trn,

No....you MUST expose!

I waffled too...afraid of the repurcussions...afraid of what W's family's reaction would be.

You know what I found out? DESPITE them knowing that we had issues in our marriage NOT ONE OF THEM approved adultery as a course of action, as a way to 'fix' the marriage.

Frankly, one of my W's uncles -- one who has never been too fond of me -- was ADAMANT about her ending the affair FIRST, THEN work on fixing the marriage...or not.

Point is, even HE knew it was wrong of her, and could not excuse it, no matter what his feelings toward me or the condition of our marriage pre-a was.

Expose.

It works.