Chronic and Mental Illness Bookshelf - Marriage Builders® Forums

Welcome to the Chronic Illness and Mental Illness Bookshelf
[This post is in progress and will be updated as I get new material.]

Disclaimer: This forum cannot diagnose illnesses nor can it replace the care of a qualified medical professional. The offsite links to not necessarily reflect Dr. Harley's opinions and may not work well in conjunction with the MB process.

Chronic and mental illnesses can put strain on even the best of marriages. The introduction of a chronic or mental illness does not *doom* your marriage. This thread is meant to give you a quick introduction to how other MBers are dealing with their and/or their spouse's illnesses and where you can go for support and to share experiences. You are not alone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

The Emotional Needs Forum and the Other Topics Forum are good places to start. To attract the attention of others dealing with the same thing try putting "chronic illness", "mental illness", or the name/acronym of the illness in the title. You may also want to read Dr. Harley's "what to do with an emotionally or physically disabled spouse", Letter #1 and Letter #2 or his "what to do with a depressed spouse".

When dealing with a chronic illness (especially an unexpected one) it is normal to experience a variety of emotions, even negative ones. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> It is normal to have bad days and feel overwhelmed or frustrated. This does not make you a bad person. You are human. Its easy to Love Bust when you are sick and/or under stress. We're here to help you cope and your marriage to thrive. (Adversity builds character after all. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )

Chronic and mental illness (especially untreated mental illness) can interfere with the application of MB principles such as POJA and fulfilling Emotional Needs. MB principles cannot 'fix' a chronic or mental illness but they can be useful in conjunction with other treatments to improve the quality of your marriage. There is hope.

If you are having difficulty figuring out where to start you might want to check out these threads.

Hypatia's "Chronic conditions / How they affect our relationships" is a general discussion of chronic illnesses and thier effects on marriages.

Carina's Depression Signs? and Kasey1's help...how do we treat depression are general discussions of depression. Hopelessly Devoted's thread My Doc thinks I am Bi-Polar is on Bipolar/Manic Depression.

Living-in-Limbo's "Anti-Depressants" and committedandlovingit's Opinions on Anti-D's, Jennifer32's Anti Depressant Advice are some of the many threads discussing anti-depressant medications. muddlingthru's "Alternative treatments for depression" explored alternative ways of treating depression. Faith1960's Finally! The truth about antidepressants explores the problems with antidepressants.

Nelly's Adult ADD Questions and LiontoLamb's AADD? are general threads about adult ADD/ADHD.

www's "A Sick Spouse" generated discussion on spousal responsibilities and expectations when a spouse falls ill unexpectedly. Anna2000's post asks My children, my grandchildren... genetic mental illnesses, what was I thinking???!!! and gets some good replies.

Zuzus_Petals post on How to spot a Narcissist....

Anna2000's Teen cutting, drugs and how to be a parent...

Liontolamb's Dealing with someone who is terminally ill.

Stable's Best / Worst things to say to someone who is depressed (long) is advice for friends.

Things to remember when your loved one has a mental/chronic illness (Helping someone who has a mood disorder - MDAO ) :

It's not your fault.</li>
You are not alone.</li>
Your emotions and reactions are normal.</li>
Take care of yourself.</li>
Find social support.</li>
Knowledge is power.</li>
Remember that life is a marathon not a sprint.</li>
Remember that you are human.</li>
Develop a crisis plan.</li>
Never lose hope.</li>

Chronic and Mental Illnesses MB Posters Are Dealing With

Fibromyalgia - Fibromyalgia FAQ

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) - Soul Cysters

Meniere's Disease - Menieres Org

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) - Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD): How to Recognize a Narcissist, The Female Narcissist, Malignant Self Love - Narcissism Re-Visited

Bipolar Disorder (aka Manic-Depression) - McMan's Bipolar FAQ (Part 1)

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - BPD Central, BPD Sanctuary

Depression - McMan's Depression FAQ (Part 1), Major (unipolar) Depression

Attention Deficit Disorder / Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADD/ADHD) -

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Gateway

Schizoaffective Disorder - Schizoaffective Disorder Fact Sheet

Gulf War Syndrome - Harold's Post

Other Resources:

Book - "Stop Walking on EggshellsTaking Your Life Back When Someone You Care about Has Borderline Personality Disorder" Authors: Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger.

Book - "Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide" Author: Kay Redfield Jamison

[ March 22, 2004, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: Stable aka Angel Face ]

Updated.

Bump for Sarah.

Poing!

Update

Updated on NPD. Thanks IsIt2Late.

Edited.

Added Nelly's Adult ADD thread link.

Updated.

Bump for all interested parties.

bump for long weekend

UPDATE! Whoohoo!

Updated with new thread link.

Generic bump.

Does anybody have some threads or links they would like me to add to the Bookshelf?

Update

Kovu read this.

bump for the holidays... Merry Christmas everyone!

After holiday bump

Updated with new link.

New threads

Update

Added link

New links

Thank you for the sources. My H has chronic depression, and ADD. Added to this mess, is his EA. The only time he has been happy in the past several years has been with OW.

You are welcome.

generic bump

Updated, edited, and bumped.

Generic Bump

generic bump

update ... new thread

bump

Given the thought-out, researched, and generally helpful nature of this thread, I believe it can be useful to the MB community at large. It is for this reason I have decided to feature this thread, removing the need for members to continually "bump" it.

Keep in mind that, though this is a featured thread, Marriage Builders, Inc. takes no responsibility for the contents of the thread, nor does MB endorse any of the content or methods described.

Thanks,
Nokomis

bump

Re-Bump

Stable,

Thanks for the helpful collection of links.

Just thought I'd let you know that the PTSD link is dead.

-AD

For the ADD/ADHD affected:

Edward Hallowell and John Raney have their newest book on the topic, Delivered From Distraction in print now. I just got an email from Dr. Hallowell about it. Is probably a 'must' for your current updates on the matter.