Let me say that at this point, she was doing everything right and I was doing everything wrong. I do not make excuse for my horrid actions any more than she does for her 2 A's. Revenge was not mine to take. The sick thing in all this was that through it all, I loved her. I still loved my beautiful wife. Now I was the one who needed to change and I don't change easy. Getting me to the point where I see my failure can be difficult sometimes. Once I am there, I am gung ho to fix it. I instituted EP's for her and myself. We listed out things we would never do to each other, things that we would do to prevent us from ever getting to that place again and we began working together to fix us. That's how we spent the next 2.5 years.

I had ups and downs, she's had ups and downs. She has had NC with OM since DDay with 2 exceptions. Both were intiated by him. We didn't know about MB you see. I had bought SAA, read about 2 chapters or so and threw it away. It pi$$ed me off. I didn't like what Dr. Harley had to say about me. now we had started through trial and error doing a weird version of MB that I figured out on my own. During that first year of recovery, OM emailed my wife 2x. Both times she forwarded the message to me and I made her respond the 1st time, and I responded the second time. I love being here on the lsit, so I won't repost the unedited version.... here's both letters:

Him (letter #1):

Grace, is this a good address to email you at?

Her response:

How dare you ! Do NOT e-mail, call, write or attempt to contact me in any way...ever! I do NOT want to talk to you. I do NOT want to see you. I do NOT want to hear from you!!! You have [censored] up my life enough as it is...leave me the hell alone. Go e-mail your own wife...I am cv'S!!

You must have a death wish, because my husband will #%$^ing kill you if you continue to contact me!!

I am NOT waiting for you. I am NOT and NEVER have been in love with you. We will NEVER be together. I gladly belong to cv and to him alone!!!
cv's wife,


The second letter was a response letter from him...

Him: I thought we had something good. What about the promises we made to each other?

I responded...


It seems that you are continually a bane on my friggin existence. I need to ask you something that really isn't open for debate.

Over the course of the nine months, my wife had made many promises to your sorry ass. Promises of love and affection forever, promises to love you, promises to stay with you. Probably much more. You need to respond back. You will release her from her vows, promises and oaths that she has made to you. If you do not, I promise you that your fun from a few weeks ago will not end, it will not stop, it will never cease. In fact, I promise that the next time, I will be there to indulge in the fun and frolic of my friends. I will not be as whimsical as my friends in their approach to having fun. I take it very seriously. release her from her vows, set her free or you and I are going to the woodshed.

Celtic Voyager
Married 22+ years
3 young adult children

"A story of me"