the Terri Schiavo case - 03/22/05 04:38 PM
I was barely aware of this case until about a week ago, and then heard the words "remove her feeding tube" on the news as I passed through the living room. I had heard of her before, but before I had assumed she was on full life support, heart/lung machine, and I had assumed she was brain dead, and thought, in passing, how sad it was, and though I sympathized with her parents I thought it was a little selfish to force her to stay alive.
Then I heard the words "remove her feeding tube". And the entire situation, as I've watched more and read more, has been ripping my heart out. I don't know if she would be better off dying. I am appalled at the idea of allowing an invalid to slowly die of dehydration and starvation. If I were in her situation I *think* I would have prefered to be let go at the very beginning, when her heart stopped. I am not her though, and because she has no living will it is impossible to truly know what she wanted, and even if she DID have a living will saying she would rather die or live, even then it may not be true for her in her current state.
While I find if horrible to an extreme, it's not the slow death that is bothering me the most about this case. It's the fact that every time I turn on the news, or read about it, or discuss it with anyone, it is always brought up that her husband is her next of kin, and he is the one who ultimately has to decide her fate. At the same time, it's brought up that he has moved on with his life, is with another woman, has children with her. It's taken as a matter of course.
I will ignore the creepiness about this man. I will ignore the rumors about him. The thing that is just an enormous slap in the face is that he has been having an affair for years, he has children as a result of that affair, he has in every way but legally moved on with his life. I can empathize to a degree, there is, as far as I know, no chance she will ever be the person she was again. I would not want nor would I expect my husband to not try to find happiness if something happened to me. If he DID move on though, I would certainly expect him to have enough respect for me and our marriage to divorce me and leave life and death decisions to my family.
I just don't understand how it can work like this. I understand what the law says, but we are living in a time when marriage is disposable. I hate it, and it goes against everything on this website, but unfortunately it's true. You can be the most wonderful person on earth, and your spouse can go file for divorce for any reason. Getting a no fault divorce is simple, it's less painful then going to the dentist, and yet we have laws in the books that state your spouse is your next of kin, and who will get to decide your fate over your family. It's just so unbalanced.
A little over a year ago my husband had his affair. If something would have happened to me he would have been the one to decide my fate. I don't have a living will, so during that time, while in the fog and all that he would have been the one to decide if I lived or died.
Poor Terri <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Ugh the world just seems backwards.
Then I heard the words "remove her feeding tube". And the entire situation, as I've watched more and read more, has been ripping my heart out. I don't know if she would be better off dying. I am appalled at the idea of allowing an invalid to slowly die of dehydration and starvation. If I were in her situation I *think* I would have prefered to be let go at the very beginning, when her heart stopped. I am not her though, and because she has no living will it is impossible to truly know what she wanted, and even if she DID have a living will saying she would rather die or live, even then it may not be true for her in her current state.
While I find if horrible to an extreme, it's not the slow death that is bothering me the most about this case. It's the fact that every time I turn on the news, or read about it, or discuss it with anyone, it is always brought up that her husband is her next of kin, and he is the one who ultimately has to decide her fate. At the same time, it's brought up that he has moved on with his life, is with another woman, has children with her. It's taken as a matter of course.
I will ignore the creepiness about this man. I will ignore the rumors about him. The thing that is just an enormous slap in the face is that he has been having an affair for years, he has children as a result of that affair, he has in every way but legally moved on with his life. I can empathize to a degree, there is, as far as I know, no chance she will ever be the person she was again. I would not want nor would I expect my husband to not try to find happiness if something happened to me. If he DID move on though, I would certainly expect him to have enough respect for me and our marriage to divorce me and leave life and death decisions to my family.
I just don't understand how it can work like this. I understand what the law says, but we are living in a time when marriage is disposable. I hate it, and it goes against everything on this website, but unfortunately it's true. You can be the most wonderful person on earth, and your spouse can go file for divorce for any reason. Getting a no fault divorce is simple, it's less painful then going to the dentist, and yet we have laws in the books that state your spouse is your next of kin, and who will get to decide your fate over your family. It's just so unbalanced.
A little over a year ago my husband had his affair. If something would have happened to me he would have been the one to decide my fate. I don't have a living will, so during that time, while in the fog and all that he would have been the one to decide if I lived or died.
Poor Terri <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Ugh the world just seems backwards.