Marriage Builders
Posted By: aussiesback I think we made it - 10/12/11 06:40 PM
G'day all

Not sure if the people who used to talk to me here are even still around been so long.
Yeah been a long time since I have been here! Couldn't even remember my username or password! though my DD says thats due to age.

We are all up because I am still on the other place hours having trouble adjusting right now and the girls, wife, DD, future DIL, niece are all trying on dress, after dress, after dress, after dress for a party on Saturday. Unbelievable MrRollieEyes yes that dress does make your [censored] look fat EEK DID i SAY THAT ALOUD? doh2

You know you're old when you get on the bus with your wife and some young school girl around 16 or so, its hard to tell these days, promptly stands up and says "Here mate you can have this seat."
Just because my hairs gone a bit white and I have a few bruises over me, well I admit they look a lot yellowish on my arms and face but thats part of the deal. Yes of course I took the bloody seat!! laugh Resigned to the new image, not stupid. Anyway I got my wife to sit on my lap which got us a few hoots from the crowd telling her to look after her soldier. Beet red she got. I thought it was funny at least. stickout

My youngest son is just 6 ( he was a nice surprise from those days of mad making up blush ) and he just started talking to the girl who gave me the seat. Talk about the gift of the gab. I don't know why the wife rolled her eyes at me I was always the shy retiring type. whistle

How quickly the years have gone by. My daughter is married to a soldier, my son is an officer and engaged, my niece is getting engaged (formally) this Saturday AND I get to be the man her bloke gets the ok from - its a Irish family tradition. shocked

Her dad, one of my best mates is divorcing his wife, my wifes sister, to shack up with a marriage killing life sucking heap of slag and he's happily wallowing in the diseased excrement, and my niece told him to go you know where, he's not invited. She's even paid to have security on the doors to stop him. hurray

My lovely wife said go on love tell them how you feel then, well I have. My niece and DD have taken to MB quite a bit for marriage advice, got the books on it and all. They are thick as thieves and more like sisters than cousins, OMG they are the Veronicas, now I should worry. They need kids to tie them down if you ask me. Twins would be nice. clap well I don't have to have them so its ok. grin

So after all this time I just thought I should tell everyone just how much our marriage and our lives turned around after my wifes affair. I think without doubt it was the worst time in our lives, our kids lives, the whole family in fact. Yes worse in some ways than our sons death. Honestly it was. Never thought I would admit that. I guess all of you BS, men or women understand that one.

Very hard to honestly say our marriage is better or not than before the affair as in those last few months before the affair it was pretty crap time for us when our then youngest son died. Just tore us all apart and none of us did very well in handling it. Of course getting deployed at the time didn't help any. My wife really really hated me back then. You know with some hindsight I guess I was running away from the pain and loss of our son I should have been there for her and the other kids. I guess that there are some things we all run from one time or another. sigh

You would not believe the work she put into making our marriage work or maybe giving our marriage a new start is a better way to put it and getting me to work with her on it. I'm not exactly the easiest bloke in the world to get along with. Amazing the things we talk about now, how we say what we feel or how to approach an issue or problem. I hesitate to use a wuzzy word like gentle. So I won't Can you believe we hold hands like teenagers walking down the street ? Fun though especially all the strange looks we get. loveheart

Whenever we go out as a family my DD ends up telling us for cripes sake you two go get a room! Now theres an idea!!!!!! rotflmao
But thats ok as our kids can see, they went throught it as well, its not just some half arsed theory, that you can get through anything TOGETHER if you both want it hard enough to work at it. laugh

We are as happy as Larry these days, even if most of the few minor arguments these days still finds I'm in the wrong, usually about everything. I'm a bloke I'm used to it. That mostly happens during the post deployment periods like now. Yeah hard to get along with. My darling wife just said that was an understatement! MrRollieEyes

My wonderful passionate wife has the patience of Job. Well as she tells EVERYONE, with me she needs it. Ok yeah it true. She just never ever gave up on us, even when I was ready to chuck it in and walk. Well yeah I'm a stubborn [censored].

Did I say how much I love her and how proud I am of her? She is a keeper.

