I'm having trouble coping with the different way my body responds to sexual stimulus since I've had my first child. What used to sexually stimulate me before pregnancy no longer does the trick, and I'm finding it stressful to keep the passion going, when it seems that nothing results in my satisfaction, and only my husband gets fullfilment. He also is finding this a difficult time, since I no longer respond sexually to him (he fells rejected). We need help!

Just some ideas; you're probably really tired now, and it takes some time to go from being on-call, always-alert "Mommy" to feeling sexual. Are you giving yourself enough time for "just you" that you are able to detach from Mommy-role and be just a girl w/ a sexual appetite? Also, sometimes it's about what's going on in your relationship outside of the bedroom that's changing what's happening in the bedroom. I'm no expert on how to keep boredom from creeping in, but I know that I enjoy it the most when there's an atmosphere of trust and affection between us before we get sexual. Whatever, don't freak out about it, b/c that can make it worse. It's very normal for libido to be affected by the entry of a child into the family.

Dear Sindeefer,<P>What you are experiencing is normal. The feelings you had before will return in time, just don't be too anxious about it. Assure your H that it <B>truly</B> is no reflection on him or his abilities to satisfy you. Ask him to be patient, too. <P>Relax, concentrate on pleasing him for now. The fact that your libido is not as high is no cause for alarm. You don't mention how old you are or how old your child is, but take it from a 41 y.o. mother of four, as time goes by, it <B>will</B> get better . . . and better . . . and BETTER!! <P>Take the pressure off yourself and ask your H to thoughtfully do the same.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn<P>Marriage is not built on convenience, success, health, or prosperity. It is a covenant between two people who are loved by God. -Dekruyter

I had a baby 4 mo ago, and I also had problems similar to yours. On examination of my feelings, I learned that my insecurity about stretch marks/cellulite/etc. brought about by my pregnancy decreased my desire for sex. If this is a problem for you, once you learn to accept the changes in your appearance your desire will return.