Will she help me be a better person? - 12/15/10 07:53 PM
Just gonna make a short question and share some opinions on this topic. I think many of us will relate.
I am a big proponent of having a good healthy, independant life BEFORE you look for a romantic, solid, relationship. I also beleive that if you need someone to make you whole, you allways be struggling with stability. Happiness, satisfaction with yourself and your life, has much to do with your own perception on whether you have everything you deserve, and whether you accept it as being good. Friends, meaningful work or employment of yourself in the world, whether it be for monitary gain, or support of others, are things we all need individually before we seek to bring some else into our life. Hopefully those things can be shared, and we share other dreams too.
How much, if at all, should we look for someone to help us in the dreams we have? Would that not mean if we looked for someone who would support us in those dreams and aspirations we were setting ourselve up for co-dependancy? If we thought we would be stronger when someone was with us, just because we were not alone anymore, because they loved us, would we be, as I suspect, tragically dependant and needy?
Or are we , by nature, dependant and needy, to be loved? How many people her have experienced the high of being in love? You have reached a place you needed to be, you have a reason to move ahead, be a better person, and you then feel able, and the search is over?
I have a couple opinions on this. They vary from believing in time with the right support from Gods wisdom, real people, and real life circumstances that force independance, we will become stronger and more effectual in life, reguardless if we have someone in it to help......to the opinion that we all need someone that loves us, just because they do, just the way we are, warts and inperfections and all, and are willing to share the journey where we help each other grow and prosper.
I guess both of those choices can be realized without a romantic relationship, and just good freinds who love us, but that is where the question comes in. Do we really need them for the right reasons?
Once we are romantically involved, the chemistry changes, and we will become attached, and therefore to our higher aspirations, even in relationships. We want to make this the best relationship ever, now that we are in one. In my case, it was also because I didn't run away, and I had children. A Man, a father, did not run away from his wife and kids.
So anyway, I feel that there is so much before me, and I really am looking forward to what I have, but yet am still reeling from loss, and licking my wounds, so to speak. Inspiration is coming slower than I want it to, and I am not satisfied with myself. That is probably stemmed from a long history emotionally, and that too will take time to get straight. In the most positive end, I will be satisfied with who I am and be able to be that happy person without having anybody close to prove it. I of course want to beleive that I can share what is a good life with someone. I guess it will happen when I realize it.
But what is it. that makes us feel incomplete, without a romantic relationship? What do we even look for?
I am a big proponent of having a good healthy, independant life BEFORE you look for a romantic, solid, relationship. I also beleive that if you need someone to make you whole, you allways be struggling with stability. Happiness, satisfaction with yourself and your life, has much to do with your own perception on whether you have everything you deserve, and whether you accept it as being good. Friends, meaningful work or employment of yourself in the world, whether it be for monitary gain, or support of others, are things we all need individually before we seek to bring some else into our life. Hopefully those things can be shared, and we share other dreams too.
How much, if at all, should we look for someone to help us in the dreams we have? Would that not mean if we looked for someone who would support us in those dreams and aspirations we were setting ourselve up for co-dependancy? If we thought we would be stronger when someone was with us, just because we were not alone anymore, because they loved us, would we be, as I suspect, tragically dependant and needy?
Or are we , by nature, dependant and needy, to be loved? How many people her have experienced the high of being in love? You have reached a place you needed to be, you have a reason to move ahead, be a better person, and you then feel able, and the search is over?
I have a couple opinions on this. They vary from believing in time with the right support from Gods wisdom, real people, and real life circumstances that force independance, we will become stronger and more effectual in life, reguardless if we have someone in it to help......to the opinion that we all need someone that loves us, just because they do, just the way we are, warts and inperfections and all, and are willing to share the journey where we help each other grow and prosper.
I guess both of those choices can be realized without a romantic relationship, and just good freinds who love us, but that is where the question comes in. Do we really need them for the right reasons?
Once we are romantically involved, the chemistry changes, and we will become attached, and therefore to our higher aspirations, even in relationships. We want to make this the best relationship ever, now that we are in one. In my case, it was also because I didn't run away, and I had children. A Man, a father, did not run away from his wife and kids.
So anyway, I feel that there is so much before me, and I really am looking forward to what I have, but yet am still reeling from loss, and licking my wounds, so to speak. Inspiration is coming slower than I want it to, and I am not satisfied with myself. That is probably stemmed from a long history emotionally, and that too will take time to get straight. In the most positive end, I will be satisfied with who I am and be able to be that happy person without having anybody close to prove it. I of course want to beleive that I can share what is a good life with someone. I guess it will happen when I realize it.
But what is it. that makes us feel incomplete, without a romantic relationship? What do we even look for?