I tell you the best, the BEST, sight for me arriving back in OZ is seeing the light in my wifes eyes, I swear they glow as she sees me walking off the plane and starts yelling and screaming to let me know she's there. When your little boy hugs you starts crying saying Daddy and your wife is clinging to you with everything she has, the other kids are group hugging you, mate thats being HOME. dance2

Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/12/11 07:48 PM
hurray hurray hurray hurray hurray

AUSSIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me big bro down under, welcome home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Never a dull moment once you're around, and that was a mean trick you did at the church. You'd best sleep with one eye open while DD is around.
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/12/11 08:07 PM
HIYA NEAKSIS!!!

I would keep an eye out for DD but SIL & I are about 3/4 through a bottle of Irish. Wow did you know he drinks lots? mr eek a terrible terrible young man leading me into all sorts of bad things like booze and cards and poker machines.

I thought DD was so funny. Nice to know she still misses her daddy though. AW said she'll protect me. I wonder if I should be worried?

Hope good ol AJ is keeping well. He needs a big inch thick porthouse steak, rare, with mushrooms, red wine and side of chips, or is that me? well he can have one as well

maybe I should go sleep a bit too. Internal clock is out of whack

Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/12/11 08:16 PM
Be afraid. Be very afraid. rotflmao

Your update was sure timely. There are many good folks on here who will be encouraged to read it, even if they aren't from the prehistoric era like we are. (And Melody Lane is even older than that!)

AJ is keeping well, and we are keeping each other busy. grin He was sure happy when I told him you're back.

Well try not to have too much fun, especially if you've got that naughty SIL leading you into the paths of dissipation. Give AW a big hug from me, and tell her since your internal clock is out of whack, she needs to take a nap, too. Neak's orders!
Posted By: Pepperband Re: I think we made it - 10/12/11 08:19 PM
You're too funny.
rotflmao
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 01:43 AM
Mom will come on and tell you hello when she can. Dad's been defragging her computer for the first time since the French Revolution, and it's going a little slow. Eventually she'll make it back online, but for right now she's watching the little red and blue lines dancing around.
Posted By: Faithworker Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 02:28 AM
Congratulations on your newfound love and excitement for each other.
Posted By: thndrnltng Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 02:37 AM
I was NOT watching the little red and blue lines. Your father was watching them; I refuse. I'd rather watch paint dry! Aussie, my dear, DEAR sir! Your last couple of sentences brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad for how things are turning out for your family, even if your womenfolk DO fret, worry, and turn gray (what? you thought that hair color was REAL?! MrRollieEyes) when all of you guys are gone. And living such dull lives away from home, too! hugz

tl
Posted By: faithful follower Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 03:39 AM
AUSSIE!!! Boy have I missed you my friend! Give a big hug to little Mikey from his Auntie Faith.
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 03:41 AM
hey thanks all, great to be home I can tell you. Its also great to have a marriage that works that actually is growing, it sort of amazes me. Sort of sit back and pinch myself that its real, besides its fun to spend time together.

Did you know girls smell so much nicer than a load of blokes in stinky gear? Who'd a thought? dontknow

Talk about blast from the past, Mel and Pep!! Can't remember are you both from Texas? I met some guys from Texas, sort of gun crazy lock and load blokes, they told me it was to protect themselves from their Texas women!!

I think those gals from Texas are giving my DD ideas. I was watching video this morning of Mikey at school outings, miss seeing that in person, and DD doing her gigs. Oh gotta tell you about one of DD's gig at a pub. She was introducing a song and said "This is about a man who cheats on his wife" steps back then slides back up to the mic again and whispers "KILL HIM" all the women went YEAH!!!! Don't know if she scares the SIL but she scares me!! shocked rotflmao

Hey faithworker one thing I did learn was do not sweep this stuff under the carpet. No matter what your hubby said 10 years ago or not, affairs do affect the way you think act and consider. Maybe thats why your hubby's boundaries were so loose? Who knows? but one thing you do know, he made the decison as did you to cheat can't blame anyone else for that, you decide you carry the can. When my beautiful wife owned up to that, her decision, no matter what I had done or not done, then we began to recover and click again. It at least gave us a chance.

