I've about had it with the single life. - 07/07/08 07:43 PM
The single life has its advantages: you are not accountable to anyone for what you do every hour of every day, or for how you spend your money; and you don't have to worry about anyone moving your stuff around or throwing it away. You can have a quiet evening at home by yourself any time you feel like it, and you can listen to whatever music you want and pick your movies and television shows without any negotiation.
On the other hand, if you happen to find someone who shares your values and interests, who offers an intriguingly different perspective on everything you encounter in life, and who fits really well in the crook of your arm, well...
Some trade-offs aren't anywhere close to even.
I preferred Match.com over eHarmony.com because I would rather draw my own conclusions from what people choose to write in their profiles (and how they write) than depend on a simplistic standardized computer model which hides people behind layers of cookie-cutter checkboxes. Ironically, however, my reasoning in that regard did not stop me from filtering my Match.com searches according to my own biased expectations.
For example, I wasn't looking for someone fifteen years younger than myself. And with three degrees of my own, I wasn't looking for someone who had never graduated from college. One thing my previous marriage taught me is that if I ever got married again, I would not settle for less than an equal partnership.
But some people are very self-aware and mature relatively quickly. And sometimes they leave college not because they can't excel in that environment, but because they realize it is not preparing them for what they want to do.
On Match.com, a "wink" is a way for someone to indicate receptivity to communication. It's sort of like saying "I read your profile, and if you check out mine and decide you want to e-mail me, I'm predisposed to respond."
That was last December. We're getting married this October.
It's been an interesting journey. During the first months of our relationship, we were both in school more than half-time while working full-time. Our schedules were so difficult that by the time we were talking about marriage, neither of us had really been introduced into each other's circle of family and friends. Initial reactions were understandably along the lines of "You're getting married? I didn't even know you were seriously dating. Who is this person?" The age gap and my previous divorce did not exactly make people feel any better about the situation. Fortunately, as our social opportunities have expanded with the summer months, concerns have been considerably allayed across the board.
Well...maybe not this board.
On the other hand, if you happen to find someone who shares your values and interests, who offers an intriguingly different perspective on everything you encounter in life, and who fits really well in the crook of your arm, well...
Some trade-offs aren't anywhere close to even.
I preferred Match.com over eHarmony.com because I would rather draw my own conclusions from what people choose to write in their profiles (and how they write) than depend on a simplistic standardized computer model which hides people behind layers of cookie-cutter checkboxes. Ironically, however, my reasoning in that regard did not stop me from filtering my Match.com searches according to my own biased expectations.
For example, I wasn't looking for someone fifteen years younger than myself. And with three degrees of my own, I wasn't looking for someone who had never graduated from college. One thing my previous marriage taught me is that if I ever got married again, I would not settle for less than an equal partnership.
But some people are very self-aware and mature relatively quickly. And sometimes they leave college not because they can't excel in that environment, but because they realize it is not preparing them for what they want to do.
On Match.com, a "wink" is a way for someone to indicate receptivity to communication. It's sort of like saying "I read your profile, and if you check out mine and decide you want to e-mail me, I'm predisposed to respond."
That was last December. We're getting married this October.
It's been an interesting journey. During the first months of our relationship, we were both in school more than half-time while working full-time. Our schedules were so difficult that by the time we were talking about marriage, neither of us had really been introduced into each other's circle of family and friends. Initial reactions were understandably along the lines of "You're getting married? I didn't even know you were seriously dating. Who is this person?" The age gap and my previous divorce did not exactly make people feel any better about the situation. Fortunately, as our social opportunities have expanded with the summer months, concerns have been considerably allayed across the board.
Well...maybe not this board.