Hi, not sure if anyone posts or reads anything here, but thought this was the best place to ask the question. My wife has been living with the OM for 5 weeks now; this is the first week she's had the kids with her. We talked to our counselor beforehand, and my wife told him that she was planning on sleeping with the kids in the bed while the OM slept on the couch. I was ok with that arrangement too.<P>Well, she told me Sunday that the kids slept on the couch and her and the OM slept in the bedroom on Saturday night. The reason being is that the couch is too small and he couldn't sleep there. I was very angry and told her so; she said she asked the kids if it bothered them and they said no.<P>Our daughters are 8 and 10 years old and thinks Mom is staying with a male roommate at this point. They don't understand what 'sleeping together' is, and I felt it was unfair that she asked them that question when they don't comprehend the situation.<P>I called the counselor today and asked his opinion on it; he told me to keep in mind whatever is best for the children. I asked him if that was best for the children, but he really didn't give me a clear answer. I feel like I'm being questioned by my W and counselor for questioning her decisions and whether or not they are best for the children.<P>Can someone please offer some advice or insight?<P>thanks,<BR>theo<P>

What’s best for the children is for them to NOT be exposed at all to the om while you are still married. This doesn’t look like a possibility in your circumstances (ask your wife). If they have to be with wife/om, then it should NEVER be for overnites, especially if they sleep in the same room.<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>They don't understand what 'sleeping together' is<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>?<P>They are human. Of course they know what it is. They don’t know exactly what goes on, but they know generally.<P>If they don’t know why you two have split up (an affair) then you both should sit down & tell them. If your wife doesn’t want to do it, then do it yourself. DO NOT BE VINDICTIVE against your wife! Just tell them mom fell in love with someone else & that is why she moved in with him. Don’t tell them she is “bad” but what she is doing is wrong. If you cannot be honest with your kids about this, then how can they trust you about anything. You need to be the stabilizing force in their life right now.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A><p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited May 02, 2000).]