you are WORTHY, and you deserve the best. grin

God Bless!
Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 04:54 AM
Originally Posted by Miss M
Hey Charlotte,

Just wanted to let you know I'll be praying for you tomorrow, and wishing you the best. Remember you are WORTHY, and you deserve the best. grin

God Bless!
Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thank you, Divine Miss M!!!!!!

I AM worthy!!!!! I DO deserve the best!!!!!

We are GOLDEN!!!!!!!!

Thank you!!!!!!

Yes, I was fortunate that God led me here and saved me from myself. I will be forever thankful!!!!

I just need to figure out how to repay!!!!

Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 04:58 AM
I don't know you very well, but you are quite an inspiration of strength and commitment to personal recovery.

I wish you all the best and will be praying for G-d protection of you tomorrow.

Posted By: MicheleG Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 11:00 AM
Hey Charlotte,
My calendar says that this is YOUR day!!!!! We'll be here cheering for you.

His eyes are going to POP out of his head. LOL!!!!
Posted By: Dobie Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 02:38 PM
I'm cheering for you too!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 03:42 PM
Thank you Queenie, MicheleG and Dobie!!

I'm not scared!! I'm doing great!!

I'm ready for all the mud he can sling!! I'm bringing my galoshes!!

Here we are:

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

We are going to the Death Star to face the Imperials. Soon the tractor beam will grab the Millenium Falcon and we will be captured. Inside there is the Emperor Palpitine and Mr. Gray, who, for all intents and purposes may as well be Darth Vader and wear the suit since he is destroying his health.

The Jedi Master (my Shiny Attorney) is going to rescue me (Princess Leia) from the evil clutches of the Imperials before they can whip out that droid interrogator on me!! EEK!!

He will effect a successful escape for us and we will blow up the Death Star!!!

(End title and credits)
Posted By: Dobie Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 04:18 PM
Ooh ooh ooh! Can I be an Ewok?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LOL!! - 05/13/08 04:39 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Ooh ooh ooh! Can I be an Ewok?

LMAO!!!!!!

Heck yeah!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Showdown at the O.K. Corral!!!!!! - 05/13/08 05:04 PM
I'm ridin' off now on my trusty steed!!!

To meet the gang at the town square for a duel!!!

Posted By: Dobie Re: Showdown at the O.K. Corral!!!!!! - 05/13/08 09:00 PM
Couldn't help myself!
Well, everything went GREAT!!!!

My Shiny Attorney TOTALLY ROCKS, Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get this: Mr. Gray even paid me a couple of compliments while I was on the stand.

Can you believe it?

LOL!!

And he didn't bring Slag. Gee, I was SO sure he would!

He lied on the stand about her living with him, though.

So the judge reduced the support payment some but he extended it through November.

And Mr. Gray has to come help me with it. He has to submit a schedule to my Shiny Attorney for my approval. He has to help me at least 24 hours a week.

So FUNNY!! My Shiny Attorney wore a green suit, too. I didn't tell him mine was green!! His was more of a moss green. But still green!!! Just like last time with the tie!! LOL!!

Mr. Gray wore green, too. From what I could see out of my peripheral vision.

And my Shiny Attorney used the talisman I gave him to protect him against the evil eye when he was questioning me on the stand. He also asked what dancing I was learning. LOL!!!

So I had to tell the court everything of course. Including the belly dancing, LOL!! I'm wondering if he asked me that just so Mr. Gray would hear about it.

LOL!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now what do I do with the rest of the day?

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
Originally Posted by Dobie

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
Now what do I do with the rest of the day?

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

I think some dark chocolate is in order!
Originally Posted by Dobie
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
Now what do I do with the rest of the day?

LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

I think some dark chocolate is in order!

LOL!!

I feel like dancin'!!!!!!!!!
Does he rock or does he rock!!!! I was fortunate that all he ever had to do for me was draw up papers and attend the final hearing, but he is just great, isn't he!! I am so glad he's doing a great job for you!

Regards,

BB
Originally Posted by Brit\'s Brat
Does he rock or does he rock!!!! I was fortunate that all he ever had to do for me was draw up papers and attend the final hearing, but he is just great, isn't he!! I am so glad he's doing a great job for you!

Regards,

BB

He TOTALLY rocks!! I told him so after the first time!! LOL!!!

He has become a very dear friend to me. I am very fortunate that things transpired the way they did and I found MB then you, then him.

He almost cracked me up a couple of times on the stand, though. I had to bite down on a big smile more than once. LOL!!!

Almost bit my tongue off!!!

I'm sure Gray would have enjoyed that seeing as how he and Slag are into slasher movies and such.

Nah, he's squeamish, though.

He had to admit that all of the inventory stuff was safer here than it would be in a warehouse. I was SO expecting him to say no!!!

That question was from Shiny. I told him more than once I want to keep the stuff here as long as possible or we aren't going to get anything out of it.

So now Gray is going to help and we are going to sell it on eBay.

Fun.

Wow, what a day!!!

Oh yeah!!

Gray's attorney tried to use the PBL against me.

He asked if I told him I would not talk to him and I said no. He asked if I gave him a letter and I said yes.

That I would not be able to be in contact with him while he was having an affair with ANYONE, it didn't matter WHO.

And that I was moving on with my life with him or without him.

So THERE!!!
I bet he NEVER expected it to be THIS long before he was rid of me!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Shiny Attorney RULES, Baby!!!!

If you are in my area and you need an attorney, PLEASE call me!!!

Or BB. LOL!!!

AHA!!!

I TOLD you we were going to blow up the Death Star!!!!!!

LMAO!!!!!

It was so funny...

I made my Shiny Attorney a talisman against the evil eye. I knew he'd be getting it from Gray and I'm sure he gets it a lot from OC.

I put it in the pocket on his lapel. Then when I was on the stand and I had mentioned that my cousin had sold some jewelry for me to OC, then passed to Shiny, the next thing I know he has it out and is asking me about it, if that was what I meant, etc.

He put it on the table and he made sure to grab it when we were putting my file back together. It's good luck now!!!

I have one, too. Mine is garnet. His is cobalt blue. I'm making some for his paralegals, too. I know they get the evil eye as well.

Too bad I only have 3 colors!! LOL!!!!


Beads rule!!

It's so cool that I've been feeling so creative and making things since Gray left. I can hardly believe it. And my cousin selling jewelry!! Wow!!

She works in a public arena so I told her I'd be making some pieces for her to wear to work. And she loves jewelry so it all works out!!

Me, I hardly wear jewelry so I'm not a very good walking advertisement!!

LOL!!

WooooHoooooo Charlotte!!!!!

You Rock!!!

So glad you got through this...and you nailed it. You get a 10!!!

Thank you MicheleG!!!

I couldn't have done it without all of you guys, my family and my Shiny Attorney!!

He shined the way for me to get through!! LOL!!!

Oh yeah, forgot to mention: Shiny got Gray to admit that the affair was going on while we were together. Ooh, public record, Baby!!

Oh yeah, and he sold his wedding ring, "to help pay for bills" he says. Yeah right! So Shiny asks him how much. LOL!!

Well, I'm open for suggestions on how to handle this upcoming 24 hours a week deal with Gray!

Obviously I'm going to have to break B in some way, shape or form!!

He is supposed to help me and we are supposed to work TOGETHER on this as per the judge.

I knew this would probably happen. I just didn't think much about how I was going to handle it.

Advice please!!!!! Pretty please? With cream and sugar and walnuts and rainbow colored sprinkles?
I knew you'd be ok. I remember that I was SO relieved to have it over with that I was smiling when I finally got out of the courtroom.
Thank you, cinderella!!

LOL!! I had trouble because I had to bite back smiling too much while I was IN the courtroom!! LOL!!

I didn't dare look at Shiny too much over there while Palpitine was questioning me. Shiny's over there with that "cat that ate the cream" smile again. I was afraid I'd start laughing.

He had it last time but I was too emotional then. I remembered it later, though.

And asking me about the dancing!! LOL!!! I think he just did that for Gray's benefit!! LOL!!!

Then the judge asked me about it when he asked me a couple of questions. LOL!!

And I remembered to sit up straight and not slouch!! The whole time I was on the stand. I only slouched for a couple of minutes when Gray was on the stand and I leaned back into the chair for a bit.

Charlotte

Court ordered huh? This is a little tough and we'll have to wrack our brains on this.

What does the judge mean by "together". There could be a lot of interpretation there...or not. "How" together would you have to be to do the job?

Do you have to be in the same room at the same time?

Can you do part of the job and leave and have Gray come in and do another part?

My thinking is that you can work on something(a project) together and still not be physically together, KWIM? What do you think the intent of the judge was? To get the job done with input from both of you or to get you in the same proximity?
I think you can split the job equally and make it so both of you know what the other is doing. So the job is done equally and with knowledge. You both do your fair share (which is cool cause you've been doing it all). And I think you can do it at different times so you don't have to be near him.

Set up the responsibilities through your interm... Who does what.

Would that break the rule? Does the judge want "togetherness"?
Quote
Charlotte

Court ordered huh? This is a little tough and we'll have to wrack our brains on this.

What does the judge mean by "together". There could be a lot of interpretation there...or not. "How" together would you have to be to do the job?

Do you have to be in the same room at the same time?

Can you do part of the job and leave and have Gray come in and do another part?

My thinking is that you can work on something(a project) together and still not be physically together, KWIM? What do you think the intent of the judge was? To get the job done with input from both of you or to get you in the same proximity?



Originally Posted by MicheleG
I think you can split the job equally and make it so both of you know what the other is doing. So the job is done equally and with knowledge. You both do your fair share (which is cool cause you've been doing it all). And I think you can do it at different times so you don't have to be near him.

Set up the responsibilities through your interm... Who does what.

Would that break the rule? Does the judge want "togetherness"?


Thanks MicheleG!!

I don't know what the judge was thinking. Gray's lawyer asked me on the stand if I would be opposed to someone helping me, like as in hiring someone.

Maybe the judge realizes I am reasonable. He saw the pictures of what I have already done and I explained how careful I have been and packed everything inventoried away very carefully and neatly.

I didn't think he would negate my work the way OC was trying to do. Trying to make me look dumb like I don't know how to do inventory. Duh! Whatever! I have done it before, just not in such a HUGE amount!!!

I tried to convey that on the stand, too. Because there is such a large amount of stuff and I can say that a thousand times and you just don't realize the magnitude until you have seen it.

Even I didn't know, and I live there!!

So Gray's attorney was blah blah blah about that and I said, "Well, I didn't go over on his side of the house very much!"

LOL!!

I'm sure he will try and manipulate me as much as he can but it's not going to work. I have moved my buttons and the proof was in the pudding yesterday!!

Oh he tried SO HARD to get my goat!! His lawyer, that is. Oh, ROTFLMAO!!!! If I am proud of the job I did then that is what I am most proud of!!!

I know Shiny was happy about it!! Almost got me in trouble!!! Smiling over there like the cat that ate the cream!!

LMAO!!!!!!


Charlotte, I'm so glad everything went so well for you.

I've gotta do that inventory thing too. Not looking forward to it. It's still sitting here on my desk.
LOL!! I'll trade you!! I'm at a little over 650 items and that's only his radio stuff!!!

I haven't been able to do anything else!!

Glad things went good for you! Ah, revenge is so sweet..........

As for having him help you, I think you are strong enough to do that. Unless there is a way you can do your part, and then he does his part.
Oooh, she's gonna love having him at your house 24 hours a week! She'll be LBing big time! Whether you decide you want him back or not, this'll be funny as heck!

Maybe the judge did know what he was doing. That's almost 2 1/2 times what Harley recommends as minimum recreational time together per week. Granted, it's not true recreational time, but working together will be...interesting.

I know that I have a tendency to wear really short shorts around my house during the summer. Do you?
Originally Posted by believer
Glad things went good for you! Ah, revenge is so sweet..........

As for having him help you, I think you are strong enough to do that. Unless there is a way you can do your part, and then he does his part.

Hi believer!

Thank you. I KNOW I can. And it's a point of honor now because 3 people have proclaimed their faith that I can handle it.

Me: "I can handle him."

My Shiny Attorney: "I KNOW you can!"

My DIL: "YES, you CAN!!"

My Mom: (LOL!) "Now YOU will end up being the OW!!"

LOL!! I was like, "MOM!!! I am NOT going to GO there!"

There will be NO hanky-panky. And he is going to have a VERY hard time, I can tell you that! LOL!!!

I am in great shape now and only getting in better shape with all of the dancing!

Originally Posted by Dobie
Oooh, she's gonna love having him at your house 24 hours a week! She'll be LBing big time! Whether you decide you want him back or not, this'll be funny as heck!

Maybe the judge did know what he was doing. That's almost 2 1/2 times what Harley recommends as minimum recreational time together per week. Granted, it's not true recreational time, but working together will be...interesting.

I know that I have a tendency to wear really short shorts around my house during the summer. Do you?

LOL!!! Yes it will!!

And indeed, intewesting.....vewy, VEWY intewesting!!!!!!!

Yes, I do tend to wear short shorts! LOL!! I think I might go pick up a few more pairs!! LOL!!!

Hee hee hee!!!! Rattle the cages!!!!



Posted By: Dancing_Machine LMAO!! - 05/16/08 07:19 PM
I just got off the phone with OWH. He called to invite me to a concert next week because he remembered I like that band a lot.

I already have tickets, though. Darn! LOL!!
Posted By: Dobie Re: LMAO!! - 05/17/08 03:34 PM
Do you mean he wanted you two to go together?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LMAO!! - 05/17/08 05:54 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Do you mean he wanted you two to go together?

Yep! He sure did! At first I thought he was calling to get the goods about the hearing but it turns out that Slag didn't tell him about the hearing.

He asked me if I had tickets to the concert and/or if I am going and I said yes.

There was a pause and I said...go ahead, what were you going to say? (or something to that effect)

And he said, well, I was going to invite you!!

Awwww.....LOLOLOLOLOL!!!

Darn!!!

Well, I wish I would have known, said I.

He said that the station had only recently been able to get tickets and he wasn't sure that they'd be getting them or he would have called sooner.
Posted By: Going_Forward Re: LMAO!! - 05/18/08 01:55 AM
Charlotte, great to see you're doing so well!! Now, NO short skirts around Mr. Gray. It has to be a dancin' legging of sorts.
You just do NOT know when them dancer's leg cramps are gonna hit
and you may just have to stand up and stretch them gorgeous gams
plum up past your head!!! Get it?? It's your turn to make him pay without saying a word to him other than "can't touch this"
thanks to MC Hammer!!! You Go Girl!! GF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: LMAO!! - 05/18/08 05:21 PM
Originally Posted by Going_Forward
Charlotte, great to see you're doing so well!! Now, NO short skirts around Mr. Gray. It has to be a dancin' legging of sorts.
You just do NOT know when them dancer's leg cramps are gonna hit
and you may just have to stand up and stretch them gorgeous gams
plum up past your head!!! Get it?? It's your turn to make him pay without saying a word to him other than "can't touch this"
thanks to MC Hammer!!! You Go Girl!! GF

Thank you, GF!!

What? Who? Me?

Short skirts? Nah. LOL!!! whistle

I almost wished I had looked at Gray when Shiny asked me the dancing question!! LOL!!

Especially when the last part of the answer was belly dancing!!

I forgot to ask him why he asked that one. I didn't specifically request anything from him but then he knows all about Gray's addiction, etc.

This is why I'm getting a copy of the transcript. It's like some insane sitcom!! LOL!!

I am just going to be myself when Gray is here. No need to put on airs, etc. If he's a jerk, he's a jerk.

He can't hold onto that with me forever.

But I'm not going to discuss relationships, etc. This is ALL business!!

Except for the business wear!! wink

Hmmmmm....I really need more blouses that show off my midriff, though. It's astounding how quickly belly dancing gets you in shape and I've only been doing an hour a week!! (Besides practicting at home, that is!)

If he tries anything I'll just knock him out with my toe. LOL!! The toes are sporting 6-packs!! LOL!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 05/21/08 04:55 PM
Well, well, well.....

What do we have here?

Several conclusions can be drawn from this.

My Shiny Attorney received a proposal from the Dark Side.

The short of it is he is doing everything he can to get me to agree to this proposal. Offering all sorts of things.

To me this says:

a. He doesn't want to do the work that needs to be done at my home.

b. SHE does NOT want him around me. After talking to OWH the other day I know this is a certainty. And it's compounded by her insecurity in this illicit relationship they are in. (Especially if he mentioned to her that I am dancing and belly dancing, LOL!)

c. Of course part of it is that he doesn't want to provide
me with spousal support but what percetage of it do you think that really is?

Before I even returned the call to Shiny's and found out what the proposal is about, my answer was NO! It is still: NO!!

And when I see it with my own eyes tomorrow, it will still be:

NO!!!! And NO, and NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!!!

So what do ye all tink 'bout dat one?

My Shiny Attorney: "Does he think you're stupid, or sumthin'?"

LOL!! LMAO!!

Stupid is as stupid does, Forrest. And stupid is thinkin' I'M stupid enough to fall for this stuff he's shovelin'!! It is b-llsh-t of the purest ray serene, Y'all!!!!!!

He chose to have the affair that torpedoed our marriage. He left me to clean up this ridiculous mess of his with his hobby stuff. It was and is still such a disaster, (although to be fair it is much less of a disaster), that I was excited because I could close a closet door yesterday that has been open for YEARS!!!!!! In his hobby room.

Posted By: Still_Crazy Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/21/08 05:02 PM
Charlotte I have only poste to you a couple of times, but i just wanted to say keep up the good work!!!

Also i find it quite humorous that Mr Gray's OW doesn't want him to be around YOU. I guess she is afraid that you will become the OW. Too bad for her!!!
Posted By: Tyk Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/21/08 05:05 PM
Buy a stripper pole using his ebay account. Perhaps have it sent to the wrong address on accident.

Did I say that out loud? oops. .

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/21/08 05:08 PM
Thanks, Still!!

Yeah, me too!!!! LOL!! I am still ROTFLMAO!!!

Awwwwww.....ain't that just too bad??!!!!

WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/21/08 05:10 PM
Originally Posted by Tyk
Buy a stripper pole using his ebay account. Perhaps have it sent to the wrong address on accident.

Did I say that out loud? oops. .

LMAO!!!! He'd dump her for sure!!!!!

I'm sure the belly dancing rattled him!!! LOL!!!!

He would NEVER admit that, though!

Oh yeah, so add a:

d. He's afraid of the new me!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/21/08 09:55 PM
Let me see...the last time I checked...I didn't see a FOR SALE sign tattooed on my forehead.

The skin behind my ears is dry.

No chaff sightings in my hair from falling off of a hay truck.

Yep. All clear!

I am NOT for sale!! I will not bend to the demands of terrorists!!

I am standing firm!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/27/08 01:22 AM
So, when does the fun begin?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 05/27/08 03:50 AM
Hi cinderella,

It doesn't. Shiny and I are waiting on "the list" to see just what's on it and if it is good enough to make me want to sign on the dotted line.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 02:29 AM
I just had to share this.

Well, the list has arrived and also the "schedule."

Get this...he wants to come over here and work and requested that: I AM NOT PRESENT! AS IF!!

NO freakin' way in the WORLD!!!

That's probably why he asked that. He KNEW I would NOT agree to it.

All I can say is: Well, can I go over to your 3 bedroom apartment while YOU are not there, Mr. Gray?

I think we all know the answer to that!

The judge was very specific that we work on this together. Not that I care one way or the other. It WILL get done, with him or without him.

Looks like it will be without.

Hmmm....I wonder if I'm going to have to look at all of this stuff until November? Magic 8 Ball says: "Chances are good!"
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 02:30 AM
And if this turns into a bloody battle of wills, so be it!! I am NOT giving in! Never give up, never surrender!!

Besides...THEY drew first blood...not ME!!!!!!!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 02:51 AM
Charlotte,

It's probably somewhere in your thread, but what do you have to work on? Sounds like it might be a collection of junk that used to be WH's???
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 03:00 AM
Yeah, Chai, it's his hobby stuff that made our house into nothing more than a bona fide warehouse!!!

Granted, the other hobby stuff are things we both collected because we were going to open a hobby store but HIS stuff...OMG!!!! I have been sorting this out for months and taking pictures and categorizing in print so that the people his "lawyer" (and I do use that term lightly, LOL!!) hired could do the....the...Oh I can't think of the word now I'm so excited!!

Pricing the stuff.....ummmmm......you know....(and am I going to feel stupid when I remember the word???!!!!!!)

Anyway, APPRAISAL!!!!! That's it!!!

Anyway, they couldn't do it because there is SO much it was deemed "impossible" by them but then I told my Shiny Attorney that I would get started on it and he liked the idea and I've been working on it ever since.

And gotten a LOT done!!! An amazing lot!!!

Because saying impossible to me is like waving a red flag in front of a bull...appropriate since I'm a Taurus. LOL!!!

So of COURSE I had to prove it could be done or die trying!!!

Anyway, I'll sign-off now before I carry on because I can carry on and on and on and on and on and on........(etc. etc. ad nauseum!!!!)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 03:52 AM
Oh, and did I mention...he wants me to supply him with a KEY??!!

To MY house!!!!!

OMG!!! I am still LMAO over here!!!!!!!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 03:56 AM
Waywards...they continue to live in the dream world.
Posted By: cinderella Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 04:06 AM
What drugs has he been doing to make him so stupid???? laugh
Posted By: MicheleG Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 12:16 PM
A key? ..You've got to be kidding!!

Taurus? Me too! Yes and I'm very stubborn. I will finish a job even if it kills me.

You go girl.
Posted By: Dobie Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 02:14 PM
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
All I can say is: Well, can I go over to your 3 bedroom apartment while YOU are not there, Mr. Gray?

If he wants you to be gone while doing his stuff, I think it's perfectly reasonable that you be able to hang out and watch TV or practice your belly dancing at his place.

laugh
Posted By: cinderella Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 05:43 PM
Yeah, go belly dancing at his apt....eat his food, leave his water running....go through his messages....order stuff from his computer...

While you've locked every single door in your house except the one w/ the stuff he needs.

whistle

Methinks he hath been drinking stumpwater.
Posted By: Still_Crazy Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 06:42 PM
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
I just had to share this.

Well, the list has arrived and also the "schedule."

Get this...he wants to come over here and work and requested that: I AM NOT PRESENT! AS IF!!

NO freakin' way in the WORLD!!!

That's probably why he asked that. He KNEW I would NOT agree to it.

All I can say is: Well, can I go over to your 3 bedroom apartment while YOU are not there, Mr. Gray?

I think we all know the answer to that!

The judge was very specific that we work on this together. Not that I care one way or the other. It WILL get done, with him or without him.

Looks like it will be without.

Hmmm....I wonder if I'm going to have to look at all of this stuff until November? Magic 8 Ball says: "Chances are good!"

I am sure this is coming from OW who is just dying of jealousy over Mr Gray seing his new and improved WIFE.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 06:47 PM
Quote
I am sure this is coming from OW who is just dying of jealousy over Mr Gray seing his new and improved WIFE.

That's what I thought too. OW doesn't want Charlotte anywhere NEAR him now.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:24 PM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Waywards...they continue to live in the dream world.

Yeah. It's astonishing sometimes, ain't it? Even though you know it.

I've trained myself to expect nothing from him. It wasn't easy, as you know, since we once shared everything.

It started when he shared our secrets, or even non-secrets, with her. Then I knew I could tell him nothing.

I think that was one of the hardest parts for me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:26 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
What drugs has he been doing to make him so stupid???? laugh

No joke!! LOL!!

I told Shiny; you know, I want SO BADLY to email him with that famous line from Forrest Gump, (well, one of the famous lines, anyway! LOL!):

"Are you stupid or sumthin'?"

I won't do it but I sure wish I could!! Only "stupid" should be spelled: stOOpid!!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:27 PM
Originally Posted by MicheleG
A key? ..You've got to be kidding!!

Taurus? Me too! Yes and I'm very stubborn. I will finish a job even if it kills me.

You go girl.

Yeah!!! Ain't that a laugh riot?! Boy, oh boy!!!

Yay!! Another Taurus!! And you were the first person to post on my thread, too. Cool!!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:29 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Originally Posted by Charlotte22
All I can say is: Well, can I go over to your 3 bedroom apartment while YOU are not there, Mr. Gray?

If he wants you to be gone while doing his stuff, I think it's perfectly reasonable that you be able to hang out and watch TV or practice your belly dancing at his place.

laugh

LMAO!!

That sounds like a good plan, Dobie!!!

I'll try not to drop any coins off of my coin belt while I'm there, LOL!

Might not be much room, though, seeing as how he's already accumulated more *stuff* at the apartment.

Shiny has a stack of eBay purchases Gray made that is 2-3 inches thick!! And there's more to come!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:31 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Yeah, go belly dancing at his apt....eat his food, leave his water running....go through his messages....order stuff from his computer...

While you've locked every single door in your house except the one w/ the stuff he needs.

whistle

Methinks he hath been drinking stumpwater.

Drinking stumpwater!!! LMAO!!! I haven't heard that one in ages!! I love it!!

Yeah, go through his messages but not his underwear drawer. Ewwwwwww!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:32 PM
Quote
I am sure this is coming from OW who is just dying of jealousy over Mr Gray seing his new and improved WIFE.

Hey, that's a good one, SC. I don't now why I didn't think about that. My first thought was that he knew I'd say no and he'd get out of all the hard work! LOL!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/03/08 07:35 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
I am sure this is coming from OW who is just dying of jealousy over Mr Gray seing his new and improved WIFE.

That's what I thought too. OW doesn't want Charlotte anywhere NEAR him now.

You guys are likely right on the money with that!!

Especially considering that OWH said she looks like a crackhead now.

Of course SHE probably thinks she looks like Princess Grace or something. All put together and gorgeous. Funny how WS's lose their eyesight along with everything else!! LOL!!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/04/08 11:21 PM
Charlotte,

Looked at the photo album. You are a beautiful Goddess. Your WH must be an effing idiot.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/05/08 01:03 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Charlotte,

Looked at the photo album. You are a beautiful Goddess. Your WH must be an effing idiot.

Awwww.....thank you, Chai!! blush

You are so sweet!

Made me feel good!! And blush

I'm smilin'!!! grin

Yeah, he's an idiot.

Mr. Gray is eating Jonesy all up. I don't think there's anything left of Jonesy anymore. I'm at peace with it, though. I just think about the little mice in "Babe" when they say: "The way things are..."
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/05/08 01:06 AM
And he's STILL not getting a key!!

I have this so far:

When the sun freezes over and dogs sprout wings,
When it rains gold coins and diamond rings...

THAT is when he'll get a key!

(I'm trying to think up a few more lines for a short poem. Too bad I can't send it to him. LOL!)
Posted By: Dobie Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/05/08 01:39 PM
Yep. Had to go peek and you're a hottie. In a non-gay sort of way. Not that there's anything wrong with that. smile

When monkeys type Shakespeare and dolls come to life.
When your skank becomes one tenth as pretty as your wife.
Posted By: cinderella Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/06/08 01:13 AM
Oh, yeah! Like Dobie said!

Have you ever noticed that men who leave their wives do not often trade up?
Posted By: Dobie Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/07/08 03:33 AM
Honey, they're never trading up in value, but they also manage to trade down in the looks department. smile
Posted By: believer Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/07/08 03:42 AM
I saw you too. You are beautiful! And you have a fantastic personality that comes right through the computer - BAM!!!!!!!

The affair will end, and I'm sure he will be back sniffing around.
Posted By: cinderella Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/07/08 02:17 PM
Maybe he will suck a hornet up his left nostril. shocked
Posted By: Dobie Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/07/08 04:50 PM
I like the way you think.
Posted By: cinderella Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/07/08 09:01 PM
LOL!!!!

and my favorite fantasy for when x is acting very deserving of the title, "X", is to think of him undergoing total-body tweezing. of course, regrowth can be miserably uncomfortable so he would need to undergo periodic treatments for the duration of his life.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/11/08 11:08 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Yep. Had to go peek and you're a hottie. In a non-gay sort of way. Not that there's anything wrong with that. smile

When monkeys type Shakespeare and dolls come to life.
When your skank becomes one tenth as pretty as your wife.

Me>>>>> blush

Awwww......shucks......thank you, Dobie!!

I gotta agree about the skank line your wrote. I AM better looking than her. Especially on the inside. Yeah, my guts. LOL!!

Even more so now since I heard from OWH that she looks like a crack 'ho' now!



Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/11/08 11:10 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Oh, yeah! Like Dobie said!

Have you ever noticed that men who leave their wives do not often trade up?

blush <<<Me again.

Thank you, cinderella!

He traded down in the imagination department, too. She ain't got it, Sista!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/11/08 11:14 PM
Originally Posted by believer
I saw you too. You are beautiful! And you have a fantastic personality that comes right through the computer - BAM!!!!!!!

The affair will end, and I'm sure he will be back sniffing around.

Awwwwww........ blush

Thank you, believer!

I think he has trained himself to hate my guts now. He hates me maybe even more than he hates Shiny. But it bothers Shiny more than it bothers me. I've come to expect it. Or shall I say, I've come to expect nothing so anything above that is a gift? LOL!!

Like the offhand compliments he gave me while he was on the stand.

Oh yeah, dang it!! I was going to call the courthouse today and see how much the transcripts cost. I'm going to write a story and see how far I can take it. Might even be a book in this whole thing, eh?

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: O M G !!!!!!!!!!!! - 06/11/08 11:16 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Maybe he will suck a hornet up his left nostril. shocked

He might suck up one of the bees from the hive that's currently living in the walls of my house.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BULLSEYE!!!!!! Insectile Lobotomy!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Something old, something new... - 06/11/08 11:26 PM
"The good that men do...is oft' interred with their bones.....But the EVIL that men do...........lives on!!!"

Well, I was going to come in Friday with a report and now I have two.

Last Thursday I lost my electricity. It's really my fault. I knew that he changed his address and though I tried to get utilities put in my name, it wasn't allowed.

That was about a week or so before the hearing and since it was so close I didn't try any further.

Well, unbeknownst to me, my electric bill was overdue. So I lost power because I never got a pinkie. And it was only late from May, nothing before that.

Anyway, I call it my fault. Mom says, "Okay, if that's how you want to see it."

Yeah, because it is, really. I didn't panic or cry. I just called the electric company and got it taken care of and the power was back on in within 3 hours.

THEN I found out that the critters living under the house dislodged the a/c duct from the blower and I was living in extreme heat for a few days. After class on Saturday it was 93 degrees and it dropped down to a chilly 89 after nightfall. PHEW!!

Well, that's taken care of now.

Now to today.

I got a call from Shiny. He got a call from the Dark Side so we are going to have a pow-wow about that tomorrow. Maybe I'll even find out when and IF Mr. Gray is going to show up and help with inventory. I'm not holding my breath, though.

He's feebly trying his own "Plan B" on me by trying to avoid contact at all costs. Whatever! What are we? In elementary school?

Elementary my dear Watson! You hit the proverbial nail right on the proverbial head! We have gone back in time and are now in elementary school! Wheeeeeee!!! Recess!!!! Summer break!!!! WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Anyway, I digress. That's all I have for now. But I'll be BOK!!
Well, we had our powwow yesterday about what to do about the thing-thing.

So we were forced to send a reply to the Dark Side but I'm not going to post what it is just yet, on off chance that lying, prying eyeballs are scanning 'round these here parts.

So the cute and funny thing came when I walked into Shiny's office. He started singing "Dancing Machine!" OMG! I almost fell over!! SO funny!!

I am forever thankful for whatever I did in this life to end up with Shiny in my corner! I wish everyone could have a Shiny Attorney like him! (Well, except for the WS's, that is!)
Is this is a permanent change Batman? (name)

That all sounds good. Sorry about your AC. Know how that is. Upstairs AC has been down for 3 days following the downstairs unit not working for 5. It's terrible trying to get help these days.

I love that Shiny of yours. grin

Let us know about the update. Take care.
Originally Posted by MicheleG
Is this is a permanent change Batman? (name)

That all sounds good. Sorry about your AC. Know how that is. Upstairs AC has been down for 3 days following the downstairs unit not working for 5. It's terrible trying to get help these days.

I love that Shiny of yours. grin

Let us know about the update. Take care.

LOL! Nah, just tryin' to get a rise out of medc, we had a sparring match a while back about which one of us was really Batman. The fact that I am female has no bearing on this argument. LOL!

Thanks, yeah, it was getting crazy with the heat for a few days. I couldn't do much of anything so I resumed surgery on Shiny's duck. That way I wouldn't be moving around too much.

Unfortunately I had a giant tree roach attack that night. One found its way into the house and it was AMOK TIME!!!

Yeah, Shiny totally rocks!! I need to win the lottery so I can give him a HUGE bonus! I complained yesterday because the last bill I got was WAY too low, IMO. He didn't even charge for travel time and that's wear and tear on a car. And it's at least an hour for him each way to get to our county seat!
Well, I called the courthouse earlier so I could request a copy of the transcripts from the hearing.

The court reporter remembered my voice from a month ago! LOL!!

Then she goes: "And one of the attorneys was Shiny ------?"

"Mine!!" said I.

LOL!!

I guess we made quite an impression on her, eh? LOL!!

Or maybe I'm just goofy! Yeah, that's more like it!
When Shiny and I had our powwow the other day, the following exchange took place...

"...because you don't like him," said Shiny. (I can't remember what started this conversation but I DO remember this!)

"I never said I didn't like him," said I.

"No. You don't like him. He's not a very nice person!" Shiny asserted firmly.

"Well, I don't HATE him," I said.

I mean, really, how could I not agree that Gray is not a very nice person? I knew he wasn't a social cracker going in. For a while, though, he at least kept up the appearance of being semi-human, helping some people, including my Mom.

But he really IS a hermit and would very likely be happy on a desert island with no one else, (except the flavor of the week), and a ham radio!

LMAO!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 06/20/08 03:04 AM
Well, Shiny received a fax from the Dark Side today stating that Mr. Gray would be at my house on Friday and the fax demanded that he have access.

In the first place he was supposed to submit a schedule. That was supposed to be by May 23rd and he was supposed to be here helping me by June 1st.

Of course none of that happened and the story is above, not too far back.

So, Shiny faxed back... NO!

Well see how that goes over. LOL!!

In the meantime I will be taking a trip to the PD in the a.m. with my copy of the temporary orders and Shiny's card so the police will have something to do tomorrow besides chase all the summer kids around in this 2-horse town.

This way all bases are covered and if he DOES show up and try to do something stupid like break into my house it won't be new news.

As for the settlement? Mum's the word!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/20/08 06:32 PM
Well, it's still quiet, so far.

Gray was in IM but logged out around noon.

I went to the police station this a.m. to give them the heads up. I was talking to an officer and at some point I said something affair, etc.

He said, "Well if you are divorced it's not an affair."

I said, "We are not divorced. It is still an affair."

I didn't want to argue further since I needed help so I left it at that. But really, that's how society views it as the majority, IMO.

Also, as a supplement to Shiny's fax (or in the event that Palpitine didn't get the message to Gray)...I left a note on my door that says:

NO.

Any questions?

Then arrows pointing to Shiny's card, which I enclosed in a small plastic baggie with the opening on the bottom so the card would be easy to remove.

I took a picture of it. Sent it to Shiny to get all da bases covered. So Gray couldn't say I left him a nasty note, ya know?

OH! I wanted SO badly to write: "Talk to da hand! Da hand's name is: Shiny, and his number is..."

Oh so badly!! But I resisted. LOL!!

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 06/21/08 02:52 AM
You are so bad!!!!!! grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/21/08 03:14 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
You are so bad!!!!!! grin

Yeah. But it's fun!! grin

wink
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 06/21/08 03:48 AM
I know!!! I've been told I don't have a mean bone in my body but I know I have some really mischievous cartilage.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/21/08 05:05 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I know!!! I've been told I don't have a mean bone in my body but I know I have some really mischievous cartilage.

LMAO!! I LOVE it!!! That's a good one!!
Posted By: onlyUcan Re: Update - 06/21/08 05:06 AM
Charlotte,

That was funny. You are a character!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/21/08 05:16 AM
Originally Posted by onlyUcan
Charlotte,

That was funny. You are a character!

Thank you, onlyU!

Yeah, I was thinking earlier that Gray would appreciate the humor, if he was Jonesy again.

But I also thought that if he did indeed show up that he would be so mad he'd be spitting nails when he saw the note!! (Evil me, I couldn't help but grin at that!)

And he'd better not show up on Saturday (which is another day he picked)....I am NOT answering the door!!

So I left the note up. It finally rained today and the note got wet but it's still perfectly legible and Shiny's card is as dry as a bone in its little bag, LOL!!!

I don't think I'll have any salesmen knocking on MY door!!!

Charlotte

Posted By: onlyUcan Re: Update - 06/21/08 05:21 AM
Either that or Shiny is going to be getting alot of solicitor calls.

Good perspective C! Keep your chin up. whistle
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/21/08 05:57 AM
Originally Posted by onlyUcan
Either that or Shiny is going to be getting alot of solicitor calls.

Good perspective C! Keep your chin up. whistle

LMAO!! He might!!

Thanks, onlyU! I'm learning to keep it up.

Dancing is helping!! No lookin' at feet!! SMILE!! Pretend there's a string holding your head up!! LOL!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 06/21/08 07:39 PM
You're alright. I bet you know that.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/22/08 03:22 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
You're alright. I bet you know that.

Yes. And I would have NEVER believed it could be true. But it is! WOW!!

The world changed from having teeth and claws I was so afraid of into a glorious technicolor place!!

(Or you could say like in the Wizard of Oz, from black & white into wonderful, wonderful color!! And the witch is melting!!)

grin

Posted By: onlyUcan Re: Update - 06/22/08 04:09 AM
So is Shiny's card still in the bag??

Did he show up or do you know? Hope you have a grand rest of your weekend. :eek:
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Update - 06/22/08 04:23 AM
CHARLOTTE!!!!!

I just now got it!!!!!

Charlotte's Thread / Charlotte's Web, right? RIGHT????????


LOL ...... ...... sorry.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/22/08 04:39 AM
Originally Posted by onlyUcan
So is Shiny's card still in the bag??

Did he show up or do you know? Hope you have a grand rest of your weekend. :eek:

LOL!! grin

Yeah, it's still there. Gray was in IM before I left. I went in as the Invisible Dancing Machine to talk to my DIL for a few minutes. So I looked. And he was still on when I returned from class and probably is still on now.

So if he did show up and the IM was a ruse, I haven't a clue. My mailbox was empty, though. Sometimes I wonder if he shags off with the mail.

I to laugh when I pulled in and saw the sign again. LOL!! I might just leave it up for a few days.

Thank you, onlyU, you have a great weekend, too!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/22/08 04:42 AM
Originally Posted by jayne241
CHARLOTTE!!!!!

I just now got it!!!!!

Charlotte's Thread / Charlotte's Web, right? RIGHT????????


LOL ...... ...... sorry.

LMAO!!

No. But that's cute!!

And apt. I am spinning a new life web, ain't it? grin

I'm not going to drink bug juice though!! I'll get my protein elsewhere, thank you very much!!! wink

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 06/22/08 04:54 AM
Oh yeah, and dancing was FANTASTIC today!! We didn't have a session last week because my Latin Hip Meister was on vacation in Amsterdam with his Love. He wanted to visit all the WWII sites there.

I remembered without even thinking about it when we went through several dances. And I picked up on his cues like "THAT!"

It was great!! And he was throwing a lot of changes in the dances that we don't usually do.

Oh and there was a real cute teacher there who smiled so sweetly when I came in and then again later on. He could do the Tango, too, Baby!! WOOOOOO!!!!! SIZZlin'!!!!!

My teacher said he was Dutch. There are a lot of different nationalities there. Teachers, mostly. 2 or 3 Russians, at least ONE Italian (awwww, darn. Only one? LOL!), the Dutch guy, oh yeah and my belly dancing teacher is Asian. Then we have this fantastic lady who's Swiss(?) I think. And an Indian gentlemen who dances with a sultry Russian teacher and sometimes brings his daughter for lessons with this immensely tall teacher (I don't know his nationality, though.)

It's really cool!!
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Update - 06/22/08 05:38 AM
LOL But where I'm from, we call a colored Koolaid-type drink "bug juice". You could drink that!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Guess what now? - 07/04/08 05:38 AM
Shiny got a letter from the Dark Side!!!!!

We have to go back to court!!! We don't know the date yet, though.

It seems that Mr. Gray doesn't want to come over here when I'm here so badly that he is asking the court to pick the days and that I not be here.

How 'bout them apples?

OF COURSE he tried to make it look like I AM the unreasonable one!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is so funny I forgot to laugh!!!

There were numerous inconsistencies in the papers that were filed in court, too. So obviously inconsistent to whoever reads it!!

Well, whatever, I say.

Bring it OAN, Cletus!!!

Okay, I'll put an example: It says that he can't come on Sunday and Monday because he works Monday-Friday, yet he picked Friday and Saturday as days to work on inventory. (It says the Fri/Sat thing right there, too.)

How 'bout them apples?

There is only one way we aren't going to court and that has to do with the settlement. I don't see that being resolved before then. Nope.

Oh, and GUESS WHAT??!!

OWH finally called Shiny!!! Isn't that COOL??!!!

I am SO glad!! And relieved. OWH deserves the best attorney and Shiny is IT!!! OWH will NOT find a better one!!

Shiny said he thinks OWH is finally ready to move on things because OWH saw how great I was doing when I saw him at the concert in May.

I filled Mom in earlier. She said, "Yeah, but OWH won't call Shiny his "Shiny Attorney!" LMAO!!

I think OWH will if he hangs around me!! LOL!!

I was thinking about calling him but I don't think I will right now. I'm kinda hoping he calls and asks me to that Judas Priest concert. It would be fun. Not that I need to lose any more of my hearing but his "gang" seems to be a fun bunch.

So maybe. And OWH is not dating so there's no need to worry about anything out of the realm of comfort happening. I do think his brother is really cute, though. Green eyes, too. LOL!!

Not as cute as Shiny but in second place for sure!! blush

wink

Well, I think that completes the report. At least for now!!

Charlotte

P.S.) Oh yeah, and Shiny told me who could possibly play him in the movie after my book gets optioned for one!! LOL!! I knew it!! Robert Dinero or Al Pacino. But I have some others in mind!! wink

Posted By: cinderella Re: Guess what now? - 07/04/08 05:25 PM
You are a mess!!!








In a good way!
Welllllllllll.......

We go back to court next Thursday, which also happens to be my grandson's birthday!!

AND...

Guess who got served with divorce papers today???

That's RIGHT!!! SLAG!!!!

From: Yours Truly....SHINY!!!

Delivered by: Shiny's Process Server!!

One and the same who served Slag with the subpoena in November!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

OWH hired SHINY! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Isn't that the COOLEST thing? I LOVE it!!!!!!!

I guess I'd better make Shiny another talisman against the evil eye!! He's SURE going to be getting it way worse now!!!!!

And I LAUGHED and LAUGHED!! I laughed SO hard!! And I almost spit on Shiny because it just came bursting out!!

Yeah, like the alien in the movie...the chest-burster...ewwwwww!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/11/08 11:29 PM
You go girl! What goes 'round, comes 'round, and you are the best I've seen at making it come back 'round......
Awwwwwww....thanks Chai!!! blush

I love it because they tried to make OWH think I was nuts and boy did it backfire on them!!

Shiny says that OWH finally called because he saw how well I am doing but I've only seen OWH once since the hearing in December! Well, I guess it was enough, according to Shiny!!

And I'm SO glaaaaaaaad he has Shiny in his corner!! Of course the fringe benefit is imagining the looks on their faces...LOL!! Yeah, like Gray's XW I wanted to be a fly on the wall SO bad!!!!!

grin

Charlotte

P.S.) I told Shiny, heck...maybe I'll attend their hearing anyway...it's sure to be a dang good show!!!

grin grin grin

Posted By: ChaiLover Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/12/08 12:13 AM
Oh, I bet the Ho house has a lot of stress now. Don't you just love it? Yep, sometimes revenge is sweet I guess

Can I get your Shiny? Shiny is as agressive as my Atty is meek. I'm seriously thinking of replacing him. He just isn't fighting for me.

Oh, definitely go to the hearing. Entertainment at it's best no doubt. Heck with Shiny. Can I hire you to coach me?
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Oh, I bet the Ho house has a lot of stress now. Don't you just love it? Yep, sometimes revenge is sweet I guess

Can I get your Shiny? Shiny is as agressive as my Atty is meek. I'm seriously thinking of replacing him. He just isn't fighting for me.

Oh, definitely go to the hearing. Entertainment at it's best no doubt. Heck with Shiny. Can I hire you to coach me?

LMAO!!! Awwwwwwwwww...... blush blush blush

Me? That's sweeeeeeet!!

Yeah, Shiny ROCKS, no boutadoubtit and no doubt about it!! Stomping on infidels wherever they rear their ugly heads!!

Okay, I guess I can share, LOL!! wink

Yeah, funny thing is, I didn't even CARE about revenge!!! Everybody wanted me to get angry but I couldn't, just hurting...until Brave New World!!

I did and DO get angry about the way he's treating the kids, though. Fool.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/12/08 02:34 AM
That is hysterical. I bet you did laugh.....
Heck yeah!!

And I also had thought back to the first day I was there, November 1, 2008. Filled with grim determination. Disheveled from driving there in the truck with the windows down because the a/c had broken the very moment I was leaving to go to OWH only 2 days before. I parked in the wrong spot had to walk across the hot pavement with the laptop that I brought in case Shiny wanted to peruse the bank statements I saved to the hard drive and the other evidence.

I remember that I wore a pair of black slacks, a white shirt and and overshirt of lime green. I wore the shoes I had bought for our trip to Dallas with OWH & Slag (we met them there, not the same car, although I had suggested it at some point before we left.)

I remember Shiny that day, too. Just like November 1st, he had court. He was already there on November 1st when I got there, though, while yesterday he came breezing in after court, full of Oreos. LOL! Oh, and he was wearing a white dress shirt open at the throat, too, just like in November.

I remember that he looked really tired on November 1st but he listened attentively while I told the story and then gave me the advice I needed but didn't want to hear. So I hired him on the spot and filled out the paperwork.

Then I left and that's when I cried. I talked to Mel and my DIL almost all the way home so that helped a lot.

I was also terrified that Mr. Gray had already filed elsewhere and he would beat me to the punch. Nope. He wanted to do the online thing. As IF!!

I remember him calling me after he was served at work and raging about the car. I couldn't help but chuckle at that...I didn't emphasize the importance of the car to Shiny but that was the first thing on the list!! LMAO!!!

Then he said, "Well, I guess I have to hire a cutthroat attorney now!"

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Yeah, the lawyer that has his office on Space Center Blvd. Ha ha! PERFECT!! Space Center Blvd. for the Alien Space Cadets!! Now I wonder if Slag will be using that guy!! LMAO!!!!!!!! I sure WOULDN'T!!!!

All bluster, no muster!!!

So....YEAH!!!!! This latest news will make a wonderful chapter for the novel!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Verve Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/12/08 03:20 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah, like the alien in the movie...the chest-burster...ewwwwww!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

Oh this made me think of SpaceBalls when the alien pops out and starts singing "Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime gal" and dancing. I know that's not what you were talking about, but it's funny.

You seem so happy, it's just wonderful to see smile

Originally Posted by Esprit
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah, like the alien in the movie...the chest-burster...ewwwwww!!!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

Oh this made me think of SpaceBalls when the alien pops out and starts singing "Hello my baby, hello my darlin', hello my ragtime gal" and dancing. I know that's not what you were talking about, but it's funny.

You seem so happy, it's just wonderful to see smile

Awwwwww....Thank you, Ayane!!! Never expected to be feeling this good ever again!! Are you SURE I'm not dead?? Or in a straitjacket in some hospital ward somewhere? wink (And I'm only half-joking!!)

Yeah, I remember that movie, LOL!! Good ol' John Candy! R.I.P., funny man!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dobie Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/12/08 06:12 PM
You're saving OWH and Shiny a lot of time, since he already knows most of the story.
Posted By: cinderella Re: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Guess what?! - 07/12/08 06:18 PM
Yeah, you should get a refund, a commission, some sort of royal treatment for that!
Originally Posted by Dobie
You're saving OWH and Shiny a lot of time, since he already knows most of the story.

Thanks, Dobie!

Yeah, I wasn't looking for revenge but I can't help but feel SO GOOD that OWH hired Shiny. They are both such wonderful people I'm just so glad!!

And of course there's the added benefit of the giggle factor. I can't help it!!!!! grin

Charlotte
Originally Posted by cinderella
Yeah, you should get a refund, a commission, some sort of royal treatment for that!

LOL!! Yeah, well Shiny already doesn't charge enough for his fantastic representation.

I am just really happy the two of them got together. Shiny will benefit and OWH will benefit even more from having the best care in the world!!

(And did I mention the giggle factor? LMAO!!)

grin

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, here's where we are now.... - 07/16/08 01:44 AM
Whaddaya know? NEW news already!!

Shiny received a fax from the Dark Side. It contained a new list of days for FSO/Gray to come over here and help me with inventory.

Guess what?!

Every ever-lovin' day is a day when I can't be here because I am with my grandma or I have a pre-paid dance class!!

And guess what else? He even picked the day of his grandson's birthday!!

How in the Sam Hill can I say yes to that? There's NO way!!

And Shiny wanted to know if I could agree to any of the dates because he doesn't want to waste my money by going to court if we don't have to. Now THAT's a great Shiny Attorney!!

Well, I checked every day on the calendar and that's what came up. Every day I a not here.

So he knows my schedule by accident or by design. I never mentioned at the hearing just WHAT days I have dance class.

This is what I also told Shiny: This is my private home now and Gray can't just come and go as he pleases. He gave up that right. And I cannot give him a key. Then what? I have to change the locks on the door every other day? I have to worry constantly if I'm going to be invaded? How will I sleep? I can't go around being a nervous live wire all the time, I was like that BEFORE I had to file.

I am NOT doing that again. I REFUSE to be put into that position again.

I also told him that if we end up going to court on Thursday that I will have a letter for the judge stating my position clearly and concisely.

I will let Shiny read it and approve it, of course, and then either he can read it in court or I will.

So that's where we are with that right now. I don't know yet what they will reply, it was late in the day when this exchange took place so I will hear something tomorrow, I'm sure.

And while Shiny doesn't want to waste my money, Palpitine could give a flying cow patty if he wastes Gray's. Well, technically hers, LOL!

So we may end up there anyway. We shall see. I'm not agreeing to those dates and I don't see why I should and I don't see why I should be subjected to this threat of Gray roaming around in my private home.

I hope the judge will see it this way. Of course, me not accepting the days he sent in makes ME look like the bad guy not wanting to work it out but I think if I explain why, it will help.

I see it as him STILL trying to play head games. That's all. Well fine, I'll see him on Thursday, then.

You know, I NEVER threatened him verbally or physically, I did raise my voice once but that was because he would NOT talk to me and I KNEW what was going on.

I never threatened her, either. I sent her ONE email. It contained NO profanity. And I still have it, I sent it to Shiny some months ago, just like I sent him a copy of the PBL.

Gray has NO excuse for not wanting to come over here when I am here except he doesn't want to just because he can't face me. That's what I think.

I am adult enough to work together and do what the court says to do, even though I am the one who was wronged.

What do you make of all this?

Charlotte



Posted By: Dancing_Machine In other news..... - 07/16/08 01:50 AM
I had an appointment at the culinary academy yesterday. As it turns out, they have a night schedule 3 times a week that matches mine EXACTLY, which means I won't have to worry about being able to help take care of my grandma.

I will probably end up going here, I just have to decide which program I want to go with now, or I might just take the Baking and Pastry now and go back later on for the culinary arts program.

They do have one which is 85% of one and 15% of the other with each program but I really want to do both completely. So yeah, looks like that will be the one.

It will take 9 months with the night classes, twice as long, but that's okay.

All I need to do now is arrange dancing around the schedule. No way I can quit dancing now!!

Oh yeah, and I had to laugh the other day. I told Shiny I know why he is pushing me to go to this school rather than some others first. He has a sweet tooth and he's hoping I bring some homework by!!! wink

LOL! Yep!! But really, he saw my portfolio of cakes and some of my pumpkin portraits. That's why.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/17/08 01:55 PM
Court today!!!

Unless FSO Mr. Gray gets an eleventh hour stay of execution, we're ON!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Bring it OAN, Cletus!!!

Sic 'em, Shiny!!!

Charlotte

P.S.) It's my grandson's b-day today! He is 1. My grandma's b-day is Monday. She will be 90.
Posted By: wildhorses74 Re: In other news..... - 07/17/08 02:07 PM
Good luck, Charlotte! We're with you in spirit!

Fox
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/17/08 02:17 PM
Thank you, Fox!!!!!

I love you guys!!!

I'm going to go get dressed now. I just finished printing the letter for the judge.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: In other news..... - 07/19/08 10:37 PM
And........how did it go?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 03:38 AM
Hi,

Oh yeah, I was supposed to come in with a report!! I'm sorry, it's been really busy here!

Well, Shiny & I left the office for the long ride & stopped for lunch. We got to the courthouse about 10 minutes or so before the hearing.

They weren't there. It hit 1:30 and they STILL weren't there. We were starting to think we had been stood up when Gray finally showed up.

His lawyer showed up even later.

So first we had discussions about the settlement offer, they came with a different list. So Shiny tried to get me the best settlement that he could but with their conditions I was unable to agree to anything.

Then we went before the judge. Palpitine went first because they are the ones who filed.

Then Shiny did a wonderful job with my letter.

Then the judge went off the record so we could hash it out. Shiny had a good argument for me as to why I couldn't agree to those days for inventory and I had to speak as well.

Then Palpitine and Gray: He can't do Sundays. Why? Church.

Okay...I don't know if the judge saw the look on my face because I immediately looked at Shiny with this look...OMG!! Are you kidding me? And I couldn't help it!! I really couldn't!!

So they wanted a key to my house. This was the BIGGEST thing for me. I did NOT want him to have a key. Why on Earth SHOULD he?

Palpitine: "We want a key."

Me: "I can't give him a key, your Honor."

Palpitine: "Leave the door unlocked."

Me: "My doorknob is broken and it only locks with the one key with the deadbolt lock."

Palpitine: "Leave it under the step."

Me: "I don't feel comfortable doing that your Honor."

Palpitine says, "Well, your Honor, he's trusted her lo these many months not to do any "looting" blah blah blah."

Then I got to speak, "Your Honor, I would not feel comfortable giving him a key. I am not worried about the "looting," I believe that's the word Mr. Palpitine used. I am worried about my peace of mind. When my husband started his affair, during, and after he left I had a lot of trouble sleeping and I was really nervous ALL the time. I can't go back to that again, your Honor, I just can't!"

If you are wondering why Shiny wasn't in this exchange it's because Gray was supposed to be talking. But he hardly talked at all, and when he did...OMG!!

He was SO STONED!! I turned to Shiny, "Shiny, he is SO STONED!! OMG!"

In the end the judge split the difference and alternated Saturdays and Sundays on the weekends.

And NO KEY for Mr. Gray! Yay!!!!

I was SO relieved! Still am!

Shiny and I left and he commented several times on the way back about how stoned Mr. Gray was. I mean, really!! I'm sure the judge noticed it!!

So tomorrow is supposed to be his first day. I wonder if he'll even show up?

If he brings her he's NOT coming in here.

I told my DIL how stoned he was. She said he was stoned at dinner that evening...talking real slow, moving in slow motion, fell asleep during dinner. It was horrible, she said. She said even Slag looked upset.

I talked to all three of the kids today about his addiction to pills. I told them they ought to try and stage an intervention. Try and talk to him. Do SOMETHING. Because I tell you what, he's going to end up dead or killing someone else if he has a wreck because he's driving so stoned.

Well, DD doesn't want to have anything to do with him but the boys are going to try. It can't hurt.

And YDS was telling me how DIFFERENT his father looks to him, that he doesn't look like himself at all.

In fact, DIL showed me a couple of pictures Slag and Gray gave her and ODS. He looks like a zombie.

Yuk!!

And I'm telling you now, IF he shows up tomorrow, I may not be able to keep my mouth shut about it. I will try, I really will. But DANG!!

Oh and I saw FIL and BIL today for the first time since before any of this happened. Gray's XW was there today, too and she and I were talking like we always do. XW had a good laugh at their reaction!! She said they were probably on the phone to Gray once they got out the door!! LMAO!! Yep!!

