You can't make her want what you want. You can improve yourself and see if that attracts her. But honestly, she just sounds like she's enjoying the single life too much. If you focus on getting her back, she'll never feel like she made the right decision.
If you love someone, let them go...in this case, I would just back off for now and get on with your life and take care of yourself. Let her get it out of her system. Then reassess your chances later.
Some may disagree, though. Anyone else want to chime in?
Dan, the purpose of dating is to choose a suitable marriage partner. It is a job interview for marriage. It is very important to use intelligence and great discretion in choosing an appropriate partner with whom you will spend your life. This choice can determine the quality of the rest of your life. A bad choice will lead you to years of he11 and regret; an intelligent choice can lead to years of marital bliss and happiness.
This is a person you will spend your life with,; who will be the mother of your children. You are choosing a mother for your children.
So, it is critical that you use good judgment in selecting someone who has the traits that will faciliatate a happy marriage and a happy family.
It seems this woman already makes you very unhappy, so you have a glimpse of what a future with her would be like. You would be condemning yourself to many years of unhappiness. Does that seem like a wise move to you?
Some traits that would be important would be:
honesty
fidelity
respect
committment
respect for YOU
committment to your relationship
Your greatest happiness would come from choosing a person with what we call BUYER traits:
Buyer is willing to demonstrate an extraordinary sense of care by making permanent changes in his or her own behavior and lifestyle to make the romantic relationship mutually fulfilling. Solutions to problems are long-term solutions and must work well for both partners because the romantic relationship is viewed as exclusive and permanent. It's like a person who buys a house for life with a willingness to make repairs that accomodate changing needs, painting the walls, installing new carper, replacing the roof, and even doing some remodeling so that it can be comfortable and useful.
Your friend, however, falls into another category entirely:
Freeloader is unwilling to put much effort into the care of his or her partner in a romantic relationship. He or she does only what comes naturally and expects only what comes naturally. It's like a person who tries to live in a house without paying rent or doing anything to improve it unless the person is in the mood to do so.