So here is the deal, I was looking at my profile on a dating site when I noticed that this very attractive girl looked at my profile. She isn't local, but I was blown away at the answers to the questions, and what she wrote. She has a great attitude and we share a lot in common so I messaged her and told her and that it made my day.

She writes back, says I made her day, and starts asking about my life, kids, and about the airplane. We started sending messages back and forth and have found ak kinds of interests and it seems like she would really like being in AK. She is super outdoorsy and loves the things that AK is known for.

3 days of messaging back and forth and she lays out her story and starts asking more personal things. I can tell she is very interested and she certainly has my attention. She share the same faith, view on family, church, and recreation.

Our stories are very similar with wayward spouses.

At this point I'm getting pretty excited about the possibility, but on the flip side she is on the east coast so I feel like it's a long shot.

So my question to the women on this forum, how would you feel about relocating if the dude you are interested in lives where you want to live? How would you go about meeting him? What could this dude do to reveal that is is very interested back without sounding wierd?

Personally, I'd probably want him to visit me first. It's always more comfortable to get to know someone on your own turf.

Hey ak1, that's great that you found someone that you connect with in the east coast hottie! Just want to ensure you're doing your due diligence and make sure she is who she says she is before you invest anything into her. It's easy to do... skype is a good tool. Just watch out for yourself buddy!

What is the custody arrangement with her ex? She can't just up and move if the ex has/wants visitation with his children.

Personally...my vibe from most long distance people is that they are either desperate or something is wrong with them. Sorry but that has been my experience when someone shows strong interest and the other person lives thousands of miles away...and is looking for a mate 'anywhere.'

I don't think she is desperate or anything wrong with her. The site I'm on has questions you can answer and it scrolls the questions to other users regardless of geography. So she probably saw me that way or she was looking in AK because I know she would love to live here.

It was just chance that I noticed her and messaged her, and more chance that she wrote back and we started talking.

She has full custody so that isn't an issue.

Certainly I'm being very careful, and find tech to be a useful way of getting to know her.

At this point it's far to early to tell what is going on, but I'm just curious if anyone else had this work out.

Sure! I had a shipmate when I was stationed out in Oregon who met his wife in Puerto Vallarta when she was on holiday. They did the long distance thing for a bit (she was in Canada) and then got married. Happily ever after and all that. It happens!

Ak,

I started to become romantically attached to a woman 2000 miles away .....
its on my thread...and it didnt turn out good.

But I remain a hopeless romantic. And if Cary Grant can make it to the top of the empire state building then I won't say that it isnt possible.

Full custody doesn't mean freedom to relocate.

So, I met my exH online. It was way back when I was in college, he was in the military stationed across the country. Back before match.com, in some random AOL chatroom. We "talked" for a year before we met face to face, because shortly after we first connected online he was ordered to Okinawa for a year.
During that year, we exchanged countless phone calls, emails, letters, photos. We didn't do any video-chatting, I don't think it was even available back then (this was a good 15-16 years ago).
Once he made it back to the States, and his 4 years was up, I went to his home state to spend a week with him and his family. A week later, he moved to my state (I was still in college) and we were together for 10 years.
Now, of course, we ended in divorce. But the point is, when there's a will, there's a way. We exchanged so many photos of us doing everyday things and the hours and hours of phone calls made me feel completely comfortable with him. I knew him, and when we met there were no surprises. It wasn't weird. The first day I met him face to face, it was like I had known him all my life.

Get to know each other as much as you can before you make the move to fly out and visit. Scour her Facebook, LinkedIn, Skype with her. If she's into you too, you won't come across as weird.
Just keep your eyes open for red flags - don't put the blinders on just because she says all the right things!

I will share something that a relative of mine did.
he was youngm and always looking for quick money.

He created an online profile as a woman, and would chat with men and would actually get mailed gifts.
Once he even received a new laptop from a man in Japan!

Time for an update!

So I've been talking to this girl, we will call her Tara, for a little over 3 weeks now. At first it was just a lot of emailing, then we talked on the phone and I liked her even more (and I liked her a lot to begin with), then we switched to video chat, and wow! This girl is super pretty, active, dresses well, her house is well decorated (a big need of mine), but most of all she is super considerate and thoughtful.

I appear to be meeting her needs really well too as we are constantly talking and trading pictures and such.

About a week ago I asked if she wanted to meet DS12 and she said sure, so I got him on the chat thing and he was super cute, and virtually shook her hand and high fived her.

The more we talk the more we want to be together so I'm getting a plane ticket and planning on heading down to meet her, her kids, her parents, and her friends the 3rd week of March.

I told her that I wanted to meet everyone in her life first so that they aren't denied their desire to look after her, and because I thought it best to meet her on her turf and let her decide if she wants to pursue a more committed relationship with me, knowing that it would require her to move since she is FAR more portable than I am given the custody/house/job and because she wants to live in the mountains anyway.

So yea, I don't know if she is the one, but I'll totally willing to hop a plane to see, and I'll be thrilled if she is!

If it works out as well as we both hope, she will come up to AK in July which is super exciting.

ak

Silly question: where is AK?

Alaska!