So he may not show up tomorrow for sure!!! LMAO!!! He doesn't have ANY idea that XW and I are friends! Well, he does now!! wink

Charlotte






Posted By: cinderella Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 03:50 AM
Well, you reached a compromise on dates and got to keep your security. That's good.

And great about the friendship. My x couldn't stand it at first when his w#2 and I were friendly w/ each other. We can actually tolerate each other and are comfortable around each other. But, I would pitch a fit if he were in my house w/out me at home.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 04:04 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, you reached a compromise on dates and got to keep your security. That's good.

And great about the friendship. My x couldn't stand it at first when his w#2 and I were friendly w/ each other. We can actually tolerate each other and are comfortable around each other. But, I would pitch a fit if he were in my house w/out me at home.

Yep! I hear ya'! I told the judge that was like ME asking for a key to HIS apartment!! (I didn't say THEIR apartment, I didn't really think about it when I said it but I'm glad I just said HIS, now.)

Yeah, she's helped a LOT over these months. Especially at the beginning when she advised me to change the locks and forward my home phone to my cell so he would never know if I was home or elsewhere.

Yeah, Shiny and I are friends, XW and I are friends, OWH hired Shiny for his case, too...Gray probably thinks he's in h*ll!! Well, he IS!!!!

LOL!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 04:15 AM
And, he has NO CLUE who put him there. He doesn't even realize he did it to himself.
Posted By: Dobie Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 12:49 PM
I'll be waiting for the report on how it goes today. Good luck!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 05:35 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
And, he has NO CLUE who put him there. He doesn't even realize he did it to himself.

ITA!!!

NO CLUE at ALL!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 05:36 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
I'll be waiting for the report on how it goes today. Good luck!

Thank you, Dobie!!

Too bad I don't have my Dobie yet, eh? The furry one. wink

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 05:39 PM
And I will TRY. I really will. I will TRY to keep my mouth shut about the drugs.

But if something comes out, it comes out.

It is SO disgusting.

And those pictures DIL showed me? Her comment was that he looks like a pedophile.

They look REALLY bad.

OWH-Slag looks like a crackhead.

DIL-Gray looks like a pedophile.

Sheesh!!

Posted By: Pepperband Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 06:59 PM
bookmark

makes it easier for me to find where I left off reading

carry on ....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: In other news..... - 07/20/08 11:58 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
bookmark

makes it easier for me to find where I left off reading

carry on ....

LOL!!

Awwwww....that's sweet!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 07/21/08 12:21 AM
Well, that went well.

At first I was a little annoyed because he brought the video camera and I'm like, "Well, I need to have a better record than that for Shiny. I understand that your guy wants you to do it that way but that doesn't work for us."

I didn't lose it but I'm sure the annoyance will come through on the tape, LOL!

I couldn't resist walking into the office area and cranking up my tunes a bit, though!!!! LOL!!! LMAO!!!! Ah cain't hep it!!! LOL!!

I was thinking..."Yeah, I gotta behave...Shiny will be very upset if I lose it on Gray with this!" Of course, there's my misbehaving with the music but oh well. Like I said, Ah cain't hep it!!

Anyway after I told Gray the deal with the different methods, he said well, he would do it that way and then when he took things to put up for sale that were already numbered and logged with Shiny.

So that worked out okay.

And yeah, he was pretty dang stoned. It was a pitiful sight. He almost fell more than once. I kept my mouth shut about it.

He was over here stoned and meanwhile...my alcoholic cousin missed work because she went on a bender and Mom went to pick her up and she drunk-dialed over here 2 or 3 times (my cousin, not my Mom.) I answered once and didn't pick up the next 2 times.

LOL!

Anyway, I showed him some pictures of grandson from the party yesterday. There was a little chit-chat about grandson and a little about the kids. I had planned on not talking about anything personal but oh well.

My friend came over but she didn't stay the whole time. She was getting restless so I told her to go check on everybody.

Oh, and this is funny!!

I had locked my bedroom door (I installed a new doorknob with a good lock last night)...so I decided to use the guest bathroom instead of walking all the way 80 miles to the master bath.

Well, I got locked in the guest bathroom!! The knob was stuck!! I started shouting, "Help! I can't get out!"

He couldn't open it from the other side. I asked him to go get a screwdriver but then after frantically trying to twist the knob a while longer it opened.

LMAO!!

And my friend had come running from the other room. I didn't know she could even hear me. LOL!! She said she thought I got locked out of the house!!

Anyway, at some point he finally started to look at me while we were talking. And I had talked to XW about this, yesterday. She believes he acts the way he does with me now and her then because he feels guilty. Yep. Makes sense.

But anyway, we went through some stuff together that I didn't know what to do with so that's cool.

Now I have a better idea of what he doesn't want and I can give some of that stuff to ODS and donate the rest. Some old computer stuff and software. Maybe some schools would be able to use it or something.

Once we got past the "disagreement" if that's what you want to call it; about the different inventory methods things went really well.

Oh yeah, and he asked me to email him these pics I need to get off of my laptop, I asked if he wanted them. Also some pics from the alternative party we had for DGS since the big one had to be cancelled.

He forgot his lt bag and had to come back for it and about 20 minutes after he left the second time I noticed that he left the video camera!! LOL! I didn't call him, though. I guess he'll notice sooner or later.

wink Evil me...I winked back!!! wink

Charlotte

P.S. I am happy about the way I handled things. I think Shiny will be proud. I'll email him about it later, though. I know he'll be looking for that email in the a.m. LOL!!!


Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/21/08 03:03 AM
Well, he called a few minutes ago about the camera. LMAO!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/21/08 05:38 PM
Okay, so I guess I'm.....what? In a modified B now? I'm not doing Plan A...

I can only be myself when he is here, I'm not putting on any airs or copping an attitude. He tried with the attitude thing, though.

Didn't work.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/21/08 05:40 PM
Oh yeah forgot to add:

I mentioned OWH's cds when Gray was here. I said that I knew some belonged to OWH but I didn't know which ones and I didn't want to get in the middle of all that so I just packed them up with Gray's things because Slag is the one who "borrowed" them.

I also said I wondered if OWH even knows they are missing since he has SO many. He is a DJ and has thousands upon thousands of cds.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/21/08 06:50 PM
Hmmmmmm....no comments. Guess that means I must have done everything right? laugh
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 07/21/08 06:56 PM
Hey, I haven't been on the Boards in months, and just caught up on the last few pages of your sitch. Good for you!

*"clap0clap-clap"*
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/22/08 02:58 AM
Thank you, Bellevue!! (Me: bowing and blush )

Well, OWH called me a little while ago. He's nervous about tomorrow. I told him he didn't have to worry, Shiny will take very good care of him.

Shiny told him I would be there. Well, I had a message from Shiny's paralegal today asking if I was meeting Shiny at the office to ride to court. I got it really late and my cousin was on a bender...continued from Sunday, yep.

So I called and left a message at the office. I really didn't feel comfortable calling Shiny's cell at this hour. Well, it was before 10 but calls after 9 or 10 have always been a bit late to call, IMO.

All that phone etiquette from days of yore.

I know...phone etiquette? WTH is phone etiquette?

LOL!!

So, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed I'll be for court in the a.m.!!!

I wonder if Slag will bring Gray?

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 07/22/08 05:41 PM
Phone Etiquette - Yeah, how I miss it.

Man, you are in the catbird seat. Taking the high road, using MB concepts, definitely a victor. Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.

Pep, bookmark, huh? Let's see if I can do that!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 07/23/08 02:39 PM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.


I LOVE IT!!!

A Traveling Torture Chamber!

How perfect can a description be?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/23/08 05:49 PM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Phone Etiquette - Yeah, how I miss it.

Man, you are in the catbird seat. Taking the high road, using MB concepts, definitely a victor. Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.

Pep, bookmark, huh? Let's see if I can do that!

LMAO!!! That's a good one!

Yeah, it's been one heck of an adventure. If we can get something going with the settlement counter-offer then part of it will be over soon.

But there will be plenty more adventures to have!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/23/08 05:50 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.


I LOVE IT!!!

A Traveling Torture Chamber!

How perfect can a description be?

Is POIFECT!!

laugh
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 07/23/08 05:51 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.


I LOVE IT!!!

A Traveling Torture Chamber!

How perfect can a description be?

Thank you, cinderella! wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/23/08 05:51 PM
Well,

I talked to DD today. She said XW suggested that I have Gray committed so he can get some help.

I don't know how to go about doing that and I'm not sure I really want to.

But I will do it for the kids if that's what they want.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 07/24/08 03:00 AM
Woman, you rock!!!! If that's what your kids want and you are still legally married, do it if you think it's necessary.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Update - 07/24/08 03:06 AM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Phone Etiquette - Yeah, how I miss it.

Man, you are in the catbird seat. Taking the high road, using MB concepts, definitely a victor. Gray built himself a traveling torture chamber, and he can't see that every nail and brad are his very own work.

Pep, bookmark, huh? Let's see if I can do that!

bookmark
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/24/08 03:18 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Woman, you rock!!!! If that's what your kids want and you are still legally married, do it if you think it's necessary.

Awwww....shucks, Ma'am, tweren't nuthin'...... laugh

Thank you, cinderella!! blush

I will if they want me to. It just feels like the right thing to do.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 07/24/08 03:36 AM
yeah, that's a good way to win friends and influence slags
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/24/08 04:16 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
yeah, that's a good way to win friends and influence slags

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/25/08 05:53 AM
Okay, so I guess I'm in Plan W now? Plan Whatever?

Not much I can do about it except deal with it and then go back into a dark B when inventory is done or if an agreement is reached for a settlement, though.

So this can't count against me!! LOL!!

So I have this other plan.

If Gray comes over here and passes out because he's extremely doped up, I will call the paddy wagon to come pick him up and lock him in rehab.

I will sign whatever I need to sign since I am legally still his spouse.

If this is possible, that is.

Obviously I can't go to his county and do anything.

And I will be good and not hasten the blackout.

Like, say, turn the thermostat up to 85 and put on my bikini. LOL!!

I thought about it, though.

And hey!! I can't help it if I dance around now. I'm used to being here alone working and dancing when one of those songs comes on where you just can't help it!!

Not something I ever did before around him.

So I guess we'll see how his attitude is on Saturday. May be in a foul mood because of Tuesday. Oh well. Too bad, so sad!!

I won't be. LOL!!

And yeah, I'll admit it. I wore a blouse that accented my midriff last time. Hey, I work hard for those abs!

And short-shorts? Of COURSE!! I work hard for those legs!!

Hee hee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wink

How does that song go again? Ya' cain't touch dis?

There's another good one by ZZ Top that I'll sing, "I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole!!"

LMAO!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/25/08 07:20 AM
Okay, here's my deal. Yep, I'm still up. Working on inventory.

Anyhoo....

I think that Gray probably thinks I want revenge or whatever. Well, I don't. However...I gotta say it was very gratifying watching Shiny tear her up on the stand. I look forward to Round 2! wink

And I can see she wants to rub things in my face. She sure tried. And from the stand, no less. Oh yeah, and then there was the waving and the trying to talk to me.

So anyway, I may never tell him, but I did tell OWH this the day I gave him the evidence.

I don't harbor any ill will. And I mean it. Early on, before I was led to MB by a higher power, I decided in my own mind that I would purge any bad feelings and not even think evil thoughts about him or about her.

I didn't think it would solve anything. I still felt like crap warmed over otherwise, but in that department I thought I was doing the right thing.

Mel even asked me why I wasn't mad. So did DIL. Get angry! They said. Well, I tried. I even DID have a couple of rants here and there, mostly when I was in my cups. Which was another wonderful reason to get OUT of my cups!! Wasn't doing anything but putting negative in me along with the alcohol.

I have thought about it a lot and I think that whole snafu with my ex-SIL helped in that department. I had to go through so much emotionally with all of that. It was truly awful.

And I thought about that a lot when I waited for Gray to come home from work as it got later and later in the evening, and I'd have my Bloody Mary or two to calm my nerves.

I would have been in a heck of a fix, though, if not for MB. Things would have been a LOT different and I wouldn't be here right now, speaking sanely. (for the most part! wink )

I was thinking today about the horrible shape I was in a year ago. Wow! A whole year!! It is right around that time where my body was starting to rebel because I wasn't eating. My Mom got me stuff to replace fluid and have at least some liquid nutrition and I had trouble with even that.

It's right around that time of year of that day I almost collapsed. I barely managed to get to the post office to send an important document to the courthouse because of Gray's DWI & Posession bust. He had forgotten all about it.

I went back to my grandma's and I was weak as a kitten. My stomach wasn't holding down anything. It would barely hold down water. I was supposed to see an IC that day but I had to cancel. I tried to call Gray to come and get me but he didn't answer. I slowly made my way home. I made it into the house and made it to the bathroom going v e r y s l o w l y.

I vomited. I was extremely dizzy. All my fluids were depleted. I crawled to the couch. He came in at some point, got me a bucket. I was SO dizzy, I didn't dare move even a FINGER. If I did, I had another violent heaving spell.

There wasn't even anything in me to come up. Foam. That was it. It was awful. This went on for 18 hours. He would check on me once-in-a-while while he was still up. I dragged myself to bed somehow but it was a long journey.

It hadn't changed by morning and he went in to work. I crawled out to the couch. I would crawl a few feet and then I had to lie down on the floor until the dizziness got better. I made it to the couch, though.

He was going to leave work to take me to the doctor but I nixed the idea. I didn't think I'd be able to make it. I tried to eat crackers and very bland things to build up some strength.

Yeah, when he left that morning I apologized for being so sick...I had a spell while he was nearby and I thought for sure my internal organs were going to come up.

He said, "It wasn't that bad." Me: ??????? What? Are you KIDDING me? (I didn't say it, but I thought it.) I really thought that he'd have to call 911 so they could hook me up to an IV.

It was awful. I have NEVER vomited that violently before, not even when I had too much to drink.

I think back to that horrible day and WOW!

Well, I didn't mean to get gross here but I was thinking about it and I wanted to write it down.

It's just hard to fathom...it was so, so, so, so, so bad and I thought it was the end of the world. And then I look at today, at the amazing difference!!!

Tomorrow, well, actually today, my nieces are coming into town with my sister. I am so happy to be here so I can have fun with them!!

I'll be in after Gray leaves on Saturday for a report. Hmmmm...what to wear? LOL!

IF he shows up. I think he will. I think he will try and get stuff out of me. I'm not worried, though. I can handle that creaky, drug-addled alien. wink

Have a nice weekend, Y'all!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 07/25/08 08:24 PM
Sounds like the lowest of the low places, Charlotte. You deserve lots of respect for the way you have pulled yourself up and out of the he(( you were in.

Flying way above Mr. Gray and out of his reach. He's in the Slag heap, you're soaring with the eagles.

If he ever gets his head out of his nether regions, it will take a heck of a lot of hard work for him to be worthy of you again.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 07/27/08 03:33 AM
Awwwww, thanks Bellevue!! blush

Funny you mentioned the soaring with eagles thing, I wrote a poem not long after I started dancing in February that was in that vein.

Yeah, I'm wondering when he's going to get kicked out of the Slag heap. The kids think she's getting fed up. I think she'll hold on out of spite, though.

OWH said she was not happy AT ALL that he filed for D.

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, I have news - 07/27/08 03:39 AM
Well, I got an email last night from FSO. I had sent a couple of pics from DGS's b-day party to him.

He sent back a couple from that Thursday of our court appearance when he and Slag took DIL, ODS and DGS out for DGS's b-day. (His actual b-day was the same day as court.)

So he said he was sick and would try to make it out for a few hours.

I wrote back to call me in the a.m.

Well, he didn't call and he didn't show up. After noon I received an email that said he was having stomach problems and he was going to work on stuff there. He asked for copies of the pics for inventory that he already has, but not at their apartment.

Or the house. I think they split time between the two, IMO.

So we emailed back and forth a few times and he was getting really chatty. I was surprised. Then I had to leave.

I got back a little while ago and there was another email. He may have written back again by now. Who knows?

I guess Slag wasn't around or something. He might have told her he didn't want her too close because of the stomach problems.
This has been an ongoing thing for years and he tries to avoid being to close to people when it acts up.

Personally I think the pills have a lot to do with that but that's just IMHO. I'm no doctor. But it does make sense.

So he wants to come by in the morning. To pick up a few things and maybe work on inventory for a while. Hmmmm.....I wonder what happened to church? LOL!!

So...how 'bout dem apples?

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, I have news - 07/27/08 05:43 AM
Oh yeah, and I figured out he was spying on me in gmail. Hmmmm...I told Mel in email that I'd have my bs detector cranked all the way up but I think it's already there!! LOL!

Oh yeah, and he mentioned that he would bring the "Planet of the Apes" dvd set that's really mine that he gave me but took to work one time so Slag could watch them or whatever because she never watched movies that were made before 1980.

He told me to remind him in the a.m. but I doubt I will call him before he comes here.

Sure is anxious to come over here. What happened to church? LOL!

After all that FUSS in court about how he couldn't come here on Sundays. Geesh!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, I have news - 07/27/08 05:44 AM
See? Now he has me wondering what he is up to and talking about him.

All part of his insidious plan, huh?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 05:15 AM
I will probably need some help in this department.

I wasn't ever thinking about friendship with FSO. I had pretty much immersed myself in B and moving on without him.

Now that we have been around each other, I know it may sound strange but we have this easy comraderie (sp?) when we are around each other.

I guess it's not supposed to be this way but we used to be really good friends before all of this crap and now I can see that I will probably have trouble going back into B because of this.

And I have NO doubt that I will be going back into B either when we get this inventory done or when the judge tears our contract in half.

I don't know if he's thinking about this as well but I'm thinking he probably is.

I really can't be friends with him since he is with her and all. It wouldn't be right but I can't help thinking about it.

But yeah, I hear it...I know I can't trust him. I know I'm going to have to watch out so he doesn't take advantage of me but I'm not getting that kind of vibe from him at this point. That doesn't mean I'm not watching, though!! LOL!!

I have shared tidbits with him that I didn't expect to share. I was going to keep everything on just the professional level but since we do have a history, things come up.

We haven't talked relationship stuff and I'm not going to do that.

I haven't said a thing to him about OWH or anything but my Dad called when FSO was here and I told Dad that I rode to court with Shiny to stand up for OWH. I know FSO heard that but I didn't see any point in being secretive about it. I'm SURE he knows I was there.

I know Slag would not miss such an opportunity to talk trash about me so I know she told him I was there.

And I don't have anything to hide so I didn't lower my voice when I was talking to Dad. Whatever for?

I guess my Dad got it, sometimes people get confused because I always say: I went to court because my husband's girlfriend's husband hired my Shiny Attorney to represent him in his divorce case. And oh yeah, BTW...I'm my own grandpa! LOL!! wink

I think it freaks people out sometimes but it really doesn't bother me to say it that way. I would never have imagined I would be able to but, wow! I can. And laugh about it.

Anyway, where was I before the train of thought derailed? LOL!!

Like I mentioned in another post, FSO has been very chatty and I received 2 emails from him on Monday. I have not goosed him in Yahoo IM, though. And he's usually always in there.

I don't get the gmail thing, though. I sent him an email on Sunday night to his yahoo account and he answered me with gmail. I could see he was IN gmail, maybe waiting for me to answer.

So I don't know, Folks.

But I'd appreciate any advice anyone might have for me since I am Plan Whatever right now. LOL!

Thanks in advance,

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 05:43 AM
Charlotte, do yourself a favor....don't ever get interested in a man who has a girlfriend who has a husband.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 06:27 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Charlotte, do yourself a favor....don't ever get interested in a man who has a girlfriend who has a husband.

LMAO!!!!

IIIIIIIIIIIII'mmmmmmmmmmmm my own Graaaaaandpaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was a GOOD one!!

Charlotte laugh
Posted By: Dobie Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 01:11 PM
Cinders is one smart lady!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 01:37 PM
Well, I do know that it can be messy when your almost exhusband becomes your boyfriend. When your boyfriend has a married girlfriend, that's a big problem. Your boyfriend's girlfriend's husband will probably tell people you are a serious idjit and stoopit-headed lamebrain. And, what's more, Shiny The Magnificent will get mad at you.
Posted By: Dobie Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 05:31 PM
Should I be scared that the convoluted explanation above is perfectly clear to me?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 06:01 PM
Nope....it means I think Charlotte should dance on off away from gray! I don't think she needs him.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 11:28 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, I do know that it can be messy when your almost exhusband becomes your boyfriend. When your boyfriend has a married girlfriend, that's a big problem. Your boyfriend's girlfriend's husband will probably tell people you are a serious idjit and stoopit-headed lamebrain. And, what's more, Shiny The Magnificent will get mad at you.

Yes. You are very right. I would not want to do that and end up being a third wheel in such a dysfunctional relationship!!

And I certainly wouldn't want OWH to think that! I'm so happy he didn't believe them and he validated me so much after I exposed their A to him! Especially by hiring Shiny!! OWH values my opinion and that makes me feel SO GOOD!!

And just think...I didn't even oversell Shiny to OWH. I just told him the truth. He would be well taken care of; Shiny doesn't pull any punches or play games; he will give it to you straight; and his people mean something to him, they are not just dollar signs going through the turnstile.

And correct, Shiny WOULD get mad at me! LOL!! Awwwwww....Shiny the Magnificent...I'm going to tell him you said so. wink

He'll get a kick out of that.

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 11:29 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Should I be scared that the convoluted explanation above is perfectly clear to me?

LMAO!! Nope!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Okay, here's my deal... - 07/29/08 11:32 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Nope....it means I think Charlotte should dance on off away from gray! I don't think she needs him.

Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaance the night away!!

Dance, dance, dance away from Gray!!

wink

Yeah. If there were requirements that would be number 3. One would be no Slag, two would be rehab, three-dance lessons!!!!

But hey, I can have a little fun while I'm in Plan W. I'm thinking about wearing my belly dancing money belt next time he comes over. (Unfortunately, I don't have a costume yet!! ;))

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Whew!! - 07/29/08 11:37 PM
I had one heck of a day today!!

Up at 5am.

Took my cousin to rehab in downtown H-town. Had to go to SS office to get her work history. Then back to the hospital. They checked her in. She's IN!! SHE'S IN!!!! HOORAY!!!!

I have faith that she CAN do this!! She WILL!! It's time for living!!!! Getting rid of that fair-weather friend alcohol!! No friend!! ENEMY!!!! False friend!!

Then had lunch with Shiny & PL-L...found out PL-T broke her arm!! Oh no!! She has to have surgery.

Changed clothes at Shiny's and went to the other school. Which I now like better than the one I was actually going to start the paperwork on Monday!! This interview was just kinda on a whim, to just check things out!! Boy oh Boy am I glad I went!!

Then back to Shiny's to pick up my stuff and visit for a bit before having to get on the long road home.

Whew!!!

I think I will sleep like a rock tonight!! Fo' sho'!!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Whew!! - 07/29/08 11:56 PM
who are pl-l and pl-t?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whew!! - 07/30/08 03:37 AM
Shiny's paralegals.

A pair of paralegals.

ParaleGALS.

a.k.a. "The Girls" as he sometimes refers to them.

Frick & Frack (can't remember origin)

Kling & Klang (H.R. Puf-n-Stuf)

Thing 1 & Thing 2 (Dr. Suess)

Chip & Dale (Merry Melodies?)

Heckle & Jeckle

etc.

wink





Posted By: Dobie Re: Whew!! - 07/30/08 01:45 PM
In my house, they'd be referred to as a Botayus.

Botayus is the plural of one o' ya.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Whew!! - 07/30/08 10:53 PM
LOL! wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 07/30/08 10:56 PM
Well,

I checked the bank account today. Gray used his old ATM/debit card to charge a shipment for UPS.

I wrote him and asked him about it. I was polite. No profanity. Told him that was my water bill money.

He has yet to answer.

DIL & DGS were over today at my g'ma's. Playing in the sand and with the slip-n-slide with my nieces. I might send a few of the cute pics to Gray. We'll see.

And...whew!! I found my 35mm camera. I was afraid he ran off with it at some point before I gave him the PBL but it was there. Feels good to be using it again.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Yikes!! - 08/01/08 05:40 AM
Well,

I returned from dance class and found that someone had broken into my house.

Nothing missing as far as I can tell.

I was just telling my Mom about this guy on the way home. Early Thursday, in the a.m., someone was knocking on my door. So I crept up to the door to see who it was.

There was some guy sitting on my steps, back to the door. I didn't know him so I didn't answer the door.

Later when I left to go to Shiny's to discuss the settlement and then go to class, I noticed a shredded cell phone in my flowerbed.

I picked it up and looked at it and put it back where it was.

When I got home I saw that there were pieces of this cell phone scattered around in a way they hadn't been before.

So I went in and left my things by the door, took my phone, grabbed my Ulu from the dishrack and searched the house. By the time I got to the last room I could feel heat and breeze.
A few more steps revealed a broken window and that's when I ran for the door calling 911 on the way.

Three cops showed up and checked everything thoroughly. No one lurking around. They are going to check throughout the night.

Meanwhile, I am staying here!! I borrowed a dog and a shotgun from Mom and got some plywood to put over the window. I'm not letting some thug run me out of my house!

I tried to call Gray, sent a text and sent an email. No reply. I think they are out of town. It was Slag's birthday yesterday, according to OWH.

I called him, too, to ask if he'd heard from them and to ask him to pass along the info if he does.

So I am here. About to go start hammering. When I returned earlier one of the policemen came by in his civilian vehicle not 45 seconds after I pulled in. He stayed while me and Phoebe went in the house.

There were fingerprints on the cell phone pieces and the cops took those. Hopefully this hoodlum is in the system and they catch him.

Charlotte
Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 05:44 AM
I'm glad you are safe, but that must have been very scary for you. Do you feel safe for the night or do you need someone to stay up with you tonight?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 06:34 AM
Originally Posted by QueeniesNewLife
I'm glad you are safe, but that must have been very scary for you. Do you feel safe for the night or do you need someone to stay up with you tonight?

Hi Queenie,

Thank you!! I'll be up for a while yet. I have one more piece of plywood to install.

I might be able to sleep, though. The adrenaline has been wearing off and I'm actually getting a little tired.

Of course it will be a different story once I'm in bed with the lights off!! LOL!

I imagine Phoebe will come in the bedroom with me and sleep on the floor. That will help!!

But if I can't sleep you can bet I'll be back in here!

Thanks again!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dobie Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 02:16 PM
Wow! If nothing was stolen, I have to wonder if it's somehow related to the divorce. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

I'd loan you my Rottweiler, but he's 14 weeks old and would do more damage to your home than the intruder.

If you haven't done so already, get a credit tracking service or something. Usually there's a lot of identification info in the house.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 05:56 PM
Originally Posted by Dobie
Wow! If nothing was stolen, I have to wonder if it's somehow related to the divorce. Maybe I'm just paranoid.

I'd loan you my Rottweiler, but he's 14 weeks old and would do more damage to your home than the intruder.

If you haven't done so already, get a credit tracking service or something. Usually there's a lot of identification info in the house.

Yeah, if I hadn't seen that guy I would have thought Gray was in on it. But Mom suggested maybe he sent a hit man. LOL!!

14 week old Rottweiler...yeah, there would be a lot more shredded than a cell phone!!!

Thank you. I'll do that.

Yeah, if I had my...*AHEM!!!!!* Doberman...(The furry one!! LOL!!)...there would have been one DEAD cell phone shredder hanging in my window!

grin

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 07:11 PM
Well,

FSO finally called me a little while ago. Sounded pretty concerned. Hmmmmmmm.....

He had a Freudian Slip and used incorrect pronouns, LOL!!

Charlotte
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 08:30 PM
Quote
Gray used his old ATM/debit card to charge a shipment for UPS.

Can you report his ATM card as lost or stolen? I did that several times when my H were separated (but for the wrong reasons-- just to get him riled up). Don't want to talk to me? Well, we'll see about that. LOL (Newbies, this is NOT MB behavior!)

Quote
But Mom suggested maybe he sent a hit man. LOL!!

Thatā€™s not funny Char. Stranger things have happened andā€¦ Gray is doped up outta his mind a lot lately. Take this seriously please!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 10:33 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
Gray used his old ATM/debit card to charge a shipment for UPS.

Can you report his ATM card as lost or stolen? I did that several times when my H were separated (but for the wrong reasons-- just to get him riled up). Don't want to talk to me? Well, we'll see about that. LOL (Newbies, this is NOT MB behavior!)

Quote
But Mom suggested maybe he sent a hit man. LOL!!

Thatā€™s not funny Char. Stranger things have happened andā€¦ Gray is doped up outta his mind a lot lately. Take this seriously please!

Yeah, true. But don't worry. Among other things, I'm a "true crime" buff. Ann Rule is one of my favorite authors. So he'd have to work PRETTY DANG HARD to get me!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 10:38 PM
You have been through so much.

I'm amazed at your ability to keep going always positive, always strong, always looking at the bright side.

Were you always like that?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:04 PM
Originally Posted by QueeniesNewLife
You have been through so much.

I'm amazed at your ability to keep going always positive, always strong, always looking at the bright side.

Were you always like that?

Awwww...thanks, Queenie!!

Well, I always tried to be positive all my life. My Mom set (and sets!) a good example for me.

My worst time was when my thyroid went out and my hormones were out of whack. Then I was not doing so well but I still tried to think positive, even though it didn't seem to be working!! LOL!!

Yeah, and it's been a heck of a life with all of the tragedy. Shiny commented on that the other day. With my uncle's murder and all the accidents and my sociopathic ex-SIL and Mom's house burning down...well...my grandpa used to say the family was cursed but I never believed that.

My aunt thinks so, though. But she's wrong. There are lots of people who have it much worse.

I do wonder sometimes how I am still sane, though!! wink

Or am I? Heeee heeee heeee heee hooo hooo hooo haaaaa haaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

Charlotte







Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:07 PM
You are an inspiration to me..

Posted By: silentlucidity Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:13 PM
Good Lawd,Woman! That's a lot of drama for a Thursday! I hope your nerves aren't too frazzled. I read your thread often (you're one strong, cool, funny, imaginative chick!), but I didn't expect to be reading about a burglary! I hope you've seen the end of this guy/gal<--stinker.

Hope you have a good, safe, fun weekend!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Hmmmmm, hmmmmm, hmmmmmmmmmmmm... - 08/01/08 11:36 PM
Well had a little fun with Gray today.

Couldn't be helped!! LOL!!

XW#1 sent me a text that she was going to the courthouse to stand up at YDS's marriage.

She said, "Help!! Gray is going to be there! I'll have to look at his face!!"

So I said, "Walk up to them and tell them that Shiny said, Hello!" They will think there is a conspiracy for sure!! LOL!!

She couldn't believe that he brought Slag but why is that such a surprise to everyone? says I!!

So I told her I was going to send him a text. To congratulate YDS & gal for me.

So I did. LOL!!

Then XW texted me that Gray's hair is now red, and so is Slag's. Well, her exact words were: "He went from brunette to blonde to honey *ss red!"

So I said, "Well, maybe she thinks that by changing his hair color she will change him! Surprise, surprise, surprise, Gomer Pyle...AIN'T gonna happen!"

So we had some fun with it. Why not? Can't dance!! Oh wait...I can now!! LOL!!

Yeah, he was pretty chatty on the phone earlier. He sounded like he was looking forward to inventory on Sunday. Actually he thought tomorrow was Sunday! LOL!

Anyway, Shiny is still worried about someone else being there to observe but I'm really not worried about it. I can handle Gray. Yeah, still thinking about wearing my money belt Sunday and practicing some belly dancing before Gray gets there, LOL!!

And of course, leaving my money belt on!!!!

Ha ha!! No way can Slag move like I can now!! Besides, she's not old to belly dance!! LOL!!

So Shiny is going to submit the counter-offer on Monday. There is NO WAY that Gray is going to agree to this. At least I don't think he will. Not unless Slag talks him into it.

And that would mean she'd have to borrow money against her retirement. OWH will be getting half of that, thanks to Shiny!! Hee hee heeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Juuuuuuuuuust wait!! It WILL happen!! I GARE-OAN-TEE it!!

Oh yeah, I took some test shots at Shiny's yesterday for lighting purposes so I can get a good idea for the web site photos. He ended up in a couple of them and I think my theory is going to be proven correct. He looks different every time he is photographed. Well, I used 400 speed film yesterday and he looks like Shiny, not any number of other people, LOL!! So that's the ticket!! Faster film!!

In other news:

My cousin is still in rehab. They are moving her to another facility where she'll have to stay for 30 days. No caffeine allowed there, even. So here's to my cousin's NEW LIFE!! YAY!!

I'm trying to get her to go to the school I'm going to attend. I decided which one and classes start on August 21st. So it's going to be a busy August!!!

Lucky for me the classes in August are "starter" classes for folks like me who haven't been to school in a while.

It's great on scheduling, too. You set your own, really. And there's cooking homework and there are some classes that you can do online. And every quarter you get a 1-3 weeks of break.

So.....COOL!!!

Well, I'll be back in to report any more adventures!!! And the Gray report on Sunday!!

Tomorrow my nieces are coming to the studio for dance lessons with my Latin Hip-Swingin' Heart Throb!! LOL!! wink

Charlotte





Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:41 PM
Charlotte,

I'm cornfused!! Are Gray and FSO the same person - your STBX?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:43 PM
Originally Posted by QueeniesNewLife
You are an inspiration to me..

Awwwwwww.......... blush blush blush

Thank you, Queenie!!

See, you and others here have faith in me and that really helps me a LOT!!

I don't feel like we are a bunch of strangers here. I feel like we are all family. Tragedy got us here, sure, but look at us now!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ha cha cha!!!!

Charlotte grin

Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:45 PM
I think we were posting at the same time. Did you see my ?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:50 PM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Charlotte,

I'm cornfused!! Are Gray and FSO the same person - your STBX?

Yeah. I alternate. Sorry for the cornfusion!!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:52 PM
Yeah! wink
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:56 PM
Got it! Now I can follow along.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:58 PM
Originally Posted by silentlucidity
Good Lawd,Woman! That's a lot of drama for a Thursday! I hope your nerves aren't too frazzled. I read your thread often (you're one strong, cool, funny, imaginative chick!), but I didn't expect to be reading about a burglary! I hope you've seen the end of this guy/gal<--stinker.

Hope you have a good, safe, fun weekend!

LOL!! Sure was!! Still hangin' in, though!!

Awwwwwwww......thank you, SL!! blush blush blush

I didn't expect to be writing about a burglary, either!! Sheet!!
LOL!!

I hope I've seen the end of him, too!! And that the cops can find him in the system and arrest him!!

Thank you!! You have a good, safe, fun weekend, too!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/01/08 11:59 PM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Got it! Now I can follow along.

grin
Posted By: silentlucidity Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 12:18 AM
Maybe MB should make a bouncing ball, so's we can follow along with Char's thread...boing...boing...boing grin
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 12:51 AM
More than a bouncing ball, I need a translation sheet to follow all of the names. One name per person Char, please. Remember, some of us aren't that brite :lightbulb:
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 01:52 AM
Originally Posted by silentlucidity
Maybe MB should make a bouncing ball, so's we can follow along with Char's thread...boing...boing...boing grin

LOL!! grin

Awwww.....I used to LOVE those old cartoons that used the bouncing ball. I'd love them now if I could see them!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 01:55 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
More than a bouncing ball, I need a translation sheet to follow all of the names. One name per person Char, please. Remember, some of us aren't that brite :lightbulb:

LOL!!

Awwww....darn!!

Does that mean you don't want to know Shiny's 25 other nicknames?

wink

My grandma got a new one about 3 weeks ago, too.

Gray is Gray a.k.a. FSO a.k.a. Stoned Immaculate a.k.a. etc. etc. etc.

grin

Well, HE thinks he is Stoned Immaculate, anyway!!

LOL!!



Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 02:01 AM
Well, I went home to go check on the dog and take her to go potty and she had ransacked my house!!

Tore the curtain from the door, chewed half of it...chewed a window pane out of the door, made a big mess in the utility room...aluminum cans everywhere, antennas everywhere, chewed into the camp stove, nose smears on the windows...aye-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

I just felt laughter bubbling up like a volcano ready to spew!! I had to hold in in because I was supposed to be stern.

LMAO!!

The fun never ends!!

grin crazy grin
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 03:09 AM
Yeah, mine did something like that last week. She's been spending a lot of time here alone so decided to let me know she wasn't happy about it by getting into the yarn. I've been working on a sweater out of some pretty expensive yarn and she had it all over the living room. A tangled mess with dog spit all over it. I was not laughing.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Yikes!! - 08/02/08 03:49 AM
Aw, that sucks!! And: eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww!! Dog slobber!!

Yeah, I can't really confine her to one room. That wouldn't do much good!!

I guess it will just have to be how it is. There's a baby gate at my g'ma's. I think I'll "borrow" it.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 08/03/08 11:27 PM
Wow! Gray left and gray skies rolled in!! We really got whalloped by a storm!! PHEW!!

He got here late and left early. He got at least 3 calls while he was here. He didn't even look at the phone on the 3rd.

HAD to be Slag!! LMAO!!

I got him to go through a bunch of boxes with random items in them, though. Yay!! I'll have more next time! wink

He said it was too bad I didn't get to go to YDS's wedding but he'd give me some pictures from the ceremony.

He spotted the tripod I forgot to put away so I told him I'd like to use it for a while because Shiny asked me to do the pics for his website but since T broke her arm I don't know when we'll get to do the photo shoot.

For all I know she might want to wait until her cast comes off. She could always put that arm behind her, though.

I hope she wears red. She would look FABULOUS!! A red suit. Yeah! With a shorty-short skirt. She LOVES those! LOL!!

He asked me about the settlement because it was discussed at our last hearing...he said he didn't have a problem with what Shiny requested.

I didn't really want to discuss it so I just said I didn't really know what Shiny told his lawyer and that Shiny & I discussed it the other day and he'd probably hear about it this week.

And he asked me about the school and how I'd afford this place and stuff. I said, well...I was hoping God might help out.

He said, "Well, He hasn't been doing much lately."

LOL! I didn't ask WHAT the heck that meant!

He was joking around about ODS and his Funky Boy Smell. We had a time with that when ODS lived with us. LOL!! There's still a warning sign on ODS's old bedroom door that says, "FBS Enclosure." Gray made it back when he was Jonesy. LOL!

He gets confused easily and stuff. I told XW that all the drugs might even lead to early onset Alzheimer's. Who knows?

Charlotte
Posted By: Dobie Re: Update - 08/04/08 01:45 PM
I suggest you put an explanation of who everyone is on your signature line to help everyone out. Here are a few of the cast members I can think of.

Gray / FSO /Stoned Immaculate = STBXWH
Slag = OW
Shiny Attorney / Doberman = Charlotte's kick-butt lawyer
PL-L & PL-T = Shiny's Paralegals

Can't think of who else I'm missing.

Also, the dog destruction sounds like separation anxiety.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 08/06/08 05:03 AM
Originally Posted by Dobie
I suggest you put an explanation of who everyone is on your signature line to help everyone out. Here are a few of the cast members I can think of.

Gray / FSO /Stoned Immaculate = STBXWH
Slag = OW
Shiny Attorney / Doberman = Charlotte's kick-butt lawyer
PL-L & PL-T = Shiny's Paralegals

Can't think of who else I'm missing.

Also, the dog destruction sounds like separation anxiety.

LOL, Dobie! That sounds like fun!

Yeah, I'd have to add that famous line from "Die Hard" in Shiny's description: "Yippee-ki-yay, M----- F-----!!" wink

Hee hee hee!!

I think you are right about the dog. Dang! Well, rock and a hard place on that one. I don't thing that creep will be back, though. There ARE other creeps out there, however.

Awwwwwww......so sweet!!! OWH is worried about me living by myself. He wants me to get a working firearm over here. (I have one now...heh heh heh!)

"Eat lead you scum-sucking pig!!" And..."Yippee-ki-yay, M----- F-----!!"

wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 08/06/08 05:05 AM
Well, I guess I'll have to do another PBL when we are done with inventory and/or when the contract is dissolved, whichever comes first.

I'd be happy and most appreciative if anyone has any suggestions!!

I sent in my application last night for the school I'll be attending soon. Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine What now???!!! - 08/11/08 10:40 PM
I gotta quote Rosanne Rosanna-Danna for this:

"My father used to always say to me...It's ALWAYS something!!"

rant2 grumble rant2 grumble rant2


I checked my mail today and...lo and behold!!!!...I got a notice from the bank saying they had an address change. Mr. Gray did what? rant2

Yeah, now I have his complete address, thanks to his latest little stunt. Shiny got the apartment complex out of him on the stand in May. I didn't ask him to do that, he just did it.

Have I been by there? Nope. Will I go now? Nope.

I don't know why he is doing this now. Is his "gurl-frayund" not keeping him busy enough or what?! grumble

Anyway, I called the bank and changed the address back. I get the statements electronically now but there are other notifications needed by post office mail.

This comes all after I filled out federal loan applications and everything with this account number, because I intend to keep the account, I have been taking care of the d*mn thing all this time or it wouldn't even exist! grumble

Yeah, I know. Everyone will say to close the account and that all sounds nice and everything but I am prohibited from doing that by court order, just as HE is. HE is not following the orders, however. So now I'm going to have to drag Shiny into the equation as well. More nonsense work for people who have better things to do. Like me. I'm supposed to be STUDYING!!!!!!! rant2

Not cleaning up after Mr. Gray!!!!!! rant2 rant2 rant2

And he finally sent a reply to a message I sent him the other day about his criminal attorney. I didn't get a chance to post it but his attorney called here and left a message that Gray had to be in court on Tuesday to sign a reset for his DWI/Possession charge. Hmmmmmmm......YDS had a different story that his dad told him about this. I guess I'm not surprised that he lied to the boy about it, though.

So I sent him the d*mn message. Didn't have to. Could have asked my intermediary to do it. But I did it. grumble

Anyway, I'm supposed to be studying for a test tomorrow for school for placement purposes. Looks like I'll be cramming tonight!! I studied last week but my nieces were here for a limited time so I had to spend as much time with them as possible. And take them dancing, of course!!!! hurray

I am beginning to look forward to going back into B when everything is done. I get the feeling that it won't be so easy now. I think he will not agree to ANYTHING Shiny puts in front of him from here on out.

I hope I'm wrong. I really do. I'm hoping we can get a settlement so I can go back into B. He is going to get dumped by her, I know it, I just know it. The court orders are only prolonging the affair, IMHO. grumble

Well, that's all my ranting for now. I might be back for more later, though. LOL! wink

Charlotte

grin

Posted By: Dancing_Machine WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/13/08 12:53 AM
I am now enrolled in school!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went today for testing and ended up doing the whole shebang!! Got my student ID too!

So I'm starting the summer session this month. It runs through October, then we have a break and the "real" quarter starts.

I get started off in Safety and Sanitation hurray and American History. puke wink grin

No cooking yet!! grumble

grin

Charlotte
Posted By: believer Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/13/08 01:11 AM
Good job, Charlotte! Going to school will be fun, fun, fun.

Hope you like it.

Poor Gray and Slag..............
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/16/08 12:28 AM
Originally Posted by believer
Good job, Charlotte! Going to school will be fun, fun, fun.

Hope you like it.

Poor Gray and Slag..............

Thank you, believer!!

Yes, it will!!

Especially when the cooking starts! WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

hurray
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/16/08 12:31 AM
Tomorrow is a court-ordered inventory day.

I sent an email to Gray asking him if he was going to show up. No reply as of yet.

If I don't get one by 9:59 p.m. CST then I'm going to send a text and tell him not to startle me because I have a working shotgun now and I am a crack shot, shotgun or any other gun. HA! I could outshoot Slag in a heartbeat, Baby!! (Well, I won't add that last part!)

I will probably casually mention that I'll be starting school the week after next.

I kinda HAVE TO since he asked last time about money for school and I told him I was hoping God would show mercy and help out.

Heh, heh, hehhhhhhhhhhhhhh......

Might throw a jump in him, eh?

grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/16/08 02:55 AM
I did it. I cain't hep it!! I am jes' full o' miss'chiff tonight!

Here is what I sent:

"Hmmmm....noncommittal. Well, let's see...what shall I infer from that?

Yes, no, maybe? I'll take what's behind Door #1 please, Drew."

See, I was good!! I didn't mention the shotgun at all!!! wink

grin

dance2 <<<<<<<LOVE it!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/16/08 06:19 PM
Well, I never got a reply either in email or by phone text, so...whatever!

Some people just have NO respect for court orders!!

That's fine, though, there's plenty here I can do on my own and later I'll be putting some items up for auction. He still hasn't done ANY of that.

And if by chance I put something up that was on his list...well oh well, that's just too bad!! I no longer have a copy of it anyway, there was but one and I gave it back to Shiny so he could make the counter-offer phone call with it.

If I happen to put up one or two of the items he wanted he can always bid on them. LOL!!

Besides, there are PLENTY of other items for him to pick from.

But I need money for school and I'm tired of pussyfooting around in this arena, dang it!!

Oh yeah, and I must add, he didn't put the spousal support in yesterday like he was supposed to. Surprised? Me either.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/17/08 04:13 AM
FINALLY received a reply from Gray earlier.

He said inventory is "on hold" because Shiny was supposed to receive some letters, he mentioned that the judge would receive them also.

Well, Shiny was in a seminar most of last week. I know that nothing was in on Thursday, though, because I talked to PL-T and she certainly would have mentioned it. She LOVES to tell me when correspondence is received from, "The Dark Side!" LOL!!

I'm a great influence on her, ain't I?

Anyway, I guess at some point next week we'll know what's up. That's going to depend on how long it takes Palpitine to get this information to Shiny. I can wait, no skin off my hair!

I wrote back and thanked him for the reply. I thought about it later and this doesn't really absolve him from showing up. Nothing "official" if it's "in the mail," IMO. But oh well, one less headache for me! And I won't have to watch him stumble around and mumble because he is stoned out of his gourd.

I did write back once more and suggest that he could still pick up his personal items. No reason he can't do that. Oh wait! There's ONE: Slag! LMAO!!

Gotta keep a tight rein on 'im, eh?

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Bellevue Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/17/08 05:41 PM
Slag knows better than anyone that Gray can't be trusted around wimmin. You are becoming quite the threat!
(evil cackle)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 02:11 AM
Another offer from the Dark Side...just in time for the holiday weekend so I can fret and fume about it all weekend. (Yeah, it was probably planned that way, LOL!)

Also attached was a letter from Mr. Gray's doctor. Apparently, he might have neurological damage. He can't drive more than 5 miles from home and blah-de-blah-blah-blah. Dr. attributes this to a B-12 deficiency. Oooooooookay....he went through the shots and all the tests and stuff last year. By the time I gave OWH the evidence and blew the A wide open (thanks everyone) the Dr. had moved him to taking supplements only.

So I don't know if I buy that whole thing. Plus, all of the descriptions of his "behavior" in the letter are all of the things brought on by his drug use.

Oh, and I really needed to know this: His testosterone is preposterously low. (TMI!! TMI!! TMI!!) :MrEEk:

Well, at least one of HER EN's is likely NOT being filled now. At least not by HIM.

I talked to OWH last night. He made the comment that I made last year at some point. Slag is going from the frying pan into the fire with the health problems.

Sure, OWH has health problems but his attitude is to take life by the horns. Mr. Gray's is to curl up and feel sorry for himself.

How long does he think she's going to take care of him? She certainly got tired of OWH's problems since she tried to bring it up on the stand. Blaming him. Whatever.

Pretty sad state of affairs over there. Yeah, pun intended.

So now I have to weigh all possibilities and decide if it's better to agree to this latest offer or let Shiny do the Chinese Water Torture thing for a while yet.

But I can't dwell on it all weekend and I won't. And not just because I have a paper due in American History on Tuesday and an online class assignment due on Sunday. Just because dwelling on it too much is not going to make the answer come.

I think that putting all the possibilities on the back burner on low and letting them simmer while I take care of other things may bring an answer.

I guess we'll see.

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! - 08/30/08 02:14 AM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Slag knows better than anyone that Gray can't be trusted around wimmin. You are becoming quite the threat!
(evil cackle)

LMAO!! dance2

Yeah, and I'm wondering if that had anything to do with the letter from the doctor, too.

"Doc, can you write me a note so I can be excused from working with my wife? My girlfriend said she'd dump me if I didn't get out of it somehow!" wink

Charlotte


Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 02:17 AM
laugh No more than 5 miles from home? That really is funny. And due to a B12 deficiency? That's a good one. What happens if he drives 5.1 miles? Does he go into convulsions, die, what?

This is one for the "Waywards Say the Funniest Things" book.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 02:25 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
laugh No more than 5 miles from home? That really is funny. And due to a B12 deficiency? That's a good one. What happens if he drives 5.1 miles? Does he go into convulsions, die, what?

This is one for the "Waywards Say the Funniest Things" book.

rotflmao Convulsions, LOL!!

Yeah, I'd like to know what happens when he hits that imaginary line, too!

rotflmao

Five miles...then...KABOOM!!!!! He blows up! Disintegrates, like when the Death Star blew up Alderaan (in the orignal, untouched Star Wars, that is!! wink Not the Lucas's folly one.)

rotflmao

Posted By: believer Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 02:41 AM
Only you know how long you want to drag this out. But this really sounds made up to me. When I divorced my sons' father, he pulled that - he couldn't drive, cook, do anything around the house, blah, blah, blah............
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 02:51 AM
Originally Posted by believer
Only you know how long you want to drag this out. But this really sounds made up to me. When I divorced my sons' father, he pulled that - he couldn't drive, cook, do anything around the house, blah, blah, blah............

LMAO! Really? Wow a co-inky-dink, LOL!! Or would that be just a "dink?" wink

Yeah, I don't know why I took that at face value when I first read it...well, I guess I didn't, really. When I read all of the symptoms it was obvious to me that it was his drug use.

But I did sorta believe it. For a little while. Then I started thinking about it...HEY!! What the....? grin

I would like to drag it out as long as possible. His criminal case is still pending, though. I'm guessing that that letter will probably be used verbatim to try and convince a jury of his innocence of the DWI & Possession charges. I really don't see how the letter will be able to refute his blood test, though.

He's still holding out for that jury trial. I think he's going to be very sorry about that.

Oh, and hey! I just thought about this: I bet Slag will end up paying his criminal attorney as well. Surely he's run through that retainer by now. It's been over a year.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/30/08 05:26 AM
If you are living somewhere with the diversity to take advantage of belly dancing and ballroom dancing lessons, I bet your idgit-headed Gray can take a taxi to get to your house if the alternative is contempt of court. :crosseyedcrazy:

This is a new item on the stupid-scale. rotflmao
Posted By: Dobie Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 03:53 AM
Excellent point, Cinders!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 05:20 AM
Threaten him w/ contempt of court if he doesn't honor the agreement. He can make transportation arrangements. Heaven knows I've had doctor's appts for which I had to have a driver....knee and hip and neck stuff. I have no children, siblings, or parent's who can drive me. It's my job to figure out how to get there and back. A taxi would do, in most cases.

Think Slag could drop him off at the end of the driveway?

If it was that or see him go to the pokey?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 08:40 AM
Quote
This is a new item on the stupid-scale. rotflmao

DITTO!! rotflmao

Ditto! Ditto! Ditto!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

New item on the stupid scale!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I LOVE it!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 08:42 AM
Quote
Think Slag could drop him off at the end of the driveway?

rotflmao

OWH suggested that Slag could bring him...

rotflmao

...I said, "Yeah, but she AIN'T comin' in MY house!!"

rotflmao

He said, "Awwwwww....why not?"

rotflmao

HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

In a pig's eye, says I!!!!!!!!!

rotflmao

Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 06:52 PM
Yeah!!

You got it. rotflmao

If he wanted to comply, he could find a way.

Same way I'm gonna get a ride home from my colonoscopy. ASK SOMEONE!!! crazy

Surely, slag must love him enough puke to drive him over, stop at the end of the driveway, let him out, and drive on. Is he too infirm to walk down the driveway? confused
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 08/31/08 08:44 PM
Quote
Surely, slag must love him enough to drive him over, stop at the end of the driveway, let him out, and drive on. Is he too infirm to walk down the driveway?

I don't know, from the sounds of the letter he might need wheelchair access, which I don't have!

I mean, WOW!!

He is playing the victim to the hilt. And he is going to make himself sicker because now he's in that mindset. He is going to make himself even older.

He is not going to make the best of his situation at all. I know it. He is going to make it worse and worse.

Now I just hope that she doesn't dump him until we get the D over and done. I can't have him coming here for help. Because he knows I'm a sucker for a hard case or a sick case and if I'm needed to take care of someone, I do it.

It would be hard for me not to want to help, even after all the crap he put me through. Especially if our contract is still valid.

I feel bad for him, sure. But I think if he got help for his addiction a lot of those things in the letter would go away. I don't know why he doesn't make the connection. He is not stupid. He is very smart. That is one of the things that attracted me to him in the first place. He was smart and talented.

Now? sigh

Seems to be all gone. Except for creative letter writing. :RollieEyes: (Or for all we know, forging. That's always a possibility. It's been done before.)

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/01/08 06:20 AM
So, he can give it all to you and you can catalog it and sell it. Then, he won't have to worry about helping w/ the inventory....or, you could just give it all to Goodwill and take the tax deduction.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/01/08 06:55 AM
For sure! Goodness knows I've been cataloging it since January!! Whew!!! :crosseyedcrazy:

Slag sure as heck wouldn't let him have even half of it, I'm sure! She might be putting up with his hobby now, but it's not going to last.

All I know is, I put up with it and supported his hobby all of these years and it's a good thing, too, since it might end up supporting me for a while!!

He doesn't need it anyway, he's already started a pretty hefty collection over there, at least according to his eBay logs! crazy

And there's definitely going to be a trip to Goodwill. Several, in fact! I don't know when I'll ever get this house looking like a home again instead of a warehouse but I'm not going to give up!! Even though I feel like this a lot: :crosseyedcrazy:

rotflmao

Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/01/08 07:21 AM
Ok....Shiny can get the judge to tell him he gets it done by 10/16 or it's all yours and you can sell it for some dough rey me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/03/08 03:33 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Ok....Shiny can get the judge to tell him he gets it done by 10/16 or it's all yours and you can sell it for some dough rey me.

Hee hee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Works for me!! wink

On that note:

I got out of history class today and saw that... hmmmmmmm... guess who called? Yep, my Doberman's Dinner. LOL!! I still have him in my phone as Shiny's dinner!! rotflmao

He left a really lengthy message asking if I talked to Shiny, the papers, deadline, blah blah blah, I just want it to end, blah blah blah... skeptical

Okay.

So I called him back. He didn't answer.

So he called me back.

Same deal: If the Dark Side doesn't hear anything by the 2-week deadline, his lawyer-Palpitine told him we are going to trial.

Okay, well, I haven't talked to Shiny about this yet, the letter came in when he was on his way out to visit his dad in another state. (His dad turns 90 this month.) And he was flying back in today so that means I won't be talking to him about it until Thursday, probably.

I already mulled it over and mulled it over and mulled it over some more over the weekend, but I'd like to get Shiny's input before I make any decisions.

There are so many things to factor in with the drug use, this "new" health problem, the criminal case still hanging over Gray's head, etc.

Trying to decide if the pros outweigh the cons.

All I know is: Shiny doesn't want to see this going to trial and all of the hootinanny that will cause money to be wasted.

Gray doesn't want to go to trial, either. He doesn't want to see my Mom having to shell out more money. (Smart, isn't he? Well, where else would I get it? LOL!)

Me: Not if we can avoid it.

Palpitine: Of COURSE he would LOVE to go to trial and waste more of Gray's (read-Slag's) money. He doesn't give a f*rt in a windstorm!! rant2

But anyway, that's where we are now. Gray tells me to do my best. He thinks that this is a really good deal (of course!) But again, that could go both ways, depending on the market when I have to sell stuff.

Oh and Shiny's PL-L told me that Gray called over there the other day. Did I mention this already? Oh well, if I did, I did and here it is again if I did:

She said he called and said he was returning a call. I'm like.....

Hruh?

Why? What? Who? How?

Who knows?

She said he was REALLY stoned and was having trouble talking, even.

So maybe he just made an error. I can't imagine anyone calling him, (I mean, what for? And it isn't allowed.) and I haven't had a chance to ask Shiny yet.

