My husband has been in the Military now for 22 years and hes fixing to retire now, Well iv caught him talking and chasing other women since we have been married (3 years). According to his ex-wife (also active duty) he did the same while they were together..

I don know if its a power thing that the Military has shown him or is he seriously messed up in the head? I caught him msging a coworker sexual advances and he tells me he wasnt cheating he just likes to flirt, FLIRT! he wants to have sex with the women! ..

I need advice cause now im just in so much hurt and at a lose, he wanted to try to save our marriage but he doesnt want to have to tell me where hes at when he goes out ! its like he doesnt think what he does is seriously wrong...ugh what should I do plus hes fixing to retire, Im really trying to believe God will fix this

June,

Was he married when you met him?

God gives us free will, June. He chose to do this with his first wife, he chose it with you, and he has said that he is unwilling to change his behavior.

Chasing womem/adultery is more important than marriage to him.

God also gives YOU free will to accept it or divorce him for adultery. Your choice. You will not be safe in this marriage.

So sorry for your pain, June.

I'd like to suggest that you post over on the Surviving An Affair board -- more people frequent that board, and you will receive more help there.

Others will be along soon. One point that I would like to make is that his mindset won't magically retire when he leaves the military.

So his retirement may reduce some of his opportunities but he can find others. What will have to change is his minset about marriage, his willingness to avoid tempting situations, and his willingness to STOP those things that cause you unhappiness.

Have you read the Basic Concepts on this site?

The very first thing you need to do is expose him. Please read: Exposure 101