Marriage Builders
Posted By: Stayawhile Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 12:43 PM
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair. Things went really well for several years until a significant turn of events turned me away from my spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 12:59 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair. Things went really well for several years until a significant turn of events turned me away from my spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.

I was OUTED three days ago by someone who I have never met who only sought to cause me pain and my wife pain by association.

No Sir, *YOU* caused your wife and children pain by having an affair. You did this to your wife and children. YOU caused this pain, not the kind, compassionate person who warned your wife that you were stabbing her in the back. If that person had not warned your wife, then she couldn't protect herself and her children from you, could she?

So, I would stop with the blame and man up here. Blaming others for your crime will not solve the problem.

Have you ended all contact with your OW? Is she married? If so, has her husband been notified of what you have done to him?

Quote
Obviously, my hope is that she will forgive me and accept me back as her husband. Barring that, I hope that I can at least regain some of the respect that I have lost due to the recent revelation.

It will take YEARS to regain respect and earn her forgiveness and it will take alot more than empty talk. It will take actions. Talk is cheap with a wayward. Forgiveness has to be EARNED. So don't think that some cheesy letter is going to cut it.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:08 PM
Stay, I would read this article about Just Compensation Can't We just Forgive and Forget? and then get the book Surviving an Affair.

What does your wife want to do? Does she want a divorce?

Will she come here and speak to us?
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:14 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair. Things went really well for several years until a significant turn of events turned me away from my spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.

I was OUTED three days ago by someone who I have never met who only sought to cause me pain and my wife pain by association.

Obviously, this second betrayal has broken my wife's heart and my impending departure for my parent's house (just across town) has devastated our children. All five of us were in tears at various times last night as we discussed my departure.

I sent my wife the following email this morning.

This is a hard letter to write. I have no excuse for what I have done to you and what I have done to our family. Like you said, I have become someone that you don't recognize, someone that I do not recognize or even want to recognize because that is not who I am. That is not who you need to support you as the mother of our boys and it is not who they need as there father.

I have no idea when (or how) I became so selfish. When I should have been thinking about us (the five of us) or us (you and me), I was obviously thinking about me and what I wanted. Even when I was talking to you on Sunday, I was thinking about me, attempting to justify my actions. You did nothing wrong, and I know that, and you know that.

I lost my moral compass. I don't know when I lost it or how I lost it, but it is clear that I did. I became a habitual liar and evolved into a crappy husband and not a very good father in the process. Those are the two most important roles I will ever have in my life, and I blew it twice. I understand that the depth of what I did to you are such that I may never have the opportunity to be any kind of husband to you again. That sucks, but that is what I did. However, I am going to get help, and I am going fix myself so that you can be proud of me again -- proud to have me as the father of our children and proud to have me as a friend.

Here is what I do know right now. I love you. I love our children. I will always love the four of you, and I understand why I can't be around right now. I admire you for so many reasons. Even in the midst of all of this, you thought of me when you told the boys that I was moving out. You told them alone out of concern for how it might affect me if we had told them together. I know how hard it was for me to talk to them after I got back to the house yesterday. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you.

I already left a voice mail this morning for Dr. Hedlund, asking him to call me back as soon as possible. I am going to call the rabbi later this morning to see when she has some time available for me to go talk with her.

I would like to go to services with you and the kids for the High Holidays; maybe I have been missing G_D in my life, I don't know. But I plan on being a regular attendee of services beyond the holidays in the hopes that this will help me to regain and retain my moral compass.


Obviously, my hope is that she will forgive me and accept me back as her husband. Barring that, I hope that I can at least regain some of the respect that I have lost due to the recent revelation.

By the way, I have cut off all contact with the OW. No email. No voice. No Text. NONE. I have even suggested changing my cell phone number so she won't have it.

I want to be worthy of my wife's love and trust again

I can never understand how it is that people suddenly want to 'get religion' when they're busted in an A. Do you understand how self-serving this sounds? "Look at me! I'm going to be a good boy and go to temple now that I've been a bad boy, so let's all just move on, shall we?" If that's truly want you want, for your own personal reasons, just shut up and do it. Don't lay it out there for your poor wife like some kind of sacrifice to get back into her good graces.

