This is so frustrating!
Here is a run down on some back history
1] daughter has a bf
2]ow daughter transfers to my daughters school
3]ow daughter starts spending time with d's bf
4]brings pics to show my d
5]d finds out there has been more than a friendship there (sex)
6]d is hurt to no end
7]d doesnt know for sure ws had a only that he was spending alot of time with her,Im sure deep down she does know but doesnt want to admit and who can blame her
8]there is a general going back and forth from my d to ow d with this boy
9]I am very angery due to ow lands another blow to my family
10]bf is upset that i know so much and encourages d to not tell me so much, we have always shared things,even if I didnt like how she said it I wanted her to be able to come to me and say it
11]the lying starts
12]not knowing where my d is starts
13]find out she is sneaking around meetting him places in hopes he will get back with her she knows how I feel on this
14]bf tells her is partly because she wasnt "coming across so he went where he could get it"UGH
15]this b is using mine for money and hopes to be her first but in the mean time plans to be with others (my opinion)
I didnt want to tell her she couldnt see this person because then I knew she would want to all the more ya know? But then the lying came in and ws put his foot down, told her he wouldnt watch her hurt and ruin her life. Her response "mom you forgave dad why not him?"
Problem is I know many other things, this person is not good for her and could get her in trouble.
In general she is one mad little girl and doesnt understand why ws can do what he has done but since she 'loves' this person we wont give him a chance.And is fighting us the whole way. After blow up last night we decided mroe counseling for her we are going to go to very good youth leader at the churcg we are attending who is experienced in counseling. She has agreed..
Now I question what have I taught her by hanging on ?

I don't know and I ask myself that question often. How old is your d? Sometimes you have to do thinks children disagree with in order to protect them and sometimes you need to let them learn on their own.

What does your h say in all of this?

I think I would forbid our d from being around this individual who has no respect for her and possibly get a restraining order against this boy and ow's d.

If there had been no A, what would you do for your d if the same thing with the bf was going on with another girl? Try to think of it that way and see what you have a peace about doing. Tough love is doing things others don't like but we do it because we love them.