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that the husband that loves his wife unconditionally should NOT do so in action at all cost...ie life...
Dont be so absolute here. What about the husband that pushes his wife out of the way of an oncoming vehicle and he takes the hit? That was a loss of life for his wife?

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so if a husband is married to someone who is a drug addict and destroying the life of children...or who is an infidel and putting at risk the life of their spouse...ie aides, etc...

Then it would appear that while the husband is free to maintain the unconditional love in feeling...they should not continue the unconditional love in ACTION...
to point of destroying their own life....
No one said there shouldnt be boundaries. Jesus even has boundaries. "...no one gets to the Father except through Me." Judas betrayed Him. We all have. He died for even the ones who have and will reject Him. Does that mean that His blood will cover the unbeliever's sins? Absolutely not. Dying for that unbeliever is not the same thing as being run over by them. Dying is what I wrote somewhere i nthat study, where it is dying to self. I should always put my wife's needs ahead of anyone elses, even my children's. But let's use the drug scenario. is it loving of my wife to let her continue in that, to continue possible abuse of my children? No it is not. Is it loving of me to get my children out of that environment and to have my wife get help before resuming contact with them? Absolutely.

Agape is God's kind of love. We can NOT do it on our own. it is impossible for any human being to agape anyone. That is without Jesus.

I will go into this more with Bob Pure's questions.


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I believe that God values the individual equally...
and does not value the man through his unconditional love in destructive actions...
God values man in spite of his destructive behaviors. That is what agape means.

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Sure, it will hurt. Crosses hurt. Spikes in your hand hurt. Spikes in your feet hurt. Spears in your side hurt. No one is saying that loving your wife wont hurt.

why do you say this motarman?...I would say that there are plenty of marriages in which love is not a painful thing but a blessed thing.......that there are plenty of marriages in which either has yet to hurt the other in any way that is more than superficial petty silly things....
and that these marriages are blessed by God...
First off, that is very doubtful. Sure, there are many marriages where there hasnt been infidelity. Or abuse. But to say there has been perfection (and just having silly spureficial stuff would be pretty close to perfection) is almost impossible. As a matter of fact, if that were true, that couple would have to be living by what God has laid out for the roles of husbands and wives. But the pain I talk about is not the pain of abuse or hurt that comes from the actions of a wife, necessarily. It is the pain that comes from sacrifice. Let me take something petty first. And this is an actual example. when my wife came back home to me and the kids, she was driving this broken down car (she had lost the expedition I had bought her because of repossession...I had put up boundaries and not paid it while she was in the A). When she walked back in, one of the first things I did was flip her the keys to my new car that I had just bought 6 months earlier. And I drove this broken down car for the next year until we bought one to replace it. Now, was that fair? Didnt I miss the CD player (the broken down one that I had now didnt have a CD player)? My wife had left in the affair, thus losing her Expedition. Why did I have to feel the pain of having to drive this piece of crap while my wife drove the nice new sedan? Agape. It is what Jesus told me to do. To put my wife ahead of me. To always put her needs, her desires ahead of my own. And any time you do that, you will have some kind of pain. Believe me, there were days I absolutely hated driving that car.

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As I have listed above, sacrifice…true sacrifice…is a public event. It has to be seen, by your wife and by others. Sacrifice also means you must suffer. It is the nature of sacrifice. If you are not suffering, then it isn’t sacrifice yet. As I outlined above.

grandiose demonstrative sacrifices ?
No. Not standing up saying "look at me." What is meant here is the kind of sacrifice that does not hide. Example? Well, let's say I had planned to play golf this coming weekend with the guys. But I found our about something my wife really wanted to go do or see with me. So, I make the decision to cancel the golf game and to go for her, putting her needs and desires ahead of mine. But I tell my friends that I am cancelling because of some other reason (sick, broken faucet, whatever). I do this because I dont want them to think that I dropped them because I wanted to take care of my wife's needs. No. Instead, my sacrifice has to be public. I tell the guys the truth...that my wife needs me, and I'll catch them next week. Simplistic example? sure, but I think you get the point.

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Four women were trapped in the storm as baseball sized hail rained down. And that sized hail can kill you. Their husbands were underneath an overhang, and when they saw their wives trapped in the deluge, they bolted out from underneath and ran thru the hail to them.

thousands sacrifice their lives for strangers as well...we become who we are meant to be..children of God...by being who we should be...brothers to our brothers....
No doubt. But that sacrificial love is what God calls a husband to do daily for his wife. In everything.

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God can’t raise something or someone that hasn’t died yet. In order to have a Crown, you have to have a Cross. You must die.

are you saying that God wants each marriage to be visited by some horrible trajedy...that is his vision of marriage...
Of course not. As I said above, it means a husband must die to himself. If he wants changes in his wife, in his marriage, he must die to himself. He must put her first. His needs, his wants, his desires must be secondary to hers.

More soon.