HI TL!! Good to see your hubby doing the little things for you to ensure your happiness. laugh I would help do the housework here but I am housework challenged.
You mean they dye their hair that colour, deliberately???????
Cripes never understand women.

well off to the medic, again. I think they want to stick needles into me. EEEK dramaqueen




Posted By: Nerlycrzy Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 03:53 AM
Welcome back Aussie!

So good to have you back home! When is it time to retire? Are you back home for good?
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 06:07 AM
AUNTY FAITH !! laugh

hey sis hope you are doing so fine these days. Wow some of the old gang - not old in years just experience!! rotflmao

Well medic ok'd me fit as a mallee bull. Blood pressure a bit high but then he said if it wasn't I'd be worried and asked how much blood I had in my alcohol level today rotflmao stickout but I still get to do a raft of tests anyways.

HIYA NC!!! hope you are doing well real well these days. I've got years to go yet. The other is up to the powers that be laugh Dear wife would like me to do anything other but I didn't join up to run away. The missus doesn't like it but she understands it. cool

and I have to admit, the adrenaline rush is so out of this world. I love it. Ok maybe that was a love buster? note to self shutup. crazy twoxfour <--- wifes attitude adjustment tool for opening my big trap.

toe tap wife wanting explanation

my response think faint I'm stupid?

did you know shes cute even when shes annoyed at me?

Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 02:33 PM
If you keep talking like that, she may decide that ~both~ your jobs should fall under POJA.

Didja see that NCWalker has dropped in for a visit, too?
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 05:36 PM
I just assumed NCW was NC was I right? crazy

went late night shopping, well I went and had Pad Thai while the girls shopped. Again. MrRollieEyes

Told the missus that she could get whatever she wanted within reason, you know a few $100 at the most. So as I was eating they came back to my table sat down, wife looked at me all smiles, "Found what I want love" she says, "haven't spent a cent yet". I smiled back. I then heard the words that brought me back to earth and almost ruined my night. mr eek Nooo

"I love you too, Darling. I am going to go online and order the tickets for the ballet soon as we get home!"

OH CRAP dramaqueen
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/13/11 06:56 PM
When you said NC, I thought you meant Nerly Crazy. Was I wrong? crazy

Nope, it's probably just you, since you're in the upside-down part of the world. Next thing I know, you'll be telling me it's night-time and almost summer for you.
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 02:52 AM
Wheres NCW these days? NCW drop in I'll go you a beer and some Irish chasers.

Neak it IS daytime and it IS nearly summer, why don't you have proper seasons like us??????? You always are roundabout.

Hey how funny do you think it will be if I tell my nieces bloke he's not good enough for her at the engagement party tomorrow night? rotflmao

AW and DD and future DIL and sister in law all went troppo rant2 , I swear women have no sense of humour sometimes think

Some of my and son in laws mates are coming over for a BBQ this arvo, Shanksie, Bluey, Tank, Jimmy, Joe, Figs, Digger, Shano, Andy, Rusty and a few others. Irish, red wine and beer are stocked, wonder if we need any food? oh well thats womens business. flirt

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 03:56 AM
Hey Aussie!!! My ears were burning and I realized it was you! So good to see you back.
weightlifter
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 04:21 AM
G'day to Dame Mel of Texas!!! (yep its a real title folks I think Mels a cubboard royalist rotflmao)

thanks for the welcome home as it really feels good to be back. Bit noisy though, all the traffic, the people, the missus laugh Hard to get used to again crazy

this thing kept going ding ding, ding ding, then I realised it was the pc email going off. MIL wants me to walk round and take her out in the wheelchair so she can talk to me. Mums a good old cheese.

She'll wanna nag me about drinking too much, smoking cigars, not looking after myself, not going to church and lots of other Irish mothering things. Such an old worrywort MrRollieEyes see now I know I am home rotflmao

Hope things are find and dandy in your neck of the woods for you and yours Mel.

