I thought it might be helpful to start a thread to all the women that are working to improve their physical attractiveness. I know that most of us that are BSs have taken a pretty big hit to our self-esteem. This is a big EN for my husband. I am getting over my resentment that it matters so much to my husband and am really working on it. I was thinking that starting a thread to support each other in our plan for improvements. So, I will start with what I plan to do today. I will be cleaned up and made up before I see my husband at lunch. I will be dressed nicely. I need to lose 25-35 pounds. I will continue to count my calories and not eat more than 1200 calories today. I am getting ready to take my labrador retriever, Nikki for a 1 hour walk. I will go to the gym with my husband after work and will do some weight training. We plan to continue to participate in a 5k this Saturday. I need schedule a hair appointment for next week.
Anybody else got plans today?

Hi,

I had a make up lesson this morning - am 35 and nearly never wear any
Just to show a difference betweeen day and going out really - to bring out my eyes.
Also working on improving my lingerie oh and the diet of course

Just some thoughts.....

Find a diet that truly works for you and stick with it. I have tried numerous ones through my years of yo yo dieting. Over the years, I have weighed as much as 165 pounds and as little as 112 pounds. I am pear shaped and found The Zone Diet worked quite well for me, South Beach didn't. UltraMetabolism is a great program, as well. Really, though, dieting is ultimately about reducing calorie intake. If you can afford it (depends on the gym, but runs somewhere between $160 - 200) and your gym offers it, try Metabolic Testing VO2 Max - Anaerobic Threshold - Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) (Lifetime Fitness is one gym that I know offers this). These medical grade tests determine each individual's daily caloric needs and unique heart rate training zones to work out more efficiently, burn fat, build muscle and improve performance. From the couch potato to the elite athlete this test gives you a true picture of what needs to be done in the gym and at the dinner table every day to lose, maintain or gain weight. For example, from my testing, I learned that my resting metaoblism requires approximately 1800 calories to stay at my same weight. If I want to lose weight, I can drop no lower than 1280 calories or my body will go into starvation mode, which will then cause it to try and preserve weight to save itself.

Many women think that losing weight means "just" going on a diet. The most important thing anyone can do to lose weight is to exercise - cardio and strength training. This will not just burn calories but, also, tone muscle for a leaner look. Besides, the endorphins that are released when you exercise are great attitude enhancers!

Makeup - all of the makeup counters in the major department stores will do makeovers for you and help you find a look that is right for you and teach you how to apply it.

My latest find are eyelash extensions. I have very short, very straight, light colored eyelashes that make my eyes look tiny. These semi-permanent extensions are glued to your existing eyelashes with surgical glue and the last as long as the natural lash to which it is attached lasts. When it falls out, so does the extension. I will tell you, the intial investment is a bit costly - $300 price range, with refills every 3 weeks for $80 - 100. I rarely wear any makeup now because I don't need to with these cool things!

Clothes - when I was in my early 30's there was a woman in my office who was my same age but dressed very frumpy, like a 70 year old woman. Even if you are overweight, there are lovely, inexpensive styles you can wear that are trendy and stylish. Watch What Not To Wear - its a great lesson in the right styles for various body types. I also hones in on what is "in" now without looking trashy.

Same thing goes for hair - have you been wearing the same airstyle for a long time? Change it up - add some color, have it cut differently.

Good for you, SS2. Stick with it!

You and everyone else are welcome to join us on the "Smiles & Trials 3: Healthy Habits" thread over on the "In Recovery" forum. It's a bunch of us working on being healthy -- started by Ace some time ago. It didn't start out as a nutrition and exercise thread, but it has turned into that and it can be very supportive. It's mostly women, but there are a few men who peek in now and then.

You can check it out by clicking HERE.

Good luck to everyone.

I've lost 31 pounds so far. I'm looking really good, but I want to tone up. My FWH and I are doing this all together. It's fun to cheer each other on and share our successes with each other.

One thing I've learned is to never do any fad diet ever again. In fact, I will never "diet" again. "Diets" aren't the way to go, because people do them for a while to lose the weight and then go back to eating the way they did before and gain it all back! I have changed my eating habits and made a commitment to have a healthier lifestyle.

If I can survive infidelity, I can do this!

Wow, this is so fun! Let me tell you all a little secret...once you really start meeting this need for your H, you will NEVER want to go back to "not caring"!

It is an increidble feeling to know that I meet this need for my H, I love it when he tells me I am meeting this need, and I never tire of his compliments.

I almost always include my H's opinion when getting dressed to go out on a date...he LOVES to help me pick out clothes and I value his opinion very much. This also shows that I CARE about meeting this EN for him. This is something I highly recommend that you do!

How are you going to run in a 5K and not eat more than 1200 calories?

I don't want to discourage you in any way about being attractive to your H and meeting that EN. But it isn't about the calories, rather our Body Mass Index...the ratio of our body fat to muscle. Would you consider getting a scale that reads both? You want to be healthy. You might need to lose a certain % of body fat vs a given # of pounds.

If you can adjust your BMI, then you can still have the nutritious and caloric intake that a running body needs without risking your health.

Not a woman, but would like to add some to discussion here. My wife always banged on me for my clothing choices, underwear (hated the tighty white briefs), wanted me to put on smell-well, etc. I didn't really hear her...

Since DDay we have gone shopping, I switched underwear to something more modern, shower and clean up daily, put on smell-well and I've dropped some pounds via eating better and exercise.

And while the wife helped me, I did this for ME! I wanted to know that I could be attractive should my marriage not work out. And I feel much better about myself. Do this for YOU!

I too have decided to get up off the couch and do a little more. I've been so sad lately that I haven't been keeping up with anything. In my marriage I changed into someone that I hate. I decided that I need to get my Goddess back. Now I'm taking time to clean the apt every day and lifting weights and making sure that I look good. But I'm not doing it for my H, I'm doing it for myself. If he wants to fall in line and be my H again, good for him, if he doesn't then that's his problem. But now my life is my own again!!

I agree about the low calories and high cardio...that is a recipe for DISASTER for me.

In fact, I don't do any cardio (or very, VERY little)...it backfires on me and ramps my appetite up so much that I actually GAIN weight. I thought I was the only one but have found that I am NOT, this is fairly common.

I lift weights and that's it...and I am in pretty good shape. It's super fun to see the progress I have made...I keep good notes of how I have progressed and it's pretty amazing.

I am not running. I am walking. Calorie counting works best for me even when maintaining my weight. I eat healthy but enjoy the flexibility and easiness. I have a calorie counting program on my phone. I do subtract workout calories so if I workout a lot, I eat more. I should have explained that so people don't think that I am starving myself. I'm not. I also take a multi-vitamin. I eat anywhere from 1200-1500 daily after workout. Today is a 1200 calorie day to jog the scale. Maintenance calories for me are 1500-1800 calories/day. My goal is to be at my ideal weight by my 10th wedding anniversary on October 23.

The walk was beautiful. Honeysuckle is blooming everywhere here and the temperature was just right. I found a creek that I didn't know about. I had to drag my dog up the last hill. She is not in very good shape!

Gotta get lunch ready for hubby. I'm going to have a Lean Cuisine meal and a salad. He is on his way home. He likes their paninis and salads so that is probably what I'll make for him.

I agree the diet has to work for you and not everyone is the same. I come from a family with diabeties and heart disease.....I watched my father who has diabeties never take care of himself.....he ended up with kidney failure.....as a result he had to have both legs amputated.....he had a pacemaker installed and a kidney transplant...he is still alive to this day but...had he done what the doctors advises at 50 years old he wouldn't have lost his legs....It scared me at the time I was close to becoming my father...Dr. wanted me to have a gastric bypass...I ended up loosing over 100 lbs on my own with my own changes.

I now am on a regiment that a member from this board suggested and it works great for me. I take 3 protein shakes (they allow better functionality of your muscles and your muscles burn more calories per hour when they have higher amounts of protein) a day of natural whey protein (tastes like chocolate milk) and I snack on healthy things throughout the day (carrots, apples, mozzerella cheese, yougart) and have a healthy dinner at night. I do this with excersize during the week. The weekends I allow myself free range days where I can have anything I want. I realized without allowing yourself those days people break down and usually break there diet.

The cleaner eating actually gives me more energy. I also have been having a better healing time with my foot. Which has been giving me problems for months. I also feel like my limbs are lighter easier to move and not so stiff. I know Hope is on the same regiment and it's working good for her....hey hope....you wanna add anything?

P.S. also totally agree about getting a new haircut and/or color... I did this during Plan B and it made such an impression on FWH that it was one of the only times he tried to break my Plan B by telling me how great I looked!!!

It's also really fun...I've kept my hair this way for 2 years now and get tons of compliments on it. FWH LOVES it and tells me that all the time...he doesn't even mind when I need to spend $50 to get it cut.

Girlfriend where do you go for $50

I usually end up spending $70-$90 for cut and color...I also have long hair so that contributes bit still wow $50

I know I need a new cut and color, last time I cut my hair I did it myself at 4 in the morning while suffering from a cluster migraine hoping that the lack of hair would help. Now its growing back and showing the choppy job I did. Not to mention the gray is really showing now and its getting worse. I could curse my father for this dang genetic annoyance of going gray super young.

I can't wait to do something new. I've been experimenting with my make up and am trying to learn how to sew so I can work on my new wardrobe.

SS2, thank you for starting this thread.

I am very guilty of being Mrs. Frump through the years. My WH was the "pretty one". Well now I feel better than I have in years -- physically even though I struggle mentally some days with this crisis.

First I was on the infidelity diet -- Yes you know it when D Day smacks you in the face. Instead of binge eating I couldn't eat which was not the norm for me.

When I realized I was dropping pounds I joined a gym which I go to during lunch most days during the week. I initially joined so I would not obsess about WH sneaking out at lunch with OW because we all work in the same place...how lovely.

My update is that I have lost 38 pounds. I need to lose 30-35 more. 40 if I reach my nirvana!

I do yoga (which I have never done) 2x a week. Ride bike, weights all that good stuff. I feel stronger and see results.
I know the weight takes longer to come off as you get older but this is the lightest I have weighed in 15 years.

Last week I signed myself and D15 up for a "boot camp" at the gym. They take before/after pics, BMI, weigh-ins, nutrition and you work with personal trainers for 8 weeks 1x a week. It will be grueling but I think it will get me off of my plateau.

Like SIHW, I have been drinking protein drinks here and there and they do help.

Most BS have very low low self esteem. But I read here forget self-esteem we need to learn self-respect. I know the greatest weapon in this is to look and live well. I bought high heels which I never wore for years and years. When WH saw them he said when did you start wearing heels, he noticed the weight loss. Is he home -- no but I am the one sharing my time with DD and he is missing it all.

I have thanked God in March when I met some fellow MBers. (You know who you are and what a blessing for these women) They were a God send to me when I needed it most. D15 and me got our haircuts and streaked, new makeup and did I mention shopping. We went to Fredericks and for the first time I had some great push-me ups, out whatever! (is this woman only! --) I made some real investments in myself. I bought new make-up and how I applied it; I dress differently, got rid of the dowdy clothes and I feel better about me through this hell I am going through.

Inside I work on being attractive and lose some of my criticism for others, controlling attitude and trying to let go of things. I attend Al-non and work on my own serenity.

And finally there is karma or ying-yang. While I am starting to thrive - my WH looks bad, he is drinking and it shows; he is on ADs and it shows; he is bloated and it shows. One of my coworkers saw OW and said she looked haggard; face lined; hair hanging; and gained at least 15 pounds. :crosseyedcrazy: :twobyfour:



Thanks for starting this.

It's called lift and seperate baby cakes....

