I think i must be going crazy! Im obsessed with
my husbands ex-lover. I know I should just let it go. I just can't. When I first found out(4 months ago) I wanted to know EVERYTHING about her. Now I wish I would have just let myself believe that she was fat, ugly and unatractive.

She is everything I'm not! I can't compete with her! Blonde,thin,cute, and adorable. This is how my WH discribed her to me!! uggggggg... Im falling deeper and deeper, into depression. He still misses her and thinks of her, although he has had no contact for over four months, I don't believe he will EVER erase her from his memory.( I can't either!)

Help please! thanks

My WH also had the A. She was about 12 years younger than me and blond and cute. Listen, don't worry about this. Yes, looks can be a big EN, but he married you. Make yourself look the best you can. Dress nicely, groom, makeup (but not too much) and get into good shape. This will make you feel better about yourself, and you and your husband will notice and others will take notice. That is what happened to us. She may have the looks, but what about everything else? Keep your head up. Just be the best person you can be. That is all that matters. Try not to think about her. I put the OW out of my mind, and just did for me. Now get shopping!! It will make you feel great. And don't forget about nice underware!! I love Victoria's Secret. Trust me, men look and your husband will notice. Get a friend or beauty person to help. I got a new hair style and it made me feel great right away while I lost close to 50 lbs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

You might want to try moving your post to the infidelity boards. You'd probably get more responses.

Maybe physical apperance matters to some. It definatly did not with my WS...I did get honor of meeting the ow (it)and for the life of me cannot figure out what the heck it was that attracted him to her...obviously was not apperance.

Knowing that, I should feel better.It only p!$$es me off, that he would choose to betray me with the human equivelent of a monkey (thats being kind). It only makes it worse, not trying to sound conceited, but gosh, he could have replaced me with a human at least, If apperance was everything...he would not have had an a. But I have to laugh at his choice...not much else to laugh about.

So my question is what is wrong with me? I know I have character defects,geez, we all do. Just trying to do the best I can to work on those. Insecurity is my worst (obviously), even more so now.....

Chin up and Bless to all...

<small>[ July 27, 2002, 04:23 PM: Message edited by: Short1Smile ]</small>