Posted By: MelodyLane Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 04:39 AM
I guess you deserve a few good cigars and some beers! laugh Life is good down here in the great state of Texas. Thanks for asking. smile
Posted By: Lady_Clueless Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 06:44 PM
Hey, Aussie! It's been too long! Glad you're home and still in one piece!
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 06:54 PM
Quote
I swear women have no sense of humour sometimes

*I* thought it was funny.
Posted By: thndrnltng Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 07:21 PM
Originally Posted by Neak
Quote
I swear women have no sense of humour sometimes

*I* thought it was funny.

*I* thought you were a woman! It's what I was always TOLD...mr eek

tl
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/14/11 07:23 PM
Whatever you are, I am too. :p
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 12:34 AM
Originally Posted by Neak
even if they aren't from the prehistoric era like we are.

(primordial yell)

NEAK!! I resemble that remark! I'm trying very hard not to frown at you right now as I am developing a mark between my eybrows that may or may not resemble a wrinkle.

And YOU! YOU, YOU AUSSIE, YOU!!! You will set your butt down and keep your backside at home until such time as your womenfolk can't stand you anymore, or so help me, I'll put myself on an airplane and gorilla glue said hairy hinder to the front porch (where it belongs).

Z, the oldest is grown and on his own. He has a girlfriend he says is "the one," to which I sigh and say, "young love." B & L both were littles when all this started and now they are in high and middle schools, respectively. L has had the hardest time trusting ANYONE because of the turmoil that was inflicted upon him by the adultry...it really is a growth stunting experience for younglings to see. And my littles were itty bittys who only know their birth mother as someone who only makes time for them when she has nothing better to do. They know me as their mommy. I go to their school and talk to their teachers. I make their meals and nurse them when they are sick. Their art-masterpieces and 100s on spelling tests adorn MY fridge. I AM mom. HEAR ME ROAR (GWARP!) Okay. Hear me squawk.

And the Wookie. Well then. The broken hairball he was is gone...even on my worst triggering days, I cannot be angry at THIS person. He is eternally remorseful for what he's done, but he doesn't wallow. Instead, he is focused on now and future...and at this time in the grand scheme of things, that's exactly as it should be, imo.

All my love to my Brother and Sister in Oz, and all their younglings, and all THEIR younglings (an Auntie can wish for twins, too)

- Kimmy
Posted By: thndrnltng Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 12:39 AM
Originally Posted by Neak
Whatever you are, I am too. :p

So you're saying it's congenital, hereditary, and MY fault?faint In case you've forgotten biology, that 2nd X-chromosome came from your FATHER!

tl
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 12:41 AM
>sort of gun crazy lock and load blokes, they told me it was to protect themselves from their Texas women!!



Dern skippy.

I love that you love my sister from another mother (and father). I mean I get all mushy thinking about you two. Yours really is an awesome love story. Awesome.

And that, is as squishy I'm going to be tonight.
Posted By: EverAfter2010 Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 02:52 AM
Welcome back and just want to say your update was so heartfelt and touching. So just thrilled and filled with joy at your wonderful update.

as the Good Book says, "therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes you will stand..and after having done EVERYTHING..TO STAND!"

Like the little tree that withstands a hurricane, and is flexible in the massive winds, you two weathered the storm and came out the other side stronger! Amen!
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 04:06 AM
Found this funny little joke in my old emails:

Quote
How many dogs does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle ...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 08:15 AM
Australian Shepherd !!! wrong wrong wrong we don't have Shepards .!!! it Kelpie a KELPIE a cross bewteen a Dingo and Border Collie. Though some are more Dingo than Collie.

We have one a Black & Tan. Red Clouds are really great working dogs. I want one but she who must be obeyed says No. Never lets me have any fun. stickout

Hey KIMBERS!!! hug how your doing little sis. Life is fun when your living it. I think those wimmin folk want me to die in my bed as an old worn out bloke of 100. Can't think of anything worse! Excitement is the spice of life. laugh Of course it doesn't have to be THAT exciting all the time faint

Howdy Clueless. Hope you have been good and things are going well for you.

Peachy yes its great to REALLY be home in a lot of ways. Took a long time to get there in my head. Now days, wouldn't be dead for quids !!

