Originally Posted by StayingStrong32
The moral of the story is, if the "most important needs" aren't filled by you, they will find someone else to fill them. I wish I'd found this site earlier.

SS, people cheat because they have poor boundaries. Your wife had very poor boundaries and if this is not corrected, it will happen again.

Steve Harley of Marriage Builders said this once:

"As long as you believe that your H had an affair because his emotional needs were not being met (as a *primary* reason) you will be meeting his emotional needs out of fear, there will always be a gun held to your head. Your H had an affair because he failed to protect HIMSELF from his own vulnerabilities, period. He is accountable and responsible for all"

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101