Nellie, <BR>Another book you might take a look at is Harville Hendrix's getting the love you want. It explains why we are attracted to a particular type of person, and gives some explanation as to how we can change ourselves so that our relationships are more fulfilling in the future. Working on a marriage is really hard when only one person is doing it. That appears to be your case, as your husband has moved out of his own choice, and is still with the OW. I wish I could run up to him, and slap some sense to him, but alas I can't. I started that way, (or at least it appeared that way to me) But he stayed in the same house. Even came to bed with me, just refused to deal with anything, and was very adamant that he saw no hope. (He was going to give us two months as a gift to our friendship just to make sure he was sure.) The solace I can give you in this whole thing is that you are a strong enough woman to take care of the things that are within your control. The factors that contributed to the breakdown of your marriage that were yours you can take care of. It will increase your chances of a successful relationship in the future with whomever your heart falls in love with. It will also increase your chances of meeting a better partner.