from Myschae:
Aphraeresis
Can you satisfy my curiosity about something, please?
Is there some requirement in SecHum that you agree with or follow each and every piece of it? And, what does it say if you don't?
I never thought non-theistic philosophies tended to work on an all or nothing basis... but I don't know much about it.
Mys
response from Aphaeresis:
myschae,
Not really. You just have to be in general agreement with it. The affirmations are not like commandments, they are more like a creed - a statement of what most Humanists believe in order to make them Humanist and not something else. There is no punishment or excommunication for not following the affirmations. It's just that if you don't, most other Humanists would say you aren't following Humanism but something else. It's a way to distinguish between Humanists and non-Humanists and also a way to explain to non-Humanists what Humanism is.
Myschae - This question of yours (
"Is there some requirement in SecHum that you agree with or follow each and every piece of it? And, what does it say if you don't?" ) really does speak to the heart of the issue and what I've been attempting to discuss with Aphaeresis. While I never got a direct response, you have, so I thank you for refocusing the discussion on this point.
The answer from Aphaeresis?
"Not really. You just have to be in general agreement with it." They are suggestions not commandments.
Both Myschae and Aphaeresis - This has been my "point" all along. Myschae has agreed with my contention while Aphaeresis has steadfastly denied my contention.
For review, what is that contention? It is that without Jesus Christ as Lord and the Triune God as the "final authority," "ultimate authority," whatever terms might want to be used to cede ALL power and authority to God regardless of what any human might think, what is left is Moral Relativism that each individual gets to determine for themselves. There is NO "absolute" morality and there is NO "absolute" definition of "good" or "bad" that applies to all people regardless of their own personal "inclinations, choices, general agreement or disagreement, society they live in, etc."
When the "final authority, supreme authority, God, again whatever term someone might choose as the 'descriptor'," is denied and removed from the "chessboard of life," the individual can make up their own "code, creed, rationalizations, justification, etc." because THEY themselves ARE the "final authority."
This is precisely what Wayward Spouses do all the time. It does not matter if the WS is a believer in Christ, God, any religion or no religion. It is ALL about "self." It is each individual's "individual sovereign right" to do whatever they want to do for whatever reason they choose to use as their "excuse" for their behavior.
When I told Aphaeresis that IF she identifies her "faith," "belief," whatever term she is comfortable with using WITH Secular Humanism she should submit her will to the tenets of Secular Humanism, that is precisely what I was talking about. "Appropriating" the name of something to "identify" yourself as a "true believer" has nothing whatsoever with one BEING a Secular Humanist, a Christian, etc.
The particular faith lays out the beliefs OF that faith. For people who want to "pick and choose" what parts they "like" and what parts they "don't like" is self-centered and selfish, NOT embracing of or submissive to the actual beliefs that DEFINE a particular faith.
What is substituted is the "religion of self."
So in the context of Aphaeresis' desire (or at least the desire of the moment) to remain married to her husband despite his shortcomings and despite her multiple affairs, is the issue of WHY should her husband a) believe her repentance is anything other than "relative," and b)what will keep her from either obeying or disobeying the beliefs of Secular Humanism when they are "in conflict" with what being married really entails?
She can say that she has made a choice and may well have made a choice FOR being married to her husband, but that's only true for today. She can "unchoose" anytime she wants to because she retains the "final authority" and is "sovereign" over everything in her life. She can, by "sovereign fiat," choose anything she wants and no one has any right to say she is wrong, because as "sovereign lord" she retains the "right and authority" to determine what is right and wrong independent of anyone else and their "sovereign right" in their life. Everyone else is reduced to the level of "servant," and servants may have the right to disagree with the sovereign in their own heads but they have no right to DO anything other than what the "sovereign" wants and decrees.
Here are the definitive tenets ("affirmations") of Secular Humanism that will forever be the "stumbling block" to recovery if they are not directly addressed, and perhaps even Secular Humanism as a "faith" abandoned and replaced with something that IS "marriage friendly." I say this with certainty because of the following admission and "position statement" that Aphaeresis made in her response:
" There is no punishment or excommunication for not following the affirmations."Aphaeresis has made it CLEAR that she personally does not see Secular Humanism as "authoritative" in her life. At best the principles of SecHum are just "relative" and can be "taken or left" at will, her own will, and the individual will of ALL Secular Humanism proponents or ""followers."
