My husband and I have been married for 7 years. I have not been happy for probably 6 of those 7 but because of my beliefs decided that i would stick it out. I do believe that God is the God of miricals and that at any second one could happen. About a year ago I had a ONS with a stranger. I did this because i wanted to give my husband a reason to leave. He chose to stay. Prior to that happening we tried counseling and I have been in counseling for years on my own. After the ONS we went back to counseling and read through His needs her needs. It is an amazing book and we both got a lot of information from it. Here I am a year later and still my heart is not in it. I love my husbnad, but just not in the way a wife should. I have been praying that God will change my heart but it just doesnt seem to change. I kills me because I know I am hurting my husband in the process. This morning he told me that I really dont love him, because if I did I would want to have kids with him. I dont want kids right now and dont know if I ever will..... He knew that coming in..... I am just getting to my end and dont know what to do! Please help me!

lostintheworld

You sound alot like my X. Sorry, Just kidding.

My first impression is

"we went back to counseling and read through His needs her needs. It is an amazing book and we both got a lot of information from it"

Are BOTH of you using this information. I guess not because if you both are meeting eachothers EN's then you would both be crazy in love with eachother.

Don't just read the book. Use the book!

Lostintheworld,

What is the root of your unhappiness?

Do you love yourself? It sounds like you have lost the joy of life. Maybe discovering what is good about life will help you to discover what is good about being married to the man you chose for a life partner.

What attracted you originally? Why did you want to marry him?

There is hope. My prayer is that you will find the healing you seek.

I think your H missed the point of HNHN...

Lost,
I've been in your shoes for nearly 33 years until recently. God worked our miracle. See "My MR. ROMANCE makes our renewed marriage seem too good to be true" in the Romantic Experiences forum of the 'Ideas Section' below the 'Infidelity Section' and email me if you want.

I, too did not want kids so I share your pain there, too.

Ace