WH medical issues, should I still expose? - 11/21/21 12:17 AM
I recently discovered my just-retired husband has been having an affair with his 14 years younger secretary. I went to stay with my sick mother out of state, and then had to clean out and sell her house after she died, and he started the affair while I was gone. I asked him if he was seeing someone but he lied to me and told me no. A few months ago he suggested we should start talking about a possible divorce. He's been trying very hard to keep the affair a secret, I think in an effort to obtain an amicable divorce from me (which I would never have gone along with anyway). About 2 weeks ago I was able to confront the 2 of them together in public, and he admitted the affair to me. But he is defiant about continuing to see her. I had another confrontation with him about it tonight, when I realized he was on his way to a date with her.
Now for the additional wrench that's been thrown into this mess, he has just been diagnosed with a serious medical issue which may require chemotherapy. His only sibling (who I'm close to and is the only person I've told about his affair) has also just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm torn about whether to wait to expose his affair until we have more information about his medical issues, because they may end up resulting in a forced separation between he and his affair partner. Also, he's leaving in a few days to spend 2 weeks with his sister prior to her breast cancer surgery.
I had a session with Dr Harley last week and we talked in generalities about exposure, but at the time I wasn't sure whether my husband was going to stop seeing his AP, but as of tonight I have his answer. When I confronted him again tonight he told me I was driving him away by doing so.
Now for the additional wrench that's been thrown into this mess, he has just been diagnosed with a serious medical issue which may require chemotherapy. His only sibling (who I'm close to and is the only person I've told about his affair) has also just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm torn about whether to wait to expose his affair until we have more information about his medical issues, because they may end up resulting in a forced separation between he and his affair partner. Also, he's leaving in a few days to spend 2 weeks with his sister prior to her breast cancer surgery.
I had a session with Dr Harley last week and we talked in generalities about exposure, but at the time I wasn't sure whether my husband was going to stop seeing his AP, but as of tonight I have his answer. When I confronted him again tonight he told me I was driving him away by doing so.