I have an order of protection, H filed to have it removed. I was notified a few hours ago by the courts that our hearing is tomorrow at 1:30. Anyone know of a surefire way to keep this order active? In Plan B, and need this order to keep it this way without D.

I wish I had advice for you. I just wanted to let you know I read your post and I am praying for you. I hope someone posts something that will help you.
Take care....

Take all your documentation to court with you. This sounds like an ex-parte hearing. If this is true then you may not even see a judge. In my state of California ex-parte hearings normally are used for emergency only. This does not seem an emergency to me (my opinion only). Hopefully the judge will see that and not make a judgment.

Concerning the OP is there an actual court date for that?

If your WS is going to do this YOU SHOULD GET AN ATTORNEY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. An attorney will inform you of your rights.

[This is not legal advice! If you need advice please consult an attorney.]

the order of protection is already in force, it is not an ex-parte hearing. he is trying to quash the order, but i believe H filed for the hearing bc he thought the kids were on it (they are not). there is not enough evidence or even circumstance for an ex-parte, but there was enough for a judge to grant the OP originally. we will be seeing a judge tomorrow (we are a small county in AZ). H actually violated the order within 20 min of being served. I am a SAHM ad have been for nearly 5 years, I have no money for an attorny. if i told you what i do have as far as documentation, could you tell me what would be likely to happen in your courts? id appreciate it.

{{{LRK}}} Prayers from me, too.

@LRK -

Some things that you say bother me though.

In California the petitioner must have you served by a third party. I don't know about AZ. Does the court actually serve and serve by phone with less than 24 hours notice? It seems a little off to me. The way courts are clogged up with cases, why would they give your WS a fast track on the court docket?

Call the court house tomorrow morning and speak to the court bailiff to verify that there is an actual case on the docket.

google: "arizona superior court" go to your county web site.

Legal Assistance for Maricopa county

This link will give you a set of numbers to call.
"Abuse Counseling".

Take all your documents to court. I would also write a bullet list of the reasons for the OP for your reference for when your in front of the judge. If in front of the judge avoid he said she said statements (i said then he said then i said and then he said). Also do not interrupt your husband when he is speaking to a judge. When the judge allows you to speak, if you want to address something that your husband said, then do it then.

Remember to stay focused. MAINTAINING THE Order of Protection AS IS. NO CHANGE. All your statements to the judge should be focused on this. Not his affair or what he was doing yesterday.

what exactly is bothering you? here is how it went down: he threatened that if i ever left with the kids again he would make me pay and hurt me so bad i wouldnt even know it, then he would come after my family. a day or 2 later he said, we were through explictative explictative and i left home with the kids to go file for S or D, i wasnt sre which. but by the time i was out of the neighborhood i realized he would be home before me and then i would have done exactly what he said would cause him to come after me and my family. so i requested the OP, and was able to see a judge within 45 min (Pinal Co, AZ) the judge granted it and when i got my paperwork it was 2 minutes to 5pm. so i was handed H's copy and told to have sherrifs ofc serve him later, or if H was at home, one of the addresses on OP, that i was to immediately call the sherrifs ofc so he could be served. so, i got home and he was there so i drove by and called SO. they met me at a friends down the street and took the papers and served him. On monday H went to court to file for a hearing to have it quashed and being that the holidays are on us, tomorrow was the only date avail.

my list consists of the following
12/6 i left and he called the police reporting car stolen and kids gone. then verbally abused me repeatedly on the phone
12/7 more verbal abuse via message app until he reported my phone as lost/stolen with phone co. also destruction of my persona belongings, with threat to destroy more
12/8 filed a missing persons report and lied that he had had no contact with me since monday
---after returning home
12/12 actual threat of physical violence
12/15 served, 20 min later violated and went to jail
12/16 released and violated order again within an hour or so of being released.

Be very careful. Stay alert to your surroundings at all times.

If I were the judge, and I am not one, I would see that he violated right after being served so I would side with you.

Verbal abuse and threats of violence are seriuos to the law. Many times that is enough for ex-parte. I would try and turn this back on him in court.

Do you have someone who will stand by you in court? A lawyer is best but a friend will help. The more solid and mature the better.

You can also resort to a battered womans shelter like "House of Ruth" for advice. They would love to help before things got bad, but they know how things escalate, and maybe they have someone to stand with you, or another resoursce, like legal.