Yeah, so it's kinda funny that he called. I noted the time of the call...it wasn't long before he made that call that I was talking with my teacher during a lull in class and I told her what happened with the A and stuff. She has a friend that had to deal with that, her friend's husband had an A when her friend got pregnant. I told her I wasn't surprised! Seems to happen a lot. puke


OH! And this is cool!! I got a message from the Dobie people in my email when I got home! They are asking me if I'm willing to adopt TWO Dobies that can't be separated!!!

Well...hmmmm....gee.....hmmmmmmmm......that's a hard one!!

Of COURSE I can!!!

WOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! dance2

Well, I guess that's all I have for now. Dang! I didn't get to use "skeptical" dude...I'm going to look back and see if I can add him somewhere. LOL!

Charlotte

(heh heh heh!!! Found a spot!!)



Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/03/08 05:04 AM
Oh yeah, forgot to add:

He said blah blah blah...trial...then we go halvsies and he didn't want to do that. Go halvsies (halfsies?) Whatever the correct dang spelling for that non-word is!

So I dunno...I got the impression he wanted me to be taken care of, but it could have just been my imagination.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/03/08 04:31 PM
He's nutters.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/04/08 03:22 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
He's nutters.

rotflmao

Yeah, he sent me an email today. Well, he answered one I sent him. But he took the opportunity to ask about the paperwork again.

So I emailed him back and mentioned that I was sad to hear about his health because I forgot to mention it in the one I sent him last night.

And mentioned that DD is going to be starting vet tech school in October.

Then later I sent him another email because I found a camera bag with 3 cameras in it. He has his good camera already, though. These are a couple of older ones that aren't going to be used and one Nikon that *might* be okay.

Oh I do ramble on, don't I? Color me Robert Plant!! Or the Allman Brothers!!

rotflmao

Oh, because I asked him last night why he called Shiny's office. He claimed no knowledge but he identified himself when he called. He probably just doesn't remember. sigh Dang drugs.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, they finally made it... - 09/04/08 04:22 AM
OOOOH....cameras....cameras are good!....cameras are addictive.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Someone is in an all-fire hurry... - 09/06/08 07:39 PM
...or SOMETHING!!

Had to meet late with Shiny the other day because he had a mediation downtown.

So we went over the latest missive and compiled an answer. Which asked for more alimony and split the debts a little differently but essentially agreed to the other terms.

Faxed it to the Dark Side shortly after 7.

I sent Gray and email telling him the response was at Palpitine's and he could call there in the a.m., Shiny wanted him to know. Not long after I sent the email, the phone rings. It was Gray, asking me if I met with Shiny or not.

Yes.

He wanted to know what was in the response. So I told him.

He called Palpitine in the a.m. and sent me an email: Talked to Palpitine. Response is lacking. He is going to send another and if y'all don't like it, I guess we are going to trial.

Do I look scared? :RollieEyes:

I mean, he wasn't rude about it or anything, sounded more "matter-of-fact," really. And lately, he's been signing his name to his emails, which he hasn't done in a while. Yeah, I noticed.

So I wrote back that I wasn't surprised and thanked him for letting me know.

Gee, someone is in a tearing hurry or Palpitine is spoiling for a fight. And he doesn't EVEN wanna get in the ring with Shiny...he'd be TOAST, Baby!!

Not to mention those Mob ties....(huh? what? Mob ties? What? Huh? rotflmao ) wink

Anyway, I've been being kinda a pest in general because I keep finding interesting things and asking him if he wants them, etc. I sent him several emails Friday. I haven't sent any today. He answered pretty much all of them save for one.

The last one I sent was one I asked him about a movie, if he'd heard of it or seen it. He answered. No, but I was really curious about it because he liked the first movie and this was a third in the series that I hadn't even heard of. So it wasn't really a nonsense email.

But I was a bit curious to see if he'd answer it anyway. LOL!! (Yeah, we need that little devil smiley like Yahoo has!! Insert here!!! LMAO!!)

Oh yeah, and in the phone call on Thursday, he asked me about those dang catalogs again. I've gotten SO many emails from him about those! He wants to buy this batch that I have here. He said he talked to this dude in OK, (and I remember this dude a bit, they are radio buddies,) and dude has the same batch or close to it. So he offered him some money but he told me if I wanted to sell "my" batch it would be a quick $200.

Ooooooooooooooookay...well, I thought those were on his list that we just agreed to but whatever!!

So he said he'll get BIL to drive him out next weekend on Saturday to get them.

So I added that he could grab a load while he's here, too. Of his things.

Oh, and I told him that it's open for now but we might be doing that photo shoot that weekend for Shiny's website so I'd have to let him know. It depends on how caught up they get over there. If there are clients coming in that day we may not do it.

And I did let him know about the adoption, which right now, looks like it will go through. I sure hope so!!! I sent pictures of the fenced back yard and I'm not sure what the next step is after that. She's going to let me know.

So I guess Gray will be "comin' 'round the mountain" next weekend. I'm surprised he isn't asking Slag to drive him out.

I guess I'd better pick up the house a little bit. LOL!! Been too busy with school to mess with housekeeping duties much.

Well, I guess that's all I have for now. WHEW!! Sighs of relief all around!! wink

And darn!! I didn't get to use: skeptical anywhere! Oh well, just did!

Charlotte
Okay, maybe I am just being naive here...

But I feel it IS within the realm of possibility that Gray feels guilty about everything and genuinely wants to make sure I can take care of things until I'm a full-blown, certified pastry chef.

I think, yeah, that could be. Or: Slag wants to be rid of me asap, Or: He won a big prize in one of the lottery games and wants to be rid of me before I find out. (Yeah, but I could still sue him if that was the case, ain't it?)

I'm really not all that: skeptical

Should I be?

I have NO idea what to do because I feel that I should go back into B when things settle down...but I guess I'll need to draft a new PBL, huh?

A friend asked me the other day if it bothered me when I talk to Gray. No. Why? Should it? I am not uncomfortable talking with him. Probably because of the way we communicated before all of this crap.

The only difference now is that he doesn't live here. But there's no way we can continue on as friends. I'm sure he would like that but I don't think it's a good idea. Okay, yeah, I guess I would, too.

I think that this latest thing from the doctor will just allow him to not be responsible for his actions. Now he can say: "Well, this B-12 deficiency caused neurological damage so I am not responsible for anything that I said or did since (*insert any date here*)." And that he will use that as an excuse to continue abusing pills, too. "Well, I already have brain damage so what does it matter, really?"

So I don't know. I guess we'll see.

In other news: I told Shiny that OWH was upset about his bill. I am still perplexed about it but OWH doesn't have any basis for comparison so he really doesn't know. After all, he didn't go through what I did with that "so-called attorney" with my brother. It was: rant2 And I swear!! One of these days...I am going to call that punk and give him what for. Or at least write him a letter. Hey, I'll be cool. I won't do this: rant2 I'll hold back. But I'm going to have to tell him something. He endangered the lives of two innocent children and they are STILL in danger because of his incompetence. For something so SIMPLE I could SCREAM!!! rant2 Never in a million years would that have happened on Shiny's watch.

Anyway, Shiny pulled OWH's file and looked at it and he is confused as well. There's time that he spent that he didn't even charge for and of course filing fees, etc. aren't controlled by Shiny.

So Shiny's going to give him a call and talk to him. I told OWH he should call Shiny about it but I'm guessing he won't.

I'm just floored because OWH has NO idea how good he has it! I tried to tell him! He would be paying 2-3 times more with someone else, easy. And not EVEN have the same level of care.

I hope they get things straightened out. I'm sure they will.

Yeah, this was going to be a short post but when I think about that stupid guy, my bro's ex-"attorney"...aw, MAN!! rant2 Maybe I'll write him a letter right now!! rant2

Nah, I'm supposed to be cleaning house so I can photograph it for the adoption. They have the outside pics already. They want the kitchen and living room areas. Oops! I been bad! Too busy with school and I let things slide!

So I'm outta here to go TCB!!

Toodles!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Someone is in an all-fire hurry... - 09/07/08 02:10 AM
TTFN!

Go do what you are supposed to do!!

And, I should listen to myself.
skeptical
rotflmao

AHA!!! GOTCHA!!!!!!!

dance2

grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay, I just had a bout of LMAO... - 09/07/08 03:59 AM
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Just mindin' my own little bidness...dropped in to check email real quick like...someone won an auction that ended a bit ago...

So I clicked on it, not expecting it to be much higher than I had set the bidding at...

Well...Gray was the winner. At about twice of what I had expected to get.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

So I sent him an email: "Busy tonight, are we?"

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I had to do it!! I couldn't stop myself!!! I am so BAD!!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Awwww....should I have sent him a thank you card and one of these? kiss

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Or one of these? skeptical

Yeah, you know I HAD to get HIM in there!!!

hug skeptical hug

I WUV wittle skeptical dude!!!

skeptical skeptical skeptical

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Well, he did it again. skeptical

Think I'll get paid? skeptical

I haven't sent him an invoice yet. I guess I'll ask him how he wants to handle this since he's planning on coming out here next weekend. "Shall I mail it, Dear, or would you prefer to pick it up?" rotflmao

See, this is going to cause trouble when I go back into B, I just know it. grumble

Every time he needs a fix he'll just bid on one of my auctions. grumble

Not much I can do about it. I HAVE to sell the stuff. I CAN'T keep it, nor do I want to. rant2 Dang it!

When I left for a bit earlier to take some papers to the recycling center, I remembered a dream I had last night. Well, not all of it, but some.

I had a dream I was dating Vin Diesel. rotflmao I have NO idea!! I haven't thought about ol' Vin in quite some time!!! And apparently, this was pretty serious. Like an engagement! rotflmao

Well, that's okay. We are less than a year apart age-wise.

I'm still trying to remember what I must have seen the day before...surely that's what triggered it. rotflmao

And another dream, I don't think this was tied into the Vin dream but it could have been, I guess...

I was at the Renaissance Festival, trying to get to a certain little shop that sold talismans before they shut down for the year. I was trying to get a certain talisman for Shiny. I don't know what it was, only that he HAD to have it, it was VERY important.

And it had to fit my budget, I had nothing on me except a bit of cash, no credit cards or checks or anything else.

I do remember that there were a lot of pretty cool things in the shop. I don't recall if I found the talisman before I woke up or not, though.

I don't know what the heck that one is supposed to mean, either. Maybe nothing. Could have been just a dream, they don't always mean something. I know there are people who don't believe they EVER mean anything, but I am not one of those.

Well, I guess we'll see if I have some Vin dreams tonight. WOOO!! Maybe it will be a continuation and we'll get to the wedding ceremony, eh? That means I'd better have a Shiny dream first with him drawing up a pre-nup for me then!!! rotflmao

Have a great night, Everyone!

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: Okay, I just had a bout of LMAO... - 09/08/08 03:52 AM
Oh, I think you need to set it up so he has to pay before shipping...pack it up and ship it to him. Letting him pay for the shipping.

That works better with your schedule, KWIM?
It sure does and TARNATION!!!!

He beat me to the punch and paid this a.m.!!!! rant2

Ship to the work address...of COURSE!!! He might get in trouble otherwise!!!!

rotflmao

He better leave me good feedback, dang it!! I'll be like this until I get it: skeptical

rotflmao

rotflmao

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Okay, I just had a bout of LMAO... - 09/08/08 01:13 PM
Well, if he won't, I could.

"This vendor is always prompt and never dances around the truth. She knows how to get things done and is always on the move. I don't know how she does it. Perhaps, she is too busy to sleep."
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, if he won't, I could.

"This vendor is always prompt and never dances around the truth. She knows how to get things done and is always on the move. I don't know how she does it. Perhaps, she is too busy to sleep."

Why...thank yuh....thank yuh verra much, Mayum! cool

Yeah, I sent it with a return receipt. LOL!! Probably should have insured it, too. And I left him feedback. rotflmao
Finished my diversity paper for history, Baby!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I feel GOOD about it!!!!

YEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It might even pass muster!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

dance2 dance2 dance2

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray
The way you said "Yeehaw", it sounds like you just might be a cowgirl. stickout
Originally Posted by cinderella
The way you said "Yeehaw", it sounds like you just might be a cowgirl. stickout

rotflmao

Yeah, once in a while. Ah doan overdo it, though. Heck, Ah jes' started usin' mah acksayent agayun, rilly. I's tryin' ta phase it out fer years!!! So's Ah woodin' soun' too Texan!

rotflmao

Oh yeah, the report.

Well, the reply was at Shiny's so we looked it over.

They're trying to push me around. Whatever.

He refuses to voluntarily pay any more support but will offer a percentage of his bonus...blah blah blah...which is GUARANTEED...according to them.

Which, I forgot to mention to Shiny but he can use that for OWH because Slag claimed it wasn't on the stand. All I know is that we've had one every year since he started there.

Anyway, whatever!!! Shiny said we could counter it again...sounded good so I said, "Well, you play poker...so let's call their bluff."

So that's what we are going to do.

Because he AIN'T...that's RIGHT!!!!!!! HE AIN'T PUSHIN' ME AROUND!!!! rant2 rant2 rant2

I told Shiny..."Okay, fine. If we go to court, I don't care. Do you really think he wants to pay all that money? Plus they have Slag's case to worry about, too. Hey, he'll be paying 3x more for his attorney-Palpitine than I will! 'Cause I complained that my bill was too low, remember?"

Shiny>>> rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Because it WAS too low, dang it!! He knows it.

Oh, and Gray had the NERVE to accuse me of spending $29,000 on my brother's attorney and PI. Like H*LL!!!! rant2 rant2 rant2 rant2 rant2 rant2

Any money that I put on that credit card, my grandfather paid it back to me and so did my Mom.

That really chaps my *ss, Man!!! rant2 rant2 rant2

HE is the one that kept buying and buying and buying any buying until the cards were high as h*ll and it was like juggling Waterford crystal trying to keep up with at all. And who do you think was doing that?

Me. Of course!!

D**n good thing I keep copies of everything forever!! Hey, bring it OAN, Cletus!! You wanna go to trial? FINE. We'll haul out the WHOLE kit-n-kaboodle, Jackson!!!

rant2 rant2 rant2 rant2 rant2

But hey, I'm cool! cool

Charlotte,

I'm not sure why you are out of Plan B. I missed it somewhere along the line.

Also, confused on whether or not you want to recover your M.

Somedays I get the impression that you do, others not so much. Heck, you must be like the rest of us - on again, off again. UGH
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Charlotte,

I'm not sure why you are out of Plan B. I missed it somewhere along the line.

Also, confused on whether or not you want to recover your M.

Somedays I get the impression that you do, others not so much. Heck, you must be like the rest of us - on again, off again. UGH

Que sera sera...

That about sums it up.

I had to break B because of court orders. Dang. Can't count that against me!! wink

So I am in Plan (W)hatever, because I don't know what the procedure is for this.

He'll never take responsibility for his actions. He can blame it on his "neurological damage" now. And who knows? Maybe that DID have something to do with it.

I wanted him to get a CAT scan back when. Not long before I exposed to OWH for the 2nd and final time, he mentioned that he wanted to get one because something was wrong with him.

So I'm just going to concentrate on school and surviving.

And if we go to trial, so be it. (I guess he doesn't realize that we would go to mediation first.)

I don't care, I don't give a crap. He is not going to bully me into accepting less than I need.

All I know is, if it comes to that, he'll be sorry. Shiny will take him apart. He thought it was bad at the hearing in May? And that Slag had it bad in July? He ain't seen NUTHIN' yet, Baby!! Shiny will rearrange his molecules!! Permanently!!

Bombs away!!!

grin

Charlotte




Gol-ll-eee!

I freaking LOVE you, Char!
Are you ok w/ this much contact with him?
Originally Posted by cinderella
Are you ok w/ this much contact with him?

Well, I would feel better if my new Dobie roommates were already living with me. (heh heh heh) But he seems to have more of a problem being around me than the other way around. Especially since he has to get so doped up first. puke

Since that fax yesterday I'm almost tempted to call him or email him to forget about Saturday but I really want him to take a load of his stuff so I'll have more room.

Just because he made that comment about the money. And you know what? I don't know where he's getting those figures. That was probably about the right amount that my Mom and grandpa spent. Actually more, I'm sure.

The total we spent was paid back by my grandpa before he passed away and my Mom when some land sold.

I had to borrow money from HER when he kept draining the bank account for his eBay addiction.

But that's okay. That's alllllllll right. He is wrong, period. I shouldn't have gotten my blood pressure up over it. Well, HE doesn't know that it did and that's the way it stays. I'm not saying anything about the comment to him.

Charlotte
GREAT NEWS!!!!!

The adoption was approved!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

Now the only thing left is to get them here. So I either have to drive to Tulsa, OK, or see if they'll meet me halfway, or hope that it's not too expensive to fly them here!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excitement!!!!

Yeah, Tulsa is about 8 hours away. I will probably be driving myself. I would ask Shiny's PL-T, but she was attacked by Dobermans and treed atop a big aquarium while babysitting before, so she's not too thrilled about Dobies!

Ahhhhhhh......but LOVE WILL find a way!!!!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dobie Re: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! - 09/11/08 07:52 AM
Yay!!!
So, are you gonna name them Tango and Mambo....Rhumba....ChaCha...Watusi...Moonwalk....
Judging by the weather, maybe it'd be a good idea to get outta Dodge for awhile and make the trip to Tulsa?

Just stay safe.

Battoning down the hatches,
Kimmy
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Judging by the weather, maybe it'd be a good idea to get outta Dodge for awhile and make the trip to Tulsa?

Just stay safe.

Battoning down the hatches,
Kimmy

Hi Kimmy!!!

Yeah, that's true! Hmmmmmm......... think

grin

Charlotte

P.S.) Oh, and my apologies!! I missed answering your last post!! blush
Originally Posted by cinderella
So, are you gonna name them Tango and Mambo....Rhumba....ChaCha...Watusi...Moonwalk....

rotflmao

Well, I thought about Smith & Wesson!! rotflmao

Wesson would be an unusual name for a girl but still passable!

I also thought about Shiny & a portion of Shiny's last name, which is a type of flower. rotflmao

That would definitely work for both!!

rotflmao

That would be SO hilarious!!!!

I could just see Gray....coming over here and my Dobies are named after Shiny!!!!

rotflmao

rotflmao

rotflmao

OMG that would be FUNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I don't know yet. I'm still thinking about it. I don't think I want to keep their names, currently they are Chance & Shy-shy. And they may not want to keep their names, either.

I guess I'll get to know them first and then we'll take it from there.

Originally Posted by Dobie
Yay!!!

Heck yeah!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2 dance2

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

Quote
P.S.) Oh, and my apologies!! I missed answering your last post!!

De nada.

You're a busy lady.

We had a dobie when I was a young'un named Contessa...and she was very noble.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine No-go - 09/11/08 06:20 PM
I emailed Gray to see if this weekend was a go or no-go. I also asked if they were planning to evacuate. flirt

So he wrote back no-go and no. mad

Hmmmmm.....not very chatty today. skeptical

I figure:

1. He got word from Shiny that I wasn't bending to their bullying :twobyfour:

2. He figured it out all by his wittle self faint

3. He's p*ssed about what I put up on eBay (Hey! I'm only following court orders!) cool

4. He's p*ssed about the tagline I have up whistle

Well, whatever. Or even better: WhatEVAH!!!!!! rant2

Do I look like I give a rat's ***? stickout

I was hoping he'd at least get some of his stuff out of here, though. grumble

Oh well.

PL-T can't go with me to Tulsa. cry

Guess I'll ask Shiny next. :MrEEk:

Yeah, he's just crazy enough to do it, too. rotflmao

But nah. There's a good chance they'll meet me at some point between here and there so I'll go by meself. Unless flying them in would be cheaper, and it might be. grin

So we shall see!! dance2

Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Quote
P.S.) Oh, and my apologies!! I missed answering your last post!!

De nada.

You're a busy lady.

We had a dobie when I was a young'un named Contessa...and she was very noble.

grin Thank you. Yes, true. But I still need to be more careful!

So I am punishing myself: flirt :twobyfour:

Awwwwww.....Contessa....how SWEET!!!!! We had Gillis and Roman. Gillis was a black Dobie, Roman was a red Dobie. Both as sweet as sweet could be!!

I don't know why Dobies have such bad reputations. dontknow Must be all that malicious gossip!! grumble

grin
Two dobies....Zelda and Maynard.
Originally Posted by cinderella
Two dobies....Zelda and Maynard.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah, I remember!! wink
Weren't Dobie's parents Winifred and Herbert?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No-go - 09/12/08 04:14 AM
rotflmao

Well, it was #1 after all!! Shiny faxed it yesterday. rotflmao

Shiny said, "There's just NO reason he can't help you since he makes so much money. And you're not the one who cheated!! Hey, if you do the crime.....you do the time!!!" rotflmao

"Dang tootin'!!" Said I. grin

Plus, Slag is footing a lot of bills. Heck, he's on EEEEEEEAAAAASY Street!!! rotflmao

Awww....and Shiny read the letter to me and it was so eloquent!! Of course the Dark Side won't appreciate the eloquence, it will only enrage them and make them do this: rant2

rotflmao

Yeah, Shiny was hilarious today! But he usually is.

I told him I didn't like talking to guys because they always have a secret agenda. So he's all..."Well...the last time I checked my driver's license....I was a guy!!" rotflmao

I said, "Yeah, but you don't have a secret agenda, except for food!!! And that's no secret!! All my guinea pigs are lined up with their mouths open and you're at the front of the line!!"

He says, "And don't forget, you won't forget, right?!! Don't forget!!" rotflmao

Awwwwww.....so SWEET!!! You just can't not like someone who loves food!!

He's really going to have to keep up with his diet now...he has a sweet tooth and when I have homework....look out!!

Yeah, I don't know if I'm going to open a bakery/deli or a restaurant. Whatever it is, Shiny will eat gratis forever!

It'll be just like in the Sopranos with Artie and Tony except I won't have to worry about Shiny's captains coming over for a cut of my profits. rotflmao

But I WILL have protection!! rotflmao

I also told him that I told my cousin he had asked about her, (she's still in rehab) and how thrilled she was because she thinks no one cares about her, her self-esteem is really low. He said, "Well, I DO care about her."

Awwwwww.....and they haven't even met yet!

He also said he'd put it in writing and sign it for her. I told him..."Well, she'd just be tickled pink!! And it's not easy to tickle HER pink!!!" rotflmao

So we had a good visit.

Yeah, I think I'm going to ask him next time if he would be my adopted brother, or uncle. (Since he's WAAAAAY too young to be my dad!!!) I don't have any male influences in my life anymore. They all died or they are far away. And my Dad has this thing where he always has to be right no matter what. My sister was even too intimidated to tell him about her engagement! And my brother, well, he's in SF and he's my LITTLE brother. Shiny is really close in age to my uncle who died so horribly in 2000. There's only a 2-year age difference. And that uncle was really like my older brother since my Mom was 16 when I was born. I get along really well with people that age. Because I grew up with them. They made me older, in a good way!! Taught me lots of great things. That's why me-n-Shiny get on so well. So...I'm losing a husband and gaining a brother! grin

And IF I ever decide to date again....I will give them Shiny's card to call and pass the Shiny test. If they have the guts enough to call, I might just go out with them!! rotflmao

So, after I left Shiny's, I called Mom to see if she made it home through the mess on the freeway with the evacuation. Yeah, she took the secret back way.

That's what I did after belly dancing, took the OTHER secret back way. Smooth sailing alllllllll the way!! Then I saw the interstate after I came out from a road from BFE. WOOOOO!!! STILL almost a parking lot!! And we're 50 miles from downtown Houston!!

I would have been okay either way because if the traffic was really bad, Shiny said I could come over there and wait for it to die down. That was real nice of him. But since I know the secret back roads home, I took them. Darn!! wink I wouldn't have minded laughing for a while more. Ah well, maybe next time.

rotflmao

Yeah, the police department here wants us to evacuate but we aren't going. I hope my house makes it through. We haven't had a bad hurricane get so close to us for a really long time. Since the 80's, at least. Yeah, I think it was '83.

This house wasn't here then. Well, I'm not going to worry about it. I might pack a few things in case I need to bug out of here. Good thing my insurance is paid up, payment was due tomorrow but I paid it today over the phone to make sure it went through. LOL! I don't know if it will matter since a hurricane is an "act of God," but there is a giant oak tree in just the right place to get knocked over on top of the house so it might cover that if it happens. I hope not, though. It's a really nice tree. And there are a couple of others that my grandpa planted. I don't want to see those go, either.

Well, that's enough yakkin' from me tonight I guess!!! rotflmao



Posted By: Dealan-de Re: No-go - 09/12/08 01:23 PM
Do you really have cavies?

I've got two.

King Henry and Sir Hamecelot....

And I'm getting Shiny some razors, since all guiena pigs are naturally fuzzy.
Posted By: cinderella Re: No-go - 09/12/08 01:30 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Do you really have cavies?

I've got two.

King Henry and Sir Hamecelot....

dontknow
Best dogs we ever had were Dobies. I have pictures of my 1-year old daughter asleep on "Candy"... a red doberman we used to have. Somebody actually stole her right out of our backyard. cry

Then we had Roxie and Sadie (short for Mercedes). When they were pups we gave them an old couch to play with. They tore that thing to smithereens.
rotflmao
Cavies are an easier way to say guiena pig.

Guiena pigs ROCK! Besides platypi, they are one of the funniest animals God invented.
Posted By: eeyoree Re: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! - 09/12/08 02:31 PM
Mornin' Charlotte!
hug

Just wanted to stop by and say Hi smile

I'm gonna try to catch up on your story today-- dunno if I have 237 pages worth of time tho... I can skim wink

I like all your nicknames and the use of the little smiley dudes tho... lashes

That should make it entertaining to read!!!

E.

I must confess: I mostly remember Zelda, Maynard G. Krebs and of COURSE Dobie!!! grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: No-go - 09/12/08 11:30 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Do you really have cavies?

I've got two.

King Henry and Sir Hamecelot....

And I'm getting Shiny some razors, since all guiena pigs are naturally fuzzy.

Yeah, we used to have one named Crystal. She was one of the fuzzier one. All white, too. My best friend had her and wanted another pet so we adopted her. My bf used to go through a lot of pets!!

Awwwww....razors for Shiny!! rotflmao
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Best dogs we ever had were Dobies. I have pictures of my 1-year old daughter asleep on "Candy"... a red doberman we used to have. Somebody actually stole her right out of our backyard. cry

Then we had Roxie and Sadie (short for Mercedes). When they were pups we gave them an old couch to play with. They tore that thing to smithereens.
rotflmao

Awwwwwwww.......how CUTE!!!

Sad about someone stealing her, though. Yeah, someone stole Roman from us. rant2

rotflmao An old couch!!! LOL!! Perfect idea, pm!! I've been wanting to get rid of this old couch foe-EVAH!!!! Now I can use it for a doggie chew toy!! Thanks for the tip!!!!

rotflmao
Originally Posted by eeyoree
Mornin' Charlotte!
hug

Just wanted to stop by and say Hi smile

I'm gonna try to catch up on your story today-- dunno if I have 237 pages worth of time tho... I can skim wink

I like all your nicknames and the use of the little smiley dudes tho... lashes

That should make it entertaining to read!!!

E.

Hi eeyoree!!

Thank you!! Yeah, pretty dang long it is. Ain'ta goana get no shoatah, neithah!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: not2fun Re: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! - 09/13/08 12:09 AM
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


Char,

Can I just tell you "YOU ARE MY HERO"????......

I love reading your stuff...it always brings a smile to my face, even when nothing else will...... kiss kiss


not2fun
Only because of the internet do I know Dobie's parent's names. I be smaaart.
Originally Posted by cinderella
I be smaaart.

And you take your Ginko.
No no no

She's smart because she gets her insurance from a gekko and a duck
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Wow! I had a FULL day!!!! - 09/27/08 05:02 AM
Well, where to start...hmmmmmmmmmm.......

Looks like we are going to trial!! Funny, 'cause the other day I asked Shiny if he wanted me to start hunting and gathering just in case! LOL! Got word two days later!!

Gray is coming out with his brother tomorrow to pick up his personal items. I'm not saying a word about getting the papers. I wonder if he will try and bring it up?

He wrote me the other night and I was curious because his email had a different tone. I wondered what was up. Well, I guess I know why now!!! LOL!!

I'm not worried. I have Shiny. And OWH for a witness. I'm good.

Today I went to class and managed to only be 10 minutes late. Last time I was an hour late because I left 5 or 10 minutes later than usual. Traffic was horrendous!! So today I jumped off of I-10 and took another route. It's so much worse now after the hurricane than it was before. It's not just traffic lights out, I think more people are staying on the west side of town now.

Anyway, so after class I debated going by Shiny's but decided to go home since I had to ship stuff out for eBay. PL-T called when I was packing it up and asked if I wanted to come in or if she should mail the papers. So I said I'd come in. Dang! I KNEW I should have stopped by! Oh well.

Yeah, they came in on Thursday but I didn't have belly dancing that evening so I didn't go into town.

But what the heck? I needed to go to the library for my research paper anyway. PL-T went to the library and got a card for me because it costs $70 if you don't live in Harris County.

So yeah, buncha more stuff to do now. But that's okay.

I visited with Shiny for a while and I got to be a witness for a will. Cool! First time I got to do that ever! Then we went and had supper at Carrabba's. Mmmmmmmmmm......I've been wanting to make it back there like FOREVER!! How did he know? LOL!! Hey I was good for ANYPLACE with food, I told him, since I hadn't eaten since 9:30 a.m. or so and that was just a teeny sausage biscuit. So that was his pick. And a dang good one.

So while we waited for a table, I returned Gray's call. He had called me on the way to Shiny's but I didn't know because the phone was off but the music was cranked up anyway so I wouldn't have heard it, LOL!!!!

It was just a reiteration of his email message that I didn't answer before I left home. Too busy!!

Well, he answered the phone on the 2nd ring. Sounded pretty lucid actually. Do you think he's weaning himself off of pills? That would be a good thing. But he's being too nice, I don't trust that at all. skeptical

Could just be because of the trial, who knows? I'll see what he says tomorrow, if anything.

I told Shiny I'm going to have my cell on my body so if they truss me up and toss me over the bridge I will call him yelling: HEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP!!! So he can come and toss me a rope!! LOL!!

Dang, I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight!! And I have homework besides the research paper!!! EEK!!!! :MrEEk:

Ah well, that might be the sleeping pill I need. LOL!!

That's all I can think of for now...oh, and I told Shiny that we should put him on my horse for the photo shoot. He is a Texas attorney, after all!! LOL!! So he says I'll have to use duct tape so he doesn't fall off!! LOL!! Okay, then, he can stand next to her. She matches his eyes, it'll be great!!

Well, I can't get him to wear the vest with the watch on a chain thing...very "attorney-like," IMO!!! LOL!! He wants to wear his football jersey and jeans. So, hey!! Get on the horse then!!

Well, we'll get some great photos however it works out. He'll have more work than he can handle. Oh wait, it's pretty dang close to that now!! I guess Baby Attorney is going to have to get busy too, then. He is around helping out sometimes. He told me one day that if it wasn't for Shiny he'd be out on the highway carrying one of those signs! Awwwwww!!! Baby Attorney has the CUTEST license plate!! Well, maybe not the cutest, but it's cute! I guess I'd better not put it here but it is legal jargon, I'll just leave it at that.

Okay, I'd better get out now, this is getting really, really long!

Toodles!

Charlotte
Originally Posted by not2fun
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


Char,

Can I just tell you "YOU ARE MY HERO"????......

I love reading your stuff...it always brings a smile to my face, even when nothing else will...... kiss kiss


not2fun

Awwwwww.....thanks not2!!! That is SO SWEEEEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kiss kiss kiss

Yeah, it's NEVER boring around here. NEVER!!!! LMAO!!!!!!

Can you believe how far you've come?
Char,

Are you going to trial because you couldn't agree on settlement? I thought that you had that wrapped up. Maybe I missed something somewhere. Probably did since your thread is so dang long.

Give me the Cliff Note summary please.....
LOL!! Sometimes I can't. Sometimes I think I really will wake up and realize I'm in a padded room trussed up in a straitjacket and that this was all a dream.

And HEY!!! I witnessed a will...I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD now! I'm nationwide!!!!

Actually, it was two wills, a husband and a wife. Double bad, me! Heck yeah!!! Bad to the bone!!!!!!!!!!!

cool

dance2 dance2 dance2

Oh yeah, and I forgot to add the funny part. I wore my concert tee to school so I still had it on when I went to Shiny's. It says, "The Evil that Men Do," (which is a song by the band) and has a little dude holding up a contract. PERFECT for witnessing a will, eh? LMAO!!

rotflmao
Quote
Give me the Cliff Note summary please.....

rotflmao

Well, Chai...I'll try!!!!

Gray "absolutely refuses" to agree to pay spousal support. He offered some paltry amount like $600 a month. I just don't feel that is fair, I have to go to school so I can become a Certified chef!!

I mean, I can do a LOT of things but that is not going to get me a job to the point where I can support myself. And it's going to take some time to write the book, too.

I don't think that it's unreasonable for him to continue to help me. I took care of him through thick and thin and sick and sin. I stood by him when Boy1 wanted to live with us instead of him Mom and it was a horrendous mess in court. (Because I didn't know Shiny then, or it would have been, "Wham-bam, thank you, Ma'am!) LOL!

Then we had problems with Boy because of his mental state. But we stuck it out and helped him. We ended up having to do "tough love" with him and I don't know if that was what ended up turning him around but he got himself turned around, by gum!!

And my family bonded with all the kids, too. Especially my Mom, they were never "steps." To any of us.

So he couldn't handle it when he thought I was going to kick the bucket and turned to someone else. Of course, who KNOWS how he twisted history around. He already brought up the thing with my ex-SIL up through his attorney and that's just bs. Of the purest ray serene!!!!!!!!

Anyway, nothing was mentioned yesterday about it. He was on his best behaviour, and so was his bro.

I don't care what he thinks he's going to do. He doesn't seem to understand that my attorney WILL rule the day! (Hey, PL-T just told me a story about how Shiny had a corrupt minister thrown in jail with his collar and all!!! LOL!!)

Here's what I think, too, though. His "attorney" (ha ha ha!!) Palpitine mentioned in the accompanying letter that his office was moving. Hmmmmm.....bigger digs, eh? So now I wonder just how much of it has to do with that, as well.

You would think that he would get a clue that Palpitine sucks, especially since his girlfriend neglected to hire him to represent her! ROTFLMAO!!! rotflmao

It doesn't matter what he does, though. I am going to be fine. And enjoy attending school, especially next month when we start woikin' in da kitchen!! WOOOOOOOO!!!!

And was I nice yesterday? But of course! I smiled a LOT, and it wasn't forced it all...just came naturally!! I even talked about how it's taking a lot of time to sort through our things and separate them out since it has been so many years since we married and it just takes a lot of time to do it!!

Okay, so I tried!! LOL!! If I left anything out I'll be back to stick it in later!! I need to lose this headache so I can work on my research paper. Dang sinuses!!

Charlotte
Found a great song for the BWs!!!

Click on the song entitled "Tiger's Eye"
Awwww.....I can't find it!! Help?

grin
Posted By: MicheleG Re: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! - 10/02/08 01:21 AM
I could listen to it. It was good.

You're doing good Charlotte. Shiny is going to rule the day!! Don't settle for less than what you deserve.
Originally Posted by MicheleG
I could listen to it. It was good.

You're doing good Charlotte. Shiny is going to rule the day!! Don't settle for less than what you deserve.

Hi MicheleG,

I couldn't even find it to click on the link. Is it on the first page to come up when you click on the link cinder posted?

Thank you!! Yes, Shiny is definitely going to rule the day! He is going to make some Gray pancakes!! rotflmao

He'll probably get to make some Slag pancakes first, but what the heck, it's ALL good! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rotflmao

They won't want those pancakes on the menu at IHOP, though. Blech!! Phooey!!! Yuck!! Ew!! sick puke

I won't settle for less than I deserve, dang it! He can't make me! rant2 He had the affair, dagnabbit!! Now I am going to school to start over and he can darn well help out in that arena! rant2

But really, he just doesn't GET it. He is NOT going to win! Plus, OWH called me last night and he is ready to come and testify when I need him. Unless this thing gets resolved in mediation. Probably won't, though. So Gray is hopelessly outsmarted and outgunned. Yep, still bringin' a pea shooter to a gunfight!!! rotflmao

Charlotte
Yeah, go to the page...on the right side there are some links to songs.....click on "Tiger's Eye".
Well, we ALMOST had Shiny's photo session today!! It was all set...
I had all the lights and goodies ready and I drove into town to drop of my final exam for American History--(we had a take-home exam, WOO-HOO!!)--then headed to Shiny's.

Blast it!! He got called downtown for an emergency hearing! When he got back, I told him, "Yeah, I had a feeling you were going to try and avoid it!" LOL!! (But he really did have an emergency hearing so I forgive him.)

He has self-esteem issues and is worried about taking photos. He thinks he won't look good. Are you kidding me? Nope! It's true. So I reassured him as best I could and asked him to wear that sage suit he was wearing on Tuesday because that color goes really well with his skin tone.

And we reset the shoot, so we're cool. I told him the other day that he just needs to think about it like going to the dentist. You don't want to go but you are always so glad you got it overwith!

I allso told him that if he runs off on me on the day of the shoot that I'm going to hunt him down and make him sit on the horse for the photos instead! LMAO!!

I told him about OWH's call the other night and what transpired. Did I mention that here? Well, he is considering asking Shiny to go full-steam ahead and not delay anything. But on the other hand, he isn't really ready. He says it, but then he always adds a "but."

LOL! He asked me not to tell Shiny he was upset about his bill. Well, GEE, OWH! It's a little late to ask me that!! So I talked it over with him and found out the real deal. He was sent an invoice by mistake and there was still money in the retainer. Well, PL-T broke her arm and there were other people helping out, so that's how that happened.

I told him he just needs to go hang out with Shiny sometime and shoot the breeze. He said, "I don't want to get charged for that."

I said, "Are you kidding me? Do you realize how high my bill would be if Shiny charged for shooting the breeze? OMG!! Through the roof and into the stratosphere!! Shiny doesn't charge for that and he doesn't charge for frivolous things. Heck, he didn't even bill you for like 3 or 4 hours of his time the day of the hearing!"

So hopefully I put his mind at ease in that department. I mean, really, he has no CLUE how fortunate he really is that Shiny is standing up for him. Well, he'll figure it out one day.

He also told me he hasn't spoken to Slag since their hearing. He doesn't know if the adulterers are even still together and he doesn't care (so he says.) He said they don't have any friends anymore...he heard that through the grapevine since he's friends with so many people that Slag works with.

He also told me that Slag treats her brothers like crap but she did that before the A. OWH watched a game with them a couple of weeks ago.

He also said if I needed him for trial to consider it done. And the same goes for me in his case. Shiny is going to have such an easy time kicking butt!! That's good, though, considering some of the stuff he has to go through with some of his clients. Yikes!! :MrEEk:

I completely understand now why he told me that I was one of the nicest people he has ever had the pleasure of representing and that it was an honor for him to represent me. He told me that last November at the temp hearing.

Yeah, compared to some of his clients, I am an absolute angel!!! LMAO!!

I have complete trust in him because everything that I have heard and seen over the last 11 months has been consistent. I'm hoping that OWH can feel that way, too, one day.

He's in SUCH good, caring hands. Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow? More like a vein of gold many miles long and thick in the skin of the Earth...that's Shiny, pure and true. I wish everyone here that needs an attorney could have Shiny standing up for them.

Charlotte
Charlotte, if you click on the link, you go to Courtney Jaye's myspace site. There is 'Myspace Music' panel on the right side of the page....the second song is the one.....

My, you have lost your cool
How did I become a fool
Oh well, you're going down
Kicking dirt and wastin' my time
Love like ours, too close to call
Even diamonds have their flaws
Oh well, I'm going down
It's the end of suffering

You lost a diamond
And found a tiger's eye
And when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely, lonely

Just a semiprecious jewel
Clouded judgement overrules
Oh well, I'll never know
A precious jewel I just can't find

You lost a diamond
And found a tiger's eye
And when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely, lonely

A million times I've been by the right one
A....
A million times but the damage is done
And now it's time to leave

You lost a diamond
And found a tiger's eye
And when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely, lonely

And if I see you
You'd better cover your heart
You will get shut out
And left in the dark
And you'll get lonely, lonely




That's the best I can do on a transcription.....She has a neat voice and you really need to see what you can do to hear this.
Tiger's Eye video

You are one lucky woman....I didn't find this when I googled her the other day.

AHA!!! I found a video link AND the lyrics!!!

Tiger's Eye by Courtney Jaye

my, how you have lost your cool
how did I become the fool?
oh well, you're going down,
kicking dirt and wasting my time

love like ours too close to call
even diamonds have their flaws
oh well, I'm going down
it's the end of suffering

you lost a diamond
and found a tiger's eye
and when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely,
lonely

Just a semi-precious jewel
Clouded judgement overruled
Oh well, I'll never know
What precious jewels I just can't find

you lost a diamond
and found a tiger's eye
and when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely,
lonely

A million times passing by the right one
A pause (???) at me (???)
A million times but the damage is done
And now it's time to leave

you lost a diamond
and found a tiger's eye
and when you need her
I hope she walks on by
And leaves you lonely,
lonely

And if I see you
You better cover your heart
You will get shut out and left in the dark
You will be lonely, (lonely)
Lonely (lonely)

Hah, ah la la la la la
Hah, ah la la la la la
Hah, ah la la la la la
Whoa[u][/u]

Okay, got a funny.

I guess Mr. Gray was bored today? What, no SF from Slag? rotflmao

He sent me an email asking about a camera.

He was wondering if I "Ran across it."

I wrote back: "With the car?" rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I just COULDN'T resist!!

Yeah, I gave him a regular answer, too. Probably shouldn't have, huh?

I don't know WHY he decided to send an email. Either he needed a fix; OR he may have been testing to see if I would write him back. He's probably wondering because he knows I probably got the Discovery paperwork by now. Last Saturday when he was here with BIL he may have figured it was too early. Ha ha!! I didn't let on at ALL!!

Well, off to get ready for a wedding photo shoot. DIL is officiating. WOOOOOOOO!!!!

Charlotte
Okay, well, Gray sends another email. What this time?

Asking me about a lens.

So I wrote that I haven't seen it and then some nonsense about renting a robotic camera to send it into the room I believe it's in to look for it. Just messin' wit 'im. Cain't hep it!! LOL!!

Really, though, I feel like writing and asking him WTH he REALLY wants to ask me.

I do wonder what is up though. Slag not keeping him busy enough, or what?

DIL did an absolutely wonderful job officiating her first wedding! I KNEW she would!!

I saw people there that I knew and that surprised me. Wasn't expecting that. Haven't seen them in YEARS!!

A few people asked me about doing photo shoots and what I charge...and one lady asked me about cakes because she was a customer of mine long ago.

Wow! Who'da thunk it?

It was really cool. And it turns out, I used to work with the bride, LOL! She even lived under me in an apartment complex with her former husband...years and years ago! She was a customer, too, as a matter of fact!!

I had forgotten about that until after I left. That's when my brain finally made the connection.

I took some b&w photos and color photos with my 35mm. I also brought the video camera. It was great! Just like old times!!

Can't wait to tell Shiny! He'll be excited about it, too. Really, this is kinda all his fault. That I was inspired to pick up my 35mm again.

I hadn't even been really using the digital. But after I started inventory I did. Then I decided to take pictures of something BESIDES inventory for a change.

And it just snowballed from there.

Yeah, I'm incredibly blessed to have so much support and encouragement from Shiny.

It's been my Mom, DIL and Shiny who have been the ones keeping me going. And a lot of you guys, here, too. I just mean in the physical realm when I say the three of them.

Well, I guess I'd better stop talking now. Otherwise I'll just go on and on. And on. rotflmao

Charlotte
Thank you, cinderooney!!

kiss
rotflmao

Two more emails from Gray while I was asleep!! skeptical

One from around 2am...the other around 10am.
Hmmmmm..... skeptical

The last time I answered him...which was the 2nd email...I mentioned that what he was looking for was probably packed up in November when I packed up painful items and other items that were just in the way.

So...2am...about the camera again.

Then a longer one at 10am--and he mentioned the photo shoot we did before we started dating.

I haven't answered those two yet. I'm mulling over my answers. It WOULD be a good opportunity to ask him if I can have those pictures of me from the photo shoot that he used to have up in his office. I have some of them but not all of them. So I may ask him about that.

Other than that? Well: dontknow

I do feel like giving OWH a call to see if Slag has been trying to contact him.

Gee...after all that trouble you'd think they would be able to keep each other occupied. rotflmao

Charlotte

P.S.) Oh yeah!! And this is a little odd. The telephoto lens he is asking me about? I just used it a few days ago to take some test shots! How did he know? Telepathy?

It's just odd that he's asking me about this camera stuff when I've been getting back into photography again lately. I didn't mention Shiny's photo shoot to him the last time I saw him but I did when he was here before. But that was in August or so. Because he wanted the tripod and I asked him if I could keep it a while because of Shiny's photo shoot.

Hmmmmmmm.......... skeptical

Odd. Very odd.
I now have Gray's email #5!!

Let's see...he says: "It would only take you maybe 15 minutes to look for that camera, but if you are that busy, well...then you are that busy!"

Note: I thought he saw that room the last time he was here...the wall of STUFF is nearly impenetrable. The last time I needed to look for something in there, I had to climb over boxes and this-n-that...it was like mountain climbing for Pete's sake!

I had to be careful not to fall into a crevasse...no one else has a key to my house if I turned up missing!!

So he wants to come out next Saturday and search on his own.

I haven't written him back yet.

Charlotte
So, what do you want from him?

He's trying to engage you on some level. You are scheduled to go to court soon. What do YOU want?

As for what I did when my x asked about things, I told him I would get them to him when I ran across them. Then, I didn't bother to look for them until it suited me. No favors. None. Even if I sort of knew where they might be. I didn't get them out for him until I had to be in that part of the basement and remembered while there.

If you want and can use the camera equipment, would you consider asking him if you could keep it or buy it from him? That would get the exchanges behind you.
Originally Posted by cinderella
So, what do you want from him?

He's trying to engage you on some level. You are scheduled to go to court soon. What do YOU want?

As for what I did when my x asked about things, I told him I would get them to him when I ran across them. Then, I didn't bother to look for them until it suited me. No favors. None. Even if I sort of knew where they might be. I didn't get them out for him until I had to be in that part of the basement and remembered while there.

If you want and can use the camera equipment, would you consider asking him if you could keep it or buy it from him? That would get the exchanges behind you.

Hi cinderella,

Thank you.

Well, at this point I want help from him until I can get my degree. I would of course consider being friends if he could meet all the requirements of the PBL, but as far as romance...I don't think so.

I don't have time for romance anyway. Too much work to do.

Yeah, and he could be attempting to butter me up for that reason. Court. Well, no.

Maybe he finally realized who he is up against. The last time he was here he seemed more lucid than usual and I wondered if he was weaning himself off of drugs.

That would make him think more clearly and he would realize, "OMG!! That Italian is going to mop the floors with me!!"

LOL! Dang STRAIGHT he is! And I'm not going to stop him, either.

Your idea is a good one but I kinda want him to come here. For one thing, he'll take more of his crap and I'll have more room. And less to do for Discovery, LOL!

AND--I want to see just what he will do and say. It's not NICE to fool Mother Nature!!! Or to even TRY to fool her!! LOL!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Neak Re: Doo dahhhhh......doo dahhhhhhhhh....... - 10/06/08 05:12 AM
That does seem a bit excessive, doesn't it? Put it with a court date and he's probably trying to get a litte relief from his self-imposed affliction.

Trying to nail down exactly why a wayward is doing one of the senseless things they're doing is like trying to figure out why one hemorrhoid is bigger than the other one.

Originally Posted by Neak
That does seem a bit excessive, doesn't it? Put it with a court date and he's probably trying to get a litte relief from his self-imposed affliction.

Trying to nail down exactly why a wayward is doing one of the senseless things they're doing is like trying to figure out why one hemorrhoid is bigger than the other one.

Hi Neak,

Thank you.

Yeah, it does. I agree--it could very well just be the looming court date.

And you're right... rotflmao about the hemorrhoids.

rotflmao

rotflmao

rotflmao

I'll file it away and not think about it. We'll see if he keeps it up, LOL!!

I sent him several pictures from the wedding that had DGS in them...and ODS and DIL, too. DGS is SOOOOOOOOO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!

Charlotte
A wayward, typified as an enlarged hemorrhiod.....

yep, I can go with that
Posted By: Tabby1 Re: Doo dahhhhh......doo dahhhhhhhhh....... - 10/06/08 01:14 PM
Love the hemorroid analogy!

BTW, my WstbxH called last week asking about my freezer. He asked if I wasn't using it could he have it for his work??!!! Completely bizarre, I tell you. Waywards and hemorroids - who needs them!
rotflmao




Dancing Lady~~~~~~WHERE ARE YOU!!!!
Yeah Charlotte, where are you. I can usually count on you and Cinder cruising the board with me on weekends.

Oh my gosh, I hope that has nothing to do with having a life...
Or Not.
rotflmao
LOL!! Yeah, I hear that!!

Freaky deaky!!

wink
Originally Posted by cinderella
rotflmao




Dancing Lady~~~~~~WHERE ARE YOU!!!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww........ blush ..............I'm flattered as all get out that you were looking for me!!

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww...........!!!

Charlotte
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Yeah Charlotte, where are you. I can usually count on you and Cinder cruising the board with me on weekends.

Oh my gosh, I hope that has nothing to do with having a life...

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....... blush .......same as above....flattered as all get out!!!

grin

Charlotte
Well, I never heard anything from Gray after the last email. He never said thank you for the photos (no surprise there!)--I guess he couldn't handle the hard questions I asked him...like:

Can I have the pictures of me that you had all over the walls in your office if you haven't thrown them out?

AND...

Are you going to file the 2007 taxes?

He claims that he mailed the other forms late...the ones I signed at Shiny's on May 22? On our 15th anniversary? Before the concert where we ran into OWH?

Yeah--mailed them late. Could mean anything. Like a couple of months ago or even yesterday.

And I tried to look them up at the IRS site--no luck.

So anyhoo...I sent him an email yesterday asking what happened and haven't received a reply as of yet. I don't even care. LOL!!

In other news:

The photo shoot went GREAT!!! I didn't even have to twist Shiny's arm that hard!! LOL!! He was a good boy. LOL!!

I had them developed after I returned home...and...PHEW!! When I went to pick them up and the chick behind the counter pulled them out to show me...I about fell over!!

Then I told him....yeah...I'm selling these to GQ!! Don't worry, you'll get your share and we'll get residuals, too!! WOOOO!!!

They really turned out great!! I did have to do some editing on a couple of them because he had a couple of stray hairs that fell onto his forehead. And darken the background a bit so they'll look good online. But yeah!! They're GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!!! LOL!

And I'm not charging, either. It will make me feel a LITTLE better about my ridiculously low bill from him. All I want is a photo credit. Okay and I'll accept lunch, maybe. And he can come and help me fix my roof. LOL! That's all!!

grin

I am starting the 2nd semester at the school tomorrow. And we are going to do some actual cooking!! WOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! The hardest part will be to go in with a blank slate--erase everything I already know so I can learn their way. This class is going to deal with the basics: slicing and dicing, circumcizing.....sauces and gravies and glazes....OH MY!!! wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Foh dee oh doh doh, Laverne.... - 10/18/08 06:50 AM
School was mighty interesting this week. We were in the lab/kitchen for the first time. We went over our course syllabus for the 11 week semester. It included the menu for each week.

Yeah, Shiny's gonna be one happy camper in a few weeks!! hurray And then he'll be eating healthy at least some of the time and not eating out all the time. Though he does try to keep it healthy, that's just not an easy thing when you are eating out.

I had a class on Thursday night and the Chef that teaches it is hilarious. It is all about concepts and techniques in cooking. It's not a lab class, though.

She had a different way of having us introduce ourselves. She said, "Okay, you are a bag of food. Please tell me what is in your bag. And make me have an ***asm!!!"

HilARious!! rotflmao

But she's right! Food can! Just about. Man, it's SO great to be around so many food lovers!! Where the h*ll have I been? LOL!! (Okay, yeah, my family loves food, but you know what I mean.)

Ooh!! There were actually a couple of cute guys in class, too! I can look now, if I want to. I never used to before when I was with Gray.

Yeah, one guy was dark hair and dark eyes and wore a fedora. LOL! Another was kind of a reddish guy and he had a ponytail. He has Lithuanian heritage.

It was a fun class. Lots of us in there, too!

That was Thursday...of course there was a bit of excitement before class because I had this thing I had to give Shiny and I showed it to T and Baby Attorney before I gave it to Shiny.

Then Baby Attorney gets all wild and flirts with me. LOLOLOLOL!!

faint

Yeah, it was pretty funny!! And Shiny liked his thing. I made him a magazine cover because of all the teasing about his picture and the GQ cover. But it was a faux Time magazine, "Man of the Year,"--(LMAO!!)--instead of GQ because the template looked better.

He goes, "I wanna be "Man of the Century!!!" faint

rotflmao

Such a character!!

Gray doesn't stand a CHANCE!! Gray has NO IDEA that he is "graymeat!" After 3 times in court already, you would think he would know better than to mess with Shiny. But NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Yeah, and whenever, IF ever, I decide to date again, all of my dates have to be Shiny approved. All I have to do is put them in about 10 minutes with Shiny and he will have the answer for me. He's really good at reading people. Better than most anyone I know or have known. Some of it comes with the territory, sure. But a lot of it is just natural.

So Gray can spout on and on about making it easier when we go to court...that is just so ludicrous!! LOL!! I need to put a copy of that post here for posterity!!

rotflmao

He is SO gonna miss out!! When I open my restaurant, not only am I going to be the chef, but also the entertainment!! Belly dancing!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

dance2

Charlotte hurray hurray hurray




Posted By: lildoggie Re: Foh dee oh doh doh, Laverne.... - 10/18/08 06:57 AM
Originally Posted by dancing queen
Gray has NO IDEA that he is "graymeat!"

OMG!
I love it!!!!!!!!!
Greymeat rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 11/04/08 07:37 PM
Here's the new news:

We have mediation scheduled for December 11th at Shiny's office. YAY!! Home team advantage!!! hurray

I'm surprised they agreed to Shiny's usual mediator but they did. He charges $200 per side for 4 hours, so that's pretty good.

Also, I should know by 5pm what date we are going back to court to see if the judge will extend spousal support one more time. It runs out this month. PL-T is working on that right now.

I had to send her the dates Gray was here for inventory. Easy, Weezy!! I just checked the email archives for Shiny reports and also here since I blared it all over for the world to know! LOL! wink

OWH is due for a hearing on his support soon. He had an encounter with "THEM!" (no, not the giant ants!) the other night. You would think in a place as big as Houston these things wouldn't happen but dang if it didn't!!

Hmmm.....coincidence? I think not!!

He was pretty upset about it so we talked a while. Then he called me back later. He said he felt better. I sure hope so!!

Well, gotta get ready for class.

Have a great day, All!

Charlotte
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 11/04/08 08:44 PM
Quote
He charges $200 per side for 4 hours, so that's pretty good.

That is VERY good compared to Dallas rates!

Is Shiny married? whistle
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 11/05/08 02:29 AM
I've been wondering what was up and how you are.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/06/08 05:47 AM
Hey! Thanks for checkin' in on me, y'all!

Just a quickie...'cause I have a TON of homework!!!!!!!! LOL! At MY age, imagine that! A lil' ol' lady with homework!!

Anyway--the hearing for the motion to extend spousal support is November 19. Two days shy of a year since the temp hearing!! Wow! Sure doesn't feel like it!!

Gray also got a reminder to deposit November 1st's spousal support check, since he hasn't done so yet. I need to go check and see if he has since the fax went over to Palpitine's this a.m. No time all day to check...HOMEWORK!! TONS of homework!!!

TTFN!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/12/08 08:37 PM
Well, we dodged a bullet. Shiny filed a Rule 11 because Palpitine called and said Gray agreed to continue support through December. This call came in last week.

Okay, that's good...but there's this leetle problem...

Gray still hasn't put the support check in that was due on the 1st. I told Shiny that I broke the camel's back and that's why he hasn't put it in.

Why? Because I am friends with his MORTAL ENEMY!!! The EX!! The FIRST ex, that is!! LOL!!

