So, please stop makin it sound like she's some slut who jumped this random guy after lunch, because it was nothing like that. This forum is supposed to be for emotional support to enable my healing process, not to create more negative feelings for my W. She's been my best friend since college, we love eachother more than anything, she's an amazing mother and wife, and I understand that we're all human and we all make major F ups in our life. Maybe if some of you all took more time to realize that, you wouldve been able to repair your own relationships.
ss, easy, now.
I'm not going to attempt to speak for everyone, but I think I can say this: you are on a forum for rebuilding a M. The people on here are in varying stages of either healing their M or coming to terms with the fact that it's not going to happen. A lot of different emotions come with all of these stages. Some posters on here are so damaged and hurt that they carry that bias with them in their postings. Others have posting styles that come across much stronger than what they actually intend to convey. Online postings just can't be the same as meeting face-to-face, but it'll have to do in order to accomplish what we're trying to do, here.
Still others have accepted and embraced you as 'family', and as family they're trying to watch your back to make sure your WW does nothing to hurt you further.
All of these postings are intended to help you, not jump on your W. Accept the ones that help, discard the ones that don't. You get to choose. But if your W has confessed and you don't want to 'dwell on the fact' that she slept with a friend of yours, what is your goal for being on this forum?
There are many, many BS who have been exactly where you are, experienced where you are right now, and have not
had a good outcome. Of course we know people screw up.
But may I say, gently, here: "Maybe if some of you all took more time to realize that, you wouldve been able to repair your own relationships."
This comment from you is presumptuous and is, IMO, premature on your part. You may not be in the place of healing with your W that you think you are. We're trying to keep you conscious of that.