I've been dating this new man for 1 week. I like to be pursued so when we met, he asked for my number and called me the next day. We've been on 4 dates already (which is a lot according to my standards) and we've been either calling or texting each other every day. We have really enjoyed each other's company and every date has been great. He has always initiated contact but yesterday was the first time where he neither called or texted. I'm bummed.

Is it okay for me to call him? Am I being silly and too rigid?

Sorry if this is a silly question...Dating is still so new to me.

Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.

Ready2wait?
You aren't too patient.
One day isn't too much.

What? He broke the "48-hour rule??"

LOL my kids have informed me that there's a "48-hour rule" where a boy (man) should not call the girl (woman) for 48 hours after getting her number!

I'd never heard of such a thing but my kids razzed me about it when B called me the day after our first date.

My DS stood there sternly as I'd been on the phone after 9:00 PM... he folded his arms and said with a huge smile on his face, "We didn't raise you that way." (We would be his sister and himself!)... I haven't laughed so hard in my life!

Tell you what - if you're traditional, play hard to get. Don't call or text - wait for him to do so.

If you don't like flirty games, call him or text. Don't assume he's not contacting you deliberately - perhaps he's been busy at work or something. If it's driving you nuts, call him.

B and I have been in touch by phone, text or email daily since our first date - and of course we've seen each other... if he hadn't called or whatever in the first week I probably wouldn't have made a big deal of it - but at this point (several weeks in), I'd be surprised if I didn't hear from him - but usually I let him initiate communication, although not always. I'll initiate email or text - he phones.

JMHO

JinGA

OK...so he has initiated the contact everyday so far. Maybe it's your turn to return the favor. If you feel uncomfortable about calling him, try a quick text. Something like:

Thinking about you. Hope you had a great day.

Keep it short and sweet and I am sure that he will appreciate you reaching out to him as well. If he continues to be the only initating contact, he may begin to feel that you just aren't that interested in him or that your relationship so far has been one sided...

So far, I have been trying to view dating as a tennis match... Volley back and forth taking turns seems to be the best approach that I have found.

Good luck!

I agree with Xetta, but also consider that he's probably busy. M and I often go a day or two without a phone call or email. Not so much any more because there are lots of logistics we're working on, but it shows you that there are all different approaches.

I'd also S L O W down. 4 dates in a week is a lot.

He did end up calling on Monday night and though we talked briefly, I was simply relieved that he called. He asked how my Sunday was and we just caught up. We ended the conversation by agreeing to check our calendars to see each other again.

Yes, I just need to be patient!!! The dating world is tricky and it requires a lot of patience without getting too concerned about the other party.

I called him last night and left him a message but he didn't call back. I texted him this morning just to say "hi." We'll see if he calls or texts back. I suppose I should stop worrying about it and relax.

His b-day is this week. I want to do something special for him but what would be appropriate at this point?

My question now is, how does one show interest in the other person without being clingy?

How about a card and you take him out to dinner? It's only been two weeks, so you can't go over the top with a "special" birthday. He'll see that as Psychogirlfriend behavior.

Plus, he may have plans with friends or family, so don't panic if he can't do it.

It's his birthday...

Do you know where he works and what type of car he drives?

I've done this with the x and then also my OD on her 18th birthday.

I decorated the car with streamers and those chalk markers, just simply Happy Birthday across the windshield, some balloons on the antenna.

You can put a little gift tag on the wiper blade with, hope you had a nice day on your birthday, perhaps I can buy you a birthday dinner this week sometime.

It's fun and goofy, not to serious and invites him out later in the week as he might be expected to spend his birthday with family or relatives.

Just a thought!!!

Dawn

Heh not that I'm speaking from much experience here *cough* - perhaps this is the blind leading the blind...

But yeah sometimes it's hard to distinguish between interested and clingy. If in doubt, back off just a bit. Be a bit elusive - don't play games, but perhaps play a bit "hard to get". Let him pursue you but just show enough interest so that he's clear that you like him - like I said, no games... just play it cool.

I've been seeing B for just about a month now - he does most of the calling, but if it's appropriate, I do call him. Sometimes (not every day), I'll send him a little text message just to let him know I'm thinking about him - but I'll just send *one*. I'm taking things at my own pace but I'm more or less letting him lead the way, and letting him know where my comfort zone is.

We can talk very openly about this sort of thing, so it hasn't been a guessing game or a mystery... he's a bit guarded too - we've both been hurt in the past, so we're both content at the pace we're going.

It sure is nice to know somebody cares, isn't it?

JinGA

It is nice to know someone cares. I, too, have been seeing someone for about a month now. It's great and I worry too about being clingy. If I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, then I will allow myself to call, otherwise, I will only let myself send one text message, a short one at that. It takes restraint sometimes. And yes, he's been hurt before like I have been. It will take time to build that trust again and I just have to keep that in mind.

Take is one day at a time...one date at a time.

I hear that <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yep, one day at a time - that's the key. Not getting ahead of oneself or him or anything else. Hard for us "planner" types... but it must be done!

JinGA