With regard to the question about running 5K's and keeping caloric intake to about 1200 calories....I run 4 days a week (two endurance runs, one Farflek - speed, and one long run. I do 5K's and am training for a 1/2 Marathon. I keep my caloric intake to no more than 1500 calories a day but, usually, right around 1300. I also work out with a personal trainer 2 days a week. I have plenty of energy and my BMI (which I just had updated last week) is at 21.

Another thing I thought of....teeth whitening.

A lot of times, if you can make it past the first 2 weeks, the out of control appetite and cravings disappear. Some great eating:

Breakfast

Instant oatmeal (the original kind) with a scoop of whey protein.
(200 calories)

1 cup Non-fat Bulgarian Yoghurt with a scoop of whey protein and a banana or strawberries all blended together.

Mid-morning

Myoplex Carb Control or Lite Shake or meal replacement bar

Lunch

Options are endless...gravitate toward Turkey, Chicken or Fish (Tilapia has 120 calories per serving) with veggies or in a salad. Avoid dressings of any kind or use just Balsamic Vinegar

Mid-afternoon

Myoplex Carb Control or Lite shake or meal replacement bar

Dinner

Same as lunch, add a glass of read wine - Pinot Noir has 120 calories per serving and is full of antioxidants

Before bed

Myoplex Carb Control or Lite shake or meal replacement bar

I also supplement with vitamins and amino acids and use the FRS Energy drinks.

Count me in! Mrs.W and Marriedforever have been so helpful in my desire to change my eating habits. I am not on a "diet" but on a quest for health. My goal is to lose 30lbs, which I have already lost around 17. (depending on water weight) I became a Mary Kay lady last year so my skin care and make up have drastically improved! I am working out on my Wii Fit every day for 4 weeks now and it really shows. My pants are hanging on me now.

My FWH told me I can buy new clothes when I hit the 20 lb mark, so I have about 3 to go.

BB, the instant Oatmeal with double fiber is even better than the regular and you cannot taste the difference!

I color it myself (my hair is dark and I have natural "highlights" so this is really easy), so all I have to pay for is the cut...and I was shocked when we moved here and found out this is what haircuts cost as well...in SoCal I used to pay $75.00 for just the CUT!

And to tell you the truth...I am actually happier with the way this new girl cuts my hair!

Do you all HEAR THIS?!?!?! FF is doing so great, and I am so proud of her!!!


That is so cool! And what a great time of year for this to be happening...shopping for spring and summer clothes is so fun!!

I know! I have not looked forward to warm weather clothes for a while. Last Sunday I wore a cute dress that I bought during the infidelity diet but could no longer fit into. DD and I have our mother/daughter retreat the end of this month. I am hoping to be brave enough to wear a swim suit, too.

Girls only for this one - Really!!
Speaking of haircuts...my husband wanted less hair in a certain place. I am a natural brunette with thick hair. I used to trim it and tell him to deal with it - not anymore. I take everything that he complains about seriously now. I tried waxing once and never want to do that again. It made me want to cry. I tried shaving but my hair grows back too quickly. They do make some good personal shavers for the delicate areas (body bare is a good one if you don't drop it in the toilet - don't ask) So, I have been getting laser hair removal treatments for that area and he is very pleased. He likes the way it looks and says that it is less irritating as well.
Here is the website for the body bare personal shaver http://www.personalshavers.com/shaverproducts.html#personalshaver

BTW I have lost 27 pounds since d-day and don't really have much appetite. At first it was the recording from d-day that had my FWS telling OW that she was a rockstar with a hard little body after they were done in a hotel room. I kept hearing that daily for weeks. He used to tell me that! I hated that he used the same compliment for her. I resented him sooo much. Now, I don't really hear it anymore. I just hear what he has been telling me. He has been very complimentary and I like it. He told me that I was getting my old figure back. He checks me out all the time. Physical Attractiveness ranks above Affection and SF for him. Go figure.

I hear ya, ss2 and I would love to (actually FWH would LOVE it too) have laser hair removal...I've offered to have it done, but financially it isn't at the top of our priority list right now.

I just make do the best I can and he seems to be very happy with that.

Too much information SS

Still at work at the moment but i will pop back later and tell you all what i do to look after myself but in the meantime here is a great site for helping with the makeup application, there are a few free videos on it that i found really great especially for applying the mineral makeup and the smokey eyed look. tif@marvelousmakeup.com

I got Invisalign braces! FWH had his teeth done about 5 years ago (very severe case) and says he would do it again in a heartbeat. He knows that I'm insecure about my teeth even though they aren't too bad, and he's been trying to convince me to get them fixed for years. He finally convinced me to do it for myself and I'm in my 3rd week! They hurt like he//, but it will be nice to not hide my mouth when I smile.

Plus the dentist and my other doctor think it might help with my migraines!!!

I know. But hey, this is war! We need to do whatever it takes to win. When I caught my husband looking at porn, I understood why he was complaining. Those girls are all bald nowadays. I had no idea... Know your competition!

[

My H has asked me to do this too but i found it rather strange. I would think bald would make you think of a little girl EWWWWWW!!!!!

Have you noticed that most guys on TV do not have hair on their chest or arms (don't know about anywhere else ).

I do not like that either, not that i like a lot of hair but i like a hairy chest LOL!!!

I thought it was strange too until I looked at the screenshots on my computer. I'm just trying to be what he finds attractive. I guess hair is out of fashion. From a practical standpoint, it is easier to get down to business and is more comfortable.

Well sorry to say then i will be "out of fashion" too LOL!!!

The hair removal creams just bring me out in a rash, I bought some Avon cream and i applied it on my nether region and under my arms on sunday and i have been walking around like John Wayne ever since. I would love to try the lazer treatment, i am going to get some prices locally.

Now I understand why you are so mad at your husband.

Wow SIHW, I'm impressed! Way to go.

Great thread, SS!

Get it...it is sooooo worth it. It's not all that expensive when you think of all the shaving products you save, time, and no razor burn. I've had my under arms and bikini line done. Best money I've ever spent. Just make sure you go to a reputable place.

I had my lip and chin done a few year ago. It's nice to not have to notice stray hairs in the sunlight! It was worth it. I want to do my underarms next.

I also had laser eye surgery a few years ago when we lived at the beach (so much sand- couldn't wear contacts). That was the best! Now I can see everything.

I agree there. We have actually gone the other way. After Flick confessed to the porn addiction 8 months before d-dayI made an enormous effort to look good nakid and did the bald thing all the was thru to the first day of recovery when he said he wanted it to grow back but trimmed. Mainly for less friction. I wax mostly but have had laser treatment on the bikini line part. I have had 4 treatments and I would say it has reduced growth by about 50%

Infidelity diet took me back 20 years in weight.
Work out at home to Barry's Boot Camp (infomercial), but on downer days I don't have the motivation.

As a thrift shopper, I try out new clothes in smaller sizes for pennies on the dollar and then know what to look for on sale, or sewing. But I find so many good brands and quality clothes in Thrifties that I don't buy much in regular stores anymore.

I took some inheritance money and had a dermatologist do some work on spider veins, age spots and mole removal. Also invested in Obagi skin lightening system.

I have spent 60 years in the sun: ranch childhood, life guarding, teen tanning and now back to ranching -- this time with sunblock and hats. There has been alot of damage, but people still think I am younger than I am.

I have started wearing makeup more frequently and earrings.

I cut my baby fine straight hair short and was told I looked 10 years younger -- even without perming or coloring.

Then found out H only likes long, thick, wavy hair. So I'm growing it out longer, but refuse to wear the straight flat look. Will have to consider perming again, although it breaks my hair.

I guess I'm doing all this for myself as my H says nobody should change their physical appearance for someone else. Attractiveness is how you feel about someone's personality, not their appearance. (This doesn't explain how he loved the OW at first sight, before knowing what her personality was!)

I am in no way physically attractive to my H, but I am getting compliments from others, in front of him even, but no comment from him..

When I hear what you husband puts you through I want to :twobyfour: :twobyfour: :twobyfour:
Okay I feel better now. All you can do is be the best that you can be and leave the rest to God. Keep doing what you can and keep your chin up!

Thanks, SS.

I'm currently doing laser hair removal on my legs. I have had injections for spider veins...hurt like a mother but I liked the improvement. I have Obagi but I hate the routine and the initial peeling isn't attractive so I prefer getting a photofacial. Either makes a huge difference in your complexion.

All of these things I do for me and did so even pre-A. If H likes it, great, but I like the results I get. I get pedicures more often and treat myself to services...no more of thinking of H, the kids, everyone and their brother then b_r. I'd like to lose about 10 pounds and get toned up so I joined a gym but I'm not going to kill myself over it either.

I had laser treatments for spider veins a few years ago and didn't really see the results that I was hoping to see. I was wondering about the injections. I have heard that they work better. I have also had laser skin resurfacing for some sun damage and the result were ok. I now wear sunscreen 365 days a year. I use a really good self-tanner in the summertime that my husband likes. I get manicures and pedicures too. I try to give myself a facial at home once a week. Clinique makes a 15 minute facial that I like. Basically I try to do what I can to maintain and improve my looks and overall health without going crazy about it or sacrificing my quality of life (or my finances). Some of this stuff is pretty pricey so I do what I can a little at a time.

The laser don't work well from what doctors have told me. The injections hurt and your legs will be bruised but you should require less with each treatment. A vascular surgeon will do the treatments but typically bill your consult visit through insurance if you have any. The biggest factor with spider and varicose veins is hereditary. I've gone three times in the last 12 months. I'll go for maintenance as needed but I haven't gone for almost 6 months. Given all the advances in technology, I really hope they come up with an effective laser treatment or start sedating people that suffer through injections.

If ya'll want to know my VERY HUMBLE OPINION on this, the absolute BEST time and money you can spend on yourself is on EXERCISING.

And we ALL KNOW that you can do that for FREE if you have to! I spend 45 minutes at the gym 3 times a week, and that's it. Now that the weather is nice I'll probably start going for walks a couple of days a week, but that's mostly because I just like being outside, and the walking clears my head.

I don't bother with facials or manicures (pedicures sometimes in the summer, but then I just do them myself in between times so I don't have to go that often). I ALWAYS have my toes paiinted, though!

I wash my face twice a day and use moisturizer and sunscreen. I wear makeup, but not a ton...some foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner and mascara. And lipgloss when I remember.

But that is it...and I'm told that I always look good.

[P.S. laser hair removal would be nice, however. I shave everysingleday and it gets OLD. I love the way it feels though!]

Well you go girls!!!!

Oh, GOSH! Someone who's actually excited about these stupid things!!!!! I wore braces as a teenager to correct my bite and now, at the ripe old age of 48, I have to wear the invisalign because my bite shifted and my lower teeth were loose from getting hit head on by my upper teeth. I HATE these things!!!!! I'm only on my second set of trays and have 30 more to go. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Only good thing about them is you can take them out, but they're a pain in the butt to get out!!!!

MF i had to laugh when i read this because i am like you except i do not go the gym at all and i have actually never had a manicure or a pedicure (but i bite my fingernails so a manicure would be a waste of money anyway LOL!

I have been doing Brazilian for about a year now and love it. I would love to have laser, but it doesn't work on grey hairs and, well, I have quite a few of those!!!

XBF who ended up being a lying, cheat either shaved or waxed or did something down there. He was very nicely groomed for quite a while and, then, toward the end when he really got out of hand, he was complete shaved/wax - chest and down there. He is very tall and very skinny, so he looked like a teenage kid with a 47 year old man's head! He even started tanning, which I don't have a problem with, except he wears these awful bikini briefs from Walmart that he wore when he tanned and, gosh, he looked stupid!!!

You are brave. I could never do that. OUCH and OUCH!