And btw, Stayawhile - you never 'lost your moral compass.' You're just a selfish person who went after what they wanted, with absolutely no thought to what it would do to everyone around you who trusted you. There's going to be a lot of debris and heartache to contend with in the wake of this devastation.
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:28 PM
You can always choose your actions....BUT you CAN NOT choose your consequences.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:29 PM
DITTO!
Posted By: GloveOil Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:39 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
...a significant turn of events turned me away from my spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.
I call b.s. on that. You wife is not a lesbian; she wants a man with balls. Yet you don't even have the minimal balls to admit your own culpability to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum? Instead, you blame it on a "turn of events"?

Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I was OUTED three days ago by someone who I have never met who only sought to cause me pain and my wife pain by association.
You must be a pretty remarkable guy, Stayawhile, to be able to discern motives so precisely. J'ever think that, just maybe, the "outer" was merely a person of integrity, who couldn't stand the thought of turning a blind eye to your deception and not doing anything about it? J'ever think that, just maybe, this "outer" has actually done you & your wife a big favor by at least putting you in a situation where you have to grapple with your lack of integrity ( a stone I don't cast lightly, by the way), and giving your wife a chance to see you for what you've been lately & to decide on the basis of accurate information whether this is all worth it?

Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I would like to go to services... maybe I have been missing G_D in my life, I don't know. But I plan on being a regular attendee of services beyond the holidays in the hopes that this will help me to regain and retain my moral compass.
Nope. Your little pocket-God -- the one you pull out of your pocket when it's convenient for you, like you pull out tic-tacs when your breath stinks -- is not big enough for the job. The real God will wait for you to come back to Him, but He is not going to be your pocket-God.

Originally Posted by Stayawhile
...Barring that, I hope that I can at least regain some of the respect that I have lost due to the recent revelation..
Well, the way to be respected, is to conduct yourself respectably. Earn it.

Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I want to be worthy of my wife's love and trust again.
What are you here for, Stayawhile? If you've been here before, you know where to look, you know what you need to do. You know the ball's in her court to decide on the future of your marriage, but you know you need to conduct yourself (belatedly) as if it all depends on you. You know you can't earn her forgiveness or trust, but you know you need to pull out all the stops to try to earn it anyway.

What does SHE need right now? What are you going to do about it? Actions, not words. Earn it.
Posted By: Stayawhile Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:39 PM
I
Posted By: Vibrissa Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:40 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair. Things went really well for several years until a significant turn of events turned me away from I selfishly CHOSE to turn from my marriage and destroymy spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.


You are NOT the victim of circumstance. You are experiencing the consequences of your selfishness, entitlement and abusive behavior.

Your wife is NOT safe with you.

Your desire to get her to stay with you is ALSO evidence of your selfishness, entitlement and abusive behavior.

If you loved her you would realize that you are absolutely HORRIBLE for her. You have terribly abused her not once, but TWICE. And that second time after despicably convincing her that despite past failings you were RECOVERED and WORTH having a relationship with.

She would be just like those battered wives that returned to her beater day after day. Because to stay with you would be to continue to accept your abuse.

Quote
Obviously, my hope is that she will forgive me and accept me back as her husband. Barring that, I hope that I can at least regain some of the respect that I have lost due to the recent revelation.

I want to be worthy of my wife's love and trust again

Why did respect, and love not matter when you were wallowing in the muck with your skank? Why were you not concerned with your worth then?

Why was it SOMEONE else's revelation that made all of this suddenly important?

You are a dangerous man. It will take YEARS to be 'worthy' of your wife's trust. You conned her into recovery once, you were HERE and knew what it would take, but you pulled the rug out from under her again - for your own selfish desires.

Until you GET that and put your WIFE and MARRIAGE first - you will NEVER be worthy of her.
Posted By: HerPapaBear Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:46 PM
Hi Stayawhile,

Welcome to MB!

I hope you will take the time to read the materials on this site and then go to the bookstore tab (upper left) and order a couple books.

I would recommend the books, "Surviving An Affair" and "Fall In Love, Stay In Love" as a start.

