Beth,<P>My H agreed after he left that I shouldn't have been expected to read his mind, or vice versa. But then, he said a few weeks ago that if we had "faced our problems" we would have divorced long ago. Apparently in his opinion our problems were so severe that no amount of work would have enabled us to resolve them even if we had been aware of them early on, yet not so severe that he couldn't ignore them for 19 years, and apparently for me still to have no idea what they were. Doesn't make much sense to me.<P>TheStudent,<P>This is definitely one of those lessons that doesn't need to be learned. And I hate the fact that my kids are learning it as well. Lots of bad things happen that nothing good comes out of. Your frosting analogy is certainly apropos, and it is going to be hard to forget that mental picture!<P>My H and I lived together for more than four years before we married, and I did feel a greater sense of committment after we married. Of course I don't know if he felt that way - apparently not as strongly as I did, anyway.