I talked to OWH--Slag hasn't sent his check either.

Hmmmmm....conspiracy maybe?

Maybe they blew all of their dough on another trip to Vegas? Which crossed my mind and then Shiny brought THAT up so I said, "Everybody gets to go to Vegas but me!! No fair!!!" LOL!!

It doesn't bother me but OWH is still pretty livid about it. He's also still livid about the run-in he had with "THEM!!" on the night of the Cheech & Chong reunion.

So that's where we are now. No hearing on the 19th but if this keeps up someone's butt is going to end up dragged into court on a contempt charge!!

to be continued.....




wink
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 04:44 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
So that's where we are now. No hearing on the 19th but if this keeps up someone's butt is going to end up dragged into court on a contempt charge!!

I can hear the scraping sounds already!

:MrEEk:
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 05:01 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
So that's where we are now. No hearing on the 19th but if this keeps up someone's butt is going to end up dragged into court on a contempt charge!!

I can hear the scraping sounds already!

:MrEEk:

rotflmao

I WISH!!!!!

Not long after I posted, Shiny got a fax from the Dark Side:

"Mr. Gray is aware that he didn't deposit the support money on November 1st. He will double the amount on November 14th."

DAMN! rant2

It would have been well worth the money to see that brawl!! And I wouldn't have minded paying Shiny to do it. He deserves it. I wish I could pay him more now.

Oh well--still plenty of time for everyone to get tickets for the next event, LOL!! wink

I talked to OWH tonight for nearly an hour. I invited him over for Thanksgiving, too. Now I just need to invite Shiny. I already invited everyone else in the office, it would be rude if I didn't invite him, too. Might hurt his feelings. So I'll invite him. Whether any of them show up is anyone's guess. LOL!! That would be funny, though, wouldn't it?

Yeah, just wait until my 5-star restaurant is open. They'll all be begging to get on the guest list!! Heh heh hehhhhhhhh......!!

hurray

Okay, back to homework!!

faint
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 05:09 AM
I bet judges don't give the same kind of anesthesia as gastroenterologists do - even when they do the same excavation work.



rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 06:01 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I bet judges don't give the same kind of anesthesia as gastroenterologists do - even when they do the same excavation work.



rotflmao

rotflmao

And this judge is a no-nonsense dude, too!

And here's a really funny thing...

Our judge has seen Shiny on at least two occasions--here where you think they would not run into each other because Shiny RARELY comes to our county for cases--the last case he had here was 16 years ago now. And our judge wasn't around here then.

But since we have been in and out of court--at our last hearing...the judge mentioned that he'd seen Shiny coming out of a restaurant in Houston with Baby Attorney and his GF-Shiny had taken them out to eat. I remember that day because I was there at the office before they left--waiting for the rain to stop coming down in buckets so I could leave and go to class.

So the judge was in town for his son's volleyball game somewhere and went to the restaurant that Shiny was just leaving.

Then when Shiny had that seminar in August in San Antonio--who do you think he saw? The judge!! LOL!!

Funny too--I had a dream that Shiny was GIVING a seminar not long before I heard he was going to the one in San Antone.

Yeah, weird, freaky stuff...or is it? LOL!!

I'm just sitting back and watching these "alleged" coincidences. It's been VERY interesting, to say the least!

I REALLY need to get going on that book, that's for sure!! Okay, now I've done jabbered away for 9 (?) paragraphs. Or so.

Back to homework, damn you! Yes! I'm going!! Got to keep those straight A's coming!! I have a reputation to uphold!! LOL!!

Yeah, now I'm talking to myself. MEDIC!!!

rotflmao

Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 02:33 PM
I sure am glad you can spell.....I would have wondered about you if you'd mispelled some of those last few words!!!!!


rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 06:16 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I sure am glad you can spell.....I would have wondered about you if you'd mispelled some of those last few words!!!!!


rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao

Good one!

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 06:23 PM
KWIM? rotflmao Couldn't resist. rotflmao

Can't check my personal e-mail from work. Perhaps I will have a reply to send you tonight.
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 07:36 PM
Ok I'm dying to know if this means what I think it means. Are y'all being a bit naughty??? wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 07:56 PM
Yeah. wink

Okay, sounds good! I'll look for it when I get home from class.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 07:57 PM
Originally Posted by jayne241
Ok I'm dying to know if this means what I think it means. Are y'all being a bit naughty??? wink

flirt

Who? Us? Naughty?

Never heard of such an animal!!

wink
Posted By: jayne241 Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 08:03 PM
Youse guys.....!!!!! grin
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/13/08 09:41 PM
I went off on a rant and shared it with Charlotte who agreed with me. So, I sent someone an email about the matter. I was just wondering about the response.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 03:03 AM
Well I guess it's time for an update.

Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of the first temp hearing. OWH called me around 8am. He was on the way to Shiny's to sign an affidavit.

He got all worried because he thought he woke me up--well, I was supposed to be up anyway. I was just lying there wishing for more sleep time. So after he called I fell asleep again (shame on me!) and had a dream I was driving Shiny's car to court with Shiny and T. We crossed one of those bridges--the name escapes me at the moment--the ones that open up to let boats through. It had just closed and T climbed in the back seat.

I commented on her climbing into the back seat and proceeded through the intersection. Then I woke up. Dang!! It was Shiny's car in the dream but it wasn't--none of his vehicles have room for 3 people in the front seat. I don't know the significance of that part, or of the whole dream, really!

So later that evening I called OWH and he kept me on the phone for 4 hours!! LOL!! We talked about a lot of different things and of course "they" came up a lot.

We talked about the gun in Dallas and I'm glad I finally remembered to ask him about it. He said it sounded hinky to him. Yeah, me too!!

He said that if anyone should be worried it should be ME, as far as any violence goes. Yeah, he's right. I'm not THAT worried about it but it does cross my mind from time to time. I think if they were going to do anything they'd take all of us out--Shiny included, and he's already nearly been shot before. Well, I have, too, but he would have had a better chance of surviving his gunshot, through a door with a shotgun; than I would have--shotgun aimed at my head. No, that incident was not Gray related.

Gray always used to comment on: "if someone is going to kill someone, might as well make it good since you are going to jail for life anyway, or getting the death penalty."

What? Me worried? No. But I never did get a decent answer to the gun in Dallas question. I asked him about it again 2 more times after that, too.

I guess there's a chance they could get desperate--Slag's a gun nut and so is her family, but I'm a natural when it comes to hitting targets. I just don't own a pistol anymore.

Gunfight at the O.K. Corral!! Ha ha!!

I think that Gray will break down and settle at mediation but if he doesn't he's REALLY in for it!!

I'll just say: "Shiny, take him out!! Take him DOWN!! DO YOUR STUFF!"

Part of me kinda wants to go to trial, I can't help it!! OWH thinks he's probably going to end up there. Well, I'm READY!! Brian it OAN!!! I'll be his Star Witness, Baby!! flirt

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 04:00 AM
Oh, I can't help it!! LOL!! I just thought of the actor who this guy in class reminds me of: Paul Walker!! LMAO!!

I could be SO BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDD!! This guy is always so sweet and nice (and flirty)--even when perusing raw chicken to decide which bird looks best! LOL!!

There are some other guys in class that talk to me a lot. One of them likes to bump into me "accidentally," and he'd better watch so he doesn't accidentally bump into my Chef's knife! LOL! And there's this older guy that has made it clear that he would like to get to know me better...LOL!! WOOOOO!!!

But I'm not interested in all of that. It's just funny how things are when you aren't looking for them!! If I was LOOKING for someone to date the landscape would be bare!!

I'll just take it as a compliment that Charlotte still has "IT"--even Gray couldn't take away Charlotte's "IT!!" Ha ha!!

I'm sure not interested in a Demi Moore/Ashton Kutcher thing, even though it would almost be worth it. I DID think about going the "young stud" route for revenge at one point but nixed the idea because I didn't want to be like "them."

But nah. Besides, out of all of them I would most likely pick the older guy--maybe it's my age, I don't know. He's sexier, for one thing. More well-seasoned.... rotflmao

Maybe it's quality vs. quantity? rotflmao

I don't know, I'm just goofy tonight. Or maybe it's just because OWH and I talked about sex last night. Who knows? Shiny will have my HEAD if I don't behave, though!! I'm behaving! I'm behaving!!

But I can gloat a little, dammit! Gray tried to grind me down to a cinder under his shoe!! Self-esteem was in the negative zone and falling! So yeah, I think it's okay to gloat a little!

Charlotte
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 04:10 AM
Charlotte...

you crack me up laugh
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 06:23 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
Charlotte...

you crack me up laugh

Awwwwww......thanks lil!!

Let me see, speculating here...

Young stud vs. older stud...

Hmmmm........

I guess a young stud probably has more stamina and all--ready for the racetrack at the drop of a pin.

Older studs, well...they take their time and enjoy the ride. Yeah, that's it!

Well, the older stud that I'm talking about is SOOOOOO SEXY!! Yeah, okay, he rings my bell. Which is why I have to stay as far away as I can!!

I never expected this. I could never have imagined being attracted to another man. But now, since for all intents and purposes my marriage has been over for a year and 5 months--I can't help but notice the opposite sex!!

But I'm behaving!! I'm still legally married so any shenanigans are OUT! I don't think I'll make it until two years after the divorce is final. I'm not looking, though. School keeps me REALLY busy! No time for spontaneous groping in the backs of cars, either! LOL!

This is something else OWH and I discussed last night. Dating and how long we think Gray and Slag will make it. They will likely stay together for at least a little while after the D's are done.

OWH figures that she'll get tired of having to nurse Gray, though. He said she didn't take care of him when he was sick--she lasted a week, maybe, then said she had to go back to work. His family took over caring for him while he needed it.

OWH is really disgusted with Slag. She is now "damaged goods" in his eyes. I know guys have a hard time with someone else "doing" their women. From reading stories here it seems that guys have a harder time with it than women. I guess it depends on the individual, though.

Charlotte

Posted By: lildoggie Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 06:49 AM
O.M.G!!!!!!


rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

You on some thing girl?? Or just wanting something (some one) to be on you wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 07:59 AM
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

whistle

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/23/08 04:00 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
She is now "damaged goods" in his eyes. I know guys have a hard time with someone else "doing" their women. From reading stories here it seems that guys have a harder time with it than women. I guess it depends on the individual, though.

Funny, they ALWAYS seem to affair with the women who have been D'd multiple times, had a string of BF's etc.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/24/08 05:15 PM
Charlotte, you are one crazy woman...that's a compliment.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/25/08 06:12 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Charlotte, you are one crazy woman...that's a compliment.

grin

Why, thank yuh....thank yuh verra much!!!

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/27/08 08:45 AM
I sent Gray's XW a text because I texted her last night about the gun in Dallas and wasn't able to answer her when I got out of class because it was so late.

We talked a bit and she told me that ODS said his dad has been in and out of hospitals for months now. Hmmm....I guess he has managed to destroy his body with the drugs.

Funny thing: when I came home from my grandma's after that and checked the mail there was a letter from a hospital in the same town his company is in. From what I can read through the paper on the envelope, (LOL!)--it looks like it's a patient survey of some sort.

I guess it can wait two weeks until the mediation. No sense in giving it to Shiny and making more unnecessary work having him mail it to Gray.

I sent OWH a text earlier just for grins. I can't say what it was, though, it's probably too explicit for here. His response had me rolling in the aisles, though!!

rotflmao

It was actually the translation of a Czech greeting--I was going to send it in Czech at first and then figured I'd better go the English route!! LOL!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Charlotte

:happythanksgiving:

:gobblegobble:
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/27/08 08:07 PM
uhuh Having fun and not sharing is forbidden. uhuh
Posted By: Miss M Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/28/08 01:06 AM
Dancin

You cooking today? But of COURSE!!

Speaking of courses, I am a fellow student, 20 credits this quarter, and will hopefully have the grand title of Catering Director at the College I am at in the Culinary Arts Dept. flirt

Anyhoo, how much homework do YOU have over Thanksgiving? I am swamped. :crosseyedcrazy: And I have to work a catering event Saturday!!

Gearing up for all the catering over the holidays.

So thankful for the well paid work study gig.

I have been in food service for many years, passionate about cooking, and have had the good fortune of being around some fabulous chefs.

My experience is more front of the house and facilitating, planning, etc.

Best of luck!!! You are awesome. grin

Gotta go make GRAVY dance2

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/28/08 01:29 AM
Originally Posted by Miss M
Dancin

You cooking today? But of COURSE!!

Speaking of courses, I am a fellow student, 20 credits this quarter, and will hopefully have the grand title of Catering Director at the College I am at in the Culinary Arts Dept. flirt

Anyhoo, how much homework do YOU have over Thanksgiving? I am swamped. :crosseyedcrazy: And I have to work a catering event Saturday!!

Gearing up for all the catering over the holidays.

So thankful for the well paid work study gig.

I have been in food service for many years, passionate about cooking, and have had the good fortune of being around some fabulous chefs.

My experience is more front of the house and facilitating, planning, etc.

Best of luck!!! You are awesome. grin

Gotta go make GRAVY dance2

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Heyyyyyyyyy, Miss M!! Great to hear from you!! I was just reading about you and homework on another thread and wondering where you were going to school!

That is WAY COOL!! Are you attending AI as well?

Yes, I had a fabulous time cooking! I made a lot of stock before hand so we'd have enough and I made fresh cream of mushroom soup this year for the traditional casseroles.

Homework? faint

YES! Five assignments due for Nutrition class by Monday--weekly journal for Fundamentals and a bunch of extra stuff for Concepts class since we didn't have a class this week.

Catering, eh? I was just thinking about that last night or so. I have the internship a few quarters from now and I was thinking about aiming for catering instead of working at one of the big hotels as pastry chef.

We'll see what happens! In the meantime, gotta keep up on those all A's!! grin

Are you taking classes online as well? It's great for some stuff. A LOT of work, though!!

Take care & have a great holiday!!

Charlotte

:gobblegobble:
Posted By: Miss M Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 11/28/08 03:30 AM
No classes online

5 days a week, 4 hours a day, plus plus plus. You know the drill.

I have 3 chapters to read for Marketing, 6 assignments for Computer Science, Accounting rehash dontknow and paperwork for Leadership and I have to work a Christmas Boutique gig at the college as part of my work study. faint They pay me pretty good for that. (Business Management, focus on Food Service, have been in food service management for years, just want the paper ma'am).

No AI. We have a culinary arts program (like AI) entwined with the Viticulture/Enology program. The wine industry is HUGE where I am, and of course, food follows the wine. LOL!

The food turned out great, but no time to make my own stock.The drippings were awesome tho!! Love that GRAVY!! GRAAAAAVVVVVEEEEEE!!
You are gonna be a awesome chef!!!
:gobblegobble: :pumkin:

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Hmmm......let me see....... - 12/06/08 03:35 AM
...5 days 'til Mediation!!

OWH wants to come watch, LOL!!

(I had a good warrior name for him and I forgot it, dagnabbit!)

He called me the other night to remind me about some important info I needed to pass on to Shiny.

He also told me that there was a Christmas party that night.

I said, "Well...let's go crash it!!"

We thought about it. But...we don't want to make more work for Shiny!

OWH called with an update around 11:30 last night. Apparently the adulterers were ostracized at the party and kept in a corner to themselves.

No surprise, eh?

OWH had a GREAT suggestion to get that insurance check signed:

Go into the conference room, slam it down on the table and say, "Sign this f-cking thing!!"

Yeah, you bet your booty he would sign it if Shiny did that! WOOOO!! But of course we can't do that. sigh Oh well, it was a fun thought!

Really, though, Shiny IS planning on getting him to sign it, though. I don't know how yet. That will be great because it would be SO NICE to get the roof fixed so the walls don't weep when it rains and to get that meter box reattached so it doesn't get knocked off in a strong wind!

I have a field trip tomorrow with those wild kids!!

Gotta watch out for the guy with the fedora. He was giving me the eye last night but I ignored him. LOL!!

He is REALLY CUTE, though! He's even cute in his chef whites! Yikes!

But nope. Not goin' there! Behaving and that is that!

I was talking to OWH about what that other guy did. Finding out a LOT of good guy secrets. LOL!!

It's just SO funny...I was talking about this with OWH...how they tried to make me look nuts and everything and look at us now!! LOL!!

One night I'm going to go hang out with OWH and the gang. I told him that he's one of my "safe" men. He moans that he doesn't want to be in a "lame" category!!

I said, "That is NOT lame!! Besides, you are safe and have NO ulterior motives THAT I KNOW OF!!" LOL!!

So he felt a little better after that!

Anyway, TTFN!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/06/08 03:45 AM
Thank you, Miss M!!

It sure is fun!! So far! I might be singing a different tune in January when I start my stacked lab days!! WOO! 10 hours of lab with about a 45 minute break in between!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/08/08 07:41 AM
In the middle of massive homework, I just had to pop in and say:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mediation in 3 days!!! 3 days? 3 DAYS!! :MrEEk:

But hey...I'm cool. cool

Nope. Not worried a'tall!

I started prepping my wardrobe last night, LOL!

rotflmao

flirt Found my garter belt that matches my stockings...couldn't decide on the black skirt suit with "Scully" jacket or the red skirt suit but today I decided that I'm going to wear the black. The red is reserved for the final hearing, as per Gray's XW. She hasn't steered me wrong yet!! hug Oh yes, and black pumps with 5 1/2 inch heels!! Va-va-voom!!! flirt

I am actually planning on NOT seeing Gray...as in getting there ahead of time and being safely ensconced in Shiny's office when "THEY" arrive...but you just never know!! He might end up having a visual if I need to go to the restroom through PL-L's door & walk down the hallway to the restroom, there's a window next to the door in Shiny's conference room & you can see just fine when people walk by!! It's a full-length window!! wink

Heh, heh, hehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! whistle

So yeah, 3 days. And all I have to worry about is my wardrobe. sigh I am SO spoiled!!

rotflmao

Charlotte
Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/08/08 07:47 AM
Wow Charlotte,

You are doing awesome. You sound so strong.

Good luck in the mediation. Have you always been this strong and positive in life?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/08/08 08:48 AM
Originally Posted by QueeniesNewLife
Wow Charlotte,

You are doing awesome. You sound so strong.

Good luck in the mediation. Have you always been this strong and positive in life?

Thank you, Queenie!! hug

Right up until my thyroid went South and I was depressed and then caught up in the maelstrom of Gray's A!!

But I've always been an optimist, so maybe that helped matters!! I have Mom to thank for that!

Lately, though, I've been having to rag on her about being too negative sometimes. Hmmm...it seemed to escalate when she started watching more tv, I'm going to have to bring that up the next time I talk to her! wink

Thanks again, Queenie, and here's hoping for a resolution at Mediation but if not; there's going to be one heck of a show at trial! wink

And I'll be giving away free tickets to the first 100 callers!! wink

Well, not really, but I really AM considering mailing off invitations!

rotflmao

Wouldn't that be hilarious!! LMAO!!

I'm confident that Shiny will get Gray to sign that insurance check, too. I don't know how he is going to do it but I'm sure he won't break any fingers! (Awwww c'mon.....just a pinky!! Gray won't miss it, Shiny!!) wink

Charlotte

P.S.) I am curious as to who will be Gray's chauffeur. Will it be BIL or will it be Slag? Hmmm...that's the $1,000,000 question! I don't see Palpitine doing it but I could be wrong. It would be a LOT of extra driving for Palpitine, though.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 08:51 AM
Hee hee!

Homework from all angles tonight. Just finished school homework, now I have to finish OWH homework! AND Shiny homework!

OWH is worried about the real estate thing with my case. He doesn't want Gray to over-inflate things and get away with it so he ordered me to make a list of repairs tonight and he'll go over it with me tomorrow...maybe even have his bro' chime in.

Sounds good to me!

Then I have a couple of other items to take care of for Shiny for Thursday...PLUS I have to go there tomorrow...well, today, actually...and help PL-L with my case. I am SO LUCKY that I have an attorney who does this and saves me tons of money!! hurray

I WAS planning on doing a few "female" things like a facial...maybe a bath, etc. Well, might not have time now! PL-L thinks she might be there until late tomorrow night to finish things so I'm going to help as much as I can!!

So why am I here jabbering? Ahhhh....why not? wink

Just a quick break, LOL!

I was telling Shiny about those people in my class giving me the business again on Monday night. Bad night to do it, too. I had started cramping and I wasn't feeling all that great to begin with. Well, they did it to me AGAIN!!

rant2

But I didn't yell. I just got a little fiesty. They don't LISTEN to Chef, doggone it!! Then they try to argue with me about it when I have everything he said written down!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rant2

Anyway, I was telling Shiny about it and he says, "Young whippersnappers!!!"

rotflmao

Hilarious because it's just what I was thinking! LOL!

Hey, Man!! I'm not going to take crap from them anymore just because I'm shorter and a teeny bit older!! LOL!!!

Well, I bes' get oan wit dat ting fo' OWH!!

Yeah, this is gonna be CHEZ interesting Thursday!!!

OWH is wondering the same thing I am. Will Slag be the one who drives Gray to Shiny's?

He wants to be there. I told him...well, COME ON then!!

He can sit in there with PL-L and shoot the breeze!! LOL!

Man, I don't know HOW I'm going to thank everyone for being so kind!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 02:03 PM
You will cook for us. :RollieEyes: Because we love you so much.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 03:13 PM
Shouldn't we cook for HER, b/c we love her so much?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 04:36 PM
OK. I'll bring the Lemon Coolers - very easy, delicious cookies. They ALWAYS get rave reviews!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 04:49 PM
rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 04:50 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Shouldn't we cook for HER, b/c we love her so much?

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!! blush

hug
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 04:51 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
OK. I'll bring the Lemon Coolers - very easy, delicious cookies. They ALWAYS get rave reviews!

Oh, you're coming to the Mediation as well? SWEEEEEET!!

Party at Shiny's!!! wink

rotflmao

He would like that, he LOVES people!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 05:04 PM
Just let me know when I can pick up my e-ticket.

Can't you see it now....this large buffet, all these people mixing and mingling, and gray can't have any food because he wasn't invited to come and support Charlotte. Offer him morsels only if he gives you what you want.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 05:10 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Just let me know when I can pick up my e-ticket.

Can't you see it now....this large buffet, all these people mixing and mingling, and gray can't have any food because he wasn't invited to come and support Charlotte. Offer him morsels only if he gives you what you want.

rotflmao

Awwwww.....that would be so FUN!!!

I don't know about morsels, though. That sounds too tasty. How about leftover chicken bones?

wink
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 05:27 PM
Only pig's feet and pickled eggs for Gray.

That way his breath will match his attitude.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 05:29 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Only pig's feet and pickled eggs for Gray.

That way his breath will match his attitude.

rotflmao

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grin

:happyholidays:
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 05:52 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Only pig's feet and pickled eggs for Gray.

That way his breath will match his attitude.

rotflmao

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grin

And exlax brownies because he's so full of himself.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:03 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Only pig's feet and pickled eggs for Gray.

That way his breath will match his attitude.

rotflmao

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grin

And exlax brownies because he's so full of himself.

Now THAT would be something to see...especially since he already has problems with IBS!!

Did I tell this story before?:

One day, Gray came home from work. He went straight to the bathroom. Unfortunately, he left the door open and the odor began to permeate the house. I asked him to please close the door.

The next day, I viewed the conversations he had been having with Slag that night. He told her that I was complaining about the smell of her perfume!!!!

rotflmao

OMG!!! UGH!!! I'm glad I don't wear that particular scent!!

rotflmao

Eau de excrement!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:04 PM
Honey, I don't think that even a lit stick of dynamite would loosen him up.

He's so bound up, he couldn't pass a bb without strainin'.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:17 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Honey, I don't think that even a lit stick of dynamite would loosen him up.

He's so bound up, he couldn't pass a bb without strainin'.

Ok, we'll use a some Tri-lyte as the base for some soup for him....that's the stuff the gastroenterologist had me consume before my recent appt. We'll see if we can make it concentrated. In the soup. We'll put it in a special tureen and everyone else will stay away from it. And we'll let him take the leftovers home with him. So he can share them with slag.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:19 PM
We are some twisted little puppies.

Twisted = fun!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:20 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Honey, I don't think that even a lit stick of dynamite would loosen him up.

He's so bound up, he couldn't pass a bb without strainin'.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!!! That is HILARIOUS!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:22 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Honey, I don't think that even a lit stick of dynamite would loosen him up.

He's so bound up, he couldn't pass a bb without strainin'.

Ok, we'll use a some Tri-lyte as the base for some soup for him....that's the stuff the gastroenterologist had me consume before my recent appt. We'll see if we can make it concentrated. In the soup. We'll put it in a special tureen and everyone else will stay away from it. And we'll let him take the leftovers home with him. So he can share them with slag.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:26 PM
Try-lyte soup

Exlax brownies

Milk of Magnesia for creamer in his coffee or in his hot chocolate

Per Diem sprinkles on various chocolate (exlax desserts)

Lots of very hot, spicy things that will cause 'afterburner' syndrome

Some bran muffins
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:31 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Try-lyte soup

Exlax brownies

Milk of Magnesia for creamer in his coffee or in his hot chocolate

Per Diem sprinkles on various chocolate (exlax desserts)

Lots of very hot, spicy things that will cause 'afterburner' syndrome

Some bran muffins

Now THAT sounds like a plan, Stan!!

And with that...I better get my happy butt in the shower so I can go to work at Shiny's!! PLENTY to do...and gotta call OWH, too!
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 06:38 PM
Prune Whip - for dessert.

Just skimmed through the latest Charlotte -

Vicarious enjoyment - of a woman who turned the tables and is a winner!
Posted By: not2fun Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 08:07 PM
OHHHHHHH my girls....are we behavin' today???.....NOT....

Ok Char, count me in.....what time should I be there tomorrow??? I'll bring chicken roll-ups and my famous pumkin rolls.....Not food for Gray though, I only cook for those I like.... wink

Gosh, Char you make this sound like such fun, I think all BS'S should D....of course, only if they can have Shiny..... grin

Well, I have to say, I look forward to your post tomorrow.....but then again, I usually do.....

Strike 'em dead girlfriend..... rotflmao

not2fun
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 08:33 PM
TJ --

Quote
famous pumkin rolls

Still waitin' fer the recipe, dearling.

I keep pumpkin on hand all year...d'ya know how GOOD for you it is?

Even Cinder's gotta know that it's not just fer ridin' around in anymore!
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/10/08 08:44 PM
I have a bad premonition about Grey - I think the stress is ruining his health and he's about to get a rude, sudden, serious wake up call from the BIG MAN upstairs ...

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Okay.....I have a report.... - 12/11/08 04:25 AM
I got to see the rest of the response from Gray today. Now I see why Shiny didn't let me see this right away.

He thought it was going to upset me like those accusations upset me last November and I cried in his office. Yeah, I cried. I didn't cry there when I filed or any other time. But I cried that day!

Yeah, you wouldn't believe some of the BS-crapola that he came up with about me. Well, knowing WS's, you probably WOULD believe it.

So yeah, now that I have digested it I see it for what it is. It was obviously designed to try and make me upset.

Well, 'tain't goinna woik!!!

I am above that petty crap.

I think it says a lot that MY responses mention the abuse after he started his A until October 30th and nothing else. Well, except the wasting money thing.

HIS? OMG!!

If I was the screeching harpy he claims I am I would have been on the phone screeching right then! LOL!

I would have made Shiny's job 1000x harder in one phone call!

But NOPE!!

All I gotta say is: Bring it OAN, Cletus!!! BRING IT OAN!!!!

Charlotte a.k.a. "Spock"

rotflmao


:MerryChristmas:

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:27 AM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
I have a bad premonition about Grey - I think the stress is ruining his health and he's about to get a rude, sudden, serious wake up call from the BIG MAN upstairs ...

I believe your premonition is SPOT ON, Pep!!

He'd better start doing this: pray !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And SOON!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:29 AM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Prune Whip - for dessert.

Just skimmed through the latest Charlotte -

Vicarious enjoyment - of a woman who turned the tables and is a winner!

Awwwww...thanks Bellevue!!

LOL! "Prune Whip!!!!"

rotflmao

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:33 AM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Even Cinder's gotta know that it's not just fer ridin' around in anymore!

PUMPKIN PANCAKES

* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 3 tablespoons brown sugar
* 2 teaspoons baking powder
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 teaspoon ground allspice
* 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
* 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 1/2 cups milk
* 1 cup pumpkin puree
* 1 egg
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 2 tablespoons vinegar

* add to recipe box Add to Recipe Box
My folders:
* add to shopping list Add to Shopping List
* add a personal note Add a Personal Note

DIRECTIONS

1. In a separate bowl, mix together the milk, pumpkin, egg, oil and vinegar. Combine the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, allspice, cinnamon, ginger and salt, stir into the pumpkin mixture just enough to combine.
2. Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.



CINNAMON CREAM SYRUP


* 5 tablespoons butter
* 1 cup heavy cream
* 3 tablespoons brown sugar
* 1/2 teaspoon maple flavored extract
* 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

* add to recipe box Add to Recipe Box
My folders:
* add to shopping list Add to Shopping List
* add a personal note Add a Personal Note

DIRECTIONS

In a small saucepan, melt butter over medium heat. Stir in cream, brown sugar, maple extract and cinnamon. Cook, whisking constantly, until sugar dissolves and mixture thickens slightly, about 3 to 4 minutes. Serve warm.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:35 AM
btw, I have a Prune Cake recipe that's really good and moist. With only a cup of prunes spread throughout a bundt cake, you don't get any 'action'.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:35 AM
Originally Posted by not2fun
OHHHHHHH my girls....are we behavin' today???.....NOT....

Ok Char, count me in.....what time should I be there tomorrow??? I'll bring chicken roll-ups and my famous pumkin rolls.....Not food for Gray though, I only cook for those I like.... wink

Gosh, Char you make this sound like such fun, I think all BS'S should D....of course, only if they can have Shiny..... grin

Well, I have to say, I look forward to your post tomorrow.....but then again, I usually do.....

Strike 'em dead girlfriend..... rotflmao

not2fun

Heck yeah! Come oan eeyun!!

2-ish oughtta woik!

LOL!! Yeah, EVERYBODY who has to D should have Shiny!! I wish everyone could, too. Well, let me amend that to BS's ONLY!! Not them sorry ol' adulterin' folks!!

Aw, shucks!! blush

Yeah, I REALLY need to get started on that novel!! wink

And thank you, Shiny will strike 'em dead!! If he doesn't sign that dang insurance check so I can fix the roof and the meter box!! wink

But I will strike 'em dead, too!

Let's see....how does it go again? "If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine...."

YEAH!! That's what I'M screamin'!!!!

He sure TRIED striking ME down...look what he got!! Heh heh hehhhhhhhhh!!!!

wink

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 04:38 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
btw, I have a Prune Cake recipe that's really good and moist. With only a cup of prunes spread throughout a bundt cake, you don't get any 'action'.

Hmmmmmmmm.......I think we need to modify that recipe a bit!!

wink

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 05:21 AM
For our consumption, the recipe is fine.

For gray's consumption, it really needs to be revved up a LOT
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Ding dong! -ss--le calling!! - 12/11/08 06:52 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
For our consumption, the recipe is fine.

For gray's consumption, it really needs to be revved up a LOT

rotflmao
Posted By: Zelmo Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 07:03 AM
Originally Posted by BestAdvisor1
Charlotte, do you really want him back? He cheated on you constantly, lied to you again and again, and you're actually scared of your life because of him. Can you ever trust him again? Where do you see this "relationship" or "marriage" going?

Looks like BA made the call,early. Too bad some folks got so insulting toward her.
Dancing, you are doing the right thin here. Your Wh is messed up, big time. Strength to you.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 07:58 AM
Originally Posted by Zelmo
Originally Posted by BestAdvisor1
Charlotte, do you really want him back? He cheated on you constantly, lied to you again and again, and you're actually scared of your life because of him. Can you ever trust him again? Where do you see this "relationship" or "marriage" going?

Looks like BA made the call,early. Too bad some folks got so insulting toward her.
Dancing, you are doing the right thin here. Your Wh is messed up, big time. Strength to you.

Thank you, Zelmo. Apparently I am.

Just the sheer insanity of that response proves that.

Compared to mine it is just ridiculous.

I mentioned that he has a problem with finances and this includes in his first marriage. I mentioned that I was mentally abused from June 27-October 30, 2007. I mentioned his addiction. I apologized for not being a very good wife when I was struggling with my illness and experiencing full-body edema and black-outs without warning.

Him?

OMG!

Guess what? I am responsible for 911, the melting ice caps, the sinking of the Titanic, the hole in the ozone layer, WWII, WWI, the Vietnam war, the Crimean war, the Civil War, the fall of the Roman empire, global warming and the advent of income tax.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I don't stand a snowball's chance in HELL!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

But yeah, so...everything is my fault. I even prevented him from going to church for God's sake!! Shame on me!! I wouldn't even let him leave the house!! faint

That is just SO hilarious!!

I really need to start that book!

Well, I might try to sleep in a while. We'll see! LOL!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 01:29 PM
Quote
I wouldn't even let him leave the house!!

Can you IMAGINE the power we betrayed have?



But I wonder...since we are so powerful, how come we didn't have the power to keep a wayturd from straying???

D'ya know that VD accused me of having some "white people" magic/mojo and I BRAINWASHED my husband....

AWE INSPIRING POW-ER!

(itty bitty living space)
Posted By: not2fun Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 03:24 PM
********BEAM ME UP SCOTTY*************


Woke up this morning thinkin' of ya darlin'..... flirt

Sending ya some warm and cheery love your way today....But then again you are so dang MAGNIFICENT AND FABULOUS, you don't NEED me..... kiss......

I won't wish you any luck, cuz baby, YOU DON'T NEED IT....

Let us know.....besides, if nothing else, I will need a good laugh later....


not2fun
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 03:55 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Quote
I wouldn't even let him leave the house!!

Can you IMAGINE the power we betrayed have?



But I wonder...since we are so powerful, how come we didn't have the power to keep a wayturd from straying???

D'ya know that VD accused me of having some "white people" magic/mojo and I BRAINWASHED my husband....

AWE INSPIRING POW-ER!

(itty bitty living space)

rotflmao

Ain't it, though?

OMG!!

White People Mojo Magic!!!!

rotflmao

OH, that is SO FUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotflmao

I was telling my DIL some of the stuff in there and she said the same thing you did. LOL! Gee, well, why weren't you able to stop the affair then? LOL!!

Those WSs!!!

OMG!! What a maroon!!!

I think the BSs here ought to band together and publish a book with some of this hogwash in it! LMAO!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick question... - 12/11/08 03:58 PM
Originally Posted by not2fun
********BEAM ME UP SCOTTY*************


Woke up this morning thinkin' of ya darlin'..... flirt

Sending ya some warm and cheery love your way today....But then again you are so dang MAGNIFICENT AND FABULOUS, you don't NEED me..... kiss......

I won't wish you any luck, cuz baby, YOU DON'T NEED IT....

Let us know.....besides, if nothing else, I will need a good laugh later....


not2fun

Yeah, that's what HE'LL be screamin', but Scotty ain't gonna beam up no Klingons!!! rotflmao

Awwww.....thanks not!!!

I feel more powerful already!!! (Where's that Ahnuld "Terminator" icon??) wink

Hail, I ain't ascairt a him!!

Bring it OANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/11/08 04:15 PM
Yeah, it's going to be a while before I can check in, I have class after Mediation unless it runs over so much that there's no point in going to class.

It will probably be after 10pm here when I get back. Well, unless Chef lets us go early...Chef A has been known to do that!! We don't cook in her class so there aren't any dishes to wash! LOL!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 03:25 AM
Well, we are going to trial.

Probably in January.

Shiny is very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very p*ssed at Gray. Ad infinitum.

Charlotte
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 04:47 AM
I guess that means that things didn't go so well today, huh???
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:04 AM
Do we need to supercharge the menu next time?

Send him some peridium tea?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:10 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
I guess that means that things didn't go so well today, huh???

He won't bend an inch.

Shiny is really p*ssed because Gray is the one who cheated and treated me like dogmeat and refuses to take any responsibility for it.

Shiny has learned a bit more about my living conditions over the last few days and he is extremely p*ssed about that, too. OWH talked to him about this as well.

Gray never wanted to do anything about fixing the house, even when his dad offered to help. Nope. The money went to eBay and those bulletin boards he frequents...buying stuff for his "hobby."

So my house has crumbling walls outside that crumble in your hand, I need a new front door, the window the burglar tried to break in is still covered with plywood, the guest bathroom had a leak a while back and it leaked into the walls and into one of the spare bedrooms so there's mold in a lot of areas. Faulty wiring connects the bathrooms, the safety breaker is in the guest bath and it's hooked into the master bath, in the master bath the outlet is scorched because it has gotten so hot. It hasn't been used for some time. And on and on.

At least he signed the insurance check, though. Now I can get the meter box and the roof fixed.

Yeah, Gray was pretty unreasonable. When the mediator would come back in to bring an offer, I would watch Shiny's face and his expressions told me everything I needed to know before he even opened his mouth. Oh yeah, and he would start squirming, too, trying SO HARD not to say anything so the guy could finish talking!

Then he would just EXPLODE with anger! rant2

I have NEVER, EVER seen him so p*ssed off!! His filter slipped so there was even some profanity...a REAL rarity for Shiny...I've only heard him say a bad word ONCE, and that was "damn!" He didn't use the "F" word, but I could tell he wanted to, LOL!!

It's a good thing both doors were closed, it got pretty loud in there! They might have heard him anyway, his voice really carries. LOL!!

I hope so. That would give Gray a really good idea about what is going to happen to him. He should know already!! But Shiny didn't let loose this way at the hearing when he had Gray on the stand in May. His voice was dripping with sarcasm, though, LOL!

I know from PL-T how he is when he totally blows a gasket so I think Gray is going to have a really hard time finding his spleen and the rest of his internal organs to carry home by the time Shiny gets through with him at trial!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:12 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Do we need to supercharge the menu next time?

Send him some peridium tea?

Yeah!! That's the ticket!!!

Let's throw in some Romulan Ale while we're at it so he'll get a pounding headache! Jackhammer pounding, that is!!


Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:16 AM
If this was in another arena besides a court of law, I believe Shiny would beat Gray within an inch of his life!! Maybe even past it!

Wow! Just.........WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I mean:

WOW!!!!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:29 AM
Man-o-man, I wish I could get that Shiny up here.....
Gray and my WH must be related....
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:37 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Do we need to supercharge the menu next time?

Send him some peridium tea?

Well, I didn't spell it right.....

Let's sneak him some of this and see him panic when it fully hits his system!

Tri-lyte causing a system purge with some pyridium to work other 'wonders' and some prune stuff, too. Let's see...what can we give him to make him agreeable?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:46 AM
SHINY
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:50 AM
Perhaps Gray will need the services of this place when Shiny gets through with him?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:50 AM
Let's do it!!!!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:54 AM
Uh, Charlotte, I think I'll let Shiny do it, if you don't mind. If they have a warning about the photographs, I am afraid that all I can do is help provide the food. I would not want to mess up my beautiful new princess frock.

lashes
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 05:56 AM
No doubt about it!!!

rotflmao

OMG!! He is going to rip Gray from limb to limb and use his shin bone for a pencil box!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:01 AM
And his ribs for horseshoe throwing competition. And his phalanges for beads.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:09 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Uh, Charlotte, I think I'll let Shiny do it, if you don't mind. If they have a warning about the photographs, I am afraid that all I can do is help provide the food. I would not want to mess up my beautiful new princess frock.

lashes

rotflmao

He would LOVE that!!

He loves toilet humor!! Toilet humor, gutter humor...well, let's just say his favorite scene in White Chicks is the scene in the bathroom at the country club!! And the Nutty Professor? The after-dinner scene o'course!!

LMAO!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:19 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Man-o-man, I wish I could get that Shiny up here.....
Gray and my WH must be related....

Me too!! And he would do it if he could! You'd better believe it! He is an AWESOME force!!

His problem is that he NEVER slows down! He's always out there, saving the day!!

I think it's about for him to start wearing that superhero uniform!!

wink
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:23 AM
Now you know what to give him for Christmas. laugh
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:34 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Now you know what to give him for Christmas. laugh

rotflmao

You're right!!

That's a great idea!! I wonder if I could find one at this time of year? LOL!!

If I had time I could get a scaled-down version made that says, "Super Shiny Attorney!!" Or something to that effect!!

That would be SO hilarious! He would LOVE it!!

I'm not sure what I'm getting him for Christmas. I saw something at Whole Foods a few months ago that would be nice. Maybe that.

If I can even find it now!!

Yeah, I'm going Christmas shopping this year, dang it! I didn't get to get anybody anything last year but I did make some Christmas cards. With lots of glitter and good stuff. The only gift I gave was to DIL & ODS--I gave them the money that my dad sent me for Christmas! LOL!!

Charlotte
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 06:39 AM
In all seriousness, you could get him the suit (if you can find one) as a gag gift.

For the real gift, get him a basket/bunch of his favorite food or make him a dessert he likes...something edible. smile
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 07:01 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
In all seriousness, you could get him the suit (if you can find one) as a gag gift.

For the real gift, get him a basket/bunch of his favorite food or make him a dessert he likes...something edible. smile

LOL! Well, I guess I know what I'm going to be looking for like a madwoman!!

That's a great idea, too, about the food.

Thank you, karmasrose!!!

I could make him up a basket of organic goodies from Whole Foods and make some stuff, too.

I have been experimenting with whole grain bread recipes and I gave him one of my experiments a couple of weeks ago. He loved it! He was even telling the mediator about it today!

I've been trying to get him to go to Whole Foods and shop anyway, he's worried about his health and he tends to eat a lot of junk on the go. Stuff from WF might prompt him to start going there. And once you go there, you are hooked!!

At least he would be eating healthy junk then!! LOL!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 02:49 PM
I suppose awarding Gray a free colostomy is too over the top? If he had one, he could see just how full of it he is.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/12/08 04:34 PM
NOOOOO!!!! I edited my thread instead of whatever I thought I was doing.....

I was bragging about WF - then, the next thing you know, I was granting Gray a horrible gift.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 07:53 AM
rotflmao

Well, let's see...Shiny will be using his shin bone for a pencil box...Gray will be wearing his balls for earrings...his spleen will be flung halfway to Oklahoma...he'll be pickin' his teeth out of his windpipe...Shiny will whack him so hard that his outermost layer of skin will still be standing there while the rest of his sleazy carcass is flying through the air on the way to destination unknown...LOL!

to be continued....

wink

There may not be enough left of him to tack a colostomy bag onto...
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 08:27 AM
Well, I've been contemplating a lot over the last few days.

He is really going to get taken apart in court. He has NO idea how strong the case is against him. He can trash me 'til the cows come home but all of the sh*t he flings at me will absolutely NOT stick.

All of the stuff he said about me in that response--well, whatever. I never knew him, apparently. He was just a facade.

You know, he REALLY missed his calling. He should have gone to Hollywood and been an actor. Then he could have all of the money and young girls to manipulate that he likes. That's all he cares about other than money.

He must really be delusional if he thinks that Shiny is not going to completely annihilate his [censored] in court. Shiny WILL NOT lose!!

DAYUM but he's got the taste of Gray's blood in his mouth now and he really IS the Doberman going for the jugular! And then some!

I am STILL trippin' on what transpired!!

He wants to scr*w his [censored] to the wall--his words!--and Shiny is not prone to foul language. Well, there was a LOT of it that day! Geesh!!

PLEASE people, if you are near my area and you need an attorney, THIS man is IT! In fact if you have an attorney, fire your attorney and hire HIM!! I am NOT kidding!!

Big Bada BOOM!!

I'm really kind of afraid of what might happen if he ends up making the trip out here with OWH and OWH's friend that's going to do the appraisal here. They might end up leaving and hunting Gray down after they actually SEE the condition this house is in. Pictures are one thing, seeing it is quite another. OWH is really p*ssed about this, too.

Well, if I live through this it will be really interesting to see what happens. I guess I have to watch my back now. They might decide that it is just easier to do away with me than lose all of that money in court because she'll be losing it, too. She gives him money for his attorney. Then she'll lose more when Shiny wins the day for OWH.

I have a new motto: Shiny=A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions!

T-shirts for the trial!! LOL!!

Are you sure I'm not dead? Maybe I'm really dead or in the loony bin and this is all a dream.

One day I'm living quietly with my husband and then BAM!! Next day I'm swept up into this crazy vortex!!

Okay, I guess I'm done rambling for now. I'd better get some sleep so I can get up and finish my homework for the weekend!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Verve Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 08:32 AM
Woohoo go Doberman's, they are vicious!!!!!! Send me a t-shirt. Shiny seems awesome...good for you, Charlotte. hug

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 08:40 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
Woohoo go Doberman's, they are vicious!!!!!! Send me a t-shirt. Shiny seems awesome...good for you, Charlotte. hug

Thank you, Verve!!

Yes. They ARE!!

LOL!! Okay, you'll have to give me your address so I can send one.

Shiny is AWESOME to the Nth Power!!

I will never be able to thank him enough in this lifetime for all he has done and all he will do for me. The best I can give him so far is that he'll eat gratis in my restaurant forever!! (As soon as I finish school and open it, LOL!!) He already knows that. Oh...no WONDER he is so passionate about the case! There's free food involved! LMAO!! wink

Charlotte

Posted By: Verve Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 08:47 AM
Okay, my address is 123 Main St. Anytown, US 12345

Hahah wink Can't wait to see that shirt!!

I'm very happy for you. I do read your thread, I'm just not a huge poster because I'm very shy. I've got a few drinks in me tonight so I'm a little bolder. Haha smile Let me know when you get that restaurant open, I'm a HUGE lover of good food and I bet your's will be AWESOME!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 09:19 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
Okay, my address is 123 Main St. Anytown, US 12345

Hahah wink Can't wait to see that shirt!!

I'm very happy for you. I do read your thread, I'm just not a huge poster because I'm very shy. I've got a few drinks in me tonight so I'm a little bolder. Haha smile Let me know when you get that restaurant open, I'm a HUGE lover of good food and I bet your's will be AWESOME!

rotflmao

grin

Yeah, I just know I'm going to end up making some t-shirts just for fun!! LOL!!

I really COULD wear them to court...no one but Shiny and a few others would know WTH they mean!!!!! rotflmao

Thank you, Verve! I'm glad you posted. Yeah, I'll be happy for me, too, once the "shock and awe" from Thursday wears off!! LMAO!! IF it wears off!!

LOL, yeah, a few drinks'll do it! Usually takes about 2 for me! 1 1/2, even!

Okay, I sure will!! Awwwwww.....shucks!! blush Everybody's braggin' on my food!! LOL!!

I guess I'm doing SOMETHING right...Chef Pierre is always happy with the results! So is Shiny!

Gray used to be, when I was just a "normal cook," LOL! He's REALLY going to be missing out now!! Ha ha!!

Now I just have to ace that final exam. My menu is: Chicken Breast Chardonnay, Glazed Carrot Obliques, Broccoli Hollandaise, Rissole Potatoes and Cream of Mushroom Soup. WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: bestfriend439 Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 01:52 PM
[quote=Dancing_Machine

Now I just have to ace that final exam. My menu is: Chicken Breast Chardonnay, Glazed Carrot Obliques, Broccoli Hollandaise, Rissole Potatoes and Cream of Mushroom Soup. WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!

wink

Charlotte [/quote]

Yummmy!!!!
BF439
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 06:36 PM
Charlotte,

Gift suggestion for Shiny:

A "Superman" belt with buckle to wear to court.

Do you know his waist measurement?

[The little girl staying with me from Hong Kong wears one; yellow background, Red "S" surrounded by gold. (I'll miss her when she returns to H.K. for the holidays.)]
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/14/08 09:42 PM
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Charlotte,

Gift suggestion for Shiny:

A "Superman" belt with buckle to wear to court.

Do you know his waist measurement?

[The little girl staying with me from Hong Kong wears one; yellow background, Red "S" surrounded by gold. (I'll miss her when she returns to H.K. for the holidays.)]

Awwwwwwwwwww.......how CUTE!!!!!

That's a great idea, too!!

He would LOVE that! I can hear him laughing already! LOL!!

Yeah, I only happen to know his waist size because he isn't happy with it and is on a diet, LOL!

I was thinking too...I have a friend whose husband is a massage therapist. He worked on my arms a couple of years ago because they were really bothering me, carpal tunnel, I think.

He is REALLY good!! I might give them a call and get a gift certificate for Shiny for a massage.

Heck, I might need one on my arms again, all the action with the whisk in class has sorely taxed my strongest arm!

Charlotte

Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 03:36 AM
Do you think Shiny can come to Ohio?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 04:03 AM
I had to empty that 8 feet long, 7 feet tall bookcase today. My nose is shiny.....that should get me something.....besides sick.

grumble sigh TEEF
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 04:08 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Do you think Shiny can come to Ohio?

Awwwwwwwwwwwww.........I'll sure ask him!!

If he could, I know he would! I'm not sure how the jurisdictional thing works between different states.

Yeah, I really need to get started on that novel! The world needs to know about Shiny! Then he will be immortalized forever in print! And it will be SO much better than other books about attorneys...no offense to any attorneys here, mind you!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 04:09 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I had to empty that 8 feet long, 7 feet tall bookcase today. My nose is shiny.....that should get me something.....besides sick.

grumble sigh TEEF

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 04:25 AM
rant2

It is NOT rotflmao

rant2



It's more like..... puke
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 05:16 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
rant2

It is NOT rotflmao

rant2



It's more like..... puke

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 05:24 AM
I talked to OWH tonight to ask him if he was nervous about his hearing.

He said he is, just a little bit.

I told him NOT to worry!! LOL!!

His mom is going to go. She got to meet Shiny the other day. Cool! I'll finally get to meet her...the fired-up little Italian lady!!

I also asked him WTH he said to Shiny the other day to get him so fired up?

He said he was calm and cool when he talked to him.

So I said, well, I guess whatever you told him really got him fired up, Dude, because he was ready to jump the fence and whale on the competition for a few hours!! A few very LONG hours!! LOL!

Again: WOW!!

Shock and Awe, Gray...Shock and Awe!!! You'll never know what hit you once Shiny gets through with you and you will be wondering why your feet are so warm until you look down and realize you are in hell!! Adios!! It USED to be nice knowin' ya!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 02:06 PM
Well, I guess you aren't interested in recovery, huh? think

uhuh

rotflmao





BTW, I had to use puke because that was the closest smiley to a sneeze.

sigh Actually, this is a lot like how I feel today.....nose tender, eyes dry, head stopped up - - allergies to the max!..... sigh
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 04:48 PM
There's been a lot of superman stuff on bidz.com.

Hey Char.

I live kinda near you...but fer enough away NOT to have heard Shiny go off.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 06:51 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
There's been a lot of superman stuff on bidz.com.

Hey Char.

I live kinda near you...but fer enough away NOT to have heard Shiny go off.

Are you sure? rotflmao He was really LOUD!!!

Cool. I've never been to bidz.com. I think I'll go check it out later. Thanks!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 06:58 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, I guess you aren't interested in recovery, huh? think

uhuh

rotflmao





BTW, I had to use puke because that was the closest smiley to a sneeze.

sigh Actually, this is a lot like how I feel today.....nose tender, eyes dry, head stopped up - - allergies to the max!..... sigh

Recovery?

I don't think so, Tim. Personal recovery, yes.

Gray has killed anything left inside of me that cared about him. Not just his actions, and inactions...like when it comes to the kids.

But just seeing him through the eyes of others, KWIM?

I'm not angry and I just can't seem to get angry at him because I don't care. But I see how angry others are at what he has done and is still doing.

Like DIL, Mom, Shiny, OWH, etc.

It's almost like: it's no surprise to me that he is the way he is so it doesn't faze me. Then I hear through others their anger at his actions...

Am I making any sense here? grin

Just let me know and I will try to explain it better. It makes sense in my head! LOL!! Getting it down on paper is another story!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Charlotte22's Thread - 12/15/08 07:54 PM
Shiny just called.

I found out about the insurance check. I told him that if he mentioned it the other day I'm sure it went in one ear and out the other after all of the yakkity-yak and figures and what-not during Mediation.

Not to mention the bomb blasts!! LOL!!

Palpitine is supposed to put the check in his trust account and then we have to get permission from the court in order to get the meter box and roof fixed.

Fun, huh?

LOL!

He said, you know they are going to make things as difficult as possible.

Yeah, I noticed!! rotflmao

But he'll take care of HIM when we go to court and blast his *ss out of the water!

I said...with you at the helm, I don't see that as a problem!

He thanks me for the vote of confidence...as if he needs it!! LOL!!

So we are going to present a united front at OWH's hearing again.

YAY!!

OWH's mom will be there, too.

Slag is TOAST, Baby!!!

Blackened toast!! Only she won't be able to scrape away the blackened part the way you can do sometimes and still salvage the toast to eat. She will be totally blackened through and through!!

It will match her black heart! LOL!!

LOOK OUT SLAG, SHINY'S GUNNIN' FOR YA'!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOO!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Sad news... - 12/26/08 08:53 AM
Shiny's former PL-T called me on Christmas Day with terrible news.

She was out walking her doggies Christmas Eve for a potty break in the evening and they were attacked by a pit bull. Sweet little dust-mop doggy was horribly wounded, as was one of the other dogs and T herself.

We were JUST hanging out earlier that day and had lunch, ran around and did some shopping, ran into a former employee of Shiny's...a chance meeting at Hobby Lobby...then we went back to T's place and hung out with the dogs and talked for a long time.

I left to go home and T went to pick up her daughter from her X's place.

T and daughter got home, her bf came over and they were going to grill some steaks but T decided to take the doggies out first before cooking.

The pit bull came up to them wagging his tail and then grabbed little dust-mop and shook her like a rag doll. T tried to stop him and he attacked one of the other dogs and T.

They went to the vet and found out little dust-mop had a punctured lung and needed surgery. It would have been $8,000.00. T didn't want her baby to suffer and decided it would be better to let her go.

She called Shiny about what happened and he offered to pay for the surgery but T said it was okay...there was no telling what other damage might be in her baby's tiny little body besides that punctured lung until the vet actually cut into her. (She told me that Shiny was shaking on the other end of the line when she told him about the attack.)

So she and daughter said goodbye and let her go. Her other doggy had to be stitched up; the pit bull missed his jugular by a few short millimeters.

T had to go to the emergency room...the pit bull had mangled her hand on the arm that she had surgery on a few months ago after an accident. It was just really starting to get better.

She said she did everything Shiny told her to do as far as legally. A friend will handle her case but they aren't suing the owners of the dog, just their insurance company.

T didn't even want the cops to give the dog's owner a ticket because the owner was so distraught. So now the dog is in quarantine.

T is so destroyed. It's just awful!

I don't think I'll be able to go to her on Friday because I am taking care of my grandma so I'm going to go there on Saturday and stop at the nursery to get her a plant. She loves houseplants and has quite a few huge specimens around her apartment.

I don't know what else to say to comfort her...it's always SO hard when you lose an animal friend. And little dust mop was the SWEETEST little thing! So are her other two, though. The other doggy that got injured was just chillin' in my lap while we talked on Christmas Eve. Little dust mop was trying to get up on the couch and she's so tiny it was really hard for her, but so cute!

Poor little thing!

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: Sad news... - 12/26/08 02:20 PM
cry

I am SO sorry.

Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Sad news... - 12/26/08 05:39 PM
Charlotte,

I am sorry to hear about that too. My DD had a Pit that was the sweetest thing, but I always worried. When we kicked her out she took him, but I think living with all of the crack heads and breathing crack all day definitely had a bad effect on him. He attacked someones cat and almost killed it. When she got evicted, the landlord called the SPCA and they put him down. I was relieved because I saw such a change in his behavior. While he was with us though, he was a sweet, funny dog. Smart too. He took more abuse from my Boston Terrier than any dog should take, but he didn't seem to mind.
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Sad news... - 12/31/08 01:57 AM
Hey girl. You've been awfully quiet the past few days. What gives?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update and all that jazz... - 01/04/09 08:08 AM
Hi Chai and cinders...thank you for the condolences for T. She is doing better and Shiny will make sure she is taken care of. They have been friends like, forEVER! LOL! (Yeah, I've heard LOTS of great stories!! wink )

Her daughter already wants to get another Yorkie. T didn't really want to but since her daughter does she will go along with it.

