Is there any hope for me to ever be able to live with such a person. Can they really change if they want too.
Yes, but your husband has to be committed to changing and actively taking steps to change. Given that he has counseled with Steve and nothing has changed, you should prepare for a separation. Either he will get serious, or you will be free from him.

Do you have a job? What steps will you need to take to separate?

Markos' Wife
8 kids ...
What to do with an Angry Husband