I could pick your email apart, but I won't.
I know you are struggling, but while you may wrestle and struggle with what you've chosen to do, your wife is devistated and your children are now in harms way. And I'm sure the toughest part for them is... you've run over them with this truck before.

Please order the books and read them ASAP!

Posted By: Stayawhile Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:47 PM
O
Posted By: GloveOil Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:47 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I did not find religion / nor do I want to find religion.
Then why write that b.s. that you wrote to your wife about going to services? For what? Because you think it makes you look better? Is that what it's all about?

As my father used to say, "You can rub all you want, but you can't shine a turd."

You may start looking better to your wife when you stop deceiving her just to try to make yourself look better. But you haven't stopped yet.
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:54 PM
Originally Posted by HerPapaBear
I would recommend the books, "Surviving An Affair" and "Fall In Love, Stay In Love" as a start.


Please...and while you are at it, purchase one for your wife to help her!
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 01:59 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
Ok, the significant turn of events is as follows:

I lost my job and livelihood. I have never been good at sharing my feelings with those that I am close to and I chose to stray from my marriage vows.

I lost a favorite aunt after a 14 month battle with cancer.

I developed Diabetic Ketoacidosis that put me in the Intensive Care Unit for three days.

And I lied. If given the choice between telling a simple lie and telling the harder truth, more times that not, I chose the simple way out.

My BS told me that she wants to see the man that she married again, more than anything. That was the root of the email that I posted for the forum to read.

We are three days past D day.


Again.....

Like I said in my last post, you can always choose your actions, but you can not choose your consequences.

You will have to live with those and time will only heal my friend, so I suggest you start reading all the material on this site, reading self help books, read the bible, start saying your prayers morning and at night, read those books that have been mentioned "His needs, Her needs" and "surviving and affair"

We know how much pain your wife is in, and the person who gave her that pain was YOU! All you can do is better yourself, and make some EP's so this does not happen again.
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:00 PM
I have a question...your thread says second time wayward spouse...does this mean you have cheated on her before and she found out?

What's the story?
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:09 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
Ok, the significant turn of events is as follows:

I lost my job and livelihood. I have never been good at sharing my feelings with those that I am close to and I chose to stray from my marriage vows.

I lost a favorite aunt after a 14 month battle with cancer.

I developed Diabetic Ketoacidosis that put me in the Intensive Care Unit for three days.

I hope that you are not using any of this as an excuse to cheat. You cheated for one reason and one reason only: YOU HAVE POOR BOUNDARIES. I would never bring any of this up again. EVER. It is very transparent blameshifting that only serves to make you look UNSAFE.

If life's problems can cause you to cheat in the past, then what would stop them from causing you to cheat in the future? Making excuses like this for your cheating only signals to your wife that YOU ARE NOT SAFE.

A word of advice: do not make excuses to your wife about your affair as you did above. This looks to be nothing more than typical pity pandering that we see from waywards.

And the bad thing about you is that this is your second time you have stabbed your wife and children in the back.

Does your wife have all the information about your ho? For example, has she verified herself that she is not married?
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:11 PM
If this is your second time cheating...then prepare to be served some divorce papers.
Posted By: Vibrissa Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:12 PM
Originally Posted by SapphireReturns
I have a question...your thread says second time wayward spouse...does this mean you have cheated on her before and she found out?

What's the story?


From his first post, Sapph:

Quote
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair.

He had an affair 7 years ago, came here and used MB to sucker his wife into forgiving him recover, then decided to have a second affair which was exposed 3 days ago.

Posted By: Wknghrd2LoveEasy Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:13 PM
I am always shocked when a Wayward posts here and is surprised that everyone calls them on their BS. Sir, you have had not one affair, but two. There is nothing you can say that will mitigate the horror of that. Your "significant" events did not in any way cause you to have an affair: your selfishness and your desire to do whatever you feel like did.

Stayawhile, here is the very hard truth I have learned since my H's affair. You are still foggy. You will be foggy for a long time. It is does not matter if you see it that way or not. You probably disagree with this assessment BECAUSE you are foggy. You would be best served to take my word for it and the word of all the wonderful posters here.

