For some reason today I decided to stop back here.

My life has changed dramatically, from the person that first found hope through this site. I struggled with fear, and lived in a state of panic for 6 years. You believe the lies and the promises but then know it is not going to change.
It took me several years to decide to leave, you see when you are a pastor/missionary, the exposure of an affair, is pricey.
Your entire world is turned upside down, you lose your job, house, everything.I stay silent out of fear of loss. I started see a counselor, and he made a statement that turned a light on in my head... he said, "when you stay silent and not expose him, you are participating in the affair!" That was a push that helped me begin.
God allowed me to get a job and helped me to move up in positions and in pay. Little by little I was moving toward getting out.
I finally decided to tell a friend, she told me that if I ever wanted to leave, I could stay with her.
I was gaining courage to make the move. Then one day, I did, I pack the car and left, heart breaking knowing that it will never be the same.
My then WH never once made an attempt to reconcile. The Senior pastor sided with him. So did my children. I was estranged from my daughter for months and my son for several years, and my grandchildren.
I wish I could say that I did everything well, but I can't. I made mistakes as I fought through raw emotions.

I am now married to a wonderful man, my children and grandchildren are restored to me. God has given my husband and I a ministry that I would have never dreamed I would be doing.
The Lord has been my defender, He exposed the lies and the deceptions. My EX returned to the woman back in the country where we were missionaries, my children struggle with the choice he has made.

Don't know why I have rambled on so...

I hope that if someone reads this, to know that battle is hard, there is collateral damage everywhere... but there is hope when you choose truth. God is able to take the pieces and make something new and it will bring joy, peace and love to your life.

I am hanging on to the only anchor that holds on in any storm. JESUS