Marriage Builders
Posted By: notheard legalism and spirit lead - 09/04/10 06:48 PM
I realize this is not a christian site but...

I've generally leaned and hung out with people who lean toward the legalistic side. I'm trying to change my ways some. I've been single for 9 years. When I was married for thirteen years my husband was continually unfaithful. We had a pattern going. He would've stayed with me forever and continued in it but I divorced him. I got a lot of opposition from the church. I went through the divorce alone but with God and feel it was the right thing for me. During the marriage I was in support groups with other women and men going through the same thing. What I had and saw was a lot of bible reading/believing, praying going to church husbands with problems with prostitution, pornography, unfaithfulness but in church they could walk the walk and talk the talk and blend in like anyone else.

During my 9 years of singleness I've dated. But I haven't really been attracted to anyone who recipricated until now. He is catholic and I'm conservative Christian. I attend a charismatic church that my kids love. I love the people however, I'm afraid that my friends and loved ones will judge him and my relationship with him. I admit I would've judged someone else in my shoes. He can't walk the walk and talk the talk but he is Christian. He has integrity and morals. Jesus came for us to have life and life abundantly. This relationship satisfies me. I'm not going ot compromise my morals in it. I don't know what this relationship can offer to God or the Kingdom of God but it makes me happy. I'm just bracing myself for the opposition which is easy for me to do cause I wouldve been the one opposing if I was on the outside looking in at this. Does anyone have any thoughts, words of wisdom, to offer my situation.
Posted By: johnstwin Re: legalism and spirit lead - 09/04/10 08:54 PM
Hi notheard-

I have a few thoughts about your situation. First of all, I am a Christian and have many Christian friends of all denominations-charismatic, Catholic, Messianic Jewish, etc. For me, Catholic believers are those who prefer a worship service that that is more traditional in style and liturgy.

I am curious about what you mean by "he can't walk the walk and talk the talk...". If he is a man who loves the Lord, and has integrity and morals based on his faith-then he IS walking the walk. His actions and his lifestyle show the fruits of the Spirit in him. He may not know the "talk" (or lingo) of your church but that isn't really the "talk".

The best part of it is, God is the one who knows how He will use each one of us for His kingdom.

Hope this helps-
Posted By: stillstanding2 Re: legalism and spirit lead - 09/05/10 04:38 PM
I believe that God knows our hearts. Period. We do not have to prove our hearts to men. Perhaps a non-denominational church would be a better fit for you and your new man? Perhaps something more accepting of different Christian views?
Posted By: KayC Re: legalism and spirit lead - 09/07/10 09:27 PM
What? This isn't a Christian site???

I don't know who you're hanging out with that is so judgmental but I'd get away from them. Be honest first and foremost with yourself, make sure you aren't justifying being with him if you have any qualms. Make sure the two of you really can fit harmoniously together with different faiths...my brother-in-law married a Catholic girl, he promised never to sway her from her church (he is Nazarene), they have been married over 20 years now and do "double duty", they attend Sat. night mass at her church and attend his church on Sunday. They have a great marriage. Not everyone can make it work, but if you both put forth the effort and respect, I don't see why you can't. Maybe it'd be something to talk to his priest and your pastor about.
Posted By: hurtgurl Re: legalism and spirit lead - 09/21/10 05:04 AM
I'm Catholic... I have several friends who attend non-denom. church and have attended services with them - just as they have attended Mass with me. I agree with John that the issue could be the "lingo", but I would be glad to anwer any questions about the Catholic faith that you might have.

Why do you feel that your friends would judge you and your relationship?
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