Actually, if you started putting nail polish on your fingernails, you would probably stop biting them. That worked for me when I was a kid. Please tell me that you don't bite your toenails too!!!

If I could get nail polish to STAY on my fingernails, I might do it...but I do so much hand and dish washing that it chips almost immediately. And I cannot tolerate ANY chips in my nail polish!

So I stick with painting my toes and that works out just fine. Right now I have a dark PURPLE on, it's so fun!

I don't spend money on facial or manicures either MF. One of the best things I bought years ago was a pariffin (sp?) wax machine...hands and feet feel so much better after. They are not expensive either. A lot of beauty care can be done at home but it is nice to sit back and get a service once in a while. I don't color my hair and get $50-$80 cut like some women so for me it evens out to do other things I like without breaking the bank.

Sunscreen is probably one thing that is under used by most people.

Yes it sure is...but I am not talking "beauty service".

[MF<~~~~~running and ducking now...]

I used clear nail polish to stop me from biting. It tastes bad and the chips don't show as much.

Oh my goodness no i do not bite my toenails too!!!

I wish i did not bite my FINGERnails because i have very long thin pretty fingers but i have bit them for as long as i can remember. Heck one time i won as special award at my work and went to this fancy award thing in another state and i got the fake nails. As soon as i got home i bit them off too.

My toenails however right at the moment are a shiny bronze color!!!

Bad girl! Do you think this is a SF thread or something?

This was a fun diversion today. Hubby came home early and we are off to the gym.

I was hoping.

I'm trying a much lighter touch on the makeup since I noticed someone else's that I thought really looked good. I am just using a sheer foundation, a little bit of blush, and a light dusting of prescriptives "Magic" (light-diffusing) powder, and mascara on the top lashes only, and lip gloss when I can remember.

My secret weapon, though, has helped my thin, sparse lashes so much-- Lilash lash growth enhancer. Amazing. Ridiculously expensive, but it works.

Anyway, I think the lighter touch is younger looking. I might start using some concealer or lightener around the eyes.

I completely agree with this. But I think it can also age you if you wear NO makeup.

I've been struggling to find things to eat that work for me. Lately it's been "egg flower" soup-- I make some boxed chicken noodle soup, add some veggie (today it is fresh spinach leaves) and when the soup is cooked, one beaten egg. It's pretty light--under 300 calories for the whole thing and that is a LOT of soup.

I need to eat fairly soft foods as I had a gastric bypass and heavy things just don't work.

But the salt content in the soup is disturbing.

Hate the protein shakes. I may have an allergy to something in them-- they do NOT sit well.

Cottage cheese and light yogurt work OK.

My calories are still way too high and the exercise way too low. Darn.

LOL I'm all for getting a happy ending with H.

I like to get my nails done every three weeks (acrylics)dont know if the spelling is right?

Keep my false tan topped up to give me a bit of colour, lets face it i aint goin to get much sun here in Ireland

I go walking every day for at least 40-50 mins to help with my weight loss programme (weight watchers)

have lost 19 lbs so far but have a long way to go yet but i wont give up

Get higlights in my hair for the summer, get my roots coloured every six weeks.

Go and have a facial every few months, its pure heaven.

I don't think I've seen this yet, but I'm into Botox. OK -- not really "into it" but I've had it done several times. Takes out the lines on my forehead, but I swear I can still frown and smile. I am not frozen and I do look much younger!

As for the hair stuff -- yes, I'd like to try laser. However, I can't do anything right now -- and for the next few months -- because dealing with the A caused my skin to break out so much the dermotologist put me on Accutane.

When on Accutane, the Dr. cautions you to be aware of mood swings, violent tendencies, suicidal thoughts, etc. along with dry skin, chapped lips, impaired vision, etc.

Hummmm...I seem to recall someone using the "twinkie" defense --

"I swear, Officer, I didn't see OW when I went into a violent rage caused by Accutane and ran over her. And, since my vision has been impaired by the medication, I couldn't tell she was lying there when I backed up and ran her over again."

Hee, heee

Husband loved his healthy low calorie dinner so much he is doing the dishes!! He also flirted with me while I was cooking and was complimenting my figure. This is getting normal around here. This is the nice easy meal that we had:
Baked Tilapia and Veggies(tilapia fish, 2 fresh quartered tomatoes, 1 vidalia onions, 1T minced fresh garlic, 2 jalepeno peppers, and lemon pepper seasoning to taste and a drizzle of olive oil - baked at 400 F for 20 minutes)

Steamed brussel sprouts (his serving had a little butter. Mine were plain)
Finished it off with a couple of Miller64 lowcal beers.

Ever since my H had his surgery (right after D-Day) we have been eating a lot healthier. We eat fish quite a lot and salads and try to stay away from fried foods as much as possible.

Right now is basebal season for us however (our DS plays) and it makes it difficult to make meals and go to the ball games so we tend to eat later than we should.

This is a great thread!! A foundation that you ladies might like is Bare Escentuals mineral powder. It's light, covers great, and skims over any lines / wrinkles. It doesn't even look like you're wearing foundation.

Something to try for those of you who like to be tanned--Neutrogena Air Mist sunless tanning spray. I personally like to go the tanning salon once or twice a week (I know--not good for you, but it really warms my bones!) and get some real sun on the weekends. But the spray really helps with a glow on your skin. I use it a couple of times a week between tanning sessions after I let the lotion dry on my skin after a shower. It's super easy to use, not messy, and it dries rather quickly.

I want some of that stuff too!

I like to use the tanning beds too. I know they're unhealthy, but when it's -30 outside before the windchill in the winter, I really need something to warm me up! I feel better when I'm tanned too. It's kind of weird, but I look thinner.

Someone mentioned the lasik eye surgery. I had that done about 10 years ago. Isn't it amazing?! I would recommend it to anyone.

BritsBrat, I just started my second set of Invisalign yesterday. My teeth are killing me today. I couldn't even eat a piece of bacon. I guess I'll be eating soup today. It will be worth it though! I'm really excited about the end result. I only have 7 months for my bottoms, and 11 months for my tops.

I do the laser hair removal for my bikini line, wanna do my legs but I can only afford one area at a time! And, it HURTS! Wax the arm pits. Do the Mani/Pedi. Really need to think about facials or peels. Keep the hair highlighted & all that. It's for me, WH has made it crystal clear he doesn't find me at all attractive. He gets nasty when other men do, but says he isn't the least bit jealous and that I should "take them up on it" JA
Got on the nice underwear kick, but really need to start thinking about the lingerie.

That quote broke my heart. Hugs to you, HTB.

Me too.

Keep doing these things for yourself, htb...your dumb H is the one who is going to lose out.

This really angers me...and makes me greatful that my H is a pro at complimenting me and helping me feel good about myself.

I'm the exact opposite - 8 months for by tops but 10 for my bottoms. Not sure exactly how that's going to work because my total number of trays for top and bottom on a two week schedule equal out to much longer.

Okay, I'm going to chime in here for something that's not for everyone - both cost wise and choice wise, but it has really been great for me....true confessions here.....I am pear shaped and for a very long time was 2-3 sizes larger on the bottom that I was in the waist and on top. This made buying dresses and suits nearly impossible. Also, I had a tiny waist and larger butt and legs which made it very difficult to find pants that fit. 15 years ago, I had my hips and thighs lipsuctioned and dropped from a size 9-10 on the bottom to a 4. Liposuction is not a weight loss alternative. You have to first have dieted down as far as you can and, then, the liposuction takes care of what is called diet-resistant fat. Also, liposuction will not take away cellulite and, in some instances, can make it worse. The results are not permanent if you do not maintain a healthy lifestyle, exercise and watch what you eat. Even doing so, when I hit my 40's and had a child, the fat pockets came back and were, once again, diet-resistant. They were not as bad this time - I only went up to a 6 or 8 and I could diet down to a 4, but to me, they were noticeable when I wore shorts or a bathing suit. (I live in Texas, so for 85% of the year I am in shorts) SO, in March, I had liposuction again. I am thrilled with the results.

In addition, a few years ago, my son did the deadly back of the head, head butt straight into my nose and broke it, resulting in a deviated septum, a slightly crooked nose and a bump. SO, while I was in for the liposuction, I had my nose fixed, which is exciting for me because for my entire life, I have hated my nostrils - the flared out sideways and you could look straight up my nose. When the fixed the deviated septum, they also reduced the size of my nostrils and squared out the ball at the tip of my nose quite a bit. I also had a cheek lift - also known as a mid-face lift. I look 10 years younger!!!

It angers me, too, MF. MyRev is great at complimenting me all of the time, even if I'm bumming around in sweats. I am so grateful for him and his grace.

Thank you. That's sweet, I thought they all said that!! Oh no!! Of course, it hurts my feelings but if you could see OW!! Yikes.
It's kind of interesting because it's left me not noticing or realizing that other men notice me. LOL
A guy flagged me over last week on the highway. I was afraid I had a flat or was dragging the gas nozzle. LOL So, I pulled right over. He came over to my car & said "I'm sorry, I just had to stop you! I've been trying to get your attention for 20 minutes & I didn't want you to get away. Can I get your number, I'd love to take you out" I was dumbfounded. Me?? Why me?? Didn't even realize it. My mom said "see!! Other men see it!!"
(she's in the "move on" camp)

Oooooohhhhhh....I am so jealous!!!

I actually have the opposite problem ~ "part" of my top half is bigger than my bottom half (only in "certain" areas and NOT because I had a boob job, it's just the way I am built...you'd think 4 pregnancies and nursing would change that, but it hasn't...neither has dieting, no matter what I stay the same in the chest area) and so I cannot wear dresses either...they NEVER fit right.

Bathing suits are also a problem unless it's the mix-and-match ones where I can get a small bottom and a large top.

My in-laws have mentioned that they may take us to Hawaii next summer...I soooo want to ask DH if I could have this done before then. I workout a lot and watch what I eat but cannot get rid of some of this.

Is it expensive? What is the recovery like?

I do the pedicure every so often and I always keep my toenails polished (Ike loves it when I get a lotus flower on there) and I used to get acrylics, but, now that I'm not working they aren't practical. They were really pretty, though.

I'm the type of person who gets really, really bored with the same workout all the time and they can't be very long. So, I found 10 Minute Trainer (a friend let me borrow it) and I looove it! I mainly want to tone up and get used to exercising again. I love yoga, too. There is a show that comes on at 5am called Inhale and I usually record it if I'm not already awake. It's amazing. I've lost 10lbs...woohoo! Just 25 more to go.

Luckily my husband likes fair, dark haired girls. He doesn't like it when I tan, so I don't. I do hate always being the palest in any picture, though. He also hates a lot of makeup,so I usually just wear some concealer, a little powder, eyeliner, and mascara. I have to admit I do love the really dark, thick Cleopatra eyeliner, though. I don't wear it, but I wish I could pull it off.

To those that had the Lasik surgery, did it hurt? Was it very expensive? It's something that I would like to get, but I'm not sure if I could afford it.

The Lasik surgery didn't hurt at all and it was really quick. As soon as you sit up, your vision is already improved. My eyes are very dry so I had a little extra swelling afterwards that they gave me extra antibiotics to help me heal. I was extremely nearsighted with astigmastism (spelling?). I did it when I was in my late 30's. I can still read street signs and can drive without any help but am reaching the age that I am starting to notice a change up close. Don't need readers yet but I probably will in the next few years. That is just a part of aging and can't be avoided. It has been a couple of years but I think it was about $1500 for both eyes.

You all would hate me, i am one of those lucky people who got good genes from my dad. I am 5 foot 8 inches tall and have weighed somewhere between 120-130 pounds (besides when i was pregnant) since i was 19 years old and i do not do anything. All of my co-workers get so mad at me because i eat all the time.

