writer1 is back. Sigh... - 06/11/17 06:54 AM
Hi. I never thought I would be back here again. This is writer1. Had to create a new account since I couldn't figure out how to log in with my old one. It's been a few years, and I don't know how many old timers are still around. If anyone wants to look up my story, it's a doozy. Should be under my old user name, writer1. Anyway - long story short. Multiple affairs, both mine and my husband's. He started off our marriage with a 10-year affair with his ex-girlfriend that I found out about through trickle-truth for the better part of a decade. When he finally came completely clean, he cut off contact at that time and we were supposed to work on our marriage, which never really happened. Three years later, I had an affair and got pregnant with our OC, a beautiful little girl who is now 8. I broke off my affair with the OM and haven't had any contact with him in 8 years. My husband briefly started contacting his old girlfriend during my affair, but stopped after we decided to work on our marriage and raise my OC together.
The marriage has been rocky for some time now. We had a few "okay" years after my affair ended. I tried doing the MB program, but my husband didn't really like it, so we never went all-in. Marriage has really been struggling for the past couple of years - no sex, little to no affection, few needs being met. Tonight, my husband dropped another bombshell on me (I don't even know how many this makes). About two weeks ago, he called his ex-girlfriend out of the blue. They've spoken and emailed several times since then, and have even expressed their continued "feelings" for each other. I'm pretty sure nothing physical has happened, since she lives 4 hours away, but definitely emotional.
It seems my husband has never really gotten over this ex-girlfriend in all of our 24 years of marriage. The last time, when we decided to work on our marriage after I ended my affair, I swore I would never do this again and that I would move straight into divorce if my husband cheated again. I know that's what I need to do. Mentally, I know that. But my head is reeling right now and my heart is racing and I feel like I'm going to throw up and I have no idea what to do. You'd think I would be a pro at this by now, but I guess it's just something you never get used to.
I really can't formulate a coherent thought at the moment. I don't even know what questions to ask, what to do next. My mom died three years ago and I have no real family anymore, other than my four adult children. I've talked to my older daughter already, but I don't want to burden my kids with this. I literally have no one to talk to right now. Any advice, support, etc. would be so immensely appreciated.
The marriage has been rocky for some time now. We had a few "okay" years after my affair ended. I tried doing the MB program, but my husband didn't really like it, so we never went all-in. Marriage has really been struggling for the past couple of years - no sex, little to no affection, few needs being met. Tonight, my husband dropped another bombshell on me (I don't even know how many this makes). About two weeks ago, he called his ex-girlfriend out of the blue. They've spoken and emailed several times since then, and have even expressed their continued "feelings" for each other. I'm pretty sure nothing physical has happened, since she lives 4 hours away, but definitely emotional.
It seems my husband has never really gotten over this ex-girlfriend in all of our 24 years of marriage. The last time, when we decided to work on our marriage after I ended my affair, I swore I would never do this again and that I would move straight into divorce if my husband cheated again. I know that's what I need to do. Mentally, I know that. But my head is reeling right now and my heart is racing and I feel like I'm going to throw up and I have no idea what to do. You'd think I would be a pro at this by now, but I guess it's just something you never get used to.
I really can't formulate a coherent thought at the moment. I don't even know what questions to ask, what to do next. My mom died three years ago and I have no real family anymore, other than my four adult children. I've talked to my older daughter already, but I don't want to burden my kids with this. I literally have no one to talk to right now. Any advice, support, etc. would be so immensely appreciated.