It is like any other addiction. You are going to take a long time to get it out of your system. Not just your addiction to the OW, but your MAJOR addiction to your self-centered ways.

Man up. Stop defending yourself. You haven't done anything that you should be defending. Realize that doing it your way has screwed things up big time. Start doing things the RIGHT way. Your WIFE'S way. The MB way. I would stay as far from traditional marriage counseling as you possibly can. It DOES not work and will harm your wife even more.

We'll see if you stick around here.

Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:15 PM
Originally Posted by Vibrissa
He had an affair 7 years ago, came here and used MB to sucker his wife into forgiving him recover, then decided to have a second affair which was exposed 3 days ago.


Then I am afraid we can't help him, the only thing I can think that will give him hope on saving his marriage is...

If she divorces him, then years down the road maybe 5 years she might see the change and remarry him.

Because wheels told me if I cheated on him one more time then it is OVER!! I would totally do the SAME THING!!

Sorry, good luck to ya.
Posted By: cobol_girl Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:16 PM
You know, I have an xh like you. He cheated twice (that I know of). The first time was devastating. The second time I was done. I left him and it was one of the best decisions I have made in life. My xh is still angry after seventeen years and he is still cheating on his second W. He is a mess. He is 47 and looks as though he is sixty. He always tells me how stupid he was for letting me go. You know what I hear when he says that "blah", "blah", "blah". You are going to loose your W for some skanky woman who could care less about M vows and it will serve you right.
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:20 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I did not find religion / nor do I want to find religion. I want to regain my moral compass and find the person that I used to be. I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror, and I want my wife (even if she becomes an ex-wife) to be able to look at me with some degree of respect as the father of our children.

So, what you're saying is that you played the 'religion card' so you'd sound remorseful to your wife, then, right? Why else did you start yapping about attending services, since you didn't/don't want to find religion?

Moral compass: you make this sound like an item that's lost way back in your closet, or down in the couch cushions. This has nothing to do with your moral compass, Stay. You've always had a sense of right and wrong (moral compass). You never lost that - you just chose to ignore it in order to get your short-term needs met, instead of working with your wife to make your M the best it could be. That probably seemed like too much work, yes?

By the way, now that I've let you have it smile welcome. Don't play with us - be straight and we'll try to help you see what you can salvage out of this tragedy. Be ready to be called out if you try to cushion your actions.
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:26 PM
Originally Posted by cobol_girl
You know, I have an xh like you. He cheated twice (that I know of). The first time was devastating. The second time I was done. I left him and it was one of the best decisions I have made in life. My xh is still angry after seventeen years and he is still cheating on his second W. He is a mess. He is 47 and looks as though he is sixty. He always tells me how stupid he was for letting me go. You know what I hear when he says that "blah", "blah", "blah". You are going to loose your W for some skanky woman who could care less about M vows and it will serve you right.

Yep. This could well be the case for you, Stay. My H ran this bus over me one time, and that's all I've got in me. If it were to happen again, self-preservation would cause me to run. I can never go through the hell of recovery again. I just don't have it in me. I don't think you can ever realize what you've done to your wife and kids. It's like trying to explain childbirth pain to a male. Can't be adequately done.
Posted By: Lookin4Serenity Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:28 PM
SaW,
How long has this new A been going on before you got exposed? I think it's an important question for you to fess up to. You said you were here 7 years ago and things were going well. When did things START with OW2? Did you become exceeding selfish before or after your "signicant turn of events". Be honest and fess up. I'm thinking you never took MB seriously in the first place and used it as a tool to manipulate BW. Now you're doing it again and throwing in the God card for good measure in addtion to using a bunch of "significant turn of events" excuses that most all of us go through at one point or another. Either get serious and get with the program or get out.
Posted By: maritalbliss Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:31 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I

Uh-huh. I didn't think he'd be able to handle reality. Recovery will be too much work for this wayward.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:46 PM
What's with the code in his edit comments? skeptical


DLKfasdioh
kuhiugh
uglkjh
Posted By: SapphireReturns Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:51 PM
Guess he was WAY more FOGGED up then we expected. Oh well...like we always say...