I also am one of those people who do not eat a lot at one sitting but a little bit every hour or two.

I am fortunate in that respect however i am very flat chested and i do not like that at all.

Breakfast today:
cheese omelet (1 egg, 2 egg whites, 1/4c lowfat cheddar cheese - cooked in Pam)

sauteed vidalia onion and tomatoes with garlic pepper seasoning, 1tsp of olive oil

bowl of fresh strawberries with 1/2tsp of sugar and splash of balsamic vinegar

coffee

Husband is home for rest of week for vacation. We have guests coming tomorrow for a guided fishing trip on Friday so I will have to sneak in my exercise.

It is still raining. Hopefully we can go down to the river and walk the dog along a trail that we like between storms. If not, we will go to the gym. I'll be cooking at home all day so I can control the food. I'll be cooking for our guests too so it will be healthy too.

Lost another 2 pounds today! That brings my total up to 29 pounds. Husband is telling me that I look really good.

I had Lasik surgery done two years ago. I have to wear reading glasses now but to wake up and be able to see is amazing!

I can't hate you. My size D natural boobs won't allow it.
We are all beautiful in our own way.

I'll second that. I don't wear it everyday but like the look and lightweight feel. I bought the eye care package too but haven't tried it out yet.

Ha, I coulda written this!!!

Though to be tall and slim and able to eat whatever I want could sure have it's benefits!

Be careful with the eye powder, br--it can get VERY MESSY!! But it looks good if you can get it on your eyes without smearing it under them!!

Another product to try is MAC's paint pot eye shadows. I have pretty oily skin and eyelids, and this eye shadow DOES NOT MOVE. They are a cream based shadow, but dry to a powder-like finish.

Sorry for all of the makeup statements, but I have always been a makeup fiend since I was a baby!! Makeup and hair products are two of my favorite subjects!!

Thanks for the tip FF.

Hair care!!! What is the best conditioner out there? I have tried the world of products. My hair is naturally curly and dry.

LOL Me too!!! But I'd give up the DDs for tall & slim anyday!! To be able to buy a bra somewhere other than VS!!! Oh yeah!!!
I guess everybody wants what they don't have. I have crazy thick hair. Everyone that cuts it always talks about what great hair I have. I would love to have that fine, thin hair my best friend from HS had!!! LOL

Mine too BR so i will be interested to hear this one. My hair is like horse hair LOL!!!

I justed looked this up. Does it really work? What results have you seen? I have dark thick straight lashes.
Here is the website that I found if others are interested. http://www.lilash.com/?gclid=CIek-ryYqJoCFQWfnAodjjGL1g

br--my hair is thick and straight and not too dry, but out of all the conditioners I have used in my life I love the Dove product line and also a few of the Suave ones. I find that these work just as well as salon brands - even my close relative that is a beautician who does my hair uses these!! She swears that they are just as good as the ones that sell for >$10/bottle.

I tried the mineral powders and Chewie complained that they did not flatter my skin or make it more youthful. At a certain age, you start to require creamier foundations.

Enjoying fresh spinach this morning, microwaved. Yum! I did add some butter and "secret salt" (a blend of 1 part each of 4 different peppers and salt).

It has worked pretty dramatically for me. I didn't believe it but I was desperate. I have naturally thin, baby fine hair and sparse lashes. My lashes grew much, much longer within a few weeks.

Lipo will not solve large breasts - you need breast reduction surgery for that...Don't know how much the breast reduction costs. Back in 1994, the price for lipo was $1800 per area (matching sides - e.g., hips on both sides, is considered one area). This go around back in March, it was a little over $2000 per area. Make sure you have a good, reputable doctor as taking too much out of an area can leave you with a dip or indentation. I was quite fortunate. I used the same doctor both times...the first time I picked him out of the phone book. This go around, I picked him because of how good he was the last time. As I said, I got lucky...My next door neighbor's DIL is a plastic surgeon but only does post-cancer breast reconstruction. When I asked her about my doctor (just 3 weeks ago) she said he is the best there is in town - and we live in a very large city with a huge medical center.

For mix and match bottoms, check out Venus Swimwear - gorgeous suits, huge selection, reasonable prices and its all mix and match. I am a 32 A, so I need the mix and match for that!

Last year, when Allure did the beauty awards my box was conditioners & treatments~! Other than the Alterna & Pureology which were crazy expensive!! The ones I liked best were good ol L'Oreal Nutri Gloss and John Frieda Frizz-ease for curly hair. It save my life after moving to the south!! My hair went nuts!!!

You always crack me up.

My H and i saw a show one time (i don't remember what it was about or anything) but there was a woman who was rather large chested and she was talking about giving herself a black eye with her boobs while running.

I told my H the only way i could give anyone a black eye with my boobs was to hit there head up against my chest !!!

I had the surgery 5 years ago and do not regret it one bit. It is not painful - just a little uncomfortable but not bad. Mine was $3,000, but I had REALLY bad eyesight (-6.00 in one eye, -5.5 in another and severe astigmatism) and my eye doctor is one of the ones that pioneered the surgery. I lost my close range vision but can still read without reading glasses and only use a magnifying mirror to see my face close up. When my close up vision goes, I will have the Crystalens procedure - it solves both near sighted and far sightedness.

For a great change, try using Eggbeaters instead of eggs and swap in feta cheese, spinach and tomatoes instead of cheddar. It sounds of gross but tastes fantastic!!!!

I have been using Sunsilk products here lately and they seem to help a little on my hair and make it so it is not so big.

Here are a couple of my favorite entrees for dinner:

Salmon Surprise
4 salmon fillets

GLAZE:
1 part soy sauce
1 part honey (you can have as much or as little of each of these as you prefer)
2 garlic cloves
rind of about half a lime
2 T lime juice

Mix glaze ingredients together and marinate the salmon for at least a 1/2 hour. Then grill and enjoy! Top with jalapeno/peach salsa:

3 fresh peaches, diced
Mince one jalapeno
T lime juice
t of fresh cilantro

It's wonderful and not very fattening!! We like it with asparagus and Blue Cheese potatoes.

Another one:

Pizza Chicken
4 boneless chicken breasts
Top with: Pizza sauce, Roma tomatoes, mushrooms (and any other vegetable that you prefer) and Italian seasonings. Bake at around 375 for around 40 minutes until done. Then add some low fat shredded cheese, put back in the oven until melted. Delish!! Great with steamed broccoli and rice.

Does anybody remember who put up the broiled green bean recipe--I think it was posted around Easter.

ME TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I agree with you fully about the Bare Minerals shadows - they are quite messy. I used to use the Bare Mineral but switched to the Jane Iredale mineral makeup because I have rosacea and the Jane Iredale helps control it better. I cannot use the Mac paint pots because of my lash extensions (you can't use anything that is a creme base or has oil in it because it breaks down the adhesive) but love their powder shadows. This past Saturday, I attended a presentation by 2 Mac Makeup Artists at my local Macy's - I didn't learn much more than I already figured out on my own, but did learn a lot about some of their products I hadn't tried before. Many of the makeup lines offer these types of sessions - ask at your local department stores.

Another thing I use to control my rosacea and oily skin, but they have recommended products for all skin types and skin problems, is the Jan Marini products. They are a bit expensive but I can't do without them because of how clear it keeps my skin. The line also has a product similar to the LiLash mentioned on this thread for growing eyelashes. There are several lines that have these eyelash stimulators which, interestingly, started as a medicine for glaucoma. Patients were noticing how their eyelashes grew and several manufacturers started marketing the ingredient that was causing lashes to grow as eyelash stimulator. The original manufacturer of the glaucoma medicine (I want to say it was Allergen) filed suit for patent infringement - don't know whether they won or lost, but the products are still on the market and now the original manufacturer is marketing its own eyelash stimulator!!!

You all are great for starting this thread!!!! I need motivation too. Six weeks ago I found out I have pre-diabetes. It is when your blood sugar is too high but you can still do something about it and bring it back to normal again.

I have brought mine back to normal by eating no sugary foods, only fruit. THen less carbs, about 50-100 grams of carbs a day. Then mainly vegies and proteins. I lost 11 lbs or so and want to lose another 15 lbs. My blood sugar is now normal. I am starting to exercise too. I feel more energy, less moody, no food cravings. Last nite for Cinco de Mayo I made a non sugar margarita. It was good. Alcohol is sugar but the non sugar margarita did not raise my blood sugar.

Non sugar Margarita:

4 limes, squeezed
1 or 2 oranges, squeezed
2 OZ of so tequila
Two or three packets of Stevia sweetner
A splash of Margarita mix (has sugar but a splash wont hurt)

Mix all these together and blend with ice or pour over ice. Once in a while we can celebrate! Like a drink or glass of wine. With a gin and tonic, you can use diet tonic water. IO can have a drink rarely without sugar, just not all the time.


I wish that BEFORE I had the high blood sugar problem, that I had EATEN like a diabetic. You know, no sugary foods, few fatty foods, and lots of vegies, protein and few carbs. I would have been thinner, in shape, and more energy.

Shoot, with my 32 A's I couldn't even do that!!!!!!

I have very straight, very fine, silky hair, BUT i had a perm many years ago that completely fried it (note to self, do NOT perm if you have any bleach in your hair :P ) and I found that Frizz-Ease was a godsend! It was the only thing that could tame it at all.

When I was blonde, I used Redken Extreme Shampoo and Conditioner. They worked really well and weren't TERRIBLY expensive. They smell good, too. Have you tried Fresh Curls by Redken?

chrysalis, I am 48 so close to your age. I use Mary Kay mineral powder foundation and it looks great. The secret is in using good moisturizer and I use a touch of cream foundation on a couple of problem spots. I get many compliments from people about my skin these days. Most don't eve realize I have foundation on.

Hair conditioners - I have extremely baby fine hair that growns poker straight. I highlight my hair to give it body and even that doesn't help all that much! I use the Aveda line of products because they are so gentle on the hair and do a great job. They have products geared toward all hair types.

And as for you with naturally curly thick hair - I HATE YOU!!!

One other thing one of you mentioned that after two weeks sugar, salt and fat cravings go away. This is so true! Two weeks without sugary foods, huge amounts of carbs, fatty foods, fast foods, and salty foods like chips....

And voila! The food cravings are all gone. Wow!

It is worth the two weeks, to accomplish this.

I have dry, sensitive skin and it's hard for me to find a good cleanser and moisturizer. Most are for oily skin. However, while I was pregnant I found one that I LOVE. It's at Bath and Body Works and it's by C.O. Bigalow. I use the cleanser, the Rosewater tonic, and the moisturizer. I've never had anything help my skin so much. It looks smoother and it's definitely less dry.

Oh no, I don't want anything done to "solve" my large breasts, I am sure DH would NEVER go for that, LOL!

Thanks for the info on lipo though...it's certainly something I would love to have. I work so hard but am very frustrated about some areas...too bad my H doesn't agree! Hahahaha!

Thanks for the tips on the swimwear, I'll check that out!

Oh...and to those of you who have thick hair...haev you tried having it thinned? I have a LOT of hair as well, and when it was long it wasn't a problem because the weight made it not so "big"...but now that it is shorter, I have it "thinned" out everytime I get it cut. It looks great and makes a huge difference.

My hair is cut in a "graduated bob" (I believe that is what it's called, anyways!)...shorter and choppy and just above my neckline in the back, longer in the front, to just under my chin.

This is a great haircut if you have thick hair like I do. My hair is also wavy but I use a flat iron to smooth it out and it works great.

Sounds like you and I have the EXACT same haircut, MF!!



I have to have mine texturized also to help thin it out some. That's a problem that I don't mind having, though!