God Bless, praying for you

clark kent, what do you think about CP's post?

What bothered me is the less thann 24 hour notice. If you had beenhours. it just seemed to quick. If you are afraid of your WS I most definitely have someone with you. Also you can request an escort.

Also do not interact with WS. Nothing. Just from what you have said he might try to intimidate you. Or mentally hurt you. Keep yourself cool. And just tell the judge the truth.

thanks

Exactly. I know in Dallas if there is an OP, the court deputy will seat the person being protected in a separate witness room so that there is no chance encounter with the offender. Hopefully your WH won't get a chance to get to you.

A few questions:

Has your husband ever been physically violent with you?

What type of anger "issues" does he have?

When was the affair discovered? When was D-day?

How long did you do a Plan A?

Why did you need a RO to have a Plan B?

Before the RO, was your husband living at home?

no, H has not yet physcially attacked me. but i know enough from experiences that first comes verbal abuse, then threats and then physical violence.

H is a classic narcissist. Falls within every category of unhealthy narcissism. So he is frequently in fits of rage where he destroys my perosonal belongings. H also "blows up" and the smallest things. He verbally abused a gay neighbor, just because the guy looked at him. He told him "I hope you get AIDS." that is just wrong. that is the tip of the iceburf and it has gotten much worse in the past 2 years.

I suspected EA for a long time and approached him about his behavior and actions 10/29 or maybe 11/1. There has been no D

I did Plan A until 12/6

(In AZ an RO and OP are different) without the OP, he will hunt me down. He told me so. because of the kids. (he had a daughter taken away by the mother in the middle of the night and looked for her for 2 years, she is 15 now and lives with her mother)

and yes, he was at home before the OP

oh i should probably tell you i came home on 12/9 because he led me to believe he was ready to do what needed to be done in order to reconcile our marriage. and in true narcissist form, i am the one who messed things up by leaving instead of talking and all he did was flirt...

I would hesitate to make any type of diagnosis unless I was a licensed professional, but that being said, from your depiction of him, unprofessionally I would just classify your husband as a immature walking talking rectum with violent tendencies.

That being said, why would you WANT to stay with a man who has displayed this type of behavior towards you? I would have my attorney file the papers for divorce, with an interim arrangement for custody and visitation along with provisions for support.

But one thing I will say, that until a court of law specifies his visitation rights, you do not have the right to deny him access to his children. If you fear that he would hurt the children, then by all means, petition the court for a mental evaluation in order to arrange for supervised visitation; if not, then an arrangement can be made for an intermediary to accomplish the hand off when it is his time for visitation so that you never need to see him again.

i quite enjoyed your classification.

it was never my intention to keep him from the kids, in fact i have tried repeatedly to make arrangements for the kids to call him, but he believed they are on the OP, which they are not. I have made arrangements with his mom for christmas so he can see the kids. they well be going to her house at 1pm on christmas eve and i will pick them up on christmas day at noon. i do fear that they may take the kids, or that he may try to say i abandoned them. his mother is just as vicious as he is.

i believe that people have the ability to change if they are willing. i cannot give up hope when he hasnt had a chance to seek the help he needs to change. am i being naive?

This is not naive thinking. People can and do make changes for the better. What is naive, is to think that you can change another person. It's simply not possible. True change comes from within. The only one that can change your husband is your husband. Until then, you need to protect yourself and your kiddos and stay removed from this explosive situation.

What would also be naive, is if you ever believed his words without seeing a long history of action. The worse his actions, the longer the history of good actions would need to be, and your WH is pretty bad.

neak, YES! that is exactly why i didnt believe his charade after he was released from jail after violating the order. he told a mututal friend he'd "do anything" that he was "sad" and that he was angry with himself because "no one should ever make their spouse feel the way he did" but then later told the friend if i didnt lift the order that meant i wanted a D. he is EXTREMELY manipulative. and I am no longer blind.

That's why your bar needs to be high (the higher the better). Not just talk the talk, but walk the walk.

heading out in a minute, please pray.

Consider it done. Let us know how it goes.

Please Lord be with LRK today. AMEN!

He withdrew! and cried when he said that he hired a D attny. My resolve is strong, I will stand firm.