dle ramblings I thought I’d share since this place is lame.

First off, you all are letting me down. I want some drama around here. Please some one, fall in love. Or break up. Something. How else can I get my drama-induced adrenaline rush?

Next idle thought. I looked at the Freeloaders, Renters, Buyers questionnaire. I even took it. I fell into buyer by 2 points over Renter. I think a lot of it has to do with criticism. In my experience, not every criticism is valid. When the rules keep changing, when there are different playbooks, then criticism doesn’t mean you should have to change. After a time, you should walk. Once again with the Harley methods and theories, they presuppose a reasonable degree of emotional and psychic health.

Then, I tried to place my Ex. Not so simple. Based on things ex said and did, he would fall into the freeloader category when it comes to things like “I shouldn’t have to change.” Yet, when it comes to me, he would think I definitely should change to meet his needs. My guess is there’s a fourth category.

Oh, by the way, since I tend only to post the negative… M was away recharging his batteries. When he came back and we saw each other, he said the sweetest thing. He said we spent too much time away from each other. Isn’t that nice?

I’m also thinking about money. Money follows the heart, or so they say. So, I thought I should disclose some info to M about money. He has a good idea of my financial state, good and bad. However, he doesn’t know how I spend my money. Rather than an exact amount, I thought I’d give priorities for my disposable income.

Girls take at least 50%.
Church
Saving
House & Garden
Christmas and Birthday presents
Clothing and toiletry like haircuts for me
Vacation
Entertainment like movies, etc.

Does anyone think this would be a helpful discussion starter?

i cannot answer your money question but i can give you some "drama" so to speak.... gekko and i are 8 months into getting to know eachother now AND i am going to spend 5 days with him for new years eve... get to watch the "peach" drop there in atlanta... i am very excited about this! so things are going well.....

does that help?
mlhb

Absolutely! Doing lots of $$$ talk is vital to determining a "go-no/go" decision on any relationship. It is my opinion that folks talk far too little about it going in...then it often ends up being a BIG part of the conversations going forward. Not good.

Oh you are SUCH a drama queen!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

PS: I'm happy for you guys!! Hotlanta is an OK place to do New Years Eve. However, "kissing" is against the city ordinances, please be advised. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I miss the drama too. My life has been about kids, work, girl scouts and house. No dates or going out at all. We need something here.

So, GG, as you are one of the few actively dating, please provide something for us to consider, other than financial.
I do think it is difficult for non-parents to grasp how expensive children can be, and that is even if you are not an indulgent parent. I stopped trying to keep track because it is so depressing.

But, for a little non-dating drama:
I have to go to the county Courthouse today to file an
order to be able to take the girls to visit my family
over Thanksgiving. Although I gave him 2 months
notice, he's decided that I'm not allowed to leave on
Saturday, but I may leave on Monday or Wednesday.
The lawyer said to document this stuff.
I expect to have a legal order in hand if needed.
I was also told by the lawyer to warn all interested
parties, school, aftercare, (police if needed) etc.
He pulled the same stunt over Easter (after we'd had it all worked out in mediation).

I'd rather have a date than this drama.

LOL. I hear you. I got a nasty email because after three weeks of asking B about the Christmas schedule, he still refuses to commit to anything. Then, he accused me of being demanding when he was being accommodating. I checked his "accommodations," they were simply going by the agreement.

Anyway, I'm insisting on going by the book this Xmas

Well, I signed up to train to walk a half-marathon in March.

I am taking a hooping class - think hula hoop all grown up. Tonight, we worked on the pump, the limbo, and the booty bump. I get my custom made hoop this weekend, hopefully.

I am going to go see the touring production of 'The Lion King' next Tuesday.

I am going on a 'Diplomatic Mission' to see 'The Diplomat' in the 'the Far Kingdom' next week.

Sorry no drama here, just being a single father and loving it. ex gone now for 6 months, god how time fly when you are having fun! Guess the only drama in my life now is when my two boy fight (doesn't happen as much now that she is gone) and Dad has to keep the peace! Well greengales I am sure you will get your drama, I am new here but it looks like a great place for it (drama)

Drama? Oy, I could live without it thank you.

Hey GG! Sounds like things are running along smoothly for you & M. Nice!

