Together 17 yrs but not married - 10/16/13 05:43 PM
I'm new here, glad I found this forum. Me, BW, early 50's. D-Day 5/31/13. Lived together 17 years, no kids. The house is in his name. He gave me the speech, "...love you, but not in love with you..." And told me to leave. Found out he was/still is having an on-going affair, and had 3 previous one-nite stands.
Because we were not married, he did not have to provide any financial assistance, but because he wanted to make sure I was "taken care of" he is paying my car payment and insurance. He is financially well off and can afford to provide more. (He is paying for the car so I would leave.) I had to quit my part time job, leave my home and dogs and drove to another state to stay with a family member until I can get on my feet. I have no savings (we used it to get thru a tough financial patch last year).
I would like to reconcile - even though we were never legally married, I considered us 'married' and made a personal commitment to stand by him. Do I go back to the town where he lives and get a job there/find a place to live there and work towards a reconciliation - or am I nuts and should I just close the door on this very painful experience and stay away from him.
I'm very much still in love with him and am willing to do the work to rebuild our love but know it will be a painful process.
Very conflicted and need advice.
Because we were not married, he did not have to provide any financial assistance, but because he wanted to make sure I was "taken care of" he is paying my car payment and insurance. He is financially well off and can afford to provide more. (He is paying for the car so I would leave.) I had to quit my part time job, leave my home and dogs and drove to another state to stay with a family member until I can get on my feet. I have no savings (we used it to get thru a tough financial patch last year).
I would like to reconcile - even though we were never legally married, I considered us 'married' and made a personal commitment to stand by him. Do I go back to the town where he lives and get a job there/find a place to live there and work towards a reconciliation - or am I nuts and should I just close the door on this very painful experience and stay away from him.
I'm very much still in love with him and am willing to do the work to rebuild our love but know it will be a painful process.
Very conflicted and need advice.