First off, the first respondent was right that your wife has most likely already been physical with him. If you have read the materials here, you can probably see that when your wife started talking to her exHusband, she started an emotional affair. Now that she is deep in it, she has re-written your marital history making you out to be a monster. While there are certainly areas you can improve on in meeting her needs, her view is definitely an exaggeration to some degree. She is in an affair fog in which she views him through rose colored glasses and you through mud covered ones.

I completely agree with IHadEnough. I would tell her that you are want to have honest communication between you, go to counseling, whatever it takes to fix the issues in your marriage, but you will not sit idly by while she tries out other guys to see if you are worth keeping. Is she close with her parents? Can you expose this to them? Is the ex-husband still with his girlfriend/wife? I would expose to her as well.

You need to shed light on this emotional/physical affair so it does not seem so romantic for your WW.

ex-WW had 2 PAs in first 2 years. Buh-bye.
Divorce finalized: 1/28/09
Now just living and loving again.