I got some cool news Friday. Letter in the mail: I have an average of 4.0 and I'm on the Honor Roll! The President's Honor Roll, no less!! Wow!! hurray

I had NO idea my average was that high! Last I knew, in Week 6, I was a 3.8!!

Sooooooooo................WAY COOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!!

This will look good for court, too, me thinks! wink

dance2

Oh yeah, and the title for the house came in the mail that day, too. Phew!! Finally got it paid for! No thanks to MG!! Up to him, we'd have had a foreclosure, like in his first marriage.

I did something stupid on Friday night, though. I sneezed and threw my back out!! I'm still shuffling around doing spring cleaning, though!!

I just wish I had actually been doing SOMETHING to throw it out besides a sneeze!! I'm hoping this doesn't last too long...I was going to go to belly dancing class in the coming week. I've had to live with belly dancing at home because one of my classes at school was on the same night.

Yeah, I'll never sneeze again!!! rotflmao

Some years ago I threw my back out when I bent over to pick a flower so you just never know!!

Well, back to work!!

Charlotte



Posted By: cinderella Re: Update and all that jazz... - 01/04/09 06:03 PM
Threw your back out sneezing? Bummer......I know how icky that can be. Sort of. Tons of back problems. (I once separated a rib coughing - while pregnant.) It seems that, sometimes, your body just has it in for you.
Posted By: Miss M Re: Update and all that jazz... - 01/04/09 07:48 PM
Well, I told you you'd get straight A's, didn't I?

Good for you girl!!

Me, I didn't do so well, just a pitiful 3.74 average, and I am only on the Vice President's List. sigh

Hopefully I'll do better this quarter, starting tomorrow!!!.

Just need to discipline myself more.

Congratulations, Charlotte!!!! hurray

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update and all that jazz... - 01/06/09 04:49 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Threw your back out sneezing? Bummer......I know how icky that can be. Sort of. Tons of back problems. (I once separated a rib coughing - while pregnant.) It seems that, sometimes, your body just has it in for you.

Yeah, I may have to skip belly dancing this week. I'm playing it by ear. Or more appropriately, by back!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Oh that was SO funny I forgot to laugh!!!

Yeah, I know...don't quit your day job, Charlotte!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Here we go loop-de-loo!!!

Cabin fever!!!! Yeah, just a tad!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update and all that jazz... - 01/06/09 04:54 AM
Originally Posted by Miss M
Well, I told you you'd get straight A's, didn't I?

Good for you girl!!

Me, I didn't do so well, just a pitiful 3.74 average, and I am only on the Vice President's List. sigh

Hopefully I'll do better this quarter, starting tomorrow!!!.

Just need to discipline myself more.

Congratulations, Charlotte!!!! hurray

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thank you!!! Yes, you did!!

3.74 ain't nuttin' to sneeze at!! (And believe me, I WON'T be sneezing at it, LOL!!)

Yeah, now I have to keep it up!! I guess the big test will be if I can handle the 11 hour days with 45 minutes-1 hour break of lab!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'll tell you what helps, though...the lackadaisical effort that other students put in makes me want to work harder! Plus Shiny crackin' da whip! Plus my Mom working so hard and helping me, too!

Now I gotta keep mah rep up!! I'll be singin': "Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive!! Ah, ah, ah, ah...stayin' aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!!!!!!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:01 AM
Got a court date today...doo dah...doo dahhhhhhhh.......

February. Hmmm....should be interesting! Perhaps I will invite OWH, too. He expressed an interest in going to the show. rotflmao

We'll see, we'll see!!! It would be a hoot, though, wouldn't it?

I took more pictures of the lopsided meter box that's hanging on by a thread so Shiny can forward the information AGAIN. If there's no response I guess that it will be another big issue for court in February.

I'm sure it will hold until it gets fixed. I'm sure of it.

pray pray pray

I guess there's always a chance that Gray will fold and pay the support until trial but--(did I already say this? I think I might have)--since he and Slag are rolling in dough with the year-end bonuses and all he probably doesn't give a crap and will fight any more support. I'm just guessing here.

After all I AM the one who broke the camel's back, right? I know that Gray isn't going to want to pay for any more straws!!!

But that's just too bad, ain't it? Shiny will make him pay for straws, camels and the whole shebang!!!

Count on it!! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8...........

rotflmao

Charlotte
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:37 AM
He'll have to pay for the straws, the camel's back surgery, AND rehabilitation costs!

Just try to remember, his greediness now will mean he is owed another flattening by the karma bus.

=D I'll drive! ....but I don't have a license. D:
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:44 AM
Gray is dogmeat!

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:49 AM
All of us goddesses are STAYING ALIVE!!!!!! dance2
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:51 AM
And we will continue STAYING ALIVE even more!!! dance2 lashes dance2
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 05:53 AM
Oh man, even though it's before my time...I love that song. I remember that commercial with the little kid in school strolling along and this song was playing. Anyone else remember that???


THIS version of the song was popular when I was 17 or 18.
Stayin' Alive 2
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:12 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
He'll have to pay for the straws, the camel's back surgery, AND rehabilitation costs!

Just try to remember, his greediness now will mean he is owed another flattening by the karma bus.

=D I'll drive! ....but I don't have a license. D:

No problemo, Ahnuld. Shiny insists on driving!!

SHOTGUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I call Shotgun!!!!!!!

You'll have to ride in the back with Forrest, Jenny and OWH!!!

wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:15 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Gray is dogmeat!

rotflmao

Graymeat, dogmeat, all wrapped up in fog-meat!!!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

His name is MUD!!!!!!!!!

M-O-O-N and that spells MUD!! says Tom Cullen!!!

rotflmao

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:17 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
And we will continue STAYING ALIVE even more!!! dance2 lashes dance2

WOO-HOOOOO!! Those HIPS!!! faint

HEY!! Where is John Travolta strutting? That is one of the best parts in "Stayin' Alive," the movie!!!!!!!!!!

faint

Quick! Bring the smelling salts!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:18 AM
OOOOH TOm Cullen!! I LOOOOOVE SK!

About John Travolta. I'm sad for him and his family because his son passed away. However, if they hadn't been Scientologist, and hadn't eschewed normal medicine, then there is a HUGE chance that his son would be alive today.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:33 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
Oh man, even though it's before my time...I love that song. I remember that commercial with the little kid in school strolling along and this song was playing. Anyone else remember that???


THIS version of the song was popular when I was 17 or 18.
Stayin' Alive 2

Well, truly, I got in on the tail end of the disco craze since we had our own little private Disco at the local pizza parlor in our small town! The guys that owned it were nice enough to keep it going for a while even though our gang were the only ones to frequent it!! Plus a few fringes once in a while!

The whole disco thing now...well...it's Shiny's fault! He was the one putting out the disco vibe...it took me a little while to figure that out but I finally did. Because for no "pah-tik-lah" reason at all I started listening to my old disco cd's... but it was because of HIM!! Weird, yeah. But true.

And it was REALLY funny because I mentioned that song in an email to him at one point last year and then he started singing it before we took off for the hearing in July!! I almost fell over laughing!! LMAO!!!

Well, you know, like the song says--he's a dancin' man and he just can't lose!!!!!!!!!

He likes rock-n-roll too, though, so it's cool!! He'll just bust out with a song without notice--(not in court, though, LOL!)--yeah, it's never boring! He's my friend so I'll put up with the little eccentricities!

Of course my favorite is when he sings the Jackson Five song.

Don't tell, though, he'll kick my butt!!

rotflmao





Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:37 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
OOOOH TOm Cullen!! I LOOOOOVE SK!

About John Travolta. I'm sad for him and his family because his son passed away. However, if they hadn't been Scientologist, and hadn't eschewed normal medicine, then there is a HUGE chance that his son would be alive today.

Really? His son passed away? OMG!! I didn't know!! The son with Kelly? Jet? Aw, Man!! I'm sorry to hear that!

Yeah, Stephen King--we've been tossing around the idea of watching the Green Mile again. That one is TOUGH to handle, though! Gets you right in the craw!! My aunt hasn't seen it, I keep forgetting to leave the dvd at my grandma's for her. We were discussing that on New Year's Day.

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:43 AM
A little more of the hottie!!!

dance2

Need some more?

dance2

Dancin' on!

dance2

Dancin' heaven?

dance2
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:47 AM
Charlotte, it's true. Travolta's 16yo son died suddenly.

more info from CNN

Found some more info.

He's been on my mind. I'm truly sorry for the family. I hope no one considered my dancing videos to be disrespectful.

You know, the man can dance, sing, act....has been married for years and years.
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:50 AM
I love the Green Mile. Definitely, the best SK book to movie make. Most of his books don't translate well on screen. I have to admit, I LOOOOVE The Shining but that has more to do with Jack Nicholson than it being a really great adaptation of the book. I can't stand the chick who played Wendy....man she messed up that character!

I know that they (John and Kelly) denied that he was autistic or that he had an ailment. Even going so far as to threaten to sue. It's really sad.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:53 AM
The Green Mile - part of that was shot less than 10 miles from my house.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 06:54 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Charlotte, it's true. Travolta's 16yo son died suddenly.

more info from CNN

He's been on my mind. I'm truly sorry for the family. I hope no one considered my dancing videos to be disrespectful.

You know, the man can dance, sing, act....has been married for years and years.

Yeah, I was just reading up. Looks like he had been taking "depokate" for years for seizures but it was causing other problems like liver damage so they talked to his doctors and stopped dosing him.

Man, that's so sad!!

No, I don't think your videos were being disrespectful. It's all positive! Especially when watching John Travolta dance!!

I was going to say earlier that it was time to watch Stayin' Alive again but I turned off all of my movie channels because I hardly ever watch tv. They run that movie every 2 or 3 months on Starz or Encore...one of those. At least they used to.

I guess now some stations will be showing Travolta movies to cash in on this tragedy. Like they usually do.

Going to watch videos now!!

dance2
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:01 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah, I was just reading up. Looks like he had been taking "depokate" for years for seizures but it was causing other problems like liver damage so they talked to his doctors and stopped dosing him.

If he has, that is awesome!! It just seems strange when Scientologists go on about not using "medications" you know. I've heard conflicting stories, but I have seen (from pictures and interviews) that John and Kelly loved him so much. It's a very, very sad thing.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:06 AM
Quote
I love the Green Mile. Definitely, the best SK book to movie make. Most of his books don't translate well on screen. I have to admit, I LOOOOVE The Shining but that has more to do with Jack Nicholson than it being a really great adaptation of the book. I can't stand the chick who played Wendy....man she messed up that character!

Shelly Duvall. Man, where is SHE anymore? She made a GREAT Olive in Popeye!!

Yeah, the Green Mile, Shawshank, Stand By Me...those were all pretty true to the books and/or short stories. Gray always liked Needful Things but they left SO MUCH out of that movie!!

I saw parts of the Stand but never the whole thing because they could have picked better characters for the heroes. Tom Cullen's was a good pick, though. And Randall Flagg, I guess. I always envisioned him as darker, though, not so red like Jaime.

Oh yeah, Gray liked 'Salem's Lot a lot, too. It was okay. I like David Soul but that's just because I had an ENORMOUS crush on him when he was in Starsky and Hutch!!! LOL!!

(I also had an ENORMOUS, GIGANTIC crush on Tony Orlando...but you didn't hear that from me!! LMAO!!!)

Did you see the remake of the Shining with dude, what's-his-name? He was on Wings? Stephen........crap! I can't remember but Rebecca DeMornay played Wendy.

Oh, I thought of a couple good ones...Cat's Eye and Creepshow! Yeah, but those were from short stories, too. Those always translate better.

Actually, Misery wasn't that bad but they still had to leave stuff out. And I was disappointed that he wasn't hobbled correctly in the movie but I guess that was just TOO MUCH for the filmmaker's to handle!!

Maximum Overdrive!! Yeah!! We always loved this one even though people b-tched about it! Hey it had a great soundtrack, too! AC/DC!!

Still waiting for a movie out of the Talisman. That would be REALLY good if done right!!

Oh yeah, and what about Dreamcatcher? That was pretty good even though they had to leave a TON of stuff out!

Okay, I'd better shut up now or I'll be here all night!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao





Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:09 AM
Quote
If he has, that is awesome!! It just seems strange when Scientologists go on about not using "medications" you know. I've heard conflicting stories, but I have seen (from pictures and interviews) that John and Kelly loved him so much. It's a very, very sad thing.

Yeah. There's another group that eschews doctors and/or medicine as well but I can't recall which one now. I remember a case where a little boy had to be taken away because the parents refused treatment for a common thing. I wonder whatever became of that kid?

Charlotte
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:12 AM
OMG, I laughed at Dreamcatcher (sorry). I thought it was bad, though Donnie Wahlberg is a much better actor than he is singer.

I loved Misery, but then again, I love Kathy Bates. Didn't they make a Delores Claiborne movie or have I had too much wine?

What's your favorite SK book? I have three. The Stand (of course), Desperation, and Gerald's Game with the Shining coming in a close fourth! Yeah, the TV remake of the Shining was so much more like the book, but who can forget, "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in, bash them right the F IN!"? Hahaha....JN is awesome!

He and Sean Connery are two older guys that can ALWAYS get the ladies. Even chicks my age...lol and they are old enough to be my grandfathers. I have to admit that I think old Sean Connery is better looking than 007 Connery (maybe it's because I like Daniel Craig now?). rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:12 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
The Green Mile - part of that was shot less than 10 miles from my house.

WAY cool!!!!!!!!!

Which part? Which part?

And MAN did they pick a great character for Percy Wetmore!! That guy was in the X-Files a couple of times as Eugene Tooms. ((shudder))

He was POI-FEKT!! But they did a great job of casting for the whole movie, really.

Frank Darabont did that movie, didn't he?

Rockin'!!!!!!!!!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:14 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
WAY cool!!!!!!!!!

Which part? Which part?

I second that!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:19 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah. There's another group that eschews doctors and/or medicine as well but I can't recall which one now. I remember a case where a little boy had to be taken away because the parents refused treatment for a common thing. I wonder whatever became of that kid?

Charlotte

Christian Scientists?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:24 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
WAY cool!!!!!!!!!

Which part? Which part?

I second that!

The prison exteriors.



More
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:25 AM
You're a VOL/Titan?????
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:25 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
OMG, I laughed at Dreamcatcher (sorry). I thought it was bad, though Donnie Wahlberg is a much better actor than he is singer.

I loved Misery, but then again, I love Kathy Bates. Didn't they make a Delores Claiborne movie or have I had too much wine?

What's your favorite SK book? I have three. The Stand (of course), Desperation, and Gerald's Game with the Shining coming in a close fourth! Yeah, the TV remake of the Shining was so much more like the book, but who can forget, "I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just gonna bash your brains in, bash them right the F IN!"? Hahaha....JN is awesome!

He and Sean Connery are two older guys that can ALWAYS get the ladies.

I liked Dreamcatcher because they did a good job with the connection between the friends. And of course, Thomas Jane is easy on the eyes! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! What a hottie!!!!! Did you see him in the Punisher? John Travolta was in that one, too. As a baddie!! UH-OH!!!

Let's see...the Stand #1 with a bullet!! Yeah, Gerald's Game was good but that can easily creep me out, especially if I start thinking about it in the early morning when there are only vague shapes in the bedroom...what's that??!! Could it be the Space Cowboy over there in the corner??!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Right now I think my faves are the Stand, the Green Mile and the last Bachman book-Blaze. That one was really a heart-wrencher!!

But the Talisman was really great, and the follow-up (after YEARS and YEARS finally!!) Black House.

Insomnia was pretty good too with the little bald doctors.

Carrie...that one was pretty much how it was for me in high school being picked on, minus the pig's blood at least!! (and the insane mother!)

I liked the last one quite a bit...the one with Edgar and his buddy the lawyer...the title escapes me at the moment!!

Aw, man, I could go on and on!! Misery, heck yeah!!

Oh yeah, and they did make a movie out of Dolores Claiborne but they left one of the major, major things out of it and that was quite a disappointment! I don't know WHY they left that out--it was such an integral part of the story!! I finally watched that movie in 2007 a couple of months after d-day. I had to dig it out of the videotapes because we didn't have it on dvd.

And no, not because I was thinking about what Dolores did to her husband... rotflmao

I think I did it because I was reading all of the books again so I wouldn't think about the A because I didn't know what to do about it.

Oh YEAH!!! What about Rose Madder??? That is one of my favorites too! Viva ze bool!!!!!!!!!!!




Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:28 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah. There's another group that eschews doctors and/or medicine as well but I can't recall which one now. I remember a case where a little boy had to be taken away because the parents refused treatment for a common thing. I wonder whatever became of that kid?

Charlotte

Christian Scientists?

I'm not sure. Could be.
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:31 AM
OMG LOOOOVE Rose Madder, too! *sigh* I just adore all Stephen King in general. It's funny, I read Carrie when I was 12 and I could never get into any of the others of his, but I loved that one. About 8 years ago I read IT and that WAS it, I was hooked on SK. Yes, Insomnia was great, too. I really enjoyed that.

Have you read a book called 2012? Parts of it reminded me of SK, but he is not as THOROUGH of a writer as SK. I absolutely adore how he writes. I've even read his book on writing, lol. That's because I write also. I would love to share a piece of something that I've written with others that love to read, but I'm afraid that they won't give me a real critique because they are nice...you know?

Thomas Jane, wow, yeah! I first saw him in a movie called Thursday and I was hooked! Haha
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:31 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Verve
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
WAY cool!!!!!!!!!

Which part? Which part?

I second that!

The prison exteriors.



More

Oh yeah!! The Last Castle!! That was SUCH a good movie!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:33 AM
I am not a Titan fan. LOL! When my daughter couldn't wash her hands with warm water at her elementary school, the other voters approved a gazillion dollar stadium bond deal to get bud adams to bring his Houston Oilers here. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!! puke

The Vols are OK. The 'Dores are OK. I'd rather see the Commodores win a game than the Vols - their athletes actually have to study as it is a near-Ivy League quality school...they have student athletes. It's not a 'junior pro' team like the Vols. grumble However, they can say my tax dollars don't fund football at UT but I have a feeling they do in some way. grumble

Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:33 AM
BTW, I am not a SK reader.
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:34 AM
Haha, well all I will say is that if I had stayed in my hometown, UT would be my alma mater....

I HAVE to bleed orange, otherwise my family would kick my behind. My mom HAS to watch every Vols game and especially Lady Vols. Even when she is here at my house (and none of us are into sports).

Go TN! rotflmao

What kind of books do you like, Cinders? Do you like to read?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:40 AM
One of the best books I've read in ages is Chasing Fireflies.

I like novels....love Jeffrey Archer.



OOPS!!! I needed to go to bed 2 hours or more ago.....gotta run. Less than 4 hours till the alarm goes off. :MrEEk:
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:41 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
OMG LOOOOVE Rose Madder, too! *sigh* I just adore all Stephen King in general. It's funny, I read Carrie when I was 12 and I could never get into any of the others of his, but I loved that one. About 8 years ago I read IT and that WAS it, I was hooked on SK. Yes, Insomnia was great, too. I really enjoyed that.

Have you read a book called 2012? Parts of it reminded me of SK, but he is not as THOROUGH of a writer as SK. I absolutely adore how he writes. I've even read his book on writing, lol. That's because I write also. I would love to share a piece of something that I've written with others that love to read, but I'm afraid that they won't give me a real critique because they are nice...you know?

Thomas Jane, wow, yeah! I first saw him in a movie called Thursday and I was hooked! Haha

Oh It!! I forgot about It!! Tim Curry was so great in that movie as Pennywise in the movie! Yeah, It is definitely in the Top 5!! Or 10!! It's so hard to pick!

2012...nope but I'll sure look for it!

Yeah, I read On Writing, too! I like to write also which is probably why Stephen King is such a favorite. A lot of people just think, "Oh, he's a horror writer, blah blah, blah..." but DANG he captures human emotions so WELL!! Human emotions, habits, oddities, etc. !!!!!!!!!!!

I would like to read it! I write mostly short stories and poems but I need to batten down the hatches and get started on that Shiny novel soon! He already has actors picked out to play his role! LMAO!!

Ooh! Did you ever see Thomas Jane in that movie with Vincent D'Onofrio (yet ANOTHER hottie!!)? Crud! I can't remember the name of it!! It was an indie-kinda movie...well, maybe I'll remember it later. I have a copy of it somewhere. Ooh! And VD'O had LONG hair...WOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, MOMMA!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:42 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
BTW, I am not a SK reader.

Aw, bummer!!!
Posted By: Verve Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 07:43 AM
I've not read that or any of his novels. What does JA generally write about?

Edit: Alright I gotta go to bed too. I have a job callback tomorrow...woohoo!

Edit 2: If you ever want to share any writing or read what something that I've written (and give an Honest to God assessment) you can reach me at the email on my signature line. I really want an unbiased opinion. My fault, with writing, is that I rarely finish anything. I get tired of the story and the chars and have more in mind. So....maybe if I get honest opinions it will inspire me smile
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Mishmash - 01/06/09 09:01 AM
Originally Posted by Verve
I've not read that or any of his novels. What does JA generally write about?

Edit: Alright I gotta go to bed too. I have a job callback tomorrow...woohoo!

Edit 2: If you ever want to share any writing or read what something that I've written (and give an Honest to God assessment) you can reach me at the email on my signature line. I really want an unbiased opinion. My fault, with writing, is that I rarely finish anything. I get tired of the story and the chars and have more in mind. So....maybe if I get honest opinions it will inspire me smile

Yep, me too. In just a few. I have done enough spelunking in Boy's (ODS's) old room, LOL!!

Found ANOTHER box of clothes!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

rotflmao

That makes FOURTEEN boxes!! And they aren't small boxes, either. They are BIG!! I can't BELIEVE Gray had so many dang clothes!! And I thought I was bad??!! :MrEEk:

Hey, at least I WEAR mine! He has clothes here that he either bought or that were given to him that aren't even WORN!! At ALL! Well, it's all going to the Paralyzed Veterans of America's Thrift Store so someone will get some nice clothing!

Those aren't even all of his clothes, either. There are more that I haven't been able to get to yet. This box was a hidden surprise. There are a few kid's clothes mixed in but not very dang many!!

WOW!! :MrEEk: faint AGAIN!!

Yeah, I'd like to take you up on that, Verve, Baby!!

Soon. Very soon.

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine WOO! - 01/06/09 04:04 PM
Just got word...

The judge called. Instead of a hearing in February, we are going to trial!!

Hoo, Boy!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 04:12 PM
Tell Shiny he needs to go help our friend, Chai.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 06:16 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Tell Shiny he needs to go help our friend, Chai.

Yes. He knows. He wishes he could, too!

From now on just advise anyone who is going to file to move here for 6 months beforehand. That way everyone is covered!! LOL!! wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 06:18 PM
Oh yeah, and that's February 3rd. A Tuesday. For any interested spectators. wink

I'll try to get those invitations printed up this weekend.

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 06:21 PM
And...EGADS!!!

I need to find some red shoes to go with my suit!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 07:25 PM
Okay, okay...I just couldn't resist!!! And this is a little nod to BB, too, since she is convinced that Shiny looks like Sylvester Stallone. (I just DON'T see it, though!!!)



Training Montage


rotflmao

Ha ha haaaaaaaa!!! Am I crazier yet?? Only my hairdresser knows for sure!!! wink

On second thought...not even my hairdresser knows THAT!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 07:33 PM
Couldn't resist this one either!

WOO-HOO!!
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 07:45 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Oh yeah, and that's February 3rd. A Tuesday. For any interested spectators. wink

I'll try to get those invitations printed up this weekend.

rotflmao

Sweet!

The AG's office just notified us that they are taking VD (OW) back to court to try to force her to pay her child support.

If she doesn't pay, they are "supposed" to issue a warrent.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 07:46 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
And...EGADS!!!

I need to find some red shoes to go with my suit!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

rotflmao

I have the most GORGEOUS pair of red shoes. They are my "gettin' lucky" shoes.
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 08:07 PM
Rocky of a different sort
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 08:11 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Oh yeah, and that's February 3rd. A Tuesday. For any interested spectators. wink

I'll try to get those invitations printed up this weekend.

rotflmao

Sweet!

The AG's office just notified us that they are taking VD (OW) back to court to try to force her to pay her child support.

If she doesn't pay, they are "supposed" to issue a warrent.

WOO-HOO!! A warrant!! Wish I could be a fly on the wall when the cops bust down the door!!

hurray
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 08:12 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
And...EGADS!!!

I need to find some red shoes to go with my suit!!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

rotflmao

I have the most GORGEOUS pair of red shoes. They are my "gettin' lucky" shoes.

Wellllllllllllllll.....I WOULD ask to borrow them but I don't think Shiny would let me wear them to court!!!

blush
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 08:15 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella

Cool! I love ice skating. Sure keeps the guys in good shape. Especially in the booty and thighs!! WOO!! blush

Shiny won't be missing any jumps, though!! That's FO' SHO'!!!!

grin
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/06/09 11:03 PM
I used to ice skate. As an adult. Yup, it did nice things for my legs. I have these incredible custom made skated....have never worn them enough to break them in. They hurt like all get out because they are way too good for my skating.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 05:56 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I used to ice skate. As an adult. Yup, it did nice things for my legs. I have these incredible custom made skated....have never worn them enough to break them in. They hurt like all get out because they are way too good for my skating.

Yeah, I did when I was little. Then we moved here from Houston and there was no place to ice skate!! Waaaaaahhhhh!!! wink

So I did everything else. Mostly horseback riding. LOL!

Well, I had a rather interesting day! I was going to post earlier, but Shiny gave me some MUY interesting reading material and I am having trouble peeling my eyes away from that! I needed to take a break, though because it is so LOOOONNNNNNNGGGG!!! But fascinating, Mr. Spock, yes. VERY fascinating!!

I had to run some errands so I decided to drop by Shiny's and drop off some paperwork and other things.

We had a pow-wow about the case and then he wanted me to stick around for a while so he asked if I would catch the phone and help with some paperwork as needed. Of course I said yes!! If I need a job for the summer break I guess I will see if he needs any help over there, LOL!! It's always interesting, that's for sure!! Today I got to chat with a lady he was drafting a Power of Attorney for and that was way cool.

Yeah, I'm probably going to end up "cheffing" my way through law school, LOL!! I guess I should have just gone ahead to law school right away. Heck, I should have gone 20 years ago, when I first planned to go!! Ah well, better late than never!

Oh yeah!! And and Shiny called Palpatine--PL-L had already sent another fax about the meter box and the next thing I know, Shiny was on the phone with Palpatine asking him--(oh so nicely even though he wants to beat the living crap out of Gray, LOL!!)--if he will call his client IMMEDIATELY so the meter box can be fixed before Charlotte turns into a Crispy Critter!! LMAO!!

I was about to leave when I remembered to ask him about the message I sent him earlier--Rocky's theme in a voice message!! (I sent it as "Shiny's new theme song.") LMAO!! He couldn't get it to work so I had to show him. He liked it!! wink The voice messages will only record for a minute so I couldn't get the whole song on there...darn!!

Yeah, I had sent it to PL-T earlier in the day, too. I put: "I just have one thing to say..." in the subject line. PL-T said she was ROTFLHAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I stopped by PL-T's after I left Shiny's because she had a pot pie in the oven for me--mmmmmmmm.....Marie Callender's Chicken Pot Pie!! I wanted to see how the doggies were doing, too.

She said she broke up with her boyfriend on Sunday. He just wanted to have someone to pal around with and she felt like she has been dating him under false pretenses all of this time because she thought they were going to have something more. She seems to be okay about it. She was looking for some single's club at a church online. I hope she doesn't try to drag me over there!! LOL!! NO MEN!! Not for me!! (Or women, for that matter!!) LOL!!

We went out on her balcony because she still smokes but not in her apartment and while we were up there, who do you think comes strolling up the sidewalk? That's right! Shiny! LMAO!! He was helping PL-L look for one of her daughters who hadn't checked in.

Her sister was missing, too, so I said, well...they are probably together shopping somewhere.

Yeah. They were. So hopefully Shiny got to go home to sleep then because he looked REALLY tired when I left the office earlier. Tired to the point of when you start to feel like you are in a daze and you start getting loopy!! LOL!

Well, I have more work to do now then before I left!! Gotta bunch of stuff to get ready for Shiny so I'd better get my butt in gear! If I can get away from this interesting reading material!! My goodness!!!!!

Charlotte





Posted By: SIHW Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:05 AM
Oh chhaaaarrrrr..guess what.....


I start back to Belly Dancing tommarrow night! I've been rather blah this last year...new year...time to get my buns in gear....

CONGRATS on the thwartation of slag and your dee de dee Xh.
Go shiny....he's a keeper.

BTW I forgot to mention....

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!

we decided....no date tho. i think it will be something small with the fam...F and I want DS to be part of the ceremony with the family (Unlike his father who didn't even invite his son because ow didn't want him to be a distraction during the ceremony....I am sorry I could not get married without my son there). Then we will sneak away to the virgin islands for a beach wedding and a week on the sand and in the sun.

Now comes the fun part saving up....anyone been to tourtuga and water island?
Posted By: miriam123 Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:39 AM
Go Shiny, Go Shiny, Go Shiny....

Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte...

hurray

- M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:40 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Oh chhaaaarrrrr..guess what.....


I start back to Belly Dancing tommarrow night! I've been rather blah this last year...new year...time to get my buns in gear....

CONGRATS on the thwartation of slag and your dee de dee Xh.
Go shiny....he's a keeper.

BTW I forgot to mention....

I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!

we decided....no date tho. i think it will be something small with the fam...F and I want DS to be part of the ceremony with the family (Unlike his father who didn't even invite his son because ow didn't want him to be a distraction during the ceremony....I am sorry I could not get married without my son there). Then we will sneak away to the virgin islands for a beach wedding and a week on the sand and in the sun.

Now comes the fun part saving up....anyone been to tourtuga and water island?

WOO-HOO!! dance2

Yeah, I'm due Thursday if my back permits, LOL! Otherwise it will be next week and I'll just have to miss that first class.

Thank you! Yeah, it's been a butt-kickin' good time down here in Texas!! rotflmao

CONGRATULATIONS!!! hurray

Frankly, I don't see myself EVER doing THAT again!! LMAO!! Strangely, the thought of not doing it again doesn't bother me a bit!! Of course I have to leave a crack open just in case, but I just don't see it. Maybe someday I might change my mind. Who knows? But now? NO WAY, JOSEFINA!!!!!!!!!

Man, that is sad that your son's dad didn't even invite him to the wedding!! Because of OW? Please excuse me a minute...

:RollieEyes: :RollieEyes: :RollieEyes:

puke

There. That's better! So will he be Best Man at yours? Groom of Honor? wink That would be cool. ODS was Best Man for his dad at our wedding, YDS was the ring bearer and DD was the flower girl. Aw, they were SO CUTE! I still have their little suits and her little dress. I have NO idea what to do with them OR with my wedding dress, though!! Who wants to buy a jinxed wedding dress??!!

rotflmao


Ah what the heck...maybe I can be Zombie Bride for Halloween!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:43 AM
Originally Posted by miriam123
Go Shiny, Go Shiny, Go Shiny....

Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte, Go Charlotte...

hurray

- M

kiss

Awww.....thanks, miriam!!!

Heck yeah!!! Shiny is going to TOTALLY ROCK!!!!!!!!!! As per usual!!! wink

I still need to find those red shoes, though!!!!! That's one thing I DIDN'T get done today but I don't even care!!! It was worth it!! LOL!!!!

Mayhap Ah'll find em oan Thursdee... rotflmao
Posted By: SIHW Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:58 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Man, that is sad that your son's dad didn't even invite him to the wedding!! Because of OW? Please excuse me a minute...

:RollieEyes: :RollieEyes: :RollieEyes:

puke

haha no his mother found out and asked me if he could go. *EG* I gladly let DS go (with a candy bar)....he stood at the alter arms wrapped around his fathers legs and every time OW spoke (vows etc) DS growled at her loudly...darn there was no reception tho (rolls eyes).....(polishes halo) what it's a memorable event...had to make sure there was plenty of memories to go around.

But anyways.....time to get PUMPED up...gotta get back in shape...wanna get back to wearing that 2 piece on the beach like i did in august. I am so excited for tommarow...wish you could be there.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 07:12 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Man, that is sad that your son's dad didn't even invite him to the wedding!! Because of OW? Please excuse me a minute...

:RollieEyes: :RollieEyes: :RollieEyes:

puke

haha no his mother found out and asked me if he could go. *EG* I gladly let DS go (with a candy bar)....he stood at the alter arms wrapped around his fathers legs and every time OW spoke (vows etc) DS growled at her loudly...darn there was no reception tho (rolls eyes).....(polishes halo) what it's a memorable event...had to make sure there was plenty of memories to go around.

But anyways.....time to get PUMPED up...gotta get back in shape...wanna get back to wearing that 2 piece on the beach like i did in august. I am so excited for tommarow...wish you could be there.

Awwww......I hope someone videotaped that ceremony!!! LMAO!!

Yeah, I wish I could be there tomorrow, too!! It would be so much FUN!!!!! And lots of laughter!! At least after the newbies loosen up a little bit!!!

Everyone is always so skittish when it comes to the chest gyrations!!!


WOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! Chest gyrations!! Easy to practice in the car!! wink Just don't do it in the midst of a lot of traffic!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: SIHW Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 08:22 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Everyone is always so skittish when it comes to the chest gyrations!!!


WOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! Chest gyrations!! Easy to practice in the car!! wink Just don't do it in the midst of a lot of traffic!!!

rotflmao

ROLF LMAO Chest gyrations...I am scared for the other people in the class....unfortunatly my "girls" also gained some weight....I am scared I might hurt somebody.... *cough* *hack* <_< >_>
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 08:31 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Everyone is always so skittish when it comes to the chest gyrations!!!


WOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! Chest gyrations!! Easy to practice in the car!! wink Just don't do it in the midst of a lot of traffic!!!

rotflmao

ROLF LMAO Chest gyrations...I am scared for the other people in the class....unfortunatly my "girls" also gained some weight....I am scared I might hurt somebody.... *cough* *hack* <_< >_>

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Oh yeah? Are they as big as Rasputia's in Norbit?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Did you see that movie? OMG!! The funniest part was when her boobs were honking the horn!!!

LMAO!! your "girls"...I haven't heard that description in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time!!

I finally finished Shiny's reading material and I'm going to try and go to sleep now. Boy, I sure hope I have a day off when he has THAT trial!! Mama MIA!!! It is going to be GOOOOOOOOD!!!!

wink

Charlotte

Posted By: SIHW Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 03:18 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Everyone is always so skittish when it comes to the chest gyrations!!!


WOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! Chest gyrations!! Easy to practice in the car!! wink Just don't do it in the midst of a lot of traffic!!!

rotflmao

ROLF LMAO Chest gyrations...I am scared for the other people in the class....unfortunatly my "girls" also gained some weight....I am scared I might hurt somebody.... *cough* *hack* <_< >_>



Oh yeah? Are they as big as Rasputia's in Norbit?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Did you see that movie? OMG!! The funniest part was when her boobs were honking the horn!!!

LMAO!! your "girls"...I haven't heard that description in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time!!


wink

Charlotte

Thankfully no not THAT big. but they were heading that way again....gotta get new bras.... haha DS just woke up....he had damp hair when he went to bed last night...wow talk about cowlick city. wonder if it's crazy hair day at school?
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 04:35 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Mama MIA!!! It is going to be GOOOOOOOOD!!!!

wink

Charlotte

Mama Mia!

Mama Mia!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:32 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Mama MIA!!! It is going to be GOOOOOOOOD!!!!

wink

Charlotte

Mama Mia!

Mama Mia!

I haven't seen that. Is that a movie I need to see? grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:34 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Everyone is always so skittish when it comes to the chest gyrations!!!


WOOO-HOOOOOOO!!!! Chest gyrations!! Easy to practice in the car!! wink Just don't do it in the midst of a lot of traffic!!!

rotflmao

ROLF LMAO Chest gyrations...I am scared for the other people in the class....unfortunatly my "girls" also gained some weight....I am scared I might hurt somebody.... *cough* *hack* <_< >_>



Oh yeah? Are they as big as Rasputia's in Norbit?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Did you see that movie? OMG!! The funniest part was when her boobs were honking the horn!!!

LMAO!! your "girls"...I haven't heard that description in a lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng time!!


wink

Charlotte

Thankfully no not THAT big. but they were heading that way again....gotta get new bras.... haha DS just woke up....he had damp hair when he went to bed last night...wow talk about cowlick city. wonder if it's crazy hair day at school?

rotflmao

Let's just make it crazy hair day period!!! For one and all!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/07/09 06:42 PM
OY! Charlotte.......get the movie and have a girly girl get together. Hey, you can just come to my house and we can put it on and shimmy around the house acting like Donna and the Dynamos!

My daughter can help us. She selected it for me for Christmas. There is a singalong option so the lyrics appear at the bottom of the screen.

Meryl Streep can be an Honorary Goddess! Sings! Dances! Acts!!! Ah, such talent. And, I hear she tries to live a regular-person life.
Posted By: SIHW Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 04:43 AM
My 6 year old niece LOVES THAT movie...she is our little dancer in the family and she sings and dances around the house...it's so cute!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 05:46 AM
LOL! Okay, okay, y'all win!! I'll have to find out who has seen this and maybe all us goils can get together and see it. Sounds like fun!!

Well I had some success today in getting a good estimate for the house. Now I just need to make sure all of the repairs are appraised so we can get this as low as possible.

And...WOO-HOOOOOOO!! I just HAD to read Shiny's reading material AGAIN!!

It is just TOOOOOOOO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!! wink

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 05:50 AM
Oh yeah, and I got Shiny's bill for the Mediation today.

OMG!! It is SO LOW!! You wouldn't believe me if I told you how much!

I am going to have to kick his butt for this. This is ridiculous!!

I already complained about this to him before. He just laughs!! What do you do?? crazy

DAMN! I need to win the lotto so I can give him a BIIIIIIG tip!!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 06:22 AM
super trouper - lousy quality, though

The Winner Takes It All with Streep singing.....did you know she really can sing?

Rent the movie this weekend! :twobyfour:
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 08:42 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
super trouper - lousy quality, though

The Winner Takes It All with Streep singing.....did you know she really can sing?

Rent the movie this weekend! :twobyfour:

Well, I have a Shiny powwow this weekend for trial so it will have to wait!!

Yes, Meryl Streep is really good! Did you ever see "Stuck on You?"

Aw, Man...such a sweet, funny movie!! She has a great role there.

See it if you haven't already. Plus, the filmmakers pay homage to a real set of conjoined twins that one of the channels (Discovery Health? can't remember now) has covered again and again.

They are mentioned in the movie and the singing twin is featured at the start of the credits singing one of her songs. Her stage name is Reba, after Reba MacIntyre (sp? sorry Reba fans! Not sure on that spelling!)

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 08:45 PM
hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shiny has the check! He just got it! I'm about to go get it!!! I can get the meter box fixed now!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

And I know it will hold until they fix it. I know it. I said...I KNOW it!!!!

pray pray pray pray pray pray

grin

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/08/09 09:32 PM
dance2
Posted By: bestfriend439 Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 12:57 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
super trouper - lousy quality, though

The Winner Takes It All with Streep singing.....did you know she really can sing?

Rent the movie this weekend! :twobyfour:

I agree -- its the best for dancing around and feeling all goddessey!
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 01:13 AM
Yeah!!!! Good job Char.
Posted By: miriam123 Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 01:33 AM
MAZEL TOV!!!

- M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 05:51 AM
Hey Y'all! How goings it?

Well, that was interesting...to say the least!!!

I was planning on going to clear up my holds at school so they will let me go to class Monday and then go look for some RED RED RED RED RED RED RED RED shoes to go with my little red Corvette...oh, I mean...my little red skirt suit for court, LOL!

So I left all of my stuff in the car at Shiny's because I was going to run in, grab the check and go. He was having Mediation there today.

I was talking to PL-L and he came out and started picking on me, as per usual, LOL!

So he puts me to work. Then he goes and gets fried chicken for everyone.........mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! And jalapenos, too, for me!! LOL!!

I finally had to go, though, so I could get to the school before it was too late. But hey! I got to save OWH some major bucks...it was his case I was working on!! LOL!!

So, reluctantly, I left.

It worked out perfectly, though...because I was delayed by Shiny I got to the school at just the right time and got in and out of there in less than 30 minutes!! They said any sooner and the lines would have been awful!!!

WOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Can't argue with fate!!

I looked over the Production from Gray for a bit. He has next to NOTHING in there of his but he made sure to print out a lot of the checks I wrote for dance lessons--(which were paid for with MY OWN money, I must add!)--plus, there were snide little comments written on some of them. How unprofessional!!

He had a copy, or a partial copy from his bank account that said he had $43 in there. Oh BROTHER!! :RollieEyes:

Excuse me...but what a little whiny-[censored] baby he is!!

Whatever. I don't care. Shiny is not worried about that crap and neither am I.

I mean, REALLY!! He's so interested in trying to smear me all over the place he didn't even have the proper documentation!!

Well, it's his [censored].

LOL! Baby Attorney came trotting into the office when I was there. He asked me if I was working there part-time or what. LOL! I said, yeah, I'm working my way up!!! LMAO!!

He just found out his thyroid is malfunctioning so we had a long discussion about that.

Wow! What a day!! I wish I had left earlier now. I could have saved OWH even more money! But then, I didn't know the insurance check was there so I wouldn't have stopped there so...what the heck! Considering the work I had to do, I saved him close to $200, at least!! That's nothing to sneeze at!!

(And I won't be sneezing, either, I'm not killing my back again!) LOL!

So I didn't get to belly dancing class tonight but I had already decided to wait until next week to make sure my back was up to par.

Anyway...back to work for me!! Gotta get the rest of Gray's crap sifted out of mine!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 02:13 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Oh yeah, and I got Shiny's bill for the Mediation today.

OMG!! It is SO LOW!! You wouldn't believe me if I told you how much!

I am going to have to kick his butt for this. This is ridiculous!!

I already complained about this to him before. He just laughs!! What do you do?? crazy

DAMN! I need to win the lotto so I can give him a BIIIIIIG tip!!

Charlotte

Sounds like Shiny is one of the last True Southern Gentlemen.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/09/09 02:17 PM
Quote
Can't argue with fate!!

Yes you can.

But Providence is a whole 'nother beastie.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/11/09 06:31 AM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Oh yeah, and I got Shiny's bill for the Mediation today.

OMG!! It is SO LOW!! You wouldn't believe me if I told you how much!

I am going to have to kick his butt for this. This is ridiculous!!

I already complained about this to him before. He just laughs!! What do you do?? crazy

DAMN! I need to win the lotto so I can give him a BIIIIIIG tip!!

Charlotte

Sounds like Shiny is one of the last True Southern Gentlemen.

LOL!! Yeah. He's SOMETHIN' ELSE alright!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/11/09 06:39 AM
I want a guy as great as Shiny!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/11/09 07:08 AM
Well I was at Shiny's all afternoon today so we could go over everything and plan our strategy. Next Saturday OWH, Mom and XW meet with Shiny to go over their testimony.

He wanted me to watch this video related to the reading material he gave me but we ran out of time. DARN!! Ah well. Next time!! I can't wait!! I KNOW it will be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!

We were going over Gray's production and he had the same reaction as me. WTH?

For instance, answer 21 to why I don't deserve spousal support? Gray pick and chooses a bank statement from the joint account he still has access to. It happens to be the one where all of the checks the dance studio was holding went through. It doesn't matter, though, that was MY money from the bonus, not spousal support money. I had to talk myself into spending that money on myself, too, when I started dance lessons and decided to continue when everything went so well.

Most of the stuff he had in his production were just documents that were put in there to make me look bad. Or so he thinks it will. He even put correspondence from my IM, Melody in there. And of course, the PBL is in there. Trueheart's letter is, too.
Various emails but those are random. None have anything incriminating as far as what I wrote. I didn't write anything bad.

So we sat there and went through that page by page while Shiny made a list to get what we are SUPPOSED to have.

He did have a couple of things in there that should have been there: a couple of reports from the specialist he saw when he finally had a brain scan, and a copy of his bank statement. Well, half a page of it where it says he only has $43 in the bank!! LOL!! He deliberately cut off the bottom portion that shows the detail. You could tell just by looking at it.

I showed Shiny the little snide comments Gray wrote on some of the check copies he printed out from the joint account, too. I guess Palpatine didn't see those comments? I can't believe he would let that get through. How unprofessional!! Oh well, he sucks as an attorney so why am I even surprised?! LMAO!

Let's see...oh yeah, and Gray printed out a few pages of my eBay feedback. All good, I might add. He also had some pictures in there from the way "his" rooms were when he left. Before I started inventory.

I told Shiny my idea about doing a PowerPoint presentation to show the damage to the house...all the repairs needed just from wear and tear, the damage from the thwarted thief and damage to the exterior from Mother Nature.

He liked the idea so now I have to get that done before Monday. It will probably make quite an impression on the judge. Full-color photos of the plywood in the master bath and the giant hole in the wall from a repair Gray & I did to some plumbing. We fixed the plumbing but not the hole. The materials are still out in the shed.

Holes in the wall outside from the thwarted thief trying to break through the outer wall. Leak in the guest bath that caused mold around the bottom of the walls, stained ceiling and discolored linoleum.

Siding crumbling off of the house. Beehive in the wall outside the utility room. Not that I mind the bees but a couple of them have found their way inside and kicked the bucket on the floor. I walk around barefoot and I don't want to step on those!!

Yeah, it's really bad. The more I think about it the more I realize how really bad it is!! LOL!! Looking at a lot of that stuff for so long...well...after a while you just get used to it and don't even see it anymore, KWIM?

I'm going to have to take some more pictures tomorrow, though. I forgot to include our "driveway," LOL!! And I need to get close-ups of a few things, too.

So this is going to be WAAAAAAYYYYYY interesting!!! And totally KICK BUTT!!!!! Everything is falling into place as far as the strategy and the witnesses and the repair estimates...just like it is supposed to.

Oh yeah, and this is funny!! I don't talk to my dad very often and I sent a text the other day that went like this:

We are going to trial!! My Shiny Attorney is going to totally blow away the Dark Side!! You guys better keep an eye on the weather to see which way the wind is blowing so you can get out of town in case the nuclear fallout heads your way!!! And, by the way...I'm on the Honor Roll!

My dad writes back:

What does that mean?

LMAO!! He doan know me vewy well, do he?

So I had to send a translation text. Hey, but my step-mom got it, though!! ROTFLMAO!! She's a wacky woman a few steps on the other side of crazy so of COURSE she got it!!!! LMAO!!!

I'm sure she will explain to my dad what it meant, too. LOL!! Since she got it, I sent her another text and told her that if they are off that day they should come out and see my Italian Dynamo wipe the floor with Gray. And Slag. Scorched Earth, Baby!!! It's going to be a HELLUVA show!!! I am going to make an invitation but for safety reasons I won't be able to send it to just anybody. I can send it to Shiny for sure. And I can post it here since aliases will be used. Other than that I guess just Mom, XW and DIL. Oh yeah, and OWH! Maybe a few relatives of mine. Hey, I sent them wedding invitations, right? Why not divorce invitations!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Gray made a snide comment one time about me having Court TV there. (Well, they are Tru TV now, blah!) Hey, that is actually in one of the emails he printed out for his Production--it was not long after Exposure Day. I think that email is in this thread somewhere. Yeah, it is. Because schoolbus translated it for me. Thanks again, schoolbus!!!

Anyway, my point...(and I DO have one!! LOL!!)...is HECK YEAH!! I WISH!! Then the entire U.S. (and wherever else might see the broadcast) could see Shiny in ACTION, Baby!! Texas would quadruple in population!! Everyone would be clamoring to hire Shiny!! I GAR-OAN-TEE it!!!!

Okay, I've yakked enough on this mile-long thread!! I'd better go to bed so I can get that PowerPoint done tomorrow!!! Well, today now!!! LOL!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/11/09 07:28 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I want a guy as great as Shiny!

He is TOTALLY the ROCKINEST Shiny Attorney EVER!! And I'm not saying that just because he's my attorney and my friend, KWIM?

He REALLY IS THAT GOOD!

Just ask PL-T if you don't believe me!! LOL!! Even though she is working elsewhere now she remains loyal to Shiny and will certainly help him if he needs help over there. Heck, her boss even told her she'd let her take off of work to go help Shiny if necessary! LOL!!

Her boss better hope she never has to go against him in court!!!

T wants to take off of work to go to the trial, too. So there will be four of us in Shiny's car. SHOTGUN!!! I CALL SHOTGUN!!!!!!!

rotflmao

He has a trial coming up soon that I am SO HOPING I can attend!! This guy who is a minister. This is the same guy that T was telling me about a few months ago...the one Shiny had arrested, collar and all!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! GO, SHINY!!!

THAT is going to be one heck of an interesting trial!!! I just hope it's on a day that I don't have class so I can go!!

I have seen a lot of attorneys in action but Shiny? OMG!! He takes the cake!! And the pan. And the oven...and the kitchen and the house and anything else the opposing side *thinks* THEY are going to get!!! Shiny: Stamping on adultery wherever it rears its ugly head!!!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/11/09 11:12 PM
LOL!!

Just talked to OWH. He wants to film his trial. He's planning on a novel, too. LMAO!!!

I doubt he will be able to because even if the judge was inclined to give him permission...no doubt the Harpy would quash that!! I told him he needs to get the transcripts. Everything he needs is on those.

He sounded a lot better today. He was pretty wiped out the other day from gathering all of his info for Shiny. I was worried that I was hearing more than just "tired" the other day and I probably was. But he's doing okay today. YAY!! He's going to go visit his grandma today.

Oh yeah, and I told him: look for them to get married sometime in April. They have to wait 30 days after his divorce is final so that will be April. Of course, if Slag can get it on May 22, she will. Count on it. Because that's our former anniversary. LOL!

I just wanted to tell him that so he will be prepared in case he hasn't thought about it.

Charlotte
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: WOO! - 01/12/09 12:15 AM
This should be good Charlotte. I wish that you could film it so that all of us here could see Shiny drill a few new ones in Gray. Wow. When is the date????
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/12/09 05:00 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
This should be good Charlotte. I wish that you could film it so that all of us here could see Shiny drill a few new ones in Gray. Wow. When is the date????

rotflmao

Yeah, me too!! Gray is gonna look like a colander by the time Shiny gets through with him!!!

rotflmao

February 3rd is the big day!! 9 a.m. on the third floor of the courthouse!!

Be there or be square!!!

rotflmao

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/12/09 05:37 AM
Originally Posted by Charlotte
rotflmao

Yeah, me too!! Gray is gonna look like a colander by the time Shiny gets through with him!!!

rotflmao


rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 07:33 AM
Okay, this is cool!

I wanted to let my Tuesday Chef Instructors know ahead of time about the trial because I will be missing at least one class and might be late for another.

So I let Chef C know and he was really cool. He is a really nice person. I used to see him a lot when I was in Chef P's class. He always came in to raid the refrigerator for supplies, LOL!!

Well, he's really nice and he looks at me a LOT during lectures. And other times as well. He was always really friendly when I was in Chef P's class, too. He is about 6 years older than I am. Blonde hair, blue eyes. I think he is gay, though. I don't know what it means when a gay man looks at a "hetero" woman a lot, though. LOL! I am not 100% CERTAIN of his orientation yet but I have been listening for cues when he tells stories, LOL!!

It's just funny because he will be talking and he looks at me a lot and then other students look at me and I'm like...huh? What? What did I do? (No, I don't really say anything but I have noticed it happening.)

But anyway, I thought that was interesting. That's not why I'm here, though.

The second part is why I'm here, LMAO!!!

I let Chef K know about the trial, too. As it happens, her divorce was final in July. She had a situation similar to mine in that her credit was ruined. Her husband got other money out of her, too, though. I don't have a salary for Gray to steal from so I won't have that problem, LOL!! Too bad I didn't meet her sooner...I could have hooked her up with Shiny!!!!!! wink Which leads to...

I was giving her a brief synopsis and she asks:

Who is your attorney?

Me: Shiny.

Her: Ohhhhhh, REALLY?

Me: Why? Do you know him?

Her: I know the name. Your husband is in BIG TROUBLE!!!

Me: rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao Yes! He IS in BIG TROUBLE!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Then I felt like this: dance2 dance2 dance2

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, at first I thought she was going to tell me that Shiny was her ex's attorney, LOL!!! But no. Thank goodness!! Not that she would hold that against me...but...well...she very well might!!

rotflmao

Ohhhhhh...that was GREAT!!

So I danced in the car on the way home. Then I called Mom and told her. Then OWH.

Then I sent an email to Shiny about it, LOL!!

That was FUNNY!!!! WOO-HOO!!

Shiny...The Legend Continues!!

Charlotte


Posted By: jayne241 Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 07:43 AM
LOL I was thinking the same thing, "I hope she isn't about to say Shiny was her ex's lawyer..."

So how long before your lawyer has new cards made up that say "Mr. Lawyer_Real_Name, but my friends call me Shiny."

Quote
I think he is gay, though. I don't know what it means when a gay man looks at a "hetero" woman a lot, though.

It means you now have the best friend a single woman can have: a guy you can relax around without worrying how you look or whether he's gonna hit on you, and who doesn't compete with you for the same dates.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 02:32 PM
Quote
when a gay man looks at a "hetero" woman a lot, though.

It means he is a man who appreciates quality and beauty...just like any other human.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 02:34 PM
Quote
It's just funny because he will be talking and he looks at me a lot and then other students look at me and I'm like...huh? What? What did I do? (No, I don't really say anything but I have noticed it happening.)

Yanno...my first thought would be to check my zipper or make certain I didn't have spinach in my front teeth....

But...that's me...

grin<---we KNOW Char has no spinach in THOSE teeth!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 05:42 PM
Quote
LOL I was thinking the same thing, "I hope she isn't about to say Shiny was her ex's lawyer..."

rotflmao

Quote
So how long before your lawyer has new cards made up that say "Mr. Lawyer_Real_Name, but my friends call me Shiny."


rotflmao

Awwwwwww...... grin Not long now...his box is running low...no, not because I have to replenish my supply every now and then in case I run across someone who needs a FANTASTIC attorney but I'm sure that contributes to the rapid decline in the card supply!! LOL!!

Well...and I can't resist dropping one in restaurant drawings for a free meal when I run across them since he dearly loves food!!!

It's so HILARIOUS!! He goes into a "food daze" like I do when he walks into a restaurant. It goes like this: Your eyes glaze over, your nostrils dilate to take in all of the wonderful aromas and you start to get a food "high." So then, dreamily, you let the host/hostess lead you to a table while you float behind...walking on air and slipping into the "food zone"...

Ahhhhhh.......sweeeeeeeeet fooooooooooood!!! (Insert drooling food Smiley here! If it looks like Homer Simpson...even better!)

Now that I remembered it...yeah...Homer is a good example of this when he gets that "look" after hearing about an item of food, LOL! (I don't drool that much, though.)

Quote
Quote
Quote:
I think he is gay, though. I don't know what it means when a gay man looks at a "hetero" woman a lot, though.



It means you now have the best friend a single woman can have: a guy you can relax around without worrying how you look or whether he's gonna hit on you, and who doesn't compete with you for the same dates.


LOL!! Awwwww!!! But he is allowed to view "eye candy" with you and giggle with you until tears are streaming down both of your faces? That sounds like fun!!

We'll see what happens, LOL!! I don't think we can hang out as buds until I graduate, though. I'm not exactly sure of policy on that but I think that's in there.

And, yeah, I'm not 100% sure that he is gay but I'm "pretty" sure, KWIM?

wink

Which means I really WON'T have to worry about that irritating man/woman thing, LOL!!

Charlotte







Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 05:44 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Quote
when a gay man looks at a "hetero" woman a lot, though.

It means he is a man who appreciates quality and beauty...just like any other human.

Awwwwwwwwwwww... blush

Thank you!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 05:45 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Quote
It's just funny because he will be talking and he looks at me a lot and then other students look at me and I'm like...huh? What? What did I do? (No, I don't really say anything but I have noticed it happening.)

Yanno...my first thought would be to check my zipper or make certain I didn't have spinach in my front teeth....

But...that's me...

grin<---we KNOW Char has no spinach in THOSE teeth!

rotflmao

Nope! I had no spinach for breakfast!! Heck, I had NO breakfast!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 05:49 PM
The electric company called today to say they were going to fix the meter box today instead of tomorrow!!!

hurray hurray hurray

So by the time I leave my grandma's today...everything should be copacetic!!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

hurray hurray hurray

kiss


Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 05:51 PM
Well, it's good to know your home won't be burning down.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 06:21 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, it's good to know your home won't be burning down.

