Let me say upfront that I do agree with you!
Here are my traps: First, my plan B letter told her not to contact me if she was seeing OMs - she says she's not.
Second, Plan B isn't supposed to be a Plan D - it's supposed to be about saving the marriage. With that in mind, you and I both realize she has to fix herself or there is no marriage.
So, if I do as you suggest, I move out of Plan B and into Plan D. Again, I'm not disagreeing with your suggestion, merely clarifying.
During our conversation, she said she did not comprehend how silence was supposed to save the marriage. I began to explain that it was the silence - the lack of bickering, arguing, fighting and the absence of a loved one that is supposed to help one sort through their own feelings. That is why she wanted to call me back � to have me explain what so she could not understand.
Clinically speaking, she is not a psychopath. She feels deeply hurt by the mess she created for anyone who was pulled into this crap. She is taking responsibility for it, too. She is ashamed of what she�s done. She�s trying to run away from everyone because of the shame.
Clinically speaking, she IS suffering from dangerously low self-worth, very poor boundary control and she is emotionally-dependent AND codependent. She suffers from depression and SAD. She has been diagnosed as a love addict. She is the embodiment of every single one of the twelve characteristics of an ACA � according to both her and her psychologist. Her psychologist firmly believes she suffers from PTSD and is suppressing an incident of molestation. Her doc also feels she may suffer from Bipolar Disorder II. Her therapist feels she would benefit from weekly treatment, but that it would take two to five years to help her.
Thank you for your kind words (RE: nice guy). If I was a nice guy, I�d call her and tell her, �you�re right � we need to divorce. I�m sorry I it ended this way. Good luck.� But, I won�t do that. I�ve told her she�s running from her problems and I disagree with her decision. I AM laying the divorce on her conscience so that I know that I did everything in my power to save the marriage.
I know this won't win me any popularity contests, but I AM looking for someone who will respect me - I fully predict WW to continue running and like I've said, I'm okay with that.