Thank you for all the great information, everyone!

I confronted the OM immediately, and let them both know that no more communication will happen between them, or there would be severe consequences. In addition, I told him I would tell his wife unless he did. And he apparently has now. I plan on confirming that with her this week.

I intend on following all the advice presented here. I will make the bounderies very clear, and I will insist that everything is shared. She has confessed everything to her family and to mine, which took an increible amount of bravery on her part. She has displayed that she is committed to this family and making our marriage work. For that, I am so greatful. I honestly can't imagine having to goIng through some of the D stories I've read on this forum.

BS (Me): 32
WW: 32
D-Day: 12/28/09 (fresh in my mind)