Even if you "agreed" with OM, struck a deal with him not to tell his wife, you have struck a deal with the devil here. You cannot count on him to act in good faith.

Additionally, how would you feel if a third party struck a deal with your wife to keep her future affairs secret from you? Not only would you be outraged at your spouse, you would be outraged that a third party would so callously agree to deceive you.

Exposure will suck for him. There's a good chance he will call your wife in a screaming rage.

Guess what? That was a GREAT thing for my marriage. The day he totally lost it with her over the phone was the day she realized that I had NEVER totally lost it with her. I'd never gotten angry enough to scream at her hysterically and make threats... even in the face of the greatest trauma of my life.

So man up, and be ready to face the other man's wife with evidence. Not only do you have a responsibility to your marriage to ensure that the other man is being watched closely by his spouse, and an additional incentive to prevent the other man from ever contacting your wife again, but you have a societal obligation to let this poor betrayed wife know the truth about her own relationship.

The truth is always a defense.

(Formerly Barnboy)
Original thread lost in the forum purge of '09.
4 months after D-Day
1 year after D-Day
Two Years Later
Four Years Later