Stayawhile, I thought it was a nice letter, but it doesn't matter what I or any of the other posters think. It matters what your W thinks.
I can see how you might view this as a "nice" letter.
Maybe this conversation will help YOU, SW.
If my H wrote the following line to me after destroying my heart a SECOND TIME ...
Here is what I do know right now. I love you.
.... my cynicism could not be contained, I guarantee that.
A second betrayal is different.
A second betrayal becomes a character issue, until proven otherwise.
Like the second DUI .... that person is no longer a person who "made a mistake" .... that person is now DANGEROUS to everyone's safety.
Especially DANGEROUS if they say "I love you" ....
when they have NO freakin' idea how to behave in ways that do not rip apart the heart and soul of the person(s) they supposedly love.
I could NOT tolerate my husband telling me "ILY" after D day.
I told him:
"Do NOT say those words to me. You said them to OW.
Your words are counterfeit."What possible good is "love" when a person is willing to destroy the object of that love?
I appreciate your coming to his defense, SW, I really do.
The dynamics of a second betrayal AFTER a MB education ... is beyond cruel.
The betrayed spouse after a second betrayal loses confidence that THEY can determine what is up, what is down, when something is a danger, and when something is safe.
"I love you" does NOTHING to make the BS feel safe.
If he were being honest, he would complete the thought like this:
"I love you, yet I am willing to betray you, despite loving you."Empty words, those.