Me and my wife have been married for almost 15 years..about a month ago the daughter that she had when we got together real father shows up telling her he still loves her. He has not had anything to do with either of them in almost 20 years and has been with his wife that he left my wife to stay with all this time. The daughter told my wife that I am her dad and aways will be and know my wife is telling me she still has feelings for him and does not know if she wants me or him. She hide that they were talking till I found out then said that she did not want to hurt me with it. Now it has progressed to I need to meet him face to face to see if my feeling for him are real or just memorys.. I am so lost and hurt that I have almost left three times just to get away from the pain. We have had a good marrage on the most part is what she has told him. She has told me thru this whole thing that she has no intention of leaving and in an email to him and me that (she could not walk away from something she knows works and could not abandon our daughter) who is 13. We have had our struggles and in the last week we have been doing alot of talking about our past and the pains that we inflickted on each other. I found this site and she has read some of the information on it. After she read about the love bank we talked and she said that hers was in the red. I have been working very hard at meeting her emotional needs and trying to find the ones that she feels are most important. i just don't know what to believe or think. She is meeting him on friday for dinner and is suppose to come home and let me know if she is staying or going.

Last edited by hurting666; 04/07/09 12:25 PM.