What does "texturized" mean??? Never heard of that...

It's where they use those weird looking scissors (lots of little teeth on them) and they run it through different spots in your hair so that it's not really noticeable. I think they are also called thinning shears.

Thats a great weight loss so far, well done. I have my weigh in tomorrow morning so i am hoping there will be another couple of pounds gone. Will let you know how i get on

Hey now, no need to bring up your sex life.

What sex life?

BB that is what i am too but i think if we hit them hard enough we MIGHT be able to black their eye LOL!!

I have tried getting my hair thinned out but then the little pieces stick out every where.

My hair is thick, coarse, and wavy so if it is humid or rainy at all my goodness i call it my hair helmet.

My ODD uses the frizz-ease serum and it works well for her but not so much for me.

I love all that stuff. I was just using what was in the fridge.

Went for a one hour walk with hubby down by the river with our two dogs. Our poor labrador is limping because hubby took her and ran her for 30 minutes of the walk. I had the boston terrier. It finally stopped raining. Came back and had some grilled summer squash and whole wheat pasta with broccoli and a no-fat alfredo sauce concoction. I should probably go to the market soon. LOL

My clothes are suddenly getting big.

If I get any more attractive I'll be fighting 20-year-olds off with a stick

I have to comment on this thread. During my fwxw A, she constantly gained weight. Yet, I was the one going to the gym, working out, playing sports, taking care of my looks. I mean WTF??! It was like Bizarro world in my sitch. Bad enough I was the young pool boy and he was the old "whatever". Does this happen? The betrayed is the one keeping up w/ their appearance more so than the wayward. I'll tell you this, it minimized any blow to the self-esteem. Had I looked like crap, I might have been depressed..DUDE

Trust me...it can be a nightmare. Whenever I get my hair cut, women who pass by say how they love my curls and they hate their straight hair...I'd trade in a minute.


Water is not our friend LOL. Since moving to a more humid climate I have expanded my collection of baseball caps.

Dove and Sauve won't do it. The best I've found so far is the Redken products that Verve mentioned. The Intense Renewal moisturizing mask works well but I'm still looking for some industrial strength products that are humid proof not just resistant.

I almost tried that Japanese straightening process but it seemed a bit extreme and I don't want my hair falling out because the stylist messes up and it's expensive.

BlackR,
I had Japanese straightening and my hair did fall out. Thank God I have a lot of hair so it wasn't noticeable. I also love the Redkin products and my new "Instyler" iron better than the flat iron.

Dude,
You're wrong - it's not always BS working on looks. My FWH is the one that went to gym and while working on him he also decided to start living single life and forget he had wife and kids. WSs don't care about BS - they are selfish and only think about their needs.

GG

Glad I didn't. I did get a Brazilian Keratin Treatment once and loved the results but it only lasted maybe 6 weeks and I didn't like the way my hair felt afterwards. Not as invasive as the Japanese straigthening but it was still time consuming and expensive. There was only one reputable stylist within 200 miles of my house too.

Takes me forever to find a good stylist. I'm not to far from New York City - I could go and spend a fortune but I keep searching closer to home!!

GG

Dude my H has always worked out and been active. If anything it pisses me off that when he was at his best in the last few years it was during his time with skankho. He's back to wanting to look better and working on himself in that area for me and for him but it still ticks me off.

BR,
I'm the one that looks good now and my FWH is a little nervous about someone stealing me away. I have to admit I like the attention from other men but I would never be a WW. I would D first.

GG

I know the feeling gg - my H is more sensitive to any male attention I get now. He might joke about it at first but if I don't dismiss it, he starts to think hmmmmmm and tells me he loves me a million times. I don't think I look much different now then pre-A but I do make more effort to take time for myself now.

Don't you love all that extra attention and at the same time feel sick to your stomach that they think you would be like them and stoop as low (having an A)? It irks me when I see my FWH give me a look of suspicion for something stupid like me smiling for nothing.

Gg

Ready for this -- a real 180 for me....I signed up for an 8 week pole dancing class. And it's a friendly class -- with my two sisters, sister-in-law, and friends.

I was pretty much forced to commit and now I'm looking forward to it. Except...I had to sign a liability form. Hummmmmm.....

Oh, well...since WH is busy with Skankyho and since the D is in process, I might as well get ready for life down the road.

I wonder how much it costs to get a pole installed in my bedroom........

LOL. Good job, Holyheart! Pole dancing sounds like fun. They have some classes where I am and I've thought about looking into it, but I always forget about it during their open hours.

Tell me how it goes!

Lord, it's every parent's nightmare to think of their daughter swinging around a pole.

Good for you! I've heard many women like it for the strength building side of it..kind of like pilates. Plus confidence building sounds like a +++.

A liabilty form? LMAO Don't hurt yourself HH.

Yeah -- my poor parents! Especially since it's not only me, but my two sisters and my sister-in-law. And we're not spring chickens -- 45, 46, 48 and 50.

Now if we can only get mom to join us.....Happy Mother's Day!

Maybe we can audition for the "[censored] Cat Dolls in Menopause."

I'm the same way. It flys everywhere. Although the shampoos & conditioners are great, the Frizz-ease serum never worked for me. One thing that does work, better than anything else I've ever found is Kloran Conditioning Balm with Mango. Doesn't make it heavy or greasy just smoooooth. My DD said "I've always wondered why people on tv didn't have fly aways like me. This must be it" It really is amazing.

For hair products, I love the Kevin Murphy products. A little goes a long way which is good because they are expensive. They smell really good. I get compliments on the smell all the time. I have thick wavy hair that frizzes and they work well without weighing it down. I like their Motion Lotion for days that I don't want to blow dry.

My hair is very thick and heavy, but very, very fine, like baby hair. It's hard to get it to do anything. I have to spray, tease, back comb, spray some more, curl, it's really annoying. So, I just a have a simple, layered, choppy cut with the deep side part bangs. I run a straightening iron through it to make sure it's perfectly straight and I'm done. It's nice.

But, my point was, before I got this haircut, I struggled with my hair because I wanted big, bouncy, wavy, 80's supermodel (Texan ) hair. Yeah, with my hair type, that ain't happenin'. However, I did find that if I use Big Sexy Hair thickening spray, my hair is much bigger. This stuff is a godsend! It doesn't look good when I use it with my new haircut, but if I wanted big bouncy hair, it helped me get as close as possible.

Anyone else tried it?

Who exercised today? I walked my dog for 40 minutes. My dog got tired and I had to stop. She ran with my husband yesterday and tired too quickly. We are on vacation so I am glad that I got some exercise.

I exercised by staggering up and down the stairs and carrying the baby around all day (we are both really sick). I'm ready to get back to 10-Minute Trainer. I feel less like I'm going to hack up a lung when I'm done.

20 minutes on the Wii Fit this morning. That was my 30th straight day of working out. I may only be down 17 lbs but my pants are hanging on me and today I put on a shirt I couldn't even button before!

Still,
I'm going to have to try the KM product. I never heard of it.

I do get exercise daily. At my place of employment I've created a routine of walking the halls and climbing the stairs - it's a great workout and gets me away from my desk and computer. I have always found that if I work exercise into my daily routine I'm better at sticking to it. I would like to get a bike soon - we've moved to a great area for bike riding.

GG

This is a really great, positive thread. You guys are doing so good! It's made me realize that I should be paying more attention to my PA too. Only problem for me is that FWH finds me really attractive already. He's a health nut and cooks all of our meals, so I don't really have much of a change in eating habits to work on. We both work out together daily. I've never been frumpy and am always stylish with clothes and makeup. Yet, I don't get that tongue wagging response from him. And it doesn't phase him when other men (and occasionally women) find me attractive. It's always, "of course I think you look good. you always look good". Any suggestions for how to step it up a notch?

LOL, quietstorm. I asked FWH if there was anything else I could do to make myself more attractive to him. His answer, God bless him, was that he found me absolutely beautiful and there was nothing I could do to make myself more so. HOWEVER, he would appreciate more SF. LOL. LOL.

V, I would welcome more SF - lol! I would love to come home and have my clothes ripped off. Other people want to, but not FWH. I want him to not be able to keep his hands off me.

He does compliment my smile a lot though. He says that sometimes he acts like a complete goofball just so that he can see my smile. I've seen a couple of comments on this thread about teeth whitening and those invisible braces. I'm going to look into that.

Please keep the ideas coming. This is really great!

Have you thought about changing your hairstyle or hair color? How 'bout bathing in some essential oils such as rose or sandalwood (or sandalwood rose which is my personal fave, :P )? I'm not very good with coming up with stuff like that because my FWH is easy as heck. Just give him SF and he's good!

That's sweet that he acts silly just to see you smile. That's a really good sign! Go Mr. QS!

LOL @ Mr. QS. I like that!

Yeah, I change my hair and color all the time. I would LOVE to bath in scents and stuff, but he has a really sensitive nose. There is only one perfume that I can wear around him that doesn't burn the inside of his nostrils (Juicy Couture) and I can only use like one spritz.

This thread has really got me going. After doing some more thinking, I recall that he does like to see me in flowing skirts that twirl when we dance. So I'm definately going to pick up some more of those and bring out the ones that I already have more frequently.

Also, whenever I wear a nice nightgown he compliments me. No ripping off of the clothes (smile), but he does express that he likes it. I don't think they have VS where I am, but I will try to order online. Only thing is I don't see how it can be all that attractive with my hair rollers and granny glasses! But whatever works, right?

Man how I love MB!!

LOL!

Do you have to wear your hair rollers to bed at night? And, have you thought about Lasik eye surgery? Ike and I talked about saving up for that, for me. He likes my glasses, but it would be really nice to go swimming and be able to see (or to NOT miss spots when I shave in the shower!).

Does he like long fingernails or painted toenails? How 'bout a spray tan? Men are so different, you never know. My husband would be mad if I came home blonde and tanned, but someone else's wouldn't like my fair skin and really dark hair. I love the differences in people! That's one of the things that make us humans so amazing!

Hi. I have only posted a couple of times, but this is something I know a thing or two about. If you are worried about your complexion and looking for foundation, forget the minerals, there is only one way to go - straight to the Prescriptives counter! They get the shade and the tone right! And if you are like me, the whitest person alive with freckles and an odd tone (Blue/Red), you can get it custom mixed at some counters that matches you exactly. A bit more expensive, but they do powder too! You can't go wrong with it.

Eyeshadow - I'm a fan of MAC because they have awesome shades and I like bright colors.

Shampoo and Conditioner - I use Biolage. It's always been the best by a mile and ULTA has it on sale for Buy 2, Get 2 right now. Their Conditioning Balm is worth the money. But, if your hair needs some SERIOUS conditioning help, K-Pak by JOICO in the brown bottles. There are like 3 different conditioners that you use in a sequence. I have had multiple perms, straightened my hair, swam in pools and colored many times, plus wind damage - after using this stuff, it's like running your hand through silk. Awesome!

Styling products - if they are good at shampoo and conditioner, stay away from their styling products and vice versa. TIGI has the best bar none.

Now, I just don't know how to get my brittle nails to grow stronger. Any suggestions? Also could use a bit of help growing my hair longer.

Oh, and I've lost ten pounds. Would like to lose 15 more, but really only need to in the boobs as it is difficult to find cute undies and such for "G, where are my feet?" cups!

You know, I'm from the south (and I don't know if this is popular all over the US or not), but my mom and her friends SWEAR by Mane and Tail horse shampoo to make your hair grow longer. I don't have any experience with it, but they seriously think it works.

V,
Yes, I have to wear the rollers. My hair is pathetic and will fall out if I put heat on it every day so I have to wear the rollers for body. Sometimes I wear weaves that don't require maintenance, so maybe I could just save the nice sleep outfits for then.