NEVER have any expectations for those who are wayward!

rotflmao
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 02:54 PM
Just in case ...
Klaatu barada nikto
Posted By: lousygolfer Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 03:00 PM
Originally Posted by Pepperband
What's with the code in his edit comments? skeptical


DLKfasdioh
kuhiugh
uglkjh

MeThinks he just typed "something" in the edit reason box. In no way shape or form was it as clever as chrisners reasons...
Posted By: saddestwife Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 03:35 PM
Stayawhile, I know EXACTLY how you feel about the responses to your initial post. I read it before anyone responded and thought "this guy has absolutely no idea what is about to hit him." I almost felt sorry for you.

And the reason I know is because the EXACT same thing happened to me.

Don't let it run you off. There's so much good information here, and the people really do want to help you, although I know it doesn't feel that way. Whether you reconcile or divorce, you will come through this a better human being if you let these people help you.

I read that your BW wants to see the man she married again as she is open to reconciliation? That's excellent! So I'll ask you the question people asked me for 65+ pages: What are you going to DO? Going to services is good for you, good for her and good for your kids.

What else you got?

What are you going to DO? Words are meaningless.

Come back and post. Yes, it's horrible and aggravating and infuriating and you'll get lots of serious headaches from the 2x4's (where is that icon? I want it!) and you currently think that these people just don't understand your special circumstances or they wouldn't react this way so it's pointless to continue here with such a hard hearted, "gratuitously cruel" (a direct quote from me on one of my early posts) people who are taking out their own anger at their own WS on you.

Post. Answer the questions. Take the hits. Be honest, as in don't say what you think MelodyLane wants to hear to get her off your back because that doesn't help.

Post.

Bit of a t/j here, but there is a serious downside to being a WW from Texas who has butted heads with Mel -- every single woman I see with big hair I think "is that her?" Keeps me in line.
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 04:02 PM
Stayawhile

should be Staytill2x4s

NotStay

Stayawhile =
Run and Hide uhuh


Has Stayawhile left the building cool
Posted By: saddestwife Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 06:37 PM
In his defense, it is a lot to take in. It feels very hostile at the time and WS's are skittish. We've been leading secret lives so we startle easily.

And when I say stuff like that, don't infer that I am saying BS's aren't skittish and don't have strong startle responses. I'm sure they do. But they aren't met at the forum door with 2x4's.

He showed up with a confession and a letter expecting a pat on the back, and wham! I wish now that I had posted "Welcome to MB, let me tell you what is about to happen so you can take a breath and brace yourself."

You can't assume that just because he's had A's he isn't sincere about wanting to return to his faith -- isn't redemption what faith is about in the end?

Stayawhile, I thought it was a nice letter, but it doesn't matter what I or any of the other posters think. It matters what your W thinks. You clearly gave the letter a lot of thought. You just need to do more thinking is all. These folks will help you with that.

Nice letter checked off the list.

What else you got?
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 06:45 PM
We're especially HARD of the WS who previously came to MB ... and STILL had yet another wayward experience.

Like, what's the point?
Posted By: hope3343 Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 06:46 PM
As a BS I was pounded by 2x4s within the third or fourth post. I was still removing the blood spots by the 2nd page.

I kept coming back, I thought everyone here was certifiable crazy.

Both BS and WS are made to be accountable. We know that when we get kicked here it is done with love and best of intentions.

I hope he comes back but it is his choice...like chosing the A.
Posted By: StrongerThanB4 Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 06:58 PM
Originally Posted by hope3343
As a BS I was pounded by 2x4s within the third or fourth post. I was still removing the blood spots by the 2nd page.

well said hope.... i know i have been pounced on a time or two... and even to the point of tears at times.

NO one is perfect both BS and WS alike. The BS get pounced on daily for NOT doing the right thing.... look at the list they are making about why BS don't expose.

And Pep is right kinda hard to digest when a WS who was supppposed to made amends didn't learn the first time around.

I want everyone who has a chance of having a healthy marriage gets it.
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 07:00 PM
Quote
Bit of a t/j here, but there is a serious downside to being a WW from Texas who has butted heads with Mel -- every single woman I see with big hair I think "is that her?" Keeps me in line.


rotflmao rotflmao

SW, there's actually a thread buried around here that has photos of alot of the members who still post.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 07:01 PM
Originally Posted by saddestwife
Stayawhile, I thought it was a nice letter, but it doesn't matter what I or any of the other posters think. It matters what your W thinks.

