D-day was 9 months ago.We have been married 19years.We continue stuggle with R. NC has never really stuck with my WS. I have recently found out about continued contact with OP.

Looking for feedback, .. Last summer when I discovered my wifes affair she had secured an attorney, she told me on a Friday in July she had filed for divorce(she later stopped the paperwork on the following Monday). I believed her that she had filed,in the aftermath I confided in my adult daughter that my wife was having an affair. My daughter is from a previous marriage who my current wife helped to raise( my daughter was 12 years old when I married my current wife 19 years ago) Anyway,my daughter took it upon herself to send OM an email telling him to leave our family alone....My wife was furious that she got involved and has since stopped all contact with her. Additionally my wife dislikes when I speak with my daughter, she even balks when I wish to see my two grandchildren. My wife actually blames both my daughter and me for our failing marriage, I find it both absurd and hurtful. My wife complains that she was never my priority and my daughter was. How can a spouse ask their partner to choose between them or a child.......

Blackskys,

It is best if you stick to one thread on one forum, it will be less confusing to people. Try reposting this on one of your existing threads - the one on the SaA forum is probably best.

If you want people to input more on your thread, keep posting to it, which will effectively bump it to the top of the list.

I don't visit here much anymore. I have moved on. I was cheated on for so long and he only saw his side.

In my humble experience it is never the cheater's fault. THey were aalways driven to do it or they deserved it becasue we failed them...

I am long since divorces and he tells me weekly how he misses me, she is unreasonable, manipulative, jealous... I am sure a few years ago he was living with me telling the OW how unreasonable I was.

Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you have to take care of yourself and do the right thing. If you do what is right for you and your children, the rest will all work out. The biggest thing I take pride in is taking resonsibility for my own actions. strenghts and weaknesses.

Just keep your honor and self pride. It is all we really own.