Nellie,<BR>so goood to hear that balanced side of your post....our kids are so much smarter than we realize.<P>Honestly, all we can do is equip them with the right tools to make the best decisions at appropriate times. Down the road, we have no more control over their minds than we have over our husbands who "warped" for moments, weeks, years or whatever. That's not abdication speaking...it's merely a reality about control.<P>Continued good thoughts for you <P>TNT - I really like your post because it mirrors some of my own relationship with my husband. I'm the optimist and he is not necessarily a pessimest but he is extremely critical....everything turns ABSOLUTE with him...even now....well into a solid recovery. However, I'm much more in tune now into his behavior and it makes it much easier to understand what is going on and what I can reasonably do to impact and change the direction. thanks !<P>-Tina