This thread makes me so sad, but I can understand the feelings that have been shared here. After experiencing the pain of infidelity and the heartache of betrayal, it is easy to become cynical about marriage. <P>This site can give a lot of comfort and good advice, but it can also let you get caught up in the pain and disappointment that occurs when one of the members discover that they have been lied to, again. That the promise to recommit to the marriage has been broken, again.<P>It does seem like the success stories are few and far between, while the failures are rampant and well documented here. And even the success stories have setbacks. Plan A doesn't always work to win the spouse back, and Plan B doesn't always shock them into coming home.<P>But I bet if everyone of us think about it, we can name a couple that does have a successful marriage, one without infidelity. And we can think of success stories if we try. Lonestar & Petunia; DuncanMac & Suse; PEPPERMINT & FIRESTORM (soon).<P>I wrote my husband a note today that said basically this: We have had almost 25 years together and they have been far from perfect. His affair was the worst of it, but that was only a small part of our life together. I refuse to let eight miserable months negate the rest of it. He has been the best thing that EVER happened to me, and if the only way to avoid this heartache would have been to not ever have him, I would choose this temporary pain and misery.<P>Everything in life is a risk- jobs, relationships, having children, driving on the interstate, etc. Nothing is without risk. The only way to avoid possible heartache and pain is to avoid everything that might possibly cause it. That would also mean avoiding every possible joy and pleasure.<P>Even now, I know that the happiness in my marriage has far outweighed this pain. Plus I know that nothing could be worse than this, so I'm looking to the future knowing that it will be better than what I feel right now.<P>Sometimes this site gets me down too, so I take frequent breaks. I also tend to stay in the Recovery Section most of the time. I wish everyone here could have the kind of recovery that they want. Barring that, I hope everyone here will find peace and happiness. This site, for all its problems, has been a blessing for me, my husband, and our marriage. <P>Thanks to you all!<P>Peppermint