So, the BEST thing I ever did was to contact the OW!!! What a great technique I just learned, and anybody in the same situation needs to do this:

After getting the whole story from the OW, I told my wife I knew everything, and that I wanted to hear it all from her mouth. So she told me EVERYTHING. . . . even MORE then what the OW knew! Wow. So I went back to the OW and told her the new stuff. She did the same thing with her H and she came back to me with what parts of the stories were different. When I addressed my W about it, she just got livid because he's pretty much calling my W a liar, and now she TOTALLY despises the OM. I think this may have been the fastest "coming out of the fog" in history.

One example of the differences in their story is, he is denying that they ever ACTUALLY had sex. He claims they tried, in the car, a number of times, but never went through with it. Why would my wife make something like that up? This guy seems like a freakin' tool.

Anyway, knowing the whole story is like starting from square one again. Today was really hard, but now that all the cards are on the table I know that recovery will be quicker. My mind doesn't have to work to make stuff up anymore! It's a strange relief.

BS (Me): 32
WW: 32
D-Day: 12/28/09 (fresh in my mind)