Me & dating? HA! Nada. Been corresponding with a few guys on Match. Some have disappeared into a puff of smoke, others I've just not found an interest in. One I find interesting but either he's too busy (widowed dad with a very demanding, time consuming job) or he's just "not that into" me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

With the first email he warned he's got severe time constraints. This I know to be true & we have a mutual acquaintance who raves about him. Now when he writes he'll apologize for being remiss. I've got to ask myself do I want to date a man with apparently zero time for a personal life? No. How do you develop a relationship with someone always working? Can't, IMO.

Thanks for all the responses.

Newly, how goes it with the court order?

Saga, I hear you on the boys. I have two girls who seem to love to bicker.

Cinderella, long time, no hear from. I was wondering about you. I hope you have a great trip to visit the Diplomat. Exactly how many years has that been going on? LOL.

Mlhb, I think that’s wonderful. Are you a little nervous? I would be. Excited and nervous. There’s only one thing about dating someone on MB. You can’t post all the things you might if he/she didn’t read and post here.

HF, I can’t agree with you more when it comes to money discussions. M and I keep talking about it. I try to make him see that I’m not really a cost-savings. He continues to try to make me see how having one house would save us a LOT of money. We’ve had some pretty serious talks now. Tiptoeing around the edges and occasionally rushing in. There’s still some more to be hammered out. It’s scary to talk about money because values, strengths and weaknesses often come out.

Nams, I don’t blame you on the time constraints. How long can you date a man who only has a couple of hours to spare a month?

Guess what? M said “I think I may be starting to fall in love with you, too.” LOL. It caught me completely off guard. Starting to fall in love with me? After we’ve been talking about how money would work if we… you know. I’m glad he said it. It was sweet, even if it was a very softened, blurred ILY.

green, i am mot really nervous as gekko and i have already apent 2 long weekends together it is just that both times he came to ny. this time i am going there. maybe a little nervous...

mlhb

Bad week so far, don't know end result.
I found a new phrase to describe why I'm not dating "severe time constraints" I'm going with it.
I'm too busy drafting legal documents. And I even got kudos from X's lawyer.
I can't understand why X has to ruin every holiday for us.
We have an emergency family counseling session tonight.
We've been in tears all week, and the school counselor has called to say DD has been in very stressed out.

There definitely is a lack of drama these days!
(where's peachy? she always has some good stuff going on!)

I got nothing much to add to the drama level.

BF and I had a lengthy serious discussion 2 weeks ago; and we're better than ever. We're great. Love him to death!

I still get the occaisional call from XBF who (since we broke up a year ago last summer) decided that he looooooooves me. He's still having a big pity party. And got himself involved (big yuck warning here.....) with a MARRIED woman....and one of his best friends wive's no less.
So he got a major a$$ chewing from me. Now he's doubly sorry for himself because I'm mad at him and he doesn't have me. boo hoo. (I had compassion for him until the affair, now I got no time for any of it.)

hmmm...thats all I got....

Yeah, I think our main drama queens have left the building...

I wish I could come up with something, but I ain't dating, so how much drama can there be in my life... Unless you count the fact that I had to replace subflooring in my son's bathroom because it was improperly framed to support tile; but that is more of a nuisance than drama, right? So I'll be tiling this weekend, which will make a dramatic difference...

AGG

drama? who need it. If you need drama! all I can say is have children and you will get your belly full of it! LOL

I dunno... In contrast to my dating experiences, my children have been the center of calmness and stability in my daily life <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. What a pleasure to deal with someone normal on a daily basis <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

you must not have a teenage daughter....

Nope, not for another 17 months <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

GG,
After a rough week, and consultation with the mediator, my lawyer and his, I took the girls on vacation as planned, and as notified 2 months ago.
Now, I have poked the sleeping passive/agressive bear. The girls were thrilled when I woke them up to leave earlier than planned. They were worried about a showdown at school. Our goal this week is to spend each day with the cousins they can't see unless we travel. And that's all they really care about, seeing family.
I'm sure there will be repercussions, but for now it is calm.
When I return, I will need to file a motion to include vacation and holidays in our official document. Currently, they are included by addition. Do you (or anyone else on MB) have any good wording for vacations/holidays?
Have a great holiday?