I can see how you might view this as a "nice" letter.

Maybe this conversation will help YOU, SW.

If my H wrote the following line to me after destroying my heart a SECOND TIME ...


Quote
Here is what I do know right now. I love you.

.... my cynicism could not be contained, I guarantee that.

A second betrayal is different.
A second betrayal becomes a character issue, until proven otherwise.
Like the second DUI .... that person is no longer a person who "made a mistake" .... that person is now DANGEROUS to everyone's safety.

Especially DANGEROUS if they say "I love you" ....
when they have NO freakin' idea how to behave in ways that do not rip apart the heart and soul of the person(s) they supposedly love.

I could NOT tolerate my husband telling me "ILY" after D day.
I told him:
"Do NOT say those words to me. You said them to OW.
Your words are counterfeit."


What possible good is "love" when a person is willing to destroy the object of that love?

I appreciate your coming to his defense, SW, I really do.
The dynamics of a second betrayal AFTER a MB education ... is beyond cruel.

The betrayed spouse after a second betrayal loses confidence that THEY can determine what is up, what is down, when something is a danger, and when something is safe.

"I love you" does NOTHING to make the BS feel safe.

If he were being honest, he would complete the thought like this:

"I love you, yet I am willing to betray you, despite loving you."

Empty words, those.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 07:07 PM
Originally Posted by saddestwife
Bit of a t/j here, but there is a serious downside to being a WW from Texas who has butted heads with Mel -- every single woman I see with big hair I think "is that her?" Keeps me in line.

Actually, her hair is pretty.
And, it's NOT all that BIG.
Posted By: Pepperband Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 07:11 PM
Originally Posted by Stayawhile
I posted here and visited here seven years ago amidst the wreckage that was generated by my first affair. Things went really well for several years until a significant turn of events turned me away from my spouse, the woman who loves me and into the arms of another.

And, if YOU are still reading ...

Here is MY advice to YOU.

The ONLY way I would advise your wife to even consider reconciliation with YOU is if YOU made a call to the Harleys and YOU started getting counseling from them.

The End
Posted By: armymama Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 07:17 PM
Stayawhile's post is my recurring nightmare. I think H's and my recovery is going well - far better than I expected as recently as six months ago. However, I was so blindsided by my H's affair, I doubt my ability to spot warning signs of waywardness. I think it would be nearly impossible to recover if this were to happen to me 7 years after knowing the wreakage of a first affair.
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 09:28 PM
Originally Posted by saddestwife
Bit of a t/j here, but there is a serious downside to being a WW from Texas who has butted heads with Mel -- every single woman I see with big hair I think "is that her?" Keeps me in line.

Because I am such a nice gal, I will post my picture so you can watch out for me.... laugh

MelodyLane in her Sunday best grin
Posted By: Just Learning Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 09:41 PM
Oh Mel!

What are we going to do with you? MrRollieEyes

JL
Posted By: princessmeggy Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 09:47 PM
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by saddestwife
Bit of a t/j here, but there is a serious downside to being a WW from Texas who has butted heads with Mel -- every single woman I see with big hair I think "is that her?" Keeps me in line.

Because I am such a nice gal, I will post my picture so you can watch out for me.... laugh

MelodyLane in her Sunday best grin


rotflmao rotflmao
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 09:48 PM
Originally Posted by Just Learning
Oh Mel!

What are we going to do with you? MrRollieEyes

JL

[Linked Image from cheesebuerger.de]
Posted By: Scotland Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 10:43 PM
Originally Posted by Just Learning
Oh Mel!

What are we going to do with you? MrRollieEyes

JL
Me? nothing. I like her just the way she is. laugh (Don't let on that I am sucking up to her m'k? Tehehe)
Posted By: MelodyLane Re: Second time wayward spouse ... - 08/31/10 11:09 PM
Originally Posted by Scotland
Me? nothing. I like her just the way she is. laugh )

hug
© Marriage BuildersĀ® Forums