That's ALWAYS a good thing!
Posted By: cinderella Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 06:59 PM
Oh, yeah! That is REALLY GOOD!!!!

There are some times when you do not want to have a 'hot time'.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 08:25 PM
DM, this is going to seem like a weird question... grin... but do you plan on staying in the marital home once everything is finalized?

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 08:30 PM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Originally Posted by cinderella
Well, it's good to know your home won't be burning down.

That's ALWAYS a good thing!

Heck yeah!!! grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 08:31 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Oh, yeah! That is REALLY GOOD!!!!

There are some times when you do not want to have a 'hot time'.

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 08:33 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
DM, this is going to seem like a weird question... grin... but do you plan on staying in the marital home once everything is finalized?

Hmmmm.....I don't know. It would be nice to be able to rent it out and rent something closer to the school to cut down on the commute...of course I would still have to commute to my grandma's but it seems like I'm in the Houston area more often than not these days, LOL! wink

It needs so much in the way of repair I don't know if I could rent it out, though.

It doesn't bother me at all to stay there, though. I thought it would, I really did. But it doesn't. I guess because it is MY house now. My sanctuary, LOL!

Charlotte
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 09:08 PM
Wellllll, I keep up with a certain little blog every now and then and it seems like a certain blogger has other ideas. You might want your IM to check this out for shiny. skeptical
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/14/09 11:10 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Wellllll, I keep up with a certain little blog every now and then and it seems like a certain blogger has other ideas. You might want your IM to check this out for shiny. skeptical

Hmmmm.....funny you should mention that. I was just telling Shiny in an email and Mom last night: I am going to check out a certain blogger that princess meggy keeps up with every now and then when I am at the office next time. I can't check from my own pc because this certain blogger watches ISP addresses.

rotflmao

Actually PL-T was supposed to be keeping up with this but to tell the truth, it really did slip my mind for a really long time. I didn't even think about it when she started her new job in November. It was just the other night I remembered it. I don't recall what made me remember it, though.

BUT...I DID have a dream that I was looking for something online and I found it. It wasn't the blog but another area this certain blogger frequents.

grin

Thanks for the heads-up! I'll likely drop-by Shiny's to check on that before belly dancing unless he is tied up in court and won't be there. Otherwise I will check it when I am there on Saturday.

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/15/09 05:26 AM
Well...the meter box is FIXED!!!

Yay!! One less thang!!!

I only have one thing to say about that:

hurray hurray hurray
Posted By: miriam123 Re: WOO! - 01/15/09 10:42 PM
OKay, I'm curious about the certain blogger...

But, I digress -

Glad the meter's fixed!!!


These next paragraphs are cross-posted, part of my last post to my thread - but wanted to let you know!!

So - Charlotte - and Brit's Brat - I fired off an email to Shiny this afternoon. Gave him a rundown on the case and asked him to respond with a "yes, I'll do a consult" or "no, but here's someone else you should talk to." If he doesn't by Monday, I'll call. I don't know if he reads emails in a timely way (some folks don't). I told him I had no objection to pursuing a divorce in the state where I'm resident AND pursuing another lawsuit (re: Princess Meggy's suggestion about breach of fiduciary responsibility to the corporation) in another.

Don't know for sure that I want to do that yet. But I have no objection, either. And I certainly DO want to hear what the options are. PrincessMeggy has pushed me on this - I went and read the state laws - and it looks to my uneducated eye that there is a possibility she's right (and her eye is MUCH more educated than mine is in this regard.)

My state-of-residence is pretty much an "equitable division" state - even in the case of adultery it MIGHT go from 50-50 to 60-40 - and WH lost me $5.5M contract and has driven the company to the brink of bankruptcy, and me along with it. Somehow, 60-40 of the home, belongings, etc., just doesn't seem like its gonna get it.


- anyway, DM, Brit's Brat, et al - thanks for the referral. I'm looking forward to hearing from him. I'm even more hoping to meet him, given all of your cheerleading and descriptions, DM!!!
I'll let you know!

- M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/16/09 07:41 AM
Originally Posted by miriam123
OKay, I'm curious about the certain blogger...

But, I digress -

Glad the meter's fixed!!!


These next paragraphs are cross-posted, part of my last post to my thread - but wanted to let you know!!

So - Charlotte - and Brit's Brat - I fired off an email to Shiny this afternoon. Gave him a rundown on the case and asked him to respond with a "yes, I'll do a consult" or "no, but here's someone else you should talk to." If he doesn't by Monday, I'll call. I don't know if he reads emails in a timely way (some folks don't). I told him I had no objection to pursuing a divorce in the state where I'm resident AND pursuing another lawsuit (re: Princess Meggy's suggestion about breach of fiduciary responsibility to the corporation) in another.

Don't know for sure that I want to do that yet. But I have no objection, either. And I certainly DO want to hear what the options are. PrincessMeggy has pushed me on this - I went and read the state laws - and it looks to my uneducated eye that there is a possibility she's right (and her eye is MUCH more educated than mine is in this regard.)

My state-of-residence is pretty much an "equitable division" state - even in the case of adultery it MIGHT go from 50-50 to 60-40 - and WH lost me $5.5M contract and has driven the company to the brink of bankruptcy, and me along with it. Somehow, 60-40 of the home, belongings, etc., just doesn't seem like its gonna get it.


- anyway, DM, Brit's Brat, et al - thanks for the referral. I'm looking forward to hearing from him. I'm even more hoping to meet him, given all of your cheerleading and descriptions, DM!!!
I'll let you know!

- M

LOL, miriam!

Oh, it's nobody special. Just your garden variety alien! wink

Cool, I will let Shiny know about your email. I sure hope you get to pick his brain. He is super smart. And NOT just because he is an attorney, LOL! wink

Yeah, you want to meet him. Trust me. wink

Talk to you later!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/16/09 07:57 AM
I actually made it to class tonight! Felt good to get back in the groove! Ha ha...no pun intended!

I viewed the certain blogger in question at Shiny's thanks to princess meggy. Yeah, he talks a lot of crap. What he THINKS and what is REALITY are two different animals. No surprise there, eh?

I opened it up on Shiny's pc for him and shrank the window so he can read it when he has more time. It is good fodder for him to read and absorb...get more into the mind of the enemy, KWIM?

Today Shiny received a fax from the Dark Side. It seems that Gray's attorney cannot make it for the trial and wants to push it back a week. Or forward a week...which is correct? crazy

Okay, the date he wants is a week later than the set date.

So we may be a week later than planned.

Baby Attorney was in today. And PL-T stopped in to borrow the internet because her daughter picked up a virus and crashed her laptop!! Yikes!!!

Well, I have one more thing to do before bed so I'd better get it done!!

Charlotte





Posted By: miriam123 Re: WOO! - 01/16/09 03:54 PM
Charlotte -

You sound good. You jus' keep on dancin', girl....

dance2

- M
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: WOO! - 01/17/09 12:40 AM
Originally Posted by miriam123
Charlotte -

You sound good. You jus' keep on dancin', girl....

dance2

- M

Thank you! Yeah, not too shabby. I had a contractor out today to view the damage. Will probably cost $20,000 for everything so Shiny will sure be a happy camper about that, LOL!!

My sister said my Mom gets so MAD at Gray! I just said...well...what's the point in getting mad, really? He's only making himself look bad. If he's too stupid to realize that then that's his folly, eh?

grin

Posted By: Dancing_Machine OWH Report - 01/20/09 01:29 AM
Well, it's no dice for OWH. The puppet wouldn't give an inch. It seems her master has trained her quite well.

So that means:

SCORCHED EARTH PART II!!

Coming in March to a courtroom near you!!!

grin

In other news:

Tomorrow is Shiny's birthday!!

I gave him his present Saturday after the round table meeting. LOL!

I found this way cool place in December that does engraving and also makes plaques. So I ordered one with his name, Attorney at Law, and the Scales of Justice. Really, I wanted to put: Super Attorney Extraordinaire!! But there was no room!! Darn!!

It's about 2'x 1/2 a foot or so. And I picked the right stain for it from memory! WOO-HOOOOOOOO!!!

He LOVED it!! I told him he could hang it on the front door but he doesn't want it to get weathered. All that's out there now is a metal sign. It's pretty nondescript. You would never guess at the power just by seeing the facade.

But that's good. It tricks the enemy and keeps them on their toes!!! Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: OWH Report - 01/20/09 05:56 AM
THREAD JACK!!!

For those of you not familiar with ChaiLover's thread, "WH filed for divorce", please check out the last several posts. She is facing the eminent crisis of providing care for her addict-daughter's newborn. This is a new crisis in Chai's live and she could really use some help. As the mother of a grown woman, she has nothing, REPEAT - NOTHING for this baby...no bed, clothes, food, bottles. There is talk about a cyber-shower for our friend.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: OWH Report - 01/20/09 06:07 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
THREAD JACK!!!

For those of you not familiar with ChaiLover's thread, "WH filed for divorce", please check out the last several posts. She is facing the eminent crisis of providing care for her addict-daughter's newborn. This is a new crisis in Chai's live and she could really use some help. As the mother of a grown woman, she has nothing, REPEAT - NOTHING for this baby...no bed, clothes, food, bottles. There is talk about a cyber-shower for our friend.

Yeah, barbiecat posted her contact info earlier for those who want to get on the guest list.

Sign on up, Peoples!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/28/09 07:15 PM
Okay, I guess I should title this one:

"No Way to Run a Railroad"

I had a contractor out for estimates nearly 2 weeks ago. He said he didn't normally WORK on houses like mine but that he would have the estimates ready in a week. He even said he would do an estimate both on the Hardy Plank siding and the regular.

Okay. A week goes by. Nothing. So I called him last Friday and he told me he would have the estimates ready by Tuesday and meet me so I could get them from him. I told him I had class all day and would like to get them in the a.m. if possible.

So I called in the a.m. yesterday. Nothing. Called his wife, too, since she is 1/2 owner. Nothing.

Called during break. Called between classes.

Nothing nothing nothing.

Called this a.m. Nothing. So I called the people who referred them, the same people who fixed the meter box. They were nice enough to call him for me.

Supposedly he is supposed to call me today before 5.

I already called Shiny and talked to him about what was up, then again to leave a message a few minutes ago.

This is information that needs to go to oc TODAY. And the contractor knows how important this is.

But does he have the balls to call me? NO. I am getting the runaround. Why not just tell me this on Friday? At least I could have gotten someone else to do estimates for me, or at least TRIED to get someone else to do them, you know? But he freakin' sat on the phone Friday and LIED to me, saying he would have this ready for me yesterday.

This really p*sses me off!! On the last message I left with the contractor I even said I would pay WHATEVER just to get a ballpark of whatever he has finished, if ANYTHING!!

Why do people do this sh*t???!!!!

This is a small town. I bet you can guess who will NOT be getting any referrals from me.

This is just ridiculous!!

So I am giving it until 2 p.m. and then I need to take Shiny what I DO have--the info from the school and info Mom picked up on the fly from the vet.

Gray thinks I owe him $15,000 in vet & feed bills. I am still LMAO about THAT one!

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/28/09 07:59 PM
Got a Better Business Bureau in your county/town? Chamber of Commerce? I know the state would have a consumer affairs section. Even if they don't do anything, you can report him and be a(nother) blemish on his (un)spotted record.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/29/09 04:46 AM
Well, I'm back.

I asked DIL if she would stay with my g'ma for a couple of hours but I had no idea there was so much to go over with Shiny.

So, cousin spelled her for me and when we were done going over financials I stayed and helped get the exhibits ready for trial.

Now they are ready to rock-n-roll! All 24 of them!!

Never did get a call from the contractor. Yeah, even contractors like to gaslight people, apparently. It will be okay, though.

I am not worried about it. Shiny is not worried about it. He included the list I made back in December instead. It doesn't have prices but it has repairs that are needed. Plus we have the PowerPoint with all of the pictures.

It was really sweet of Shiny to let me help with my case so much. It saved me (well, really Mom at this point, since she's been paying my Shiny bill, LOL!)--a LOT of money and everyone is well-versed with the material.

It's all good!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/29/09 04:50 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Got a Better Business Bureau in your county/town? Chamber of Commerce? I know the state would have a consumer affairs section. Even if they don't do anything, you can report him and be a(nother) blemish on his (un)spotted record.

Thanks, cinder.

I don't know but it's a small town. He won't be getting any referrals from me. I'm sure that the people who referred him aren't happy about this either. That is not going to help his business.

I may call one more time and let him/them know that I was really disappointed and hurt about this. Or maybe I'll write a letter. It's not like I was asking for the moon, after all. Just some figures.

Really, if I wanted to be a jerk, I could have asked Shiny to subpoena him. It would only have cost me $100. But that's okay. Best to let sleeping dogs lie and LYING dogs will have their day! (LOL! If you don't mind my skewering a few famous anecdotes/sayings/ditties/etc.)

Charlotte
Posted By: cinderella Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/29/09 03:06 PM
I can do some nice PowerPoint stuff. If you ever need help, let me know.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 12:56 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I can do some nice PowerPoint stuff. If you ever need help, let me know.

Awwww....thanks! I appreciate that!!

I didn't make this one too fancy-schmancy with a lot of gew-gaws, though. I just did a basic, neutral background with the photos, a short description and a single "wipe" for each slide that wasn't too flamboyant. (Though it was VERY tempting!!! But hey, Shiny is flamboyant enough, he doesn't need a lot of decoration!! Or any! LOL!)

I figured that would be best for court; a "just the facts, Ma'am" (well, "Sir," in our case) presentation for the court.

Last night Shiny said he wants to hammer Gray.

whistle Me, at home later, digging in the toolbox... whistle I know I have at least three hammers in here...... whistle ....OOH!! And I KNOW there are at least 10 at my grandma's, including a sledgehammer!!! Wait! TWO sledgehammers!! (One is REALLY big!) whistle

Ahhh...but Shiny is a hammer unto himself...the Hammer of God...

grin

Here is how it will be:

Me: flirt

Shiny: grin cool

Gray (and Slag, I'm sure): :RollieEyes:

Then:

Shiny vs. Gray:

Shiny: mad Gray: uhuh ...then:

Shiny: naughty rant2 mad mad mad

:twobyfour:
uhuh

:twobyfour:
dontknow

:twobyfour:
crazy

:twobyfour:
:crosseyedcrazy:

:twobyfour:
sick

:twobyfour:
faint

Me: wink

Slag: :RollieEyes: sigh think shocked :MrEEk: TEEF crazy :crosseyedcrazy: sick faint cry pray

Me: wink

Yeah, your next, Slag! stickout whistle

Palpitine: grumble faint

Shiny: cool WAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY cool

Me: wink hug kiss

Gray: redflag (But it will be white--and where is that "smiley on the stretcher? LOL!)

Me: hurray hurray hurray dance2 dance2 dance2 laugh laugh laugh

Shiny: laugh laugh laugh

OWH: laugh laugh laugh

Gray: puke puke puke

Slag: puke puke puke

Palpitine: puke puke puke (That's IT!! I'm retiring!! I don't EVER want to run into the Big Italian again EVER...ANYWHERE!!!!)

flirt



















Posted By: not2fun Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 01:12 AM
Char.....


YOU ARE THE WOMAN.....

Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH for....well, for just being you......

I always know that if I need some "uplifting", where to come......

Now if only you could send me one of your famous chocolate concoctions....... lashes


hug kiss hug

to the greatest person I know......


not2fun
Posted By: SIHW Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 01:34 AM
I LOVE YOU CHAR!!!!!!!

you crack me up.
Posted By: cinderella Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 04:56 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
--and where is that "smiley on the stretcher? LOL!)



...rotflmao
___________
..O.....O

That is Gray writhing in pain and agony!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Hee hee heeeeeeeee!!!!!! - 01/30/09 06:43 AM
Okay!! Here it is!! I finished it!!! Now I just need to do the one for the "real" world, LOL!!

Shiny's TKO!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:02 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
--and where is that "smiley on the stretcher? LOL!)



...rotflmao
___________
..O.....O

That is Gray writhing in pain and agony!!!

LOVE it!!!

rotflmao

kiss

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:09 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
I LOVE YOU CHAR!!!!!!!

you crack me up.

Awwwwwwww........

Thanks!!!!

kiss

hug
Posted By: cinderella Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:18 PM
dance2 dance2dance2 dance2dance2 dance2dance2dance2
..... dance2All The Ladies On The Floor For This Special Song!!! dance2
dance2dance2 dance2dance2 dance2dance2 dance2dance2
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:25 PM
Originally Posted by not2fun
Char.....


YOU ARE THE WOMAN.....

Thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH for....well, for just being you......

I always know that if I need some "uplifting", where to come......

Now if only you could send me one of your famous chocolate concoctions....... lashes


hug kiss hug

to the greatest person I know......


not2fun

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.....!!!!!!

Thank you, not2!!!

hug kiss hug

hug kiss hug

Hmmmm..... think

My chocolate concoctions, eh? whistle

I'll think about it!! wink

And I'll send you a picture when I sculpt a bust of Shiny in chocolate. This will be a bit more challenging than the pumpkin carving...I already knew how to do that!! grin

Ooh! We made some KILLER pralines the other day!! Want the recipe?

I have it at home if you do. I am at my grandma's now so I can post it later on.

Yeah, if you had told me on June 28, 2007 that I would be making a poster INVITING people to my divorce trial...I'da said, "Yer nuts!!" (Well, I probably wouldn't have said it on that day, I was too freaked out.)

I'll have to make one for OWH's, too. Haven't heard a peep from him lately!!

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles with WS. You have to follow your heart on that. For me, being in B was a balm but I still had trickles of news from DIL and XW (coupled with all of the INSANE eBay purchasing!) and the more I heard, the less I liked him. So for me, getting into the divorce in bare feet and with enthusiasm was the right thing. I don't even think I want to be friends with him now after he & Slag get divorced. He is just NOT a healthy individual!!

Sometimes I just want to say: HELLO??!! You have OCD!! See a doctor!!

But that's not my job anymore and that doesn't bother me one bit. He made his bed and he can lie in it and lie in it. Ha ha!! He WILL be writhing in pain in it after February 10th...and even MORE so after March 23rd!!!

WOO-HOOOOOOOO!!

Oh yeah, that reminds me, I need to drop some Goddess Wear off at the cleaners...thanks for the reminder!! wink

Love, kisses, and TONS of hugs!!!

Charlotte



Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:28 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella

LMAO!!! WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

For a minute there...I thought I would be hearing strains of Cyndi Lauper when I clicked on the link...LOL!!

wink

ETA: Yeah, I like Dancing Queen. It always reminds me of Art Bell, though. He used to use that song for his bumper music a lot.
Posted By: cinderella Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/30/09 06:57 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine


dance2 ..... lashes .....dance2 ..... lashes ..... dance2 .....lashes .....dance2
lashes [i]Maybe Charlotte & Cinderella Are Sisters!!![/i] lashes
Posted By: Dancing_Machine ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/30/09 07:01 PM
OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I forgot to report this:

The other night when we were getting the trial exhibits ready, I had to print out the rest of Gray's eBay purchases for that exhibit.

I went to Slag's and she has more, too. Guess what she bought?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

She bought an ex-wife voodoo doll!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Boy, oh BOY!! They are getting desperate, aren't they?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah, well, I already have protection against that, so no worries!!

I'm going to have to keep an eye out for Shiny and OWH now, though...just in case she/he/they buy a divorce attorney voodoo doll and an ex-husband voodoo doll!!

Shiny still has the talisman of protection I gave him last year before the hearing in May, but I need to make one for OWH!!

Yippppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

They are running scared, Baby!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/30/09 08:39 PM
Just talked to XW about that voodoo doll.

She's wondering which one of us it's going to be used for.

rotflmao

Well, they can probably use it for both of us...but I'm guessing ME...since I'm the one who hired Shiny!!

rotflmao

All I can say to that is:

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!! Step right up!!"

rotflmao



Posted By: Pepperband Re: ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/30/09 11:30 PM
LOVED THAT !
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/30/09 11:41 PM
She so craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazay!! rotflmao

Charlotte, why don't you get a HoBag voo-doo doll??
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 01:05 AM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
LOVED THAT !

Thank you!!

kiss

Yeah, I had a lot of fun with that one!!

grin
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 01:07 AM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
She so craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazay!! rotflmao

Charlotte, why don't you get a HoBag voo-doo doll??

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

A HoBag voodoo doll!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

yeah, and it's gotta be off of eBay, too...you KNOW they're looking!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OWH said: "Their voodoo is poo-poo. Not worth doo-doo."

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 01:10 AM
Mom just got served!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I invited the lady in. She was SO nice!!

Drove all the way from Clear Lake, too.

We were talking about her daughter...she takes care of her MIL who has Alzheimer's. My grandma doesn't have that, just mild dementia at this point.

I told her, "Yeah, they were served the other day. Gray and Slag."

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

She laughed!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 03:21 AM
Well, I found out that little accident I had the other night caused a bit more damage than expected.

Destroyed the wheel and the tire but it also bent the subframe. So the car has to go into the shop and I have to drive rickety truck for a while. Dang! It's hard to carry my equipment in there! And hard to grab a quick nap between classes!

But hey! I'm not dead so I'm not going to complain!! Car COULD have flipped over!

Hmmmm.....you reckon that voodoo doll was involved?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 03:40 AM
I didn't realize you had a wreck.....sorry about that. I've had my fair share. I am VERY glad you are ok.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 04:15 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I didn't realize you had a wreck.....sorry about that. I've had my fair share. I am VERY glad you are ok.

Thank you!

Yeah, I meant to post about it but I forgot. And Shiny asks me if I was drinking!! LMAO!!

Heck no!! At least THEN I would have had an excuse!!

I took the 1st exit instead of my usual route on Tuesday night after class when I reached the city limits.

I went around a curve going about 20-25 m.p.h. The car started sliding...it was so fast I didn't have time to react and turn into the skid so all I could do was hang on!!

Gumbo flew everywhere!! Luckily it stayed in the bag, though!! LOL!!

Hit the curb line and smashed the heck out of the tire & wheel since it hit tire first. I didn't know about the other damage until today when cousin came over from his shop to change the tire.

Luckily the car went on top of the curb line and didn't hit it and flip over, though. That would have been bad and I would have lost all the gumbo then for sure!! wink

The curb line is one of those islands in the middle of the road, a fancy thing they put in to spruce it up a little around here. No other cars were around, another blessing!!

And I was able to drive to my grandma's before the tire was completely flat so that was another blessing because I was SO TIRED after stacked labs Monday and back-to-back lab & regular class Tuesday!!

So yeah, coulda been worse!!

Car took a beating but she protected me, bless her heart!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 04:22 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Car took a beating but she protected me, bless her heart!!

A car is nothing but metal, plastic, and glass. It is replacable. You, however, are so much more valuable. Glad we still have you around!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 04:34 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Car took a beating but she protected me, bless her heart!!

A car is nothing but metal, plastic, and glass. It is replacable. You, however, are so much more valuable. Glad we still have you around!

Thanks!! Me too!

And I sure as heck don't want to miss the upcoming trials!!

rotflmao

flirt
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 03:32 PM
Quote
Originally Posted By: MelodyLaneThe problem with Da NUGE is that he loves freedom! He is one sick cookie!

YOU know Da NUGE???!!!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cool!!

Hmmmmmmmm........

What other secrets you keepin' from me?



Oh yeah, bit o' trivia:

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeears ago, the chick that later married my uncle...who passed in 2000...dated The Nuge for a short period of time. Just a short period of time, though. I never did hear the reason why she didn't continue to date him. LMAO!!

Don't know him, but I love him! hurray
Posted By: not2fun Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/31/09 03:45 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Ooh! We made some KILLER pralines the other day!! Want the recipe?


OF COURSE I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....

and you must post pics of the chocolate bust...... blush

Sorry to hear about the accident, glad to hear you are okay.....

Sounds like the kind of accident I would get in......In our old condo that we lived in, we had assigned parking spaces and next to ours was a fire hydrant. I hit that dang thing ALL the time....it would tick my H off something bad. The LAST time I hit it, I had turned the wheel so hard that the thingy that comes out the side, went INTO my tire. My front fender was OFF the ground..... shocked. H didn't talk to me for 2 days...... mad. He never could understand how I kept hitting it....I couldn't understand why it kept getting in my way????..... crazy


not2fun

ps....you all better what it with those emoticons....you might get in some sorta trouble with the emoton-police...... rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 11:45 PM
Quote
Don't know him, but I love him!

hurray

grin
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 11:50 PM
Mel -

Not -

you have totally confoozled me.....


Nuge?

quote about pralines?

quote about the chocolate bust?




WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? WHAT HAVE I MISSED? I'M IN DISTRESS!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: VENT!! Ohhhh....I gotta!!! - 01/31/09 11:54 PM
Originally Posted by not2fun
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Ooh! We made some KILLER pralines the other day!! Want the recipe?


Quote
OF COURSE I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.....


pending...

Quote
and you must post pics of the chocolate bust...... blush


wink grin I sure will whenever I get to do it!! I don't know WHAT he'll do with it...he LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVES chocolate but he won't want to eat it, LOL!! With the pumpkin I just got one of the "Funkins" for carving so it would be permanent.

Quote
Sorry to hear about the accident, glad to hear you are okay.....


Thank you! Me too! Now I have to drive purple truck for a while but I don't want to complain too much about it since ol' purple got me to OWH back on 10/30/07 for Exposure! With the devil trying to stop me and everything!! faint Yeah, STILL trippin' on THAT!! Well, now I won't have "Sexy Goddess Car" for court but that's okay, I'm riding with Shiny anyway!!

Quote
Sounds like the kind of accident I would get in......In our old condo that we lived in, we had assigned parking spaces and next to ours was a fire hydrant. I hit that dang thing ALL the time....it would tick my H off something bad. The LAST time I hit it, I had turned the wheel so hard that the thingy that comes out the side, went INTO my tire. My front fender was OFF the ground..... shocked. H didn't talk to me for 2 days...... mad. He never could understand how I kept hitting it....I couldn't understand why it kept getting in my way????..... crazy


not2fun


rotflmao Dang fire hydrants & slick streets!! Well, at least most of the gumbo stayed put in the containers...coulda been worse!!! rotflmao

Quote
ps....you all better what it with those emoticons....you might get in some sorta trouble with the emoton-police...... rotflmao rotflmao


rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 01/31/09 11:56 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Mel -

Not -

you have totally confoozled me.....


Nuge?

quote about pralines?

quote about the chocolate bust?




WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM? WHAT HAVE I MISSED? I'M IN DISTRESS!!!

Ted Nugent, pralines and chocolate busts...

Yep! Never a dull moment on MB!!!

wink
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 12:03 AM
my neighbor had a dog named Nugent...after Ted.

I see, the chocolate bust is a candy confection pending for Shiny.

And, if you don't post the praline recipe, one of us will hunt you down and dull all your knives.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 12:18 AM
Pralines

1 1/2 sticks unsalted butter
1 c sugar
1 c, packed, light brown sugar
1/2 heavy cream
1 c milk
1 c chopped pecans
2 c pecan halves
2 tbsps. vanilla extract

Get all ingredients & utensils ready (a.k.a. "mise en place") before you begin. Use a large pot with a heavy bottom or a skillet with deep sides, metal whisk or spoon with a long handle, 2 large spoons or ice cream scoops & a cookie sheet (lightly buttered).

Melt butter in pot over high heat (careful, you know how delicate butter is so no browning!!). As soon as it's melted add the sugars and cream. Cook for 1 minute, whisking constantly. Add the milk and chopped pecans and cook 4 minutes more, whisking constantly. Reduce heat to medium--continue cooking & whisking 5 minutes. Add pecan halves & vanilla--continue cooking & whisking until done, about 15-20 minutes. If mixture starts to smoke near the end of cooking, reduce heat.

Remove pan from heat. Quickly & carefully drop the batter onto the cookie sheet by heaping spoonfuls, using second spoon to scrape batter off of the first (just like you do when making certain cookies) or use ice cream scoop. Each praline should form a 2-inch patty about 1/2 inch thick. Cool & store in airtight container or wrap each praline in plastic wrap or foil.

*NOTE

*For judging doneness-candy thermometer should read 240 degrees.

*Batter will begin to form distinct threads on sides or bottom of pan when done.

*Near the end of cooking time, make a test praline every few seconds. The testers will be somewhat runny, very shiny and somewhat translucent. The ideal praline will have progressed past that stage it will not be runny and will be less shiny (and what's so great about being LESS shiny? says I! wink ) and when cooled it will be opaque, lusterless and crumbly instead of chewy.

*Near the end of cooking time, drizzle spoonfuls of the mixture across the surface of the mixture, When ready, the mixture will form a neat thread across the surface.

Yum-diddley-yum-yum!!

wink
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 12:19 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
my neighbor had a dog named Nugent...after Ted.

I see, the chocolate bust is a candy confection pending for Shiny.

And, if you don't post the praline recipe, one of us will hunt you down and dull all your knives.

1. Awwww....a doggy named Nugent!!

2. Yep!! For Shiny OF Shiny!

3. LOL!! Done and DONE!!

Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 12:33 AM
We didn't care for the dog

The bust is to be of Shiny....way better than what I thought you meant.

And Thanks for the recipe.

For tomorrow night's Super Bowl Party (GO CARDINALS!!!), I have to take a dessert. I thought cookies would be a good choice. Got any handy, easy, quick cookie recipes?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 12:53 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
We didn't care for the dog

The bust is to be of Shiny....way better than what I thought you meant.

And Thanks for the recipe.

For tomorrow night's Super Bowl Party (GO CARDINALS!!!), I have to take a dessert. I thought cookies would be a good choice. Got any handy, easy, quick cookie recipes?

1. Awwwww....poor doggy!! frown

2. Okay...I don't know what you thought I meant but do I WANT to know what you thought I meant? LMAO!!

3. You're welcome!

4. Mmmmmmmmm.......chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies are always good. And fast! I have a recipe for chocolate-chip cookies that we made in class (no oatmeal) but I think the cookies come out too dry with that recipe. Could be a marketing ploy, though...we had to do those for Production and they sell them in the deli. Might be that the recipe makes dry cookies so the deli sells more milk. LOL!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 01:03 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
2. Okay...I don't know what you thought I meant but do I WANT to know what you thought I meant? LMAO!! was picturing some chocolate creation of female pectoral region and thought that just couldn't be right



4. Mmmmmmmmm.......chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies are always good. And fast! I have a recipe for chocolate-chip cookies that we made in class (no oatmeal) but I think the cookies come out too dry with that recipe. Could be a marketing ploy, though...we had to do those for Production and they sell them in the deli. Might be that the recipe makes dry cookies so the deli sells more milk. LOL! I have a recipe for chocolate chip oatmeal cookies that I love....don't make very often. The dough is actually so thick my mixer won't add everything in. They aren't actually too hard to make. For softer cookies, try turning down the oven a bit and undercooking by a minute or two. Sometimes that works

I have a super easy cookie recipe I'll share:

LEMON COOLERS

Lemon supreme cake mix (dry)
1 egg
1 regular-sized package of whipped topping (think - Cool Whip)
confectioners sugar

Mix cake mix, whipped topping, and egg in bowl by hand......drop by teaspoons in confectioners sugar. Roll into 1-inch balls. Bake at 350 for about 10 minutes....do not let brown but do let get firmish and cool a bit on cookie sheet before removing.

They are sweet but tart.

You can also use a chocolate cake mix rolled in confectioner's sugar. Or a yellow or spice cake mix rolled in cinnamon & sugar. I bet cherry cake mix would be good.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 01:54 AM
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Head in the gutter! Head in the gutter!

That was hilarious!!

No. Just a bust: his head and part of his shoulders. Am I using the correct term here? It's what I've always heard, anyway!! Like, I have a bust of Beethoven in my living room. (Yeah, I really do, and Gray is NOT getting THAT!!)

I COULD do what you are speaking of, though. It would have to be a full model. He works out, though, so it would take a LOT of chocolate for sculpting!! Unless I scaled down a bit.

Oh, I didn't make those cookies. We each had a task and NO ONE wanted to do bread...(chickens!!) so I did bread the first day of class and again the other day. Little Red Mike made the cookies and Chef sets the oven. I haven't tried the recipe at home but the other day someone had to make more cookies for production again and they were just as dry as before. The peanut butter cookies, too.

Oh thanks! More lemon recipes for the lemon tree!! WOO!! Oh wait, we don't add lemons...well, we'll make lemon icing with the lemons then!! wink
Posted By: not2fun Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 02:54 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
[quote=Dancing_Machine]

2. Okay...I don't know what you thought I meant but do I WANT to know what you thought I meant? LMAO!! was picturing some chocolate creation of female pectoral region and thought that just couldn't be right

think think think


Bet Shiny would like Cinders version better........ blush shocked blush


rotflmao rotflmao


not2fun

ps...do we a "bust-a-con" for this convo????
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 03:48 AM
YOU KNOW what i miss i can't find ANYWHERE anymore. Dremery coney Island waffle cone sundae Ice cream....it was soooo good with little chocolate covered pieced of waffle cone goodness.....*sigh*


on a good note the kitty socialization is going well...I have been taking my bengal everywhere with me....i taker her soft sided carrier that looks like a purse (i have NEVER been a purse girl) and make sure her harness and leash are on and she gets so many compliments eveyone loves her...she is starting to love the attention. She is sooo much better than a small dog in my book. My little wild thing.

Hey char is gray allergic to cats....you could take her into court as your wrap (she will lay across your shoulders). She has cute leopard spotties and a gorgeous pelt. She has gold highlights that shimmer in the light...gives the wearer a glow.....she would look gorgeous on you. The walk by huim and pet her as you do to make some fur fly....then if he is allergic he can sneeze all throught the precedings.

SO Wanna borrow my cat?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 04:36 AM
Kitty!!!

I love kitties!

I can live with some of them...I have two. A black and a calico. If I'm knitting, the calico is in my lap. Silly kitty!

SIHW - your cat sounds beautiful





More cookie ideas:


You know those wonderful Rice Krispy Treats? I have a fabulous variation!

Make them with Cheerios. Add about 1/2 cup peanut butter and about 1/2 - 3/4 cup dried fruit. I am partial to an apricot/cranberry combination.
Posted By: not2fun Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 04:37 AM
OMG.....all this talk about "busts" and what-not reminded me of this story.....

My WH assistant quit and he's been interviewing for a replacement. A lady came in and the interview was wrapping up and WH asked her if she had any hobbies.

WELL......She proceeded to tell him how she has a little business on the side where she makes "boobie" cakes and penis cookies.... blush

My poor WH couldn't help but laugh. He said he would have bet a MILLION dollars he would have never heard either of those words in an INTERVIEW.... shocked

So, Char, how about that???....Does Texas need a nether-regions baker???? flirt

According to this lady, there is a GREAT demand for them...... rotflmao rotflmao


not2fun
Posted By: cinderella Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 04:40 AM
Who was it who posted that women wouldn't be totally happy until men had chocolate penises which spewed money?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 04:40 AM
blush
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 05:08 AM
Originally Posted by not2fun
Originally Posted by cinderella
[quote=Dancing_Machine]

2. Okay...I don't know what you thought I meant but do I WANT to know what you thought I meant? LMAO!! was picturing some chocolate creation of female pectoral region and thought that just couldn't be right

think think think


Bet Shiny would like Cinders version better........ blush shocked blush


rotflmao rotflmao


not2fun

ps...do we a "bust-a-con" for this convo????

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

No doudaboudit!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 05:10 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
YOU KNOW what i miss i can't find ANYWHERE anymore. Dremery coney Island waffle cone sundae Ice cream....it was soooo good with little chocolate covered pieced of waffle cone goodness.....*sigh*


on a good note the kitty socialization is going well...I have been taking my bengal everywhere with me....i taker her soft sided carrier that looks like a purse (i have NEVER been a purse girl) and make sure her harness and leash are on and she gets so many compliments eveyone loves her...she is starting to love the attention. She is sooo much better than a small dog in my book. My little wild thing.

Hey char is gray allergic to cats....you could take her into court as your wrap (she will lay across your shoulders). She has cute leopard spotties and a gorgeous pelt. She has gold highlights that shimmer in the light...gives the wearer a glow.....she would look gorgeous on you. The walk by huim and pet her as you do to make some fur fly....then if he is allergic he can sneeze all throught the precedings.

SO Wanna borrow my cat?

LMAO!! Heck yeah!!

He isn't allergic to cats but he HATES them with a passion! Well, except for Junior, this cat we (family & I) had before Gray & I tied the knot.

Junior was a baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadassssssssssssssssss kitty!!

Of course, I'm sure these days Gray would deny that he ever liked Junior.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 05:18 AM
Originally Posted by not2fun
OMG.....all this talk about "busts" and what-not reminded me of this story.....

My WH assistant quit and he's been interviewing for a replacement. A lady came in and the interview was wrapping up and WH asked her if she had any hobbies.

WELL......She proceeded to tell him how she has a little business on the side where she makes "boobie" cakes and penis cookies.... blush

My poor WH couldn't help but laugh. He said he would have bet a MILLION dollars he would have never heard either of those words in an INTERVIEW.... shocked

So, Char, how about that???....Does Texas need a nether-regions baker???? flirt

According to this lady, there is a GREAT demand for them...... rotflmao rotflmao


not2fun

OMG!! That is SO hilarious!!!

Brings to mind another story. Early last year I brought my photo album of cakes in to show Shiny. I used to bake cakes as a side job, had a pretty good clientele built up, too. Until I moved out of town!

There are some in there that are boob cakes...even a couple with...errrrrr...well...both top and bottom. Female, though, no males. LOL!!

So Shiny says, "You know, there's a GREAT demand for cakes like those..."

rotflmao

He liked my KISS cakes a lot. All four members in full regalia. I did them freehand. Just their faces, though, not their costumes. This lady wanted them for her daughter's birthday. He says, "The 70's NEVER looked SO GOOD!"

rotflmao

And that's when he started bugging me about school in earnest, just like my sister!! :RollieEyes: (Sorry, rolly-eyed icons/smileys always make me think of her. LMAO! wink I like the one in Yahoo IM, that's a good one.)

Well, gee, I guess I'd better start advertising again, then. Hmmm....I don't have any penis cake pictures. Anyone need a penis cake?

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 05:20 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Who was it who posted that women wouldn't be totally happy until men had chocolate penises which spewed money?

I dunno. I'm not that crazy about chocolate. Or penises. Or money.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Ummmmmm......question.

Why isn't the word "penis" censored? Yet gutter is? :crosseyedcrazy:


rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: not2fun Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 05:35 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
blush


AWWWWWWWWW....quit your blush

we know you are REALLY..... flirt and quite possibly...... dance2

or maybe its more like.....

pray pray pray

(ya know I luvs ya..... ;))

not2fun
Posted By: not2fun Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 05:40 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Why isn't the word "penis" censored? Yet gutter is? :crosseyedcrazy:


rotflmao rotflmao

because those words don't need any [censored]-n-span......... rotflmao rotflmao


I was actually shocked when they went up without being sensored......but I was waiting for the Mods to get 'em........


not2fun
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 06:54 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
SIHW - your cat sounds beautiful





More cookie ideas:


You know those wonderful Rice Krispy Treats? I have a fabulous variation!

Make them with Cheerios. Add about 1/2 cup peanut butter and about 1/2 - 3/4 cup dried fruit. I am partial to an apricot/cranberry combination.


She has emerald green eyes and right now is being too curious for her own good....she has discovered cabinets and how to get on top of them *sigh* and then she gets stuck and yowls for help...this she has figured out in the last hour and a half or so. BRB have to get the cat down again....It's bad when you need child locks on you cabinets to keep your cat out of them and your 5 year old knows better.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 01:22 PM
My black cat has emerald green eyes. She is properly named as Calla means 'beautiful'. She is a rescue kitty and, as a kitten, her tail was broken so the shelter from which we got her had to amputate the detached portion. She is the sweetest, softest girl! Very petite and silky. The calico has yellowish green eyes. Her hair is more plush. Her body is more plush. She is much more friendly and vocal. You can find photos of both cats - and my dog - on my flickr account. My name there is bnanative.

Meanwhile, SHALL I TAKE UP ANATOMICALLY CORRECT KNITTING?
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 05:19 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
My black cat has emerald green eyes. She is properly named as Calla means 'beautiful'. She is a rescue kitty and, as a kitten, her tail was broken so the shelter from which we got her had to amputate the detached portion. She is the sweetest, softest girl! Very petite and silky. The calico has yellowish green eyes. Her hair is more plush. Her body is more plush. She is much more friendly and vocal. You can find photos of both cats - and my dog - on my flickr account. My name there is bnanative.

Meanwhile, SHALL I TAKE UP ANATOMICALLY CORRECT KNITTING?


flickr.....hmmm don't use that...cinders are you on facebook at all?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Pralines, Baby!! - 02/01/09 07:40 PM
Originally Posted by not2fun
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Why isn't the word "penis" censored? Yet gutter is? :crosseyedcrazy:


rotflmao rotflmao

because those words don't need any [censored]-n-span......... rotflmao rotflmao


I was actually shocked when they went up without being sensored......but I was waiting for the Mods to get 'em........


not2fun

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 07:41 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by cinderella
SIHW - your cat sounds beautiful





More cookie ideas:


You know those wonderful Rice Krispy Treats? I have a fabulous variation!

Make them with Cheerios. Add about 1/2 cup peanut butter and about 1/2 - 3/4 cup dried fruit. I am partial to an apricot/cranberry combination.


She has emerald green eyes and right now is being too curious for her own good....she has discovered cabinets and how to get on top of them *sigh* and then she gets stuck and yowls for help...this she has figured out in the last hour and a half or so. BRB have to get the cat down again....It's bad when you need child locks on you cabinets to keep your cat out of them and your 5 year old knows better.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! How CUTE!!!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 07:44 PM
Quote
Meanwhile, SHALL I TAKE UP ANATOMICALLY CORRECT KNITTING?

YES!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

And:

Awwwwww!! I need to go check your babies out if this goofy lt will let me!! When there are a lot of gewgaws on a site it really uses up my resources. Drives me nuts on Photobucket!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 08:01 PM
Okay, okay!!

You talked me into it, LOL!!

Here it is:

Shiny's Pumpkin

A little background:

I started doing these several years ago because I thought they looked SO COOL!! So I learned how.

I do at least one every year...during the previous election I did two because I did one for Halloween and one for Election Day (2004). I didn't do one AT ALL in 2007 because the day before Halloween was Exposure Day!!

My very first one was The Creature from the Black Lagoon. I still have pics of him on my old lt that I'm hoping to be able to retrieve. Ooh! His fishy lips came out and everything!!

After a couple of years I was ready to do my own patterns so I did a pumpkin with my nieces when they were 2 years old on one side and my Mom's dog (my doggy sister, LOL!) ******, on the other. I need to post those, I actually have them on THIS lt.

So last year I had to make a good comeback so I did Shiny on a pumpkin. The photo is from the photo shoot so he looks all serious and stuff. Also, his hair is short. It's really long again now, he's been growing it back out. Not as long as OWH's, though!! LOL!! Yet! I guess both of them will have to wear ponytails soon.

It took longer to do the pattern than the pumpkin. With the pattern you have to manipulate it a bit so if someone has really light eyebrows, for instance, they will come out properly when you carve your pumpkin.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/01/09 09:28 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Quote
Meanwhile, SHALL I TAKE UP ANATOMICALLY CORRECT KNITTING?

YES!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

And:

Awwwwww!! I need to go check your babies out if this goofy lt will let me!! When there are a lot of gewgaws on a site it really uses up my resources. Drives me nuts on Photobucket!!

i have a link to the photobucket account in the dating after divorce thread.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 04:32 AM
Calla

Zoe at Christmas

Zoe in spring

Cookie is intelligent

Cookie waits for affection

Prince CatLover and Princess TalksWithHerHands

I'll make it easier for you to find things.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 04:34 AM

wow your calla looks just like my Isis I had...i miss her so much.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 04:41 AM
Calla is adorable. She is the sweetest little thing you ever saw. Weighs nothing compared to Cookie. She's as silky as Cookie is plush. She won't let you touch her unless she is in the mood.

The dog was a seriously neglected baby until she was 8 months old. We got her 2 months later. She is the friendliest, shaggiest, most loving 30-pounder you ever met....part blue heeler/part terrier.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 04:43 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Calla is adorable. She is the sweetest little thing you ever saw. Weighs nothing compared to Cookie. She's as silky as Cookie is plush. She won't let you touch her unless she is in the mood.

The dog was a seriously neglected baby until she was 8 months old. We got her 2 months later. She is the friendliest, shaggiest, most loving 30-pounder you ever met....part blue heeler/part terrier.

Yep attitude sounds just like my Isis too.

here is my sehtka who just plopped on my legs in time for me having to o wake the better half up to go to work.


http://s200.photobucket.com/albums/aa51/Tigeresstms/sehtka/?action=view&current=100_0733.jpg
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 04:50 AM
She is beautiful.

BTW, if I am sitting on my couch knitting, Cookie (the calico) can sense it and she comes to get in my lap.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 05:01 AM
Yeah, yeah, dogs and cats. Did you see the pumpkin or not?

LMAO!!

rotflmao

Just dropping in. I'm trying to finish homework before midnight.

faint
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 05:04 AM
yes the shiny pumkin was very original. what are you gonna do next?
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 05:08 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
She is beautiful.

BTW, if I am sitting on my couch knitting, Cookie (the calico) can sense it and she comes to get in my lap.


so does she knead while you knit? hehehehehe rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 05:57 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
yes the shiny pumkin was very original. what are you gonna do next?

Thank you!

Next? I'm going to stand on my head and juggle balls of bread dough with my feet while singing: "Santi, Santi, Santi" in the style of Sophia Loren. LMAO!! Yes, she does! I had no idea she sang. I have her on a cd.

No, but really...

rotflmao

You'll have to excuse me, I'm a little punch-drunk after finally finishing my report on Red Onaga! WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

hurray hurray hurray

I don't know what's next in the realm of art. I need to finish Shiny's beaded duck that I started last year as a "thank you" for him winning my case because I knew he was a kick-*ss attorney before I really even knew him. Since he will win the day for me next week, I need to hurry!!!

I still need to figure out how to mount that puppy, though. I was thinking about a shadow box with some cattails and a few marshy looking items in strategic areas, since the duck is sitting on water. Which means it's time for a trip to Hobby Lobby! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray

I'd like to post a picture of Chablis when I get a chance, too. She is a kitty that my sister found in Louisiana at a recycling center and she brought her to Texas to live at my grandma's. Chablis has orange teeth. The vet has no idea why. I call her "Blis-blis" for short. She LOVES bacon!! She is a Bacon Scammer Supreme!!!!

So CUTE!!!!!!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 06:39 AM
i'll be sitting here working on my own hobbies...

making cat collar

curtains for cat show cage

cat bed for cat show

golden litter box w/ heiroglyphs....yes again for cat show.

damn cat will have her own kitty apartment.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/02/09 02:28 PM
:MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk: :MrEEk:
faint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint

Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
I still need to figure out how to mount that puppy, though.

faint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint

OMG!
Charlotte!!!

Please tell me you didn't say that!!!

faint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint faint faintfaint
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 05:04 AM
Well, Shiny saved my butt today!! He was carrying a box out that PL-L saved for me and I noticed that my tire was low. He checked it out to make sure there were no nails in it and then told me to take it nearby to have some tire people check it out.

PHEW!! Good darn thing!! It had a hole on the inside on the shoulder...a really strange area...but that sucker would have been flat when I got out of class if I had just put air in it and gone on without having it checked....that's for sure!!

I called him after class to thank him for saving my butt but I told him I was stranded and he needed to come and get me. LMAO!!!

Oh yeah...HILARIOUS!!

I sent him the poster yesterday so I figured it would be there today...he says, "I told PL-L you have too much time on your hands...."

Me: "Oh, so you got the mail, eh?"

rotflmao

He really liked it. A LOT! PL-L did, too. And it's kinda hard to get her to laugh. But--since he was: rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao , that's probably why she laughed, LOL!!!

Really, though, because one day she was asking me if Gray had any livestock and I said that he just had one cow...just for a joke...and she thought I was serious!!! rotflmao

Good thing we got that straightened out, though, because she had entered it in my Discovery Response!!

rotflmao

So anyway...while I was there I decided to check out a certain blogger's blog. Well, all KINDS of new posts and crap talkin', LOL!!

Let's see...crap talkin' about Mediation...all kinds of nonsense about things that were in my Discovery Response and the trial exhibits...it was like THAT was his Discovery Response, really. Excuses about this-n-that. Digs at me that failed miserably.

Because I was: rotflmao

Let's see...he said I must have been listening to Shiny with glazed eyes because things that were worth $XX,XXX.XX are now worth $X,XXX.XX!!!!

rotflmao

Oh, and whatever vitamin or mineral he had a depletion in...the time frame on that moved back about a decade or more. I think he was trying to imply that it was my fault. Well, whatever. He ate like a KING, here. Well-balanced meals, too, not junk! Unless he bought it on his own, I sure as heck didn't.

So yeah, rewriting medical history to try and make me look bad just like he rewrote marital history. I read some of this B.S. to Shiny. Sooooo........ rotflmao

Tell you what, Gray's gonna be talkin' out the udder side of his [censored] by the time Shiny gets through with him!!!

rotflmao

OWH called while I was there. Shiny told me to grab the phone because he was busy so I did. And it was OWH!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

We talked for a while. Then I had to go so I could hang Shiny's thing...(Yeah, okay, bring it on, cinderella...I know you are going to make some comment about that!! rotflmao )

The PLAQUE!!! Nice and sturdy it hangs!! It won't be falling on anyone's head! I made sure of that!! No matter how hard Shiny slams that door...it's not going ANYWHERE!!! rotflmao

Charlotte

Oh yeah, Shiny said he'll ask Slag on the stand about the voodoo doll and then he'll ask me if I've been having any unusual pains in unusual places...

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 05:09 AM
OMG!!

WHERE is your HEAD, Young Lady??!!

Shame on you!!!!!

naughty naughty naughty

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: SIHW Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 05:35 AM
I love DM she is my super hero!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 06:25 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
I love DM she is my super hero!

grin

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww................ blush

grin

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 06:31 AM
Oh yeah, forgot to add this little gem...

Gray's profile page on his blog...cutesy little things like his favorite books:

Divorce for Dummies, Divorce for Dummies Pt. II (for those who didn't understand Pt. I)

rotflmao

Favorite things...

Getting divorced...Getting divorced quicker...Hi-Fi Radios (but nothing beats getting divorced quicker)

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 08:17 PM
OWH called when I was at the funeral.

Well, technically I called him first, but he called me back minutes later.

Said he got a text that Gray got fired.

Called Shiny and gave him the heads up. He was just getting ready to go back inside courtroom, LOL!!

Waiting for details now.

Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/06/09 11:14 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Said he got a text that Gray got fired.

Aaawww...poor baby....
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 12:18 AM
With how you mention Gray and in the same breath almost always mention his pills, it doesn't surprise me.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 01:15 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
With how you mention Gray and in the same breath almost always mention his pills, it doesn't surprise me.

Yep!!

And someone else mentioned that. OWH? Mighta been.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 01:15 AM
Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Said he got a text that Gray got fired.

Aaawww...poor baby....

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 01:25 AM
Okay, here's how it went:

I called OWH after the funeral service when we were on our way to the fellowship hall for the breaking of bread.

A good friend who used to be in the lady's brother's band came in from the Hill Country to attend her funeral. So it was a bit of a reunion.

Anyway, I told him about OWH and wanted to get the two of them hooked up because this friend plays the same music OWH loves to promote on his show.

Then we went in the hall. A bit later, I saw that OWH had called and left a VM. He sounded all excited and wanted me to call him back.

So I did and he told me. Then: You need to call Shiny RIGHT NOW!!

So I did and we talked for few minutes before he had to go striding purposefully back into the courtroom. LOL!!

Then OWH sent a text that he had confirmation.

I tried to call him back but no answer and he hasn't called back as of yet.

So that's where we are right now. And Gray has been in gmail and Yahoo IM all day long on active status.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 06:37 AM
Okay, OWH called about 30 minutes ago...just got off the phone.

Here is what he said:

Gray apparently screwed something up royally at work. He was escorted out by security!!

They wouldn't even let him go to his office to get any of his things!!

WOW!! :MrEEk:

What do you think THAT was all about??!!

WOW!!

Then, his source said...Slag just left. For HOURS and HOURS!! Then she came back and she was NOT a happy camper!!

Wow! This is getting INTERESTING!!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 03:54 PM
so, Gray used a threaded devise used to attach items!!! That might not bode well for support purposes. Before you get too excited, remember that this is possibly not good for you. However, it couldn't happen to a more deserving person.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Still ROTFLMAO!!! - 02/07/09 06:05 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
so, Gray used a threaded devise used to attach items!!! That might not bode well for support purposes. Before you get too excited, remember that this is possibly not good for you. However, it couldn't happen to a more deserving person.

Yes, he did!!

Well, I'm not worried about it. What's the point? It's one of those things we can't control so there's just no sense in getting all worked up about it, IMO. I did enough damage to my system stressing out about his affair. I'm not going to stress out about this.

Nothing changes as far as court. We're still on. Shiny's STILL gonna stomp some major [censored]!!

Everything's going to be okay.

I wish everyone could be there on Tuesday!!! WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Shiny's gonna blow up the Death Star!!!!

Then, after an award ceremony on Yavin, everyone will get free passage to Endor, where there's going to be a gigantic celebration sponsored by the Ewoks...and we'll dance and dance and there will be lots of food and fireworks and fun!!!

hurray hurray hurray

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Update - 02/07/09 08:31 PM
Okay, I have to print a retraction, LMAO!!

Shiny has decided to ask the judge for a continuance so we can find out why Gray was fired, etc.

He is with a client right now but will call me back with details.

To be continued...

Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/07/09 08:50 PM
wonder if he and slag got caught doing something they shouldn't have....
you don't think he could have stolen from his business do you? If he has been having financial issues maybe he went off the deep end and did something that stupid. I mean to be escorted by security out and not allowed to go get his things....they are keeping him away from something also in his office...maybe files....things in the computer...things he might do damage to/steal?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/07/09 09:10 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
wonder if he and slag got caught doing something they shouldn't have....
you don't think he could have stolen from his business do you? If he has been having financial issues maybe he went off the deep end and did something that stupid. I mean to be escorted by security out and not allowed to go get his things....they are keeping him away from something also in his office...maybe files....things in the computer...things he might do damage to/steal?

Yeah, that makes a lot more sense. I mean, OWH's source said he lost a bunch of files on the server...well...maybe that was just a part of it, because you are right. It does seem excessive to be escorted out for that.

I thought maybe he was caught stealing. Not that they are hurting for money, considering the eBay activity. They both just got a 2-month bonus so they are riding on near $20,000 from that. He also never gave me half of the IRS check that came in. And there was another one that was supposed to come here that I think was forwarded there by mistake and he just forged my name on it and cashed it.

Oh yeah, and she has a TON of credit cards...he hasn't had enough time to ruin her credit yet, LOL!! So they aren't hurting for money, even though they pretend they are for court, etc.

He has access, well...HAD access to everyone's email accounts and he could spy if he wanted. I had told the company about that and they said they would put a stop to it but I guess they didn't.

Intewesting...vewy, vewy intewesting!!

I'm sure I will be blamed in some way, LOL!

OWH is worried about my physical safety now because of her license to carry. Yeah, well, they have to catch me first!!

And I have eyes in the back of my head...so good luck with that, lousy adulterers!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/07/09 09:35 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
He also never gave me half of the IRS check that came in. And there was another one that was supposed to come here that I think was forwarded there by mistake and he just forged my name on it and cashed it.

Unless I am mistaken, the postal service can not forward a government check. I think there is a 'return to sender if not deliverable as addressed' notation on the envelope for IRS refunds.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/07/09 09:37 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
I'm sure I will be blamed in some way, LOL!


You too? Let me guess - like me, you are the queen she-devil?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/07/09 09:40 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
He also never gave me half of the IRS check that came in. And there was another one that was supposed to come here that I think was forwarded there by mistake and he just forged my name on it and cashed it.

Unless I am mistaken, the postal service can not forward a government check. I think there is a 'return to sender if not deliverable as addressed' notation on the envelope for IRS refunds.