*
We cultivate the arts of negotiation and compromise as a means of resolving differences and achieving mutual understanding. There is no giving "100%" of "self" to the marriage. Things will be retained and "non-negotiable" and the "non-compromise" position of "forsaking ALL others until death do us part" is NOT on the table with this tenet. The obvious "mutual understanding of "differences" allow for "open marriages and adultery" as a "part of their concept of marriage."
*
We are concerned with securing justice and fairness in society and with eliminating discrimination and intolerance. Like the "intolerance" of ANYONE other than your spouse as way to "express your sexual preferences?"
*
We believe in the cultivation of moral excellence. WHO or WHAT
determines what is "morally excellent?" Morals will be arrived at by "compromise and negotiation?" This seems to be recipe for "try it (anything) and if you like it, it's morally good for you" and all you have to do is negotiate with, and potentially compromise with, someone else who has a "different" concept of "morally excellent" behavior. There is NO standard against which all behavior is "judged" morally good or bad, it's all "relative" and open to whatever I can "negotiate" that someone else will "put up with" by compromising some competing or opposing belief that THEY hold.
*
We respect the right to privacy. Mature adults should be allowed to fulfill their aspirations, to express their sexual preferences, to exercise reproductive freedom, to have access to comprehensive and informed health-care, and to die with dignity. Very nice sounding and eclectic, but the " Mature adults should be allowed to fulfill their aspirations, to express their sexual preferences" is very vague, general, and tolerant of someone who simply wants an excuse to DO whatever they feel like doing. Aspirations = wants and desires. Express their sexual preferences =
"if it feels good, do it" and it doesn't matter with whom. This tenet is most "enabling" of them all FOR infidelity and against monogamous marriage.
*
We believe in the common moral decencies: altruism, integrity, honesty, truthfulness, responsibility. Humanist ethics is amenable to critical, rational guidance. There are normative standards that we discover together. Moral principles are tested by their consequences. And all of these "common moral decencies" are tossed out the window anytime a Secular Humanist decides for themselves that they don't care to embrace that "tenet" of their faith. "I will apply them today, but they are NOT authoritative and I CAN change my mind anytime it suits ME. It "sounds nice," but it's really all just "relative."
*
We are skeptical of untested claims to knowledge, and we are open to novel ideas and seek new departures in our thinking. No doubt. And this "clause" is the ultimate "out clause" for belief in Secular Humanism. "We are open to novel ideas."
"Anything goes" would be an easier way to state this principle.
"Seek new departures in our thinking." Everything IS relative and there are NO "fixed and authoritative truths" that supercede any "new departure in our thinking."
Easy interpretation: "NOTHING you say to me or commit to me today has any lasting application to our marriage. There are NO "limits" other than personal satisfaction and changing "wants and needs" are mine to get satisfied any way that I choose."
Aphaeresis, if YOU were the one receiving this "doubletalk" as a reason to STAY married and forgive a spouse who had cheated on you in the pursuit of their own "freedom of sexual preferences," WHY would you believe that they NOW and FOREVER want to be yours exclusively, even if the marriage is in any way "unfulfilling" in some area, especially in the sexual area?
You are going to live a "marriage of compromise?" In some areas compromise will always be needed (i.e., you like sweet potatoes and he likes mashed potatoes, so you fix both for dinner). But when it comes to the COVENANT of marriage and it's EXCLUSIVITY to each other in all things, through "thick and thin," there is NO "compromise" with Fidelity. Adultery is NEVER "right" and it's not relative, nor is it open to "new departures in thinking."
"Just believe me, dear."
WHY?
What makes your statements "believable?"
Certainly not Secular Humanism, especially since you retain the right to pick and choose what principles apply to you and which don't, and retain the right to change your mind on even those you do "accept" today.