OOPs gotta run have to get to the barracks by, oh about 5 mins ago and pick up the son in law. We are going to get to see some great muso's tonight, friends of my daughter, like Barnsey and some guys called eskimo joe or something like that and others. Shhhhh - She knows some WEIRD people is all I can say. And why does she have to dye her hair PURPLE ?????????????? or bright red with blonde streaky things in it ??????? And her dresses are waaaaay to short!!

Aunty Kimbers!! go talk to your neice!!!!!!! You too Neak and what about you TL. She should be wifery looking.

Oh well as long as they have beer. dance2 my cool dance moves better be going I'm late.





Posted By: SugarCane Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 11:54 AM
Your name used to be aussie2, and in my lurking days I read pages and pages of MB from 2004-6, including your story. You and the missus were MB heroes then and you are now. You need to keep posting here and show the newcomers why a recovered marriage is worth is, and how you get there.

I am so glad you came back. For one thing, I am in the UK (London) and I think of Aussies as allies on this forum. We need to stick together and keep these Americans in their place!
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 01:32 PM
You're just jealous. :p

DD does look like a wife - the sort of wife who knows Eskimo Joe!
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 08:54 PM
well the party was ok even with those wild band blokes there, with their wives partners and BABIES!!!! Wild? they were doting new dads if you ask me. About the only wild thing they did was change a nappy. And I never do those things. So us blokes drank beer and whiskey while the young things danced and talked and talked and yes talked more. MrRollieEyes

why do women ALWAYS have to go to the loo in groups? I mean whats up with that? The wife will never say and my DD just says "Oh dad" whats Oh dad? a reason thats all I'm asking for!!
think dontknow

I knew DD's dress was too short! well actually if you ask me all the dresses were too short for the girls of friends and family! Think 2 school rulers long and that was it if you were lucky. And those stupid high heels why would a womam ever want to do that to their feet?

And who said they could grow up? I didn't! There was this sophisticated looking young woman, looked right out of a magazine, eyeing me off for ages, firey blue eyes on a mission you know the look guys right? shocked and I was thinking as she started towards me "CRAP wheres the wife!! shes probably another antiwar spitter or something or one of my blokes dumped her or whatever." mr eek

Crikey there was enough leg to have a heart attack I swear. Where was AJ around when I needed protection then ?? well Neak where was he??? Probably driving a bloody truck and I was wishing I was right next to him I was. Where was the Wookie sis yes where???? There I was like a shag on a rock crazy

So she marches and I mean marches right up to me and says "Well if you are'nt going to come say hello I'll come to you Uncle Jack!!" Uncle who I was thinking, well actually I think my mind was blank as. I was pretty sure it had nothing to do with the whiskey so I quickly had another. Ok two. Then my BIL slaps me on the back says I see Precie has caught you at last. OMG it was one of my "little" nieces. faint

It was so much easier to be able to explain to my wife why a hardly dressed young woman was jumping up into my arms. But she was all fuzzy unkept hair and teen stuff and jeans and flannel shirts, you know cute and safe from blokes!! who said she could grow up? And THEN the wife had the gall to come up and say to her she looked beautiful!!! grumble What about saying you should cover all that. you are showing far too much, well of everything!!!

Cripes she talks enough though. I have begun to suspect its a family trait on the womens side, DD is a lot like her as well, as is my newly engaged niece. Who can explain that one?
I got far to much detail on boyfriends and stuff. If I wasn't drinking and had a shotgun one of them would be a target already.

See you Dads out there, its a perfectly reasonable request by me isn't it!! When I explained it all to Mum she just said I've been spending why too much time in strange places. Never gunna understand wimmim!! Nooo
Posted By: Scotland Re: I think we made it - 10/15/11 10:46 PM
Hiya Aussie. Nice to meet you.

Now, as to your question about why we women folk travel to the privy in pairs, it is a simply answer really. We need help. Yup, that's why. wink It's for protection really. No one approaches a couple of women the way they do one. See. Easy. And who are we gonna talk to while we are doing the deed? Maybe we do it because movies and TV shows tell us we are supposed to? I dunno, and I don't think any woman does either, it's just what we do.

