My husband had an affair a little over 5yrs ago while he was deployed. We are a military family. We have done everything we are "supposed" to do...read all the books....been in marriage counseling and individual counseling...with Pastors and secular.

I still hurt over it. He has done all that he knows to do....I have done all I know to do.

What now? How can I hold my marriage and family together? At this point it is all me. I can't seem to let go of the hurt he inflicted on me. I was devoted to him in all ways.

Hi Ruthlesstoothless - Welcome to the MB website and forum!

I'm assuming that your H is still in the military, and that he is still "deployable" at anytime...

Have you and your H discussed ways that you can both protect your M if/when he deploys again? If not, this would be a great subject to bring up with a trusted Chaplain, or a pro-marriage MC.

What has your H done to help you work through pain of HIS affair? You mentioned MC and IC... what did you both learn?

If your H is still deployable, and you haven't discussed ways for each of you to protect your M when he deploys, then I can see where you would still have trouble with the pain of his last A, even though it was 5 years ago.

Have you both read the basic concepts here on the MB website? Have you read Surviving An Affair? If not, I'd highly recommend reading it together and studying the concepts for protecting your M.

The military section doesn't get much traffic, so you might want to move you thread to the "Surviving an Affair" forum since it gets more traffic.

Again, welcome!

Semper Fi,

RIF