This morning my wife told me how sorry she was for hurting me so badly. She did it in the heartfelt and understanding way that I have longed for since I first told her that I wanted to stay together (I wish I could remember the words she used exactly). She has apologized before but this was different. It came unprompted. It came at a point in which she was feeling really happy. In line with avoiding the enemies of good conversation I have not mentioned the A in months. She felt deep regret at what she had done to me, someone who is so important to her and has stood by her in the worst of times, someone who is giving her another chance.

A brief history to put this into perspective: she had a long term PA that 'ended' most of 10 years ago. When I finally discovered it she broke it off and we went on with our lives without really fixing things (she was resistant to my attempts, I didn't know about SAA). OM found her on Facebook earlier this year and the emotional end of the A started up again for 3 weeks before his wife found out. This was a very hellish 3 weeks and I had no idea why she was being so nasty to me. I finally found out myself a couple weeks later when the cell phone bill came.

We have two daughters (14 and 16) so I decided I would give it one more go. So, we started on MB stuff for a few weeks, floundered a bit, and then started the MB online program at the beginning of August.

The program is going really well and I believe that real progress is happening here. I am, of course, still on the road to personal recovery and we still have a lot of work to do together but I am very hopeful. Her apology this morning has really given me a boost.

I just thought I'd throw something positive out there for a change.

Congrats. I hope this shows a move in the right direction for you and your WW.

It isn't good to talk about the A. I think DrH says that after all of the details have been given, the couple shouldn't discuss it again. There of course are bound to be many triggers and these need to be discussed, but otherwise, the A is off limits. It isn't to be used as a weapon for later arguments. It will take time of course, but it sounds like you are on the right track.