And I agree, skirts are way too short, but whatcha gonna do? I am very glad I have boys though. And I think my nieces are glad they were born to my sis and SIL instead of me, because they might be wearing long skirts and baggy jeans in 40 degree summer days. grin
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/16/11 03:07 AM
Saw a poster on facebook about dads and dating.

"Shoot the first one, and word gets around."
Posted By: Dealan-de Re: I think we made it - 10/16/11 03:41 AM
Actually, the Wookie has it down to a science now. He invites the lad in for a "chat" then tells him that he's a cop and knows where to hide a body....

I know because I've heard him say it. Poor boys look at me for help. All I do is shrug and apologize.

(snort/shrug)

It's worked so far.
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/16/11 04:17 AM
Good Lord Sugarcane what a memory!!! I couldn't remember that. Aussie2. 2 what is the question ???

OH WELL no matter I'll remember this one until the next time laugh

No worries Sugarcane I do think those yanks need a bit of input from the other side of the pond. cool

Scotty nice to meet ya!! hurray
I knew it!! theres no real reason at all for the loo thing is there. And why does it happen ALL over the world? There are some things there are just no answers to.

Well I think that as long as my girls, my daughter, nieces and misc part time daughters, don't wear them then short dresses are ok grin

Oh and the nieces bloke she got engaged to, knew it was ok soon as I found out he was a footy player for a local team. And he drinks beer and whiskey.

I gave all my knowledge of women too over the evening. Neak are you laughing at me again?

When she says: "I've been thinking... "
Watch your front and rear and flanks and be prepared to withdraw rapidly;

When she says: "What are you thinking about ?"
For Gods sake make something up, the footy match or whatever I know you are probably thinking nothing but she will never believe you;

When she says: "Do you think she�s pretty?"
Mate you are busted. Make sure you say something like Mmmm well not really did you see the size of her [censored].

When she says: "Do you notice anything different about me?"
Yeah thats right get desperate because its soemthing you haven't noticed and the longer you delay the longer you are in the [censored] mate. Just admit you're stupid.

When she says: "Do you know what�s the date today?"
Holy hell, you have managed to forget a date that she considers to be important. Whether it was her birthday, or her anniversary or the date of your first date or the day you two first met, these are dates that remains permanently etched in your girl�s memory. Get an Iphone stupid with date alarms.

When she says: "We need to talk?"
Crap are you in deep [censored] mate. Its means you are wrong. Take notes she is giving you key info here. Of course if you have just said something really really dumb like �Shhh the game�s on� then you are dead meat.

See how could I be more helpful then that I ask you?



Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/16/11 04:36 AM
Neak and Kimbers both are great ideas if you ask me. rotflmao



Posted By: NCWalker Re: I think we made it - 10/17/11 01:25 AM
Hey Aussie,

Heard you gave me a shout-out.

I couldn't be better. I haven't been angry in I don't know how long. :-)

NCWalker. Known as NCW, not NC. But you have to say the "W" as "dub-ya"
Posted By: NCWalker Re: I think we made it - 10/17/11 01:26 AM
@Neak,

If I HAD daughters, I would tell them they could date my pall bearers. When they asked who THEY are I'd tell them they have to wait until I'm dead to find out.....
Posted By: NCWalker Re: I think we made it - 10/17/11 01:43 AM
Aussie I went back up and read the original post on this thread. One line stuck out - that the affair was worse than your sons death.

I felt the same way. Now don't interpret that as "NCW would rather have a son die than a wife cheat." That's not the case at all.

But DEALING with a death of a loved one vs. an affair? I think that's easier. With a death of a loved one, well, it's final. They're gone. There is a line of demarcation that one crosses that is out of one's control. At that point, one has to "just deal." And the memories and pictures of the loved one? Well they tend to be fond. They engender good feelings as one reminisces about the joys they added to your life. Especially if it was a "good" death - with honor, like a soldier.

But the WS? (And I am speaking about an unreconciled marriage). Well, they're NOT dead. And if kids are involved, you have to see them again and again and again. And even years later (It's been 6 for me) they still sometimes speak in fog. No finality to it. A wound that keeps getting prodded. Mine's negative choices are STILL impacting me in different ways.

