Separated, H in Year+ A; What's Next??? - 10/06/10 06:26 PM
I moved over here from divorce busting.
1/09: I become unhappy w/H & M due to H's heavy work schedule & H's disinterest/refusal to ML
Spring 09: problem worsens, tell H I need sex. H & I ML 1.5 times from 1/09 - 9/09. H starts accusing me of having A (didn't).
6/09: start thinking about leaving H. Stop coming right home after work, spend as much time away from home as possible.
7/09: H starts affair (I think. Could be earlier)
Summer 09: withdraw more and more; trying to decide whether to stay or go
8/09: H talks about renewing our vows
9/09: H says he wants D (out of nowhere); get suspicious, check his phone, find incriminating texts & pix from co-worker OW. Believe H's lies
10/09 - 1/10: temporarily move in w/female friend; NC for 6 weeks
11/09: A goes from EA to PA
1/10 - 3/10: back in home w/H. H threatening, manipulative, bullying. Finally realize/believe H is having A.
2/10: expose A to BIL (only living relative on H's side). BIL doesn't believe, doesn't want to get involved
3/10: 5th anniversary; H & I have major battle, H physically attacks me for the only time; move to apt, do not give H address
4/10: H introduces OW as new g.f. to our mutual friends
3/10 - 6/10: Minimal contact w/H. A still going strong
5/10: Get the first paperwork from L the day before my birthday (which was on a weekend). I only asked H to not wreck my bday for me, so I'm pretty sure this was deliberate on H's part.
6/10: expose A to all mutual friends (95% married couples). MF's also don't want to get involved. H becomes increasingly hostile, violent, vicious. Last face to face interaction w/H, H threatens to kick my a$$. H takes me off health insurance, but doesn't tell me.
7/10: H files (appears to be heavy pressure from OW); I contest. Last contact w/H (text; H making up crazy accusations). H freaks about not knowing where I live - says the only way I can have my stuff is if movers bring it to me.
10/10: Still trying to get the rest of my property from the home. After that is done (trying for the last 3 months!!!), exposing A to OW's parents. OW is single.
Love H, unsure of whether or not I should continue to try to save M. Unsure if I am still in love w/H. H has been violent, vicious, spiteful since January. Appears that H does any and every thing that he thinks will be hurtful.
Won't allow me to see our dog. That is about the only thing he knows for sure will hurt me. Haven't seen her in almost 4 months. But to H, I don't give any sort of reaction. It kills me, but I am not going to reinforce his behaviour by letting him know.
Any help appreciated.
1/09: I become unhappy w/H & M due to H's heavy work schedule & H's disinterest/refusal to ML
Spring 09: problem worsens, tell H I need sex. H & I ML 1.5 times from 1/09 - 9/09. H starts accusing me of having A (didn't).
6/09: start thinking about leaving H. Stop coming right home after work, spend as much time away from home as possible.
7/09: H starts affair (I think. Could be earlier)
Summer 09: withdraw more and more; trying to decide whether to stay or go
8/09: H talks about renewing our vows
9/09: H says he wants D (out of nowhere); get suspicious, check his phone, find incriminating texts & pix from co-worker OW. Believe H's lies
10/09 - 1/10: temporarily move in w/female friend; NC for 6 weeks
11/09: A goes from EA to PA
1/10 - 3/10: back in home w/H. H threatening, manipulative, bullying. Finally realize/believe H is having A.
2/10: expose A to BIL (only living relative on H's side). BIL doesn't believe, doesn't want to get involved
3/10: 5th anniversary; H & I have major battle, H physically attacks me for the only time; move to apt, do not give H address
4/10: H introduces OW as new g.f. to our mutual friends
3/10 - 6/10: Minimal contact w/H. A still going strong
5/10: Get the first paperwork from L the day before my birthday (which was on a weekend). I only asked H to not wreck my bday for me, so I'm pretty sure this was deliberate on H's part.
6/10: expose A to all mutual friends (95% married couples). MF's also don't want to get involved. H becomes increasingly hostile, violent, vicious. Last face to face interaction w/H, H threatens to kick my a$$. H takes me off health insurance, but doesn't tell me.
7/10: H files (appears to be heavy pressure from OW); I contest. Last contact w/H (text; H making up crazy accusations). H freaks about not knowing where I live - says the only way I can have my stuff is if movers bring it to me.
10/10: Still trying to get the rest of my property from the home. After that is done (trying for the last 3 months!!!), exposing A to OW's parents. OW is single.
Love H, unsure of whether or not I should continue to try to save M. Unsure if I am still in love w/H. H has been violent, vicious, spiteful since January. Appears that H does any and every thing that he thinks will be hurtful.
Won't allow me to see our dog. That is about the only thing he knows for sure will hurt me. Haven't seen her in almost 4 months. But to H, I don't give any sort of reaction. It kills me, but I am not going to reinforce his behaviour by letting him know.
Any help appreciated.