I get manis and pedis done regularly. He's never known me any other way. In fact, I've got him hooked on the treatments now!

I will add Lasik to the list of things to do. I'm just afraid to get it done overseas. And I think you can't wear any eye makeup for two weeks or something. The horror!

I'm from OK (we consider ourselves in the South, Midwest and Southwest) and I have heard it works too. I've only known people with long flowing beautiful hair like horse's manes that use this, so that should say something. They sell it at Wally World, or your local feed store.

As for getting brittle nails to grow stronger -- I seem to recall gelatin tablets use to be popular way back when for help in strengthening nails.

I have natural ones so I try to keep some kind of polish -- even clear -- on them all the time to keep them from breaking.

And about growing your hair longer....my teenage daughter suggested that I do just that the other day. She said she'd been noticing how nearly all older women wear their hair short and said I should grow mine out while I still can.

I do wonder about the timing of her comment because it came the same day she saw WH with OW out in public and OW has long blond hair while mine is short and brown. Hummmmmmmmm.........

My mom used to have long hair and she cut it as she grew older, saying that longer hair makes older women look older. However, I don't think that is the case. It really depends on the cut.

Look at Sophia Loren or Raquel Welch (wigs, I know!) or Demi Moore (plastic surgery, but MAN she looks good).

Hoof cream. You can buy it at a riding store, some department/drug stores, and online. My dad's a veterinarian and has been giving me supplies of it for years. Just think how hard a horse's hooves need to be to hold up and manuever a horse... It works.

Also i do not know how many of you color your hair yourself, but i do and i have a lot a gray (one of the bad things i got from my dad and i think i heard someone else mention graying early heck i had so much gray by the time i was 30 i looked old already) anyway Clairol Nice and Easy Gray Solutions is AWESOME.

All the others i have tried start showing the gray again pretty quickly, this one last for quite a while on the grays.

And i use Oil of Olay face cream every day and i recently tried their regenerist peel and i like what it did for the wrinkles.

Verve--my hair is the same as yours--very straight, fine and thick--I think that is why some of the people with dry, curly hair don't like the products that I use. I don't need a lot of conditioning for my hair. I LOVE Big Sexy products!! I use the Play Dirty to really make it hold. I love the Redken Full Force mousse for holding too. I use the Paul Mitchell Fast Drying Sculpting Spray for my every day hairspray. I used to use SO MUCH spray in the '80's when I had my big hair--I know all of the product companies went into depression whenever I quit perming and went naturally straight!!!

I'll have to try that stuff. Usually I just wear it straight (mainly because it won't hold curl easily), but sometimes, a different look is nice. I'd like to be able to have some big hair if the hubby and I go out or something.

LOL @ hairspray company depression! I had some BIG, spiral permed hair myself. I'd like to have hair that full and bouncy now!

my hair is essentially straight, has a tiny wave to it. Flick likes it down which bugs me because no its longer it gets in my face all the time. Suggestions for long hair that he likes down but wont get in my face??? Bangs not allowed.

Re hair length, I read somewhere once that young women should have long hair, middle aged, shoulder length and older should ahve it short. This was an idea about how to keep yourself looking younger I think. I do agree 'some' women, look better with short hair, but I tend to prefer longer hair.

My H is one of the few men I know who actually prefers short hair. Sometimes I look back at pics of when my hair was long and I miss it some...I had some pretty great long hair, if I do say so myself. I got TONS of compliments on it.

<sigh> But it's pretty cute short too, and H compliments me on it ALL THE TIME. Seriously...just last night he pulled me on the bed with him and ran his hands through my hair and said "you have great hair, I love this haircut on you...and you are so pretty!".

Hmmmm...the man knows what to say to have a "good night".

What is this "horse's hoof" stuff and where do you get it? I have awful nails...they chip and split all over the place. But ever since I got my new wedding ring last year, I've often thought that it would look so much nicer on hands that had decent-looking nails.

I need something easy though, I am pretty low maintenace and don't want to spend a lot of time on my nails.

I think that it depends on your face and how you are aging. If you are getting jowly or saggy, then long hair without layers around the face can drag the look farther down. If your hair is too long and just hangs there, that can be unflattering too. Layers are great because they give the hair movement and lighten up the look. Layers around the face if done properly can be very attractive.

Bare Legs

I don't wear stockings because I feel that they age you. Plus my husband hates them. He loves my legs. I try to keep some color on them because I am very fair and my husband always compliments them when I have a little sunless tanner or natural color on them. There are two products that I have that I use when I want to look a little extra special. I like the Sally Hansen Air Brush Legs. It is great for covering spider veins, bug bites, nicks or bruises. For a little evenning shimmer I like the Michael Kors Leg Shine/Shimmer. It smells great and gives my legs a glossy shimmer. It makes them look more toned for a special evenning out.

The really good nail cream *hoof cream actually* is called

HEALTHY HOOF

Look it up on Google. It is sold on Amazon, etc.

I use Mane 'N Tail Hoofmaker. I use it like a hand cream at bedtime, applying a healthy dose on my nails and cuticles to soak in overnight. Or while I'm working at my desk (I work from home), I'll apply some. It's available in tack shops, some drugstores, and online.

I'm sure Bubbles4U's Healthy Hoof product works at least as well and is just as easy to use.

My H loves great smelling hair. I have really thick hair that tends to get frizzy, especially in FL humidity! I'm looking for a good, reasonably priced serum to help with both. I want something with a fairly strong smell so my H will really notice it. Any suggestions?

The best smelling stuff that I have ever come across is the Kevin Murphy line of hair care. It is expensive though. You don't have to use as much though so it lasts longer.

Okay ladies,
It is a new week. I ran about 1/3 to 1/2 (walked the rest) of the 5k this weekend with my hubby and liked the way it tightened up my legs and rear. I am getting ready to run/walk my dog for my morning exercise and training for next Saturday's race. I want to gradually get to the point that I am running the whole way. After my exercise, I have to get cleaned up and pretty for my lunch date with hubby. Going to the gym with him after work. What are the rest of you lovely ladies doing today to take care of yourselves?

Going to the gym, then home for a bubble bath!

Re: "Healthy Hoof" and the "Mane and Tail" stuff...if it isn't too much trouble, could someone post the ingredients of these items if you have the bottle?

I have to be extremely careful of topical ingredients that I use due to some medication I am on...certain ingredients make my meds completely ineffective, and I can't find the ingredients list online.

Thank you to whomever is kind enough to do this!!!

Hi everyone!

I was just lurking a bit and thought I'd share with you. This is a link to my blog where I have my before and after shots. http://thenewjennifer.blogspot.com/

After finding MB and listening to all your great advice, I made some major changes in my appearance. (dh had long distance affair 1/07 - 5/07).

My photos will show you the improvements I made to my body. But they don't show you the improvements I made to my self-esteem. I started taking time to work on my appearance AND taking time to pamper myself. That is soooo important! I was never the type to go to a salon or buy expensive clothes or anything. But you don't have to be! Just remembering to take time to relax and do things for yourself really boosts your self-confidence.

My other saving grace during that stressful time was YOGA! I started practicing yoga by using video tapes and recording shows on our local stations. It gave me exercise and also reduced my stress levels greatly. When things got crazy with dh and I felt like I couldn't take anymore, I went into my own little yoga meditation world. Not only did it refresh me, but it also helped to calm me down and make me think more clearly. I highly recommend trying it. You don't need a lot of fancy equiptment or expensive gear. You can also find free videos online - yogajournal.com and hulu.com

Also - as a did more yoga and strengthened my body, my body size decreased a lot because I was toning. There were many months where I didn't lose ANY weight, but was dropping pants sizes like you wouldn't believe! Eventually I started running also, and it felt so good! In the before shots, I couldn't walk up the stairs without being out of breath.

So here we are 2 years since the after shots. I've gained back about 10 lbs. Not too bad, but I know I have some work to do and I've started running again now that the weather is getting warmer.

I guess my point here is this: I did this for myself. I wanted to look good. I needed to feel good. And I did it. I didn't do it for my husband. I did it for me. Because I deserved it. But guess what? It also made him more attracted to me. It made him see me as a physically and emotionally healthy person. And it's always nice when you go out somewhere with your spouse and they see other men looking at you!

BTW, in all of the photos I am wearing the exact same glasses! That just shows you the difference in the size of my face!

J4J--WOW--just WOW!!! Thanks for sharing--very inspiring!!

Ingredients in Mane 'N Tail Hoofmaker:

Water, Stearamidopropyl Dimethylamine Lactate, Distearydimonium Chloride, Cetearyl Alcohol, Polysorbate 60, PEG-150 Stearate, Steareth 20, Cetyl Alcohol, Stearyl Alcohol, Glycerine, Coconut Oil, Sodium Shloride, Vegetable Oil, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Hydrolyzed Protein, Lanolin, Pet-25 Castor Oil, Allantoin, Isopropyl Alcohol, FD&C Yellow #5, FD&C Yellow #6.

Well dangitall...I can't use this. Thanks so much for doing this anyways!

Anyone have the Healthy Hoof bottle and is willing to post the ingredients?

J4J...holy cow girl, those are some amazing changes. D*mn good job!

Wow, J4J!

Wow!!!

I love that this thread has been so welcome and helpful here! Lots of good information and inspiration.


I used to get the same response when my husband was accustomed to me looking a certain way all the time. I noticed that I would get a special compliment when I changed it up a bit. For example, when he saw me in office clothes all the time, he would notice me more in casual clothes. When I wasn't working and he got used to seeing me in casual clothes, he would pay attention when I dressed up more. Can you try changing up your hair or makeup or maybe try some different styles of clothing? I think guys notice more when something is different.

How are we doing today? I met my husband for lunch and had a grilled chicken salad and compliments from my hubby. My husband told me to buy myself something pretty yesterday so I went clothes shopping today and picked up a new pair of knee length capri jeans and a cute aqua colored t-shirt with a flattering cut. I got some cool turqoise drop earrings to complete the outfit. This outfit will be great for our casual outings. I have dropped three sizes since this started. I didn't walk my dog today because there is a thunderstorm here today. Tomorrow I'll touch up the roots.

Good morning ladies! Its a new day and new chance to make ourselves look great. I had a breakfast burrito this morning and black coffee for breakfast (eggbeaters, low-carb tortilla, low-fat cheese, onion, and salsa = 330 calories). My plan for exercise is to run/walk my dog and go to the gym with hubby after work.

Did anybody watch the Biggest Loser last night? The winner was the 48 year old woman! Her husband kept whistling at her from the audience. She lost 140 pounds and people are giving her terrible feedback at the website because she sent her daughter home in the contest- even though her daughter volunteered to go home so her mom could stay. Some were saying that because mom already had a husband and children she should sacrifice for her daughter.

I did watch Biggest Loser - isn't it exciting how these people have turned their lives around? They don't look at all like they did when they started - even in their facial features - and imagine what their self esteem must be like!

I used to wear my hear VERY short and spikey. It looked really good on me but, let's face it, out in the dating world where now find myself, most guys like women's hair longer....so I'm growing mine out - and its at THAT stage. VERY bad hair day today!!!!

I'm going to take our youngest DD out for a walk (she'll bike) on the nice trail behind our house; then to the gym this afternoon to lift.

DH is in a photography school and his last assignment is to take "special" (ahem) pictures of a human subject. He has asked me to model and I am mortified, but honored (maybe???) that he has asked me to do this. He is so excited he can hardly contain himself!

So I've been on Atkins Induction for 2 weeks now and will keep that up. I feel so much better without all those carbs bogging me down anyways. Plus bathing suit season is just around the corner, and I'm happy to be trimming out for it!