I never thought about that! I was wracking my brains for all the states I knew, and that one escaped me!

Do people really live there? Do they have towns and cities and everything - not just polar bears?

This is a AMERICAN SECRET, Missy! But since you are a friendly foreign devil, we will tell you! They live in igloos up there!

And they ride mooses to get from place to place.

It is called mooseback riding!

There are lots of options for "dating" while doing the long distance thing. You just have to be creative and use technology. Just to clarify though, if things go well in a few weeks, she will come and visit in July, not move her whole family to Alaska in July right?

Correct, just a visit.

I see her environment, meet her parents, children, and friends, we do stuff together, have some fun. If that works then she comes up here with her children and we do the same.

After that, I'm not sure, perhaps repeat the cycle until she decides it's worth the risk of moving or that I'm not the one.

Even if she does move we won't live together and if things don't work out she can return home.

I'll keep this thread updated.

Good deal! Have fun!

Another update!

So I'm heading down to the lower-48 on March 20th, and I'm so excited. I get to see a lovely girl I really like in a part of the country I've never seen before. Should be a blast.

I really like how smart, thoughtful, caring, gentle, and pretty she is. The last 5 years of my marriage was with a seriously selfish and narcissistic woman that acted like a renter and wanted the world from me with little to nothing in return. It's quite a contrast and it's got me absolutely thrilled to be seeing this new lady.

I'll post more when I return.

ak

Good luck Sir

I just signed up for this site since I'm getting married in a little over a week, and this tread caught my eye since my entire relationship has been a long distance relationship. I wish you luck as you go out and meet this lady.

I'm here!

I'm in my hotel room getting ready to spend the day with her. She picked me up at the airport last night and she gave me a big hug then we just stared at each other. It was great!!!

We drove around a bit last night just visiting and enjoying each other, and soon we are off to hang out of the day.

I'm thrilled, she is just lovely, I can't wait to meet the rest of her family!

ak

That's great!
Have a great time...but keep your head on your shoulders too

Keep us updated.

Have a fantastic time.,

Well?

Just wondering how your weekend turned out?

I'm back and had an absolute blast.

For the first few days we were close friends getting to know each other, doing stuff together, and having fun, then on the last two days I took her out on a date and kissed her, and now we are exclusive and she is looking at coming up at the end of next month to see my kids, friends, and family.

Here are some observations I made:

Her friends and family are super nice people that really care about her. The friends of hers I stayed with have an invitation to come to AK and stay in my guest room so I can return the favor.

She goes to a really solid church and knows the Bible really well.

She is very intelligent, and is a very quick learner. She has a much better sense of direction than I do, and I can hold my own.

She is very pretty. The attraction meter was in the red the whole week.

Her kids are very sweet and well behaved. I really enjoyed being around them.

She is very thoughtful, and was very considerate.

She isn't picky at all. She has preferences but can be content with however things work out.

We negotiated well. We hit a very popular tourist trap and did a lot of negotiating like where to park the car, which things to look at, how much time at one thing vs another, when to eat, what to eat, how to plan the day, etc.

I really enjoy her kisses, and she really enjoyed mine.

I found her pretty easy to read, so I knew how she was feeling most of the time and what to do to care for her.

So as you can tell I'm super excited with this girl and cant wait to see her again.

ak

So what about logistics?

Woww,, good going, AK!!

I'm glad you had such a good time and things went great between you two!

She will come up by herself and check stuff out, and if she likes my kids/family and AK then I'll look for a way for her to spend the summer up here. By the end of the summer I think we will know what to do next.

How exciting!

How long will she be there in AK with you?

That's great!

I hope it all works out for ak. Keep us updated.

ak, I am super happy for you, but have a nagging concern. I don't remember about her kids, does a potential move include taking them away from an involved father?

Her exWWH lives 1500 miles away and doesn't see the kids.

If she comes up here then he will have the same visitation and logistical issues as before.

On her first visit she will probably only be here a week since she has little ones at home (same as me). When she brings her kids up, I suspect she will stay here the majority of the summer.

It feels good to be in love again, especially since I completely understand what she does that makes me feel loved and what I am doing to make her feel the same. It doesn't feel difficult and fragile, it feels deliberate and purposeful.

I talked to her a bit about MB, and she read through the website and tried to employ the principles when she was trying to get her exWWH to come back to earth, and is completely on board. I asked if she would read through his needs / her needs with me and she said she would love to.

I'm going to send her some stuff very soon, so I'll toss a copy of the book in with the rest of it.

There SO needs to be a 'like' button

Ditto!

She has her tickets and will be here at the end of the month.

I gotta say, I'm just wild about this girl. She is just so amazing to me. She is everything on my list and more. I can't wait to see her again.

Also, I got her a copy of HNHN and we will be reading it together. I asked if she would do that with me since it was the most influential book I read when I was trying to make sense of my exWW, and she said she would really enjoy that as she really wants a marriage where the spouses read and grow together, and is really interested maintaining this smitten feeling we have for each other.

I'm really really happy!

Way Cool.

Did you ever read Lovebusters? It's a must.

Excellent way to introduce her to MB.

What about introducing her to the forum or at the very least the website?