Yeah, I know they aren't SUPPOSED to, but it happens all the time!! My Mom sees this a LOT at work (at her P.O. near Shiny, spit and you'll hit it! LOL!) and also experiences it when my g'ma's check is supposed to come in. It's gone to several different neighbor's homes, pretty frequently!

Our town just has some really lousy carriers all the way around. A lot of the older carriers have retired and the new blood just isn't WITH it!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/07/09 09:43 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
I'm sure I will be blamed in some way, LOL!


You too? Let me guess - like me, you are the queen she-devil?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

You know it!!

XW and I are in the club...but not the "1st Wives' Club"...The Ex-Wives' Club!" We know Slag will be begging for membership eventually so we wanted to change the title and leave that slot open!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/07/09 10:47 PM
Okay...we are a go...repeating...we are a GO for Tuesday!!

WOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

hurray

Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 02:43 AM
so what did shiny find out?
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 04:59 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
so what did shiny find out?

Nothing. He just found a fax when he got in this morning informing him/us about the termination.

Bellevue did a check on Gray's blog...and...YEP! He's talkin' trash about the termination!

Dang!! I wish I could view it from here!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 05:58 AM
Gray just has NO idea...how badly...Shiny wants to have his liver...with Fava Beans and a good Chianti!!!!

rotflmao




Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:11 AM
OWH told me that during his Mediation...Gray's name came up. He said HE (OWH) was trying to be diplomatic in his description but then Shiny went ballistic!!

He said Shiny let loose with a stream of expletives that would make a sailor blush!! LOL!! Oh wait! He used to be a sailor!! LMAO!!

Well, he wasn't blushing!!

Anyway...he just wants to shred Gray so very badly!! I don't know why Gray gets under his skin so much! He has this other "nemesis" that is just as bad as Gray or worse but he doesn't get that way about him.

So I don't know!!

But it's HILARIOUS!!!

But I know he is going to be all calm and cool in court. The only evidence of his intense feeling against Gray will be the slight trembling of his hands; dark, dark eyes full of rage; and the gritting of his teeth that will turn his smile into a grimace. No one will notice. rotflmao

Oh yeah,

he might snap a few dozen pens in two...better bring extra!!

LMAO!!!



Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:15 AM
Buy Shiny a blow-up punching doll and tape a picture of Gray to it.

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:24 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Buy Shiny a blow-up punching doll and tape a picture of Gray to it.

rotflmao

rotflmao

Hey! That's a great idea!! Thanks for the tip, karmasrose!!

I LOVE it!!

I wish I had time to find one before the trial but I know I won't find one in THIS town, LOL!!! No time to run to H-town, either. Darn!!

Well, I can still get him one after. He will have to deal with Gray again at OWH's trial. Plus, if the judge agrees to a continuance...I can get him one before the next trial date.

WAY COOL!!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:34 AM
kiss


Ah, hope that email helps
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:38 AM
CINDER!!!

kiss

I LOVE you!!

Thank you, speeding back to email right now!!!!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:39 AM
ditto!!!! i wanna read it too.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:42 AM
Do I have your email addy?
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:50 AM
rotflmao Ladies, we are TOO much! rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:56 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
kiss


Ah, hope that email helps

Heck yeah!! THANK YOU!!

Now I can summarize for Shiny...then he can go in and read the whole shebang when he has more time. He has like 5 hearings Monday morning!! And clients coming in after lunch...if he even makes it back to the office!!!

WHEW!!! His day is going to be as intense as mine!!

Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:58 AM
xxxxxxxxxxx.com let me know when you get it and I can take it off here.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 06:59 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
rotflmao Ladies, we are TOO much! rotflmao

Ain't it, though? LOL!!

Boy, it sure bothers the HELL out of Gray that Shiny has kept him tied up for so long!! Will likely be even longer since he's going to ask for a continuance. I have high hopes for that. Our judge really likes Shiny!! And he is fair. He's a nice guy. Tall drink o' water, too! WOW!!

Yeah, it's so funny how he & Shiny are so far apart yet he's seen Shiny in non-courtroom situations since this all started. Once even all the way in San Antonio!!

LMAO!!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:00 AM
Got it!
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:01 AM
Let's hear it for the slags of the world puke
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:06 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Let's hear it for the slags of the world puke

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah, he is SO HOPING I will read his blathering!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

And hoping that it will bother me! NOT!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Did you read the previous blogs...he had about 4 new ones when I checked from Shiny's on Thursday.

And don't forget his profile...with the hilarious comments!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao





Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:19 AM
Let me know if and when you need more recon. flirt
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:34 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Let me know if and when you need more recon. flirt

Roger that!!

Thanks, Soldier!!

Since he said he'll be posting daily, I probably will!!

He just CANNOT keep his mouth shut!! I even found some good clues for Shiny for OWH's trial in the feedback he left for others on eBay!! If he needs to nail down dates...I got some!!

LOL!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:48 AM
WARNING IF SESITIVE COVER EYES AND GOD PLEASE COVER EARS:

Sweet Bejesus....WTF....that was thie biggest bunch of F^%$#& bulls@$& I have ever read...The man is severly on crack wait scratch that prescription medication....but his user name says it all doesn't it....bad thing is he is an IT dork like my XH with the same f&%$#^& attitude....but a ham like my father Whom i don't get along with but he's not as %$#^&*% immature as your STBXH.
He really rubs me the wrong way....just like my dad does and I sooooo want to say a few #@$^^$$ *&^%#^& choice words then throttle him for you....

He is severly F$%^&@ up in the head.....

oh DM I just had a shiny moment......sorry i usually never curse so much...but I am starting to believe your SSTBXH (first S stands for stupid)bring that out in people.

I will be happy to do recon too....i will even send you my phone number...cinders you too.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:51 AM
I vote for total body tweezing for these men. Do you think they would like to have their armpits tweezed? And, since regrowth is so miserable, it would have to be done on an on-going basis.


:crosseyedcrazy:
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:51 AM
???
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:54 AM
Ladies, I have to go to bed. I have to get up in about 5 hours. I am sleep deprived.....bed....bed....bed....b..e.d...be....d......................
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 07:56 AM
how does that go again cinders? :P
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:32 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
WARNING IF SESITIVE COVER EYES AND GOD PLEASE COVER EARS:

Sweet Bejesus....WTF....that was thie biggest bunch of F^%$#& bulls@$& I have ever read...The man is severly on crack wait scratch that prescription medication....but his user name says it all doesn't it....bad thing is he is an IT dork like my XH with the same f&%$#^& attitude....but a ham like my father Whom i don't get along with but he's not as %$#^&*% immature as your STBXH.
He really rubs me the wrong way....just like my dad does and I sooooo want to say a few #@$^^$$ *&^%#^& choice words then throttle him for you....

He is severly F$%^&@ up in the head.....

oh DM I just had a shiny moment......sorry i usually never curse so much...but I am starting to believe your SSTBXH (first S stands for stupid)bring that out in people.

I will be happy to do recon too....i will even send you my phone number...cinders you too.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

If I keep going I'm going to run out of room...but...

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!!! That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:33 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
I vote for total body tweezing for these men. Do you think they would like to have their armpits tweezed? And, since regrowth is so miserable, it would have to be done on an on-going basis.


:crosseyedcrazy:

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:34 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Ladies, I have to go to bed. I have to get up in about 5 hours. I am sleep deprived.....bed....bed....bed....b..e.d...be....d......................

NO SLEEPING ALLOWED!!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:36 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
???

She read Gray's blog.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:41 AM
Quote
I will be happy to do recon too....i will even send you my phone number...cinders you too.

Why thankyuh! I apreacheate dat!! rotflmao

Yeah, his arrogance really kills Shiny!! LMAO!!

Man I sure hope I can sleep Monday night!!! This is getting exciting!! !

rotflmao

Oh yeah, and if you want to see all of the crap he's bought on eBay, his user i.d. is the same as the name you mentioned, LMAO!!

Hers is: r0binw00d

Oh yeah, and he has some videos on youtube. It's under that same name but it's in all-caps, IIRC. I have no idea if he's added to them since 2007. I haven't looked.

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:45 AM
Yeah, I was telling XW and OWH earlier...

There needs to be a new tv show:

"When Voodoo Dolls Backfire"

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

'Cause her little stunt sure backfired on him!! LOL!! Return to sender!!

Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/08/09 09:10 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by SIHW
WARNING IF SESITIVE COVER EYES AND GOD PLEASE COVER EARS:

Sweet Bejesus....WTF....that was thie biggest bunch of F^%$#& bulls@$& I have ever read...The man is severly on crack wait scratch that prescription medication....but his user name says it all doesn't it....bad thing is he is an IT dork like my XH with the same f&%$#^& attitude....but a ham like my father Whom i don't get along with but he's not as %$#^&*% immature as your STBXH.
He really rubs me the wrong way....just like my dad does and I sooooo want to say a few #@$^^$$ *&^%#^& choice words then throttle him for you....

He is severly F$%^&@ up in the head.....

oh DM I just had a shiny moment......sorry i usually never curse so much...but I am starting to believe your SSTBXH (first S stands for stupid)bring that out in people.

I will be happy to do recon too....i will even send you my phone number...cinders you too.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

If I keep going I'm going to run out of room...but...

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!!! That was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao


oh trust me i had more...but refrained...so i continue my lady like appearance
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:14 PM
Okay, I either dreamed about it or woke up thinking about it, not sure which.

I think Shiny must be thinking what I'm thinking about the whole termination deal.

I didn't think to ask him about it last night, though.

Was it pre-planned?

Well, let's see...

They are sitting on over 20 g's from the bonuses, plus the IRS check he never gave me half of, and probably the other one, too.

He has access to all of her credit cards. As far as insurance? Well, he will only have to wait a couple of months or so, depending on when the judge resets the trial if he chooses to do so...otherwise they can tie the knot in April and she will put him on her insurance.

So how is he hurting?

He's NOT!!

And would he go that far...as to set himself up to get fired?

YES.
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:20 PM
Could you email me the link to his blog too?

-removed-

I'll delete it when you send me the link. smile Post here to say so, because that's not my main email.

EDIT: There were a couple of blogs on different boards I was looking at so if Gray does not have a blog, sorry. >.o
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:25 PM
Got it!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:30 PM
LMAO!!

DIL just told me that Gray called there last night. Sounded drunk off his [censored].

Yeah, probably was drunk. And stoned out of his gourd.

I asked her if he had a different story about the termination. She didn't ask because she doesn't care, LOL!

Since he did for the blog, you KNOW he will for the kids. I'm just waiting for me to get worked into the scenario somehow, LMAO!!

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:34 PM
After seeing what Gray posted about alimony, I concur that he got fired on purpose.

Shame on you for trying to get alimony from an unemployed man!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 08:48 PM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
After seeing what Gray posted about alimony, I concur that he got fired on purpose.

Shame on you for trying to get alimony from an unemployed man!

rotflmao

Yes! SHAME on ME!! I am SO EVIL!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

rotflmao

Yeah, you gotta remember, I am responsible for: WWI, WWII, The Crimean War, The Korean War, global warming, the gas shortage of the 1970's, The Vietnam War, 911, Jonestown, Waco, the sinking of the Titanic, the recession, Houston traffic, plagues of locusts, his flat tire, his flat manhood, etc. etc. ad nauseum!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 09:14 PM
Okay, I just found a way to annoy the hell out of Gray and Slag. I'm still packing up his personal items. Now I am packing them in boxes that Shiny & PL-L saved for me. They have Shiny's name and office address on them.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah, I know. Why didn't I think of that before? DUH!!

Well, I used a lot of them to pack up items for donation.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Update - 02/08/09 09:48 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah, you gotta remember, I am responsible for: WWI, WWII, The Crimean War, The Korean War, global warming, the gas shortage of the 1970's, The Vietnam War, 911, Jonestown, Waco, the sinking of the Titanic, the recession, Houston traffic, plagues of locusts, his flat tire, his flat manhood, etc. etc. ad nauseum!!!

I knew you wuz behind Hurricane Ike, you devil! skeptical
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/08/09 10:26 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Yeah, you gotta remember, I am responsible for: WWI, WWII, The Crimean War, The Korean War, global warming, the gas shortage of the 1970's, The Vietnam War, 911, Jonestown, Waco, the sinking of the Titanic, the recession, Houston traffic, plagues of locusts, his flat tire, his flat manhood, etc. etc. ad nauseum!!!

I knew you wuz behind Hurricane Ike, you devil! skeptical

Oops! Forgot that one!! LOL!

Yeah, better put on that Rolling Stones tune:

"Pleased to meet you....hope you guessed mah name!!! But what's puzzlin' you...is just the...nature of mah game!!"

rotflmao
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Update - 02/08/09 10:46 PM
charlotte,
can you email me the links please? i feel left out laugh

email in sigline
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/09/09 12:55 AM
Done and DONE!

wink

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/09/09 04:26 PM



Tomorrow, Baby!

hurray
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/09/09 04:41 PM
Hi DM, trying to find time to read through your sitch. I think my H will be on the unemployment line sooner than later.

Also ask Shiny about Atty for the county I live in. Got papers this morning and have to respond. I found out that H's atty had 3x been charged with professional misconduct. Figures H's atty is sleazy also since it is also OW's atty. I need someone that I can have complete faith with.
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/10/09 12:19 AM
Think about it this way.

You have Shiny, who is Han Solo. hurray

And Gray has the 3x loser who is Greedo. puke
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Update - 02/10/09 12:28 AM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Done and DONE!

wink

kiss

:MrEEk:

o. m. g
Posted By: Miss M Re: Update - 02/10/09 03:53 AM
Hi Charlotte,

Just wanted to let you know I am praying for your success tomorrow in court.

Best wishes to you! smile

Love in Christ,
Miss M
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/10/09 04:03 AM
Just opened your link and see you are in court tomorrow. My prayers are with you and let us know how you do.

Started reading your sitch up to page 50, you have come a long way. Good luck - God speed.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/10/09 04:54 AM
I want a friggin Play by play!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:49 AM
Originally Posted by hope3343
Hi DM, trying to find time to read through your sitch. I think my H will be on the unemployment line sooner than later.

Also ask Shiny about Atty for the county I live in. Got papers this morning and have to respond. I found out that H's atty had 3x been charged with professional misconduct. Figures H's atty is sleazy also since it is also OW's atty. I need someone that I can have complete faith with.

I sure will ask him! In the a.m.!

Dang!! 3x!! That's wild!!

Shiny called while I was still in class, around 10. I called back when I got out.

Boy, was he P*SSED!! He had been reading Gray's blog and needed some radio translations. YOWZA!!

I wish he wouldn't have been so busy and been able to read it earlier in the day...he might not be able to sleep now!

I am going to have to keep an eye on him now. In case he goes after Gray in other ways to pummel him into Gray Rancid Butter! Not that I care about that part...I just don't want Shiny to go to jail!!

YES, he is THAT worked up about it!! And it takes a LOT to get him into that state, normally he's really easygoing and sweet. Wait! Make that: SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!

He ordered me to get some rest so I can't stay up messing around much longer.

But this is really cool!! My favorite Chef called me out in front of the class today to tell everyone to read my journals as an example because I am such a good writer!!

blush blush blush OMG!!

That's not all!! Later on break, Chef asked me if he could have copies of my journals to put in his personal career portfolio!!!

faint faint faint

He said that I am really funny...didn't I hear him laughing over there?

I said, no, I was probably washing dishes and not close by!!

LOL!!

I thought that was WAY COOL!!

Can't wait to tell Shiny!!

Yeah, that's IT!! Gotta get started on that novel!!







Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:52 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Think about it this way.

You have Shiny, who is Han Solo. hurray

And Gray has the 3x loser who is Greedo. puke

rotflmao

I LOVE it!! Yes, Shiny would definitely make a SMASHING Han Solo!!

Swashbuckling space pirate, yep!! His hair's about getting there as well, LOL!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:53 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Done and DONE!

wink

kiss

:MrEEk:

o. m. g

Ain't it, though?

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:55 AM
Originally Posted by Miss M
Hi Charlotte,

Just wanted to let you know I am praying for your success tomorrow in court.

Best wishes to you! smile

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Thank you!!

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:56 AM
Originally Posted by hope3343
Just opened your link and see you are in court tomorrow. My prayers are with you and let us know how you do.

Started reading your sitch up to page 50, you have come a long way. Good luck - God speed.

Thank you!!

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:59 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
I want a friggin Play by play!!!!

Will do!!

As soon as I get back from class tomorrow night!!

Mom's waking up at 4 a.m. to go pick up XW.

I have to call OWH and make sure he is up when I get up.

I have to meet Shiny at 7 a.m. for the drive to court.

I wonder if I'll sleep at all? LOL!! I was sleepy in class and driving home. You think I am now? HAIL NO!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/10/09 06:47 AM
I hope I can be that excited about my ATty!

Can you film it! You have come a long way. I have been reading your sitch. up to page 50 and counting
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 07:00 AM
Originally Posted by hope3343
I hope I can be that excited about my ATty!

Can you film it! You have come a long way. I have been reading your sitch. up to page 50 and counting

Me too! Awwwwwww....Shiny is DA BOMB, Baby!!

I wish I could!! OWH wants to film it REALLY bad!! I don't know if he's really planning on smuggling in a camera, though. LOL!!

I'm definitely going to have to get the transcript!! Noooooooo boudadoubtit!!



Posted By: jayne241 Re: Update - 02/10/09 07:02 AM
Prayers for you tomorrow, Char!!!

hug pray
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 07:09 AM
I just want to thank everyone for all of the love and support and positive energy. I am blessed beyond measure and I hope that I can pay it forward as much as possible before I kick the bucket.

You have all been so kind to a little stranger from the sticks who was emotionally raped by her WS.

I would not have made it without you all. And that has translated to the outside, too, with my family (including my stepchildren), Shiny and other people I have met since this whole thing began.

Gray has no chance against this kind of love...he can throw out all of the evil he wants...it will just turn to dust.

He also has no idea that there is this much love in the world. He does not like people. He shuts himself away from the world and I really shut myself away, too. I thought it was the right thing to do since we were married.

He will never know this kind of love because he is so hateful. Well, that will be his life, then. He'll just remain bitter and hateful until the day he dies. That is a shame but it does not affect me.

Thank you from the bottom all the way to the top of my heart and beyond!!!

I love you, All!!!

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 07:10 AM
Originally Posted by jayne241
Prayers for you tomorrow, Char!!!

hug pray

Thank you, jayne!!!

kiss
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 11:45 AM
Gettin' ready to ROCK-N-ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And...I just gotta say...

BADA BING, BADA BOOM, HE'S DONE!!

You doan messa witta da BIG ITALIAN, Baby!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Update - 02/10/09 11:52 AM
Good Luck Charlotte! Rock 'em!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/10/09 11:54 AM
Originally Posted by MicheleG
Good Luck Charlotte! Rock 'em!

Thank you, Michele!!!

kiss
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Update - 02/10/09 02:10 PM
Oh Char!

I'm sitting right with you the whole day.

Yeah.

That's me you hear making fun of Gray's inane attempt at pathos, while Shiny hangs him up and beats him like a pinata.

What can I say?

My horns hold my halo in place.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/10/09 02:36 PM
Charlotte,

I have no worries about you or your case today. You've already won... this is just icing on the cake.

We'll all be sitting here waiting..........

kiss
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/10/09 04:05 PM
-prepares helmet-

It's Palpatine. D: There's no I after the second P.

To make up for my corrections --

GO SHINY!!!! hurray
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/10/09 04:13 PM
Have been praying for you this morning.

Charlotte, isn't the love here amazing. I so wish I had had it while I was going through my separation and divorce.

You are a fabulous woman. Remember, when you walk in that courtroom, you walk in with the love and respect of a lot of people! Including XW and OWH. Mostly, though, you have cheerleaders and friends here - The MB brigade - Mighty Beautiful Brigade.

gray walks in with slag
Posted By: bestfriend439 Re: Update - 02/10/09 05:22 PM
Charlotte, I am with you today! Picturing you exuding blinding goddessness in your Spectacular Red Suit!
I can hear Grey crying out from here, "my eyes, my eyes, it's gloriousness burns me so!!!" rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

hug
BF439
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Update - 02/10/09 09:20 PM
Anyone else waiting by the computer with baited breath?
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/10/09 09:27 PM
Quote
Anyone else waiting by the computer with baited breath?

Yep, and with tapping toes, crossed fingers and an eye tic.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Update - 02/10/09 10:21 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
Anyone else waiting by the computer with baited breath?

Yep, and with tapping toes, crossed fingers and an eye tic.

I've been to the bathroom 109 times waitin' ...
sorry, TMI

Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/10/09 10:39 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
Anyone else waiting by the computer with baited breath?

Yep, and with tapping toes, crossed fingers and an eye tic.

I've been to the bathroom 109 times waitin' ...
sorry, TMI

rotflmao

Posted By: Pepperband Re: Update - 02/10/09 10:42 PM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Originally Posted by Pepperband
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
Anyone else waiting by the computer with baited breath?

Yep, and with tapping toes, crossed fingers and an eye tic.

I've been to the bathroom 109 times waitin' ...
sorry, TMI

rotflmao

TMI? Is that too much...

incontinence

Maybe .... but it's not what you think !!!
I'm not talking about pee pee !!!! :MrEEk:
[spoiler]REALLY TMI
rotflmao



[/spoiler]

Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/10/09 10:52 PM
Darn it!! You captured my dumba$$ joke before I could edit it out.

rotflmao blush
Posted By: miriam123 Re: Update - 02/11/09 04:28 AM
CHARLOTTE!!! We're all here WAITING....gonna pass out from holding my breath... faint
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/11/09 04:53 AM
shes eatin darn it give the woman a brake to eat some food.....geeez people....no picture please let miss char have a moment to prepair and then your questions will be answered

*speaks into hidden cuff mic* we are clear for the blue jay to land with the eggs.....
Posted By: miriam123 Re: Update - 02/11/09 05:04 AM
LOL...

rotflmao
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/11/09 05:26 AM
I think she must not know how eager we are to hear this story.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:02 AM
I'm sorry for the delay. I had class after we were finished. Then I had to call my sister and my mom and XW and OWH. LOL!

Okay, Shiny got the continuance. But of course!!!

We did have to get a bit of the testimony out of the way. I can't comment on that just yet, LOL!!

Technically, we are in recess. The judge did not give us a return date, though.

So Shiny was grinning like a chipmunk all the way home!! LMAO!!!

As I suspected but forgot to ask him in the last phone call, Shiny thinks Gray got fired on purpose, too.

I have him my scenario. I think I posted that here last night. Or at some point. So I won't repeat it.

Anyway, that's where we are now.

We had a good time on the way there and back, though, LOL!! Laughing, mostly.

I'm sure in the other car, there was no laughing.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:06 AM
I'll have to pipe in more detail tomorrow. I'm bushed!!

I can talk about everyone's demeanor all the livelong day!!! No testimony involved there!!!

Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:08 AM
Hi Dancing machine ...dance away dance2

Just checking in. Glad it went well. You have such great support from when you started. Good for you.

Did you ever ask shiny about Atty? I found out tonight that my H's atty is a barracuda....they (hairdressers said he was ruthless), I am stunned. Of course H is using OW atty who raped her X-husband over and over. Stop by my sitch.

How the heck did you drag out your D so long??? amazing.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:18 AM
Originally Posted by hope3343
Did you ever ask shiny about Atty?

Posting for DM who is bushed and heading for bed...she conveyed this to me for you hope:

"He said that he doesn't know any attorneys there at present. He was stationed in your area for a couple of years and knows the area really well...but that was a while back, LOL"
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/11/09 04:57 PM
darn it! I have 2 that I am going to check out. Hope they rock.
Thanks for checking.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:03 PM
Ok, just a heads up...Mr. Grey has posted on his blog again and well.... it made me laugh out loud at how much this guy is completely clueless. Oh, he's pissed.... and apparantly taking a loooong vacation.

DM-- have Shiny check it out pronto.

This guy really is unbelievable.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/11/09 06:47 PM
And classy too... didncha like the picture?
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/11/09 07:02 PM
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Ok, just a heads up...Mr. Grey has posted on his blog again and well.... it made me laugh out loud at how much this guy is completely clueless. Oh, he's pissed.... and apparantly taking a loooong vacation.

DM-- have Shiny check it out pronto.

This guy really is unbelievable.

I concure....he also makes a horrible referance to xw#1 that was out of line. He really needs to look in the mirror before making comments because if he walked up to me in a bar I would chew him out for hitting on some one more than 19 years younger than him and he should be ashamed as he's old enough to be my father.

Then I would kick him in the nuts because I felt I needed to defend myself from an oncoming attempeted assault. I mean I feared for my safety and wanted to get away from him officer.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/11/09 09:35 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Ok, just a heads up...Mr. Grey has posted on his blog again and well.... it made me laugh out loud at how much this guy is completely clueless. Oh, he's pissed.... and apparantly taking a loooong vacation.

DM-- have Shiny check it out pronto.

This guy really is unbelievable.

I concure....he also makes a horrible referance to xw#1 that was out of line. He really needs to look in the mirror before making comments because if he walked up to me in a bar I would chew him out for hitting on some one more than 19 years younger than him and he should be ashamed as he's old enough to be my father.

Then I would kick him in the nuts because I felt I needed to defend myself from an oncoming attempeted assault. I mean I feared for my safety and wanted to get away from him officer.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!! That is SO funny!!

Yeah, that was totally uncalled for with XW #1.

LOL!! He got her age wrong!! LMAO!! Too much ale, I guess!!

rotflmao

DIL sent the latest entry to me a bit ago.

rotflmao

"her lawyer almost teared up"

Well, I don't remember that but if he did, it doesn't surprise me. It's not an act with Shiny, either, as Gray believes. Shiny has a sweet and tender heart!!! He LOVES people, something Gray will NEVER understand!!!

The lap dog comment was HILARIOUS!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

LOL! I was wondering this a.m. if Gray heard Shiny make a certain comment to me while we were gathering up the contents of my file that were strewn all over the table.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao



Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/11/09 09:54 PM
We're all eager to see the video.....let me know when you're showing the video and I'll bring the popcorn!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 12:27 AM
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Oh Char!

I'm sitting right with you the whole day.

hug

Quote
Yeah.

That's me you hear making fun of Gray's inane attempt at pathos, while Shiny hangs him up and beats him like a pinata.

rotflmao

He wants to. He REALLY, REALLY wants to!!

Quote
What can I say?

My horns hold my halo in place.

cool

wink

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 12:29 AM
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Charlotte,

I have no worries about you or your case today. You've already won... this is just icing on the cake.

We'll all be sitting here waiting..........

kiss

kiss

hug


Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 12:39 AM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
-prepares helmet-

It's Palpatine. D: There's no I after the second P.

To make up for my corrections --

GO SHINY!!!! hurray

Gray's Palpitine has an "I" because that's all he thinks about...

rotflmao

HAIL yeah, go Shiny!!!

Gray doesn't EVEN want to see him flex his muscles!!!

He'd be running for the hills!!

Oh wait! He already is!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 01:58 AM
OMG!

Gray called his SON and threatened him and DIL with a subpoena!!

Details soon...
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:57 AM
This guy is a piece of work. REALLY BAD work. :crosseyedcrazy:
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:04 AM
Anyone read the blog lately looks like stupid has a groupie....and his blog makes her hot oh and....she wants to know if he wants to test her airwaves....OW maybe trying to spice something up???
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:10 AM
Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think it's quite right to take your girlfriend to court with you when you are trying to get a divorce.

:twobyfour:

I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:14 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
This guy is a piece of work. REALLY BAD work. :crosseyedcrazy:

ITA!!!

He's gone totally bonkers!!

He called and yelled at ODS.

Without revealing any testimony, I can say that he basically threatened to turn them in to the IRS.

Then he threatened to have them both subpoenaed.

And he hung up on his son.

Then ODS called XW.

Then XW called me.

So I talked to her for a while and then put her on speaker so she could talk to me and Mom.

He was also questioning ODS about how XW got to the hearing. Like who gave her a ride.

See, me and XW have talked about this before. The kids are not a part of this. She doesn't even talk to them about this. Except for DD.

And though DIL & I talk about it, she doesn't talk about it with ODS. Not much, anyway. Maybe a little blip now and again.

But DANG!!

If he really intends to drag the kids into this...well...

faint

There aren't even going to be any Gray specks of dust that remain by the time Shiny gets done with him!

Posted By: jayne241 Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:16 AM
Quote
I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.

Quick, someone capture it for future reference, in case he edits it!

(I'm not saying to post it here, just have it available in case Shiny needs it...)
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:17 AM
Originally Posted by cinderella
Maybe I'm crazy, but I don't think it's quite right to take your girlfriend to court with you when you are trying to get a divorce.

:twobyfour:

Well, she was subpoenaed. So they didn't want to waste gas and have less money to spend on eBay. But hey!! They got paid for the trip, anyway!! LOL!!! 10 bucks for gas!

Quote
I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.


rotflmao

HAIL no!! Well, actually, since he's bragging about it, Shiny may like that. More ammo, Baby!!!

But of course he won't like it because it hurts his client.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:18 AM
Originally Posted by jayne241
Quote
I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.

Quick, someone capture it for future reference, in case he edits it!

(I'm not saying to post it here, just have it available in case Shiny needs it...)

Yes, that would be grand if someone could do that!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:19 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Anyone read the blog lately looks like stupid has a groupie....and his blog makes her hot oh and....she wants to know if he wants to test her airwaves....OW maybe trying to spice something up???

Really? Must be that make-up job he has posted!

rotflmao
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:19 AM
Originally Posted by jayne241
Quote
I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.

Quick, someone capture it for future reference, in case he edits it!

(I'm not saying to post it here, just have it available in case Shiny needs it...)

Done I copied the entire blog to the last entry to an email and emailed it to myself....pictures and all.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:20 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by jayne241
Quote
I bet Shiny won't like that line about taking as long a break as possible before starting to look for another job.

Quick, someone capture it for future reference, in case he edits it!

(I'm not saying to post it here, just have it available in case Shiny needs it...)

Done I copied the entire blog to the last entry to an email and emailed it to myself....pictures and all.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY cool!!

Thank you!!

kiss
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:23 AM
DM pop on right quick...got something to discuss with you
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:25 AM
K.O. Be right there.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/12/09 06:51 AM
Bwahahaha....

Ok, I am NOT his groupie, but I'd love to know who is... because I've been biting my tongue since DM started her plan B and have just been dying to leave comments for his other readers to see.

I did laugh when he mentions his girlfriend's own divorce...wow, you guys are just sooo classy!

Oh, and Dm...he must have been really bothered by how good you look because he HAS TO MENTION just how fantastic lag looked IN COURT. LMAO!!!!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 07:01 AM
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Bwahahaha....

Ok, I am NOT his groupie, but I'd love to know who is... because I've been biting my tongue since DM started her plan B and have just been dying to leave comments for his other readers to see.

I did laugh when he mentions his girlfriend's own divorce...wow, you guys are just sooo classy!

Oh, and Dm...he must have been really bothered by how good you look because he HAS TO MENTION just how fantastic lag looked IN COURT. LMAO!!!!

rotflmao

That's hilARious!!!

HAIL yeah I looked good!! And I have a cushion fer da pushin'!!

Slag is so freakin' skinny & pale she looks anorexic.

He always had a "thing" for my [censored]...well, that sounded bad...LOL!!!!

The shape, I mean. Not that other thing.

Now he cain't touch dis! Nyeh nyeh nyeh neh nyeh, nyeh!!!

uhuh

rotflmao

Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/12/09 07:21 AM
Ahh DM your such a friggin ray of ADHD energy....I love you sister!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/12/09 07:24 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
Ahh DM your such a friggin ray of ADHD energy....I love you sister!

rotflmao

Posted By: hope3343 Re: Update - 02/12/09 03:46 PM
where is this blog that H has? would love to join in on the fun! dance2
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:01 PM
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Ok, just a heads up...Mr. Grey has posted on his blog again and well.... it made me laugh out loud at how much this guy is completely clueless. Oh, he's pissed.... and apparantly taking a loooong vacation.

DM-- have Shiny check it out pronto.

This guy really is unbelievable.

I concure....he also makes a horrible referance to xw#1 that was out of line. He really needs to look in the mirror before making comments because if he walked up to me in a bar I would chew him out for hitting on some one more than 19 years younger than him and he should be ashamed as he's old enough to be my father.

Then I would kick him in the nuts because I felt I needed to defend myself from an oncoming attempeted assault. I mean I feared for my safety and wanted to get away from him officer.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!! That is SO funny!!

Yeah, that was totally uncalled for with XW #1.

LOL!! He got her age wrong!! LMAO!! Too much ale, I guess!!

rotflmao

DIL sent the latest entry to me a bit ago.

rotflmao

"her lawyer almost teared up"

Well, I don't remember that but if he did, it doesn't surprise me. It's not an act with Shiny, either, as Gray believes. Shiny has a sweet and tender heart!!! He LOVES people, something Gray will NEVER understand!!!

The lap dog comment was HILARIOUS!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

LOL! I was wondering this a.m. if Gray heard Shiny make a certain comment to me while we were gathering up the contents of my file that were strewn all over the table.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

NOOOOO!

Now I'm curious.

I want the link....

I need a laugh.

niosgirlatyahoodotcom
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:10 PM
I'll send it to you via email now.

Anyone else needs it and our Dancing Machine isn't on, just email me at mojodiva99atyahoo.com.

I'd like a link to their ebay accounts if anyone has that... I havent used ebay, so I'm a complete noob trying to get around there.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:28 PM
I printed the whole thing to a PDF file if you want me to email it to you Char.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:38 PM
So, I wonder if he knows who all is reading his blog and laughing at him? Maybe that is why he is gesturing so.

He's a stoopit idgit and I am glad our beloved friend will eventuall be healed of the pestilence of him. And to think she thought her world was messed up when he found slag...It's interesting who can learn and who can get stoopiter.
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Update - 02/12/09 04:47 PM
I got a question.

How in the world does an ego like that fit in a room?

Good Gawd!

I told MD that I think I vurped in my mouth a little.
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:06 PM
Heh. He probably wonders how the heck someone in Japan found his website. Although I did do a google on his hobbies and then pasted his url and went to his website. Some trackers can tell a website owner what the last website visited was before coming to their page. I think some even show where you head to next? So I never come there straight from MB or Facebook.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/12/09 05:12 PM
ohhhhhh....interesting.....very interesting......hmmmmm
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/12/09 11:30 PM
He has rewritten portions of his blog post.... which is very, very strange!!! Of course he added a new crack at our girl. What an [censored].

He knows someone is watching he just can't be sure who.
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/12/09 11:44 PM
That's okay I made a complete copy of the original blog last night....pictures and all.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 03:21 AM
Originally Posted by mojodiva
He has rewritten portions of his blog post.... which is very, very strange!!! Of course he added a new crack at our girl. What an [censored].

He knows someone is watching he just can't be sure who.

Oh, really?

What did he rewrite!! I didn't look at it much at Shiny's except the last entry. I see that he left a nice picture directed at obviously me and Shiny, LOL!!

The universal sign of......LOVVVVVVVE!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 03:23 AM
Originally Posted by SIHW
That's okay I made a complete copy of the original blog last night....pictures and all.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY cool!!!

Yeah, pm has a copy, not sure which day she made it but I guess we'll want all of them, KWIM?

Eating now. Back later.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/13/09 03:42 AM
Well, he's not a keeper! That's for sure!!!!!!
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/13/09 04:11 AM
I checked it this morning and I would swear up and down that its definately editted -- if anyone has a copy of the original they can check. I was reading it and kept saying, "I don't recall him saying that....or that sentence is differant..."

DM-- can you contact me via facebook? I want to make sure its ok to give out his blog, I've received more requests, though most gave me their forum number and member name.
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: Update - 02/13/09 04:27 AM
I think the part he edited was the part about the free samples of meds that they were hoping to get at the doctor's office. I'm sure he wouldn't want anybody to think he was a drug addict! crazy :RollieEyes:
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 04:39 AM
Originally Posted by Lady_Clueless
I think the part he edited was the part about the free samples of meds that they were hoping to get at the doctor's office. I'm sure he wouldn't want anybody to think he was a drug addict! crazy :RollieEyes:

Really? I don't remember that!! I hope someone has it!!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:12 AM
wow long night
ok i'm here...prepair to be amazed.


yup the meds part is an edit I looked at the original i copied last night and it's not in there. not too much else tho.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:34 AM
rotflmao I think the ladies have got that idjit's number rotflmao

we beed smarter dan hym!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:40 AM
rotflmao

He'll be like Jack Nicholson in that speech towards the end of the Witches of Eastwick.

WOMEN!! BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

*huge gusher of vomit consisting of cherry pits hurls from the orifice in the middle of his face*

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

*he is suddenly thrown through a window*

(sorry, I can't remember all or most of it at this time. Well, time to watch WoE again!!!)

Posted By: Bellevue Re: Update - 02/13/09 04:07 PM
Okay, I read his blog. Charlotte, you are well rid of him.

Even had I not been following your thread, even if I had found his blog some other way, my assessment of his personality:

bitter, self-involved, narcissistic, doesn't learn from his mistakes, everything is someone else's fault, no wit or sense of humor. Emotional growth stunted at about age 15.

Thank God you survived D-day and the following ones and found MB. Which could have had no effect on your life, had you not been made of strong stuff and good character.

You have the sense of humor, the depth, and the character that held your marriage together. He now has "that woman" who is temporarily the only female and the only ally in a world where everyone has it in for him.

And we all know that has to change soon ..... what you wanna bet they're already cannibalizing each other but that part won't make his blog just yet.
Posted By: cinderella Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:06 PM
rotflmao Think about what a catch slag is....sitting in divorce court with her boyfriend who is trying to end his marriage to wife #2....and wife #1 is there w/ the current wife.....UH! HELLO!!! Is anyone home there? rotflmao

then, to read those malicious blog postings.....

rotflmao

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:51 PM
You'd think either Slag or Gray would know that neither of them is a good catch.

I'm like anyone else here, very much against affairs.

But if I was Gray I would at least pick someone DM and Shiny wouldn't be able to laugh TOO MUCH at (or pity).

I mean, really. It's an oxymoron I feel like coining. "If you're going to be stupid be smart."
Posted By: mojodiva Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:57 PM
He's now talking about being homeless in 1 - 2- 3 months....
He'd rather be homeless than WORK because he's BITTER.

AWWWWW....



But really, are you going to be ok DM? Now Im worried for your financial situation!
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: Update - 02/13/09 05:59 PM
Originally Posted by mojodiva
He's now talking about being homeless in 1 - 2- 3 months....
He'd rather be homeless than WORK because he's BITTER.

AWWWWW....


Quick!

Someone call the WAH-bulance!

STAT!
Posted By: SIHW Re: Update - 02/13/09 06:21 PM
New blog post up. More pity party poor me crap. Can some one go copy it for me I can't do it from work.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 06:39 PM
Originally Posted by SIHW
New blog post up. More pity party poor me crap. Can some one go copy it for me I can't do it from work.

Ooh! Me too! Me too!

hurray
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 06:55 PM
Got it. DIL sent it.

Shall we send him some cheese to go with that whine?

rotflmao
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Update - 02/13/09 07:23 PM
rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Gray responded to that chick's email/comment.

Could he be more predictible? His radar must have gone off. Future OW in the vicinity......

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 07:26 PM
Really??? What what whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat??!!

And NO, it wasn't ME!! YUCK!!

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 08:50 PM
Quote
Okay, I read his blog. Charlotte, you are well rid of him.

Yep. Sad but true. Sad for HIM!!

rotflmao

Quote
Even had I not been following your thread, even if I had found his blog some other way, my assessment of his personality:

bitter, self-involved, narcissistic, doesn't learn from his mistakes, everything is someone else's fault, no wit or sense of humor. Emotional growth stunted at about age 15.

GOOD CALL!

Quote
Thank God you survived D-day and the following ones and found MB. Which could have had no effect on your life, had you not been made of strong stuff and good character.


Yep! Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....... blush

Quote
You have the sense of humor, the depth, and the character that held your marriage together.


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....... blush

Quote
He now has "that woman" who is temporarily the only female and the only ally in a world where everyone has it in for him.

LMAO!! At first I read "that woman who is only temporarily female."

rotflmao

Quote
And we all know that has to change soon ..... what you wanna bet they're already cannibalizing each other but that part won't make his blog just yet.


YEP!! But if you see them you can tell they have been cannibalizing each other. (especially with the missing limbs so apparent.)

rotflmao

Thank you, Belle of the Ball!!

hug




Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Update - 02/13/09 10:50 PM
Originally Posted by karmasrose
You'd think either Slag or Gray would know that neither of them is a good catch.

I'm like anyone else here, very much against affairs.

But if I was Gray I would at least pick someone DM and Shiny wouldn't be able to laugh TOO MUCH at (or pity).

I mean, really. It's an oxymoron I feel like coining. "If you're going to be stupid be smart."

LMAO!!

Yeah, I probably shouldn't laugh.

But it's just SOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNY!!!!

I can't help it!!!

rotflmao

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Update - 02/14/09 12:55 AM
Hmm...I wonder if this woman will really get a reply...


Maybe a new OW would knock him for a loop. stickout
It was a gorgeous, bright and Shiny day...

rotflmao

...and it was time to leave for court!!

I sent Shiny a gm text on the way in and called OWH because he wanted a wake-up call. Well, this was the 2nd call--he said he had just gone to bed on the first call and wanted to sleep for 30 minutes or so. I gave him 45. LOL!

Then:

Shiny calls and says "2 minutes."

LMAO! He was almost there.

I loaded my stuff in the car amongst heaps of new shirts in the back seat that Shiny had recently purchased. Yeah, probably because his biceps are getting bigger from all that working out, LOL!!

We stopped for doughnuts...well, for him. Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, LOL! I got chocolate milk. Doughnuts give me heartburn.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd, we're OFF!!

Talked a lot on the way there, not much about the case.

When we arrived...no sign of the enemy...LOL!! Shiny couldn't find a parking spot. The courthouse is in the middle of the square and there are a lot of eclectic little shops & eateries that surround it. Shiny didn't want to be rude and use their parking spaces, even though he could have.

There were a few spots on the other side of the courthouse but due to an early morning raid by the police...they had the area blocked off while they were searching a car for drugs. Nope. It wasn't Gray's. rotflmao

Shiny circled around again & then decided to drop me off with the two-wheeler full of files and my laptop so I could go in with it while he found a spot.

So I wheeled it up to the door and waited for him. The back door. Again. It's so funny...the back door thing. Every hearing we have gone in the back door. Even the first hearing, I drove by myself and went in the back door. Shiny, too! And OWH! Normally I always go in the front.

Okay, we went in to the elevator. Shiny loads me and files on while he takes the stairs to the 2nd floor to file a case.

YES, Ladies & Gentlemen!! Someone ELSE from Tiny Town actually found Shiny!! I'm still trying to find out how they found him because it wasn't from me unless it was one of my indirect hits!

rotflmao

We saw THEM! (yeah, the giant ants) outside talking to Palpitine before we went up.

So there I am on the 3rd floor guarding our files. It is REALLY small up there!! Teeny, tiny hallway that you pretty much almost have to walk single file in order to pass through.

The doorway to the stairwell was open. I didn't go into the courtroom, just waited for Shiny to come bounding up the steps. I knew the Grays and Slags of the world would take the elevator even though they weren't carrying anything. Lazy oafs.

I called OWH to see where he was. Mom and XW missed an exit and were running behind. They were more worried about that than we were, LOL!

OWH was about 15-20m away. I stayed on the phone with him for a bit and told him about bass player that he needs to hook up with. The Slag/Gray Brigade passed by me and then I dropped to a whisper. I was all animated and giggling, talking to OWH.

I said, "Dang!! What is taking Shiny so long down there? I gotta pee!! Oh, I know...he's probably surrounded by an admiring throng of ladies!"

rotflmao

OWH: grumble

Then I heard the door on the second floor... BOOM!!

Here he comes!! Look out Dark Side!! Then he appeared, smiling up the steps.

I ran down to use the potty and had a nice chat with a cleaning lady who was refilling the towels. (Probably one of the ones that was in the admiring throng surrounding Shiny when he was down there.)

rotflmao

Back upstairs.

The courtroom up there is very tiny as well. No normal tables for counsel, either. These were made more in a desk-type form, with a barrier that you could barely poke your feet through. I kept getting cramps when I tried to cross my legs, LOL!

Judge walks in. We stand. Be seated. We sit.

There was a group of ladies in there...(yeah, probably the same ones...well, you know! wink )

They were giving out awards and taking pictures. Took pics of the judge, too.

Somewhere in there...Mom, XW & OWH came creeping in...looking sheepish. But they didn't have to look sheepish. It was okay that they were a little late.

I could not see Gray, Slag or Palpitine...they were on the other side of Shiny. Darn! To be a fly on the wall when he saw XW!!

Of course we all know what his comment was. puke

That was RUDE and TOTALLY uncalled for, Gray!!

naughty

:twobyfour:
smirk

The following is an excerpt of the testimony:

Shiny: Your Honor, *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT*
*EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* Thank you, Your Honor.

*EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT*
*EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT* *EDIT*

Judge: and do not discuss your testimony with anyone, not even amongst yourselves.

This court is now in recess.

BLAM!

Shiny & I began to gather up the contents of the files. At one point...after I was placing files back in the box...he goes, "Good gurrrrrl." (his voice curls when he says girl.) LOL!

I wondered if Gray heard that. Apparently so, since I am a lap dog! rotflmao

We walked out past Slag in the hallway. OWH had left after waiting a while. Shiny loaded me, Mom, XW and 2-wheeler into elevator and he took the stairs.

"What happened to OWH?"

"Oh, he had things to do," Mom said.

Yeah, I suspect he left because it was such close quarters with Slag in that tiny hallway.

So we went down, everyone laughing and smiling as we walked...then Shiny...then more laughter and smiling...we all talked for a while then Shiny & I loaded up the trunk, removed jackets and then we left.

We saw Slag & Gray talking with Palpitine at the front of the courthouse.

"Wouldn't you like to get a picture of that?" Shiny remarked.

"Sure, if you want me to. Just drive around that way and I'll whip out my camera, LOL!"

So...smiles, laughter & Shiny singing all the way back. Shiny smiling like a chipmunk...or a chooch-munk, as my g'ma would say, LOL!

Sharp contrast to the other vehicle, I'm sure. rotflmao

Well, I guess the blog readers know all about that, LOL!

To be continued...

But we don't know when, because the judge didn't give us a date!!

rotflmao

Much to the chagrin of the Slagmeistress and Graymeat!!

rotflmao









RED ALERT!!

RED ALERT!!

SHIELDS UP!!


ODS has received an email from Gray.

He said, "I'm going to subpoena you, DIL and YDS. Be prepared. I hope this doesn't interfere with your job but sometimes life sucks."

faint

rotflmao
Um. Um. Um. grrr
What an a-hole!!!!


Why in heavens is he doing that to them? What do they have to do with ANYTHING???? I don't have a clue!

And OMG....lol I saw that Grey called you 'The Evil One' to the new groupie. LMAO... you got to him BUT GOOD,
Originally Posted by mojodiva
What an a-hole!!!!


Why in heavens is he doing that to them? What do they have to do with ANYTHING???? I don't have a clue!

And OMG....lol I saw that Grey called you 'The Evil One' to the new groupie. LMAO... you got to him BUT GOOD,

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

But I didn't DO anything!!

THEY drew First Blood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
grumble

That's the one you needed. I think!

The perfect site to visit immediately before and after viewing the blog - just in case your movement on the internet can be tracked......However, it's a line of toys.
Originally Posted by cinderella
The perfect site to visit immediately before and after viewing the blog - just in case your movement on the internet can be tracked......However, it's a line of toys.

rotflmao
XW called not long after ODS and DIL told me about the email.

We talked for 2 hours.

Mostly: rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

But she also told me that Gray had called YDS and grilled him about how XW had gotten to court.

Who drove her there?

Who the **** drove her there??

Since when are XW, XW and XW's Mom such buddy-buddies?

YDS: I dunno. I didn't even know XW was going!

LOL!

The only child who knows everything and knew the information Gray was seeking is DD. So he's going to subpoena ODS, DIL and YDS--who know nothing. LOL! But not DD. She doesn't exist to him. Poor kid.

So XW really feels vindicated. She said to be sure and thank Shiny because she is getting the day in court that she never got!

LOL!

Awwwwwwwww!!

That is one of the main reasons I wanted her there, too. Because she never did get to face Gray in court. I was hoping it would provide some closure for her.

hurray

YAY!! I feel SO GOOD that she feels so good!!!

This is just GREAT!!

I really hope I don't kick the bucket before everything is concluded. I want to see what happens!!!!









Ok wait...he's going to subpeona his children to find out who brought his frickin' ex-wife to court???? WTH???
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Ok wait...he's going to subpeona his children to find out who brought his frickin' ex-wife to court???? WTH???

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah!!

I would just LOVE to ask Gray:

Are we...

A little bonkers?

Off our rocker?

Crazy as a ****house rat?

A few nails loose? (because filter doesn't like "screws" LOL)

A few cards short of a deck?

Not firing on all cylinders?

Losing our marbles?

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao





Hmmm, could you subpoena gray's children first and then not use them? I know the one time I was subpoenaed, they never used me. I waited outside in the hall until they told me I could go home. (My bestfriend's husband was the one who subpoenaed me.) Would this keep them from having to endure him?

I still think the judge must think it bizarre that gray has his xwtb, xw, and gf all in the courtroom.

Why did xw not ever get to face gray in court?
I asked my grandmother what she thought of a man who has his XW and STBXW against him in court and he's sitting with his GF.

She said, "I think he's full of sh17"

It was hilarious coming from her.

Let us know what you can when you can, DM.
Originally Posted by cinderella
Hmmm, could you subpoena gray's children first and then not use them? I know the one time I was subpoenaed, they never used me. I waited outside in the hall until they told me I could go home. (My bestfriend's husband was the one who subpoenaed me.) Would this keep them from having to endure him?

I still think the judge must think it bizarre that gray has his xwtb, xw, and gf all in the courtroom.

Why did xw not ever get to face gray in court?

Well, the judge may decide their testimony is not relevant. What can they say, really?

We (XW and I) have not been discussing Gray with them, other than her asking if they have heard from their father...just as a mother asking the question, KWIM?

We have kept them out of it.

YDS I have seen once since this whole thing started...and okay...we (YDS) did talk about Gray...I'm sorry, I forgot about that. We talked about his addiction and how to get him help because we were wondering how to get him help. Me-out of concern for ODS, YDS, DIL, DD and DGS and YDS because he loves his father.

Other than that, YDS and I have kept in touch through emails and text messaging...on holidays and checking up on each other once in a while. He has been really busy with school and work...and his new wife as of late.

ODS...nope. We haven't been discussing his dad except for the same day YDS and I did, which was at DGS's b-day party.

That is the day I showed all the kids the little booklet Gray had made about divorce to give to them after he and XW were separated. It had cartoon figures depicting all of them.

DD...we have talked about her father and the rest of the Gray clan because the men are so weird, but not to a large extent. We mostly talk a lot of girl talk.

DIL has been the main one, besides XW, that I have talked to and kept up to speed as far as Gray's antics, when there was anything to report as far as court proceedings, etc. And vice versa, though she doesn't like to talk to Gray at all. She usually just puts her poker face on and tolerates him when he is around. She doesn't even really discuss much of what we talk about as far as Gray with ODS. Only on occasion, and of course lately, a LOT, since he's apparently lost his mind.

Otherwise we talk about everything under the sun besides Gray. Okay, and yeah, she has helped out with g'ma when I needed to go work on my case at Shiny's and stuff.

So she could testify to my rampant misbehavior and loose morals--like all of the young studs I have to abuse at my leisure in the parking garage while I'm on break during classes.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

And still be on the honor roll. Oh wait, that must mean I'm "entertaining" my chef instructors as well! Even the ones that swing the other way!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Of course XW and I talk about Gray but not as much as he thinks. Once we got all of the sordid exchanges out of the way he didn't dominate our conversations any more.

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Girl talk, she gives me advice, and we talk about the kids.

OOH! We so bad!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I'll bet the judge is curious as heck since he knows XW is on the list, and of course OWH. I don't know if he realizes that the two of them came of their own volition...no subpoenas there. But, maybe he does know. He's a smart dude, our judge.

LOL! I waved at him and his assistant on the way to the restroom that day because they were still down in his office on the 2nd floor and it has a big window in the door. He knows I got the transcript for the May hearing, he was there when I picked it up and I showed him and his assistant my favorite Shiny pic from the photo shoot that was the perfect one, IMO, for the site.

So he knows I'm off the wall. LMAO!! Yep, dass raht...jes a gurl from the sticks who's ready for the nuthatch!! A GOOD gurrrl, though!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Well, I'm a little uneasy about Gray and what he might do physically...just a little bit, though. As long as he is so loud and freaky I'm not so worried. If he gets real QUIET, though, that's when I might go ahead and load the shotgun instead of keeping the shell behind my head to where I have to fumble in the dark to load the damn thing if someone breaks in.

I mentioned it to Shiny the other day. He said, "Don't you think he'll come after ME first?"

Maybe...but YOU have an alarm system!

"Yeah, but it doesn't work during the day!"

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

Yeah, it would be a cold day in hell before he would be able to get the jump on Shiny, though. Just beware of any "ticking" deliveries 'cause that ain't the Tin Man's heart you'll be hearin'!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao









Originally Posted by karmasrose
I asked my grandmother what she thought of a man who has his XW and STBXW against him in court and he's sitting with his GF.

She said, "I think he's full of sh17"

It was hilarious coming from her.

Let us know what you can when you can, DM.

I would LOVE to have heard that coming from grandma!!

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao
Are you going to be ok financially for the next three months? I'm worried about you.

The house is paid off, so you won't lose the roof over your head at least, right?
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Are you going to be ok financially for the next three months? I'm worried about you.

The house is paid off, so you won't lose the roof over your head at least, right?

Hi mojo,

Well, I'm going to try and squeak by but with Mom's help I might...scratch that....I WILL make it! I just won't eat as much but heck, I could stand to lose 15 pounds...then my BMI will be just right.

The biggest worry is that dang January electric bill, it was over $500!!

Thank you for worrying about me, you are so SWEET!! Just knowing that there are people like you out there who really care will go a long way towards helping me survive.

Yeah, I'll just hop back a little and draw on the experience from when Gray was here...never any extra money, scratching by on the hair of my teeth to pay the bills...I can do it!!

It could always be worse so I'm not going to get all nervous about it...I can't afford to lose any more hair!! I think the hair I did lose is finally coming back in!! It wasn't a whole lot but if you look really close you can tell.

Well, actually, I don't want to get stressed and nervous about it because I don't want to blow out my thyroid. Last check it was stable and they did not have to raise my medication levels.

Yeah, if you really want to get down to the nitty-gritty, my thyroid is the reason Gray started his affair...BUT...he probably would have eventually anyway.

Here is a funny thing: When XW and I were talking the other night, she said that the woman he was having the affair with when he left her...well, that woman had a sick husband, too!!

Her husband nearly died!! He didn't, though, and they (the OW & OWH) ended up moving out of state. So that's when their affair ended.

Yikes! TEEF

I guess that needs to go in the book, too, eh? wink

I could always get Part I down and shop it to some publishers...but...Nah...then Gray would file to try and get half of the royalties and what-not!! LMAO!!

Thanks again!!

kiss

hug

Charlotte
Posted By: SIHW Re: And now, here's...the rest of the story.... - 02/16/09 06:40 AM
sorry DM...my internet has been iffy today due to storms....one minute i am online....the next i have no signal....thus i head to the hardware store for a sledgehammer for my modem.

anywho....so has anyone read the puketastic puke new blog entry on stupid and his cheap valentines day....aparently he couldn't even afford to buy slag a card...sent her an e-card.....how debonaire of him. And she got crafty with glue, paper, and pen (OMG she can write...now she's just mostly an airhead). althought somehow they made it to the opera.....could have sold your tickets and gotten some of your rent money back [censored]. wish i could have been there to toss water ballons down on them and they exited. grin
Originally Posted by cinderella
The perfect site to visit immediately before and after viewing the blog - just in case your movement on the internet can be tracked......However, it's a line of toys.