You are a brave soul! Do you think those teachers keep a catalog of all the special pictures? What's up with that? I had my husband take some special pictures of me (without my face) and I have sent them to him at random times in text messages. He loves them.

"Brave soul" is right, LOL!

I don't think they keep copies of them because he gets them all back...I suppose they could make copies, but I'm not that worried. We will probably choose pics in which you cannot see my face, anyhow.

FWH has asked me to text special pics of myself to him too, so I took some of myself (not an easy task!) a while ago and he loves them as well....so much so that recently he told me some new ones would be fun.

Guess I should do that at some point...just haven't gotten around to it. Soon, though...very soon.

What a great thread! I'd like to work in this area a litte more- I'm up 22 lbs from when my hubby and I got together.

Things I already do. Hair is thin and fine but it's longer because that is the way hubby likes it. I mostly trim my own bangs and color myself- it's a golden blonde. I do have gel nails- but I had them before I met DH. He loves for me to scratch his head- and I cannot grow them- so he doesn't mind paying for that little expense. I get pedicures every now and then- not all the time- probably every two months.

He found out yesterday he's pre diabetic so whatever diet he goes on I'm going to go on as well. We're also about to start exercising more. We were doing it for a bit and then got out of the habit.

I used to wear Bare Essentuals but I thought that it was aging me and I started with a lighter liquid foundation. During the week I keep it pretty simple- foundation, blush, mascara and some lip gloss. I do up my eyes normally on the weekend. I try to dress stylish- or as much as I can on our budget but I've got cute clothes from last summer I cannot wear anymore due to the weight gain. I don't use any special shampoos or conditioners.

What about fragrance- anyone really into that here? I always like to smell good- every day. I have gotten three new scents over the last several months for summer (mother's day etc)- they are Daisy by Marc Jacobs, Moonlight Sparkle by Escada and Light Blue by Dolce and Gabanna.

I've been changing up my eating some- no chips- sodas- or candy lately. Not much change in the scale but it will be once I start exercising again.

Last minute change in plans...FWH has to go about an hour away to a supplier's office and has asked me to go with him...he'll be calling soon to tell me when he will be here, so I'm getting ready now...will still try to make it to the gym this afternoon if we are back in time, however!

A little unexpected UA time is always a good, fun thing!

Since I lost 20 lbs. on the affair diet, I am now a 8-10 on bottom but a 36DDD on top! NOT fair! Those things do not look pretty after nursing two kids. They just never get smaller unless they get longer and flatter, lol!

Hey, I could swear I read someone on this thread say that they had the "InStyler"...I've looked and can't seem to find the post, but if it is one of y'all I'd love to know if you like it before I order it to use on dd and I...Also, I wonder if it is in any stores or do you actually have to do the mail order thing?

THANKS Ladies!

Mrs. W

I'm back. I had to put some perfume on.... I like to wear Alure in warm weather and Obsession in the cold weather. Have worn them for years as signature scents. Hubby has always liked the way that I smell. I often forget to put anything on so thanks for the reminder. I guess that is why my perfumes last so long.

I have to talk about my LiLash again. I was visiting DD22 in NY and she froze in mid-sentence to express shock at my long eyelashes! I think they've grown at least a quarter inch, she thought more. Great stuff. I'm still on my first tube, thank goodness.

How long before you noticed a difference?

I want some of that!!!! Can it be bought over the Internet? I havn't heard of it in Ireland.

As for perfumes i like .....hmmmm where do i start!
Channel Alure
Eternity
Dolce & Gabanna
Jean Paul Gautier
There are lots more that i love but i just cannot think of the names at the moment

I have found it on the internet but haven't bought it yet.
http://www.lilash.com/

Gabzz,
How is your walking and healthy eating going? When do you weigh in again?

I would say 3-4 weeks before I noticed a difference. Yes, it is an internet purchase.
After 6 weeks or so of daily use, you just use it a few times a week. Paint it on like eyeliner.

As for fragrance, I love Clinique Happy, Victoria's Secret Very Sexy, and Dolce and Gabbana's The One. MyRev likes clean scents, so I go with what he likes!

Thanks for the reminder about the scents. My hubby came home for lunch and noticed that I smelled nice. He took an extra long lunch.

You GO, girl!!!

Well I never made it to the gym yesterday, we had a couple of beers at lunch and I was beat by the time I got home...so napped instead.

I'll hit the gym this morning instead. I'll walk there and back to get a little extra oomph in my WO.

I never worked out yesterday either. I did eat healthy and stayed within my calories. Got sidetracked during the day and had a couple of beers with dinner and didn't want to work out after that. Today is a new day though. Have had a bowl of cereal and black coffee for breakfast. Going to clean up the house and then run/walk the dog. Will be pretty and smell good for lunch with hubby. He's coming home again today. Going to color my hair at home this morning, give myself a facial, and have third laser hair removal treatment today. Going to the gym after work with hubby.

Oooh, FogFree, I loooove Victoria's Secret Very Sexy! That's one of my faves. I also like Sandalwood Rose by Bath and Body Works, but they have discontinued it :-(. It smelled sooo good. I wear those two more than anything, but Warm Vanilla Sugar from Victoria's Secret is good also. I also like Poison by Christian Dior, but I never have the money to purchase that. ;-)

Edit: It's actually Vanilla Lace from Victoria's Secret...Ooops. I do like Warm Vanilla Sugar from B&B Works though.

Thanks for the reminder again. I have the Warm Vanilla Sugar splash from bath and body works in my cabinet. It is yummy too. I need a spritz.

I faltered yesterday a little bit on my eating- today it's right back to trying to eat healthy. I still haven't had any chocolate in a few days- which is a miracle for me.

I used to love chocolate and have a candy bar pretty regularly. I can't remember the last time I had one. I know that I haven't had any sweets or even cravings since d-day. My appetite is just now coming back. Lemonade from the lemons I guess.

My H and I are already divorced, but I just found this thread...I started with Prism (weight loss) two weeks ago, am losing weight (goal: 33 lbs). I have two Siberian Huskys (totaling 120 lbs) I walk twice a day, so that's forced exercise I can't get out of! My goal isn't so much about looks as it is stamina, I want quality of life and am looking forward to losing "the pack" so I can hike easier! Doing the right thing is definitely an esteem booster, something all of us BS can use!

I not only did Prism, but I ended up being a leader for about a year and a half. What a great program! Definitely helps you on the inside and out. I lost nearly 40 pounds. Gained back a few over the years, but when I went back to following the basic principles again coupled withe the A crap, I'm down to nearly my Prism low.

And last night I had my first pole dancing class. What fun! And to clarify -- it was a closed class with my sisters and sister-in-law and a few friends. No outsiders.

The class meets once a week for 8 weeks. The instructor says that at the end, we will be able to swing upside down and do a whole routine. Each of us have our own pole during class to learn the moves.

Just sad that I'm the only one not able to "practice" at home since WH is gone.

But -- never know. Might come in handy for the next Mr. Holyheart!!!

I'll keep you guys posted.

Scents - Chanel No. 5 and Shalimar when I go out. For everyday use I'll use Bath and Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar body spray. Most days I usually forget though. But I use Palmar's cocoa butter lotion just about everyday I still have a light sweet scent. Kids and hubby love it. I also really like the Bliss lemon and sage body butter and Origin's Ginger Souffle. Bliss can be very price but you can find some of their products at TJ Maxx sometimes and Origin's has discount outlets.

I use Vaseline brand cocoa butter lotion. It smells so good! The best body lotion that I've ever found I got at a tanning salon. It makes my skin feel fabulous! It was rather pricey though, but the bottle has lasted me about two years. I can even use it on my face and it doesn't make me greasy or anything.

Now that I think about it, I need to get some more. It's the best!

That reminds me about my favorite lotion that I use everyday that smells and feels so good: Jaqua Buttercream Frosting body butter. I love this stuff!

I got my armpits, etc. lasered yesterday and there is no stubble this morning! The pits really hurt though - ouch! I ran/walked a 5k by the river with hubby after work yesterday. We took the same route as our scheduled race for Saturday. I ran every other light pole. Hubby took me out to dinner afterwards and I ordered a mexican shrimp cocktail. It was so good that I found a recipe online to share: http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Mexican-Shrimp-Cocktail/Detail.aspx
The one that I ordered did not have a whole avocado. It just had a sliced wedge as a garnish.

Today, I had a smoothie for breakfast. Planning to have turkey burgers for lunch and pasta for dinner (running tomorrow). For exercise, I am going to walk dog for an hour and we will probably go latin/swing dancing tonight. Love getting dressed up for the dancing. There is a YMCA that hosts ballroom dancing in our area on Friday nights. They have lessons too. Looking forward to the weekend!

For everyday scents, I also love the Bath and Body Works Coconut Lime Verbena--makes me feel like I've been to a spa at the ocean!!

Vows4Good and HH--what is Prism?? I've never heard of it!

Lifetime has a new show called Cook Yourself Thin. If you are in the US Central time zone it is on right now.
Here is a link to recipes for those interested that don't have it locally:
http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/shows/cook-yourself-thin

FF,
Prism is a weight loss program founded on Christian principles, honesty, and discipline. The program incorporates daily readings, affirmations, weekly meetings, food diary, and food guidelines like calorie limits and food choices. The program is broken down into six week segments. The meetings are often held at a church.

What I loved best about the program were the readings. Here are some of the topics since I just so happen to have my binder in a drawer next to my computer: The Subtle Methods of Self-Sabotage; Co-Dependency: Reacting vs. Responding; The Foundation of Your Identity; The Positive Results of the Truth; The Problem of Immediate Gradification; Identifying the Level of Your Addiction.

Hummm....if I didn't know better, I'd think these topics came straight out of SAA or another affair book instead of Prism.

Goes to show you the similarities with addictions -- whether it be alcohol or drugs or sex or food or OP....

I first started Prism in 2003 when my only concern in life was losing weight. It would probably be of great benefit if I reread the Prism material to keep me on course diet wise and to boost my self-confidence damaged by the affair.

And I really got into the program when I first began it. The chart in my binder shows that in the first four months following Prism, I had lost 30 pounds with 36 being the most I was down during the program.

Finally took the time to sit & read this entire thread. I'm glad I did. I've got both kids gone for the weekend and until about an hour ago I had a real itch for some misbehavin'

Reading all this is inspiring, motivating, and thought provoking. One thing STBXH NEVER complained about was my appearance. But I was so insecure that it didn't matter. He'd (try to) build me up but I was wallowing. Anyway, in the past year, including while he was back home briefly, I really did "let myself go"! I was frumpy & excessively casual and generally unkept. Weird, because I swear to you all, in the last year, I've also been the happiest I've ever been with ME. Thought provoking indeed. I still teeter between avid-jogger and total couch potato. I still don't have real, true motivation.

But I can chime in on a few things. First, Chrysalis, did you buy your Lilash from the website? I found it cheaper on Amazon ($124) and cheaper yet on eBay ($109) but haven't decided yet if I'll splurge.

I'm such a sucker for marketing. I don't watch much TV but I always seem to catch infomercials and/or the shopping channels. So here's what I've got.

10-Minute Trainer, as mentioned before, though I haven't even tried all the videos yet!

For my hair, which is not problematic but I want what's best for it, I bought Wen. Yep, infomercial. While using it, I wasn't so convinced. But once it was gone & I refused to spend the money again, my hair looked & felt like crap. So I do plan to buy it again, and maybe alternate with another store-bought brand to stretch the dollars.

My nails have always grown really well but they got bad after I did tips once. I had good results with Qtica which goes on as a polish and Pro Strong which is a few different "treatments". It's fluoride-based and works WONDERS. QVC sells it. Go figure, I'm a horse person - have the hoof stuff for my horse, but buy the other stuff for me!

