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Active Threads | Active Posts | Unanswered Today | Since Yesterday | This Week
Surviving an Affair Jump to new posts
Re: How to repair my marriage Darkguy Yesterday at 11:33 PM
I emailed Dr. Harley. Interacted with her for a little. We talked about current events, it was short. Asked her if she would like a sandwich as I am making some for dinner she said no. I asked her what she would be eating for dinner and she said I don’t know. She always forgets to eat when she’s stressed. She chuckled at one of my jokes and quickly hid it. This is the worse, feeling really hopeless about my marriage right now.
37 1,920 Read More
Surviving an Affair Jump to new posts
Re: Help, my ignorance enabled.. BrainHurts 05/16/22 02:37 PM
Yes a PI should be able to get the goods on if the OM has a wife or GF. Definitely ask the PI.

Yes this is why a GPS tracker and a VAR in her car would have been good, because you could have tracked where she was yesterday and she probably would have called him. Can you check her google maps to see where she was?

How was she when she came home? Did you ask why she wasn’t answering your texts?
6 275 Read More
Marriage Builders 101 Jump to new posts
Re: is there hope living with a narcissist SugarCane 05/04/22 11:45 PM
Wouldn't you have access to the retirement account if you divorced? I don't know where you live, but in my country there is consideration of pension provision when a marriage ends.
7 901 Read More
Marriage Builders 101 Jump to new posts
Re: sorry, this feels like a bunch of ... Mature 05/02/22 08:05 AM
None of the commentary seems to address the mental health of the partner trying to fix a relationship while fielding enormous resistance particularly if only one of our needs isn't being met.

I read the rewrite of "How can a husband get the sex he needs in marriage" and what struck me most was that the description of the third reason given for wives avoiding sex seemed to best describe how I feel when trying to reignite intimacy. The lack of empathy and action from my wife for my expressed complaints regarding lack of sexual fulfillment feed the feelings of resentment and increase my mental conflict while continuing to try to both 'woo' her and fight the growing resentment.

While she acknowledges there are problems with sex and sometimes tries to engage, the unsatisfactory outcome of poorly executed engagement eventually send me off into a withholding phase. It takes time to build up to getting my feelings back under control and that interferes with concentrating on her needs. Because I think we are avoidant by nature, it causes us to not have fights but just periods of withdrawal that I find progressively more difficult to get over. I eventual can do it by force of will and an eventual painful discussion ensues after the withdrawal actually causes my wife to engage in a discussion. It's causing me a lot of mental anguish.

Interestingly the MB Radio broadcast from Apr 29, 2022 seemed to encapsulate descriptions of a lot what I am dealing with, even if Dr Harley doesn't seem to believe the resentment thing is such a big deal for us males. I asked my wife to listen to it and I believe it has had an impact on her perspective, but only time will tell.

I suggest anybody reading this and having similar issues in the next few hours try and listen to broadcast before it gets replaced by something new.
16 685 Read More
Divorcing/Divorced Jump to new posts
Re: Annulment reconsideration help NewEveryDay 04/30/22 12:29 PM
I have a friend who the only reason it was eventually granted is that it was never successfully recorded. She had met the criteria but she kept being denied over 5 years. I hope yours goes better.
1 136 Read More
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