OMG I finally clicked on that link... DS7a just got that for his birthday!!!!! rotflmao

It's awesome cool!!!!!!!!
Charlotte, when the ordeal is over, we will have a cyber party!
Yeah his last entry is pretty puketastic-- but mostly its laughingly pathetic.
His blog, which has almost 99% of the time been about his old man hobby, has suddenly become a vehicle to try to show up and get back at our girl. She got under his skin and it pisses him off to no end to be out of control of the situation, so he's striking out.

Knowing that none of this really bothers our dancing lady and that he's spinning in a pile of his own excrement just gives me the warm fuzzies. I love it.

But then Im wicked, wicked, wicked.
That makes me wicked, too, then.

It always gives me great pleasure to see others suffer consequences. It's entertaining to read the venom he spews at DM...

How stupid does he think people are?
I guess he is just another wayward who needs to get a mirror....so they can look in it and see who caused most of the damage. Maybe then they can figure out no one died and made them God. puke

Idgit-headed waywards are subject to being hurled upon! puke

However, Charlotte is looking like a rose!!!! hurray



Originally Posted by mojodiva
Yeah his last entry is pretty puketastic-- but mostly its laughingly pathetic.
His blog, which has almost 99% of the time been about his old man hobby, has suddenly become a vehicle to try to show up and get back at our girl. She got under his skin and it pisses him off to no end to be out of control of the situation, so he's striking out.

Knowing that none of this really bothers our dancing lady and that he's spinning in a pile of his own excrement just gives me the warm fuzzies. I love it.

But then Im wicked, wicked, wicked.

Just took a spin over there as well & spent more time skimming through. Wow! I'm so impressed with the artistic quality of the girlfriend. And her high class culture. She went to the Opera? Why, she can't be a skankyho; she's too refeened.

"Methinks the grayman doth protest too much." Who is he posting for? Nobody comments on his blog. He probably has one reader - the OW. He's too old to play Rebel Without A Clue.


Posted By: SIHW Re: And now, here's...the rest of the story.... - 02/16/09 08:00 PM
Not to thread jack but lets talk about karma.....this is sad sorry for the tratments she will have to endure if the test comes back positive for cancer.

My XH's wife(ow) went to the Dr. and they found 2 lumps in her breast. Any comments?
Posted By: SIHW Re: And now, here's...the rest of the story.... - 02/17/09 06:53 AM
OK why are men so stupid?


VD part 2 is up on stupids blog (yes i abbreviated it as it seems appropriat for the topic). He goes more into detail about how now he bough slag flowers.....when before he couldn't afford anything....she brings over a $5 pizza because she is late but they stop at mc donalds (yeah big spender there....knows how to treat a lady)on the way to the opera....(wow...-_- what a great date)...but yet his picture of slag (yes all he posted her picture)has her sitting there with a pint of beer in a glass clearly marked HARD ROCK CAFE.

In the immortal words of Jeff Dunhams puppet Walter I have 1 thing to say....[censored]. He seriously screws himself over more than once in this section of blog. But then again he is on perscription drugs so he doesn't have to pay attention to what he's posted. I nominate him for the Darwin awards....anyone else?
Slag looks like the living dead.
Grey REALLY IS into zombies.
Quote
but yet his picture of slag (yes all he posted her picture)has her sitting there with a pint of beer in a glass clearly marked HARD ROCK CAFE.

Because he's posting for DM's benefit... look... I'm not spending any money... I don't have any money... I'm broke... My pockets are empty... poor me... I'm so poor... my slag is poor too... we're poor... did I mention I have no money?

He's worried about paying the rent, the cable bill and electricity but he's going to the movies, the opera, and the Hard Rock Cafe.

What a dufus.
Posted By: SIHW Re: And now, here's...the rest of the story.... - 02/17/09 10:39 PM
Ok took a nautious second look at slags picture. Is it just me or is there a ring on that left hand on the table?
Posted By: SIHW Re: And now, here's...the rest of the story.... - 02/17/09 10:43 PM
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Slag looks like the living dead.
Grey REALLY IS into zombies.

It's called Necrophelia nowadays. laugh
Gray is SO going to get [censored] by the judge.

Judge: How are you doing, sir?

Gray: I'm poor! DM is soooo mean! cry

DM: -submits evidence- (You should keep evidence from his blog! That he's going out to expensive places and whatnot, never know when it will come in handy)

Judge: You're poor but you take your GF to Hard Rock Cafe, and buying her a ring, and...

Gray: Um, ahh...
Originally Posted by karmasrose
Gray is SO going to get [censored] by the judge.

Judge: How are you doing, sir?

Gray: I'm poor! DM is soooo mean! cry

DM: -submits evidence- (You should keep evidence from his blog! That he's going out to expensive places and whatnot, never know when it will come in handy)

Judge: You're poor but you take your GF to Hard Rock Cafe, and buying her a ring, and...

Gray: Um, ahh...

LOL! Yep!

Yes, I am sooooooooooooooooooooo mean! I had the NERVE to file for divorce!! OOOOOOOOOH!!!!

Yep, Shiny's got it goin' on wit' dat...he had the bulk of it printed before the trial...I'm surprised Gray didn't see it, he had to walk right by us and it was in full view...him in his zombie make-up.

I'll print the latest entries next time I am at Shiny's...I'm running low on black ink again, LOL! I still need to print out the latest Slag purchases to give Shiny for OWH, too.
Originally Posted by SIHW
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Slag looks like the living dead.
Grey REALLY IS into zombies.

It's called Necrophelia nowadays. laugh

rotflmao
Originally Posted by SIHW
Ok took a nautious second look at slags picture. Is it just me or is there a ring on that left hand on the table?

Yes, it is. They exchanged rings quite a while back. Before OWH's first hearing last summer, as a matter of fact...which made me wonder if they didn't exchange vows when they were in Vegas--just for show until they could do the real thing, KWIM?

I'm sure that all of the little wedding chapels, (or some, at least)--will do symbolic ceremonies for couples as well as the real thing. Too bad we can't track those, though!!

Darn!!
Originally Posted by princessmeggy
Quote
but yet his picture of slag (yes all he posted her picture)has her sitting there with a pint of beer in a glass clearly marked HARD ROCK CAFE.

Because he's posting for DM's benefit... look... I'm not spending any money... I don't have any money... I'm broke... My pockets are empty... poor me... I'm so poor... my slag is poor too... we're poor... did I mention I have no money?

He's worried about paying the rent, the cable bill and electricity but he's going to the movies, the opera, and the Hard Rock Cafe.

What a dufus.

Yep!

"Rebel Without a Clue!!"

I forget who posted that but it is a GREAT description!!

rotflmao
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Slag looks like the living dead.
Grey REALLY IS into zombies.

LOL! Yep!!

She looks like "Old Creeping Judas!!"

rotflmao
Originally Posted by SIHW
OK why are men so stupid?


VD part 2 is up on stupids blog (yes i abbreviated it as it seems appropriat for the topic). He goes more into detail about how now he bough slag flowers.....when before he couldn't afford anything....she brings over a $5 pizza because she is late but they stop at mc donalds (yeah big spender there....knows how to treat a lady)on the way to the opera....(wow...-_- what a great date)...but yet his picture of slag (yes all he posted her picture)has her sitting there with a pint of beer in a glass clearly marked HARD ROCK CAFE.

In the immortal words of Jeff Dunhams puppet Walter I have 1 thing to say....[censored]. He seriously screws himself over more than once in this section of blog. But then again he is on perscription drugs so he doesn't have to pay attention to what he's posted. I nominate him for the Darwin awards....anyone else?

Yeah, I noticed that. In fact, I told you that, LMAO!! About the glass, anyway. I didn't think too hard on the other stuff because I normally skim it and then send it on to Shiny.

Yes, Darwin Award...most definitely!! I could see him blundering his way into a nomination for that!!

rotflmao
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Originally Posted by mojodiva
Yeah his last entry is pretty puketastic-- but mostly its laughingly pathetic.
His blog, which has almost 99% of the time been about his old man hobby, has suddenly become a vehicle to try to show up and get back at our girl. She got under his skin and it pisses him off to no end to be out of control of the situation, so he's striking out.

Knowing that none of this really bothers our dancing lady and that he's spinning in a pile of his own excrement just gives me the warm fuzzies. I love it.

But then Im wicked, wicked, wicked.

Just took a spin over there as well & spent more time skimming through. Wow! I'm so impressed with the artistic quality of the girlfriend. And her high class culture. She went to the Opera? Why, she can't be a skankyho; she's too refeened.

"Methinks the grayman doth protest too much." Who is he posting for? Nobody comments on his blog. He probably has one reader - the OW. He's too old to play Rebel Without A Clue.

Nope, doesn't bother me one bit.

Yeah, I didn't even DO anything and I got under his skin, LMAO!!

Made friends with XW...hired Shiny...LOL!!

I know Shiny really gets under his skin and he barely got a taste of the appetizer last week. Apparently he forgot what a good pantsing he got from Shiny when he was on the stand back in May!!

rotflmao

He is in BIG BIG BIG trouble!!! The more stupid stuff he does, the more rage he puts into Shiny. He is lucky that Shiny doesn't run with the "concrete shoes" crowd!!! LMAO!!!

"Rebel Without a Clue"

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

OMG!! That is so HILARIOUS!!

DIL REALLY LOVES your description!!!

rotflmao



No way....he's too stupid to get nominated.

I think I visited him between checking out a link on porcine strss syndrome and gelatinous vaginal discharge. That should confuse him.

Wonder what slag-ho sees in this man? Let's face it. It isn't the looks or the intelligence or the good taste or the manners. Or, to hear him tell it, the money.
I'm giving Slag another name.

"Ed"

Her eyes seem to be spaced far apart like Ed from Ed Edd n Eddy...She really doesn't look all that smart either. sick
Originally Posted by karmasrose
I'm giving Slag another name.

"Ed"

Her eyes seem to be spaced far apart like Ed from Ed Edd n Eddy...She really doesn't look all that smart either. sick
wink
Where's the "Snort" emoticom?

Love it! whistle
Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!
Oh...and my 4 year old scraps better than she does.
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!

LOL!

Yeah, but she's not a "Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania," that's for sure!!

She's from some other planet, Janet. wink

rotflmao
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!

LOL!

Yeah, but she's not a "Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania," that's for sure!!

She's from some other planet, Janet. wink

rotflmao

Is she from Columbia? Is her favorite color Magenta?
Originally Posted by CuthbertCalculus
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!

LOL!

Yeah, but she's not a "Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania," that's for sure!!

She's from some other planet, Janet. wink

rotflmao

Is she from Columbia? Is her favorite color Magenta?

rotflmao

Well, hot patootie! I don't know!

She sure likes to run with Riff Raff, though!!

rotflmao

Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by CuthbertCalculus
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!

LOL!

Yeah, but she's not a "Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania," that's for sure!!

She's from some other planet, Janet. wink

rotflmao

Is she from Columbia? Is her favorite color Magenta?

rotflmao

Well, hot patootie! I don't know!

She sure likes to run with Riff Raff, though!!

rotflmao

Rif would've NEVER!



Still, it clears up some lingering questions I had...we KNEW it wasn't you...but little did we realize how NOT you it was...you just don't have the right equipment, dar!




Sing it with me now:

THERE'S A LIGHT
OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
THERE'S A LI-HI-HI-ITE
BURNIN' IN THE FIREPLA-ACE
THERE'S A LI-I-ITE
LI-I-ITE
IN THE DARKNESS
OF EVERy-BODY'S LIFE



or my other favorite:



From the day he was born, he was trouble.
He was the thorn in his mother's side.
She tried in vain, but he never caused her nothing but shame.
He left home the day she died...

From the day she was gone, all he wanted
Was rock'n'roll, porn and a motorbike
Shooting up junk
He was a low-down, cheap little punk.
Taking everyone for a ride...

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
What a guy
Makes you cry
Und I did.

Everybody shoved him, I very nearly loved him
I said hey listen to me, stay sane inside insanity
But he locked the door and threw away the key...

But he must been drawn into something
Making him warn me in a note which reads (what's it say, what's it say?)
"I'm outta my head, O hurry or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds..."

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
What a guy
Makes you cry
Und I did.
laugh
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
Originally Posted by CuthbertCalculus
Originally Posted by Dancing_Machine
[quote=Dealan-de]Char!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO TELL US THAT THE SLAG IS A TRANSVESTITE????

OMGosh! Trannie love at it's highest!

LOL!

Yeah, but she's not a "Sweet Transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania," that's for sure!!

She's from some other planet, Janet. wink

rotflmao

Is she from Columbia? Is her favorite color Magenta?

rotflmao

Well, hot patootie! I don't know!

She sure likes to run with Riff Raff, though!!

rotflmao

Rif would've NEVER!



Still, it clears up some lingering questions I had...we KNEW it wasn't you...but little did we realize how NOT you it was...you just don't have the right equipment, dar!




Sing it with me now:

THERE'S A LIGHT
OVER AT THE FRANKENSTEIN PLACE
THERE'S A LI-HI-HI-ITE
BURNIN' IN THE FIREPLA-ACE
THERE'S A LI-I-ITE
LI-I-ITE
IN THE DARKNESS
OF EVERy-BODY'S LIFE



or my other favorite:



From the day he was born, he was trouble.
He was the thorn in his mother's side.
She tried in vain, but he never caused her nothing but shame.
He left home the day she died...

From the day she was gone, all he wanted
Was rock'n'roll, porn and a motorbike
Shooting up junk
He was a low-down, cheap little punk.
Taking everyone for a ride...

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
What a guy
Makes you cry
Und I did.

Everybody shoved him, I very nearly loved him
I said hey listen to me, stay sane inside insanity
But he locked the door and threw away the key...

But he must been drawn into something
Making him warn me in a note which reads (what's it say, what's it say?)
"I'm outta my head, O hurry or I may be dead.
They mustn't carry out their evil deeds..."

When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy you knew he was a no-good kid
But when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
What a guy
Makes you cry
Und I did.
[/quote]

Well, that's fine. I like my equipment just the way it is!! LOL!!

Yeah, he could have let me know, really, it would have saved me a lot of trouble!! But then...I wouldn't have met all you great people!!

(Heh heh hehhhh...it would have saved HIM a lot of trouble, too! wink More trouble than you can shake a stick at!!)

Okay...second verse!!

Sing it, Rif!!

"The darkness must go...down the river, of night's dreaming....

Flow morphia slow, let the sun and light come streaming...into my liiii-iii-iiiife....into my liiii-iii-iii-iii-iii-iiiiiiife!"

Chorus!!!!

Yeah...I love the other one, too...I still remember the replies...

Dr. Scott:

From the day he was born...

Not the night but the day!

He was trouble...

Not Monopoly but Trouble!

He was the thorn...

Not the rose but the thorn!

In his mother's side...

Not the back but the side!

She tried in vain...

Not the artery but the vein!

But he never caused her nothing but shame...

Shame, shame, shame!

Heeeee left hoooome the day she died...

It's Rockin' Scott!!

rotflmao

And here's a song I WON'T be singing to Gray:

But a deltoid and a biiiiicep!
A hot groin and a tricep...
Makes me...Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - SHAKE!
Makes me wanna take Charles Atlas by the.............ha-aaa-aaa-aaand...

In just seven days,

And seven nights! wink

Ohhhhhh, Baby!!


I can make you a maaaaaaaaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaan....

I don't want no...dissension....

Just...dynamic tension...

Janet: I'm a muscle faaa-aaan!

In just seven days...

And seven nights!

I can make you a maaaaaaaaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aaan....

DIG IT!! If you caaa-aaa-aaa-aaan...

In just seven days...

And seven nights!

I can make you a man...

*cue wedding march*

rotflmao
Re. Gray's blog:

"It's astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I've got to keep control ...

I remember doing the TIme Warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling
Let's do the time warp again...
Let's do the time warp again!

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no no no not at all
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
Well-secluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip
You're there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation
Let's do the Time Warp again!


Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again
Let's do the Time Warp again! "
Originally Posted by jayne241
Re. Gray's blog:

"It's astounding, time is fleeting
Madness takes its toll
But listen closely, not for very much longer
I've got to keep control ...

I remember doing the TIme Warp
Drinking those moments when
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling
Let's do the time warp again...
Let's do the time warp again!

It's just a jump to the left
And then a step to the right
With your hands on your hips
You bring your knees in tight
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,
Let's do the Time Warp again!

It's so dreamy, oh fantasy free me
So you can't see me, no no no not at all
In another dimension, with voyeuristic intention
Well-secluded, I see all
With a bit of a mind flip
You're there in the time slip
And nothing can ever be the same
You're spaced out on sensation, like you're under sedation
Let's do the Time Warp again!


Well I was walking down the street just a-having a think
When a snake of a guy gave me an evil wink
He shook me up, he took me by surprise
He had a pickup truck and the devil's eyes.
He stared at me and I felt a change
Time meant nothing, never would again
Let's do the Time Warp again! "

LMAO!!

GOOD one!!

And so true!!

Dang! Now I want to go home and get my DVD so I can do audience participation for my grandma. She already thinks I'm nuts...sss'ok!!!!

rotflmao

"I'm a wild and an untamed thing!

I'm a bee with a deadly sting!!

You get a hit and your mind goes PING!

Your heart pumps and your blood will sing!

So let the party and the sounds rock on...

I'm gonna shake it 'til the rock has gone...

Rose tint my world, keep me safe from the trouble and pain!"

And THEN:

Riff-"Frank-n-furter...it's all over...your mission is a failure...your lifestyle's too extreme...

I'm your new commander...you now are my prisoner...we return to Transylvania...prepare the transmit beeeeeeeeeeeeam!!"

Wait!! I can explain!!

(This BETTER be GOOD!!)

Don't forget the "Where the (#*&$(#&$ is Denton bit.

I grew up in a Denton.
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
Don't forget the "Where the (#*&$(#&$ is Denton bit.

I grew up in a Denton.

Yay, Denton! The Home of Happiness!!

Which of course brings to mind lyrics from Shock Treatment...I had to look these up, I don't remember them as well as Rocky lyrics. Well, except for "Little Black Dress" and "B-tchin' in the Kitchen!" wink

Denton, USA

Neely: You'll find happy hearts and smiling faces and tolerance for the ethnic races.... in Dentonnnnn.
Harry: You'll find a rambling rose and a picket fence.
Emily: Tenderness, and innocence in Denton
Cop: You'll find conference rooms And a children's playground.
Denton is a real okay town!
Civic pride and civic duty and Denton girls are (wolf-whistle) full of beauty.

Cheerleaders: You may call us the goodie goodie two shoes
Were here to cheer you with the good news
That D - E - N - T - O - N gets T - E - N
That's ten out of ten!
Ralph: If you're looking for a life of leisure
Macy: Your gonna get a whole lot to please ya
Ralph: Again and again
Macy: And again and again
Ralph and Macy: And again!

Audience: Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth and you're America's truth
And you're Denton Denton USA!

Emily: This is the Mecca of America
Harry: The Bethlehem of the west
Emily: This is the birthplace of the virtuous.
Harry: The home of happiness
Macy: Leisure wise, we're sure you will adapt.
Ralph: Enjoy your stay, have a happy holiday.
Cheerleaders: And we'll all put Denton Denton on the map.

Audience: Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth and you're America's truth
And you're Denton Denton USA!
Denton, Denton, you've got no pretension
You're where the heart is you're okay!
Denton, Denton, I'd just like to mention
You're the home of youth and you're America's truth
And you're Denton Denton USA!

wink

grin
Oh yeah, found one for Gray...I always liked the lyrics in this one:

Farley: You're a loser, an abomination in the eyes of any
sensitive man

Brad: And you're a blind alley cruiser
Always heading down a losing strait
Dreaming that you're screaming at fate
You're a dead end, dead beat, nowhere mister with a
kiss like a Mississippi alligator's sister

Farley: I took as much of you as any man can
You've lost your heart

Brad: You've lost your cause

Farley: You lost your baby when you lost your balls
You've lost your mind
You've lost your grip so say bye-bye

Brad: We lost our mom
We lost our Dad and if I'm losing you, well, that's too bad

Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die

Brad: You're a failure, a malformation in the guise of many,
and also ran

Farley: And you're a weeper and a whiner
Always treading on the toes of the great
Generally spreading your weight
You're a spiteful, hateful, asinine creature
A pupil with no scruples who knew better than the teacher

Brad: I took as much of you as any man can

Farley: You've lost your heart

Brad: You've lost your cause

Farley: You lost your baby when you lost your balls
You lost your mind when you lost your grip so say bye-bye

Brad: We've lost our home, our family
You've lost compassion, now you're losing me

Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die

Brad: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die

Farley: Well, the best thing you could ever do is die.
Way too many of us know way too much about the Rocky Horror Picture Show! How many of you posting lyrics ever actually went to a midnight screening and carried your Scott TP, flashlights, newspapers, etc. and ran up in front of the screen to do the dances? How many of us actually wore the costumes?

[show of hands]
blush

I have never seen the movie

faint
Charlotte, do you thing Gray is reading this thread? I wonder if it's a possibility based on the editing that I think he's doing.

And, Gray, if that is what you are doing, that rose may be a rose but it sure isn't pretty.
Originally Posted by cinderella
Charlotte, do you thing Gray is reading this thread? I wonder if it's a possibility based on the editing that I think he's doing.

And, Gray, if that is what you are doing, that rose may be a rose but it sure isn't pretty.

Yeah, I was looking at what he changed when I was at Shiny's. I don't know. It's possible that he remembered XW's true age.

LOL!!

I noticed that he added to the "her attorney is a good actor" line.

And added that OWH has the same attorney. As if we are in cahoots or something. :RollieEyes:

rotflmao

I don't know what else is similar. I didn't spend an extreme amount of time looking at it today. Other fish to fry, no time for Graymeat.

rotflmao

Care to share? wink

Hey Gray, if you're reading this, you made a big mistake.

Too bad your Corpse AP is all you're getting out of this.

I LOVE the RHPS. We watch it EVERY new years eve since from when we first got married. I have never seen the stage show.

I WANNA!!!!

Now off to see the blog.
Oh yeah, Flick has the same hobby and I am currently studying for it. Knock off the 'old man hobby' remarks rotflmao
Originally Posted by lildoggie
I LOVE the RHPS. We watch it EVERY new years eve since from when we first got married. I have never seen the stage show.

I WANNA!!!!

Now off to see the blog.
Oh yeah, Flick has the same hobby and I am currently studying for it. Knock off the 'old man hobby' remarks rotflmao

I've never seen the stage show but the midnight showings used to be a BLAST!!

There was a really old theater in Houston that used to show it, before it turned into a bookstore!! sigh

It had a giant crystal chandelier and sweeping aisles...velvet curtains, a balcony....WAAAAAAY cool!!

I miss those!! Yeah, the megaplex theatres are convenient but they just have NO SOUL!!!!!

Originally Posted by Bellevue
Way too many of us know way too much about the Rocky Horror Picture Show! How many of you posting lyrics ever actually went to a midnight screening and carried your Scott TP, flashlights, newspapers, etc. and ran up in front of the screen to do the dances? How many of us actually wore the costumes?

[show of hands]

LMAO! Don't forget the toast and the playing cards!!

And the water guns!!

They let us get away with a LOT at the midnight showings we used to attend.

Dressing up...well...my BF and I used to just dress crazy-wild. BUT...I DID dress up as Frank-n-Furter one Halloween. It was fun!! My BF did the "Boss" tattoo on my arm for me. I still have pictures somewhere. LOL!!

I used to joke that I was going to dress as Frank-n-furter at my wedding and strut up the aisle...throw open the cape...

and well...you know what comes next!! LMAO!!



I saw the stage show many moons ago. The audience was just as raucous in there as the movie theatre!

sorry to butt in to your thread. I love your posts, Charlotte.
Originally Posted by faithful follower
I saw the stage show many moons ago. The audience was just as raucous in there as the movie theatre!

sorry to butt in to your thread. I love your posts, Charlotte.

LOL!! I'll try to catch it one of these days. I don't know how often it is in Houston, though.

Aw, you're not butting in!! Everyone is welcome here!! Well, maybe there are a couple of exceptions...I don't need to mention their names...we know who they are, LOL!!

Thank you, ff!!
I used to go once a weekend and dress up and do my friend's brother's makeup. I was a teen mom by then and my friends took turns bbysitting so I could go, since I was working and going to school they felt I needed the night off. It was really nice of them. A couple times my son's dad (ok, my now FWH) would stay with him and I'd head out with the group. Fun times.

THe 'old man hobby' crack is really my own little pissiness with the hobby...two of my FWH's OWs also are into that thing.

Oh...I never mentioned I actually saw a picture of that one OW on mySpace. I laughed my freaking A$$ off. THis particular OW was an internet liasion (I think some phone stuff and letters as well)-- he never met her in person. Well, she must have bamboozled FWH with an old, old picture because HOLY HELL her new picture makes Slag look good. You know that movie, Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher? With the really heavy goth dude? Yeah, put a rack on the goth guy and you'll have one of his OWs.

I didn't have the heart to show him.
Quote
he never met her in person. Well, she must have bamboozled FWH with an old, old picture because HOLY HELL her new picture makes Slag look good. You know that movie, Butterfly Effect with Ashton Kutcher? With the really heavy goth dude? Yeah, put a rack on the goth guy and you'll have one of his OWs.

:MrEEk:
Originally Posted by Bellevue
Way too many of us know way too much about the Rocky Horror Picture Show! How many of you posting lyrics ever actually went to a midnight screening and carried your Scott TP, flashlights, newspapers, etc. and ran up in front of the screen to do the dances? How many of us actually wore the costumes?

[show of hands]

(hand up)

I quit counting how many times I'd been after the 25th time...

*hand up*

midnight showing in Chapel Hill, NC!
If I buy it, will you come?




BTW, you are all invited to a 'ladies only' showing of "Mamma Mia" on March 17. This will be a sing-along and costumes are encouraged!
OMG. Midnight showing in Cincinnati, downtown, every Friday night through years of graduate school. Yes, newspaper, cards, squirt gun. Yes, Time Warp. I have no clue how many times.

There's a theater down here in south Texas - in Webster - that runs a midnight show on the weekend...I wonder if I could get some others to go?? dance2

- M
Originally Posted by miriam123
OMG. Midnight showing in Cincinnati, downtown, every Friday night through years of graduate school. Yes, newspaper, cards, squirt gun. Yes, Time Warp. I have no clue how many times.

There's a theater down here in south Texas - in Webster - that runs a midnight show on the weekend...I wonder if I could get some others to go?? dance2

- M

Heck yeah!! Count me EEN!!!

That would be SO FUN!!!!!!!

Charlotte
How far is Webster from San Antone?

Different genre, but I'll have to bring a Wookie...would love to see the look on his fuzzy face...
BTW, Char dear - Paul Harvey passed away last weekend.

Very sad, but he lived to a nice old age.
Char, have you seen "the blog" today? He posted a picture of you.

Yeah,he even gave the picture file a rotten name to tweak her with.

He is *really* working hard to get under her skin every chance he gets. I bet he thinks about her every day- when he wakes, when he eats, when he drinks.....it must drive him crazier than he already is....

I think its hilarious.
Originally Posted by mojodiva
.
.....it must drive him crazier than he already is....

rotflmao

Now WHAT does he think our lovely friend must think these days? We all know she is not delusional though someone else might be!
Gawd.

He is so patheTIC (empasis on the TICK bit).

If he gets diagnosed with one more ailment, I'm taking a road trip and putting him out of OUR misery.

I know someone in that area with a backhoe I can borrow, too.

I've seen e coli with more depth of character than he has.
KIMMY!!!!!



rotflmao
rotflmao
rotflmao
rotflmao
rotflmao
Y'all, look what I just thought up!



;;;;;;:twobyfour: <--US
rotflmao <-- the pukatroid patheTIC
An extra credit project for one of your culinary classes. Get a load of this.....turning veggies into music instruments.

As I see it, you could become the Pied Piper of Provisions!

kiss
Cinder, I don't know how you manage to find this stuff.....

Charlotte, your WH is causing as much trouble as mine. Would you mind talking with me and give me some pointers? My atty is not nearly as good as yours. If things keep going the way they are going for me, I may be wearing a striped jumpsuit soon.

Originally Posted by ChaiLover
Cinder, I don't know how you manage to find this stuff.....

Charlotte, your WH is causing as much trouble as mine. Would you mind talking with me and give me some pointers? My atty is not nearly as good as yours. If things keep going the way they are going for me, I may be wearing a striped jumpsuit soon.

Hi Chai,

Yeah, I've been busy but I did catch up a bit on your thread yesterday. Man!! Sure do wish you lived here so you could have Shiny, too!! (Shiny is Legend.) LOL! wink

I'd be happy to talk with you, I don't know if I can help but I'll sure try!!

Charlotte
Originally Posted by cinderella
An extra credit project for one of your culinary classes. Get a load of this.....turning veggies into music instruments.

As I see it, you could become the Pied Piper of Provisions!

kiss

WAY cool!! I can make one for my sister, the music major, LOL!!


Chai....when you don't have a life and you tend to be a bit of an insomniac, you can find a lot of trivia and unimportant stuff...you know, Youtube has this column on the right side of the screen and that column lists all sorts of semi-related videos...well, one thing leads to another and you find bizarramundo things. Being an ADD adult helps, too.

Charlotte, can you ship Shiny to Chai for a few months? She needs a miracle.

These days, I'm gorging on Leonard Cohen....played a video for my daughter tonight....the 18 year old girl commented about his sexy voice....Ladies, the girl is dead on right....it's the sexiest voice...even at 74 (his current age) he sounds sexy. He is touring the US and Canada this year for the first time in 15 years. I am dying to go....about to stroke out I want to go so badly. No concerts within 6 hours of me....Anyone wanna meet me in Chicago for a Leonard Cohen concert. Tickets for a second show go on sale in the morning. They start at about $75 apiece.

The alternative is to pay double the face value from a scalper for the show one hour from The Diplomat who isn't getting a clue as to how BADLY I NEED to see this man in person!!!!
charlotte,

Can I email you?

thanks!!
Chai's IRS audit is today! Send prayers!!! pray
I love Leonard Cohen!!! So does my BIL.

He's Canadian, ya know.

Sorry, having lived in Canada, I picked up the habit of pointing out whenever someone famous is Canadian. Like every time Michael J Fox is mention. Or Paul Shaffer on Dave Letterman. Or William Shatner. Or the guy that invented insulin.

ETA: prayers for Chai. pray
YES! Cohen is Canadian! And his music is soooooo seductive sounding even if he isn't singing about seductive things. He was a poet first and his song lyrics stand alone as poems. I am listening to him as I type. I showed my daughter the official video for 'Dance Me To the End Of Love' and she said he has a sexy voice. faint I swoon!

Now, if I could just get The Diplomat to agree to a Cohen concert (at 74yo, he is doing his first US tour in 15 years), I am sure he (The Diplomat) wouldn't get much sleep afterwards. blush
Aha! I have found it! Here it is!
Hey, Thanks!! One less thang!!!

Hee hee!!

Yeah, I stared the thread for OWH last July...I used to have it connected to mine but it was taking up too much precious "sig" room, LMAO!!!!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another typo and I can't correct it!!!

That should be STARTED, not STARED, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG!!! I feel like running around the block about 50 times!!!!!

Already so wired for OWH's trial!!! Gee! I wasn't THIS wired for mine!!

LOL!!!!!!

It's going to be tough keeping HIM calm when I am so wired myself, LOL!!!

So...if anyone's nearby...just mosey on over to the courthouse to watch the show!!!

Serious BOO-TAY will be kicked!! And kicked again!!

Anyone know of any "updates" in any certain areas?

I saw a little one yesterday under the latest one.

Surely he will have something to say because he can't keep his trap shut?

I know he will afterward!!

Where's my bulletproof vest???!!!
check you email
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody...so I'm reading your thread, DM. On page 91. Thanks for sharing your story and please keep updating.
Just heard from Shiny cementing things for tomorrow. This is gonna be SO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!

AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Charlotte,

you have inspired me, I start belly dancing in 2 weeks!!!

Any advice?
Originally Posted by lildoggie
Hey Charlotte,

you have inspired me, I start belly dancing in 2 weeks!!!

Any advice?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy to hear that!!!!

(insert dancing smiley here!!!!)

Yes. Keep your back straight. One of the first things your teacher should show you will be the correct posture.

That will be: Keep your knees soft, NEVER lock your knees!! Tuck in your bottom (tilting your pelvis forward) and raise your rib cage but relax your shoulders. This should give you a straight back, no curves!! Curves not good! You must protect your back!

Let me know if you would like to know any more!! wink

Charlotte
Okay, gettin' ready to ROCK-N-ROLL!!!

New model rolling off the showroom floor....It's....

CHARLOTTE'S CURVETTE!!!!!!

LOOK OUT, BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Puts the Slagmobile to SHAME, lemme tell ya'!!

Right down to the cute little shoes with the bow in the instep...someone once called them "Blondie" shoes....that's a great name for them!!! Hee hee heeeeeeeee!!!

wink

Charlotte
OMG! Keep us posted Charlotte. Can't wait to hear how much backside Shiney kicks!!!
Bump because I'm on page 162.......
Originally Posted by Holyheart
Bump because I'm on page 162.......

Wow!! You are getting close!! I'd better hurry and add more, LOL!!

Charlotte
Am I missing the update on what happened or am I too early?
Nevermind I found it!

And darn it, I couldnt edit my other post...grrrrr..
Silly M'Diva...

The Idjits have had a no edit rule since the dawn of I'ville.

It's the rest o'the board that's jest now catchin' up.

Char,

You can either have grits or BE G.R.I.T.S.

You WILL FOREVER BE G.R.I.T.S.
OK Char, I must have missed something somewhere. Where is the update?
It's on the praw for OWH thread, Chai.
That would be PRAY, not praw...

what would a praw be...a cross between a praline and a crawdaddy?
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
That would be PRAY, not praw...

what would a praw be...a cross between a praline and a crawdaddy?

grin No, silly, crawfish. They have them in N'orleans. They stuff the crafish with pecans and roll it in sugar.

Thanks De. I'll look on the other thread....
A crawdaddy IS a crawdad or crawfish.

We all call 'em crawdaddys where I come from.
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
That would be PRAY, not praw...

what would a praw be...a cross between a praline and a crawdaddy?

Maybe it's an ittybitty PRAWN?
Originally Posted by Dealan-de
A crawdaddy IS a crawdad or crawfish.

We all call 'em crawdaddys where I come from.


You know, that thought did come to me after I posted. It was one of those "duh" moments.
Originally Posted by cinderella
Maybe it's an ittybitty PRAWN?

It could be that too.
I KNOW!!!!!!!

It's a prawn shaped attached to the prow of a boat!!!

rotflmao
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 05:41 AM
Looks like Shiny made quite an impression on Gray the other day. I imagine so since OWxH said he was like a frog under a heat lamp.

Excuse me for a minute...

rotflmao rotflmao rotflmao

I imagine it was a LOT like this:

:twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour:

rotflmao

Anyway...Shiny got a call from the enemy camp yesterday asking about setting a court date.

It doesn't really matter when now...because Shiny has BIG plans for Gray based on what he SQUEEEEEEZED out of him on the stand, LMAO!!!

I KNEW he could do it!! WOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

hurray hurray hurray

Yeah, nothing new on the blog as of this afternoon...DIL has been keeping an eye on it.

Too wounded to gloat? Nah, he just KNOWS Shiny is REALLY gunning for him...like he didn't notice before? DUH!!!

You doan messa wit da Big Italian, Baby!!

Oh yeah, and get this...Gray wants me to sign the tax return. I was like, WTH? Why should I? I never saw any of the other 2 and I was supposed to get 1/2!! And what happened to the 2007 return? And the bigger IRS check...I never even saw that one. He's probably sitting on it. It's not like he needs the money!

So mebbe I weel, mebbe I woan...I'm leaving it up to Shiny. Otherwise they can kiss mah blue booty!!

I'm not worried, it will ALL come out in the wash....after Shiny dunks Gray's head in 3 times and only brings it out twice. LMAO!!!

Tell you what, I'm very fortunate to have him in my corner and I'll never forget that. He'll always be MY HERO!!!!! Such a gigantic heart with so much caring for others in such a thankless job. It's really too bad he couldn't parlay that into a new career training other attorneys but I guess you really can't train someone to care about other people.

Not that all attorneys are like that, of course. But too many are, hence all the bad lawyer jokes, eh?

LOL!!

In other news:

I had to drive my final in to the school for one class and hunt down my other Chef to return a really sweet movie he gave me to watch called, "Strictly Ballroom." So he and I talked for over an hour outside while he chain-smoked, LOL! But he's about to get some meds from the doctor and quit. He's tired of it.

Anyway, he told me that he is so glad that he knows me and I really brought light into his life. How sweet is that??!! Awwwwwwww!!!!! He also asked me if he could have all of my printed journals so I gave them to him even though they had all of his cute remarks on there. He wants to share them with students as examples. He thinks I should be a food critic, LOL!!

Hey, there's a thought! laugh

So I had a really good day. I got to talk to Shiny for a long time AND Chef for a long time.

Maybe next week we'll find out about a court date. I'm ready!! And I'm already guessing that it will probably end up coinciding with my classes, LOL!! Maybe it won't, though.

We shall see!! wink

Charlotte







Posted By: lildoggie Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:01 AM
Woman, you amaze me
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:01 AM
AND...I'm going to save up my money and get the transcript from OWxH's trial. You bet your bazungas!!!!

I really need to nickname OWxH...let's see.........

Let's call him Howard. He would get a kick out of that, LOL!!!

He's just as goofy as the rest of the gang...his first words to me after Shiny told me it was over and I called him were:

"I am NOT a number....I am a FREE MAN!!!!!"

LMAO!!

Yeah, from the tv show but really mostly from the Iron Maiden song of the same name: "The Prisoner."

hee hee heeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

It goes:

I'm on the run....I kill to eat....I'm starving now...feeling dead on my feet...

Going all the way....I'm nature's beast!!!

Do what I want....I do as I please.....


Chorus:

Run!!! Fight!!!! To breathe!!!! It's gonna be tough!!!

Now you see me!!! Ha Ha!! Now you don't!!!

Break the walls.....I'm comin' ouuuuuuut!!!

I'm not a number....I'm a free man...and my blood is my own now...

Don't care...where the past was.....I know where I'm going...

OUT!!!

If you kill me....it's self-defense....if I kill you, I call it...vengeance!!!!

Spit in your eye!!! I will defy!!!! You'll be afraid when I call out your name!!!!!

Run, you've gotta fight, to breathe, it's tough.
Now you see me, now you don't.
Break the walls, I'm coming out.

I'm not a prisoner.... I'm a free man.....and my blood is my own now.....don't care where the past was....
I know where I'm going......

I'm not a number...... I'm a free man......I'll live my life how I want to!!!!!!!!!!

You better scratch me.....from your black book.....

'Cause I'll run rings around youuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!

(SMOKIN' dual lead guitar solos)

Chorus

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn straight!!!!

Charlotte





Posted By: lildoggie Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:03 AM
you know Iron Maiden???

faint

I gotta get out more
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:16 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
Woman, you amaze me

blush

awwwwww......lil' ol' me?? (sorry, had to borrow the lil there, LOL!!)

Thank you!!

I don't know what all the fuss is about, though...I'm just a gal from the sticks that lives in a house full of holes that's a couple of steps above a cardboard box...LMAO!!!

Nah, just kiddin'!!!

I was just thinking the other day about people....I mean, I didn't really have any close friends before, just Gray and my family, really. My childhood best friend lives in Colorado and I just didn't see how I could make new friends so I didn't. I didn't think I needed to because Gray was my best friend. I was wrong.

And, wow! People like me!!! LOL!! Okay, Sally Field..."You like me!! You really, really like me!!"

I'm really thankful to still be around, and not just because of that gun in Dallas incident. I guess even though I thought about it I didn't *think* about it that hard but when I was sick, I could have died. When Mom mentioned it in a really strong way, I realized that she was right.

I do still have occasional twinges of self-doubt, though, but that's normally around my monthly so I know what's causing that, LOL!!

I just tell myself: "Okay, you know why you are feeling this way! STOP IT!! THAT'S LOSER TALK!!!" And then I'm okay.

LMAO!!!!

Life is GRAND!!

Charlotte

Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:23 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
you know Iron Maiden???

faint

I gotta get out more

HAIL yeah!!

They came to town on my wedding anniversary in 2008...how did THEY KNOW????!!!! LMAO!!!!!

That was a really great day!!!

Mom and I went to the concert....got to stop and visit with Shiny and brought him all kinds of goodies from the vegetable garden...then we went to the concert and MAN!!!!! It was FANTASTIC!!!!

They even played "Rime of the Ancient Mariner!"

Then after, we were leaving and I was walking behind Mom and she started talking all animated and I looked up...it was Howard!! (OWxH) I knew he was there, I had been looking for him in the audience before the show started and sent him a text.

Turns out he was in the same dang section!!!!! OMG!!! Not long after that, he hired Shiny. About a week or so later.

Yeah, Mom & I got to meet Bruce and Janick when Bruce was here with his solo tour in 1990-91 or so. He was so SWEET!!! Not pretentious at all!! Janick, either!!

I love Maiden. Forevermore!!!!!!

Charlotte

(yeah, I guess you can figure where my former screen name is from now, LMAO!!!! Don't tell!!! LOL!!)
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:53 AM
I don't remember your former user name, I do remember the changing tho, it's what lead to me changing mine, we got found around the same time.

Quote
They even played "Rime of the Ancient Mariner!"


I can quote that verbatim... The first IM song I ever introduced Flick to, he was a very straitlaced chappie until I got my hands on him laugh

HOLY! Shiny is a IM fan???
I lve hima nd and I ahve never met him.
And he plays for the other team you say?
Damn!
Posted By: lildoggie Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:54 AM
I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO EDIT!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 07:05 AM
Originally Posted by lildoggie
I don't remember your former user name, I do remember the changing tho, it's what lead to me changing mine, we got found around the same time.

Quote
They even played "Rime of the Ancient Mariner!"


I can quote that verbatim... The first IM song I ever introduced Flick to, he was a very straitlaced chappie until I got my hands on him laugh

HOLY! Shiny is a IM fan???
I lve hima nd and I ahve never met him.
And he plays for the other team you say?
Damn!

LOL!! ME TOO!! That's one of my very favorites!!

No, Shiny didn't get to go but he would have if he wouldn't have had to work, LOL!!! He's a rock-n-roll attorney. He likes to sing a lot, it's hilarious!! (No, that's my favorite Chef that "plays for the other team" not Shiny, LOL!!)

Not because he sings funny, he sings quite well with a deep timbre...it's just that it usually happens after someone says something that happens to be a song lyric...or at least close to one.

I used to do that a lot. LOL!! My Mom once dated a guy and I'll never forget one night...he kept saying things that were song lyrics so I would start singing a song and he would crack up.

Good ol' Walveets...we don't know where the heck he is now!! He used to have a Harley, too. I could have killed him one night when he and Mom took a tumble, though!!

It was weird because I KNEW something was wrong, I just knew. So I had a friend drive me around and we found them. The cops were there and they made Walveets push his motorcycle up the road to a safe place and we took the two of them back to pick gravel out of them, UGH!!

She never really dated much after Walveets.

He was quite a character.

Charlotte
Posted By: miriam123 Re: Well, well, well... - 03/28/09 06:37 PM
Charlotte -

I gotta tell ya', I get the BIGGEST lift when I read your thread - you do "glee" in print better than anyone I've ever seen!

- M
Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, well, well... - 03/31/09 04:09 AM
no blog entry
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Well, well, well... - 03/31/09 09:09 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
no blog entry

Thanks for checking!

Yeah, Shiny scared him so bad he's even afraid to gloat...HA HA!!

I'll bet when Shiny's name is mentioned he loses control of his water AND his bowels...better break out the Depends for trial!!!

Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!

I got yet another call today for XW on my phone...I know he is behind this. Well, his petty games are not scaring any of us.

Oh yeah, I got to see XW and ODS, DIL, DGS, YDS, DIL2 and DD on Sunday at the park.

XW told me again that she feels vindicated after the first day of trial. I am SO GLAD!!

I was really hoping she would be able to get some closure from this and she is! YAY!!!

Oh, I need to ask her if that's the park she was dreaming about when she had that dream long ago that we were friends and talking in a park, LOL!!

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: Well, well, well... - 04/02/09 03:41 AM
nothing today, either!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Quick update - 04/15/09 07:04 AM
All is well.

We will be going back to resume trial in 2-3 weeks. Should have an exact date in the next couple of days.

Checked blog while at Shiny's...just a blip that amounted to "poor me, I'm unemployed." Checked the website, too, just for grins. I'm sure he knows that IP address by now. Good thing Shiny has a good firewall.

I haven't talked to OWH lately but I did find out that the judge counted the adultery in when she made her decision. He should be over the moon about that alone.

Charlotte
Posted By: Holyheart Re: Quick update - 04/18/09 08:05 AM
I love your stories about Shiny. Keep them coming. You are blessed to have him defending you. I just hope that my attorney earns the right to be called "Shiny 2" or "CA Shiny" or "Son of Shiny (SOS)" or some other variation.
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick update - 04/21/09 04:00 AM
Originally Posted by Holyheart
I love your stories about Shiny. Keep them coming. You are blessed to have him defending you. I just hope that my attorney earns the right to be called "Shiny 2" or "CA Shiny" or "Son of Shiny (SOS)" or some other variation.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.......that's so SWEET!!! Thank you!

I'm going to have to tell him about that, he'll be tickled!

Yes, I am very blessed! Shiny is the Hammer of God!!

This is the power of Shiny: Today I was talking with a former client (and she also used to work for a friend of Shiny's). Her bf is now a client, trying to get custody of his children. (He WILL, too!) This client's ex-husband talked his gf into hiring Shiny when she needed a client for a custody issue. Bad thing was that this former client had to testify for the other side against Shiny, LOL!! I told her.....nooooo....I couldn't do it, I would have to run away!! LOL!

But her story has an interesting twist since her ex had his gf hire Shiny! rotflmao

She is really cool, I met her last year when she was helping out when T got injured and couldn't work and we don't know each other all THAT well but when I walked in she came running over to give me a hug! Awwwww......so sweet!! You would think we've known each other for years, LOL!

I wish I could beam Shiny over to you!!

Take care,

Charlotte
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick update - 04/21/09 04:17 AM
Well, we NOW have a court date!! It's not on my birthday, though. DARN!!

Shiny likes my Italian, LOL! That's a great compliment coming from an Italian, LOL!

I had asked him if I need to do anything in the interim besides whip up a batch of sushi and bring it over, LOL! No, he would rather not! Just stick to the Italian! (He was really impressed with the lasagna, LOL!) Okay, works for me! Like I told him, Gray ALWAYS wanted Italian so I am really good at that! And pizza? Holy Macaroni, Batman! I used to make it almost every week! The nice, thin, New York crust was a Gray fave...well, I like it too. I'd sneak a regular crust in too now and then, though.

I don't know if I'm going to get to take the International class in school since I am in the baking & pastry program. I DO have Latin cuisine coming up, though. Maybe next quarter. But I already passed Italian so I'm good, hee hee!

Anyway, we're coming up within a month to resume trial. Shiny hasn't cut his hair yet, I hope he doesn't until after. Then he and OWH will both be shaggy again, LOL! OWH has a long ponytail already!

Should be interesting. I don't know if our judge will "count" the infidelity in the way OWH's did, but you never know!!

At least Slag and Gray realize that there ARE consequences for infidelity now. In case they didn't quite figure it out before, LOL!! Big ol' WALLOP from Shiny, that's what!! Ha ha hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Look out infidels!! Shiny's gunnin' fer ya' AGAIN! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

YEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

YIPPEE-KI-YAY!!!!!!

Charlotte

hurray hurray hurray



Oh yeah, and can't forget THIS puppy! :twobyfour:

Muhahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

grin
Posted By: Holyheart Re: Quick update - 04/21/09 04:39 AM
Love it!!

I'm full-blooded Italian so I can just picture Shiny looking like one of my handsome relatives.

And BIG congrats on your cooking accomplishments. You go, girl!

What man would not want a smart, talented, moral, FUNNY woman who can cook her own pizza. No takeout or frozen for Mr. Perfect. What a catch!!

And looks like Shiny is driving the Karma bus. Honk, honk.....
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick update - 05/05/09 05:17 AM
Well, a week and a day and Gray gets blown away! AGAIN!

Anyone who's not busy is advised to attend,

To watch the infidels squirm once again!

WOO-HOO!!

Just got off the phone with OW'sXH--gee, he has a long title now! Ha ha!

He started talking about that "frog under a heat lamp" thing again...I'm like...Thanks a LOT...Mom is already yelling at me about laughing in court (and I didn't laugh, I swear. I held it in. Barely.)...but she is still yelling. LOL! Shiny isn't, though. I would have had a thorough scolding if it had really been that bad, trust me! Mom over-thinks things and worries too much, says me!

Well, I have a potential stalker. Some weird guy that attended a school that I attended back in 2nd and 3rd grade...not at the same time I did, either...has been going to my page on a certain website.

He has been going there a LOT. And hasn't said "hi" or anything. It has me a little uneasy. I even sent him an email, trying to open a dialog. Nothing.

So I have told a few people that if I disappear or am otherwise found murdered and mutilated, Gray isn't the only suspect. I sent details to Shiny, too, just in case. So it's in my file now.

Maybe it seems overly cautious but I live in a small town and it wouldn't be hard for this dude to find me. He wouldn't know that I am here alone, though, unless he staked out my house. I have my married name on that site and I haven't updated in some time. I never go there. I only knew about it because I kept getting emails that someone went to my page.

In other news: I haven't heard from my dad about my b-day and he normally calls 2 weeks in advance. I guess he's dissing me this year. Oh well, I guess Shiny will have to adopt me after all, LOL! He's the one who keeps after me about my homework anyway so why not?

I have A's in everything and an A+ in Algebra, which I was worried about because it's been so long since I have been in an algebra class. I got a 108 on my midterm in that class. WOO-HOO!

Anyway, I guess that's the update for now. Here's hoping I won't have to use my Klingon knife or my ulu if someone tries to break in. I used to have a picture of one of the chickens for my profile photo at that site. Should have left it, I guess. Oh well, too late now.

Take care,

Charlotte

Posted By: cinderella Re: Quick update - 05/05/09 11:57 AM
skeptical

hmmmm.....

I wish I could have a ringside seat....or maybe a loge seat depending on the arrangement of the 'theatre'
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick update - 05/05/09 11:18 PM
Originally Posted by cinderella
skeptical

hmmmm.....

I wish I could have a ringside seat....or maybe a loge seat depending on the arrangement of the 'theatre'

Well, I would get you a front-row seat and backstage passes but......HOLY COW!!!!!!!

I just talked to Shiny....we are NOT on the docket for that day!!!

He called to set this other case that's in my county for the same day, (or try, to, since he had a case in Harris County the same day, LOL!! LONNNNNNNNNNNNG drive!! I don't think we would have finished in time, either)--and HOLY COW!!! OMG!!!!

So now we are back to no date again.

This is on Gray's end, too. I was there the day the date was agreed upon.

All I can say is: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

But hey, I'm cool: cool

Shiny is going to try and get it for a Wednesday again so I don't have to miss classes. I was SO GLAD that it was on that day!! Miss one class and you miss a LOT!! So hopefully we will luck out again on that point.

Ah well, it's one less strain for Shiny, too since he won't have to speed demon back to get to the other hearing. But again, DARN!! Because I was going to go, too, provided we finished in time and I would have gotten to see him in action again!

You know what it's like to watch people when they are in "the zone"...be it cooking, sports, dancing, whatever? That's what it's like.

Anyway, that's the news, LOL!

I guess we'll see when we go back. Hey, maybe it will be on the wedding anniversary after all!! Ha ha!! I don't know if that's on a weekday or a weekend this year, though. I'll have to check. That would be something, wouldn't it? wink

Charlotte

Posted By: Bellevue Re: Quick update - 05/06/09 04:21 PM
Charlotte, The fact that you don't know what day your anniversary is on this year announces that you are doing great. Your life is full and interesting and productive. Gray's life is pathetic and stagnet.

Good for you!
Posted By: Dancing_Machine Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 04:49 AM
Hey, I noticed that the last post on my thread ended on my birthday after that big crash a while back...they mentioned that crash on facebook.

I am really doing well, since the post-divorce post was erased I'll just say...Shiny came through and saved the day. I got everything + alimony. The best present he gave me though, was a book that changed my life forever that he gave me in August of last year.

Anyway, I am here because I have some disturbing news...apparently a friend was hacked by FSO...her email & facebook profile were hacked.

I have a very disturbing email that he sent to her. It is, well, very disturbing.

I don't know why he doesn't move on, he wanted the divorce. I am living happily going to school and I made the Dean's Honor Roll again this past quarter.

I don't even think about FSO, a.k.a. Gray--sure I might run across something that belongs to him that I need to get rid of and that might bring a thought but any thoughts about him ceased to hurt me long, long ago.

He doesn't understand that God is the one who has been helping me. God helped me find this place and God led me to Shiny.

I want to thank everyone again who helped me so much in those dark times when I was so afraid and hadn't yet realized who was truly on my side the whole time and still by my side today and forever.

Thank you All, I love you All and thank you again so much for all of the love and support!!

Life just gets better and better every day and God granted me another miracle just last night! It was amazing!

The only sad part for me is that I lost my grandmother in November. I had a vision when she passed and her dear sons were with her, welcoming her with open arms and that really helped me a lot through that time.

Take care, All of you, I miss you!

Peace, love and blessings!

Charlotte

Posted By: karmasrose Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 08:22 AM
Your ex continues to take pot-shots at you, DM!

When I 'encouraged' him to 'pay more attention to Robin rather than making comments about your ex so much', and another user (who said they visit ONLY for the CB stuff) said something similar, he made some remark about 'the mentally deficient ex.'

Seriously, is there no action you can take on this? Is there nothing you can do?
Posted By: karmasrose Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 08:24 AM
Also, what a coincidence...

He disabled comments after that!
Posted By: Holyheart Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 05:01 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your grandmother's passing. I recall you mentioning her, and you spending time watching TV with her. I'll keep her and you in my prayers.

So glad to hear that you are doing well. I think of you when I watch Top Chef. I've tried watching Chef Academy but it's not quite the same.

And I'm so happy that Shiny proved his weight in gold. I'm going through a rough patch with a very beligerent waywayd who's doing everything in his power to bring me down. Unfortunately, anything he does to me also affects our three kids. He's a madman. My skin has thickened, but it still hurts tremendously. I pray that my Shiny will rise to the occasion. We've only had one court battle so far, but D!ck is desperate to break us all -- in the name of love for Bimbo.

Speaking of Shiny... what's he up to? Do you keep in touch? He made me proud to be an Italian.

Keep visiting us. I know that I need to be reminded that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Posted By: faithful follower Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 05:37 PM
Sorry about your grandmother. What was the book?
Posted By: ChaiLover Re: Quick update - 01/09/10 07:35 PM
Char,

Another recovered BS!!!!! dance2

You have really done well girlfriend, and I am very happy for you. It's sometimes amazing how the WS's life winds up in the sh!tter after all of this while the BS prospers.

Sorry to hear about your Grandmother.

Keep on doing what you are doing.

Much love to you......
Posted By: MicheleG Re: Quick update - 01/10/10 02:52 AM
Charlotte,

I'm sorry about your grandmother. Losing a loved one is difficult. I am thrilled, however, about the happy state that you find yourself in. It is so cool how well you are doing. All the best.
Posted By: QueeniesAdventures Re: Quick update - 01/10/10 06:25 PM
Charlotte,

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.

You sound so good.

What an awesome thing to read. YOU GOT EVERYTHING...

But most important

Quote
He doesn't understand that God is the one who has been helping me. God helped me find this place and God led me to Shiny.
He can't, because he is STILL out there NOT in G-ds protection and fold...

Maybe one day.


Posted By: not2fun Re: Quick update - 01/11/10 01:24 AM
((((((CHAR)))))))!!!!!

OMG....girl I have missed you. Your Shiny stories could bring a smile to my face like nobodies business..... grin

I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother as well.....

Glad to hear about everything else....I always figured if ANYONE could make soup out of a stone it would be YOU....

love ya sunshine.....not2fun
Posted By: Bellevue Re: Quick update - 03/03/10 04:53 PM
Charlotte, I'm also sorry about your grandmother. Now she is above, watching over you.

I visit the gray website sometimes. He is pathetic. Juvenile. You really didn't need to be tied down to him.

G-d bless you.
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