Another thing QVC sells that's always intrigued (but not yet hooked!) me is this facial exerciser, the Facial Flex. It's pretty convincing! For now I tell myself I'm still young enough that I don't need it but what a great way to avoid the surgeries & bags & sags & wrinkles, etc!

I've tried just about every diet there is but the truth is I just don't wanna get there yet. I say I do, but obviously I don't. I'm the heaviest I've ever been right now and apparently not bothered enough to do something. Anyway, the best one I did was the Fat Smash Diet. I lost 19 lbs & felt/looked GREAT. I may do it again sometime, if I feel like it.

Sorry so long. I like this idea. Keep up the good work, you ladies are doing great!!

I **think** I bought LiLash from the website. They runs sales from time to time and I think I caught one.

Just saw a commercial this morning for a prescription called Latisse! Will do a bit more research/comparison but was pretty excited my Dr. could potentially help with this. How cool!

Ok you curly frizz heads, I'm going to try a new salon relaxer and will report back later in the week with the results if I can get an appt early this week.

***please oh please oh please - fingers crossed***

When we lived in SoCal there was a professional Japanese Hair Straightening school near us who needed models to teach the process...I got a $700.00 treatment done for FREE, it was awesome!

It did not damage my hair at all, in fact it looked and felt healthier afterwards than before. I can't remember the name...I'll see if I can find it.

Just found it: Yuko is the name of the one I had done. I highly recommend it.

I am having a tough day. So today, I need to get cleaned up and pretty for me. Husband will have to enjoy it as a fringe benefit when I meet him for lunch. I am going to soak in the tub and put some really great smelling lotion on afterwards. I am going to take extra time on my hair and face. I am going to wear my skinny jeans since they now fit and my favorite top. I think I will even bring out the "good jewelry" and add some sparkle. I am just not feeling very sparkly today. Need to baby myself. It is a beautiful sunny day here. The rain has finally stopped so I might sit out in my backyard for some extra feel good. I will have plenty of sunblock on to protect my fair skin. Today we have plans to run by the river after work.

Are you getting ready to start that TOM?

I am so I kind of feel the same way. Add bloated and crampy to your description above, however.

I'm heading to the gym in a few minutes...that usually makes me feel better. Then I have a boring day of finishing packing up for our camping trip this weekend, and also continuing packing our house for our upcoming move. Oh, and gocery shopping.

Lame, boring day. BLECH.

Lame boring day are good! I just have a touch of trickle truth flu. I want to keep this thread positive so I won't whine anymore. I lost another pound. That makes 30 now. Had a Subway sandwich with hubby at lunch. Got complimented on my new jeans (smallest in my closet). I am going to need to go shopping soon! We are going to go for a practice run tonight by the river. We ran a 5k over the weekend and my time was 4 minutes faster. Today will be a good day to push a little harder. Hopefully that will help with my funky mood.

It must be a day for the humdrums....I was very good all day - ran, worked out with my trainer, ate well. Then I discovered XBF is no longer active on the online dating site on which we met, which means he has another "victim" on the line....and that was all she wrote. I'm not a drinker, but the wine is open and Dominoes is on the way. I have jury duty tomorrow....maybe I'll meet someone there. This trying to date post-divorce at the ripe old age of 48 is lousy.

You hang in there BB! You did good today. I got married at 45 so do not feel alone. I am 54 now. Today my H brought me to the gym and i worked out for an hour and then he picked me up. i want to do this three times a week if I can.

I love pizza. It is definitely a tough temptation. But, if you order the veggie thin crust medium, it is 215 calories per slice. Red wine is rich in anti-oxidants. Sounds like a fine dinner to me.

Have you thought about working out together? It is nice to spend the time together doing healthy things.

I got him a gym membership but he will not come with me. I wish he would!!!

I guess all you can do is keep inviting him and try to make it seem fun (and dress cute). My husband loves my new smaller workout clothes.

Today is my WO "day off". I worked out fairly hard yesterday and it DID help me feel better! The gym was packed, though, and I hate that! <note to self: it's VERY RUDE to hog three machines at one time trying to do circuit training in a crowded gym! Do people have no gym etiquette?!?!? I'm PMSing so I wanted to scream. I controlled myself, however.>

Today is running errands...lots and lots of errands...we're going camping this weeekend and I have to finish up for that as well as get a few other things...birthday presents and stuff. So I won't WO but I WILL look good.

Bumping this up. Was looking at my past goals when this thread started and I am pleased that I have lost more weight from when this started.

We get down on ourselves as these A destroy. This is a good reminder that we need to take care of ourselves.

There are some newbies that need to start thinking of their own needs and there are some Mbers that posted that might want to re-look at their previous posts.

Enjoy

I'm getting braces on the 19th!!! But not before I have to get 8 teeth pulled. Unfortunately my teeth were too bad for invisalign, I think. I've also been trying to dress better. My h loves high heels so I now have discovered the joys of shoe shopping!

Have to add though...shoe shopping can also be very frustrating when on a tight budget! I did recently become aware of the clearance section at DSW!!!! Ross also has decent prices on shoes.

wax everything from the eyebrows down. it's actually cheaper and lower maintenance than shaving. i haven't owned a razor in like a decade. it's not one of those immediately visible changes, your husband will just think you're a miracle of magical smoothness.

get lovely skin. laser, retin-a, tan-in-a-can, whatever it takes, and let it be your secret how you achieve it. shhhh.

daily: do one prettiness-enhancing thing only for your husband and that no one else will ever see. fancy panties or something.

ASK BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING TO YOUR HAIR. many of us have learned this the hard way. isn't that right, fellas?

Many good tips to review here.

If we do not feel good about ourselves, we will never thrive.

To live well is the best revenge (eye opener)

I have to agree. My wife is almost always smooth. I love it. I tell her all the time that I love how she looks, smells, and feels like a woman. She waxes eye brows but shaves everything else. I also have preferences on underware styles and colors. She does accommodate this quite well and it�s much appreciated.

I�m not so picky on her hair. I have certain styles that I like more than others but she�s not doing anything drastic like shaving it into a mohawk or shaving her head. She keeps it clean, looking nice, and smelling nice. Other than that, I�m not really picky. I am definitely not like some of the husbands that only want their wife to wear their hair one way.

And there�s a few things I do in return for my wife that she likes�I keep my eyebrows trimmed, nose hair not seen, keep my underarms shaved (yes, I have hairless pits), keep body hair very shortly trimmed or bare. Really other than top of my head, eyebrows, forearms, and legs, I�m pretty bare. So I guess she and I do spend a certain amount of time dedicated to making sure we look aesthetically pleasing to each other.

Easiest "diet" I ever did, and it has changed my entire eating and living situation. Took off the weight, and for four years I have KEPT it off. It is a permanent change.

This manner of eating has changed the WAY I eat, in terms of quantity. There are no real restrictions on what kind of foods, so you don't have to change what you eat.

Every Other Day Diet:

1. The first phase starts with looking at how much you eat - and I mean EXACTLY how much you eat - for at least one week. Don't focus on changing anything! Just closely examine how much you eat every day. Document it, and look at your plate - how full is that plate? How much food do you actually consume every day?

2. Phase two is the beginning of the diet. Day one is eating your "normal" amound of food. Look at that day's worth of food closely. Do not overeat, do not binge, don't go crazy. Just eat a normal amount of food.

The second day, you eat ONE-HALF the amount of food you ate on the first day. Half portions. You can eat whatever you want - just place ONE-HALF of the amount of food you put on your plate the day before. You cannot have seconds.

The third day, you eat normally.

Day four, HALF-Portion day.

Day five, normal day. Day six, Half-portion day.

Use this alternating day sequence for at least three weeks.



Phase two actually works to reduce your overall calorie intake by 25% over the course of any given week, because you are cutting down your calories just by dieting every other day. The bonus is that you are dieting ONE DAY ONLY - on the "half" days. You know you get a break on the "normal" days.

3. After your three weeks, you should see some changes in how you are seeing food portions. Your "normal" days are now reducing in portions, because those "half" days have become influential in how your mind views what a TRUE portion of food is. Your brain is beginning to view food portions as being smaller, and realizes that it can make it through a day on much less food than it thought. Move into the next phase!

4. New rules. Using your hand for the "normal" day portions - you are now reducing your portions on those days to where they should be. Your palm is the size of portion for meat servings. Your hand is the size for pasta, rice, or sides of veggies.

Palm size for desserts.

The other rule is: You are not allowed to eat ANYTHING out of a bag...you have to take a serving out of the bag, put it on a plate, and eat it from the plate. Put the bag AWAY.

Half-days are still half-days - OF THE DAY BEFORE!!!

The pounds will now drop off. But you will not miss the food. Your stomach is shrinking, and you will realize very quickly how portion size and your mind will work together to satisfy your cravings.

You CAN have dessert - just size it correctly. You can have what you want to eat - just size it correctly. You are not a slave to the food, but rather you control the food portion now, and the brain, after just a few weeks of work, realizes that the portions are the controlling issue.



I lost 56 pounds this way and went way under my goal weight. After a slight rebound, I am still at my goal weight, with a total weight loss and maintenance of a loss of 47 pounds - after nearly 5 years.

The best part is I do not diet at all. My portion size has literally changed, and I don't even WANT a lot of food anymore. It doesn't interest me.

I'd forgotten about this thread and am happy to see that I've lost 8 pounds since I lasted posted ~ and when you're only 5'2, 8 lbs is alot, LOL!

Good for you, MF! That is a ton for that height!

I thought I posted on this thread before on my favorite workout videos since I am a video fitness junkie... maybe it was lost in the crash?

I am a makeup junkie as well although I strive for the natural look. Keep me away from Sephora! Dangerous!

The thing I never ever skip in my beauty routine is
#1 good moisturizer (whole face) & concealer (under eyes)
#2 eyebrows (people have good hair days ~ I say good eyebrow day)
#3 curl lashes/mascara.

This is every morning, even if I am just staying home. I literally feel like a hag if I don't do it. It makes a HUGE difference!

Thanks Susie! I feel great which is funny because I didn't feel bad before.

I always at least put foundation and powder on, even if I'm only going to the gym or staying home. I also moisturize my face twice a day and am vigilant about putting sunscreen on my face and wearing a hat in the sun. My motto is PREVENTION!

We went waterskiing last week and since we were in and out of the water so much I didn't bother with make-up~ so I just refused to look in the mirror.

DH kept hugging me and saying "you are so cute" ~ good thing he likes the natural look, LOL!

I got my eyeliner tattooed. Not.for.wussies.

but it looks really good.

Since I HATE makeup, I do not know how I am going to improve. I have tried all the tricks out there,

I just hate putting it on, and I tend to rub it off if I am wearing it.

I would LOVE a facelift- I seem to "frown" all the time.

but- not with kid in college this fall.

BC

I can't wait till this baby is out so I can start working on the attractiveness! I used to take SUPER good care of shaving and plucking my brows and was really well groomed. Then DD came along...I stopped having time to keep up my eyebrows every day and shaving went from an every day thing to an every third day thing.

I plan on waxing when I'm done popping out this kid. And I might get hair extensions - my husband loves long hair and I can never grown mine long enough. I got a second ear piercing and he hated it.....so I might take that out but we'll see.

I think attractiveness is very important. I mean - imagine if you were married to a fat ugly slob who took no concern over his appearance. And it's so easy - ANY woman can look great with the proper grooming.

Still waiting, eh?

still waiting.....

Congratulations!! Boy, girl, or are you going to be surprised? Have names picked out?

i went 2 weeks past my due date with both my kids, so i empathize...i was a frickin BEHEMOTH!