Marriage Builders
Posted By: Blended family girl need encouragement - 11/17/03 07:18 PM
I posted on emotional needs, but nobody responded, so I thought maybe I was in the wrong section. Here goes:
Well, usually I just post about my daughter and husband issues on blended family going wrong. All in all, nothing new to report there. Same old, same old.
This is about jobs. I had a job and another offer that I accepted on Friday. Well, the schedules conflicted so much that I had to actually decide this morning to not continue with the job I am currently in, and go with the other job. I was in orientation for the job I already had, but had not started actual work. The other job schedule and this schedule conflicted, and I had to make a decision fast on which one to go with. The job I had(or may still have hopefully), was not one with guaranteed hours.
The job offer was for a good job with a competitive salary and good benefits. With the mortgage and all, that job makes more since. So, this morning, I called the job I presently had and told them that I really needed to have guaranteed hours and was offered a job with that, but would have to take it now.
I also explained that I would be willing to keep the current job,if we could work out a flexible schedule to continue my orientation at a later date, since it is a PRN type position. This was on voice mail.
So, I call the manager who is hiring me for the new job, who says there is some kind of a glitch, and I may not be getting this job. He says to come in anyway in the morning and to "chill". I had not realized I was not "chilled", but perhaps he gets this idea, from me making him aware that I have had to basically give up the job I have to take this job, so I hope it works out. So 6:45 am, I am to report to work.
So, I am wondering how, if there is possibly no job, I can show up and start working. I called Human Resources to see if there was anything they needed from me, and they said I could not even come in without them running checks on me, which they had not done, although I was checked off as hired. They said they would call back.
I know I am neurotic, but this is pretty basic stuff.
What should I make of this? Most of all, I want someone to tell me this will be ok. I am so panicked!!!!(I had other job offers on top of these that I turned down because of these jobs, so I feel stupid now)
Posted By: Wished I WereHome Re: need encouragement - 11/17/03 08:51 PM
Can you have them put the job offer in writing ?
Posted By: Quipper Re: need encouragement - 11/17/03 10:00 PM
Dear Blended Family Girl,

That is my experience. Either there is no job offer for a month, or there are three good jobs in one week, to decide on.

One guy got hired as a nurse in a hospital, and he was supposed to go for a drug test, but he never received the E-mail to take with him, or indicating which lab to go to, and they had a rule that the drug test had to be taken within 48 hours of the date hired, or the person was not eligable to be hired. He did not get the job. I suggest you call both personnel and the department head, to make sure you are covering all bases. Take a book, and go sit in the Human Resources office, to see what they come up with.

PRN needs as needed, which depends on their business, which apparently they are not fully able to predict.

Just take your best shot. I took one job, and then was supposed to go for an interview on a better job, but I had already started the less good job. So I felt that I could not take time off the new job, to go interview for the better job. I had only been at the less good job for a couple days, so how could I call in sick, or take time off? I guess I could have said that I had scheduled a doctor's appointment, not realizing I was going to be working, but I could cancel a doctor's apointment with 24 hours notice.

Try to have confidence in your skills of getting a job, and don't worry too much about losing this job or that job. I have surprised people by resigning when I had no place lined up to go. If bosses start puttng me in positions to work aginst co-workers who have helped me out, then I feel it is time to move on. It has always worked out for me. I admit that sometimes I was worried that I did not see how it was going to work out. Sometimes people who had hurt me in the past, ended up helping get the next job. I just try to be a reasonable person.

Blessings,

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 children, still strugging

<small>[ November 17, 2003, 04:02 PM: Message edited by: Quipper ]</small>
Posted By: Blended family girl Re: need encouragement - 11/18/03 05:00 AM
Well, 6:45 in the morning will tell all. I think it is ok, because alot of people there know me and I am well thought of. The reason for taking the job, is that the people there are really great and I know the routine. It is better on my resume, and gives me a comfort zone.
BTW: I still am reading the survival science book and it really stands out when I am talking to people and maybe I can implement it with this situation too.
UPDATE: my mom is talking to me. Step-mom is too. Everyone seems to be willing to work on this. That is always good. Lets talk in blended family going wrong in next coupla days Quipper. Thanks so much!
Posted By: Blended family girl Re: need encouragement - 11/18/03 02:36 PM
Ok, that director sent me home, after insisting I was there at 6:45 am. He came in and said, oh they still need to run your background check in HR. Then, I can come back. He told staff, hopefully tomorrow. So I say to him,"so when that happens...." and before I could finish my sentence, he says "now listen, we worry about that and deal with it when it comes up" pretty rudely. This is after yesterday being told to "chill out" and just come on in.

So, I said "I'm sorry""really I was just trying to figure out how much time I will be up here, 8 or 12 hours, when I come back, but I will wait", and he just left it at that. Actually, the way he was acting, I was afraid to even try to clarify such as I did, because he was already cutting me off, with what he was saying.

Apparantly, questions are a no-no with him. He is mean. There is a pretty high demand in my field and I have never had a mean manager or director. (Usually they try to retain staff, by treating them well, and if staff makes mistakes, they "educate" them so they can do better.

Should I call someone else to go work for instead?
Posted By: Wished I WereHome Re: need encouragement - 11/18/03 03:48 PM
You said that you have turned down other offers, Are they still open positions and do you a a relationship with them to be able to revisit the offer.
"I was thinking about your offer and would like to discuss it more?"
Posted By: Blended family girl Re: need encouragement - 11/18/03 04:02 PM
This is a definite possibility. I actually had two calls on Friday, that at the time, did not take very seriously, although I did take the time to talk to them and really hear what they had to say(I enjoy talking on the phone anyhow <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ). I said, maybe after the 1st of the year would be a better time to seriously discuss this. They were very glad that I would talk to them after the 1st. They would probably be happy to hear from me sooner.
Posted By: Wished I WereHome Re: need encouragement - 11/19/03 06:11 AM
Good luck. Hopefully in the end you can get a job that you like. Sometimes you have to settle untill that comes along. And if this supervisor is so rude and nasty, are you sure you would want to work there anyway?
Posted By: Quipper Re: need encouragement - 11/19/03 09:20 PM
Dear Blended FamilyGirl,

The director may have been trying to cover up his mistake of not allowing time for HR to process your paper work. I personally don't always handle my mistakes with ideal grace. I recently was rude to a lady director who has reported me to my director, for a delay in response time. The mistake she reported me for was a delay partly from my subordinates, but as it happened her deparment was responsible for an hour and half of the delay, except that I was also personally jointly responsible for 1 hour of the delay. I have not yet apologised to her, but I intend to. She has smiled to me twice in the hall, so I guess it will be OK.

The value of the Science of Survival Book is to be able to understand where people are normally coming from, and where they are coming from when they are under stress, and only temporarily coming from antagonism, anger or resentement.

The most difficult people for me are the people who are always nice and sweet, and then hurtful behind my back, such as 1.1 Covert Hostility.

Blessings,

Quipper
Husband of 28 years, raised 2 challenging kids, still struggling
© Marriage BuildersĀ® Forums