Aph, you and your husband CAN choose to sweep things under the rug, practice Conflict Avoidance, etc., but Adultery by it's nature calls into question everything that someone thinks they believe in. It SHOULD cause someone to seriously reflect on, and examine, his or her own "core beliefs." Consider this, if personal Standards and Boundaries are NOT fixed, but relative, then what ultimate good are they regardless of what they are or what someone chooses them to be for their self?
Aph, you have rejected Christianity, but rejecting Christianity and its beliefs is NOT a "justification" for you do whatever you want to do either.
While it is very true that ALL Christians are also sinners and DO violate the beliefs of Christianity that were given BY God, not by Man, there is a marked difference in, to rephrase your response to Myschae,
"It's a way to distinguish between Christians and non-Christians and also a way to explain to non-Christians what Christianity is."The "difference" is that the AUTHORITY is God, not Man himself or herself.
The "difference" is that they are Commandments from God TO Man, not "suggestions."
The "difference" is that Christians should exercise their God-given "Free Will" by choosing to submit that will to God's will whenever the two are "in conflict."
"Faithfulness" is first to God. If someone will not be faithful to God and His authority, there is little reason to believe that they will be faithful to another "mere" human, especially when they have already demonstrated one or more times that they can, and will, choose suggestions instead of commands, to "modify" what they promise today.
God HAS the inherent right to DEMAND faithfulness and obedience from Mankind because HE created Mankind. It was no accident of nature. HE created Mankind with a definite purpose. But God "went further" than simply to "command," He also paid the ultimate sacrifice so that Mankind COULD once again be able to (as existed pre-Fall) choose to submit their own will to His will. The point is that we (Christians) are no longer "our own." We were "bought and paid for" by God and, as "unnatural children," were adopted by God as His own children and the Bride of His Son. He then begins the process of teaching us (or unteaching us as the case may be) what it means to BE "surrendered" to God and to adopt HIS commandments no matter what we might think or be feeling at any given time. They are Commandments, not suggestions, regardless of what anyone "appropriating" the name "Christian" may want to do or believe that may be contrary to what God has said.
MANY people claim the title "Christian" but deny the "power of God" as the Sovereign Lord to TELL them what they can and cannot do. They refuse to submit themselves to God. It is fair to question the sincerity of such a person's belief because God has clearly stated what a Christian "should look like" who has actually accepted Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior. The "red herring" that is most often employed by those who don't want to submit their lives to God is along the lines of "doesn't the Bible tell you NOT to judge someone else?" That is an excuse, not a true expression of what the Bible DOES teach believers regarding the "judging of behaviors by those who claim to be Christians."
The "point" is that only God KNOWS the true heart of an individual. Humans do not have the capability of knowing for certain what is in someone else's heart and mind. All that humans can do is to observe the behaviors and compare what is seen to what the Bible clearly states are God's commands. We ARE "our brother's keeper" in that we need to confront, in love, behaviors that are contrary to the commands of God BECAUSE we are all "married" to Christ and "owned" by God, no longer "our own to do as we see fit."
Since they ARE commands, the Standard for behavior is GOD, not the individual.
IF someone professes to BE a Christian, then it is expected that they NOT willfully sin. IF they do sin, it is likewise expected that other believers will lovingly confront them on the need to submit their will to God's will and repent of their willfulness and "toss out" their own "choices," replacing them with God's authoritative "choice" in the matter.
"Thou shall not commit adultery." Period. No compromise, no discussion. Just humble acceptance and submission. No trying "something new," just surrender to God's authority.
God established the covenant of marriage AND the roles of husbands and wives. We choose to obey or to be disobedient to Him, but the "Final Authority" resides with God, not Man or Woman. "Moral license" is not given to humans, though those who do not believe in God will ALWAYS choose to whatever they want to do on the premise that "if it feels good, do it" makes their behavior "right." The same "trap" holds true for believers who DO NOT WANT TO relinquish their "free will" to God's will and want to abuse their "freedom in Christ" to do whatever they want to do regardless of God's clear commandments and teaching.
As Jesus put it, " And He answered and said to them, "Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning, 'made them male and female,' and said, 'for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? So then,
they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."
They said to Him, "Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?"
He said to them, "Moses, because of
the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives,
but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." (Matthew 19:4-8 NKJV, emphasis added)