Plus, without reconciliation, they intentionally inflict wounds on you that don't get healed. Death of a loved one carries no malice towards you.

It's like having to fight down bad feelings never ends. They do lessen, though. I am dreading things like the kids weddings, etc.

NCW
Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/17/11 08:53 PM
Yup, death is sad and heartbreaking, wrenching, but in a peaceful way. They are at rest, and life does eventually begin again. And those of us that are Christians look forward to a beautiful reunion in heaven.

A wayward is never at peace, never at rest, and they do their utmost to make sure you have no peace or rest, either. No hope of goodness here, or in the hereafter.

After that solemn post, I just have to rotflmao about the rest of what you said.
Posted By: aussiesback Re: I think we made it - 10/19/11 11:04 AM
NCW !!!

mate sorry I took so long to reply but I've been out and about with the wife and the kids, taking Mikey to the pictures Hey did you know they expect him to be in school instead of with me?? crikey those teachers are stupid, how can the little fella be in two places at once?

Glad you are not angry too much any more. The worst thing with that anger is thats its almost a helpless sort of anger. I mean what do you do, put your hands around a neck and try to get the fingers to meet in the middle? well you may FEEL like that but its not too helpful to you, let alone any of your kids and family.

Looking back, from where we are now, there is probably nothing we wouldn't give to have our little bloke back with us. Including our marriage to be honest. I mean wouldn't anyone? But reality is you can't ever do that. Its a final absolute ending. Eventually you come to terms with it, one way or another, and yes I do totally understand the context NCW.

I totally get how people want to make the non repentant WS suffer preferrably forever!! Trouble is, it takes a toll on YOU. You get a double dose of being a victim. Not for me.
I reckon you're victim until you decide you won't be any longer.

I probably would never have even engaged with my wife if it ended in divorce and totally unrepentant attitude, or a still foggy attitude, in any way if possible otherwise just yes or no type of thing. Guess thats harder with kids under 18. But I'd bloody well work at it.

Life is far too short to let a person like that stop you seeking and finding new love and happiness. But like we all know, walk in my shoes awhile mate and aee if its that easy!! Yep I can accept it's not that easy. Wouldn't it be great if it was?

Kids wedding? mate thats easy make it all about your kids!! Pretend shes one of those VERY strange distant sort of relatives who you mutter innocuous senseless meanlingless comments at, you know like, Mmmmmm yep, MMMnnnnnn nah and not even sure what she says! I do that ALL the time just ask AW!!!! laugh

And besides, don't you think that at the forefront of your kids thoughts about marriage would be " well I'm NOT going to make Mums miatake am I". And I bet you will get all the real marriage questions, kids are not stupid. They won't want someone who FAILED by choice in marriage, who chucked in the towel when it got hard, they will want Dad who stayed, who fought and tried to make it work. Just ask AW how hard it was to show our kids she had learned and stood up to be counted after the affair. Most kids realise it eventually.

ok enough of that.

Neak, its all true everything I said! Blokes just don't have a chance!! hurray A smart bloke just negotiates the terms of surrender stickout

And hopes his wife never reads what he just wrote!!!!!!!!!



Posted By: Neak Re: I think we made it - 10/20/11 03:46 AM
Quote
A smart bloke just negotiates the terms of surrender

Yep.

Quote
And hopes his wife never reads what he just wrote!!!!!!!!!

You are in SO MUCH TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted By: aussieswife Re: I think we made it - 10/20/11 01:45 PM
I KNEW I should not have left him alone with the PC and remote control. Should have got the 10 L tin of paint and given him a paint brush. think

And oh YES buster............ you are in so much trouble!!!

Soon as I rang and told him I was on the way home, he took DD shopping ......... how coincidental ...... its just gone 9.30pm and the shops have just closed toe tap

But on second thought.... 4 hours of shopping with his daughter at all the OP shops is probably almost enough punishment for a man. rotflmao

Idle hands (Aussies) are the devils tools!!! But I have a LIST...... 6 months long ..... and I supervise so well!

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